Title: The Meat it Feeds On

Fandom: Harry Potter

Author: Meadowsweet

Feedback: Highly appreciated, only to be sent to the addy above.

Rating: NC-17

Pairings: James/Remus/Sirius

Category: mild Plot What Plot, threesome, angst

Disclaimers: None of the characters portrayed below belong to me. They are owned by J.K. Rowling, Scholarstic Books, Bloomsbury, and Warner Bros (and probably others).

Author's Notes: Thanks to Castalie, for encouraging me to write and beta reading this.

Story Notes: The title was quoted from Shakespeare's Othello: O! Beware, my lord of jealousy;
It is the green-eyed monster with doth mock The meat it feeds on

Summary: Why did Peter join the Dark Side? Was it the scene he witnessed - or the knowledge that he would never be part of it?

Warnings: kink, power play (mild BDSM)

The Meat it Feeds On
by Meadowsweet

They were all sharing the same room at James's parents' - a few more hours and they would go back to Hogwarts. Peter was the only one awake. He was watching Sirius sleep. He had always found him so beautiful when he was asleep - and much more easier to study: Sirius would tell him off if and when he caught him staring at him. He turned to the next bed, where James lay asleep. Another lustful object. If only they would let him near them. Remus moved in his sleep. Peter looked at him, his Byronic hero: so much pain and an inescapable fate!

Why didn't they let him near them? He was both part of the group and removed from it. Too close to befriend other Hogwarts students (beside, who could compete with those three?), yet too far to really be part of them. If only he could prove that he was worthy of them. That thought brought tears to his eyes: was he really worthy of them? Of course not. How could he? *Poor brainless, loveless, ugly Peter, how could you be a match to them?*

Sirius with his impossibly selfish, handsome figure, too beautiful, so beautiful that if you didn't want to sleep with him *be honest, Peter,* a voice in his head said, *you mean "fuck", don't you? Always use the correct terms, boy, there's nothing to be ashamed of!* - that if you didn't want to fuck him or have him fuck you, your only fantasy was to break him. He had both looks and brains. That was too much not to attract jealousy.

James and his easy-going manners, his talent on the Quidditch field, his intelligence that he used both to torment his enemies (well, Severus Snape mostly) and help his friends (it had been his idea to turn into Animagi... oh the pain it had been to become a rat! To sacrifice himself - his pride *what pride?*- for them... and they had not even been thankful for that... * What other animal would you have wished to be?* the voice in his head went again. *You're part of me, of my kingdom, of the rat family... it's not that bad really... at least among rats you're never lonely*. James, who was such a tease - playing with his Snitch, ruffling his hair, casting glances at his audience... Assurance and talent... Peter wanted to be part of that!

Remus... his doomed hero. The most decent person Peter had ever met. Would he have been the same had he not become a werewolf? Peter didn't know, didn't care. Remus and his quiet presence, soothing all of them, unwilling to complain about his fate, making jokes about werewolves... *He seemed to deal with his transformation well, that freak, not even feeling guilty
about what you had to go through for him* But Peter had chosen to become an Animagus for him. *No, you let them talk you into it because you were too scared they would reject you.*

Yes, his three best friends. He would give his life for them... He already gave them part of it by becoming a part-time rat. If only they could accept him... make him a real part of their group... They had never asked him to be part of it. But he knew. He knew that the three of them would meet at night and fuck. He had followed them - it wasn't an easy task because James used the Invisibility Cloak to cover the three of them, and they would take the Map. But they had turned him into a rat after all - he used that ability to keep track of them, smelling them, asking his fellow rats for information when he lost them.

How shocked he had been when he first saw them. Listening to their conversations about girls, he would never have thought they were into... that - it made him blush just to recall it. He could remember it like it was yesterday...

******

Peter had followed them to the Shrieking Shack, had crept as a rat into the room, his heart beating fast after a narrow escape from some stupid cat - when would students learn to keep their animals locked in during the night? He stayed where he was, enjoying the show.

Sirius was lying on the floor, lascivious, his shoulders and head resting on what looked like a pile of cushions , his left knee drawn up, his foot resting on the floor. His left arm was cushioning his head, while his right hand was playing with a cigarette. His attention was set on Remus, whose head was resting on Sirius's stomach. He lay flat on his back, his legs extended, his left ankle resting on his right ankle. His right hand was busy preventing the ashtray from falling - which was due to happen as Remus kept turning his head toward Sirius, then toward James, as he seemed to be talking to both of them. His left hand was stroking absentmindedly Sirius's crotch. James was sitting on the floor at Remus's feet, his back against the wall, his knees drawn up, his forearms resting on his knees. He was frowning slightly in concentration, moving only to bring his cigarette to his mouth.

***

"I swear, I'm tired of kissing your ashtray mouths!" Remus whined.

They laughed.

"A twenty minutes explanation summarized in one sentence... that sounds very much like my Remus," Sirius said, having a drag and releasing it slowly, taking his time, as if he were daring his friend to make him stop.

***

Peter could not hear them. Therefore he could not understand what made James and Sirius burst into laughter, followed closely by Remus who handed the ashtray first to Sirius, who dropped his cigarette in it. Then, resting his elbow on the floor, his right hand holding the ashtray, he looked at James. Sirius unfolded his left arm to stroke Remus's hair as James smiled, stretched, ruffled his hair and crawled slowly, oh so slowly to come forward. He kneeled, his cigarette hanging on his lips, he took off his tee-shirt, revealing his flat stomach. He paused, frowned, stubbed his cigarette. He held Remus's right wrist, took the ashtray from his hand and put it aside, still holding his friend's hand. He looked at the hand he was holding, opened it totally to look at it, as though he wanted to read Remus's future.

***

"You're going to pay for that. I hope you know what you're doing. You're going to have one fucking future," James said.

***

Whatever he told them, it was bound to be funny, because the two others laughed at it. Another joke that was lost on poor Peter, whose heart was still beating so loud that it impaired his hearing.

Quick as a cat, James moved and straddled Remus's hips and attempted to undo his shirt, while Sirius made no movement to free his cock, which was bulging, but instead he kept on stroking Remus's hair. James, having performed a simple Muggle spell on his friend's shirt, otherwise known as "ripping it off and who cares about the buttons, it takes too long anyway", lay forward and kissed Remus for what seemed like hours to Peter.

When he broke the kiss, he grinned at his friend, then whispered something to his ear, chuckled, and resting his weight on his left elbow, attempted to undo Sirius's crotch. Sirius meanwhile made no move but kept on grinning, kept on being his beautiful Remus got hold of his shirt, and pulled to bring Sirius's right arm closer. Having done so, Remus licked Sirius's palm, slowly, tasting him, following every line, enjoying the salty flavour of his friend, while James managed to set Sirius's cock free and, still straddling Remus, cast a quick glance at him, smiled, and licked the tip of his dick.

Watching, Peter would have given anything to be part it. He loved how Sirius smelled, and could only assume that he would taste like... that he would taste amazing - surely, nothing could compare with Sirius.

Remus moved from Sirius's palm to his fingers, mimicking on those the movement James's set on his cock. He licked each side of it, slowly, savouring him, his taste, his moans (or so Peter imagined), the arching of his hips, the curve of his firm stomach under Remus's head as his held his breath, his eyelids closed...

Peter wondered if he was keeping his eyes closed in order to enjoy the sensation more or to picture himself with someone else. Not that he would have dreamt that he was part of Sirius's fantasy, no. Maybe some pretty boy. Or boys. Or girls. Or both. Maybe he was picturing an orgy, being surrounded by female slaves that would do his bidding. *why don't you just admit that he may be into men but certainly not into you?* the voice asked. Peter, still as a rat, moved to have a closer look. Sirius's lascivious pose reminded him of pictures of harem he had seen.

Sirius seemed close to come when James let go of his cock with one last nip and clutched his balls to prevent him from coming. Sirius, angry, retrieved his hand from Remus's mouth and raised, resting on his elbows, but James did not let go of his balls. Instead, he freed Remus, who turned slowly around toward Sirius's indignation, grinning, and rose slowly to kneel next to Sirius. James came to sit on the other side of Sirius, a malicious smile answering Remus's. He had not let go of Sirius, he had merely changed hand. From the look on Sirius's face, he must have squeezed too hard for his liking.

***

"Let me kiss it better," Remus offered, crawling forward to lick Sirius's shaft, while James resumed on kissing the tip.

***

James took off Sirius's pants and with Remus, they took turns sucking their friend, Remus swallowing him while James licked Sirius's balls. They both resumed licking the side of his cock until they met at the tip and kissed each other, a mixture of spit and pre-come.

While all this had happened very slowly, the next movements were quick: James turned Sirius around, Remus pulled up Sirius's tee-shirt over his head, knocking the ashtray down, spilling the cigarettes butts, which only seemed to make him more eager to work on Sirius: he didn't pull off his tee-shirt, and instead trapped his head and arms in it. Meanwhile, James unbuttoned his pair of jeans, freed his cock which was already dripping fluids, slicked his cock with his own pre-come, and entered Sirius without any further preparation.

Peter could only guess the scream that echoed in the room as James penetrated Sirius roughly.

***

"Don't!" Sirius screamed before he was blinded by the pain.

Burying his head in the cushions to hold back a yell, he wriggled in an attempt to shake James off his body.

"I don't think you're in any position to make a request, love," James laughed.

"But you promised," Sirius said through clenched teeth - he could feel the tears in his eyes.

***

James stopped once he was inside his lover's ass to give him time to adjust to his cock - which was made easier by the frantic motions Sirius was making in an attempt to get rid of James, who didn't let go but instead was enabled to thrust in deeper. Remus in the meantime was sitting at their side, apparently relaxed, his head tilted to the side, his weight supported by his hands resting slightly behind him. He had not unbuttoned his pants, but he was obviously hard. James slightly bit the skin on Sirius's right shoulder blade, and started fucking him hard. Remus was breathing through an open mouth, running his tongue on his lips as though he could still taste Sirius on them, his hips moving in rhythm with James's movements, his head tilted back.

They came together.

They rested a few minutes, catching their breaths. Only then did James took his cock out of Sirius's ass, kissing his neck as he removed the tee-shirt. He turned his lover around and licked his tears away. Sirius grinned, raised his right arm, put his hand behind James's neck and pulled him in a kiss, the two of them caressing each other's body, their cocks rubbing against each other. Remus was now laying on his back, his eyes closed. After a moment, he turned to watch the action taking place at his side. His two friends kissed until they were hard again.

When the lovers turned their heads toward Remus, their limbs were so entangled that it would have been difficult to separate them: Sirius's knees were bent, his right foot resting between James's legs, while his hands caressed his lover's lightly muscular back. James had a firm grip on
Sirius's nape, as if to prevent him from going anywhere... as if daring anyone to try and take him away from his lover.

Wearing identical grins, as if their kiss had enabled them to communicate what they intended to do with Remus who raised a quizzical eyebrow. The answer he received made him stand up and take his pants off. James did the same. Sirius had resumed his previous position, his shoulders and head resting on the cushions, his arms raised above his head, his cock hard.

Peter thought Sirius really could not have looked more submissive if he had tried.

***

"My Remus is going to get some," Sirius sighed.

"Any special request, love?" James asked.

Sirius shook his head. "You know I like your improvisations. Don't be rough with my Remus though, he deserves more care than I do."

***

Standing, James and Remus kissed and caressed each other's stomach, cock, shoulder, back, ass... while James guided them toward the wall next to Sirius's head. Remus let his hands wander on his friend's skin, until his right hand rested on James's cock and his left on his shoulder blade.
James broke the kiss to allow Remus to suck on his fingers, and when he considered them wet enough, he resumed the kiss and lowered his right hand to his friend's ass. He inserted one finger, enjoying the sensation of the tight ring of muscles contracting. Then a second finger, which made
Remus's hand tense on James's back. Remus broke the kiss and whispered something in James's ear. James frowned and removed his fingers. Remus looked as though he was apologizing. James looked down at Sirius, who laughed and extended an arm to make a soothing sign at James, who seemed to relax and turned his attention back to Remus, who smiled in apology.

***

"I'll fuck you when I feel like it, is that clear?"

Remus shook his head and opened his mouth to talk, but Sirius spoke, "Be gentle, James, he suffered enough last time."

James smiled. "As you wish, my love." And he turned his attention back to Remus.

***

James turned Remus around and started to slowly penetrate him. Remus was resting his forehead on the stone wall, his hands on each side, smiling. James kissed either his neck or his shoulder each time he thrust deeper into Remus, who then followed the motion set by his friend, his speed
increasing. Looking down, Remus's eyes caught Sirius's. Sprawled on the floor, Sirius was stroking his cock in rhythm, gazing first at James's cock, then locking eyes with Remus and holding his gaze, smiling back until James's thrusts got harsher and Remus was being lifted on the ball of his feet with each thrust and screwed his eyes shut. James had not come but he stopped and rested, seeming to enjoy the feeling of being buried deep inside his friend. When he moved his hand to stroke Remus's cock, Remus stopped him, being unwilling to come too quickly - that didn't please James. Sirius, however, came. Both his friends looked down at him, James grabbed Remus's hands, pinned them up above his head with his left, grabbed his cock with his other hand, and resumed their fucking. It wasn't long before Remus came, soon followed by James.

The two of them sank back to the floor, where Remus went back to Sirius's arms, which encircled him. The two of them kissed lightly. James rested his head on the cushions next to Sirius, their heads touching. Remus rested his head on Sirius's shoulder, Sirius's right arm around him. Remus
rested his legs on James's thighs. The three of them smiled, contented.

Peter ran away. Now that he had found out what he had been looking for, what was he going to do? Beg them to fuck him? To let him fuck them? Of course not, that was ridiculous. He was not worthy of him. Never was, never will be. Cursing his name, which lacked the "s" consonant that
seemed required to join the gang bang, he left. When he turned back to human, he was hard. And to his shame, he was also crying.

***

"I think you two need to be reminded who's in charge," James whispered with a grin.

"Next time, James, next time," Sirius said quietly, stifling a yawn.

"Remus, you meant what you say, didn't you? If we give up, you're ours. You'll follow every order we give you for a month?" James asked.

"Don't I always?"

"We'll start next time then. Give you time to imagine what to expect."

Remus grinned. "I can hardly wait."

******

Sitting on his bed, looking at each of them individually, his mind was set. He would break them. He could not have them - they would not have him. Then he would break them. He laid back, and, his decision taken, he fell back to sleep. He was a rat, wasn't he? Then he would behave as one.

He should never have been allowed to dream that he could be part of them. They would pay.

Fin