Title: Two Fathers, Two Sons (part 8)
Authors: Bertie and Leather Alex
Emails: bermille@earthlink.net and leather_alex@yahoo.com
Status: WIP
Archive: sure
Category: Male pregnancy
Note: For Ursula. Bertie is Skinner and Mulder; Leather Alex is Krycek.
Thanks
to Ursula for beta.
SKINNER
I can't believe it - I have a baby boy. He looks so beautiful. Dana has
prepared
a formula she hopes the babies will take to since she doesn't believe
Alex
will be able to produce enough milk to feed the
babies. Alex was greatly relieved when he heard that. He wasn't about
to
feed them. My sweet boy is eating so hardily - I know this is a
Skinner,
no doubt about it.
Mulder has been amazing throughout, I thought for sure he would have
fainted
long ago. But he is standing there holding and feeding his baby boy. I
think
there are tears in his eyes, but some of that may be exhaustion. He's
been
through some rough shit in his time, but this is, I hope, for him a
good
thing.
Dana said she had to put some sutures where Alex was torn a bit but it
wasn't
as bad as she thought it could be. No anal sex, though, that's for
certain
- even with long vegetables. I will have to tie
him down to ensure that if I have to. It shouldn't be that long - maybe
a
month at the most. I do not want to be the one to tell him that,
though.
I can just hear him screaming.
Looking down at my beautiful boy, I know I will have to do something
drastic
in my life. I want so badly to be a part of his life and be there for
him
- even Mulder's baby, if he will let me.
Oh, I have forgotten to ask Alex about naming our baby. If he wants a
Russian
name, that's fine by me. I only want to look at my boy with pride and
love.
***
MULDER
Geez, who knew I could do this? That I like doing this; I like holding
my
boy in my arms. Fuck, I don't want to cry but I'm holding back a wail
myself.
I don't want to cause my sweet boy to cry nor
Walter's fat boy. I think it will be hard for me not to call him Fatty
Wally
but I know I will have to keep that to myself or have a fist in my face.
He looks so precious, sucking on the bottle. It's good that he took to
it
so well; otherwise I would have been provoked into suckling him with my
tit.
I snort and Walter looks over at me, but I just shake my
head and go back to looking at my sweet boy. Hm, I wonder if Alex would
like
Joshua. That's a good Jewish name. I bet Alex doesn't know that I have
Russian
Jewish grandparents on my mother's side.
***
ALEX
When I wake up, I feel like I'd have been put through a meat-grinder.
I'm
so weak that I don't even want to lift my head when I hear babies
squalling.
It sounds like hell; I wonder how many are there are?
Wait, I gave birth. At least some must be mine.
I turn on my other side, close my eyes for a while, then open them
again.
Won't sleep any more. What time it might be? How long was I in labor?
It all seems like it happened in a nightmare.
I remember, I passed out. Then Scully, the damn woman, wouldn't let me
sleep
but cleaned me. Fuck, and sutured my ass, cruel bitch. Can't even think
of
that.
I gather my strength and pull myself up in a half-sitting position. My
ass
hurts like hell, head is spinning around. I look on my left and right
for
something to drink. There's nothing. Well, they could
have left some water.
It is quite cold here. Probably because I'm still wet with my sweat.
The
men had mercy enough at least not to make me go to the other bed or
wash.
I wouldn't have been able to.
It is a goddamn mess on the end of the bed. Blood all over the place.
Mine. I gave birth.
So, this is over.
This is really over.
I've been waiting for this moment like crazy, and it feels so damn
good.
It's over. I'm a man again. My stomach is flat. The pain is over. All
the
shit is over. I won't be sick in the mornings. I will be able to move
again.
And now Skinner will take me to live in a fancy house, together with
Mulder.
Actually, this was worth it.
I feel good. Well, it was even better if Mulder and Skinner were here
with
me now, at the bed, giving me some water and food... and some vodka,
yes,
I can drink now, right? They would tell me how much they love me. Gee,
I
would feel loved and happy, and I would be important. They could give
me
presents. Like a new leather jacket, for instance. Or color printer
would
be good. And scanner. After all, I gave them babies. Well, there were
surely
two screaming and they both are born from me. One lump, and then one
more.
I remember clearly.
***
After some time, Mulder's head appears in the door. Seeing me awake he
calls
for Walter.
They come into the room, bringing ...well, of course not a jacket and
printer,
and scanner, but the babies in their arms.
It feels quite unreal to see them. That there really are actual babies.
That
I would be the one who have made them.
They put the squealers on the bed, on my chest. One stops screaming,
the
other one follows along.
Well, the screamer really seems like mine, I grin.
I take him... her?... in my hands, so strange, small, and warm. Well,
this
would be interesting to know. I open the blanket the screamer is
wrapped
in and, bingo, it's a boy.
Nice change. Up to me, according to my mother's words, there were only
girls
getting born in our family. But then, it might be that he is not mine
at
all. Just Skinner's. Or Mulder's. Who knows? The eyes, when he opens
them,
seem green though.
He looks around almost like a person. Does he really see something?
Does
he see me? Little green eyes seem quite unfocused.
I drive my hand along his body. It's funny, how small he is. His cock,
well,
that's quite a laugh, such a tiny thing. Fingers are so small I'm even
a
little bit afraid to touch them with mine. It's strange that he is
moving
and screaming and opening eyes and closing them. He seems like a toy
actually.
The other one has got my nose. This must be a girl. I repeat the same
operation
with the blanket and find a little cock again. So, I have got two boys
here.
This one is calmer, just moving around with his
arms, touching me. Probably wants to convince me he's real. Well, I
guess,
however strange it isn't, I start to believe that already. Can't
believe
though that these toys made me suffer like an animal.
They don't look like capable of hurting someone, especially me.
I keep touching his tiny nipples, his small body, when the little hand
somehow
manages to wrap around my finger. It is just a little while but feels
so
strange. As if he knew I'm here and wants to be with me or something.
He is so small and defenseless. Both of them. Little. Unprotected.
Mine.
I mean, actually, they are Skinner's and Mulder's, but then they used
to
live in me after all. Their flesh is made from mine; and
it feels like they want to be close to me. The blood of my blood, my
genes,
moving on.
Somewhere in the back of my mind there is a nagging, nasty, unfamiliar
fear
that someone might want to hurt them - real bad. To take advantage of
their
helplessness.
I mustn't think of it. Not now.
The little guy continues to move around with his arms.
Somehow I want to make him feel good. After all, he grabbed my finger.
I pull off my robe. Head spins around again.
"Wanna feel him," I explain to Mulder and Skinner, then turn against
the
wall, my back to the men, and keep the kid's head at my left nipple. He
wraps
the tiny lips around it and start sucking. Almost
like Mulder or Skinner. I wonder if he gets some liquid or is it just
the
sucking reflex working. I feel nothing at all; well, my nipples have
never
been my erogenous zone.
The screamer starts to scream again.
He has a damn loud voice. Charles said I was a bad screamer as a baby
and
nobody really liked me because of it. I can't do the same thing to
that...
little toy. Still he will have to wait while the first one
is done, 'cause I can't have him at the other nipple - Skinner and
Mulder
will see that. I know they might have some suspect already, - so, what
the
fuck, I really wanted to do something good to the kid,
but no way I'm gonna let them watch me do this in the open.
***
SKINNER
I wish he would let me watch him bond with the babies. He looks so
beautiful.
I want to curl up behind him and hold him as he does this. I don't know
if
he's ready for anything yet. I don't want to push
him. I know he must be in pain from the whole process.
***
MULDER
Damn, I can tell Daddy Skinner is dying to be a part of the family
that's
right there in front of him, but he's holding back. Probably because he
fears
Alex may want to leave, not be a part of this after
all. Maybe that's my own desires leaking over. I sigh. I have to face
facts.
No way can I continue to be a dog for justice against the powers that
be
and also be a father to my baby. Damn this hurts. I just wish Alex
would
give me a sign that he wants me to be a part of his life or not.
Scully comes in with a tray for Alex. She told me he has to be in a
liquid
diet. She has a bowl of broth, water and a cup of Jell-o. I don't think
he
will be happy with that. She waits though, seeing that he is with the
babies.
I lift her hand and kiss it. She smiles.
***
SKINNER
Dana takes the boy from Alex when the baby squalls. The boy's not
getting
enough to eat from Alex, though he loves being with Alex. I take the
tray
and put it over Alex's lap. He looks at it and says, "What the fuck is
this
shit?"
"I'm sorry, baby, but you have to have a liquid diet until you're
healed."
That doesn't soothe him at all. He glares at me but eats the broth,
ignoring
the Jell-o completely.
"Can I have some alcohol?" He looks so young, pleading like that.
Dana shakes her head. "I'm sorry, Alex. You shouldn't drink alcohol
just
now. It's not good for the healing process."
"Fuck the 'healing process', Walter, I need a drink!"
"Not if you're going to try nursing the babies, Alex. It wouldn't be
good
for them," Dana admonishes.
He hangs his head as if in shame.
***
MULDER
Alex finally accepts his fate of a buzz free immediate future. Walter
will
definitely keep an eye out for that. When Dana takes the tray, Walter
sits
on the bed with his boy and tries to engage Alex. I can
tell it's a bit overwhelming. I know the feeling, but I'm standing here
holding
my boy and feeding him and it is overwhelming, though I realize it's a
good
thing.
"Hey, Alex, have you thought of names?" I ask him. "What do you think
of
Joshua for our little brat?"
***
ALEX
What a goddamn terrible name. Well, Josh it will be for me.
"Well, I don't think I have any say in that. They are your babies, you
can
give them any names you want," I answer him.
***
MULDER
Walter looks at me, confused. "Alex, don't you want to name the babies?
I
want to know at least if you want them named after you or maybe one of
your
relatives."
He seems hurt, uncertain why Alex doesn't want to name the babies.
"I have some Jewish Russian ancestors, Alex, would you mind if I name
our
boy after my great uncle Joshua?" I ask, wondering if Alex is going
through
some sort of post partum depression.
We wait patiently thinking maybe we are pushing him too soon for this.
***
ALEX
"I will not mind, Mulder. It's your son," I bend my head again. Don't
want
to look at them. "And, Walt, I will not mind the name you choose for
your
kid, either."
"Alex, we want you to take part in this," Walter says.
I don't think I will be that stupid as to mess with their choice of
names.
They are quite ecstatic about all this. Let them be.
Fuck, maybe Mulder has decided to give that name just because he thinks
it's
Russian or something?
"You don't have to give the baby Jewish Russian name just because I'm
Russian.
The baby will have a better life with a usual American one," I tell
him.
"It's up to you though."
Silence follows for quite a while. Time for me to formulate the
important
sentences.
I clear my throat.
"I... I didn't breast-feed. I just wanted the kids to feel good. That's
it.
And, after all, the liquid in me is supposed to be for them," I swallow
and
look at the wall. "They can eat it if they want. It doesn't mean I'm
breast-feeding.
I don't have breasts. I just let them take something, and that's all. I
think,"
they are staring at me. I can't bear that and drop my eyes, "I think
they
will need me. Is that... your proposal," I look at Walter, but can't
fix
my eyes on him so I look straight through him, "still in force? About
living
with me? And Mulder?"
They didn't try to thank me. Or make me feel that I have done something
special
for them. Actually they seem more interested in the babies. If they
will
be done with me soon, Charles might get me back.
He will most likely use me as a womb again. And I don't want that
happening.
No way.
***
SKINNER
"Of course, Alex, anything for you. Right, Mulder?" I say this to
Mulder,
knowing he wouldn't back down or waiver, not with Alex feeling so
uncertain.
I still don't like the fact he doesn't want to
help name the babies.
"Sure, Walter, absolutely." Mulder sits on the other side of Alex with
baby
Joshua in his arms.
I look down at my precious bundle and grin. "I think 'Sergei' suits
him.
Do you like that, Alex? It's my middle name." Maybe I'm pressuring him.
Maybe
it's too soon. I so want this to work, for all of us to work. I can't
do
this on my own.
Mulder asks, looking at Alex, "Are you all right? Would you like to
take
a nap?"
Hm, maybe if we leave him alone with the babies for a while, he'll want
to
be a part of naming them.
I hand him my Sergei, who whines a bit, but accepts being taken by
Alex.
I give him the bottle and Sergei clamps on to the nipple with relish. A
definite
Skinner, all right. I smile proudly then look at
Alex. I realize that I haven't said a thing to him for what he did for
us.
"Thank you so much, Alex, for bringing the babies into this world.
You're
a braver man than I."
***
ALEX
His words come to me unprepared. I didn't expect they might touch me
that
deeply, I just wanted to feel good... important for a while. But Walter
-
well, he gave up his status, his masculinity for this one
tiny moment, for me.
I blink, then turn my eyes to him. Don't know what to say. The truth
is,
I had no choice.
I sandwich the bottle between my chest and the kid, and put my palm on
his
hand.
"Thank you, Alex," Mulder joins in the refrain, putting his arm around
my
now decreased waist.
I look down at Sergei on my arm. Well, this isn't how I imagined that.
I
want more.
I raise my head and look at Mulder.
"Maybe we could leave the kids for a while? They have somewhere to
sleep,
right? Scully was talking something about cribs last week. I'm dirty,
I'm
freezing, and I really would want to get in a real bed
under the blanket. Where do I sleep?"
"In your bed, in the master bedroom," Mulder looks confused.
As if it was a matter-of-course.
Well, it's not. I'm not pregnant anymore, and the precious babies are
in
cribs, not in me, so how the hell can I be sure I will be allowed to
sleep
in that bed, which actually is the best bed in the house?
Charles would never allow that.
"We're so sorry, Alex," Walter speaks up. "We didn't know you were
cold.
Fox, will you take care of the babies?"
Fox?
Haven't heard this before. I thought Mulder would tear apart anyone's
throat
who dared to call him that name.
"I'll help you to the bathroom," Walter turns his attention back to me.
I hand the kid to Mulder, and Sergei starts to cry immediately; well,
this
is strange, I thought Josh had the monopoly rights on initiating
screaming.
He joins his brother hot on the heels, anyway. Poor Fox. I
get up, and straight into Walter's arms as my fucking head spins around
and
everything turns black in front of my eyes, so that I almost fall back
on
the bed. He lifts me and carries to the bathroom.
I would've liked to go on my own feet actually.
***
The next great news is, that I can't take a regular shower or bath.
Because
of my sutured ass. Mulder has left Scully with their kids, and they're
giving
me a sponge bath instead - as if I were deadly ill
or something.
Mulder makes several attempts to touch my ass; each time he does that I
make
an attempt to crawl into Walter who's holding me in the shower so that
my
fucking spinning head doesn't cause me to fall down again. I don't
care,
if he just wants to look at it. If he tries to stick something into my
asshole
now, I'll roar with pain and then I'm gonna kill him.
Walter slides his arms down on my lower back as Mulder begins to wash
my
shoulders and I put my head on the man's shoulder.
"Walt?"
"Yes, baby?"
"When are you gonna take me to that fancy house where we will be
living?
You and me, and Fox. And the kids."
***
SKINNER
"Hey, I want you one hundred percent well before we attempt to move
you,
baby."
Alex doesn't like that at all.
"We're safe now, but doesn't mean we will be if we move. We'd be
attracting
attention to ourselves. As soon as I get back to DC I will check on
locations
for a house, I promise. Since Mulder is probably
dying to get back, too, maybe I will let you stay here with Scully."
"No fucking way!" he growls.
Mulder snorts. "She doesn't bite, Alex."
Alex glares at Mulder, thinking Mulder's whole reason for wanting to
stick
him with Scully is because he wants to get back to his precious
X-Files.
Well, he probably does. The mere idea has him nearly
salivating. I don't blame him. He has been stuck babysitting Alex for
all
this time. If I knew of another way, I would let him get back to the
X-Files
and leave him there.
A pain shoots through me. I don't want him to leave us; I want him to
be
a part of us - our family. My stomach clenches.
I have my own family!
***
ALEX
I let them dry me with the towel and help me to the master bedroom.
They
are preparing to leave; I ask them to stay. Walter sits on the bed,
Mulder
remains standing at the dresser.
I put my head on the pillow feeling a bit of relief. It's not complete
though.
Just physical. I have to talk to them.
Actually I want to cry. I was eaten up from the inside for six months,
and
went through a fucking living hell just some hours ago, producing his
son,
but he won't even sit on the bed with me.
Not that I would've ever been treated much differently. I don't even
know
why I have such an acute reaction on their behavior. Maybe because I
waited
for something else from them... something more...
that things would change.
That I might really stay with them.
I embrace myself under the blanket and press my face to my own arm on
the
pillow; well, it surely must look as if I don't feel well. Good.
"You gotta make up your mind, Mulder," I say, calm, the way Charles
would've
been talking if he were in my place. "I gave birth to your son. I need
you.
But you're gonna leave me now and run to D.C. You could've at least
stayed
longer. You never know if we'll see each other again."
While Mulder stares at me wordlessly, I make an attempt to sit up. My
head
spins again; I pause longer than the actual spinning lasts, my eyes
closed.
Then I continue.
"I've heard promises before. Oh fuck, I have. I know those games -
believe
the lie. I know you're not gonna come back, and, Walt, you'll probably
return
to your wife. I can't believe that, but well, that's
the way it probably is."
The blanket has remained at my waist as I sat up, so I put my arms
around
me as if I were cold and look at Mulder.
"I don't need much. Not at all. I'll never ask for presents again. I
just
want to be where you are. Actually, I got through all that just because
I
truly hoped you both," I turn my head to Walter, who looks shaken and
stirred,
"will have me. Well, you can kick me out now, but, I'm still not strong
and...
if I will have to go, the babies will go with me. I swear."
***
SKINNER
"Alex, I'm not going back to my wife, we haven't been living together
for
three months. She wants to divorce me." I hope this will reassure him.
I
don't know where he comes up with this notion that Mulder and I don't
want
to be a part of his life now.
As for Mulder, I don't know yet. I can't force him to remain with Alex.
I
want to beat his ass and tie him to my bed but I know that's not going
to
happen.
Alex is just pouting, not really believing me.
"Mulder? Please tell Alex you aren't leaving us. You're just going to
get
your affairs squared away in DC before you come back here, right?"
"Of course, Walter. I have to get things squared away, Alex." He says
this,
turning to Alex. "If I'm moving in with you both, I have to take care
of
my own apartment and my things. Walter hasn't even found a place for us
yet.
I'm going to help him move out when we do find a place."
Alex is feeling threatened by us leaving him with Scully. She is being
a
trooper for staying with a moody postpartum man who is going to be
missing
Mulder and me.
***
MULDER
Shit, we can't leave without a big scene. I move towards the bed and
look
into his distraught eyes. I don't think he realizes he shows his
feelings
well.
"Alex, we won't leave you. We're going to come back as soon as we can.
Don't
you want Walter to find a good place to stay? His wife has the house
and
he has been living out of a temporary apartment." I hope this will help
his
fears.
I move closer when he doesn't seem to respond. I lift his hand and kiss
it.
"I know we need more time, but there isn't any at the moment, not when
there
is so much to do."
Fuck it. I bend and kiss the pout from his lips. He opens under my
kiss,
and my tongue plays with his.
***
ALEX
Mulder starts kissing me. I kiss him back and put my hand on his neck.
He
responds very well to me, gets on the bed, kicks off his shoes and
joins
me under the blanket.
Just when his hand lands on my hip I get it. Of course, what else can
be
on Mulder's mind than sex?
I can't satisfy a man now. Well, I don't want to. I gave fucking birth
a
while ago and I'm too tired to breathe let alone to think of sex.
I try to kiss him innocently, but end up with Mulder's tongue fucking
my
mouth. Pushing him away is not an option. What if good sex is the only
thing,
besides the squealers, of course, I can keep them with?
I whimper. And that's just plain stupid. Even Charles, by my moans and
whimpers,
could never tell when I was hurt and when... pleasured. Well, he never
really
tried, that's right, too.
Skinner gets under the blanket on the other side; I feel his torso
pressing
close to me.
They can't be so insane as to fuck me up the ass. No. Really, I might
be
unsure of other things but this. If they want something else, well, I
won't
die from that.
So, I stop whimpering.
***
MULDER
I didn't intend to go further than a kiss, but it seems Alex needs some
reassurance.
He is playing the innocent virgin and I can't help but be turned on by
that.
I know it's more tiredness and pain, but I
want him to know I will - we will be thinking about him when we're in
DC.
My mouth trails down to his ear and I nibble while one of Walter's
hands
is caressing his abdomen gently as he licks Alex's neck.
Alex is about to say something, but Walter turns Alex's head to him and
covers
Alex's mouth with his.
***
SKINNER
Mulder has pulled off the hospital gown that Scully had put on Alex and
I
get a wonderful view of his back and sweet ass. Mulder's mouth is
trailing
down Alex's neck to his collarbone. While I bite small
nips and licks down Alex's smooth back.
Alex has been on his side so he won't put pressure on his butt. Scully
said
it would help him heal faster. My left hand is caressing his hip as my
tongue
and teeth tease his skin.
***
MULDER
Alex may not respond much to my nipple play but I just love to turn
those
beauties into hard, wet points. I love his sexy panting from Walter and
my
ministrations. His hands are in my hair, as I tease him mercilessly
with
my lips and tongue.
***
ALEX
I'm still breathless from what they did to my neck. Goddamn bastards,
licking
from both back and front. They know how horny it makes me just from one
side.
Mulder is sucking on my nipples, looking blissful. He must be drinking
my
juice; I guess that's what would most likely cause that half naughty,
half
ecstatic expression.
It feels safe to have Walter, not Mulder close to my bare ass, the most
vulnerable
place... and it's all fine until Walter moves back up to my neck, and I
feel
his hard dick pressed right to my butt.
Involuntarily, I flinch. "Walt, I... I... please," escapes before the
thought
has even really taken shape in my brain.
"Don't, baby. I'd never hurt you." I hear close to my ear. "This is not
even
about us wanting something from you."
I'm sure in this moment he raises his eyes and looks at Mulder as if
he'd
wanted to kick some sense into him.
"This is about you, Alex. We want to make you feel good. Just lie back
and
enjoy, baby; this is the least we can do for you, after what you..."
does
it just seem to me that his throat is closing or is it
really? "...have done for us."
And that mouth lands on my neck. And I moan again.
I find myself sandwiched between two hot bodies, caressing me, licking
me
and teasing me. It's almost like I have two sex slaves, my own,
pleasing
me. Their hands are everywhere... almost everywhere,
and it's amazing how well they know my body, all the spots which get me
going.
I feel... not lost, not any more.
Skinner whispers endearments in my ear. His hands are caressing my
belly
and my shoulders, sliding down there occasionally and playing with my
balls,
his teeth digging into my burning flesh. Mulder's cock is pressed to
mine,
and we are rubbing them together; his tongue thrusts deep into my
mouth.
I wrap my hand around our cocks. Gasp, when he slaps my thigh lightly.
Groan,
when he pulls back my foreskin and does the same to the tip of my cock.
They drive me further and further.
My head is spinning around.
My arms get pinned down behind my back by a strong hand ... rhythmical,
light
slaps land on my thighs, wet tongue and teeth tease my neck
mercilessly...
I moan and beg for more.
Somebody grabs my rigid cock and a hot, wet mouth surrounds me.
The torture of my neck goes on, driving me crazy; I start thrusting my
cock
down the man's throat, seeking my release.
***
SKINNER
I move down, away from his neck, which is wet and marked from my and
Mulder's
attentions. I bite on his shoulder and then down to his elbow where he
gasps
from my teeth teasing the sensitive flesh there.
My hand is on his hip, where he is trying to thrust up into Mulder's
hot
mouth, but I won't let him. I don't want any of the sutures to come
lose.
I'm sure there will be marks there on his alabaster hip
tomorrow.
My mouth trails down to nip at his quivering hip then I bite one round
buttock
and he cries out, half in pain and half in delight. He stiffens and I
hear
Mulder swallowing him down.
When I pull away to see my handiwork, I grin with glee at the mark I
left
on him. He is all mine and there is my mark to prove it. Forensics
could
easily spot who he belongs to with the mark I left on
that sweet ass.
Mulder is cleaning him up completely and Alex is thoroughly out of it.
I move away and Mulder does as soon as he is finished. He pulls the
sheet
over Alex's passed out form then he smiles at me. I pull him to me to
taste
Alex in his mouth. Mulder tastes amazing mixed with
Alex's flavor.
We quietly move out of the room to take care of our own needs. I think
now
is a good time to depart. I hate to be Scully when he wakes up.
Chapter 9