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Little White Lies
by Margui
LITTLE WHITE LIES
Iolaus and Hercules came into the small village dusty and hungry. The two had battled what seemed to be their fifth warlord in as many days. The last battle had Iolaus careening into a dry creek bed as he fought the warlord's sergeant-at-arms.
With the fight behind them, the heroes wanted nothing more than a hot meal, a hot bath and a warm bed. The Screaming Hydra tavern and inn would provide them the respite that they so desired.
After they checked into their modest accommodations, Iolaus contemplated whether he needed a bath or food first. As his stomach rumbled in a less than quiet protest, Iolaus decided to eat first.
The tavern, the only eatery in this small village was divided into two sections; a tavern that was visited by habitual drunks and questionable women, and a "family style' restaurant that was brighter and far less seedy than the darker tavern.
Iolaus and Hercules were escorted to a table just inside the restaurant space. A red curtain hung behind Iolaus and separated the two spaces.
The two men quickly ordered two racks of boars' ribs and waited patiently for their order. As they waited, their camaraderie turned to friendly conversation.
"Hey Herc," Iolaus began. How do you catch a unique rabbit?" Iolaus asked.
Hercules took a sip of his drink. "I don't know, Iolaus. How do you catch a unique rabbit?"
"U-nique up on him," he laughed. "How do you catch a regular rabbit?"
Hercules rolled his eyes in anticipation and asked, "I don't know Iolaus, why don't you tell me?"
"Same way. U-nique up on him."
Iolaus could barely contain his exuberant laughter when a young man dressed in brown approached the two heroes.
"Are you Iolaus?" he asked.
Iolaus looked up and looked at the man. The smile on his face immediately disappeared. "Who wants to know?" he asked as he scrutinized the man.
"The name's Eupeus. This is for you," he said as he presented Iolaus with a scroll. Then he produced another scroll. "Sign here, to verify receipt of the scroll," he requested.
"Boy, these delivery companies are getting picky," Iolaus said as he signed his name where indicated and passed the scroll back to him. Iolaus watched the messenger leave. "Remember the good old days when they just delivered messages."
"That's progress," Hercules answered with a shrug.
"What is it," he then asked as Iolaus unrolled the scroll. The smaller man took the time to read the parchment as Hercules waited patiently for an answer.
"It's an invitation to a wedding. You remember me talking about Anticlea, don't you? Wow! She's getting married," Iolaus answered as he rolled the scroll back up. "The wedding`s just a couple of days away, in Ionia. You want to go?"
Anticlea had known Iolaus since she was three and affectionately called him Uncle Iolaus. She had long waited to meet the legendary Hercules, and they were supposed to meet at the festival of Demeter until Hercules was called away.
Suddenly a knot of consternation crossed Iolaus` brow.
"What's wrong?" Hercules asked.
Iolaus mumbled to himself, not really loud enough for Hercules to hear, "I wonder if Autolycus knows."
Hercules heard. "What about Autolycus?"
"Huh? What?" Iolaus stammered.
"What about Autolycus?"
"Oh, nothing. Just thinking out loud, I guess."
"Uh, huh," Hercules nodded in agreement. "You don't think Autolycus would try to crash the wedding, do you?"
That was exactly what Iolaus thought, but for far different reasons than Hercules. The King of Thieves had been known to crash a wedding or two in his day. Once, he even went so far as having a local dancer impersonate a princess in order to get a chance at stealing the Antioch Sapphire. No, Autolycus was not above crashing a wedding party, but in this instance it would not be to steal the royal gems.
Iolaus had learned a secret from Autolycus that he was reluctant to tell even to his best friend and partner. On a fateful trip to rescue Anticlea from kidnappers, Autolycus revealed to Iolaus that the young princess was actually his daughter.
The thief had kept the secret to himself for sixteen years, until concern and worry over his daughter drove the confession out of him.
Anticlea grew up believing the King of Ionia, Barchan, was her father and in the King of Thieves own selfless way, he let Anticlea go on believing it.
"Iolaus?" Hercules questioned, bringing the blonde warrior out of his reverie. "Do you think Autolycus is going to try something?"
"I don't know," Iolaus said honestly, "but I think we should go."
"Alright," Hercules nodded as Iolaus slid the invitation into his backpack and then placed the backpack on the floor. "We'll leave tomorrow."
The conversation stopped as the rack of boar's ribs arrived at the table. Iolaus grabbed a meaty rib from the plate and their friendly conversation began in earnest again.
Behind the red curtain, a skillful hand reached underneath the veil to retrieve the invitation scroll. Blindly feeling his way toward the backpack, the muscular hand reached in and stealth fully grabbed the parchment.
Autolycus had been sitting quietly behind the curtain listening to the two friend's banter. He wasn't terribly interested in most of their pointless and succoring conversation until Iolaus received the scroll.
Autolycus was in the middle of sipping his dark ale when Iolaus began reading from the scroll. The thief spewed all of the ale from his mouth onto the waitress when he had heard the news.
The waitress was less than happy with the thief's spit take, as most of the ale ended up on her skirt.
The thief tried to apologize at the same time as he strained his ears to listen to the rest of the conversation.
As Iolaus tucked the scroll into his backpack, he commented to Hercules that the wedding was by invitation only. Although Autolycus developed a tenuous relationship with his daughter during her kidnapping, he was sure he would not be receiving an invitation.
Trying to drown his thoughts in another ale, the idea that he wouldn't be there for Anticlea's wedding continued to prey on his mind. He had missed so much during her lifetime; her birth, her first tooth, her first step, numerous birthdays, her first date and her first kiss. Autolycus shuttered to think of other first he might have missed. He didn't want to miss this event too.
So Autolycus, being a master thief, did what came naturally to him. He stole the scroll from Iolaus' backpack.
With his appetite satiated, Iolaus was ready for his hot bath and warm bead. The bathhouse was several buildings away, so Iolaus decided to drop off his knapsack in his room and walk to the bathhouse.
Hercules was the first to get up and he waited for Iolaus, who was more or less shoved in the corner.
Iolaus picked up his backpack and quickly realized the invitation was gone. "Where's the scroll?" Iolaus questioned.
"Maybe you dropped it," Hercules answered.
The blonde warrior hunkered under the table to do a cursory search. Looking toward the drape, he could see the ebb and flow of the curtain as someone moved on the other side.
He saw a boot step onto the hard, wooden floor. The black boot had a distinctive, low-slung cuff.
Iolaus lifted the drape up and peered underneath it as the man began to move off.
As the man traveled hastily toward the exit, Iolaus could see the boots gave rise to a pair of snug, black leather pants, that gave rise to a green, familiar tunic.
Iolaus popped his head up from the curtain and announced, "Or it was stolen."
"Stolen?" Hercules questioned, "Autolycus?"
Iolaus struggled with his thoughts. Knowing the thief's secret, he understood why Autolycus would want to be at his daughter's wedding, but he still didn't trust the thief to make the right judgment calls. He feared the more exposure to Anticlea that Autolycus may have, would only increase the likelihood of him spilling the beans.
"He's heading out the back," Iolaus announced, but was hesitant to move.
Hercules was quick to respond to the thief's escape but Iolaus held him back with a firm grip to his upper arm.
"Let him go," Iolaus said trying to sound unconcerned.
Hercules swung his head to gaze at his partner.
"Okay, what's going on?" he asked, "Autolycus just stole something from you and you're willing to let him get away with it?"
Iolaus bristled at the comment. "I didn't say he was going to get away with it," he defended. "Besides, I'm sure we can still go to the wedding without the scroll. I'm her Uncle Iolaus, after all," he said laying a pride-filled hand on his chest, "and I want to see just what Autolycus plans to do with the invitation."
Iolaus couldn't lie to Hercules. He suspected the real reason Autolycus had stolen the invitation, but he didn't know for sure. And even with the thief's noble intentions, there was bound to be trouble. With Autolycus involved, there was always bound to be trouble.
"Alright. Fine. We'll do it your way," Hercules answered, suspicion growing in his mind. Iolaus had never passed up an opportunity to chase Autolycus if he felt the thief was up to no good. He wondered what made this incident so different.
Autolycus arrived in Ionia the next afternoon. The gates to the fortress were richly decorated with flags of yellow and maroon. Grapevine and ribbons of the same hue as the flags decorated the stone arch that led into fortress. Cuttings from a fragrant jasmine bush intertwined with the grapevine and colorful ribbons.
Autolycus had remembered that the sweetly scented flower was Anticlea's mother, Amphithea's favorite. He wondered, and finally decided it must also be Anticlea's favorite, as he plucked a flower and drank in the smell.
Suspicious by nature, Autolycus looked around for any familiar face that could finger him as The King of Thieves. Confident that he had left both Iolaus and Hercules far behind, and finding no recognizable faces, Autolycus passed through the opening and into the walled fortress.
"Well, you've done it now, Autolycus," the thief said as he entered. If impersonating Iolaus wasn't humiliating enough, he knew the expansive walls could easily be exchanged for others much tighter across if he were caught impersonating the short blonde.
"Invitation, please?" the burly guard requested.
"Oh, yeah, right," Autolycus answered as he snapped his fingers in thoughtful repose. He then dug into his green tunic and pulled out the invitation.
He strummed it lightly and anxiously before he gave it to the guard.
The guard unrolled the scroll and then checked it against another parchment.
"Iolaus," the guard said.
"Where?" Autolycus answered, nervously looking around.
The guard gave a quizzical look and then responded, "You are Iolaus, aren't you?"
Autolycus patted his tunic, in part out of nervous habit and in part to wipe his sweaty palms. "Ho, ho, ho," he laughed hardily. "Of course I am. Just a bit of Herculean humor there." He punched the guard lightly on the arm.
Knowing that Iolaus and Hercules would soon catch up with the thief, Autolycus bought what he hoped would be a little insurance. He whispered conspiratorially in the guard's ear. "Look, I hear there's a little blonde thief impersonating me. Very dangerous. He might be heading this way. He even managed to dig up a behemoth, pretty boy to pose as my partner, Hercules."
The guard looked skeptically at the thief and then handed Autolycus two more scrolls. "The princess has requested that you stay in the castle. There is a map to the guest facilities. The rehearsal dinner will be at sundown in the main dining room."
"Yeah, thanks," Autolycus said absently as he began to unroll the parchment and walk toward the formidable castle. Unrolling the scroll, Autolycus noticed a large "X", and underneath it the words were scrawled, "You are here." Autolycus decided the smaller "X" must have been his guest quarters.
"Well, Iolaus," Autolycus said out loud, but to himself, "let's see how you really rank in the eyes of my daughter."
He followed the map into the castle.
Autolycus had managed to sneak his way up to the second floor landing when he stopped cold. Feta, was coming down the long hallway right toward the thief.
The thief remembered the cook from the days when he was courting Amphithea. The thief and the beautiful daughter to the magistrate would often meet on top of the acropolis in a tiny mortared building. It was once a guard`s station, but for Autolycus and Amphithea, it served only as a lover`s retreat, until that fateful day.
The morning sun streamed through the window of the tiny guardhouse. Amphithea rose from the tangled, silk sheets as she took the thief's mouth to hers. He rose slightly in response to the kiss but sank into the bed when her long, raven hair tickled his chest as she began a slow, downward trek with her soft ministrations.
Autolycus sighed and reached up to pet her silken hair. "It used to be easy being a thief," he said aloud as he absently addressed his lover. The adrenaline rush he got from stealing almost matched the palpitations he felt every time he was with Amphithea. He couldn't begin to count the number of times he had thought about giving up his burgeoning albeit unlawful career for the beautiful woman. But somehow, the thought of being a King among thieves kept him from committing his heart to Amphithea.
The young woman, no more than sixteen years old looked up and smiled at him. "You could be a pauper, I`d still love you," she answered, her dark eyes not betraying the love she had for the thief. After teasing her willful lover for a few minutes, Amphithea got up and wrapped the silken linen around her curvaceous figure. Autolycus followed her up and wrapped his skillful hands around her waist. She looked plaintively out the window and watched, as Feta was moments from discovering them there.
"Hide Autolycus, it's Feta," Amphithea pleaded in a whisper as her eyes focused on the wooden doorknob turning the unlocked door. There wasn't time. Feta walked through the door, as the naked thief tried valiantly to find a place to hide.
Every spring Feta, who served as the castle's cook, would come up to the acropolis to dig up wild carrots that grew just outside the mortared structure. As the cook traveled up the steep incline, she saw some movement in the abandoned structure and decided to investigate. Shovel in hand, Feta walked through the door to find her charge, Amphithea with Autolycus.
"Amphithea!" Feta exclaimed. There was no doubt what she had interrupted. Autolycus backed up and Feta began her offensive. She swung at the thief with the shovel.
"Get out! Get out you dad blasted thief," she cried. Autolycus had no time to put on his pants and tunic, so the thief, in fear of bodily harm quickly grabbed his clothes.
Feta smacked the thief's bare rear end with the shovel to urge him on and warned. "If I ever see your pasty backside here again, I swear, there'll be Tartarus to pay!"
Autolycus ran out of the guard's house exchanging a withered look with Amphithea before he left.
He had found out several weeks later that Amphithea had begged Feta not to tell her father of their tryst.
The thief had a real fear that Feta would recognize him, so he quickly grabbed a vase with white, fresh cut flowers that had been sitting next to the landing on a column with a scrolled capital. He brought the flowers up to his shoulder and began walking down the corridor.
His face safely hidden from the cook, Autolycus greeted her with a raspy, "Good Afternoon," as he continued down the hall.
Feta replied with an equally pleasant "Good Afternoon," but then turned as Autolycus walked by.
She looked at the thief's profile as he walked with grace and confidence. "Hmmmm," she mumbled to herself, "he looks vaguely familiar," she answered as she continued on her way.
Anticlea entered her father's bedchamber with trepidation. The King of Ionia had taken ill shortly after the engagement festivities began.
Barchan put on a brave front, and continued to entertain the King and Queen of Ithaca and his two sons, the groom-to-be, Lucianus and his twin brother Laertus. But as soon as his hosting duties were up, King Barchan would retire to his room, gripping his stomach in pain.
Anticlea had selfishly offered several times to postpone the wedding, but much to his daughter's dismay, Barchan wouldn't hear of it.
Like most royal marriages of the day, the marriage between Lucianus and Anticlea had been arranged years in advance. The union of the two lands, especially for the smaller Ionia, would bring about increased wealth and prosperity.
Anticlea had known about the dictated marriage since she was twelve, but she had hoped that the passage of time would dissuade her father from the unwise and unwanted marriage. The King and the Princess never talked about the arranged union, and the absence of discussion had made Anticlea think that her father may have changed his mind, until the day the wedding date was announced. Now, she had precious little time to find a way out of what she considered a dumb, archaic tradition.
The two brothers, although twins, were very unalike in disposition. The oldest, and heir to the throne, Lucianus was ambitious, mean-spirited and intense. An accident as a child left his face scarred and his heart embittered. Laertus was friendly, good-natured and passionate. Anticlea found herself drawn to the natural exuberance of Laertus.
"How are you feeling, daddy?" Anticlea asked as she planted a kiss on her father's cheek. "Your color is returning."
Still weak, the King of Ionia struggled toward the chair. Anticlea lovingly grabbed his upper arm and guided him to the chair, letting him use her strength as support. "I'm feeling better, pumpkin," Barchan answered. He had not eaten in two days, "but very sad to be giving my daughter away."
"Father," Anticlea began as she knelt down on the ground. She was about to make the same argument she had made a dozen times before. "Why don't we postpone the ceremony? I'm sure Lucianus will understand."
"We can't Clea," Barchan began. "I have already insulted the King and Queen of Ithaca by not eating their celebratory feast for two days straight. If we don't go through with this wedding, it could be perceived as a breach of faith."
"Barchan patted his daughter's hand, "If I didn't know better, I'd say you didn't want to marry the son of King Arcesius."
Anticlea bowed her head as she let the tears tumble from her eyes. Blinking twice to clear the tears away, she lifted her head up and announced, "It's not that I don't want to marry King Arcesius' son. It's that I don't want to marry Lucianus."
"I've made you too much of a daddy's girl," Barchan lamented as he pressed Anticlea to lay her head on his lap. He stroked her hair lightly and prayed that her marriage would not be as ill favored as his was to her mother.
There was a tentative knock on Barchan's bedchamber door.
"Come in," Barchan announced as Anticlea lifted her head from his lap.
"I'm sorry to disturb you, my King, but Princess Anticlea wanted to know if Iolaus checked in."
At the sound of her friend's name, Anticlea jumped to her feet. Her fabricated smile brightened to one of genuine fondness.
She had sent her best runner to deliver the invitation to Iolaus, and had almost given up hope that he would make it in time.
"Daddy? Do you want to come?" she asked.
Barchan patted her hand once more. "No, my pumpkin. You go ahead. I will rest up for the evening festivities. Give Iolaus my regards."
Anticlea bent down and gave her father another hurried kiss, and then sprinted down the hall to the room she had picked out for her "Uncle" Iolaus.
Autolycus walked through the door and stood in avaricious wonder. The room was gilt in gold: the canopy bed gilt in gold, the console table gilt in gold, etchings for the far east were crafted out of gold leaf. It looked as if Midas had stayed in that very room.
"Wow! Talk about your royal treatment," Autolycus announced affirmatively and then walked carefully into the room. His natural inclination would be to pocket anything not nailed down, so he had to constantly remind himself whom he would be stealing from as he fingered every little trinket in the room.
He laid his knapsack on the bed and began to immediately unpack it. In his haste to get to Ionia, Autolycus never really thought of the consequences of Anticlea's reaction when she found out he was there, much less how he got there.
With a pang of guilt, Autolycus thought about leaving before his chicanery was discovered. He began repacking his belongings. In his haste to repack, the thief's grappling hook fell off the bed and crashed into the gold leafed side table. A chunk of gold broke off of the table.
Autolycus bent down to pick it up. Trying to fit into the cramped corner, the thief's hind end rose above the rest of his body to fit into the tight space.
Seeing how fragile the furniture was, the thief absently scratched the side of the table with the tine of his grapple to see how easy it was to flake off. He wondered if anyone would even know should he scrape off some of the precious metal for himself.
He was busy experimenting when Anticlea burst in.
"Uncle Iolaus! You made it," Anticlea exclaimed. At that moment, Autolycus was very happy his face and upper body was concealed between the bed and the side table, especially being caught in a somewhat compromising position by his daughter, not to mention stealing from her.
"What are you doing?" Anticlea asked as she proceeded farther into the room.
Autolycus mumbled something unintelligible.
"Huh?" Anticlea asked, "Come on. Get up and let me give you a hug," she encouraged.
Autolycus shimmied himself slowly out of the corner, stood up and turned facing Anticlea. "Well if you insist," he answered; his arms were outstretched for the hug he knew wasn`t going to come. "Surprise?" he redirected when he saw the scowl on his daughters face.
"How'd you get here?" Anticlea asked perturbed.
"I walked," Autolycus answered.
"But you didn't get an invitation."
"Ah yes. I'm sure that not inviting me to your wedding was just an unfortunate oversight, so I borrowed this," Autolycus said as he pulled out the scrolled invitation.
Anticlea walked up to Autolycus and grabbed the parchment from his hand. She briefly scanned the invitation, thinking it a forgery. "I can't believe you! You stole this from Iolaus."
"And your point? I am the King of Thieves."
"I can't believe you stole Iolaus' invitation from him. Iolaus' invitation," she harangued again.
"Not to worry," Autolycus said as he nonchalantly examined his fingernails. "I'm sure the blonde runt and his holier than thou partner will be along soon. If for nothing else than to claim what was pilfered from him."
Anticlea was slapping the scroll against her hand, deciding what to do with the thief.
"Your not going to throw me out, are you?" Autolycus asked trying his best to put on the charm.
Anticlea let out a brief sigh. The fact that she was marrying someone she didn`t love did not make her marriage a particularly special occasion. Having the thief attend was certainly not going to spoil the event. "Fine..." she began, "since you're already here, I guess you could stay," she conceded, "but you'll apologize to Iolaus when he gets here."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Autolycus said as he waved her off. His daughter's face continued its scowl. "Oh, alright." Autolycus answered. It was his turn to concede.
Autolycus made an exaggerated yawn. "Now, if you don't mind, I think I'll take a nice nap before the festivities..." He plopped on the bed and fell into a staged, if not relaxed position.
His relaxed mood did not last long. Anticlea, still angry with him for stealing the invitation meant for Iolaus, forced Autolycus to rise by pulling on his ear.
"Oh, no you don't. Not here. This is Iolaus' room," Anticlea said.
Autolycus tried to slap her hand away from his ear, but through the searing pain, the thief could only slap at the open air.
Autolycus, fearing she would pull the appendage off with her tight grip, reluctantly followed her out of the room.
Anticlea dropped her grip from his ear when the exited the room. "I have the perfect room for you, Autolycus. Just suited for the King of Thieves."
"Boy, who taught you how to make friends," Autolycus asked rubbing his ear, "It's not the dungeon is it?"
"Of course not." Anticlea answered as she began to walk, "That would be barbaric. Besides, we don't have a dungeon."
She looked back toward the thief, "Well come on," she beckoned, "If you want to stay then follow me."
Iolaus and Hercules headed toward Ionia shortly after they had witnessed Autolycus flee from the restaurant. At best, the men were a good one-hour behind the thief. They arrived in Ionia in the late afternoon.
With Iolaus' natural charm and good humor, he confidently approached the burly guard.
"Invitation," the guard requested.
"See, that's just the thing," Iolaus answered as he smiled broadly.
"You can't get in without an invitation," the guard chastised in boredom.
"Well, you see. We had it. And then it was stolen from us."
"Uh-huh, sure," the guard skeptically mocked.
"Name?" he asked. The guard decided to play along with the game.
"Iolaus."
The burly man looked up and scrutinized the two men in front of him.
He pointed to the large man that flanked the smaller man's side. "And I suppose you're Hercules?"
"That would be me," Hercules answered.
The guard then waved his finger in spirited animation. "I know about you two," he answered enthusiastically as he beckoned for two more guards that were standing outside the perimeter.
Autolycus began following Anticlea. He was relieved when they began moving up toward the tower of the castle and not down, where the dungeon would normally be located.
"So Barchan's little girl is getting married," Autolycus said wanting desperately to substitute his name instead of Barchan's.
"Yeah," Anticlea said with derision. "Why did you even want to come to this stupid, arranged marriage anyway?" Anticlea asked as she continued to lead the way.
"You don't want to get married?" The thief' asked his forehead knotted in consternation. Every girl in love wanted to get married. Then Autolycus thought back to Amphithea`s quick marriage. "It's not because you're um....you know...." he moved his hands over his stomach to indicate a pregnancy. "...are you?"
"Of course not." Anticlea said with an abhorrent shudder. "Not that it's any of your business."
Autolycus sighed silently in relief.
The young princess turned around and asked Autolycus in earnest, "Would you let your daughter marry someone she didn't love, much less like?"
Autolycus felt a pang of remorse as Anticlea so casually mentioned his daughter. In a fit of stupidity, Autolycus had confessed to Anticlea that he had a daughter. Part of him had hoped she would understand the dilemma of his preoccupation with her. When she didn't recognize his veiled clues, he thought better of his impulse and quickly sidestepped the conversation, just as he was about to do again.
"Lucianus is a pompous ass," Anticlea said then pointed a finger at Autolycus, "You'd like him."
Autolycus took offense. "Would not." Then he interjected, "I suppose you'd go for that Iolaus wannabe, Laertus."
Anticlea squinted her eyes in consternation. Autolycus could see a hint of her mother in the gesture. Her voice was defensive.
"How do you know about Laertus?"
"Um...I'd rather not answer that if it's all the same to you. There...um...could be consequences."
"You broke into their castle, didn't you?"
"I didn't break into it. It was pure negligence on the guard's part."
Anticlea shook her head in dismay as they reached the end of the corridor.
"Well, here we are," she announced as she opened the door. As the door opened, the iron bars to three cells could be seen.
"Iolaus!" Anticlea exclaimed as she recognized one of the two prisoners in the center cell.
"Great, just great!" Autolycus said focusing on the cells inside the room and not the two men inside the cells. "You tricked me," he accused of Anticlea. He was both angry and proud that he was so easily bamboozled by his daughter. He quickly turned away to make an undue exit but his path was blocked by two muscular guards.
Iolaus saw Autolycus behind Anticlea. He jumped up from the back of the cell and sprang to the front. His arms reached between the bars of the cell, flailing toward the thief.
"Let me at him," Iolaus said in anger as Hercules tried to pull him away from the bars.
Autolycus flinched in fear.
"What happened?" Anticlea asked Iolaus and Hercules.
"I was arrested for impersonating Iolaus. I mean me." He turned to his best friend in frustrated anger. "Hercules, you tell her," and then he lunged for the bars again, "Let me at him."
"It seems that Autolycus lied about who he was then wove a story so that we would be turned away from your wedding as imposters," Hercules explained. "And I'd like to know why, Autolycus."
Anticlea looked toward Autolycus, who tried to play the accusation off as innocently as he could. To spite his best effort, Anticlea still recognized the guilt-written look on his face.
"Macias, let them out," she commanded. "They are who they say they are." Then she turned to Autolycus. Her eyes narrowed in distain. "There's only one imposter here." Anticlea pointed to the thief. "Lock him up."
As one guard left to release Iolaus and Hercules from the cell, two other guards grabbed Autolycus by the arms. The thief struggled against the tight grip.
"Ah, come on," Autolycus said as he resisted against the guards forward push. He passed by Anticlea who had a self-satisfying smirk on her face.
"Anticlea," Autolycus protested, "This isn't fair. Come on. Nobody got hurt." He looked toward Iolaus. "Shorty's still, um...short and Hercules is still his old sanctimonious self."
Just inches from the cell, Autolycus turned his head back and pleaded. "Come on, Clea. You can't do this. I'm your fa..."
"...favorite King of Thieves," Iolaus interrupted and then in a voice that bespoke resignation, pleaded to the princess. "Go ahead. Let him go. No real harm came to either of us."
Hercules stared at Iolaus in disbelief. Yes, definitely something was up between the two of them and the demigod was determined to find out what it was.
"Personally, I would like to see him stew in his own juices for awhile." Anticlea pronounced. She waved her hand toward the guards in an unspoken message to continue. Iolaus heard the click of the cell close behind him.
"He'll only escape," Hercules answered.
"That's right," Iolaus chimed in, "he'll escape and then you'd have a loose convict running around, causing trouble, probably stealing from your guests." Iolaus gave Autolycus a steely glance. "You don't want that during your marriage celebrations, do you?"
Hercules stepped up to Anticlea and gently captured her shoulders in his hands. He gave her a friendly kiss on the cheek. "Yes, congratulations," he greeted.
"Thanks," Anticlea said with all the enthusiasm she felt in her heart, which was pretty much none.
"So you're the famous Hercules?" she said avoiding the unpleasant subject and engaging the demigod into a friendly conversation. "I've heard a lot about you."
"I've heard a lot about you, too. Iolaus talks about you all the time." Hercules answered.
Autolycus mouthed in derision, "Iolaus talks about you all the time," as he pulled out his long arm from the cell and grabbed Iolaus' vest, pulling the shorter man toward him.
"She doesn't want to marry Lucianus," Autolycus whispered. "She says she doesn't love him."
"Okay," Iolaus answered in an equally hushed voice, not sure why Autolycus was volunteering the information. Arranged marriages were common in royalty, although Iolaus was somewhat surprised that as protective as King Barchan was toward his daughter, that he would allow her to marry someone she didn`t love. "What do you want me to do about it?"
"Help me stop the wedding." Autolycus answered.
"How?"
"I don't know how!" the thief stated his voice rising significantly above a whisper.
The friendly conversation that had started up between Hercules and Anticlea suddenly stopped. Both Anticlea and Hercules turned around and faced the two conspirators whispering by the cell.
"Are we disturbing something?" Hercules asked.
"Anticlea, come on." Autolycus pronounced again. He tried valiantly to put on his saddest and most contrite face.
Anticlea couldn't resist the sad look. "Oh, all right," Anticlea conceded deciding that keeping the thief in jail may end up being more trouble than he was worth. "Let him out, will you?" she commanded the guards.
She looked toward Iolaus. "Fine. He can have the room next to yours."
Anticlea walked over to the blonde hunter and gave him a fierce hug. Iolaus returned the embrace. "Just keep him out of my sight."
She gave Autolycus a warning glance before she left the room.
%%%%%%%%%%%%
"Okay, you`ve made your point. I get it. Anticlea doesn`t want me near her, and you don`t want me near her," Autolycus whined as he looked out the window, "Now, will you just let me go?"
"What do you think, Hercules?" Iolaus asked as he watched Autolycus stare out the window. He wondered what the thief was thinking.
"I think it's curious that you haven't asked Autolycus why he's here."
Iolaus snorted derisively, but he didn't answer his partner. Once the trio had been released from the bastille, Hercules and Iolaus decided to keep a close eye on the thief. They didn't allow him to go to his room, but instead kept him a reluctant guest of their own.
Autolycus continued to look out the window. The view from their window stretched across the horizon and toward the acropolis. He watched as Anticlea left the confines of the castle through the kitchen exit and proceeded toward the guardhouse at a hurried pace.
From his vantage point, he could see the young woman look back as if to make sure she had not been spotted.
Autolycus admitted to himself that he had made a mess of things. He had nothing but regrets since Amphithea announced she was pregnant so many years ago. He had refused to marry her, because at the time, he thought he was doing what was best for Amphithea and her unborn child.
The thief spent the next two years honing his craft. He was making a reputation for himself, but he was miserable. He was bitter and obnoxious, not a pleasant combination. The thief remembered the time he had become reacquainted with his other self; the time he had stolen the Chronos Stone from Quallis' museum. He could barely stand himself and then he realized; the timing wasn't long after he had made that fateful decision.
Autolycus had mellowed over time, and even found a way to live with his decision to give up the woman he loved and the daughter she was carrying.
Autolycus began secretly sending Anticlea gifts and mementos when she was about three. Not content to leave it at that, the thief traveled to Ionia once a year to spy on his daughter. Now that she was getting married, the opportunity to get to know his daughter was quickly fading into oblivion. She wanted to have nothing to do with him.
Autolycus needed a chance to win Anticlea over again. With her alone in the guardhouse, he thought he'd have that chance. The thief could be charming when he put some effort to it. But first, he had to get away from his wardens.
"Where is the little Prince's room around this joint?" Autolycus asked slightly bobbing on his heels as if he was in distress.
"The what?" Iolaus turned and asked.
"The little Prince's room?" he repeated, receiving blank stares from both Iolaus and Hercules.
"So much for delicate euphemisms." Autolycus thought and then said aloud, prompting the two men to understand, "You know, the throne room, the water closet, the outhouse? Unless you want me to use a chamber pot here?" He increased the urgency of his step. "Better make your decision quick."
"Herc, we've got to trust him sometime," Iolaus pleaded.
"Fine," Hercules acquiesced.
With the urgency of the thief's spurious wiggling, Iolaus answered, "It's down the hall, last door on the left. Sheesh, couldn`t you have told us sooner?"
Hercules opened the door to usher the thief out, but watched suspiciously as Autolycus moved down the hall.
"Works every time," Autolycus smiled maliciously to himself as he continued to hurry toward the lavatory, unlacing his pants for effect as he went.
Autolycus surmised that his two wardens would not allow him much privacy to complete his business. Due to the fact that his business required him to leave the castle walls, he immediately checked the hallway and then made his escape as quickly as possible.
He wasn't sure if Iolaus and Hercules would conduct a search for him when they found him missing, but he didn't want to take any chances. He carefully wove his way through as many scarcely populated corridors as he could. He was also aware that Iolaus' room had a perfect view of the path to the guardhouse, so Autolycus decided to circumvent his way to what used to be his and Amphithea's lovers retreat.
Autolycus knew the woods around the castle well, and the path he had warn between the woods and the acropolis could still be seen through almost twenty years of undergrowth.
Using the woods as a shield from view, the thief trekked around Iolaus' lookout and came up from the other side of the acropolis. The detour had delayed Autolycus from reaching the guardhouse. He hoped he had not missed Anticlea.
Autolycus tried the door. It was unlocked. He had thought twice about his rash decision to win his daughter over, and even thought about cutting his losses and leaving Ionia. But instead of running, Autolycus took a deep breath to calm his fears, opened the door and hurried in before the fear consumed him.
"Anticlea, I..." he began. He stopped and turned around, shielding his eyes in the process.
It had seemed that Autolycus and his daughter had more in common than he had originally thought. Anticlea had chosen his former retreat as her own, and Autolycus had just caught her in a lover's tryst. The two lovers quickly disengaged themselves when the thief burst into the room.
Autolycus was flustered. He had expected to find Anticlea in the guard house, but not in the middle of the throes of passion; naked, resting on a man's lap, her legs and arms wrapped around his naked body in a sensual embrace, exchanging a variety of bodily fluids.
"I'm sorry, Anticlea," Autolycus said still turned and shielding his eyes from her visage, "This was a mistake. I'm leaving now."
The image of Anticlea would be burned in his brain forever, and that was from only a second's glance. He wanted but couldn't forget the fact that his daughter was in the same bed that Autolycus and Amphithea had shared in very much the same way; the same bed that created her.
Embarrassed and avoiding the sight of her, Autolycus took a cursory look around the room. It still looked pretty much the same as he remembered. Nothing much had changed. Not even the look of two lovers caught in the act.
"Get out! Get out, you thief!" Anticlea screamed as she scrambled out of the bed and wrapped the sheet hastily around her chest, almost falling in her haste. "Why are you stalking me?"
Her companion quickly pulled on his pants as he stared at the thief with acrimony.
"I wasn't stalking you. I just wanted to talk with you, okay? But I can see this is a bad time, so I`m going now." Autolycus answered holding his arms out in front of him as if pushing the image away. He turned toward the door.
"Good riddance," Laertus announced as an afterthought as he hastily laced up his pants.
"No, wait. Laertus, don't let him leave. He'll tell my father."
The pitiful look in the eyes of his lover spurred Laertus to move. He sprung over the bed and rushed with bravado to keep the thief from escaping. Laertus was compact and muscular. His dark features looked menacing as his eyes moved from Autolycus to Anticlea.
Autolycus returned his acrimonious glare.
"Autolycus, please?" Anticlea pleaded from behind him.
The thief turned around. His daughter's dark eyes were beseeching him, trying to find some way to reach him. She didn't want him to tell her father of her tryst. She didn't want to disappoint him.
Autolycus couldn't help but notice how vulnerable she looked wrapped up in the tangled linen.
"Don't tell my father you found me here. It will ruin everything," she pleaded.
Autolycus was dumbstruck. He wouldn't be telling Barchan anything. He could barely believe Anticlea was cavorting with the brother of the one she was promised to. He could well imagine Barchan's reaction.
"I'll give you anything," Anticlea announced trying to make a bargain with him. She began struggling to slip off a ring that had adorned her right ring finger. She pulled on it until it finally came loose. It was a small but perfect emerald. Autolycus recognized the ring. He had sent it to her on her twelfth birthday. "Here, take it," she offered.
Autolycus made a sullen frown. "I don't want your ring," he answered. What he wanted from Anticlea she could not give, and he could not ask it of her.
Anticlea sighed. It would obviously take more than bribery to keep her secret safe. "Laertus, let me be alone with Autolycus for a moment." she asked. She decided she could talk to the thief easier without Laertus` protective posturing.
"I'm not going to leave you with this...this thief," Laertus answered in distain.
Autolycus turned toward the man. "Come on. I'm not going to hurt her, okay?" Just scram, will you buster?"
"I'll be okay," Anticlea answered, assuring Laertus. "Go, before you're discovered by someone else. I'll take care of Autolycus."
"Why does that worry me?" Autolycus queried thoughtfully.
"Hurt her in any way and they'll be Tartarus to pay." Laertus warned Autolycus before he stepped out of the door.
"Same to you," Autolycus answered. He pulled on his tunic in a final defiant gesture.
Laertus nodded acquiescence to Anticlea, turned and then left reluctantly.
Silent in his thoughts, Autolycus let his eyes wander around the room. His eyes landed on the set of initials Amphithea had lovingly carved on the bedpost one afternoon. It was after a particularly exquisite session of lovemaking. Over the years, someone had replaced the two "A"s with an "A" and a "B". Barchan must have discovered their secret meeting place and rewrote their history. Suddenly, Autolycus realized, everything about their relationship except the daughter they created together, had been obliterated.
"It's kind of sweet, Laertus thinks he needs to protect me. It's been that way ever since we were kids. But why am I explaining this to you?" she answered perturbed once again.
Autolycus turned to his daughter, still avoiding eye contact. "Just tell me one thing. Do you love him?"
Anticlea smiled impishly and bowed her head, suddenly shy.
"Then why are you marrying old Scarface?" Autolycus asked, pushing a thumb toward the castle.
"I don't want to marry Lucianus." Anticlea answered running her hand through her dark mane in frustration. Her eyes wandered around the room. "I just haven't found a way to get out of it yet."
"Anticlea?' the thief said, waiting for her focus to shift back toward him, "the wedding is tomorrow."
"I know. It doesn't give me much time. My father is counting on this marriage. I can`t disappoint him. You won`t tell him, will you?"
Suddenly Anticlea`s eyes had a faraway look as if reminiscing about something. It was the same look Autolycus would get when daydreaming about his next jewel heist.
Autolycus watched her in curiosity for a moment and then snapped his fingers to bring her out of her reverie.
"Whoa. I can see the wheels spinning in that devious little head of yours. What are you thinking?" Autolycus asked, knowing that any plan his daughter had conceived was bound to turn out tragically wrong. That is, if she took after her father at all.
"Oh nothing," Anticlea answered with false innocence, "now if you don't mind, I need to get dressed and I'd like some privacy."
Anticlea began gathering the clothing that had been strewn about the dusty floor. She held them close to her as she pulled the corners of the sheet up further and looked at Autolycus in impudence. "Unless in addition to being a thief and a stalker, you're also a voyeur."
"Fine." Autolycus announced as he began to walk out of the guardhouse. He stopped just inside the doorway. Without turning back, Autolycus decided to give his daughter some advice, probably the only counsel he would ever be able to give her.
"Anticlea, let me give you some fatherly advice," he began, "Don't wait too long to tell Barchan you're in love with someone else. As much as it pains me to say, he's a good man and he loves you. He'll do the right thing. Regret is a sentiment that only gets stronger as you get wiser. The gods know. I'm made my share of them."
Autolycus reached out for the doorknob and shut the door behind him. He silently and slowly made his way back to the castle.
The celebration dinner was scheduled to be held at sunset. It was an intimate affair as far as royal celebrations go, being attended by only family and friends. Both Hercules and Iolaus were getting dressed in their finest attire as Autolycus watched them in disinterest.
"Aren't you coming?" Iolaus asked the thief.
"No," Autolycus answered absently pulling at a knot on the upholstery.
"Anticlea invited you," Iolaus continued.
Autolycus had suddenly reappeared after being missing for two hours. The thief came back subdued and quiet, very much unlike his usually verbose self. Hercules had suspected the thief had stolen something and was just being coy.
But Iolaus knew better. His sullen mood was not unlike the time Autolycus had revealed to Iolaus he was Anticlea's biological father. The thief's mind was preoccupied with worry about his daughter then, and Iolaus suspected Autolycus was preoccupied once again. He imagined it was some cockamamie scheme to keep Anticlea from wedding Lucianus.
Iolaus shrugged his shoulders, not sure what to do to get Autolycus out of his blue funk.
"I know why Iolaus wants me to go," Autolycus said as he looked up and addressed Hercules, "but I suppose you want me there just to keep an eye on me."
The demigod threw the thief's backpack at him. "That's right. To spite what Iolaus thinks, I still don't trust you to mind your manners. I want to keep an eye on you. Now get dressed."
"Fine," Autolycus said in resignation as he reluctantly shuffled through his backpack until he found an appropriate tunic for the occasion. The choice was an easy one to make. The thief only had three tunics, two were green and black, but one was a rich silk design of jewel-toned colors.
The three men walked toward the dining hall. The room was festively decorated in the same maroon and yellow as the gates of the palace. Ribbons draped the joists in the ceiling creating a spectacular visual effect. The table was adorned with gold plates and silver goblets. Barchan, looking frail and weak, stood by the door and greeted his guests.
"Iolaus," he announced as he held out his hand for a warrior's handshake.
Iolaus eagerly took the King's hand and shook it enthusiastically. "King Barchan. Thank you for inviting us."
"Are you kidding," Barchan laughed, "this was all my daughter`s doing. Although I wholeheartedly agreed with her." Barchan continued, as he held out his hand to the demigod. "Hercules."
"King Barchan," Hercules offered, "You have a beautiful kingdom and a beautiful daughter."
Barchan smiled. "I had little to do with either of them," he answered.
"Darn tootin' he didn't," Autolycus said under his breath. Although the thief had never claimed Anticlea as his own, he was still proud of his strong, independent daughter. Alone, Autolycus could accept his decision, but in the company of others, it seemed interminable to listen to everyone attribute all of Anticlea's good qualities to Barchan's influence. It was then when Autolycus was more vulnerable to blurt out the truth.
"Autolycus," Barchan greeted reticently.
"Barchan," Autolycus answered back. "If I'm going to get through this evening, I need some wine."
"Right over there," Barchan offered pointing to a console at the end of the room.
Autolycus nodded, stepped away from the trio and walked toward the bar.
Hercules commented on Autolycus enthusiasm for being at the dinner, "You'd think he was the father of the bride, the way he's reacting."
"Um, yes. It does appear that way, doesn`t it," Barchan agreed reluctantly.
Iolaus leaned toward Barchan and replied, "Hercules is babysitting Autolycus tonight. He's afraid the King of Thieves might get a case of sticky fingers if he doesn't."
Barchan smiled. "Wasn't he invited to the wedding?"
"He kind of invited himself," Iolaus answered.
Barchan nodded in quiet understanding. He was not terribly surprised to see the thief. Autolycus had managed to worm his way into his daughter's life on more than one occasion and after the thief had rescued Anticlea from the kidnappers, Barchan was finally content to accept it.
Anticlea had spotted Iolaus, Hercules and Autolycus enter the room. She was quietly talking to Laertus, but the couple split up as Autolycus walked toward the console. Anticlea gave him a steely glance and then casually strolled toward the thief.
King Barchan, Iolaus and Hercules were exchanging some quiet conversation when Lucianus walked up.
"King Barchan," Lucianus announced with saccharine sweetness as he walked into the room. "Who do we have here?" he questioned as he sized up both the short blonde and the taller man in front of him.
Iolaus immediately disliked the young man. As if the self-important pretense he exuded wasn't intolerable enough, it was offset by his fabricated respect for King Barchan.
Barchan began the introductions, "Lucianus, may I introduce Anticlea's good friend, Iolaus and his partner, Hercules."
Lucianus looked toward the demigod with convincing surprise. "The Hercules?"
"Um, I guess so," Hercules answered shrugging his shoulders and trying to remain modest.
"I'm impressed," Lucianus answered. "Had I known that Anticlea had such powerful friends, I would have insisted Barchan have us marry sooner."
"Yeah, I bet," Iolaus said quietly. Suddenly Iolaus understood why Autolycus was so adamant about stopping the wedding.
"Excuse me, will you?" Lucianus answered. "My soon-to-be bride awaits."
Lucianus sauntered up to Anticlea and Autolycus who had gathered at the wine console. Autolycus was about to sip wine from a silver goblet when a muscular hand pulled it away from the thief's lips.
"No, no, no." Lucianus chastised the thief, "this goblet is reserved for King Barchan. See," he said as he pointed to the marker wrapped around the step of the goblet and the label on the half filled bottle of wine. "Ithaca has some of the finest wines in the region. I had my wine steward pick out a bottle for each of our guests." He looked around to the various bottles for the right one, "And you are?" Lucianus asked.
Autolycus looked over to see the varieties of wine, and the names associated with each one. He saw one for Iolaus, Hercules, Laertus, but of course, there was no wine bottle reserved for him.
"That's all right. I guess I'm not as parched as I once thought I was." He turned to walk away.
Anticlea reached out and steered him back toward the table. "That's okay, Lucianus. Let Autolycus have a taste of my father's wine. I'm sure he won't mind."
"Anticlea, this is highly against protocol." Lucianus objected.
"Get used to it," Anticlea answered defiantly. As much as she was plagued by the King of Thieves, if her hospitality toward him annoyed Lucianus, she was planning on playing it to the hilt.
But the wine should be consumed only by a king." Lucianus objected.
"Good then, Autolycus is a king: the King of Thieves."
"I see." Lucianus smiled with an indulgent, sly grin. "Your friends range from one end of the spectrum to the other. This is going to be an interesting evening. Fine," Lucianus conceded. He made a sweeping motion with his hand, "Pick your poison."
Autolycus picked up the goblet that had been reserved for King Barchan. He pointed to it and announced, "So this one is reserved for the father of the bride, eh?"
The thief was about to take a sip of the wine when Iolaus, Hercules and King Barchan walked up. Lucianus once again grabbed the goblet from the thief's hand and quickly placed it in the palm of the King of Ionia.
"Let me pour another glass for you," Lucianus offered as he handed Iolaus and Hercules there respective wine goblets. The prince of Ithaca quickly grabbed a bottle from underneath the table, found a dented goblet and poured the thief a glass.
Laertus and King Arcesius joined the four men and young princess at the table. Lucianus offered his father, King Arcesius his designated glass, as Laertus reached for his.
"I would like to propose a toast," Lucianus began, "to the Princess of Ionia and her friends. I'm sure my union with Anticlea will bring on riches I could never dream possible; in wealth, in wisdom, in friends and in bed." Lucianus smiled lasciviously as he glanced toward his brother. Laertus turned away at the purposely greedy smile.
Lucianus snaked his arm around Anticlea and pulled her toward him. He planted a quick kiss on her cheek. "Well, drink up," he finished as he squeezed her waist tight in an effort to demonstrate his control.
The thief's attention turned from Anticlea to Iolaus and Hercules as each took a sip of their wine. They seemed to savor the alcoholic libation. Autolycus took a sip from the wine offered to him. It was vinegar. Autolycus wanted to spit it out, but wouldn't give the malicious prince the satisfaction, so he swirled it around in his mouth until he could swallow. Then he shot a pernicious look toward Lucianus.
Putting on his most charming smile, Autolycus commented to Lucianus, "Very nice. Full-bodied, fruity, with just a touch of bitterness. I'm surprised you didn't chose this variety for yourself, Lucianus." The thief finished and then walked away.
Iolaus noticed the thief's reaction to the vile tasting wine. Standing next to King Arcesius, he commented with acrimony, "That's quite a son you have there."
"Please! He's a pompous ass," King Arcesius announced. Like Autolycus, the king turned and left. Laertus followed him and engaged his father in a quiet conversation, trying desperately to appear as though everything was as it should be. Yet, he couldn't help but keep Anticlea always within his sight. The princess herself was a bit more constrained with her spying, occasionally glancing and smiling at the handsome prince.
King Barchan drained his cup and then placed it back on the console. Lucianus smiled and then filled it again, silently placing it back in the King's hand. Barchan had already missed several celebrations and his notable absence had put and a strain and had cast suspicion on the festivities. It would have been an insult to Ithaca to refuse the wine, so Barchan reluctantly accepted the glass and then wandered off.
The celebration meal consisted of a variety of foods, both standard fare and Ionian and Ithacan favorites. The food and the wine flowed through the evening's celebration.
Conversations were scarce at the dinner table. The tension between several of the guests was almost tenable. Autolycus managed to find a bottle of wine that was palatable so both Autolycus and Laertus were drowning their thoughts by drinking. Feeling out of place on the groom's side of the table, he nursed his drink as he listened to the quiet conversations.
Barchan sat in his customary position at the head of the table. To his right, Lucianus and Anticlea sat, followed by Iolaus and Hercules. Across from Lucianus sat Laertus, followed by King Arcesius and Queen Kalyptra and finally the King of Thieves.
Autolycus listened to King Barchan and King Arcesius discuss the newest design in weaponry. Hercules and Iolaus were getting the latest news about the many inhabitants of the castle, some of who Autolycus was familiar.
"So Anticlea, where's Morson?" Iolaus asked. The blonde hunter had missed the young princess' constant companion.
"He is in Ithaca on a cultural exchange program. They got Morson and we got Laertus." She said as she smiled warmly toward the prince. "Of course, Laertus isn`t quite the wrestler Morson is."
"I'll take your word for it," Iolaus said feeling somewhat uncomfortable with her statement.
Laertus watched Anticlea and Lucianus, but Autolycus noted that the young man could not hide his feelings for Anticlea or his contempt for Lucianus very well. The thief felt an odd sense of camaraderie for the hapless prince and glanced around the table to see if his feelings for his daughter were equally transparent.
Anticlea had finished her conversation with Iolaus and glanced toward King Barchan. The king was as pale as a ghost.
"Daddy, are you alright?" Anticlea asked with an edge of panic in her voice. She put a loving hand on King Barchan's arm.
The king nodded but Anticlea was not convinced.
"You haven't been well, and it's been a long, exhausting evening." Anticlea said. She looked over to Lucianus and rolled her eyes in contempt. She could barely stand a minute with the insufferable toad, much less a lifetime. "Why don't you let Iolaus and Hercules help you up to your room?"
King Barchan nodded again and proceeded to rise from his chair. As he stood up, unconsciousness over came the king, and he collapsed onto the floor.
"Daddy!" Anticlea exclaimed fearfully and was quickly kneeling on the floor next to her father. She slapped him lightly on the face in an effort to revive him, but the King did not respond.
The guests in the room quickly surrounded Anticlea and the king. Iolaus was kneeling next to her. Hercules stood behind Iolaus, concern was written on his face. Autolycus and Laertus fought with each other, trying to get access to the young princess and the fallen king. They nudged each other with their elbows and shoulders as they worked their way up to the front. The only one that stood in the backdrop was Lucianus.
"Daddy," she pleaded again and then looked up at the faces looking down at her. "Get Arrexus, quickly," she commanded to anyone who would listen.
Laertus was the first to respond. The young man turned around, bumping into Autolycus and quickly sprinted toward the door.
"Hercules, Iolaus. Help me take him to his bedchamber."
Hercules was about to oblige when Autolycus offered, "No, let me do it."
Hercules nodded his acquiescence and shrugged briefly. If he didn't know Autolycus better, he thought, it would appear the thief was trying to impress the rich guests with his offer of help.
Iolaus and Autolycus picked up King Barchan and carried him to his bedchamber, one flight above the dining room. Arrexus was waiting for him in the anti-chamber.
The two men laid the unconscious king onto the bed. Anticlea came rushing in from behind.
Concerned that the frightened princess would upset his patient, the crotchety old healer opened up his bag containing potions and healing herbs and announced, "Get her out of here."
Iolaus laid a gentle but insistent arm around Anticlea's shoulder and led her out of the room.
Autolycus stood behind a moment to view the bedchamber of the king. He would have thought a king of Barchan's status would have more gold and silver adoring his room, but his bedchamber was sparsely decorated. The room matched Barchan's demeanor: honest and unselfish.
Before exiting, Autolycus took another brief instant to look at Barchan. The king did not look good and Autolycus was concerned that he may be attending a royal funeral instead of a royal wedding.
Anticlea looked to Laertus and then looked to Autolycus. She expected Laertus to show his concern and worry, as he had in so many ways, but she was truly amazed at the compassion that reflected in the eyes of the thief.
"Thank you," she said acknowledging both of them. Iolaus still had a firm grip on the emotionally shaken princess. "Do you think he'll be alright?" Anticlea asked the room.
She looked to Iolaus and saw his concern. Then she looked into the thief's somber face. Autolycus had to look away.
In response to the worried thief, Anticlea stumbled to a chair and sat down.
Laertus had never seen the strong, independent princess so distraught. He wanted nothing more than to run to her, comfort her and protect her from this heartache.
In recent months, Laertus and Anticlea had had their problems, not one of which was the princess' desire to fulfill what she believed was her destiny and marry Lucianus. As the fateful day approached, Anticlea seemed resigned to the event, and would not challenge her father and let her wishes be known. Laertus had protected Anticlea from his brother for years, and with the impending nuptials, knew he could not protect her from Lucianus any longer. This sickened and worried him.
All Laertus could do was watch and pretend that his heart wasn't breaking. He thought; if he could get the heroes Iolaus and Hercules out of the room, at least he would be able to console Anticlea as her lover and confidant, not as some soon to be in-law.
His hopes were immediately dashed when Lucianus came strolling into the room. The scowl the prince usually sported quickly turned to fake concern as he recognized he had an audience.
"Anticlea my dear, how is your father?" he asked. Kneeling next to her he whispered in the ear of the distraught princess, "You really should be surrounded by your family at a time like this, not these..." He looked at the four men in the room, "...vermin. Father and Mother will be along shortly."
Anticlea looked into the cold, dark eyes of Lucianus. She found it amazing how the same eyes that could exhibit such warmth and concern from Laertus, could be so cold and calculating in the guise of Lucianus. Burdened by worry over her father, Anticlea spoke what was on her mind. "I don't want your parents here. I don't want you here. Iolaus and Hercules are more family that you can ever hope to be."
Suddenly the latch to the King's bedchamber clicked. All eyes turned to Arrexus. His dour look spoke more than any words could have.
Anticlea rose from the chair, so slowly it almost looked unreal. Arrexus spoke. "I'm sorry Princess Anticlea. It doesn't look good."
Anticlea would have collapsed if Iolaus hadn't rushed to her side. He supported the young princess as she quietly sobbed on his shoulder.
Laertus felt helpless and emasculated as Anticlea turned to Iolaus for comfort. The prince, suddenly full of self-loathing, quickly left the room. He pushed the doors open with a heavy hand as he left. They crashed against the wall, announcing his untimely exit.
Autolycus was fighting his own demons. He had battled the notion that Anticlea considered him nothing more than a nuisance and barely tolerated him. But each time he was rejected, he would try again. Having been excluded from the list of "family", somehow hit Autolycus like a ton of bricks. As Laertus went one way, Autolycus went another. He left Anticlea to her family - her family of friends.
King Arcesius quickly grabbed the only remaining son in the room and ushered him out. "I think we need to let Anticlea grieve in her own way, and in private," he chastised Lucianus.
The older king understood that Anticlea did not know him, nor considered him family. He took no offense to that. He was a stranger, and the two men in the room were her friends. He wasn't sure what the relationship of the dark-haired man was. He could tell the thief cared for the young princess, but the feeling didn't appear to be mutual.
Feeling the need to comfort the princess, Arrexus put a gentle hand on Anticlea's shoulder. "King Barchan would like to see you."
Anticlea looked toward Iolaus with trepidation. "That's a good sign, isn't it?" she asked in false hope as she brushed away her tears.
"I hope so," he answered with encouragement.
Anticlea turned around and walked slowly into the room.
"Iolaus," Arrexus began after Anticlea had left the room, "I can`t be sure, but I think King Barchan has been poisoned."
"Poisoned?"
"And who ever did it knew what they were doing."
###############
Anticlea walked into her father's bedchamber. He was awake, but still very pale and very weak.
He patted the outside edge of his bed, invoking Anticlea to sit beside him.
She walked up to Barchan, slowly and tentatively as if any noise was going to injure him more. She carefully took the king's hand as she sat down.
"You look better," Anticlea lied.
"Now, now pumpkin. Don't lie to an old man," Barchan rallied.
"You're not old," Anticlea protested as she rubbed the leathery skin on the back of his hand. A few days before she could have sworn it was soft and supple.
"I'm glad that Ionia will soon be allied with Ithaca. They are a strong and powerful ally, but they can be an equally vengeful enemy."
Barchan reached over with his free hand and patted the hand that held onto his so dearly. "Whatever happens, I want you to go through with the wedding tomorrow."
"Father, don't say that," Anticlea protested as tears began to fill her eyes. She understood the gist of her father's veiled comments.
He rose up on his pillow with what little reserve strength he had left. "I have something I must tell you," Barchan said and then turned his head away from his daughter as if her loving, concerned stare would burn his very flesh. "I've been living with this lie for so long, I'm afraid it has ripped away my fair name with Hades and as you know, a soul without honor cannot walk in the Elysian Fields."
"Don`t be silly, daddy. You're one of the most honorable men I know."
Barchan tried to laugh, but the effort produced a strangled cough that almost choked him. He struggled to continue, fearing that if he did not, he would not, or worse yet as death took its mighty grasp, could not.
"Honor comes in many disguises," he hesitated, "even your friend Autolycus has proven to be an honorable man."
"He's a thief and a liar and he's not my friend," Anticlea announced with abhorrence.
"Then make him your friend, my daughter. You know he cares for you." Barchan said and raised his weak hand to stroke her cheek one last time. At the gentleness of his touch, Anticlea began to sob once again.
"Shhhhhh," he tried to sooth, "I need to tell you. I will not rest in the underworld if I don`t.
"Whatever it is, it can wait. You need to reserve your strength."
"No," he voiced. The strangled croak was barely above a whisper. "it can't wait."
With all the talk of death and dying, Anticlea could no longer look at her father. She wanted to remain strong, but his urgency to speak to her was frightening her. Anticlea focused on the hand that she was holding.
Her father was stubborn and he would get no rest until he told her what was preying on his mind. He needed his rest. Breathing in and sighing deeply, she steeled herself and answered, "What do you have to tell me."
Barchan immediately relaxed as if one burden had been lifted from his soul. "I love you, my daughter," he stated.
Anticlea looked toward him and smiled. "I know you do, daddy, but not as much as I love you." She had thought Barchan was playing a game, the same game they had played when she was a child. Each tried to best the other with their declaration of love. But when she was greeted by silence, she knew her father was not playing a game.
Nervously, her gaze returned to the hand she clutched so tenderly.
Barchan continued, "At first, I used the excuse that you were too young to understand."
"To understand what? Something about mother?"
Anticlea was three when her mother passed away, and although Barchan remained quiet about Amphithea, the young girl still had questions about her mother. Even so, Anticlea never pushed for information. She always thought his silence was because it was too painful for him to talk about her.
"Yes, indirectly," Barchan nodded as best he could. "It is not something that I am particularly fond of talking about. It`s been buried for so long, but I think it's time for you to know. Did you know she was in love with another man when she married me?"
"Mother?"
He coughed violently again. "We both loved her, but there were...complications. She wanted desperately to marry him, but he was not in a position to marry. The situation was complicated even more by the fact that your mother was pregnant with his child."
Anticlea's gaze left her father's hand as she slowly turned her head to gaze into her father's face. It felt as if it were an eternity for her to comprehend what her father was saying. This wasn't the story leading up to his confession. This was the confession. A knot filled her stomach as she asked, "Who was my mother in love with?"
"I hope you will not hate me when I tell you," Barchan answered.
"Who was my mother in love with?" Anticlea asked more insistently.
"The King of Thieves," Barchan sighed heavily. The truth was finally out in the open.
Anticlea slowly rose from the edge of the bed. "No, it can't be," she said as she held both hands over her mouth in disbelief.
As if to bring the thought home, Barchan confessed, "Clea, pumpkin. I am not your father. Autolycus is."
"No! I don't want to believe you. Why are you lying to me?" Anticlea cried and then looked into his worried and feeble countenance. Her father had never lied to her and she couldn`t believe he was lying then. Without knowing why, she suddenly knew it was the truth, and yet, she still didn't want to believe it. "You're not lying," she answered as the realization suddenly took form.
It wasn't that she didn't like the irascible and annoying thief. He had proven himself to be her ally on more than one occasion. Yes, at one time she would have said she hated him. She would have even given a litany on the reasons why, but after meeting him, her hostility seemed to be etched more out of exasperation toward Autolycus than out of true animosity.
Impetuously, as if Anticlea was holding some kind of juicy secret, she asked Barchan, "Does he know?"
Barchan had to smile. It was very much like his daughter to try to gain the advantage in any tragic situation.
He nodded. "He knows."
Unconsciousness was threatening to overtake Barchan. The King had no idea how her enmity for Autolycus would affect her reaction to the news. But he needed to ensure that Anticlea understood the sacrifice the thief had made, and negate the hurtful feelings she had for Autolycus at present. Barchan wanted to protect his memory too. His fear that his daughter would hate him and turn her anger against him would kill the King faster than any illness could think of doing.
"Sit down, Anticlea," Barchan beckoned again as he patted the mattress. "Let me tell you about the real King of Thieves. Few men get to see him, but I did, the night he gave you to me to raise.
"I don't want to know," Anticlea said trying her best to remain stalwart.
"Yes you do," Barchan countered agreeably.
It was all too much information, with so little time to prepare; Anticlea felt like her mind was inundated with a confluence of differing emotions. She nodded reluctantly, having to agree with her father. "Yes, I do," she finally said.
She came back to his bed and sat down. With the last of his strength, Barchan wove a story of love, devotion and sacrifice. It was not only the thief's tale, but also of Amphithea, Barchan and herself.
Once the story was over, Barchan took a deep breath, closed his eyes and finally lapsed into a coma. Anticlea continued to tightly grip his hand. She stayed with Barchan for a few more minutes, savoring the last of the time she had with him before leaving his bedchamber.
Laertus quickly left the King's bedchamber. He was feeling too much pain and anger toward Anticlea. With her desire to please her father, Anticlea had put him in the interminable position of loving her but not being able to show it. His desire to escape his powerful emotions drove him toward the dining room. Stopping and looking at the bottles of wine displayed on the console, Laertus quickly grabbed two bottles of the finest vintage, two bottles reserved exclusively for Lucianus. He promptly headed out of the castle.
Autolycus immediately traveled down the hall to the room he was compelled to share with Hercules and Iolaus. Grabbing his knapsack from where he had left it on the bed, he changed out of his formal tunic and back into his customary green top. Hastily shoving his belongings into the bag, he was intent on leaving.
"Iolaus and Hercules are more family than Autolycus." he whined, "Fine. It doesn't take more than one lousy arrow through the heart to tell Autolycus that he's not wanted," he pointed to his chest with his thumb and then slung the knapsack over his shoulder. "Boring company and lousy wine, anyway."
Taking a long look around the gilded room, Autolycus sighed in defeat and then closed the door. He decided to exit from the kitchen, which meant less exposure to passer-bys. But that also meant he had to pass through the dining room where just minutes earlier, they were all sharing a celebration meal.
As Autolycus walked by the console in the dining room, he stopped. He looked at the wine that had been reserved for Iolaus and Hercules. Deciding he didn't want to leave the castle empty handed - he never left any castle empty handed, Autolycus grabbed a bottle that had been reserved for Iolaus, and stuffed it in the backpack before he left.
By exiting through the kitchen, Autolycus was forced to travel toward the acropolis in order to leave the castle boundaries as expeditiously as possible. As he approached the guardhouse, he decided to stop.
Not exactly feeling nostalgic at the moment, but not understanding why either, Autolycus found himself inexplicably entering the guardhouse. He opened the door to find Laertus on the floor of the building, sucking on a bottle of wine.
"Awe, what are you doing here?" Laertus slurred as he turned his back toward Autolycus.
"Evidently saving you from drinking yourself to death," he answered as he took the bottle away from the drunken man.
"Whose wine?" Autolycus asked recognizing that it was an Ithacan vintage and knowing there had been several varieties to choose from in the dining room.
"My no-good, good for nothing, no-good brother's," Laertus answered.
"I see," Autolycus said as he joined the young man on the floor.
Drunk and gregarious, Laertus began to talk to the thief. "Have you ever loved someone so much that you would do anything for her?"
Laertus slapped Autolycus on the back in a friendly gesture, "You're a thief. If your woman asked you to lie for her, would you? Would you steal for her? Could you just give her up? That's what Anticlea wants me to do. Just give her up."
Then Laertus slapped the floor in revolt. "I can`t do it, no sir, no sir-re bob."
Autolycus looked at the bottle, which was half full. "How much of this have you had?"
"Oh, just about this much," Laertus answered as he held his thumb and his forefinger apart by about four inches. Then he reached behind his back to produce the first empty bottle.
"Tell me, Autol..." he hiccupped "Autol..." he hiccupped again, "...thief. Have you ever loved someone that much?"
Autolycus had. And it burned in his memory. He had given up Amphithea so that she could have a better life, and now he was giving up Anticlea. The thief set his knapsack down in front of him and pulled out the bottle of wine he had stolen.
"Whose is that?" Laertus asked pointing to the bottle in front of the thief.
"The little blonde runt. You may know him as Iolaus. Bane to my existence, perpetual do-gooder. Family," Autolycus sneered, popping the cork and taking a large swig.
"I see," Laertus answered trying to mimic the thief's earlier seriousness. His goofy smile made it somewhat impossible to take him seriously.
Autolycus took another swig of the alcoholic beverage and then nodded, "You know Anticlea is probably crying on the little pip-squeak shoulder's right now. You know, that shoulder that should be yours or mine," he pointed in succession. Then he finished carefully under his breath. "Preferably mine."
The drunken prince looked toward Autolycus. The dark eyes underneath the worried brow of the King of Thieves also showed pain. He must have cared for Anticlea greatly to have crashed her wedding, and to have endured her displeasure. And Anticlea could show her displeasure. Suddenly Laertus, sensing another rival for his lover's affections, wanted to know why he came.
Afraid to broach the subject, Laertus grabbed the captured bottle back from Autolycus and took a drink before asking, "Do you love Anticlea?"
Autolycus had feared he had said too much, but the wine was affecting his senses quicker than he would have thought. "Whoa, Autolycus. Loose lips sink ships," he thought to himself. He tried to sidestep the subject by answering, "Who doesn't love Anticlea?"
Laertus looked toward Autolycus. The sound of his voice and the look on the thief's face suggested he was lying. Yes, Anticlea was much loved by most people, but the countenance of the thief earlier suggested more than just a platonic love. There was something more there, at least on the thief's part.
"Yes, but do you love-love her?" Laertus asked.
"I love her," Autolycus admitted, "but not quite in the same way you love her." He scoured, and closed his eyes briefly, trying to forget the image of the two of them together.
"I see," Laertus said and nodded. "But as it stands, neither of us has a chance of marrying her," Laertus answered. "You. . . because you're . . .old. Me, because I was born after my brother."
In normal circumstances, Autolycus would be offended by such a statement, but he knew some important secrets that the young prince did not. He was her father and Laertus already had Anticlea`s love. "You do love her, don`t you?" Autolycus asked after having asked the same question of his daughter.
"Would it hurt this much if I didn't?" he answered back.
Autolycus nodded in understanding. "Laertus, I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid. Take my advice. Talk to Barchan. Anticlea loves you. You love her. Let Barchan know how you feel about her."
Laertus laughed with sarcasm. "It's more than just me telling Barchan that I'm in love with his daughter. Anticlea's going through with this wedding only because she thinks that's what Barchan wants. Barchan wants her to marry Lucianus only because he'll inherit the throne to Ithaca. Lucianus is marrying Anticlea only because he wants the throne to Ionia. He doesn`t love Anticlea. My mother orchestrated the exigent marriage to Anticlea only because she fears Lucianus won't be king, won't be getting the crown of Ithaca." Laertus took another swig and Autolycus stole the bottle from his lips again.
Laertus laughed bitterly, "My father has had enough of my pompous, mean-spirited brother and has threatened to name me as successor to the Ithacan throne. Some consolation prize, huh. I get Ithaca and Lucianus gets Anticlea."
#########
Anticlea pushed herself out of Barchan's bedchamber and into the anti-room. Iolaus pulled himself up from a chair and walked over to the grief stricken princess. He supported Anticlea by grabbing her upper arms. Iolaus looked into her pale face, expecting her to relay the tragic news.
"Is he?" Iolaus began.
"He's sleeping now, but it's only a matter of time." Anticlea answered, not able to look into the compassionate eyes of Iolaus.
As Anticlea left the room, Arrexus quickly slipped in to check on King Barchan.
After talking with her father, Anticlea had decided she needed to talk to Autolycus, to get his side of the story. She smiled wryly at a thought. Autolycus must truly be a gifted thief. He wasn't even in the room, and yet he had managed to steal away her paternity. Dreading the conversation to come, Anticlea looked around the room. "Where's Autolycus?" she asked.
"I don't know," Iolaus answered, "do you want me to find him?"
"Could you? I just want to get this over with as soon as possible," Anticlea responded, her thoughts were unfocused on the conversation.
"Uh, oh," Iolaus questioned, "What did Autolycus do now? He hasn't stolen anything has he?"
Anticlea smiled briefly and patted Iolaus on the upper arm. She could tell the blonde hunter was worried about her.
"No, not really. At least nothing I can get back."
Iolaus gave her a curious glance. The crushed and defeated look on Anticlea's face worried Iolaus.
Hercules and Iolaus had discussed whether to tell Anticlea about Arrexus' discovery. Iolaus wanted to protect her, yet Hercules felt she should know the truth. The distraught look on Anticlea's face convinced Iolaus his decision was right.
Anticlea could see that something other than his concern for her father was troubling Iolaus.
"What's going on?" Anticlea asked as she looked from Iolaus, to Hercules.
Arrexus, after checking on his patient, walked back into the anti-room and after dutifully wiping his hands with a cloth announced to the young princess, "I believe King Barchan was poisoned."
Iolaus was overcome by the callousness in which the healer announced the news. He angrily piped up, "You know, Arrexus, you can use some serious lessons in your bed-side manner. Anticlea's not exactly strong enough to hear this now."
"What are you talking about? Poisoned? Who poisoned him?" Anticlea asked, pulling away from Iolaus and walking toward Arrexus.
"Do I look like the magistrate, too? That`s for your friends to figure out," Arrexus answered in exasperation. He looked toward the two men and the princess. "I'll check on Barchan in the next hour. You, princess Anticlea, need to get some rest. I`ll make sure Feta brings you some tea." Smiling weakly, he left the room.
"Who would want to poison my father?" Anticlea asked turning to the two men, and then she turned and stared silently at her father's bedchamber door, "Who would want to harm him?"
Iolaus looked back at Hercules and answered silently, "Herc, for Anticlea's sake, we've got to find out who did this. Do you mind taking Anticlea to her room. I..." Iolaus stopped and shrugged his shoulder in dismay, "promised to find Autolycus for her."
"Sure. Of course." Hercules nodded. "Why does she want to see Autolycus?"
Iolaus shrugged his shoulders. "It's Autolycus. Who knows? Have you checked your money belt lately?"
Iolaus began his search for the thief in the usual places. He began in the vault, a secured room on the first floor. He had hoped Autolycus wouldn't have the gumption to steal from his own daughter, but Iolaus didn't have that much faith in the thief. When the thief usually disappeared, that meant trouble, and to Autolycus, trouble meant stealing.
He looked for telltale signs that the thief might have been there. He tried the door to the vault and to his horror it was unlocked.
Peering into the darkened room, Iolaus could see that it was nearly emptied of the usual treasures. Only empty pedestals stood in the room.
Fearing the worst, Iolaus quickly checked his room. He had remembered that Autolycus had thrown his belongings on the bed when they left for the celebration dinner. If they remained, there was hope the thief was still around. If they were gone, Iolaus feared the Ionian gems had gone with him.
When Iolaus opened to door, he saw the thief's knapsack was gone. "Autolycus, how could you?" he exclaimed. Iolaus brushed his hands over his face in weariness and frustration. He didn't want to believe that Autolycus would steal from his own daughter, but the empty vault was a good sign that he had.
Iolaus now had to look for the thief in earnest. He thought about how Autolycus would best leave the fortress. The most expeditious way out, and the one that exposed him to fewer witnesses would have been through the kitchen. Iolaus immediately followed that path out of the castle.
He walked through the dining room and through the kitchen without seeing any signs of the thief. He walked out the door and headed toward the acropolis. The higher elevation would allow Iolaus a panoramic view of the area. As long as Autolycus didn't travel through the woods, Iolaus had a good chance of spotting him.
Iolaus approached the guardhouse when he heard the thief's distinctive laugh coming from the building.
"I've got a good one," Autolycus was heard to say, "What does a fish say when he hits a wall?"
"What?" Laertus asked.
"Dam," Autolycus laughed.
Iolaus stepped into the guardhouse and responded in breathless relief, "Autolycus, boy am I glad I found you."
Autolycus took a drink from the bottle he had stolen from the dining room, "What? So that you can torment me some more?"
"Torment you?" Iolaus asked in confusion. "Anticlea's been asking for you."
Autolycus stood up. "Why would she do that? I'm not..." the thief drunkenly stammered and then whined, punctuating the sentence with imaginary quotation marks, "...family."
"Did she ask about me?" Laertus piped in as he stood up and wobbled unsteadily.
The less drunken thief put a friendly hand on his drunken buddy's shoulder and punctuated, "She said she wants to see me."
Iolaus shook his head in dismay. By the time Iolaus had arrived, Laertus had had way too much to drink. Listing severely to one side, Laertus announced, "Autolycus, I don't feel too good." and then he keeled over in unconsciousness.
"Uh, oh," Autolycus announced as he watched him fall.
"Quick Autolycus, help me get him to the bed." Iolaus said as he grabbed Laertus' arms. Autolycus was forced to grab the prince's feet.
"Why was he drinking?" Iolaus asked.
"Oh, just Anticlea. He's in love with her, you know." Autolycus answered matter-of-factly.
"And why were you drinking?" Iolaus asked but as Autolycus opened his mouth to answer, the blond hunter replied, "Oh, let me guess Anticlea?"
Autolycus nodded.
Having settled Laertus in the bed, Iolaus then turned to Autolycus. "Anticlea wants to see you, but Autolycus, you won't win any points with her if you go in there drunk. Do you think you can sober up in the next few minutes?"
In a Herculean effort of his own, Autolycus pulled himself up, tugged on his tunic and with a sobering voice announced, "Let's go."
As they began their trek back to the castle, Autolycus asked, "Barchan's not..." thinking of no other reason his daughter would want to see him.
"No," Iolaus stated. "But Arrexus believes it's only a matter of time. He was poisoned, Autolycus."
"Poisoned?" the thief questioned, "do they know who did it?"
"That's what we're going to find out," Iolaus answered.
The hunter had some hesitancy broaching the next subject, "Autolycus, people are going to start asking questions. Heck, Hercules is already asking questions. He sees how weird your acting, and how weird I`m acting covering up for you."
"What? He thinks I poisoned Barchan?" Autolycus questioned. "Why? What reason would I have to poison him?"
Iolaus chortled, "Come on, you're a thief, not a murderer. Hercules knows that, but you have a good motive. Barchan did take your daughter away. So, have you thought about what you will say if your secret gets out?"
"I'll deny it," Autolycus said firmly. "No one believes a thief anyway."
Autolycus stopped. He decided to ask the hunter why Anticlea would unexpectedly summon him. "Iolaus," he questioned as the hunter moved in front of him, "did Anticlea tell you why she wanted to see me?"
"No," Iolaus answered, "Why? Do you have a guilty conscious? I saw the empty vault, and it was obvious you were running away." Iolaus said as he continued on his way.
"Wait," Autolycus answered as he caught up with the hunter. "You don't think that I would poison Barchan, but you do think I would steal from him?" He put his hands on his hips in righteous indignation. "Oh, I get it, once a thief, always a thief. Well, I wouldn`t do that. Not now and not to Anticlea. I thought you knew me better than that."
He handed Iolaus his knapsack. "Here. Search the bag. You won't find anything in there but some dirty laundry."
Iolaus could tell that his suspicions had hurt the thief's feelings. He knew how much Autolycus loved Anticlea, besides, if Autolycus was telling the truth, the last thing Iolaus wanted to do was rifle through the thief's dirty laundry. "Fine. I'll take your word for it," Iolaus said throwing the knapsack back to the thief.
"That's better," Autolycus said as he accepted Iolaus' apology.
Iolaus escorted the overly quiet thief to Anticlea's room. Hercules saw the two men enter and eagerly got up from a chair.
"Where'd you find him?" the demigod asked Iolaus.
"In the guardhouse. But we've got a problem. Seems that the prince of Ithaca decided tonight would be a good night to drink himself into a stupor."
"Lucianus?" Hercules questioned. He had not seen the young prince since King Arcesius led him out of the King's anti-room earlier.
"No, Laertus," Iolaus answered as he saw the demigod's questioning glance, "It's a long story, I'll tell you about it later."
Hercules gave Autolycus a brief glance. From Autolycus' strange behavior, Hercules could tell that the thief was hiding something. He hoped that his investigation would reveal what it was, before the thief did something he would surely regret. He didn't know what the thief was up to, but knew Autolycus well enough to know he was no murderer.
"Okay, so we've found Autolycus." Iolaus stated, and then asked, "Hercules, can you help me get Laertus out of the guard house and back to the castle. It won`t look good if anyone finds him there."
"I'll help you," Autolycus offered magnanimously. The usually sure thief suddenly felt very apprehensive about seeing Anticlea.
"Just knock on the door, will you Autolycus," Iolaus chastised, understanding the thief's anxiety.
Hercules spoke his concerns. "Security has been increased since the guards learned of King Barchan's poisoning. Nobody is leaving without a thorough search. How exactly do you expect us to sneak Laertus into a fortified castle, without gathering some suspicion?"
"Herc, do I have to think of everything?" Iolaus sighed, again wiping his face in discouragement. Finally in resignation he answered, "I'll think of something."
Iolaus walked out the door waving an arm for Hercules to follow. "Come on. Let`s go." Hercules followed, shrugging his shoulders behind him.
##########
Autolycus hesitated and looked toward the two men as Iolaus and Hercules left the room. Staring at a wood door for what seemed like minutes, Autolycus finally knocked on Anticlea's bedroom door.
"Come in," Anticlea responded.
Autolycus opened the door and saw Anticlea on her bed. Several used linen handkerchiefs were crumpled up beside her. Her eyes were puffy. Her nose was red. He could see the remnants of tears that had rolled down her cheeks. Still, the thief thought she was the most beautiful daughter in the world. With a tinge of remorse, Autolycus felt somewhat relieved that Anticlea would never feel the need to cry on his behalf.
Autolycus entered the room. He didn't know what to say, so he asked, "How's Barchan?" It was the beginning of a conversation, at least.
"You mean my father?" Anticlea sniffed.
"Yeah, that's right," Autolycus answered in a quandary. "King Barchan."
"But you see, that's just it. Isn't it?" she pronounced, "Barchan's not my father, is he?"
Anticlea laughed derisively. It was a cold and unfeeling laugh, one born of pain. "Daddy told me; he finally told me the truth. Hard as it is to stomach, Barchan is not my father. You are."
"Okay," Autolycus prefaced seeing the pain on his daughter's face, "I guess I deserved that."
Anticlea looked up at Autolycus with an odd mixture of aversion for the thief and the need to be comforted by someone, if not by him. Her body began to shake with renewed tears. She tried to control them, but her grief had finally found its voice.
Autolycus rushed to her, quickly sat on her bed and took her gently but hesitantly into his embrace. She seemed to melt in his arms and he allowed her to cry on his chest. The sorrowful embrace reminded Autolycus of another day a beautiful woman cried on his chest - the day he told the beautiful Amphithea he couldn't marry her.
"Autolycus, what am I going to do without my father. He's all I have and I love him so much."
"I know you do," Autolycus said as he rubbed her back, trying to sooth her fragile nature. "I know you do." He repeated. He tried to stop his eyes from welling up as he tried to absorb her pain. He held her tighter.
Anticlea continue to sob and Autolycus waited until her crying had abated to a few sniffles before he spoke. He didn't want her to find out about him; not like this. But now that she had, he was compelled to answer her unspoken fears.
Once her crying had stopped, Anticlea forced herself from the embrace. She wiped the tears from her eyes. "I guess I'm not even a princess anymore," she stated absently.
"You`ll always be a princess," Autolycus answered.
"Oh sure, the Princess of Thieves, now that's a catchy title."
"No, I mean you are the Princess of Ionia. Barchan is your father. He loved you. He nurtured you. Heck, he was there for all those hoity-toity important occasions."
Autolycus wiped a lingering tear from her cheek and then placed his crooked finger gently under her chin. "The only thing I contributed to was your stunning good looks and sparkling personality."
Anticlea smiled wryly. "Funny, I always thought I got those from my mother," then with a solemn look on her face asked, "Would you tell me about her some time?"
Autolycus removed his hand from her chin. "Um, sure," Autolycus answered unsure.
He sighed heavily, "She was beautiful," and then after a pause continued, "Clea, as selfish as it seems now, I did what I thought was best for you and Amphithea at the time, but I could never forgot about either of you." He kept Anticlea at an arm's length.
"I know I can't take the place of your father, but all I've ever wanted was to be a part of your life, to be a friend to you. You know, kind of like Shorty is, only better looking. Will you at least allow me to be your friend?"
Anticlea looked down, afraid to look at him. In nervousness, she answered, "Daddy told me you were the one that had sent me the presents all those years. You know the ones," Anticlea said as she lifted her head up and gave him a sly smile, "the ones that kept appearing mysteriously for birthdays and special occasions."
Again, she brought her head down, not wanting to see his face as she admitted, "In a big way, you were part of my life. I always looked forward to the presents, almost more than I did the occasions that brought them. Before today, I always suspected it was Barchan sending them to me, but every time I asked him, he would always deny it. Now I know it was you."
"Does this mean we can be friends? I won't betray your trust, Anticlea. I promise you no one will know that I am your father."
Anticlea smiled tentatively "We`ll see," she answered hopefully.
"Now that's an interesting confession coming from the King of Thieves," Lucianus answered. Anticlea and Autolycus looked toward the opened door. They had not heard the guileful prince enter the room.
############
"Boy, talk about your dead weight," Iolaus said as he and Hercules walked through the gloom of the night and toward the castle walls. Iolaus was to the right of Laertus and Hercules was to the left. They supported the weight of the prince by draping his arm around their respective shoulders.
That was the easy part. The coordination of the feet proved a tad more difficult, and after trying several solutions, none very courtly, the two men just decided to drag the prince's feet behind him. "Maybe no one will notice Laertus is unconscious," Iolaus offered as they headed off.
"Exactly why was Laertus drinking, anyway?" Hercules asked as they continued toward the castle.
"According to Autolycus, it's because Laertus is in love with Anticlea."
"Ouch," Hercules responded.
Iolaus could empathize with Laertus. On more than one occasion, the blonde hunter had experienced love only to loose it to someone else. It stung. Both Iolaus and Laertus chose different methods of dealing with their hurt and anger. Iolaus vented, Laertus withdrew.
"Who goes there?" A guard announced as Iolaus and Hercules approached the castle. He peered into the darkness of the night as the three men got closer. "Iolaus? Hercules?" he questioned and then noticed the drunken man in between them. "Lucianus?" the guard again queried.
Laertus, waking up from his drug-induced coma, was about to lift his head to correct the misidentification when Iolaus urged it down again.
The guard looked toward Laertus with concern. The prince moaned in discomfort as his stomach began to churn with the ultimate effects of too much alcohol.
"Oh him?" Iolaus laughed hardily and encouraged Hercules to follow along, "We were having a bachelor party for the groom. You know, that last fling with plenty of women and wine, you know, before Lucianus gets hitched to the old ball and chain."
Iolaus pointed to Laertus, "he just had a little too much to drink."
The guard stepped up into the huddle that consisted of Iolaus, Laertus and Hercules. The demigod had to bend down as the guard whispered conspiratorially, "You had women? What kind of women?"
Iolaus smiled and drew the guard into the huddle with a crook of his finger. "You know that pretty little number that helps to serve the food? Wears a green frock that barely covers those lusciously perky breasts?"
The guard sudden backed up from the huddle. Iolaus could see his face began to cloud over in asperity, "You mean my wife?"
"That's right," Iolaus answered hastily. He was on a roll before he realized what the guard had said, so he quickly sidestepped and responded, "It wasn't her but it was that ugly girl that helps out in the kitchen."
"You mean my sister," the guard stated, getting angrier with each one of Iolaus' flippant remarks.
Hercules began shaking his head with every cursed word that seemed to come out of Iolaus' mouth.
"No. No. Not that one, the old one," Iolaus finally conceded.
The guard began to think, and finally offered, "You mean Feta?"
"Feta?" Iolaus questioned and then with a dubious grin, asked the guard, "She's not your grandmother, is she?"
"Feta? Naw."
"Good. Good." Iolaus was thinking. "Listen, you won't tell anyone about this would you? You know, if it got back to Anticlea, well, I wouldn't want to be the one that leaked the news."
"No sir. Feta?" the guard questioned in astonishment. "Do you need help getting him to his quarters, sir?"
"We can handle it," Hercules answered.
"One thing," Iolaus asked, drawing the guard into the huddle once more. "Where are his quarters?'
"Um, Iolaus," Hercules questioned pointing down toward the awakening Laertus. With the intentional misdirection, Iolaus himself had forgotten which brother he was trying to protect. Iolaus, seeing Hercules knowing nod toward Laertus, quickly switched gears.
"Tell you what, aren't his brother's quarters closer? We`ll take him there instead."
############
Anticlea's face began to turn red with indignant rage when she realized Lucianus had snuck into her quarters. "Lucianus, you cockroach!" Anticlea spoke vehemently, "Did you forget to knock or did you just slink in under the door?"
"Get out." She said as she rose from her bed.
"Now, now my pet," Lucianus purred malevolently and then smiled patronizingly at Autolycus, "is that any way to begin our marriage?" He licked his lips, "I must say, Anticlea, you have some of the most delicious secrets. The King of Thieves as your father; I can't imagine what other secrets you may possess."
Lucianus had found this secret to be even more powerful than the one he had been safely keeping until he could use it to his advantage; his betrothed's infidelity with his brother.
Lucianus moved within a few inches of Anticlea and Autolycus. "I'll be sharing this very bed with you tomorrow night." he said as he allowed his hands to sensuously run across the linens on the bed. "Perhaps then I'll get to taste the sweet secrets that you've already shared with my brother. Tell me, did you love him, or did you think fornicating with a prince would make you a legitimate princess?"
His fake smile turned to one of wicked intent as he glanced toward the thief and addressed Anticlea, "I've tolerated your obvious discretions and lack of taste long enough. You were promised to me," Lucianus said as he traced Anticlea's jaw line with his finger, "and although I can't quite understand your reticence to marry me, you will marry me tomorrow or I will wage war on Ionia and have my brother killed for consorting with the enemy."
Anticlea lunged for Lucianus with vile hatred in her eyes. Understanding where her vehemence was coming from, Autolycus held her back, but the wiry young woman's arms were flailing trying to get vengeance for Lucianus' verbal attack. Autolycus managed to hold his daughter firm. When Anticlea quit fighting, Autolycus let go of her and pushed her protectively behind him.
Lucianus laughed at the speed in which Anticlea came to the defense of his brother. "But not to worry, once we are married, your secrets, both of them, are safe with me," he answered unconcerned.
Anticlea escaped the protection that Autolycus had offered her. "So why are you so eager to keep this a secret, Lucianus." Anticlea asked warily. Lucianus was a soldier and a politician, and used whatever advantage he could over his opponent.
"Other than it will make my bride happy?" Lucianus asked, "I have my reasons. It suits none of our purposes if this secret should leak out. Just tell me one thing, Anticlea, do you want to keep this secret because you don't want anyone to know you are not the legitimate heir to the throne, or is it because you are ashamed to be the daughter to that despicable lowlife over there?"
"Oooh," Autolycus answered as his eyes narrowed in anger and distain, "I don`t know what your problem is, but I bet it`s hard to pronounce." Then Autolycus warned, "Until tomorrow, this is still Anticlea's room. You weren't invited in, so I suggest you leave. Now!"
"And what are you going to do thief? Idle threats coming from a man who has to sneak into buildings at night just to avoid a confrontation. You, Autolycus, are a hack and a coward. I hold pirates and marauders in higher esteem."
"Why you!" Autolycus responded and then charged toward Lucianus.
Anticlea held the taller and stronger thief back as Lucianus continued to bate him.
Autolycus struggled against the wrestling hold that his daughter had placed on him. Anticlea was steadfast, but quickly loosing her control over the irate thief. She called out to anyone that could help her.
Iolaus, fearing some great harm had befallen the princess, ran into the room with Hercules following closely behind. Hercules grabbed Lucianus as Iolaus grabbed Autolycus. The thief was heard challenging, "Let me at him. I can take that little weasel. Let me at him."
"What's going on here?" Hercules asked, "Why are you two fighting?"
Lucianus, calculatingly calm, announced, "Oh nothing, Hercules. Just a family disagreement." He smiled facetiously. "A debate whether my bride should wear white."
"What?" Hercules asked, not believing the pettiness of such a fight, much less that Autolycus would risk getting hurt by picking a fight.
Anticlea looked toward Autolycus who was still struggling in Iolaus' grip. Fearing one of the men would blurt the truth, she quickly interjected, "The Ionian tradition is to wear gold to the wedding."
"Ah, yes, gold." Lucianus answered, content with the idea he got his message across. "I will see you at the ceremony tomorrow, my princess. And don't be late. It`s bad luck," Lucianus said and then left the room.
"Can you get a load of that?" Autolycus answered, suddenly ending his struggle. "Anticlea," he begged, "Can`t you see this guy has learned all the wrong daily affirmations. Please, don`t marry that bozo. Barchan wouldn`t want you to do this."
Anticlea looked at Autolycus. "You mean...you don't want me to do this. Barchan has made his position clear, and so has Lucianus. The people of Ionia are counting on this alliance with Ithaca. It`s the only way our small province can survive."
Autolycus pulled his arms from Iolaus' grip. "I'm fine. I'm fine," he assured the hunter, and then gripped his daughter`s arms in entreaty. "So? What? You're going to be noble? Marry a man you don't love? Remember what I told you about regret?"
"Regrets? You Autolycus? If I didn`t know any better, it sounds like you are in love with Anticlea, yourself," Hercules answered.
Autolycus briefly turned back to look at the demigod.
"Regrets? I've had a few, but then again too few to mention. At least to you, Hercules." Autolycus responded.
"Tell me does Iolaus know about these regrets?" Hercules asked feeling all the while it may have been the secret the two men were keeping.
Autolycus ignored the demigod`s question. He had promised Anticlea that he would not reveal their secret. He had already breached that promise by revealing it to Iolaus. He could handle the former thief's ridicule, because Iolaus didn't always make the right decisions himself, but to spite his lackadaisical attitude, Autolycus did not want the demigod's condemnation.
He turned to the hunter and said, "Iolaus, I need to talk to you. Outside. And right now," he requested as he glanced toward Hercules. "Alone?"
Iolaus looked at Hercules and shrugged his shoulders at the thief's request. He left Hercules alone with Anticlea.
Eager to fill the awkward silence, Hercules began, "So, did you decide on gold or white?"
Autolycus began to form a reason behind the prince's reluctance to reveal the truth. If King Arcesius should find out that Anticlea was not born to noble blood, he would rescind his offer of marriage. Autolycus knew that Lucianus was no longer the successor to the Ithacan throne, and the prince's only chance of becoming king was to marry Anticlea."
Suddenly it all fell into place for Autolycus.
Once out of the room, Iolaus tried to talk some sense into the willful thief. "Autolycus," he began, "Whatever happened in there, I think you are way over your head. You're too emotionally involved, and it's going to get you into trouble, if it hasn`t already. I think it's time to let Hercules know what's going on."
"I promised Anticlea I wouldn't tell anyone. I've already broken that promise by telling you. And now Lucianus knows."
"What? Lucianus knows?" Iolaus stridently whispered.
"And Anticlea."
"Wait a minute. You told Anticlea?" Iolaus chastised.
"Whoa, You think I did? Hey, I didn't spill the beans. Barchan told her," Autolycus defended and then he answered with reverence, "I guess he wanted to purge his soul before he entered Elysium."
"Autolycus, if Lucianus knows, he'll only use it to his advantage. I don't trust him."
"You and me both," Autolycus answered.
"You have to tell Hercules. He'll find a way to help." Iolaus said as he looked earnestly at the thief, "Autolycus, You know you can trust him, don`t you?"
"I know I can trust him to recite me some moral homily on how I always think of myself. Well, this time I'm thinking of Anticlea. If she marries that loser there is no going back. Will you talk to her, " Autolycus requested in desperation.
Iolaus knew how much will it took for the thief to ask Iolaus to help.
"I'll try, but she's made up her mind and we both know how stubborn she can be. I think it's going to take a lot more than talking to her to stop the wedding tomorrow. Talk to Hercules."
Not knowing what to do, Autolycus finally nodded in acquiescence.
Iolaus gave the thief a friendly slap on the shoulder, and then pulled open the door beckoning Hercules to come to him.
"It's okay," Anticlea said as she stepped out of her room. She had been away from her father for too long. "You can talk here. I'm going to sit with my father for a while." She closed the massive door behind the three men. Before she left, she had one more message for the thief, "Autolycus, remember, you promised."
When she left, Iolaus reluctantly announced to Hercules, "Autolycus has something to tell you."
############
The three men sat in Iolaus' room. All had dour expressions clouding their faces. Autolycus had explained his relationship with Anticlea and the demigod quietly sat and listened to it.
Hercules understood the cost of the decision the thief had made. Decisions affecting those you love were always the hardest to make and easiest to regret. Serena, Daianeira, and his children had already paid for the choices the demigod had made. Even Iolaus had suffered to some extent by the choices Hercules had made.
"Do you think Lucianus is capable of poisoning King Barchan?" Iolaus questioned.
"Tartarus, he's threatened to kill his brother," Autolycus announced sharply, "What's knocking off a king to him?"
Iolaus voiced what Autolycus was afraid to, "Hercules, if that's true, can Anticlea be far behind?"
Hercules thought about it, "I don't know, Iolaus. As the rightful heir, Anticlea and Lucianus would rule together. If Lucianus wanted to gain sole possession of the throne, Ionian law would suggest he could attain it in one of two ways. He would have to convince the people of Ionia that their marriage was based on deceit or subterfuge," Hercules hesitated, "Or like Barchan's fate, she would have to die."
"I don't want to hear this," Autolycus protested as he turned away.
"You don't think he planned on killing Barchan and Anticlea just so he could claim the Ionian crown, do you?" Iolaus asked incredulously and then began to think out loud. "But with Lucianus knowing the truth about Anticlea's parentage, wouldn't it be easier to marry her, and then announce the discovery of her parentage? Lucianus could humiliate Anticlea publicly and rightfully claim the throne." Then in understanding Iolaus announced, "That`s why he wants to keep it secret for now. He`s planning on using it later."
Hercules frowned. "From what I can see, he's certainly capable of it, and with the alliance needed between Ionia and Ithaca, the citizens may just allow Lucianus to usurp the throne."
"Maybe we should tell Anticlea," Autolycus offered as he began walking toward the exit.
Iolaus quickly grabbed his arm, "Wait. We don't have any proof."
"Well, get proof then," Autolycus demanded.
"We'll get proof. It just may take some time," Iolaus offered, laying a hand on the thief's shoulder in an effort to sooth his heightened reaction.
"Anticlea doesn't have time," Autolycus muttered.
"But how would Lucianus have poisoned Barchan?" Iolaus continued to think aloud.
Autolycus suddenly snapped his fingers, "The wine," he answered. "Each of you had your own bottle," then with a shudder of realization he commented, "and to think, I almost drank that panther piss."
"He could have easily poisoned the wine before he got here," Iolaus answered.
"Or used an awl to drill a hole in the cork and poisoned the wine, after," Hercules concluded.
With the new information they had discovered, Autolycus knew he had to stop the wedding. Iolaus was too much of a goody-two-shoes to help, but the thief knew who would. Of course, the thief thought, that would mean finding a way to get away from his forced-placed roommates. He was sure the water closet stunt wouldn't work for a second time.
With an exaggerated stretch, Autolycus forced a yawn. "Are you tired? Boy, am I tired. Can we talk about this tomorrow?" he asked. Autolycus then moved toward the door.
"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Iolaus asked, recognizing the fake yawn and thinking the thief had more than just his grappling hook up his sleeve.
"To my room," the thief answered.
"Oh no you don`t. Anticlea wanted me to keep an eye on you," Iolaus said as he pulled the bed covering off the bed and threw it toward Autolycus. "You can sleep on the floor."
"Speaking of Anticlea, maybe I should go check on her," Autolycus said aptly changing subject. It was clear Iolaus didn`t trust him.
"Come on, Autolycus. I thought you were so tired." Iolaus answered. "Besides, she's probably still with her father, anyway."
Autolycus gave Iolaus a withered expression.
"I meant Barchan." Iolaus corrected.
Autolycus walked up beside the bed Iolaus was now reclining on. He pulled the pillow from beneath the hunter's head. "I know what you meant." Autolycus answered, "For the record, I didn't want any of this to happen like this." He punched the pillow a couple of times in frustration and then threw it on the ground, at what would be the head of his makeshift bed. He lay down with his arms folded angrily against his chest.
"Night Autolycus," Iolaus called out bemused.
"Yeah, right," the thief muttered. He would have to wait until his two guards were asleep before he could bust out of his prison.
"Goodnight, Iolaus." Hercules said as he walked toward the door. He looked down at the hunter's guest, "Good night, Autolycus."
"Hey, where are you going?" Autolycus asked as he lifted himself up on one arm.
"Well, since you're not using your room, Anticlea graciously let me have it."
"Humf," Autolycus replied, "personally, I'd like to let both of you have it. I don`t need to be babysat," he pronounced and then turned away from the two men.
"Yes you do," Hercules announced.
"If it's any consolation, we can't do anything about Anticlea until tomorrow anyway, right Hercules?" Iolaus stated in sympathy. Both the hunter and the demigod needed to talk about the next course of action, without the emotional influence of the King of Thieves.
"The thief's eyes narrowed as he told the truth, "Thief's honor, I promise not talk to Anticlea."
Iolaus snorted derisively, "Thief's honor, sure. I suppose you have a thief's guild too."
"Scyros Local 101," Autolycus announced proudly.
Hercules smiled. "Goodnight, Autolycus," he reiterated. The thief bid the demigod goodnight by raising his arm and waving it weakly, in an effort to bid him to leave. "Iolaus, I'll talk to you later," Hercules said as he shut the door to the guest room.
Iolaus and Autolycus played a cat-and-mouse game until deep in the night. Both men would feign sleep hoping the other would soon drift off. Determined to help his daughter, Autolycus was the first to rise from his bed. He carefully got up from the pallet and tiptoed toward the exit.
"Go to sleep, Autolycus." Iolaus mumbled as he heard the squeaking of the door opening.
Autolycus grumbled and walked back to his bed. Later in the evening, at about midnight, Iolaus made his move.
Autolycus lay quietly on his pallet, pretending to sleep as Iolaus got out of his bed and moved toward the door. The thief allowed one eye to open slightly as he spied on the hunter.
Autolycus watched as Iolaus left through the hefty door. Autolycus immediately sprung from his pallet. As he got up, he noticed the arrangement of pillows Iolaus had carefully set up. It was intended to look as if the hunter was still in bed and asleep.
"The old pillows under the bed routine," Autolycus smiled. He wondered how many times he had used that same ploy on his brother, Malaegus. It didn't work for him, either.
Iolaus knocked on the demigod's door, waking Hercules up. Rising from his sleep, Hercules opened the door and responded, "I thought you were supposed to be here at midnight?" .
"Save singing Autolycus a lullaby or telling him a bedtime story, I didn't know what to do. Autolycus wouldn't go to sleep."
"Were you sure he was asleep when you left?" Hercules asked.
"Well, no," Iolaus had to admit.
Hercules chucked, "Well, it's in the middle of the night, I don't know what damage he could do." Hercules answered as he stepped out of the room.
"Are we talking about the same man? You know, Autolycus: the King of Thieves," Iolaus asked.
"True," Hercules conceded, "but we'll deal with his pilfering later. Right now we have to find some evidence that Lucianus poisoned King Barchan."
Autolycus was curious where Iolaus may have disappeared. Quickly stepped over to the door, he pulled it open to check.
The thief half expected Iolaus to be waiting for him when he opened the massive door. To his surprise, the corridor was empty, but he could see Iolaus slip out of the demigod's room.
Autolycus waited by the door. He cracked it open to only a sliver, so he could spy on the hunter's move, quickly shutting it as Iolaus and Hercules walked by. Forgetting about his previous assignment, Autolycus gingerly opened the door and followed the hunter and the demigod.
The two men were traveling down the corridor toward the dining room when they heard a whispered, female voice in the distance. The two men stuck their heads around the corner and peered down a long dark hallway.
Autolycus, who had been carefully following behind, hid in a recessed doorway.
"You idiot," the female chastised. "How am I supposed to look out for you and your interests if you don't do as I say. What if Barchan dies tonight?"
"I assure you, mother, Anticlea will go through with the wedding."
"I told you two vials of the potion in the wine."
"I will be King of Ionia," Lucianus assured her.
"Yes, well you better," the mother answered. "I assume you have found a way of dealing with Anticlea? I will not take responsibility for the blood of two nobles on my hands."
"Not to worry, mother. After tomorrow, you neither have to worry about Laertus or Anticlea again," Lucianus answered in assurance.
"Did you dispose of the vials like I told you?" the Queen asked.
"Yes, mother. I hid them in the room of my vapid and namby-pamby twin as you asked."
"And you will contact the magistrate first thing in the morning?" the Queen queried. It was as if she had a checklist of tasks she was marking off.
"Yes, mother. Just as we had planned," Lucianus answered.
Then the woman's demeanor changed, "Your brother is far too gullible to be trusted with the kingdom of Ithaca. Now go, before someone spots us. We have spent too long here."
Hearing Lucianus' confession, Autolycus quickly set out to find Laertus' room, but first he had to make a detour.
"Queen Kalyptra? What's going on here?" Iolaus whispered.
"It sounds to me like they're setting up Laertus for Barchan's poisoning." Hercules said as he moved toward the conspirators. Iolaus held him back.
"Where are you going?" he asked concerned.
"I'm going to confront them," Hercules answered nonplussed.
"We don't have any proof. You heard for yourself. The vials are hidden in Laertus' room. If the magistrate finds them there, what is he going to believe? Hercules, your reputation aside, this is the Queen and Prince of Ithaca, and Anticlea's betrothed. These are powerful people. Besides, we don`t even know if the magistrate is part of their plan."
"Good point," Hercules answered deep in thought, "The only way to ensure justice is done is if they incriminate themselves."
"Exactly," Iolaus nodded in understanding. "In front of the only person that counts right now, Anticlea."
Snapping his fingers, Iolaus then answered, "I have an idea."
"What is it?" Hercules asked.
"I better not tell you," Iolaus warned, "Just give me a couple of hours to set it up. Then talk to the magistrate and let him know our suspicions. Tell him to search all the guests rooms. I`ll do the rest." Iolaus began to move back through the hall, sprinting backward in urgency.
"Iolaus," Hercules cried out.
"Remember, two hours, then talk to the magistrate," Iolaus called back.
"Just...don't get caught." Hercules answered in quiet resignation.
The demigod knew his best friend and partner was about to do something that Hercules would not approve of. The fact that Iolaus was willing to take the risk alone suggested that there was something nefarious about the plan. He just hoped it didn't involve the King of Thieves.
############
After knocking on several wrong doors, picking several locks, and waking several of the castle guests, Autolycus found Laertus staggering pathetically in a hallway. His hangover was written all over his face - and boots.
"Where are you going?" Autolycus asked as he put a hand on the young man's shoulder and steered him in the opposite direction.
"I`m going to see Anticlea." Laertus answered.
"In a bit," Autolycus assured him as he continued to walk the man in the opposite direction of the young princess' bedchamber.
Laertus laughed in derision at the friendly nature of the self-assured thief. "Listen, Autolycus," he answered with a tinge of scorn, "I don't know what your connection is to Anticlea, but I love her and it's my job to protect her. Heck, I've been protecting her from my brother ever since we were twelve. She would have been married to him much sooner if I hadn't found ways to stop him."
"Yeah, yeah. I know. I`ve heard it all before." Autolycus mollified. "Tell you what," he bargained, "let's say we both protect her, but first you're going to tell me a little bit about your good-for-chaos twin."
Autolycus continued to steer the drunken prince down the corridor until the two men quickly disappeared behind a corner.
Iolaus walked to Laertus' room. He knocked on the door, but the prince of Ithaca did not answer. Figuring the man was still unconscious due to his heavy drinking, Iolaus tried the door. To his surprise, it was unlocked. Iolaus carefully entered, content with the fact that he didn't have to add breaking and entering to his long list of infractions.
His concern for Laertus was genuine, so he entered the bedchamber to check on him. The room was empty. He wondered where the drunken prince could be and after hearing Lucianus' confession earlier, momentarily feared for his safety.
But Iolaus could see that the boots he had taken off the prince and placed by the side of the bed were gone, so Laertus must have gotten up on his own accord.
"Well, since I'm already here..." Iolaus rationalized as he began looking for the two vials that Lucianus had said he had secreted there.
Iolaus spent the next hour combing the room looking for the empty vials of poison. He looked in all the obvious places, in drawers, under the mattress, and behind tapestries. He found three identical vials, two containers were empty and one was filled with the poisonous liquid. Iolaus had deduced that the inclusion of the poisonous liquid would help to incriminate Laertus once it was found. He hoped he had found all of the secreted vials.
Having thoroughly searched the room, Iolaus silently left with the vials safely hidden in a pouch on his belt.
He had his hand on the doorknob and was about to leave the corridor when Laertus and Autolycus rounded the corner.
As Autolycus noticed Iolaus, he quickly hid a small, conical cage made with bladed strands of barley behind his back. He didn't want Iolaus to know what he had been up to.
Seeing the concerned look on the hunter's face, Laertus reluctantly asked, "What's going on? Barchan isn't..."
"We haven't heard anything," Iolaus answered.
"Then why are you here? It's not Anticlea is it?" Laertus asked, shameful that he let himself get so drunk that he couldn't protect her.
Iolaus was about to answer Laertus when he heard the chirp of a cricket behind the thief's back. "What's that chirping? A cricket?" he asked at the sound of the annoying chirp.
The fake innocence on the thief's face told Iolaus immediately he was hiding something. The hunter moved his head trying to ascertain what was behind the thief's back. "What are you hiding, Autolycus?" Iolaus finally asked.
"What?" Autolycus asked innocently, "I don't hear anything. Laertus, do you hear anything?"
Laertus shook his head sympathetically.
"What's behind your back," Iolaus asked again as he pointed to the cage the thief tried to carefully hide.
"Okay. You caught me." Autolycus said as he tried to find an excuse for the cricket cage he held behind his back. "I've given up the business and am going into cricket farming."
"You? Get out of thieving? Sounds more like you're giving me the business, instead," Iolaus answered.
Laertus, still suffering from the effects of the alcohol in his system, looked at Autolycus with harried and bloodshot eyes. "We might as well tell him. He's going to find out anyway."
"Well, he wouldn't have if you had gotten rid of all these dad-blasted chirping critters quick enough," Autolycus complained.
"Lucianus was coming," Laertus defended.
"Okay, what's going on?" Iolaus asked trying to diffuse the argument that was about to begin.
"A carefully, although hastily contrived plot," Autolycus answered vaguely.
"A plot for what?" Iolaus asked.
"Oh, alright," Autolycus conceded as if the information was being dragged out of him, "to keep Lucianus from marrying Anticlea."
Iolaus was dumbfounded. He couldn't quite understand how Autolycus and Laertus could expect to stop the wedding with a cage full of crickets.
Laertus went on to explain as Autolycus proudly brought the cricket cage up as an exhibit. "My brother is deathly afraid of crickets. The mere sound of them will drive him into a frenzy - to the exclusion of everything else. He'll spend the next twenty hours looking for every single one of them, thereby missing the wedding." Laertus explained.
"Whoa, I know you two don't want Anticlea to marry Lucianus, but have you thought this out?" Iolaus asked disbelieving.
"What do you mean?" Laertus asked totally clueless.
"I mean, don't you think the wedding party will be a little suspicious when Lucianus doesn't show up?"
Autolycus hadn't thought about that. Subconsciously, he had hoped if he locked up the problem, then the problem would just go away: the problem of course, being Lucianus.
Autolycus, although not exactly suffering from an obsessive-compulsive disorder might as well have been. He found himself embroiled in the same single-minded scenario that faced him when his brother was murdered. Without thinking of the consequences, he sought justice and robbed the merchant who had Malaegus killed, thereby making him an outlaw.
His single-mindedness was to save Anticlea from a fate worse than death; being married to that louse Lucianus, and he was determined to do it to the exclusion of anything else. Yes it was impulsive, and yes it was not well planned, but like seeking retribution for his brother's murder, he intended to carry this plan out.
To torment the wicked prince, Autolycus agreed to the plan of infesting Lucianus' room with the vile, brown crickets, but he wanted to ensure that should Laertus' plan fail, his would not. He replaced the simple lock from Lucianus' door with the more complicated Hephaestian lock that secured the empty vault. A double cylinder deadbolt, the first of it's kind, it required a key, or a skilled locksmith to open it from either side.
"At least we're trying to do something to stop the wedding. What are you doing?" Autolycus asked perturbed.
"That's not the point, Autolycus, and you know it. I'm not happy about it either, but it's not our decision who Anticlea should or shouldn't marry."
"Yeah? Well you're not her father," Autolycus blurted out in authority.
"And you're not her lover," Laertus chimed in.
Iolaus watched as Autolycus blanched at his statement. All the hunter could do was grab his forehead and shake his head in dismay. He didn't have the time to deal with two emotionally charged, strong-willed men determined to carry out a hapless plan.
Autolycus was desperately and hastily trying to find a way to salvage his plan and to prevent Anticlea's wedding. There was no way around it, Autolycus thought, so he turned to Laertus to give him the news. The young prince looked uncannily like his brother with the uncustomary scowl on his face.
Thinking quickly, Autolycus pulled Laertus in front of him and said, "Uncanny resemblance to the groom, wouldn't you say?"
The thief's mind was reeling. It was the perfect plan. Since Laertus would be posing as Lucianus without the man`s consent, the marriage could easily be annulled and Anticlea would be free of both of the princes. But, he wasn't sure Anticlea would be happy about that fact, either, Autolycus frowned. He knew his daughter loved Laertus, and the prince made it clear he wanted to marry Anticlea.
Iolaus looked at the two men. "You want to substitute Laertus for Lucianus?" Iolaus asked incredulously. "First of all, that will never work and second, I'm not going to let you perpetrate a fraud on Anticlea like that, either."
Iolaus had seen the thief's stubborn side and thought he might have better luck in persuading the young prince into dropping the ill-fated plan. Besides, Iolaus had needed Laertus to perpetrate another fraud instead.
"Laertus, we need to talk," he said as he opened the room for Laertus and Autolycus to enter.
Autolycus was reluctant to enter the room, but Iolaus urged him on with, "You too, Autolycus."
Autolycus listened while he kept the conversation he had overheard between the Queen and Lucianus a secret. He had only let Laertus in on the fact that he didn't want Anticlea marrying his brother. At the moment, Autolycus had no additional plans for Lucianus' other transgressions, so he sat silently as Iolaus explained to Laertus what he had heard in the hallway.
Laertus was stunned to hear that his mother was part of the plot to poison Barchan. He could well believe his brother's motives, but the fact that his mother was involved took him totally by surprise.
After explaining the situation, Iolaus went on to explain his plan. He needed both the cooperation of the King of Thieves and Lucianus' twin to pull it off. Although Laertus was reluctant to side against his mother, considering Anticlea's life was at stake, and it was a chance to incriminate the perpetrators of the poisoning, he reluctantly agreed to the plan.
Generally active in securing his own fate and protecting Anticlea's, over the past few months, Laertus had felt powerless while watching what the Fates had planned for their lives. Although grievous about the outcome of Iolaus' plan, he relished the active role that that the hunter allowed him to play, and the opportunity to redeem himself in his own eyes.
With the plan discussed in detail, Iolaus handed Autolycus the three vials. "Now, don't get caught," he warned.
"Me? Get caught?" Autolycus answered with contempt, "Puleeze! After all, I am. . ."
". . .the King of Thieves," a symphony of three voices answered in unison.
Iolaus continued, "Now hide them in an inconspicuous place, but not so well that the guards can't find them," he cautioned. "Hercules will be waking up the magistrate in another hour, and that doesn't give us much time. So don't dawdle," the hunter concluded.
"Fine. Fine." Autolycus answered unconcerned as he opened the door.
"Oh, and Stickyfingers," Iolaus warned, "I'll be checking your pockets when you get back."
Autolycus grumbled in response, "You know Shorty. You take the fun out of everything."
The thief found the Queen's bedchamber a few corridors away from the prince's room. He made quick work of the primitive lock and tiptoed into the room.
The thief crouched down low and waited for his eyes to adjust to the near blackness of the room. Once he did, he canvassed his surroundings.
The Queen was resting on her bed. A large mask covered her eyes. To the right of her was a night table with a decorative urn placed on top and across from the bed was a large tapestry behind a wardrobe chest. Autolycus decided both would be appropriate places to hide the vials. He searched for the third location to hide the last of the poisonous bottles. Since the vial in the prince's room was hidden under the bed, Autolycus decided to hide the third vial between the mattresses.
Iolaus warned the thief to make sure to secret the vials in the same general location as he had found them in Laertus' room, just in case there was some corroborated information regarding the location of the vials.
Autolycus walked over to the wardrobe and placed the first vial, the one filled with the poison, behind the tapestry, allowing it to rest against the wall and the top of the chest. Next, he slipped the first empty bottle, into the urn. Finally, the talented thief slipped his left hand under the mattress to secure the last empty vial. As the thief maneuvered his hand under the mattress, the Queen rolled toward him.
Her hand quickly slipped off the bed and onto the thief's head, knocking him to the floor. A moment later, in her restive sleep, her foot slipped out from under the sheets and then goosed Autolycus in the buttocks.
The thief continued to maneuver his arm under the mattress until it could go no farther, which was where he deposited the last of the vials.
As Autolycus began to rise from the bed, the hand that had slipped off the bed brushed through the thief's dark hair.
"Orion, sweetie? What are you doing here?" the Queen asked still drowsy. She patted the bed in lethargy, "Come up and give your Queenie a big wet kiss."
Autolycus froze as the Queen continued to pet his head in her sleep, tousling his hair with broad sweeping strokes. He didn't know what to do, but he was sure he didn't want to give the she-devil Queen a kiss. Instead, he wanted to get out of the room as fast as he could before she suggested some other offering.
Autolycus backed away from the Queen's petting and slinked over to the door. He quickly stood up and opened the door making a hasty escape. He immediately hurried toward Laertus' room. Opening the door, he asked the beleaguered prince, "Just who in Tartarus is Orion, anyway?"
"Orion?" Laertus thought and then laughed. "Our family dog, why?"
"Well, I've been called worse," he decided pulling on the hem of his tunic. He was not sure he wanted to tell Laertus what had transpired in the Queen's bedchamber. "So, what's the next step?"
"Help me with the scar," Iolaus answered as he held up a long but narrow reed that had been tinted a skin color pinkish-red. Using some wheat paste, Iolaus planned to attached the reed to the right side of Laertus' cheek to emulate the scar on his twin brother's face.
The two men worked several minutes to get the scar just right. Iolaus then coached Laertus on what to say to the magistrate.
If Hercules did his job well, he would have been hazy regarding the details of the information he and Iolaus had gathered. He would have told the magistrate only that they had suspected King Barchan was poisoned and suggest that evidence of the poison could still be found. With this nebulous information, the magistrate would be forced to check every room of the castle for the vials, regardless of whether he was in on the conspiracy or not.
This is what Iolaus hoped for. The only unknown in his plan was the magistrate. Since Hercules and Iolaus were not sure if the magistrate was part of the plan to incriminate Laertus, the prince had to be coy and vague with response to the propaganda his brother was scheduled to spread. Iolaus wished he didn't have to involve the young prince in his scheme but, if indeed the magistrate was involved with the conspiracy, then a visit by Lucianus was necessary to perpetrate the fraud. Both Queen Kalyptra and the magistrate would be expecting such a visit and may become suspicious without one.
Of course Iolaus orchestrated it earlier than expected. Although Laertus and Autolycus believed their plan to imprison Lucianus would be effective, the hunter wanted to take no chances.
By surprising the magistrate at the dim light of early morning, their chances for securing the fraud would work more effectively. Iolaus wanted the only surprises to be their own.
"Are you ready?" Iolaus asked the prince.
"What if this doesn't work?" Laertus asked. He turned to the two men, "You will take care of Anticlea, won't you?"
"It'll work," Iolaus assured him.
Laertus nodded and then scowled.
"What's wrong now? You're not having second thoughts are you?" the hunter asked.
"No," Laertus answered then pointed toward his face, "This is my Lucianus look."
"And a scary look it is," Autolycus mocked as he pushed the prince toward the door. The thief opened the door and checked both ends of the hallway, deeming it was safe to let Lucianus' doppelganger loose. He quickly ushered Laertus out and once the prince left only then did he then turn to Iolaus and question, "Are you sure this is going to work?"
The magistrate's room was close to the bastille, so Laertus moved up a flight of stairs. Nervous, the sensitive twin steeled himself to play his spiteful brother and his smarmy imitation of sincerity. He wondered how easy it was for his brother to say kind words when his heart knew only evil.
He turned the corner toward the magistrate's room when he saw Anticlea in the hallway.
"Lucianus?" Anticlea began, a frown crossed her face. The prince seemed distracted, and the scowl on his face was more pronounced than usual. "What are you doing skulking around the bastille. Come to visit your friends?"
"Only looking for you, my pet." Laertus purred trying to match his brother's cadence and tone. "What brings you up here?" he asked naturally curious.
"As if you didn't know? Have you forgotten my father was poisoned tonight?" she questioned in annoyance as she rubbed her hands across her weary face. "As if you care, but I'm tired of crying and I'm tired of playing a victim to my father's assassin. I've talked to Alibias and he has promised me that the man who poisoned my father will be brought to justice."
She looked at him with a warning glare. "Mark my words, Lucianus, I'll see him pay for all the pain he has caused me, if I have to wield the sword myself." She moved around Laertus, giving him a wide berth.
He had no doubt that she was serious about her threats, and if he had been Lucianus, he may have been worried. Anticlea had remained submissive and had listened to outsiders for too long. He was glad to see she was finally listening to her heart.
Laertus became encouraged when he saw the fire back in the passionate eyes of his love. It was this fervor for life that had been extinguished since her announced and compulsory marriage, and it was this passion that made him fall in love with her. His sanguine expectation returned, Laertus exclaimed in exuberance, "That's my girl!"
Anticlea turned around and countered in an angered and hushed voice, "What did you call me?" she argued. "Because although you may be my betrothed, you will never possess me, body or soul - not as long as I am in love with Laertus."
Laertus smiled. He had loved Anticlea for what seemed an eternity, but this was the first time she had professed her love for him. It was, as with so much they did, understood but never said, and rarely acted upon. Consumed by the passionate words that she professed, Laertus grabbed Anticlea in a desperate embrace and kissed her deeply.
Anticlea responded by assaulting her lover with a hard slap to his cheek. The rough blow caused the young prince's head to snap to the side. As a result, his phony scar was jarred from its place on his face.
As Laertus rubbed his cheek, Anticlea noticed the fakery. In the dim light of the hallway, with her hand still poised in the air, she squinted to be sure, "Laertus?" she questioned.
She pushed Laertus farther down the hallway and away from prying eyes. "What are you doing pretending to be your brother?" she asked as she pulled the wheat pasted reed from his cheek.
Holding her shoulders firm, Laertus deadpanned, "Gathering evidence against him. Anticlea, Iolaus and Hercules believe he is responsible for your father's poison."
Anticlea turned white with rage and forced herself away from his grip. "But why? I did as he bade, I was going to marry him. He would have gotten what he wanted, the Kingdom of Ionia and the Kingdom of Ithaca. Why would he want to murder my father?"
"He didn't want to wait. He wanted it all. And he wanted to take us down when he took it."
"What do you mean? Where is he?" she condemned through clinched teeth.
Laertus answered gently, "Anticlea, we need proof."
"What kind of proof? Let Alibias arrest him and then find the proof," Anticlea commanded.
Laertus was hesitant to let her in on everything that Iolaus had told him. He wanted to be honest with her, but his hesitancy in answering her questions began to prey on the princess.
"Don't tell me that cockroach has escaped?"
Laertus chucked slightly and kissed her on the forehead. "If only it were that easy. Autolycus and I have him locked up safely in his room, with about...oh...say...three dozen crickets."
Anticlea forgot about her rage for a moment and put her hands against her mouth to stifle a laugh. She had known about his loathing of the little brown orthopteran ever since they were children. "You're kidding? That`ll kill him," she said, her hatred suddenly returning, "If I don`t get to him first."
"Anticlea," Laertus gently warned. "You can't look for revenge right now. There is more at stake here than retribution. My mother is involved, and possibly the magistrate."
"Alibias? Your mother?" Anticlea questioned disbelieving.
Laertus was in a rush to complete his task and knew there was no time for explanations. "Iolaus can explain the ends and outs of it. Let's trust your friend's plan to bring Lucianus and my mother to justice. But in order to do that, I must meet with Alibias as Lucianus first."
Anticlea held up the sticky scar still clutched in her hand. "Um, Laertus, I think we have a problem."
"Yeah, right," Laertus said, perturbed by the way things were going. Urgent to continue, he rashly grabbed Anticlea's hand and they quickly walked toward his room. He knew Iolaus would know what to do.
Laertus canvassed both sides of the hallway before he opened the door and pushed Anticlea through the threshold.
Autolycus rose slowly when he saw his daughter. He steeled himself for the verbal tongue lashing that he believed was about to follow.
"Anticlea knows," Laertus announced to the group. "She caught me going to Alibias' room and I had to tell her."
"That's okay," Iolaus answered assuredly.
Autolycus put a friendly hand on the young man's shoulder to announce his support.
"What can I do to help?" Anticlea asked with no admonition in her voice.
"Nothing now. Just be yourself," was Iolaus' reply.
"It's all over now until the fat lady sings," Autolycus added, "Does she know everything?"
"Only that Lucianus and my mother are involved in the plot to poison King Barchan. In the meantime," Laertus answered as he held up the scar, "Can you do something about this?"
Iolaus took the scar from the prince's hand as he heard the commotion outside in the corridor.
The guards were banging on guest's doors and commanding entrance. They were getting closer. Suddenly there was a rap on Laertus' door. The prince walked up to answer it.
Alibias stood at the threshold of the door. "Request permission to search your room," he respectfully commanded.
Already expecting to be searched, Laertus bid him and his two guards entrance. He silently prayed that Iolaus had found and disposed of all the noxious vials that were planted in his room.
"What's this about?" Anticlea demanded, feeling somewhat annoyed that Alibias did not reveal that this would happen.
Alibias was momentarily silent and bowed in respect to the princess. "We have it on good authority that King Barchan was poisoned and that the poison may well be hidden in one of these rooms."
"I see," Anticlea answered stealing a glance toward the three men. She was hoping to get a hint as to how she should answer the challenge presented by the magistrate. Autolycus looked up toward the ceiling; a decidedly guilty look on his face. She could gage nothing by Iolaus' stalwart expression. Laertus gave her an almost imperceptible nod, letting her know it was okay for the magistrate to conduct his search.
"You may search the rooms, but I want to be in attendance in each room to ensure no impropriety."
"May I request the guests congregate outside in the hall so that the guilty party has no time to dispose of the evidence."
"Do what you need to do to ensure the responsible individual is caught," Anticlea pronounced.
Alibias nodded and the guards quickly ushered out Iolaus, Laertus and Autolycus from the room.
More guards began gathering the guests in the hallway. Hercules, who had been waiting in the room he had commandeered from Autolycus, walked over to his compatriots.
"Well, it looks like Alibias is searching the rooms," Hercules announced.
"I hope the vials are the only contraband he finds," Iolaus said as he looked over to Autolycus.
"This is an outrage!" Queen Kalyptra protested as a guard manhandled her out of her bedchamber, still blindfolded with her beauty mask. She pulled it off with contempt, "Do you know who I am? I could have your job."
"Lady," came the irritated guards reply, "I answer only to Alibias and King Barchan. In his absence to Princess Anticlea. You ain`t one of them so get your royal blue blood butt in the hall, will ya?"
"Well, I never," the queen began to protest.
"That`s right, and you won`t," King Arcesius chastised as he grabbed her arm forcibly and walked her toward Laertus. "Let the guards do their job."
"Where's" Lucianus?" King Arcesius asked when he joined the crowd.
Autolycus was quick to answer, "I think he's in his room. Something was really bugging him."
Alibias quietly came out of Laertus' room, shutting the door behind him. "Guard!" he said to the burly sentry at the end of the hall. Iolaus, Hercules, Autolycus and Laertus gave a worried glance toward Anticlea, whose expression still sported a worried frown.
"We've found nothing in here," he announced to the collective sigh of the four gentlemen standing next to the King and Queen of Ithaca. "Check the next room."
Queen Kalyptra sputtered in disbelief. Lucianus had assured her he had secured the vials in his brother's bedchamber, but either her son was as incompetent as she feared or the nincompoops King Barchan hired weren`t able to find them. She had no choice but to remain silent knowing that anything she may say could raise suspicion.
"Whose room is this?" the guard inquired. There was no answer when he rapped lightly on the door.
"Lucianus'," Anticlea answered.
The guard had remembered the drunken prince that Hercules and Iolaus had helped to bed hours before. He pulled out his skeleton key and nodded in recollection. The key did not open the door. "This door seems to be stuck," he said.
Anticlea walked up and inspected the locking devise. The princess immediately recognized the Hephaestian lock as one that used to secure the empty vault. She looked up at the guard. "It's always getting stuck," she answered contritely. Knowing the thief would be able to pick the Hephaestian lock, she then bid, "Autolycus? Can you help with this door?"
Autolycus pleased that his daughter asked for his assistance looked back at the three men with no effort made to hide his smug look. He then quickly swaggered toward the prince's bedchamber.
"A locksmith?" the guard questioned, not aware of the thief`s reputation.
"Of sorts," Anticlea answered with a knowing gleam.
The two parted and allowed Autolycus to inspect the lock. The thief gave a cursory, bogus glance at the lock and pulled out a lock pick. Working quickly, to show his mastery at picking the security devise, he made a pregnant pause and smiled before allowing the lock to click open.
The guard opened the door to find Lucianus frantically searching for the remaining crickets. He turned toward Anticlea and the guard.
"Out!" the guard commanded, inspecting and then stepping over several squashed bugs.
Lucianus frustratingly pulled himself up from his search. He had caught all but the last of the annoying creepy-crawlies. "Anticlea, my sweet. What's going on?" he asked with an odd mixture of agitation and smarm.
"The guards are conducting a search of the guest's quarters looking for the vials of poison used on my father. Of course, in your case, it's just a formality. They insisted." Anticlea spoke with the same cadence of smarm.
Bowing to the princesses' wishes, Lucianus let Alibias and the guards into his room, as Autolycus helped whisk him out, pleased with the exasperation that showed on the prince's face.
The thief knew he needed to detain Lucianus. If the prince were to go back to the crowd and speak to his mother the jig could be up. He stalled in the only way Autolycus knew how to do.
"Hey, Scarface?" he asked casually of the prince. "It looks like something is really bugging you." He hesitated as if thinking, "Say, it couldn't be. . .oh. . .the thirty or so crickets that I let loose in there, could it?"
"You're responsible for that?" Lucianus asked seething.
"Among other things," Autolycus answered coyly and then apathetically inspected his fingernails.
"What other things," Lucianus asked, concern creeping into his voice. He had decided that maybe he had underestimated the King of Thieves.
"Well, if I told you then it wouldn't be a surprise would it?" came the thief's curt reply.
Iolaus noticed the brewing confrontation between the Prince of Ithaca and the King of Thieves. He could see that Autolycus was baiting Lucianus, either out of spite or in an effort to keep the prince busy until the guards could check his mother's room.
Iolaus knew how exasperating the thief could be, and any other time he would have loved the prince to endure the King of Thieves' droll insults, but he knew now was not the time.
He decided to go over and run interference.
Iolaus grabbed the thief by the shoulders. It was a friendly but stern gesture. "Autolycus, " he began as he apologized to Lucianus, "You're recounting your autobiography again, aren`t you? How many times have I told you, `nobody cares'."
The hunter quickly turned and then pushed the thief toward the huddle that contained Hercules and Laertus. Then he carefully whispered to the thief, "Now's not the time to cause trouble."
Autolycus gave him a scowl and was about to leave when Alibias and Anticlea quickly stepped out of the room.
"This room is clean," Alibias announced and then quietly turned to Anticlea. "well, all except the bugs. We should really call Schwartzenegger." Then the magistrate went back to business, "Which room would you like to search next?"
Iolaus interrupting Alibias. He was eager to get his plan over with and to ensure that the Queen of Ithaca incriminated Lucianus in the process. Even Iolaus wasn't sure how much longer he could hold off the irksome prince.
"Anticlea," he began hoping she would take his direction, "Queen Kalyptra seems to be anxious to get back to her beauty sleep. Why don't you search her room next?"
"Indeed, Iolaus," Anticlea nodded slowly in comprehension, "We have imposed on the King and Queen of Ithaca long enough. Search Queen Kalyptra's room and then King Arcesius' bedchamber, so that they can return to their rest. Barring any more tragedies, there is supposed to be a wedding tomorrow."
Alibias apologized, "Very well. I am sorry, my princess, for all of this." He then proceeded down the hall to the Queen's bedchamber but he hesitated in the corridor for Anticlea to take the lead.
Inside the queen's bedchamber Alibias was quick to find the vial that was hidden inside the decorative urn on the nightstand. Once the first container was found, the guards mounted a frenzied search for other evidence. Brutish about the discovery, and posturing in front of Anticlea, the guards proceeded to wreck the Queen's bedchamber looking for additional evidence.
The guards found the two additional vials, and presented them to Alibias. "We found these. One is full, the other two are empty," the magistrate said as he showed her the evidence.
Anticlea bowed her head in resignation. Hearing from Laertus and Iolaus about their suspicions, she had feared what Alibias would find. "Do what you must, Alibias," she reconciled.
The guard opened the door for Anticlea and Alibias to exit. The guests in the hall became silent as Anticlea left the room. They knew the magistrate had found something. The princess could not look up.
Alibias slowly held the three vials up for the rest of the congregation to see. "Queen Kalyptra," he announced with authority, "you are under arrest for the poisoning of King Barchan, King of Ionia."
"What!" she sputtered. Her face began to turn blue with fury. She looked around the room and then turned to Lucianus, who was still standing beside Iolaus. She pointed a spindly finger at him.
"How could you? You could you do this? I risked everything for you," she spat as her finger shook violently.
"Shut up, mother," Lucianus warned through clinched teeth.
"We could have destroyed that stiff-necked, little princess. We could have ruined her just like we did her idealistic father. You would have been the King of Ionia and Ithaca, Lucianus. You could have had it all. Why? Why would you betray me like this?"
"I said shut up," Lucianus answered vehemently, "Don't you see they set us up? And now you stupid woman, you told them everything."
"Kalyptra? What have you done?" King Arcesius asked, horror spoken in his voice and written on his face. It was clear that he had no idea what his queen or eldest son had concocted.
Queen Kalyptra turned to the King of Ithaca and quickly pursed her mouth shut. In her anger, she had said too much already. She then looked around to the crowd before her. Judgment and conviction held her prisoner in each one's eyes.
Turning to Lucianus, Hercules began, "We already knew about your plot with Queen Kalyptra to poison King Barchan. We caught your little conversation in the hall early this morning."
Iolaus then spoke up, "We also heard about your little scheme to frame Laertus for Barchan's poisoning."
"And we decided to turn the tables," Autolycus finished.
Laertus watched as Anticlea became overwhelmed by the villainy of his brother and mother and tragedy of their senseless plot to take the Kingdom of Ionia. He carefully guided her into his arms and held her, fearless of the two of them being seen together.
King Arcesius turned his back on his wife and eldest child. He then turned toward Anticlea, who was looking solemnly at the reprobates. He voiced in sincerity, "I cannot express my sorrow for what my wife and son have done to you and your kingdom. I cannot answer as to why they did it."
Anticlea understood. She knew King Arcesius to have a kind heart, like his son Laertus. In a gesture of sympathy and appreciation, she gripped his forearm tightly.
King Arcesius turned to Lucianus, and forced himself to look at the malicious child he had spawned. "Lucianus," he spoke, "you have dishonored me and have dishonored Ithaca. You acted reprehensibly and I cannot forgive you. As witnessed by the people of Ionia, I am naming Laertus heir to the Kingdom of Ithaca." Then he turned to Anticlea and returned her sympathetic grip, "Of course, I will rescind the contract of marriage between you and Lucianus."
"Lead them to the bastille," Alibias commanded as two of the guards forced the Prince and Queen of Ithaca around.
The guard pushed Kalypra forward. "Get your hands off me, you brute," she protested as she was forced toward the bastille. Then there was silence.
The silence in the hallway was broken by Autolycus. "King Arcesius," the King of Thieves began as he pulled out a yellowed parchment scroll, similar to the wedding invitation. The royal crests of both Ithaca and Ionia were stamped on the top.
"Where did you get that," Arcesius asked recognizing the marriage contract drawn up between King Barchan and himself.
"For the time being, let's just say I appropriated it," Autolycus answered dismissing the question.
He pointed to a passage in the middle of the royal document, "Correct me if I'm wrong King Arcesius, but the marriage contract calls for Princess Anticlea to marry the heir to the Kingdom of Ithaca." He turned to Anticlea, still clutched in the powerful grip of Laertus, "that would now be Laertus, would it not?"
"Autolycus," Iolaus warned, "what are you doing?"
"Trust me on this, Shorty," the thief answered.
"I thought you wanted to stop the wedding?" Iolaus questioned.
Autolycus smiled and shrugged his shoulders. It could be worse, the thief thought. He feared without a marriage to the Prince of Ithaca, Ionia would be forced to align with another province to survive. A contract of marriage would most certainly be essential to secure the alliance; perhaps to an individual even more despicable than the love struck sap in front of him. Besides, and he would deny it if it were said, Autolycus was just a big romantic at heart. He couldn`t help but want the best for his daughter.
King Arcesius looked concerned, but Hercules spoke up, "An alliance between Ionia and Ithaca is still the best solution for the development of both provinces. I believe that is what King Barchan lived to achieve, and why he was willing to let his daughter enter into marriage with your son."
Laertus in response to the realization that he could claim Anticlea for his bride, fell down on his knee and held her hand in a courtly proposal. "Anticlea, will you do me the honor of marrying me? I love you. I`ve loved you since we were twelve."
Anticlea looked down at the loving eyes that looked up beseeching her. She pulled her hand out of his grip and tenderly touched his face. She then bent down and kissed him on the crown of his head.
"Yes, Laertus. I will."
Iolaus smiled and announced merrily. "Cool. I guess there's going to be a wedding after all."
Autolycus turned around to shield his divergent emotions. The thief once again was giving up his daughter, only this time it was for a noble cause.
"Um, I've got to go, now," the thief said as he walked down the hall and entered quickly into the room he had been sharing with Iolaus.
"What will be done with them?" Laertus asked of his mother and brother as the magistrate was about to leave.
Alibias looked soulfully in the good Prince's eyes. "Attempted assassination is punishable by death. Unless the Princess deems it otherwise." He turned to leave.
Anticlea swallowed, trying to wash away the bile that continued to creep up when she thought of what Lucianus and Kalyptra had done. "Alibias," she beckoned as he walked away. He turned back toward the Princess as she said. "There has been too much talk of death in this palace tonight. Keep them locked in the bastille until I can confer with King Arcesius."
"As you wish," Alibias answered and then turned to leave.
Arcesius gingerly took Anticlea's hand and gently kissed it. "Thank you, but it is late. I do not want to spoil the ceremony with talk of my wife and eldest son. I will see you at the wedding, then? You have already conducted yourself like a queen. You will make a fine wife for my son." Then turned to his son, "Laertus, we need to talk."
Laertus slipped his hand from behind Anticlea's waist and followed his father back to the King's bedchamber.
Iolaus and Hercules were left alone with Anticlea.
"Iolaus," the Princess questioned as the duo began to turn toward their respective bedchambers.
The demigod could see the troubled look on the face of the Princess and decided she wanted to talk to his partner alone. Hercules decided to bid himself goodbye. "I'll just go," he answered reluctantly, "um...check on Autolycus."
"Iolaus," the Princess summoned again, "I was thinking, since my father has taken ill, I have no one to give me away at tomorrow's wedding."
Iolaus felt sure that Anticlea was going to ask him to give her away.
"Anticlea, I think..." he began, but was interrupted by the Princess.
"I would like to ask Autolycus to give me away. Do you think he would do it?"
Iolaus smiled. To spite his ill-conceived plans and annoying demeanor, the thief had conducted himself like a King when it came to wanting what was best for his daughter. He deserved the right to give his daughter away.
"Anticlea, I think," he began again and then hesitated as he swallowed the lump in his throat, "Autolycus would love to give you away. Figuratively speaking, of course."
"You know, don't you, that Autolycus is my real father?"
Iolaus nodded, "When you were kidnapped. He was worried to distraction so I knew something was wrong. If it's any consolation, I practically had to drag it out of him."
"I bet that was a sight. Can you get him for me?"
"Sure," Iolaus agreed, and quickly stepped into his room.
Autolycus came out a few moments later. The thief had an uneasy look on his face. It was a look that Anticlea was getting intimately familiar with. "Iolaus said you wanted to see me."
"I did," Anticlea answered as she walked up to him and entwined her arms around his left forearm. "Will you walk me to my father's bedchamber. I have something I want to ask you."
#############
"You look nervous," Iolaus stated to the thief as he, Hercules and Autolycus stood outside of Aphrodite's temple. The thief continued to fidget with his top. "You are nervous," Iolaus said, stating the obvious.
"Yeah. Well, I mean, how many times will I get the opportunity to walk my daughter down the isle, anyway?"
"The gods willing, only once my friend." Iolaus said as he placed a reassuring hand on the thief's shoulder.
The door to another room opened and Anticlea stepped out. Both Autolycus and Iolaus gasped at the stunning bride dressed in Ionian gold.
Hercules patted Autolycus on the shoulder and announced, "She makes a beautiful bride. Iolaus, I'm going inside. I'll save you a seat."
Iolaus nodded, not able to take his eyes off the young princess he had known since she was three.
"Anticlea, you look beautiful," he responded as he took both of her hands in his.
"Thank you," she blushed, feeling somewhat shy.
"I bet you're anxious to get this shindig underway, so I'm going inside, now. Besides, If we don't get started, Autolycus here might just make himself sick."
Anticlea looked up into the swarthy face of the thief and noticed a decidedly green pallor to his skin. He smiled faintly and presented his arm for Anticlea to take as Iolaus opened the door.
Wrapping her arms around his proffered arm, Autolycus led his daughter toward the alter. Alibias was officiating.
Iolaus followed behind the father and bride, skirting behind the benches and taking his seat next to Hercules.
"Who presents this woman to be given in marriage?" Alibias asked.
Autolycus looked at his daughter and announced, "In absence of her father, King Barchan, I will."
He then lifted her veil and whispered, "By the gods, Anticlea, you are beautiful but Barchan should be here today, not me."
She nodded, tears forming in her eyes, "Yes, but I'm glad you are here in his stead." In response, Autolycus gave Anticlea a kiss on her forehead.
Representing King Barchan in his absence, Autolycus, as father of the bride, took his seat next to King Arcesius.
Laertus, handsome in a white shirt and black tunic, quickly moved beside Anticlea for the remainder of the ceremony. The bloodshot eyes from his drinking binge the night before could not hide the devotion he felt for the woman standing next to him. Both tried to hide their mirthful smiles and sideways glances, but it was difficult during the solemn ceremony that united both couple and kingdom.
As Alibias wove a ribbon around the two lover's wrists as a symbol of unity, Arcesius leaned over to Autolycus and whispered, "You should be proud. You have a beautiful daughter."
Autolycus, wrapped up in his own thoughts sighed, "Yeah, I do." Suddenly panicked by his admission, he looked toward Arcesius quickly trying to think of a lie to cover the truth. Autolycus expected to see disparagement in the eyes of Arcesius, but only saw the caring admiration for Anticlea on the face of the King. He questioned, "How did you know?"
"Anticlea came to us after the offer of marriage. She wanted no lies at the commencement of her marriage to Laertus, and believed we should know about her new-found paternity. Barchan only recently told her, I understand. Her mother was not of noble birth, either?"
"She was the daughter of a magistrate," Autolycus answered as he watched Anticlea and Laertus light a torch that flanked the alter. The flame was opposite to one Barchan and Amphithea had lit years before. The torches, by some magic of the gods, kept an eternal flame.
"That's okay," Arcesius pronounced, "We'll keep it our family secret."
"Arcesius? Did Anticlea tell you what I do for a living? She has a thief for a father, you know," Autolycus answered in repentance.
"And Lucianus has a King for a father. Look how he turned out. I don't judge a scroll by its parchment, Anticlea doesn't and I would imagine your friends Hercules and Iolaus don't either."
"My friends?" Autolycus snorted cynically.
"Yes, your friends."
There conversation was interrupted by Alibias announcing, "United in marriage, will the congregation please stand as I present to you the crowned Prince and Princess of Ithaca and Ionia, Laertus and Anticlea."
The couple turned around as the audience in the temple stood.
############
After the ceremony, the group of well-wishers gathered in the palace courtyard. It was a beautiful spring day. The royal banners of both Ithaca and Ionia surrounded the walls of the courtyard and the smell of jasmine perfumed the garden.
Due to Barchan's illness, there was no reception scheduled after the ceremony, and Laertus could tell that Anticlea was anxious to sit by her father's side. His condition had not changed, and the princess continued her vigil of hope.
Hercules and Iolaus watched the Princess of Ionia and the crown heir to Ithaca greeting the guests and cooing amongst themselves. Iolaus reflected that they both appeared very happy. He looked over to Autolycus. The thief seemed more sedate, weaving in and out of the crowd in obvious discomfiture. Iolaus was somewhat surprised that even through the thief's misguided schemes, he knew what Anticlea needed to make her happy. Iolaus appreciated that Autolycus probably knew by tapping into his own sorrowful experience with Amphithea.
Iolaus and Hercules walked up to the thief. "We'll be leaving tomorrow. Want to come with us?" Iolaus asked.
Autolycus answered, "Actually, Anticlea has asked me to stay for awhile." He looked back toward his daughter. "I hope to get the chance to know her better. If I don't screw it up and she doesn't throw me out before then, I'm planning on staying until Barchan..." he shrugged his shoulders but was interrupted by Laertus and Anticlea.
The bride and groom walked up toward the trio of men. "What's this I hear about you two leaving tomorrow?" Anticlea playfully chastised as she kissed Iolaus on the cheek.
"A hero's work in never done," Iolaus added with the same light-hearted humor.
"Neither is a thief's," Autolycus finished flexing his fingers in blithesome avarice. "Um...not that I would ever steal from Anticlea, mind you."
"Speaking of which," Iolaus turned toward the princess, "what happened to the jewels in the vault. Autolycus swears he didn't take them."
"Oh," Anticlea smiled, "when I saw Autolycus was here, I asked Alibias to move them. They are safe under lock and key." She quickly shot a look toward her biological father.
"Hey," Autolycus protested as Hercules, Iolaus, Laertus and Anticlea laughed at the consternation on the thief's face.
THE END
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