The Fringe Benefits of Rescuing Virgins

"Why does everyone keep trying to sacrifice virgins?" Hercules leaned against a tree, breathing hard from running.

"I don't know," said Iolaus, "but it makes me glad I'm not one."

Both men looked over at the recently rescued virgin coming up just behind them.

"What do we do now?" mused Iolaus.

"I can't go back to my village," the virgin, more commonly known as Phoebe, announced. "At least, not yet."

"Not yet?" Hercules looked confused. Not that that's particularly unusual, thought Iolaus.

Phoebe was now standing very close to Hercules, leaning in and running her hand over his bronzed chest. "Not while I'm still a virgin. They'll just throw me back on the altar. But if I'm not a virgin when I go back, I'll be safe."

Iolaus bristled. This wasn't particularly unusual either - women threw themselves at Hercules on a regular basis. Frequently they were young and quite attractive, as this one was. Iolaus didn't like it. But he couldn't blame the women, of course - Hercules just had that effect on people. Tall, muscled, ruggedly handsome, that attitude of 'I'm a demigod but I'm too humble to mention it'... Admit it, you're jealous, Iolaus told himself. And not just because he's getting more attention than you.

"Phoebe, I'm not sure this is a good idea," Hercules was saying, trying to extricate himself from the girl's grip. "I don't even know you."

Always so honorable, Iolaus thought. Of course, that just heightened his attractiveness.

"But it would be a shame for you to risk your life to rescue me only to have me killed later," Phoebe said in what must have been her most winsome voice. "It's the only way to save my life. I'll be so grateful to you, Hercules."

Iolaus knew that Hercules would give in. He didn't always, but when the girl's life was at stake - how could he say no? It's not like bedding her would be an unpleasant task. Alright, he's nodding. Time to head for the nearest inn.

**********

Once a room had been secured from a discreet innkeeper, Iolaus mumbled something about meeting up with them later and started to walk away.

"Oh no, you can't!" Phoebe exclaimed, rushing to take his arm. "You have to stay! They'll never believe me unless I have a witness!"

"A witness?" Iolaus asked, dumbfounded. "What about him?" He gestured toward Hercules.

"He doesn't count. It's the custom of my people to require a witness for acts of consummation. There's always a third person present on a couple's wedding night, in case the validity of the marriage is ever called into question. If you don't stay, they won't believe I'm not a virgin and I'll be killed!" With this last statement, her voice rose to a wail.

Clearly, he had as little choice in the matter as Hercules. Iolaus followed them up the stairs to their room.

Hercules took him aside in the hallway as Phoebe went on ahead. "Look, I'm really sorry to have gotten you into this position, Iolaus. But if her people are as strict as she says, I don't know what else we can do. I know it's really awkward."

Iolaus forced a smile. "Hey, it's no big deal. We've faced down a hydra together, so this should be no problem."

Hercules visibly relaxed a bit. "Yeah."

"We're best friends, right, Herc? We do everything together, and I guess sometimes that includes... um... stuff like this." Oh, I really should have stopped talking after "no problem." Iolaus could feel his cheeks getting red. "So yeah, just... um... forget I'm there."

Not that I would be able to, the other way around. But I'd probably invite him to join me. If I thought he wanted to, at all.

**********

Iolaus sat in the lone chair in the small room and tried not to stare as Hercules removed his clothes. He supposed he should look at the wall, or the floor, but now that he was here it was impossible to look away. He'd never actually watched anyone have sex before (unless you count that time with the mirror), and the fact that it was his best friend whom he also happened to be secretly attracted to just made the whole situation even more uncomfortable.

Zeus, he's gorgeous. I shouldn't invoke his father's name while thinking about him like that. But the randy old bastard would probably think it was funny.

Once Hercules was fully naked, he helped Phoebe undress. He probably doesn't want to intimidate her by taking her clothes off first. Such a nice guy. Phoebe was definitely beautiful, and Iolaus couldn't help but enjoy looking at her, but his gaze was magnetically drawn to Hercules.

It's not like I've never seen him naked before. We've taken baths together, lots of times. But this... is different. Seeing Hercules naked in a sexual situation was not the same as seeing him wash his hair. Much more... stimulating. Iolaus crossed his legs so his reaction wouldn't be so obvious.

His discretion was unnecessary, as the couple had now moved onto the bed and were doing a very good impression of forgetting Iolaus was there. Now there's something I *haven't* seen before - and wow, it's big. I hope he doesn't hurt her. Iolaus tried in vain to resist the images of what else Hercules could be doing with his impressive equipment right now. It wouldn't be too big for *me*. That would feel so good...

Creaking bedsprings brought Iolaus to attention again. I should not torture myself by thinking about this. I should not. His ass is exquisite... oh, the things I could do with it. I should not be thinking about this.

Iolaus tried looking at an interesting stain on the wall for a few moments, but he couldn't ignore the murmurs coming from the bed. Hercules was paying careful attention to arousing Phoebe, and by the look on her face he was succeeding admirably. I bet he wants to make sure it's as pleasurable for her as possible. Such a considerate lover. Why haven't I made a pass at him before?

"Oh, Hercules!" lilted a feminine voice.

Right, because he's Hercules and everyone in the known world wants to sleep with him. Including gorgeous young virgins and probably lots of strapping boys with tight asses. What would he want with me?

Iolaus' bout of self-deprecation was interrupted by the main event beginning on the bed in front of him. From his vantage point he couldn't see much of Phoebe other than her legs, but he could definitely see Hercules - tousled hair falling on broad shoulders, strong arms holding himself up effortlessly, that perfect ass moving back and forth as he thrust. Iolaus could almost pretend that he was on the bed with Hercules. Though if it were me, he could be a little less gentle. I'd give him the ride of his life.

As hard as he was, Iolaus was sorely tempted to take himself in hand, but he was afraid that the other inhabitants of the room would notice. Maybe they're so distracted they'd never know? No. I do not want to be caught jerking off while staring at my best friend naked in bed with a girl. Not that I don't do it plenty while thinking about him naked and in bed with me. And tonight will probably be another one of those times, he thought with resignation.

Iolaus wasn't sure if he wanted to enjoy watching Hercules this way for as long as possible, or if he wanted it to be over quickly so he could find a private place to relieve the ache in his groin. Of course, no one was consulting him, and they didn't show signs of stopping anytime soon. By the gods, he's got stamina! It's going to be even harder not to jump him now that I know for sure how fantastic he is in bed.

The girl seemed to agree with Iolaus' favorable assessment of her lover's skills, as she moaned quite enthusiastically. Hercules was quieter, but occasionally he would grunt in a way that Iolaus found maddeningly arousing.

Even the strongest man in the world couldn't hold out indefinitely, and when they were through Phoebe looked exceptionally pleased with her deflowering. After breathlessly thanking Hercules, she excused herself from the room to "tidy up" in the bath down the hall.

Hercules wrapped a sheet around his lower half and sauntered over to where Iolaus was sitting. "How are you holding up, partner?"

"Holding up" is right, thought Iolaus as he shifted to try to hide his arousal. He could tell from Hercules' raised eyebrows that he was unsuccessful.

"I guess the show was not entirely boring, then?"

Damn him for being so nonchalant about it. "Um... I guess not," Iolaus stammered. "You know, beautiful woman and all, I couldn't really not look... I mean, I tried, but it was kind of distracting... and then I was watching you and..."

"What did you say?" Hercules looked suddenly serious.

Damn it to Tartarus! I said 'you'! "I was watching her and I guess it affected me, you know, involuntarily..."

"You didn't say 'her.' You said 'you.'"

"Well, clearly I meant 'you' in the plural sense, you know, you and her."

"But the plural 'you' does, in fact, include me."

"Well, yes, technically..." Iolaus fretted that his nervous tone of voice wasn't helping to convince Hercules that he wasn't lusting after him.

"Technically?"

Am I hallucinating, or does he look kind of saucy? Like he might be hitting on me? Clearly this situation is making me delirious.

Hercules knelt in front of Iolaus' chair so he could look straight into his eyes. "So what I guess I'm wondering is, if your reaction could be attributed solely to the presence of the nubile young woman in the room, or if I might have had something to do with it."

Iolaus briefly considered denying everything, but then he thought, What the hell. He obviously intends to go there. Might as well get the confession over with.

"Okay, fine, I might have been watching you, as in 'you' singular, and I might find you kind of attractive. In this situation. Which, you'll admit, is extremely unusual and shouldn't be construed as affecting our daily life... What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks like you're about to unfasten my pants, but that cannot be what you're actually doing."

"Why not?" Hercules looked at him as though nothing could be more rational.

"Because... um..." Just now, as Hercules' fingers continued to work the fastenings on his pants, Iolaus was having a very hard time coming up with a reason why not. "Because... Phoebe might come back!" He knew there was a reason.

"So? She already got hers. Now it's your turn. And while I'm afraid my recovery time isn't what it used to be, there are other things I can do for you." Having succeeded with the pants, Hercules dipped his head toward Iolaus' lap.

"Herc, wait! You don't have to do this. Really. I know you got me into this, but you don't have to get me off. I don't want you to feel obligated..."

"Iolaus, I want to." Hercules looked at him with that intense gaze that meant he was serious. "I've wanted to for a long time. Really. Now shut up and let me do it."

"Um... okay." Not the most romantic capitulation, but hey... Oh, gods, that feels good. Oh, yeah... Thank you, Zeus, for giving your son such a remarkable tongue... I love my life... Oh, yeah, Herc, right there...

Iolaus' thoughts quickly descended into incoherence, and he might even have made some undignified noises before Hercules finished him off. Looking down, he saw a very satisfied smirk on his friend's face. He certainly looks pleased with himself. But then, I'm pretty pleased with him right now too.

**********

When their no-longer-virginal companion returned to the room, she found Hercules and Iolaus already entwined in the large bed. "Don't mind us," Hercules murmured sleepily. "There's plenty of room for three."

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