Judgement

by silvina

Disclaimer: Standard Disclaimer. In the zone between "we're not gay," and "everyone is gay," there exists . . ."Heh?" --smile and nod. Just smile and nod. Please send comments, questions, compliments, and otters to sdelcul@yahoo.com.

Author's Notes:

Story Notes:


"Are you gay?"

It was a credit either to being a Canadian Mountie or perhaps just to being Fraser, in love with Ray, that he didn't question the question before answering. "Not particularly."

Ray looked up from where he'd been rubbing a slightly worn spot on their dark green, 300 thread count sheets. "Meaning?"

He didn't understand the question. "Meaning?"

"I'm a forty-year old, divorced, Italian Catholic man. I'm sleeping with a forty-year old Canadian man. Notice where I said man?"

"I'm not sure I understand the emphasis, Ray."

"Not to be crude about something I very much enjoyed doing, but what about last night? Having sex with a man is not my idea of a straight man."

"We made love."

"Yes, but that's not the point. How can I still go around calling myself straight?"

He put down his book, realizing that the question was serious. "That raises several questions. Who's asking? Sexual orientation is a personal decision that, while usually matching up with who you sleep with, doesn't have to. Perhaps some definitions would place you as homosexual because you're involved with another man, while others, since you were both married to and attracted to women, would categorize you as bisexual. Many definitions would classify you as heterosexual, because you are primarily attracted to women. Which definition, if any, you choose to accept is a personal decision."

"So what do you consider yourself?"

"If I had to use the standard American terminology of homosexual, bisexual, or heterosexual, I would consider myself bisexual. Gender has never been an important determinant for me. My feelings for you are not because you're a man, nor are they in spite of your gender. Your gender, in this question, is immaterial to me."

"What does that make me then? Immaterial?" He dropped onto his back and let out a sigh of frustration.

"Ray? Where is this coming from?"

"I don't know. Just thinking deep thoughts." He tried to pass it off as a grim joke, but it fell flat.

"Only one definition matters at all, Ray. Yours. You can define yourself by sexual orientation, national orientation, marriage status, or gender, but you're still the same person. Does that help?"

"Yeah, actually. It does." Ray yawned.

Ben turned off the light. "Good night, Ray."

"Night, Benny. Love you."


End Judgement by silvina: sdelcul@yahoo.com

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