Disclaimer: Alliance owns Benton and Ray. 

I apologize for this.

Tired
by
Rae
******

He brushed aside the paper on which his name had been hastily scribbled
and pushed down the play button on the recorder. 

*click*

There is silence first. Then a voice, familiar and slightly softened
begins to speak to him. 

"I wanted to write this, 'cause somehow that seemed more personal, but
I,er, couldn't. I kept staring at that paper and wondering just what
hell I was supposed to say. Don't know what makes it so hard. Normally
I feel like I can talk to ya, tell ya anything. But since I can't seem
to write it down, I'm gonna put it on tape instead. I don't have many
friends.  Actually, yer probably the only one. Everyone
else just screws me over, walks away.....or looses interest. And I have
to ask myself, how long before you do too? You don't think you ever will,
Fraser, but you will. You'll loose interest. Who knows, maybe ya already
have. It isn't your fault. Just like it wasn't Stella's fault, or Dad's
or Sam's.  There's not much good about me. I have..nothing to offer.
When I look myself, and try to find what's good about me, I can't see
a single goddamn thing. That's probably not much of a surprise to ya
though, is it? S'okay. Everyone I ever knew, in my whole life, considered
me a joke.  Maybe that's all I've ever been. If any of them
knew how close I've come to just...fucking...ending...it. But they never
took me seriously then. Had their reasons, though. I'm such a goddamn
coward. But, again, ya already knew that.  What I'm trying to
say, Frase, is that you were one of the really good things in my life.
And I want to, um, thank ya for, um, putting up with me. 
'Cause no one else did.  Well, guess that's it. There
are other people, but, er, you're the only one I owe an explanation to.
I'm not doing this to hurt ya, partner. I'm doing this 'cause I am so
tired of living.  Sorry for not doing this person, but
I'm afraid to face you. Couldn't--  --couldn't risk havin'
you do something we're both gonna regret later.  Bye, Fraser."

*click*

Benton Fraser sat at the dinner table for several seconds, running his
fingers back and forth over the brim of his stetson. He raised the small
tape recorder to his lips and closed his eyes. "What have you done, Ray?",
he whispered softly. 

End.