Rated PG

Pairings none

Comments email zzzaney@att.net

This is a really sad Christmas story, so you've been forewarned. What did
happen with Stan's Christmas after Stella rejected him in the bullpen? read
and find out.

MEMORIES OF CHRISTMAS

Stan stuffed his hands into his pockets, seeking some semblance of warmth for them. He took his time walking around the streets of Chicago, taking in the bright multicolored lights, the heavy snowflakes falling slowly, coating everything into a sea of white.

There was hardly anyone out tonight, but for Christmas eve that didn't surprise him. The brightly lit store fronts did nothing to cheer his spirits, and he turned down a darker street, where his feelings could blend in with the muted background.

Holidays of late, were always hard for him. Ever since he and Stella broke up, Stan didn't know how to spend them. Every year when they were married, they would decorate the house to the hilt. A huge tree, lights everywhere, garlands...

Normally he wouldn't have done any of that on his own, but with Stella, well, it gave them time together. Some of the fondest memories he had of them were when they were decorating.

Sighing, Stan continued down the street, not really paying attention to the families going to mass, or the last minute shoppers. For him, it was just another time holiday to endure. Just like Thanksgiving, Easter, and the rest of the ones he spent alone this past year. He thought back to the station earlier, where he'd asked Stella out. The embarrassment he felt in front of the guys was worth the risk. What excuse did he give to cover up his discomfort? 'She was never really big on Christmas, or for me for that matter.' If only they had known how it had once been.

Briefly he thought about going over to Fraser's. They could get a pizza, whatever. He hinted about it earlier, but Fraser had already been invited over to the Vecchio's for the holiday. He had Dief were going to go to mass with them, then stay the night. Fraser was quite pleased with the arrangements, though he did look slightly panicked when Francesca sauntered up to him and told him that he could use her bedroom.

Going into his apartment building, Stan climbed the stairs and shuffled to his door. He wasn't in a hurry to get anywhere. Closing it behind him, he leaned against it and looked around at the mess. He really was a pig if he thought about it. Stella used to always get on him about leaving his stuff everywhere.

Stan tossed his keys on the table and went over to the answering machine. No messages. Well that's a surprise, he thought. Stan went over to the window and looked out, not really knowing what he was searching for. This would be the first Christmas that he didn't spend with Stella. Wanting to shake the images from his mind, Stan took a beer out of the fridge before heading into his bedroom. He turned his CD player on, tossed some dirty clothes onto the floor, and cleared himself a spot to lie down. After drinking his beer, he fell asleep to the sounds of Christmas music.

THE END