Mounties and Mayhem: -
By Postcard
Rating: - NC-17(adult situations, drunken behaviour, gambling, sadistic hard core teasing<G>, swearing, near drowning and terrorists.) Humour. Romance. Angst. Violence. Drama. Challenge. Episode Related.
Pairings: - Fraser/Thatcher. Thatcher/Male. Slight Fraser/Frannie.
Teaser: - The Musical Ride comes to England and brings Mayhem along with it.
Spoilers: - BITH, Mask, The Edge, WATEM, ATQH and RWOB.
Disclaimer: - The Due South characters in this story are not mine and anything else Due South isn't mine either. I do not mean to infringe on copyrights held by any copyright holders for Due South. The song "Lady In Red" is by Chris De Burgh and the song "You're Makin Me High" is by Toni Braxton. The story, the songs "Strawberry Blues" and "It's A Runaway," and all of the new characters however are mine (copyright September1999/April 2000 by Postard on all original story content. The song "Strawberry Blues" is copyright 18 September 1999 by Postcard. The song It's A Runaway" is copyright 20 August 1999 by Postcard.) This story is fictional, however some places in the story are real. I have portrayed these places how I see them and how I could use them best in my story, so they may not be portrayed in a true light. The way I have portrayed the R.C.M.P. in this story is fictional and I do not mean to cause any offence to people or places. I do not mean to upset the ex Prime Minister 'Margaret Thatcher' in any way, this story is only fictional and so if you happen to read this no offence is intended. Please do not reproduce for anything other than personal reading without the written consent of author. This story is not written for profit and the author does not give permission for this story to be reproduced for profit.
Dedications: - A thank you goes out to Icecat for posting the story to RSY for me, Anagi for uploading the story to Hexwood for me, and Kris for uploading the story to the Fraser/Thatcher Archive for me. Thank you very much also to Cynthia and MagsyB for all of their helpful suggestions, you've been wonderful, and to Lucky who very kindly agreed to me writing a lift scene. Thanks to Cheryl C Barnes for giving me the idea to put Ray and subsequently Frannie in the story. And thanks also to Blink and Marybeth for their kind comments and encouragement as I wrote the story. This story is for all of you. Thank you kindly everyone.
Author's note: - This story is set in England at the end of season 2 (seasons 3 and 4 haven't happened.) The story is about the Musical Ride touring England and what the Mounties get up to. I thought that it would be fun to 'play around with them in my own backyard' so to speak.<G> A lot of the story is about Meg and Ben's relationship. This story has MagsyB and myself making a cameo appearance. I would like to point out that Sir James Calland is purely fictional and I am therefore not his cousin, it was just a way of fitting Magsy and myself into the story. To my knowledge there is no jazz club called 'Jazzy Blues' I just made it up. There are pubs called 'The Queen's Head' and the 'Red Lion,' but I have not based the pubs in my story on any of them; I just used the names that's all. And there is a Gay Village in Manchester but to my knowledge no one has ever been tied up there! Also, I set a challenge a while back on RSY to see if anyone could fit my song "It's A Runaway" into a Meg/Ben story, and here's my own attempt at the challenge. I hope that you enjoy reading this story and any constructive comments are welcome at postcard@manutd.com
Mounties in Manchester
The First Day
Ground Rules
Daniel stood in the arrivals lounge at Manchester International Airport holding a cardboard sign which read 'R.C.M.P. Musical Ride.' He felt like a conspicuous fool because everyone who passed him shot him a puzzled look. One person had even asked him; "If you don't mind me asking what in the world is a 'Musical Ride,' is it some new tourist coach tour were you get to listen to music all the time?"
Daniel had never met a Mountie before but it wasn't too hard to spot them, they weren't exactly unmissable, it was like a vast red ocean had descended from nowhere. Heads turned to look in awe at the influx of Mounties who came to stand to attention in front of Daniel.
"Hello I'm Inspector Thatcher of the R.C.M.P." Stated a rather attractive woman who unlike the others with her was dressed in civilian clothes.
"Nice to meet you, I'm Daniel by the way." Shaking the Inspectors' hand he added, "Welcome to England. Did you have a pleasant flight?"
"It was…" * What is the word I am looking for? Torture? Nightmare? Hell? I have spent eight hours sandwiched between Constable Fraser and Constable Turnbull. Constable Turnbull was absolutely terrified of flying and has spent the majority of the flight babbling like a child and grabbing hold of me at the slightest movement of the plane. And when we had the spell of turbulence…well that doesn't bare thinking about, I had to literally pries his hand off my arm and threaten to slap him if he didn't calm down.
Constable Fraser didn't cause any external problems but he has no idea of the amount of internal problems he caused me. Sitting so close to that man for eight hours, close enough to touch him and knowing that I can't because it would be unprofessional. *
If the flight hadn't have been so early in the morning she would have downed a couple of brandies and forced Turnbull to do the same but she didn't think that it was appropriate considering the hour of the day and particularly since Fraser was a teetotaler. * No, it was not a good flight. * "The food was pleasant." Was all that she could think of saying.
Daniel led them to a waiting coach and once they were all on board they headed towards the hotel. When they had all unpacked they gathered in the conference room of the hotel.
"First of all I think we will go over some ground rules which I have drawn up for the duration of our stay in England. Fraser will you hand these out please?"
"Yes Sir."
Meg had created the sheets on her computer and on the print outs were written: -
FOUR GROUND RULES
Rule 1: - Best behaviour at ALL times.
Rule 2: - Punctuality.
Rule 3: - NO philandering.
Rule 4: - Uniform MUST be worn at all times.
Anyone who does not comply with these rules will be SEVERELY reprimanded.
"Now then rule number one 'Best behaviour at ALL times.' You're here representing the R.C.M.P. and Canada, don't forget it. Rule number two 'Punctuality.' I expect you to be punctual at all times. You will have recreation time, occasionally during the day but mostly in the evening and during that time you will be free to do as you please. Within reason of course, sightseeing etc. However I don't want any of you late for the Musical Ride because you lost track of time or any other reason that you care to give because it won't wash with me. And I want you all back in your rooms by midnight. Do I make myself clear?"
Meg was greeted with a chorus of "Yes Sir."
"Good. Rule number three 'NO philandering.' I will not tolerate any philandering what so ever and don't even think about bringing anyone back to your rooms, the consequences wouldn't be worth it. Rule number four 'Uniform MUST be worn at all times.' This is not a holiday. I want you all to learn these rules off by heart and anyone who disobeys these rules will be severely reprimanded."
Meg looked around at the terrified sea of faces in front of her and knew that she sounded like a battle-axe schoolteacher but she didn't want another fiasco like last time. The only good that had come from that had been that she had shared a delightful kiss with Fraser. If she weren't his commanding officer who knows what other delightful things they would have got up to! Well actually yes she did know because she kept replaying them in her head, but she couldn't dwell on that now because she had the schedule to discuss with them. Meg decided to speak more softly because she was going to be spending a month with them and she had to try and get along with them or at least be civil.
"As you know the Musical Ride will be touring England for a month. The country has been divided into four sections and one week will be spent touring various places in each section. The sections are the north-west, north-east, south-west and south-east. The first week will be spent touring the north-west and our schedule here is that tomorrow we will stay in Manchester performing the Musical Ride. The day after on a Wednesday we will go up to the city of Liverpool in Merseyside for a brief stop off and later that evening we will travel north along the coast to Blackpool in Lancashire, which is a town and tourist resort. We will be staying in Blackpool for a few days and then move further north to spend Saturday and Sunday in the Lake District in Cumbria. I won't boggle your mind with the rest of the schedule yet as I think that's enough information for you to be dealing with at the moment. Now then Constable Fraser and I have an interview to attend so while I'm gone I want you to concentrate on learning the ground rules and Sergeant Frobisher is in charge in my absence."
The Interview
Inspector Thatcher and Fraser got into a black cab and headed towards Granada Television Studios. After a long and trying flight the last thing Meg wanted was an interview but the schedule had all ready been arranged and Meg had orders to follow it. She had chosen her most competent subordinate to accompany her and after the media coverage of the last train incident she thought that he was definitely the best candidate.
"Now then Fraser let me handle all of the questions unless you are asked a direct question. In that case I want you to answer the question as best you can and please stick to the point. I do not want you to go completely off the point and ramble on about some Inuit tale on English television, understood?"
"Yes understood Sir."
* * * * *
"I would like to welcome Inspector Margaret Thatcher and Constable Benton Fraser of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. No relation to the ex Prime Minister are you?" Asked the presenter for Granada Television.
"No." * How many times am I going to be asked that while I'm here? * Passport Control had been the worst so far. She had shown them her passport and the man there had taken it off her; eyeing her passport and then her as if he thought that it was some sort of joke. He had then grinned like a Cheshire Cat and shouted his friend over.
"Hey Nick take a look at this passport for a sec."
Nick had come over, took her passport and then burst out laughing. "I feel sorry for you having the same name as the ex PM. Well at least you're better looking than she ever was. No offence intended but I'd go and get your name changed while you're here, you'll have a much easier time if you do."
He handed the passport back to Meg. "Thanks for the advice, I am sure that your Superiors will appreciate you giving it to me." And with that she had stormed past them without a backward glance in search of their Superiors. * What a nerve he had telling her to change her name? *She had wanted to sink through the floor because everyone at Passport Control had stared at her. And just to rub salt in her wounds all of the mounties under her command had been allowed to pass straight through Passport Control without a second glance and definitely no comments were made to them.
"I understand that you are here in England touring with the Musical Ride, could you tell us what exactly the Musical Ride is?" Inquired the presenter snapping Meg out of her pondering.
"Yes of course…" Meg explained what the Musical Ride was and the history behind it.
"Weren't you both on the train with the Musical Ride when it was hijacked by terrorists in the U.S.A.?"
"Yes we were," Meg confirmed through gritted teeth. * Why did the presenter have to bring that up? Couldn't anyone let sleeping dogs lie? And when am I ever going to finally get away from that incident? *
"Tell me Constable Fraser weren't you the one who was responsible for stopping the run away train from a nuclear disaster and in turn for catching the terrorists who were disguised as a news-crew?"
"Ah well…it wasn't entirely down to me. Inspector Thatcher, Sergeant Frobisher, Detective Vecchio and my wolf Diefenbaker all played a part in defusing the situation."
"Did you say that you had a wolf?" Asked the presenter surprised.
"Yes. Well actually he is half wolf."
The presenter decided not to continue with that line of enquiry and just shook her head amazed. "Wasn't Inspector Thatcher kidnapped by one of the terrorists and didn't you rescued her?"
Ben glanced over at Meg * 'oh dear!' * He could tell that she was not at all impressed by the question. "Yes it is correct that Inspector Thatcher was kidnapped however I was not alone in…er…rescuing her." Ben could sense Megs' irritation growing at these questions and he was hesitant at using any word associated with 'rescue' for fear of embarrassing her on TV and her subsequently taking it out on him later.
* Charming! This is just absolutely charming they're talking about me as if I am not here and making me look like a complete ass in the process. *
"Oh come on now constable don't be so modest, you're quite the hero in Canada and the U.S.A. by all accounts. You must be proud to have him on your staff Inspector?"
Ben turned a nice shade of red that matched the colour 'Crimson Lake' at the presenters praising.
"Erm…yes Constable Fraser is a good officer," Meg said icily and she definitely didn't sound as if she meant it.
"It must have been a terrible ordeal that you both want to forget."
"Yes." Meg thought * So why the heck are you asking us about it then? *
"It wasn't all terrible," revealed Ben.
Meg looked at him in surprise and then it dawned on her as to what he was referring to; the 'contact'. Meg blushed and in order to keep any dignity that she had left after the presenter had portrayed her as a 'damsel in distress' instead of a competent police officer, Meg shot Fraser a caustic look to prevent him from divulging anything else. He cowered at her look and swallowed repeatedly. * Good I think he gets the message loud and clear. *
"Really? I would have thought that all of the incident would have been terrible? I know myself that I wouldn't have been as Cavalier about it as you. You definitely are something else Constable Fraser!"
* Yes a moron and an idiot. How could he be so stupid as to say something like that to the media? They always pick up on the slightest thing and if they realised what had happened between the two of us on the train the media would have a field day with it. It wouldn't only disgrace and embarrass us both, but the R.C.M.P. and Canada as well. I can definitely kiss my career goodbye to the wind if that happens. Just wait until I get hold of him, he'll wish that he never joined the R.C.M.P. when I've finished with him. *
Meg decided to act quickly at damage limitation, she was not going to take the chance of the presenter bullying Fraser into answering the question. "I believe that Fraser was referring to the horse-riding. Weren't you Fraser?"
"Erm yes Sir."
"I wish that we could have you on our police force. A country can never have too many good police officers."
* You can gladly have him; yes you're most welcome to him. It would get rid of one major problem in my life. Take him please! * Knowing Fraser anything was possible he continually surprised her, by the end of the tour the Queen could have even personally asked him to stay on and be her personal bodyguard. Meg wondered if secretly the presenter didn't fancy Fraser because she was definitely praising him enough and she was smiling at him like a star crazed fan.
'Urr' it made Meg want to throw up. But deep down Meg knew that she didn't want to lose him in her life. Well he wasn't really part of her life he was just her subordinate but any part of her life that he was in she wanted to keep him there.* Damn Fraser. * It was as though with that one kiss he had somehow attached himself permanently to her brain and heart.
"I take it Inspector that there will be no news-crew on the train on this particular Musical Ride?"
"No but I would like to point out that that is not because of the incident just mentioned but because we will not be on the train very long and the BBC have decided that it is best if they set up their equipment to film the Musical Ride before it reaches each various location, instead of following us around on the train." * That should put you in your place, no up start of a presenter is going to catch me out with no decent answer to that question. *
"A list of dates, places and times are running across your screen now and I recommend that you go to watch the Musical Ride as it is a one off experience worth seeing that you wouldn't normally get to watch in England. Well thank you very much for letting us interview you and on behalf of Granada Studios I hope that you enjoy your stay in England."
As Ben and Meg walked out of the television studio Meg turned to Ben. "Fraser I'm going shopping around Manchester as we have an hour or so to kill."
"Right Sir. Erm…would you mind if I accompanied you?"
"If you must. Come on then Fraser you can hold my bags for me. I want to have a word with you about something anyway."
Retail Therapy
Walking around the exclusive boutiques in St. Anns' Square and King Street Ben could sense that Meg was annoyed at him. It wasn't that hard to spot because she was being what one would call hostile towards him. * I was right when I previously thought that I might have embarrassed her by the way I answered the questions. Oh dear! I hope that she doesn't take it out on me for the rest of the tour. She is like no one I have ever come across before; she has a certain knack for making a persons life miserable if you do something to annoy her. I was hoping that this tour would be an opportunity for us to get to know one another better and hopefully become friends, I hope that I've not messed things up already! *
"Sir have I done something to offend you?"
"Yes…no…it's not entirely you. It's just the long flight and some of those questions that we were asked…I should have expected them I know, but…they really, pardon the expression, 'pissed me off.'" Meg was wondering how and where to broach the 'contact.' She didn't want to blast him in the street but she definitely wanted to chew him out. But seeing as he had asked her if he'd offended her she figured that he had asked to be blasted in the street. After all if he couldn't figure out what he had done wrong then it was her obligation to tell him, right?
"What the heck were you playing at Fraser?"
"I beg your pardon Sir?"
"You know damn well what I mean!"
"I'm sorry Sir if I…embarrassed you in any way. I didn't intend to."
"WHAT! You didn't intend to? If you didn't want to embarrass me then why the hell did you say that it wasn't all terrible?" Without giving him time to answer Meg raced on with the blasting. "That could have had disastrous consequences, you could have wrecked my career Fraser. You might not care about yours but my career means a lot to me. I've had to work very hard to get where I am and I am not about to lose if for anyone. Don't you ever pull a stunt like that again. What possessed you to say something so stupid?"
Ben was nearly blown over by her outburst. "I think that you know why Sir…because of the 'contact' the…incident wasn't all terrible because it brought us together," Ben answered softly and then looked down at his boots, praying that she wouldn't slap him because she looked mad as hell.
"Fraser I thought I made it clear that it couldn't happen again?" She bellowed at him on the crowded street. Passers by turned to look at them and some even more curious ones who obviously had no life of their own stopped to watch the attractive woman shouting her head off at an equally attractive man in a red uniform who was beginning to look red all over.
"Yes you did and I have tried to forget but as I have told you before I can't."
"Well you'll just have to try harder then won't you?"
"Yes but I can't promise that I will succeed. Sir how can you dismiss and forget it so easily?"
Meg wanted to screech at him "because I have to but that doesn't mean that I want to or that I can." * How could he think that I have forgotten easily? How could I possibly when he's around me so much, just looking at him makes me remember the 'contact.' *
"Fraser I don't want to discuss this now, that's an order." With that Meg turned around to walk off. As she did so Ben lightly touched her arm. "Sir?"
Meg stopped dead in her tracks and turned around to face him. "Sir why won't you discuss this with me? If you tell me how you can dismiss it then maybe I can."
"Fraser please. Don't put me through this, if you really care anything about me at all forget the whole thing ever happened," Meg said to him with a pleading look from her eyes. Ben nodded his head mournfully.
"I haven't bought anything yet, I need some retail therapy after that interview." * And after everything else. * She turned around once more and stormed off in the direction of Kendals with Ben following at her heels.
Some of the looks they got whilst shopping because of Bens' uniform were definitely 'Kodak moments.' Ben was weighed down; firstly because she wouldn't reciprocate his feelings anymore and secondly because he had ended up carrying lots of bags for Meg. She wasn't joking when she said 'retail therapy' because with each item she bought she had considerably cheered up. Ben was now standing once again outside of the women's changing rooms waiting for Meg to finish trying on another item of clothing, this time a red dress.
"What do you think?" Meg asked smiling at him as she twirled around to show off the dress she was wearing.
He wanted to say, "Wow you look ravishingly sexy." However remembering their earlier conversation he instead said, "You look stunning."
Meg blushed at the compliment. "Thank you."
Going back into the changing rooms she thought about how much fun it would be to torture him for what he had obliviously put her through on the plane, at the interview and just recently on the street. And so stepping out of the changing rooms she set off towards the ladies underwear section of the store with Ben following after her like a gullible puppy.
Meg turned around to look at Ben and it was obvious that he had finally realised where they were because he was a nice shade of dark red. She knew why he was acting uncomfortable but she thought she would ask and make him squirm.
"What's the matter Fraser?" Meg asked him as innocently as she could.
"Er…um…Sir we're in the ladies underwear section."
"Yes I know that Fraser. Is that what's the matter?"
"Yes Sir."
"Oh don't be so coy Fraser, nothing is going to jump out and bite you; except me maybe if you don't lighten up a bit."
Ben wondered if she bit playfully when she made love, that was something he would probably never get to know. She grabbed his arm and dragged him around the ladies underwear section. Meg was really enjoying herself and she thought that she would tease him some more. She picked up some red lace panties because she knew that he thought red suited her, he had told her twice before. Dangling them in front of him she said, "These look rather nice don't you think?"
He swallowed convulsively and his back and shoulders stiffened up. All he could do was nod his head, he didn't bother attempting to speak because he knew that he wouldn't be able to get any words out.
"Here hold these for a second while I look for a matching bra." Meg thrust the panties into his hand.
While she looked for a matching bra Ben thought * well this is the closest I'll get to her underwear. *
Her search accomplished Meg held up a matching red lace bra. "Good I've found one."
Ben's back and shoulders were not the only things that stiffened. Meg noticed his look of total mortification and following his gaze downwards she noticed that his tackle was bulging against his pants.
She stepped forward, closer to him, shielding him so that nobody else would see. This however seemed to make the situation worse. "Fraser get control of yourself, this is not acceptable behaviour." * Don't be cruel, Meg. It's not his fault. You were the one who turned him on by teasing him, * scolded her conscience. "I'm sorry Fraser…I shouldn't have dragged you in here."
"It's not your fault Sir. I'm…I'm terribly sorry to embarrass you like this in the middle of a department store. I…"
"Don't apologise Fraser…I teased you and I shouldn't have," Meg couldn't look him in the eyes when she said that and unfortunately she let her eyes drift down to his pants. Suddenly realising where she was looking she made herself lock her eyes with his. She had to fight the urge to reach out and stroke him, her fingers itched to stimulate him. She wished that she could 'try him on' in the changing rooms. No, she couldn't do that because they would both be arrested and how would they explain themselves to the others when they had to come and bail them out of jail? * Get a hold of your emotions, Meg. You cannot mount Fraser, you're both mounties; how ironic? Well, I might as well buy the underwear, if it has this effect on him, I'm sure it will on somebody else! Plus, it will go perfectly with the red dress. *
"Erm…let me pay for the clothing and then I think it's time that we went back to join the others at the hotel." Meg tried her hardest, but not as hard as Ben was now, to stay business like and professional as she said it.
* How in the world am I going to look her in the face now? This is terribly embarrassing. I can normally keep my emotions in check, but when she started showing me the underwear that she was going to buy, I just imagined her in it, and lost every ounce of control. *
Ben put the bags in front of him and followed her to the cash register. After Meg had paid for the dress and underwear the two of them left the store in silence.
Strawberry Split
Meg stood in front of the congregation of wide-eyed Mounties in the conference room of the hotel. * I'm beginning to wonder if this is such a good idea letting them loose on the city without my supervision. I mean, look at them! They look like a bunch of excited school children and everybody knows what school children can get up to given half the chance! However, there's no way that I'm going to miss listening to the Halle Orchestra. I have to let them out sometime, I can't keep them prisoners in the hotel all of the time I'm not present, or can I? * Meg dismissed the idea. * No, it's only fair to let them do some sightseeing. *
"I have been invited to attend a performance by the Halle Orchestra this evening and if there is an emergency while I'm gone Sergeant Frobisher and Constable Fraser each have my mobile phone number to contact me by. I do not want anyone to phone me unless there is an emergency, understood?"
"Yes Sir," confirmed the Mounties.
Meg was dressed in a long midnight blue evening dress and Ben wished that he were going with her to the performance. But she had explained earlier to Frobisher and himself when giving them her mobile phone number that as part of the 'welcome committee' Sir James Calland had invited her to accompany him to the Halle Orchestra. She had gone on to explain that the invitation was for her alone because she was in charge.
"You had better all have learnt the 'ground rules' by now and I don't want you to do anything that constitutes breaking them. Also I want you all in your hotel rooms, alone, by midnight remember."
"Excuse me Inspector Thatcher. Sir James Calland is waiting in the foyer for you," informed the receptionist.
"Ah right. Thank you. Would you please tell him that I am on my way?"
"Certainly Inspector."
Meg retrieved her coat and handbag then headed towards the hotel foyer. * I wonder what Sir James Calland is like? I hope he's not an old pervert like Henri Cloutier was. Sir James Calland sounded nice enough when I spoke to him on the phone earlier, but you never know, until you actually meet someone. *
"Good evening. You must be Inspector Thatcher; it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Sir James Calland, but you can call me James." Announced an extremely handsome middle aged man as he offered Meg his hand to shake.
You could have knocked Meg down with a feather. She wasn't sure what she was expecting but it most definitely was not this. He was drop dead sexy. His short hair was honey blond and his eyes were a delicate shade of blue grey. His skin was a lovely tanned mocha colour.
"Delighted to meet you James. And please do call me Margaret or Meg."
Ben was walking on automatic pilot to the foyer. He had to see who this man was who would be spending the entire evening with Meg. Ben suddenly felt his heart contract. Talking to Meg was an attractive, charming, well-bread man. And it was blatantly obvious from the way Meg was looking at him with a dreamy expression in her eyes that she fancied the pants off him. * Oh dear! This man is going to give me a run for my money. *
Meg spotted Fraser watching her. * How dare he spy on me? Who does he think he is MI6? Just because we kissed once, does not mean that I'm his property, and that he owns me. Oh good, he looks jealous and so he should be! * "Don't wait up for me Fraser I won't be back until late." She shouted to Fraser across the foyer and shot him a look that only Ben could see from his position that said, "I might be out all night if you know what I mean!"
As they headed for the door Meg sneaked a quick glance at James' backside, mostly for Frasers' benefit. * Oh my! His bums so tight he's bouncing off the walls. This is going to be a very enjoyable evening. *
* Oh great! She's checking out his ass now. I just hope that's all she does, because the look she gave me certainly indicated that she was hoping for a lot more. *
* * * * *
In the conference room the rest of the Mounties listened to Sergeant Frobisher. "Now remember stay in at least threes and either Fraser or myself can be contacted by the mobile phones that the Inspector has given both of us. But most importantly don't lose track of time, make sure that you are back in your rooms by midnight otherwise…well…I don't advise being late."
The Mounties all exited the hotel and the 'Strawberries' split into various directions in their sightseeing quest. As none of the museums were open in the evening Fraser, Frobisher and Turnbull decided to go to a Jazz club called "Jazzy Blues."
They hadn't been in Jazzy Blues long when they were bombarded by women chatting them up.
"Hi sugar! Why don't you slip out of that uniform and get more comfortable?" Suggested one of the women to Ben and started to loosen his lanyard and undo his Sam Browne.
"Ma 'am I really would prefer that you didn't do that."
Turnbull really wanted to have a go at singing the blues and he kept begging Fraser and Frobisher to go up on stage with him, so in order to escape from the women they agreed to sing. Ben decided to sing first and Frobisher and Tunbull did the backing (de der de de.)
Strawberry Blues
The woman I love, de der de de
doesn't want me, de der de de
she acts like our kiss, de der de de
didn't even exist, de der de de
I wish I had a pound for every time she treats me mean_
I got the blues_
Yeah he got the blues (<Frobisher and Turnbull)
I've been down_ and on my own too long
if I cheered up I'd still_ be below sea level
I'm a loser in love
Yeah he's a big time loser in love (<Frobisher and Turnbull)
if it wasn't for bad luck in love
I wouldn't have any luck in love at all_
No he wouldn't have any luck at all (<Frobisher and Turnbull)
I'm the saddest Mountie, de der de de
that ever did live, de der de de
I'm thinking of changing my uniform colour, de der de de
to a darkest shade of blue to match my mood, de der de de
Every time I see her my heart goes flying out of control_
I got the blues_
Yeah he got the blues (<Frobisher and Turnbull)
I've been down_ and on my own too long
if I cheered up I'd still_ be below sea level
I'm a loser in love
Yeah he's a big time loser in love (<Frobisher and Turnbull)
if it wasn't for bad luck in love
I wouldn't have any luck in love at all_
No he wouldn't have any luck at all (<Frobisher and Turnbull)
The woman I've just told you about, de der de de
is out tonight with another man, de der de de
he's gonna give me a run for my money, de der de de
but I'll challenge him to the very end, de der de de
I'm not a religious man but I hope to God that she doesn't end up in his bed_
Take it away Turnbull…
* * * * *
Meanwhile Constable Cherry, Constable Evans and Constable Tagert had got themselves into some difficulty. Constable Tagert was being used as a human dartboard. He was pinned to the wall by darts through the edge of his uniform, narrowly missing piercing his skin and one dart had been expertly thrown straight through the top of his Stetson; securely nailing him to the wall behind him. Constable Cherry and Evans were trying their best to persuade the dart players to release Constable Tagert but to no avail.
The events that had led up to Constable Tagerts' current position had started when the three constables chose to experience a typical English pub 'The Queen's Head.' The locals in the pub had been playing what the Mounties thought was pool and when the Mounties were asked did any of them know how to play because one of the locals called Jack needed a partner, they all said that they knew how to play and that Constable Tagert was the best in Canada. The game however turned out to be snooker not pool and Tagert disastrously messed up the game. Jack and his friends were not impressed because they had had to put money down to play and they hadn't been able to have a game because of Tagert.
Jack and co had then decided to play a game of darts and Tagert feeling terrible about ruining their game of snooker kept offering helpful advise just as they were about to throw the darts. This really aggravated Jack and co but to make matters worse Jacks girlfriend took what you might call a liking to Tagert, because she sat on his knee and kissed him. Jack lost his temper, grabbed Tagert by his lanyard and punched him in the face and that is how Tagert ended up as a dartboard. Jack thought the aspect that Tagerts' name when rearranged spelt 'Target' was hysterical and would not free him.
"Oh no Inspector Thatcher is going to have all of heads on a platter when she finds out about this. What if they won't let him go?" Fretted Constable Cherry.
"We'd better phone Sergeant Frobisher for help," suggested Constable Evans.
* * * * *
Sergeant Frobishers' mobile phone went off just as they stepped off the small round stage. He listened to a hysterical Constable Evans and then turned to Fraser and Turnbull. "It appears we may have a problem. Come on we'd better go to 'The Queen's Head'."
Fraser, Turnbull and Frobisher started to walk down the street towards the pub when Fraser realised that they were being followed by some women from the Jazz club. Noticing that Fraser had seen them the women started to run towards the Mounties.
"Oh dear! I think we'd better run," Ben told Frobisher and Turnbull.
The three Mounties started running down Deansgate and the women picked up pace, chasing after them. "Split up and meet back here," instructed Frobisher.
The panic stricken 'Strawberries' split up, running in three different directions they tried to shake off the women. After ten minutes of running down alleys and slipping in and out of pubs Fraser had finally lost the women. He headed back to Deansgate where Frobisher was already waiting for him.
"Where's Turnbull he should have lost them by now?" Asked Ben.
"You don't think that they have caught him do you?" Frobisher asked with a shudder at what they might do to him.
"I hope not. We'd better go and look for him."
Fraser and Frobisher had been searching for Turnbull for the past half an hour and they still couldn't find him. "What should we do, should we keep looking for Turnbull or go and help Tagert at 'The Queen's Head'? Asked Fraser.
* * * * *
At the same time in Megabowl another disaster was occurring. Constables Redwing, McAndrew and Isamoron were attempting to do tenpin bowling. Constable Isamoron had picked up a bowl and showing off to some attractive women who were watching them he had dropped it. The bowl landed with immense force on his foot. Howling out in pain Isamoron had hobbled backward waving his arms around to keep his balance he had accidentally smacked a woman on her bottom.
"You dirty pervert," screamed the woman whilst she socked him with a good right-hook in the mouth. "Get out of here before I call the police."
Running out of Megabowl Isamoron, McAndrew and Redwing bumped straight into six breathless women. The women exchanged sadistic smiles and each Mountie was locked in a steel grip by two of the women.
"Come with us sugars."
* * * * *
Fraser and Frobisher decided to go to 'The Queen's Head' first and then they could all look for Turnbull afterwards. Heading towards the pub they went past a cinema and glancing at the film titles they both said, "He's in here."
Entering the cinema they walked up to a member of the staff and asked if anyone had seen a man wearing the same uniform as them. "Yes come to think of it I have he's in cinema number three."
"Thank you kindly."
Fraser and Frobisher opened the door to cinema number three and they heard an almighty scream rip through the cinema house. "That'll be Turnbull," Ben said as he and Frobisher headed towards a trembling Turnbull seated at the front of the cinema.
"Come on Turnbull. It's alright," comforted Ben as he helped him up out of his seat.
"Sir the film is terrifying. How can it possibly be alright for children?" Turnbull managed to say in between sobbing.
"Yes I know Bambi can be scary and upsetting."
"The women didn't get you did they lad?" Asked Frobisher wondering if they had done something horrible to him that would explain him being terrified by Bambi.
"No I ran into here and they didn't follow me thank goodness."
* * * * *
Fraser, Frobisher and Turnbull entered 'The Queen's Head' and the scene before them made the Mounties stop dead in their tracks in shock. Constable Tagert was still pinned to the wall with a black eye beginning to develop. Constable Cherry was lying full length on top of the snooker table with an old woman on top of him kissing the living daylights out of him. And Constable Evans was having a boxing match with a muscle bound skinhead.
"Great Scott, how did it get this out of hand?" Remarked Frobisher.
Frobisher went to rescue Constable Cherry; Fraser thought he'd take his chances breaking up the fight and Turnbull managed to unpin Constable Tagert from the wall while everyone was absorbed watching the fight.
"Ma 'am could you um…stop with your current project please?" Frobisher asked the old woman squashing Cherry on the snooker table. She was like a woman possessed; she just would not release him.
Fraser tried to break up the fight but his intervention only made the situation worse because Jacks' friends mistook Frasers' intentions and thought that he was joining in. They didn't think the odds were fair and so they joined in themselves. It was like the OK Corrall. Chairs went flying through the air, bottles and glasses were smashed; mostly over peoples heads, snooker cues were snapped in two… Fraser dodged a punch and then placed his own in Jacks' ribs, Turnbull held his fists up; challenging a man and when the man accepted his challenge Turnbull ran off and locked himself in the men's toilets.
At the same time the fight got more underway the woman looked up to see what was going on and with the distraction Frobisher managed to pry her off Cherry. The noise of police sirens approaching cut through the air and the fight stopped because Jack and his friends tried to do a runner before the police arrived; well as best they could with their injuries.
Bootie Call
Meg sat next to James in the VIP box listening to the performance by the Halle Orchestra, Britain's longest established professional orchestra. She started to hear a ringing noise that she was sure was not part of the performance. * Oh damn! It's my mobile phone. *
"Excuse me for a moment James, my phone appears to be ringing," Meg whispered to him.
Walking out of the concert hall and into the foyer Meg answered her phone. "Thatcher," she shouted abruptly down the mouthpiece.
"Ah Inspector I'm sorry to interrupt your evening."
"What is it Fraser? I told you not to call me unless there was an emergency."
"Yes…well…Sir I think that this is classed as an emergency. There was…well some trouble you see…"
"Get to the point Fraser or I'm hanging up."
"We're in the casualty department at Manchester Royal Infirmary with the Greater Manchester Police."
There was silence on the other end of the line. "Are you still there Sir?"
"WHAT in HEAVENS name are you doing in casualty?" Meg bellowed down the phone at him after recovering from the initial shock of what he had just told her.
Ben cringed and held the phone away from his ear until she had finished ranting and raving at him. "As I was trying to explain to you Sir there was some trouble in a pub called 'The Queen's Head' and we…"
"Tell me later," Meg said cutting him off. She knew that Frasers' explanations usually took forever and she wanted to know if everyone was all right. "Is anybody badly hurt and who is we?"
"No Sir nobody is badly hurt. Constable Cherry has a mild concussion, Constable Evans is the most badly injured he has had to have stitches on his head." * I hope that she takes this next bit well, maybe if I play it down she won't go ballistic? * "Oh and he has broken two of his fingers on his left hand and his right arm is sprained and is in a sling."
"HE'S DONE WHAT? You'd better be drunk and this is some kind of sick joke that you're playing on me! How in the world is he going to ride a horse with broken fingers and a sprained arm?"
"Unfortunately Sir this is not a 'sick joke' as you put it. I am deadly serious and I might add that I am stone cold sober. Furthermore Sir I would never play a joke on you. Sir that isn't the end of the injuries either."
Meg braced herself for more bad news. "Constable Tagert has a black eye and various other bruising. Constable Turnbull…well he has no has no physical scars but…you'll see for yourself, he's…upset. And Sergeant Frobisher is uninjured."
"How about you? Are you injured?" Meg couldn't hide the concern from her voice. She hoped that he was all right, he sounded all right but you never could tell with Fraser.
"No not really Sir just some mild bruising that's all."
* Thank goodness. * Meg wouldn't rest though until she saw him and confirmed for herself that he was all right. "You said that the police were with you, why is that?"
"Due to the fight, but none of us have been arrested Sir. The police wanted to make sure that we were all right and to take statements from us about what happened. It appears that the people who started the fight are notorious to them."
"You were in a FIGHT? Oh this is just great; it gets better and better. This had better not end up in the news Fraser or I'll fire the whole lot of you." * Well, that explains the injuries then. I leave them alone for one evening, just one bloody evening and they end up in a fight and in casualty. I knew it was a bad idea letting them loose on their own. No, Meg, it was not one of your better decisions. *
James came up behind Meg and put his hand lightly on her shoulder. "Is anything wrong Meg?"
"Oh you surprised me. Yes some of my officers are in casualty, something to do with a pub called 'The Queen's Head'."
"What were they doing there? That place is well dodgy the police are constantly raiding it for drugs. It's also got a reputation for a place where hookers go and it has been known for some of them to run a Bootie Call service from the pub. There are lots of better and safer pubs to have a drink in than 'The Queen's Head'."
"Drugs? Hookers?" Meg turned back to the phone conversation with Fraser. "Constable none of you were involved with drugs or hookers in any way were you?"
"Certainly not Sir," Ben denounced in a shocked voice. * How could she even think that I would be involved in such activity, or for that matter condone that kind of activity by the others? *
"Is that everything then Fraser?"
"No Sir."
"Go on." * What can he possibly tell me, that is any worse, than what he already has? *
"Constables Redwing, McAndrew and Isamoron are missing."
"How do you know that they're missing?"
"Constable Grady saw them being abducted by some women and she phoned the police."
"ABDUCTED? Can this get any worse?" James massaged her shoulders in an effort to calm her down. "ummmmmmmm…that feels good James. Yes continue."
"I beg your pardon Sir?"
* Oh shit I must have said that down the phone. I bet he wonders what the heck's going on! Not at all professional of me. I'm turning this conversation into a Bootie Call of my own. * "Nothing, never mind Fraser. What did the police say?"
* What is he doing to her? Whatever it is, it sounded like she was enjoying it. I really need to see a doctor, or maybe a psychiatrist. Anyone who can help me to stop obsessing about her and who can treat this creeping sensation of hate, that I appear to be developing against Sir James Calland. I mean it's absurd. I don't even know the man, and there is no rational explanation as to why I am beginning to hate his guts. Just because he is spending a bit of time with her, and she sounds as if she is enjoying herself in his company, is no reason to hate him. It isn't healthy. Yes, I definitely need to see someone about this. *
"The police said that they'll look for them and…just one moment Sir." Ben listened to a policeman from the Greater Manchester Police and then returned to his conversation with Meg. "Sir the police have found them."
"They have? Good. Where are they and are they all right?"
"Yes they're all right Sir. They're not injured but…well they were found…"
"Spit it out Fraser. Where were they found?"
"In the Gay Village Sir."
"So what's wrong with that?"
"Nothing Sir it's not where they were found but how they were found that you're not going to like."
"How where they found?" Meg knew as she asked the question that she would soon wish she had never asked it.
"They were found stripped to their underwear and tied with their lanyards to a lamppost in the Gay Village. A very nice man untied them and rang up the police."
"Who the hell did that to them?"
"I believe it was the same women who had earlier chased Sergeant Frobisher, Turnbull and myself. The women made advances towards them just like they had with us and when they refused they unfortunately didn't have the opportunity to run off like we had. The six women decided to strip them down to their underwear and tie them to a lamppost with their lanyards as a joke."
"You have been chased by women? I hope that you managed to keep your uniform on Fraser!"
* Women have been making advances towards him and chasing him. What has he got up to? Has he been philandering with hookers? I know women throw themselves at him all of the time, and he doesn't take them up on it, but still he is a man, he might have…He did say though, that he had ran from these particular woman. * Meg smiled inwardly, at the image she had conjured up, of Fraser running around Manchester, while being chased by a pack of bloodthirsty women. * God! He's got me wondering what he's been doing now. Maybe, I should give him a taste of his own medicine, and make him wonder what I'm doing? Maybe, turning this conversation into my own little Bootie Call, would work very nicely? *
"Er yes Sir however in Constables Redwing, McAndrew and Isamorons' defence it wasn't the easiest of tasks keeping your uniform on around those women. I can easily see how their being out of uniform could have happened. I can vouch that those women are exceptionally skilled at removing clothing Ma 'am."
* I can't believe that I am hearing this. Is he saying that those women not only made advances to him, but tried to undress him as well? Is that all they did? Is that where they ended, at trying to undress him, or did those sluts go a lot further with him? He wouldn't exactly tell me if he had fucked them would he? He had every reason to have sex with someone after the way I treated him earlier; shouting at him in the street and telling him to try harder to forget the 'contact.' Maybe this is his way of doing just that? Is he insinuating that he's had sex with one or more of those women to make me jealous, or get revenge? But he said he had run from them. Oh God! What am I supposed to think? *
Meg decided to tease Fraser. * After all, if he is going to play games with my mind, then why shouldn't I play a few games of my own? Besides, I like playing games, doesn't everyone? *
This was actually turning into quite a fun hobby for her. She had immensely enjoyed teasing him in the store but she had felt slightly guilty when his tackle developed a 'hard on'. * Well, at least I know how much he wants me. And if I decided to have my wicked way with him, I wouldn't have to worry about him not performing, everything seemed in fine working order to me. Why should I feel guilty about what happened in the store? If he can't control his body around me, then that's his problem. It's not easy for me either, but I am managing to not dive on him, and order him to make love to me; not that I'd have to after what I saw in the store. Yes, a bit of teasing is in order as a way of punishment for tonight's wanton behaviour. This way of punishing him, is far more enjoyable than shouting at him. *
"Move your hand a bit lower James. Oh my!" Meg deliberately said this down the phone so that Fraser could hear. "Don't be shy James, ahhh yes that feels wonderful."
"You're still coming to the party with me tonight aren't you Meg?" James asked her.
"Yes of course I am," Meg moved her phone away while she said this. "I'm looking forward to dancing on that revolving dance floor you were telling me about." Then Meg moved the phone back so that Ben could hear her once more. "Yes tonight we can show one another our favourite movements but I'm only doing it on the floor James I'm not going to do it in the street, or on a table if you catch my drift! I hope you can keep up with the rhythm because I am somewhat of an expert, I can keep going all night."
* That should get you thinking, Fraser! * "If that's all Fraser we'll discuss tonight's behaviour back at the hotel tomorrow. James and I are in the middle of…" Meg broke off as she giggled down the phone as James massaged an area where she was ticklish. "That tickles James. Bye Fraser."
The Second Day
Tequila Jelly
At roughly three in the morning James dropped Meg off at the hotel. She stumbled through the foyer and into the lift; leaning against the wall of the lift for support she punched in the number of the floor she 'thought' her bedroom was on. As the lift went up she asked herself, * have I selected the correct floor number? Was it floor three or four? * Her brain reeled as she desperately tried to remember which floor her room was on.
The lift abruptly came to a stop on floor three and out toppled Meg. Using the wall as a guide and a form of walking stick Meg made her way slowly towards where she thought her room was located. With an unsteady hand Meg tried to place the key in the lock but it wouldn't fit.
* Oh, I really shouldn't have had those Tequila Jellies; I have a feeling I'm going to regret joining in that particular contest in the morning. * Meg recalled the way they had all lined up at the table and on the word 'go' they had reached for a children's party jelly container tilted it towards their mouths and knocked the jelly back. However she doubted that this particular jelly would be found at any children's party. The contest was to see who could knock the most jellies back without passing out. Meg had won that particular contest hands down because while they were all lying around her feet on the floor Meg was still standing; well just about. She doubted though if she would be standing much longer, these English people sure knew how to party.
Sleepily Meg tried the door handle anyway and the door swung open with Meg nearly falling headfirst through the door. Regaining her balance as best she could she entered the room, leaving the light off because from past experience she knew that the light killed her eyes when she was drunk. She discarded her handbag and kicking her shoes off she hobbled around trying to remove her stockings. With them finally off she proceeded to take off her dress and bra. Leaving her panties on Meg walked in a zigzag fashion towards the bed.
What she failed to notice however was the sleeping figure of the person all ready in the bed. Pulling the covers back Meg slipped into bed and as soon as her head touched the pillow she crashed out.
Due to a combination of alcohol and the phone conversation with Fraser Meg started to dream. The unconscious part of her brain was trying to work out what was bothering her concerning Fraser by giving her a dream with him in and while she dreamed Meg started to call out Frasers' name. Rolling over onto her side Meg wrapped one of her arms around the figure at the side of her, dreaming that he was Fraser she snuggled up to him and calling out his name again she proclaimed her love for him.
The figure at the side of her woke up with a start as Megs' arm gripped him and he felt her body press up against him. Hearing her call out Frasers' name he instantly knew whom the person was that had somehow ended up in his bed.
* Great Scott! What is Inspector Thatcher doing in my bed? I didn't know that she was attracted to me, I would have thought that I was a little old for her. Oh, wait a minute, she keeps calling out Constable Frasers' name. Oh my! She really wants to do that to him does she? Personally, after what I saw on the train, I would have thought that they'd all ready done that together. She obviously thinks that I'm Benton, I'd better wake her up before this situation gets out of hand. *
Sergeant Frobisher managed to untangle himself from Megs' grip and climb out of bed. Standing at the side of the bed Buck apprehensively reached one hand out and lightly shook Meg.
"Er Inspector. Inspector…"
Meg was out cold.
Frobisher quickly walked down the hall to Bens' room and knocked on his door.
"Er Benton, could you open up please its Sergeant Frobisher. Benton are you in there?"
Ben opened the door.
"Is something the matter Sir?"
"Yes Benton we have a situation."
"A situation Sir? What kind of a situation?"
"The Inspector Thatcher kind of a situation. She's in my bed and she keeps calling out for you. I believe that she is…well come and see for yourself."
* Margaret's' in Sergeant Frobishers' room? I don't understand. What would she be doing in there at this time of night? I hope that she's all right. Has something happened to her? *
Ben hurried quickly to Bucks' room and entering the room he nearly tripped over Megs' shoes on the floor. Looking down he noticed the rest of the pile of Megs' clothes. * Oh dear! She's practically naked. *
Approaching the bed Ben was overwhelmed by Megs' beauty as she lay there sleeping. Her hair cascaded onto her bare shoulders and he watched her fascinated that even in sleep she could look so beautiful. He knelt down beside her and she started to call out his name again.
"Yes Sir I'm here."
Hearing his voice in her sleep Meg rolled over to where he knelt and slung her arm around his neck. * Oh dear! She's definitely had one too many alcoholic drinks tonight; she's out cold. How am I going to handle this situation? If I don't handle it right she'll shoot me in the morning when she's sober. * Ben slowly lifted her arm from around his neck.
"She wants you son. Yep she wants you," said Fraser Senior appearing from nowhere. "Oh hello Buck, didn't see you there."
"Yes hello Bob, haven't seen you for awhile."
"Well I am dead. I can't seem to get around as much as I'd like." Then looking at his son he said, "I told you that she wants you son but would you listen to me, no. Well do you believe me now Benton?"
"Oh please dad. She does not want me she has just had a little to much to drink that's all."
"Yes well you know what they say about that, people always speak the truth when their drunk and I tend to agree with that."
Ben ignored his father and gently shook Megs' shoulder in an attempt to wake her up. "Sir! Sir I think you should wake up, Sir!" Ben said softly in Meg's ear.
Megs' eyes slowly opened and when her eyes started to register that she wasn't alone in the room she let out an almighty scream. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."
"It's all right Sir it's only me and Sergeant Frobisher."
Megs' screaming ceased as she realised whom the two men in the room was. "Oh! Bensy it's you. I…I thought were you an intruder," Meg slurred. "What the HELL you do think you're doing in…in my room?" Meg shouted as the situation finally registered in her drunken head. As an after thought she added, "You weren't here to be a naughty boy with me were you Bensy?"
"Er, er, no Sir. I think you'll find that you're not in your room, you're in Sergeant Frobishers' room. Your room is next door Sir."
Looking around Meg giggled. "There's four of you, I didn't know you and Sergy Frobishy had twins Bensy. Good I have two of you now Bensy."
"No Sir I can assure you neither of us has a twin but never mind about that now."
"This isn't my room? Then…then why am I in this bed Bensy? I don't under…understand," Meg said confused.
"It's all right Sir, you were…tired and you obviously came in her by mistake. Don't worry about it, it's er…a simple mistake anyone could have made." * Nicely worded Ben. Although, I'm not too sure that it's a simple mistake that anyone would make. I don't like lying, but I think a slight bending of the truth is in order tonight and tomorrow, if she asks me to explain any of tonight's events. *
"Now then Sir I think it's best if you get dressed and I help you to your own room," Ben said to her using a tone one would use when speaking to a small child.
"All wright then Bensy." Meg started to pull back the covers that concealed her virtually naked body so that she could get out of bed and Ben quickly stopped her.
"No Sir you stay there I'll pass you your clothes and you can put them on under the covers."
Ben sheepishly handed Meg her bra and she tried to put it on but she was in no fit condition to fasten the clasp and so she tossed it to Ben. "I'm not me putting on it."
Ben didn't argue with her because he thought that in her present state it was best not too, he just handed Meg her dress and she managed to slip that over her head. Helping Meg out of bed he fastened her zip for her and decided against getting her to put her shoes on. He didn't think she could walk as it was without the stilettos and he definitely knew she wouldn't be able to walk wearing them, so he rationalised that bare feet was by far the safest way to get her to her room. Plus he didn't want her piercing his bare feet with her stiletto shoe heels.
Gathering up her clothes, handbag and shoes Ben handed them to her and put his arm around Megs' waist and slowly ushered her to the door.
"I didn't mean to come in here, I must have…have looked at the numbers wrong. Yes that's what I did Bensy I looked at the numbies wrong." * That's a good one Meg. You couldn't look at the numbers properly, because you couldn't focus properly. You were seeing double; you still are. *
"Yes well lets get you to your room now and never mind about this Sergeant Frobisher understands, don't you Sergeant?"
"Yes, yes its erm…crystal clear what happened never you mind about it Inspector."
Ben held tightly on to Meg as she staggered to her room next door. Trying to get her key out of her handbag she dropped the rest of her belongings on the floor. Ben propped her up against the door and bent to pick up her clothes.
"You do seem to be having a lot of contact with my underwear recently Bensy!"
Looking at her midnight blue bra in his hand Ben automatically said, "Yes but that's not just what I want contact with." * Did I really say that out loud to her? Oh God! If she remembers that in the morning she'll…like she's going to remember that! She's so inebriated I doubt she'll remember anything tomorrow. Boy is she going to have an A+ hangover. *
"What contact do you have in mind Bensy baby?"
"I don't think that now is the best time to discuss it."
"You're pwobablie wright, owing to the fact that I can see two of you," Meg said pointing her finger in a counting motion at Ben and an invisible duplicate at the side of him. Then giggling Meg said, "I wouldn't know which one of you to kiss."
Ben unlocked the door of Megs' room and helped her inside. * What am I supposed to do now? * Ben thought.
Turning around and facing him Meg noticed the bruises on him for the first time and she gently reached out and touched them.
"I take it these bruises are from the fight?"
"Yes Sir."
"Call me by my first name," * what is my first name? * "Are they sore?"
"Not really Margaret." But he winced a bit as she touched one of them again. Meg looked at him as best she could through blurred double vision and then placed a tender kiss on the bruise.
* Yes, now I remember. My name's Margaret. But I don't know where I am, because this doesn't look like my apartment. *
"This isn't my bedroom, it doesn't look like my apartment."
"No Margaret this isn't your apartment it's a hotel in England. Don't worry about that now."
Meg still didn't fully comprehend but she couldn't concentrate enough to figure it out and so she just dismissed it. She said instead, "Don't get into anymore fights Bensy my sugarplum because if you're dead you'll never wever be with me."
"Understood."
"Bensy you didn't have sex with a hooker tonight did you? You wouldn't do tat to me would you?"
"No Margaret I wouldn't do that to you." * How did she manage to get that absurd idea into her head? It's probably just the drink talking. *
"Good because I only want you to have sex with me."
Ben was flabbergasted, * does she really want to…you know…with me or is she only saying it because she's drunk? I wonder if my fathers' right, about people speaking the truth when their intoxicated? I wish she would say that to me when she is sober, because then I would definitely take her up on it. *
Ben put her clothes on a nearby chair and helped her into her own bed. He then proceeded to unzip her dress and pulled it over her head; at the same time somehow managing to pull the covers up to conceal her.
"Bensy you're not going to leave me alone are you?"
"I erm think that it would be best if I…erm…leave you to go to sleep on your own."
"No please Bensy I don't want to be alone, see there's plenty of room in this bed for the two of you," Meg said patting the space on the bed at the side of her.
"I…" * She finally asks me to spend the night with her, and I can't, because she's only asking me due to the fact that she's as drunk as a skunk. I can't really leave her in this state though. *
"All right I'll stay Margaret," Ben agreed while he sat in the chair at the side of her bed. "I'll stay right here. I won't leave you on your own don't worry. Now you try and get some sleep ok?"
"Ok Bensy on one condition."
"All right what's that?"
"That you kiss me."
"All right," Ben leaned forward and kissed Meg on the cheek. Stroking her hair he said, "Now try and get some sleep Margaret."
The Hangover from Hell
Meg was jolted awake at six a.m. by the demon that is 'more commonly' known as the alarm clock. "Oh God, somebody please turn it off before my head blows up," moaned Meg. To her pleasant surprise, her request was answered and the alarm clock suddenly stopped it's incessant ringing.
* I didn't turn it off so why did it stop? * Meg rolled over to see why her clock had stopped and prayed that it wasn't broken, because the last thing she needed right now was the hassle of a broken alarm clock.
The slight movement of rolling over made Meg's head feel like it was going to explode. 'BOOM.' The blood pounded through her head like a fastflowing waterfall and was just as noisy as one. * Oh fucking hell my head hurts. Actually, where is my head? Because what ever is attached to my neck now, feels more like a concrete slab than a human head. *
Looking towards where her alarm clock was located, Meg saw the angel who must have turned the demon alarm clock off. Fraser sat in the chair at the side of her bed and smiled at her.
"How are you feeling this morning Sir?"
She was stunned to wake up and find Fraser there. She felt too ill though, to be bothered with questioning him at this precise moment. She simply said, "Terrible. I feel like Big Ben is chiming in my head. Do you think you could turn that off like you did to my alarm clock?"
"I've already anticipated that you might be feeling a little worse for wear, and so I have prepared you a tonic. Here, drink this," Ben said, handing her a glass of brown liquid.
"What's in it?" Meg asked. She eyed the liquid suspiciously. It resembled sludge that you'd find in a field after it had been raining, or even worse, a substance found in the vicinity of cows; not very appetising!
"Erm...I think that it's probably best if you don't know."
Knowing Fraser, the liquid in the glass probably was what she suspected it looked like. However she felt far to ill to argue, and at this moment in time, she was willing to take anything that would make her feel even slightly better. Sitting up and pulling the covers up around her, Meg took the glass from him and drank the brown substance.
"That tastes foul."
"Yes 'I know' but it will make you feel better."
Meg slid back down on the bed and buried her head in the pillows. Ben then heard her muffled voice saying, "Oh, I feel so ill that I just want to curl up and die . Fraser, please shoot me and put me out of my misery . Ow my head hurts. I can't believe it's all ready time to get up. I feel too ill to even move; let alone, get up and deal with that rabble. All I want to do is stay in bed all day. Why did I have to drink so much last night? Oh NO! I'm gonna be sick."
She shot out of bed faster than any runner off the starting blocks and dashed for the en-suite bathroom. Equally as fast Ben shut his eyes, because in Megs' effort to get to the bathroom in time she had forgotten, as it was probably the last thing on her mind, that she was practically naked. Hearing Meg throwing up in the bathroom, Ben judged that it was safe to open his eyes again. He looked around her room, spied her dressing gown and standing at the bathroom door; dressing gown in hand, he shouted, "I have your dressing gown here when you want it."
"Please don't shout. You're making my head hurt more."
"Sorry."
He heard the shower go on and after a couple of minutes, Meg stuck her hand out from behind the door for her dressing gown. Emerging wearing the dressing gown, Meg slowly made her way to a chair.
"Do you feel any better?"
"I don't feel sick anymore if that's what you mean but apart from that I feel awful. My head feels as if a stampede of elephants is running through it." As Megs' brain started to function a bit better instead of performing like a pile of mash, Meg wondered why she had been practically naked when she woke up, and what in Gods' name was Fraser doing in her room? * Oh shit! I didn't fuck him last night, did I? I don't remember doing it, but then again I don't remember anything about last night. Meg how could you let yourself get so smashed that you don't remember something that important? *
"Fraser, is there a particular reason why you're in my room this morning?"
"Ah I take it that you don't remember much of the…events that occured last night?"
"Not really. I remember the phone call from you, going to the party with James and…oh hell!"
Meg suddenly remembered the Tequila Jelly contest. * How could I have been so stupid? I'd already had a couple of Vodkas, no wonder I feel ill. But most importantly, what in the world did I do afterwards? I hope I haven't done a repeat performance of the time I had a couple of drinks with that criminal, and couldn't remember what else I'd done with him. It took me a whole month to remember what I'd done, and then it was like having a very bad nightmare when I remembered. Except, it wasn't a nightmare; it was real. *
"Fraser, just out of idle curiosity, did I do anything last night that may have embarrassed any member involved...basically is there anything that I should know about? Did I, for instance, make a fool out of myself in any way, shape or form? I would like to point out that anything I may have done was…well, I wasn't myself."
Fraser paused before answering. * Yes, I think that in order to avoid this question a slight bending of the truth is called for? * "I don't think that fool or embarrass are the words anybody would use." * Well, that's truthful, because everyone would use far greater words than that to describe her behaviour. Plus, some people would chuck a couple of swear words in for good measure. *
"Oh no! Fraser, what did I do and how the hell did you end up in my room?"
"Well Sir, you were…tired…"
"Fraser, we both know I was so drunk last night that I was off the planet. Don't sugar coat me, Fraser. I can take the horrible truth. I'm a big girl."
"All right. You were intoxicated, and you entered Sergeant Frobishers' room by mistake. It was an honest mistake. I…escorted you back here to your room, and I spent the rest of the night in the chair."
* That is not lying; it is sparing her from further mortification. I don't want her to be uncomfortable around me. *
* Oh God, no…* Bits of it started to flood back to her, flashing in her mind like lightening. She remembered calling him 'Bensy' and kissing his bruises. She recalled the way in which he had kissed her check so lovingly, and how he had stroked her hair. However, that was all she could remember. There were large gaps that she couldn't account for, and she dreaded to think what else she might have done. She did breathe a sigh of relief though. If he had slept in the chair, then she obviously couldn't have had sex with him. At least, she hoped that was true.
"Fraser, I'm not exactly sure of what I did last night, because I can only remember parts of the night, but I am sure that I owe you an apology for my unprofessional behaviour. I can assure you that it won't happen again. Fraser, we didn't, did we? I mean; I don't recall us…and I know that you would never take advantage of me but… Fraser, I have to ask. We didn't have sex, did we?"
"No Sir, we didn't. I am glad that you don't think that I would take advantage of you. I never would do anything of the such unless you were sober and one hundred per cent willing. I can understand your asking though. Also, there is no apology needed on your part for last night, Sir. I know that you were under the influence of alcohol and you weren't yourself. Anyhow, I'll leave you to get dressed now."
* Phew! I think I handled the situation quite well. I did the right thing by not sleeping with her last night however much I was tempted or wanted. After what she said after the interview yesterday, she would probably have shot me if I had slept with her while she was hammered. *
Once Meg was dressed; she opened her door to find Fraser, Frobisher and Turnbull in the hallway. "Ah Inspector, are you coming down for breakfast? I can't wait to try the Full English Breakfast. You should try it, Sir. It consists of eggs, bacon, toast, sausages, and mushrooms…" gushed Turnbull.
Fraser and Frobisher watched as Meg turned green as an oblivious Turnbull sprouted off the food. She spun around and all but broke the door down in an effort to get to her bathroom.
Meg headed to the conference room of the hotel. Every step she took was pure agony, because the slightest movement felt as if someone was hitting an oriental gong in her head. Meg had opted out of breakfast. She didn't think that her stomach could take it, and so she had just stuck to some cups of black coffee.
On the way to the conference room, Meg collared Sergeant Frobisher.
"I want to apologise for my behaviour last night. It was totally inexcusable. But I do want to point out that in future, you should lock your door. If you had, none of this would have been able to happen. So, I hold you partly responsible for last nights…event."
"Yes, understood Sir. Apology accepted, it's all water under the bridge. Don't worry about it, Inspector. I hope you can forgive me for leaving my door unlocked. Its absentmindedness on my part. Call it old age if you like. I'll make sure to lock my door in the future."
"Yes, I forgive you, Sergeant. I think that from now on the less said about last night the better."
The Reprimand
Standing in front of the assembly of Mounties in the hotel conference room, Meg tried her hardest not to show her delicate position to her subordinates. She had an extremely bad headache due to the after effects of the alcohol, and she wondered when the tonic Fraser had given her, would start to kick in. She began to wonder if it was really sludge, and this was Fraser's sick way of getting her back for blasting him in the street yesterday, and dragging him through the ladies underwear section of the store.
It was her own damn fault that she felt so ill, she knew that she shouldn't have drank as much as she did last night. It was a habit that she did not too often but more times than she wished she did. And how old did she think she was getting into a Tequila Jelly contest, eighteen? She should have known better at her age, especially since she knew that she had to deal with this bunch of morons today.
They had just finished telling her last night's events. * Count to ten Margaret, or even one hundred if it will stop you from killing them. * She didn't want to shout at them because she knew it would only make her head hurt more. But she was just so angry with them that she automatically erupted like Montserrat.
"I CANNOT tell you how utterly disappointed I am in you all." They all knew she was going to give it her best shot though, and so they slide down in their seats and waited for the ear bashing.
"We've only been here one day, one measly day and what do you do? You cause near enough World War Three and disgrace the R.C.M.P. and Canada. I hope that you are all thoroughly ashamed of yourselves. I even go to the trouble of producing a copy of the ground rules for you all, in the hope that somewhere, in your amoeba brains you would remember them and follow them. And did you? Oh no, that would be expecting far too much from you. I mean, I should really blame myself, for being so naïve as to think I could possibly leave you all on your own for a few hours, and let you do some sightseeing."
When Meg had to pause for breath Ben saw his opportunity and call it bravery or stupidity he decided to speak. "Sir. I honestly don't recall us breaking one rule."
"NO BECAUSE YOU BROKE THEM ALL. Let's go over them again shall we? Rule number one 'Best behaviour at ALL times.' I think last nights behaviour broke that rule don't you?" Meg glared at Fraser as if she were challenging him to dare say anything.
"Rule number two 'Punctuality.' Don't think I didn't check with reception what time you all arrived back last night, because I did. Constable Rawlings you were out even later than I was, 4.30 a.m. Now tell me do you have a watch and can you tell the time or am I going to have to give you lessons?"
"Erm yyes I have a watch and I…I can tell the time," answered a petrified Constable Rawlings.
"Then USE IT in future." Turning to Ben she said with smug grin, "I thought you didn't lie Fraser?"
"I didn't know about that…I mean Constable Rawlings getting back so late."
"Well why were you late?" Meg continued with her roasting of poor Constable Rawlings.
"I don't recall why I was late Sir. Or for that matter how I ended up being separated from the others."
* At least I'm not the only one who got so drunk last night that they can't remember what they did. I suppose that's some kind of consolation! * Meg felt slightly guilty about reprimanding them when she had not exactly behaved well herself last night. * God only knows how many rules I broke! *
"That brings me to another point, Sergeant Frobisher told you all to stay in at least threes. From what I heard from the receptionist not many of you did. That order was for one reason only; your safety and you broke that one as well. Rule number three appears to have been repeatedly broken, all though nobody brought anyone back to their rooms so at least one of my warnings was heeded." Meg blushed slightly, because she recalled how she had ended up in Frobishers' bed, not to mention his room.
"Sir nobody meant to philander, we all tried desperately to…" Meg cut Ben off mid sentence.
"SHUT UP CONSTABLE. You're in enough trouble as it is which I shall get to in due course."
Meg was not in the mood for Fraser interfering in her momentum. In the condition she was in; it was hard enough to think about what she needed to say to them. The last thing she needed was Fraser stopping her flow, and forcing her to try and think where she was up to. She confessed to herself that she was probably being horrible to him, because of her drunken slip up last night. She felt totally embarrassed about her behaviour and about him having to look after her. That was not the behaviour of a competent Inspector. She wasn't quite sure what she had said to him whilst she was drunk, and she wanted to show him that he was just her subordinate, incase she had drunkenly revealed her true feelings for him.
* I can't believe that earlier this morning I asked him had we had sex. I obviously wasn't thinking clearly when I said it. He must think that I get smashed regularly and go on the skid. I was so relieved when he said we hadn't had sex, but at the same time I was slightly disappointed. I might be able to put on an act to the world, but I can't lie to myself. I really want that man, more than I've wanted any man before.
Stop it Meg, you're only going to set yourself up for a fall. I probably only want him because he's 'forbidden fruit.' Yes that's right, I only want him because I really shouldn't entertain the idea. Although, really there is nothing illegal about us being together, officers can date one another, it's just that because I'm of a higher rank than he is it will make it awkward. I've been though awkward situations before, what am I so worried about? It's not like he wouldn't be worth it. You know what you're worried about Meg. You've built up your career nicely and you don't want any scandal that would put a question mark on your record. Our relationship would be probed into and made common knowledge, and my leadership might be thrown into question. And if the kiss on the train was dredged up I would be in serious trouble, because I shouldn't have been kissing him, not when the rest of the officers under my command were unconscious and the train had been overrun by terrorists. I should have been trying to stop the terrorists not sticking my tongue down Frasers' throat. *
Meg tried to focus her mind again on the task of reprimanding her incompetent subordinates.
"Rule number four the 'uniform' rule. I think that tied to a lamppost in nothing but your underwear constitutes breaking that one. And don't give me that rubbish about you couldn't do anything about it. Nonsense you're all police officers you have been trained to restrain people."
"And if all of this wasn't bad enough you have to go and smash up a pub. In our profession we generally frown on that and lock people up for it. I have already been on the phone with the Chief Constable of G.M.P. and I have assured him that this despicable behaviour will not happen again. The costs to repair the damage to the pub, by the way, will be coming out of your wages. And thank your lucky stars that you are not now in a jail cell along with your fellow boxing opponents; who you'll be glad to know spent a cosy night in the G.M.P. jail cells."
Meg recalled how after she had finally finished being sick due to Turnbulls' recital of the Full English Breakfast, the receptionist had informed her she had a phone call from the Chief Constable of G.M.P. The last thing she needed to cope with in the state she was in was a conversation with a high ranking official. She had barely been able to get her brain functioning to do simple everyday tasks like getting dressed and combing her hair. She had very little faith in her ability at that moment to converse coherently with the Chief Constable, but surprisingly it had gone very well. He had given her a slight scolding, for the damage her officers had caused, but on the whole he had been rather good about the situation.
"I am thoroughly appalled that any R.C.M.P. officers were involved in criminal activity. And I am particularly disappointed in the both of you." Meg let her gaze fall first on Frobisher and then on Fraser.
Frowning she went on. "Sergeant Frobisher, you are supposed to be setting a good example. If a Sergeant is involved in such abominable activity, then how do you expect the rest of them to behave themselves?"
Frobisher kept quiet. He didn't know what to say and he wasn't quite sure if it was a rhetorical question; so he didn't want to take the risk of antagonising her by answering it.
"And Constable Fraser, you're on my direct staff, I expect and thought that you would behave better than that."
"I'm terribly sorry Sir. I can only apologise for my behaviour and assure you that it won't happen again."
"It had better not."
Ben bowed his head in shame. He could kick himself for not dealing better with the incident in the pub. The last thing he wanted was for her to be angry or disappointed with him. It was gutting him that she was shouting 'blue murder' at him, he wanted to hear her speak to him like she had last night; only sober.
He was still embarrassed about the 'accident' he'd had in the ladies underwear section and was having great difficulty looking her in the eye. Ben just prayed that he didn't do a repeat performance, but around Meg he found it difficult to control himself. Why did he have to have a superior officer who was so darn sexy? Even when she shouted at him he wanted to reach out, pull her into his arms and kiss her. * Well that's one way of stopping her shouting at me I suppose! *
Ben smiled at the thought and unfortunately Meg noticed.
"WHAT do you find so humorous Fraser? Maybe you could share it with us, because personally I cannot find one aspect of your behaviour that is even remotely funny."
Oh dear! * There is NO way that I can tell her what I was smiling about, especially in front of the others. * Horrible images of what she might, no, would do to him if he did swept through his mind like a unwelcome dark cloud.
"I'm sorry Sir, I didn't mean to…I can assure you I find no aspect of my behaviour humorous. I let my mind wonder to other…matters for a few moments, I'm terribly sorry."
"Oh! Am I boring you? I'm sorry, would you be more entertained if I started to do a comedy act instead? I'm sure that I could rustle up some very good jokes about all of you. SNAP OUT of your daydream Fraser and pay attention."
"Yes Sir." Ben was taken aback by his superior officers' sarcasm, she continually surprised him by how sharp her tongue could be when she was annoyed.
"Now then, finally onto the injuries. You are all here to ride horses incase you had forgotten, how in the name of God do you expect to ride a horse with broken fingers and an arm in a sling?" Meg directed a look at Constable Evans that said 'I wish I could break your fingers myself you idiot.' "If any of you EVER pull a stunt again like last night under my command I will personally break your legs for you instead of some thugs in a pub. And believe me you haven't come up against anything until you have come up against me."
Looking around at the forest of terrified faces Meg knew that they believed her and that they most definitely did not want to come up against her at all. * Good. Maybe we'll have the Musical Ride tour flowing smoothly from now on! *
"Now I warned you all that if you disobeyed my orders you would be severely reprimanded and I keep my word. Constable Evans I have arranged for you to be on the next flight from Manchester to Canada. You leave at 10.30 this morning. You disobeyed my direct orders and that is a very dangerous thing to do. Plus with your injuries, which are your own fault, you are no use to me because you cannot ride a horse. The rest of you can consider yourselves grounded until further notice. And don't worry I will come up with some further punishments for you." With that Meg smiled sadistically at the Mounties under her command.
"Meanwhile I will have to ride in Constable Evans' place until the new rider gets here. I think that a good punishment for you anyway is having to ride with bruises and sore bones. And Constables Tagert and Isamoron, what an appropriate name you have," Meg looked at Isamoron and smirked. "As further punishment you are going to have to wear some makeup to conceal the black eye and swollen lip. I will not have children frightened of you because of your appearance or the general public thinking that you are thugs; even if you do act like thugs."
"I think I've said just about all I what to say to you all at the moment. Dismissed."