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I thought I would do a Part Two of Wind Beneath my Wings from Ray's point of view.

It's still for Maria because it's still her favourite song. Enjoy!



WIND BENEATH MY WINGS II

by Callie


He's looking around the small club, and I can see that his eyes are watering a bit from the smoky atmosphere. Knowing Ben - and I do - he is recording every detail from the candles in the weird red glass bowls to the small dark stage at the front of the club. I think I just saw him shudder - probably thinks Intensity is a loud rock band, but Huey told me they are a country and western band so I know that Fraser will like the music.

It's Huey's birthday and Ben wanted to come along. Me, I wanted to stay at home and eat pizza. So what's new there? But hey I'll do anything for Ben and the killer smile he gave me when I said OK. Ben and me are drinking coke, the others beer, and we are grouped around a small table near the stage.

I take a sip of my coke as I take a look around the place; I can feel his eyes on me, and know he's staring at me. Makes me feel all warm inside that he thinks I'm worth looking at. God I love him. I think I loved him the first day I set eyes on him. All dressed like a Christmas tree, he looked so lost and confused that I just couldn't help hugging him. He spent the whole day trying to prove that I wasn't Ray Vecchio, but somehow I knew - don't ask me how - that he was gonna change my life so I stepped in front of a bullet meant for him. Afterwards he called me Ray, and invited me to go eat with him.

I knew I was lost. That my lonely life was gonna be less lonely. That I would love him to the day I died. We were like two lost souls who had found each other after years and years of searching. I smile to myself. Yeah I like that.

He accepted me as his partner, then his friend, and finally after a lot of stuttering, stammering and blushing, Ben opened his arms. He looked so shy, so hesitant, but hey this was the easiest thing I had ever done; I knew he was for me so I just sorta stepped into his arms. And I never looked back since then.

I catch his eye; he is smiling to himself, and I know where his mind has wandered to. I sorta smile at him as my own memory turns to our afternoon of love making. I can't get enough of him, and whisper that I love him over and over as he takes me thrusting his cock in and out of me. He blushes on cue, and I can't help grinning mischievously at him as I take another sip of my coke.

I turn away from him as the band comes on to play their first set. They're good; I see that Ben is tapping his foot in time to the music and I'm glad that he likes the music. Huey has bought some more drinks, and I notice outta the corner of my eye that Frannie is talking to Ben. He just smiles and nods politely as he gets to his feet.

I can't help myself; I watch him as he walks to the back of the club towards the rest room. Even dressed casually in blue jeans and blue shirt neatly tucked in, Ben walks with an upright stance, back straight, head held high. His dark hair is combed neatly unlike my spikes that have a life of their own. Clean shaven, his skin is smooth, and his dark blue eyes sparkle with love and affection when he looks at me. He shows no-one else the Ben that he shows me when we are alone, and I am glad. I'm selfish where's Ben's concerned, and don't wanna share him with anyone.

Everything about him is beautiful and perfect, and I love him so much its hurts sometimes. Ben still has difficulty saying the words, but I know he loves me. I say the words for him, and Ben tells me he loves me in other ways - like the way he cooks my favourite meal, or how he keeps a store of my candy in his little leather pouch, or the way he holds me as we lie together in our bed. Ben always blushes when I say he gives the best cuddles, but I know he is secretly pleased. It's a sorta silent deal - I say the words, and he does the cuddling, telling me how he feels with touch. I grin to myself; it works for us, and we're happy.

I get worried when Ben dashes off without a thought to the consequences. Irritates the hell outta me when he calmly explains why, and I try not to get mad at him, but he makes it difficult and I have to pace up and down the room to keep from kicking him in the head. If anything happened to him, I think I would just curl up and die. So I watch his back. Just be there for him. And try not to get too mad.

I feel, rather than see him sit back down at the table; I turn to smile at him again. He smiles back, but he's got that funny look on his face - the one that says I love you. I need you. I want to touch you. Makes me feel shy and bashful all of a sudden, and I smile back at him trying to tell him that I know. That I feel the same.

He's grinning now - a foolish sorta grin - guess I managed to get the message across to him. I quickly glance around hoping nobody noticed.

My heart constricts with love for his kind, gentle and beautiful man. Makes a scruffy Chicago flatfoot feel like a million bucks. I have never felt so loved or so special in my whole life. If I have my way - and I will - it's me and him forever. I aint so dumb that I'm gonna let the best thing that ever happened to me get away.

Stella and me were great for a while; I loved her, and I guess she'll always have a little place in my heart. But my love for Ben is kinda different - makes me feel all warm inside. Ben gives me an inner strength - like I could climb a mountain or something in those damn snow shoes without any trouble.

I smile to myself - I'm a man with a plan - when we got together, I made it my life's mission to give him everything that I am. Ben has not known had much love in his life, and I want him to know that he is loved, needed and cherished - by yours truly.

I drag myself away from my daydreams back to our friends. I lean forward to talk to Welsh about the latest Hawks game. Think Ben is a bad influence on me as I have started to support the Leafs. I figure it must be love.

Huey is telling awful jokes - it's his birthday so I chuckle at them. Frannie is holding hands with Turnbull. I think they look kinda cute together, but they're not gonna get away without some teasing from me. Turnbull blushes just like Ben does, but Frannie just grins back, her look telling me that she is gonna get even.

I think Frannie has guessed about me and Ben, but she aint said nothing to either of us. She just turned her attentions to Turnbull - I think it must be something about the uniform. Sure does things for me, and I grin to myself again.

Huey is waving at people he knows and they are drifting over to say hello. It's easy and relaxed and I'm enjoying myself. I'm glad that Ben persuaded me to come even though I really want to be at home with him alone.

Some of Huey's friends join us, and not one to miss an opportunity, I shift my chair closer to Ben's so our shoulders and arms are touching. It feels good, and my stomach starts doing its butterfly impressions at his nearness, his warmth. He's humming to himself enjoying the music. He looks happy.

I listen as the band's manager introduces the next song saying that the requester didn't want their name announced, but the song is for someone they love very much. I think that's really cute. The band begins to play.

It must have been cold there in my shadow.

To never have sunlight on your face.

You have been content to let me shine.

You always walked a step behind.

I was the one with all the glory.

While you were the one with all the strength.

Beautiful face without a name for so long.

A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you're my hero.

And everything that I'd like to be.

And I can fly higher than an eagle.

You are the wind beneath my wings.


It might have appeared to go unnoticed.

But I've got it all here in my heart.

I want you to know I know the truth.

Of course I know I would be nothing without you.

Did you ever know that you're my hero.

And everything that I'd like to be.

I can fly higher than an eagle.

You are the wind beneath my wings.

 

Did you ever know that you're my hero.

You are everything that I'd like to be.

And I can fly higher than an eagle.

Because you're the wind beneath my wings.

You're the wind beneath my wings.

Oh thank God for you.

The wind beneath my wings.

(Larry HenleyJeff Sibar)


Ben's humming the tune to himself drumming his fingers on his thighs. He's sure fidgeting a lot for someone who can stand guard duty for hours without moving a muscle.

He shifts closer to me rubbing his arm against mine. And it suddenly hits me, like a runaway train, that the song is for me. That Ben requested the song for me. I tilt my head and concentrate on the words of the song.

Oh God. He thinks I'm his hero. Oh wow. This beautiful perfect man sitting next to me thinks I'm his hero. Me - scruffy, short-sighted, skinny Kowalski. Kinda takes my breath away for a bit; I wanna wrap my arms around him and kiss him to death. But Lieutenant Welsh would probably have a heart attack or something.

I notice that his hand is still under the table; I take a quick look at our companions and smile - they are not looking at us. I reach down and curl my hand around his larger warm hand. Ben jumps slightly at my touch but turns to me and smiles his best smile - the one he saves for me. I squeeze his hand as I smile back at him, telling him with my eyes that I know. That I love him too.

I don't care what Ben says. Tonight I get to do all the cuddling. We're a duet. We connect on every level. Partners for life. And I offer up a silent prayer thanking who ever's up there for sending Benton Fraser to me.

 

THE END




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