One way of warding off DSWS is to get your lovely Canuck friends to send you eps (Hi Denise!!) and then write Limericks abOOT them....here's The Epic Limerick part two. If I get enough requests, I'll repost the first season limericks....
Please excuse some of the rhymes, which are a bit cheesy. At least I didn't have to rhyme anything with Tuktoyaktuk this time.....
Our Heroes' plane was crash-landed
In the woods, far from home, they were stranded
With Benny gone blind
Their way home he can't find
So it's Ray, saves the day, single-handed
Vault
Ray & Benton get stuck in the Vault
While the villains they try to blow bolt
Water rising so high
Ray's convinced that they'll die
But the robbery's progress they halt
The Witness
Ray's witness has been telling lies
Judge's order for notes Ray defies
Fraser steals a Milk Dud
To help out his best bud
Into jail he is thrown in disguise
Bird In The Hand
Gerard, the Mountie who failed
By insiders, to kill him, was trailed
He and Fraser were shot
In the end they were got
But our heros, the villains, saw jailed
The Promise
Young waifs living out on the street
Steal things from the people they meet
Thatcher's brooch taken too!
But she knows what to do -
Fraser's ordered, the gang, to defeat
Mask
A thief takes an Inuit Mask
Elder's help, our man Fraser, must ask
They make themselves sweat
And the Raven is met
When inside the sweat-lodge they bask
Juliet Is Bleeding
Ray's love-life with sadness is filled
When his first-lover, Irene, is killed
By a bullet for him
An event that is grim
As her heart-beats are suddenly stilled
One Good Man aka Thank You Kindly Mr Capra
The landlord put up Fraser's rent
At him, other tenants did vent
So he wooed City Hall
After climbing a wall
And the landlord's pride they did dent
The Edge
Fraser seems to have lost all his skill
We're all wondering "is this man ill?"
But he regains his aim
Putting others to shame
He's an excellent Officer still
Starman
Ian's Audrey was taken to Mars
So they sought her in hotels and bars
Till at last she was found
Hiding out - safe and sound
With the Army, not in Stellar Cars
We Are The Eggmen
Benton helps a man - farmer of eggs
But on Fraser, a lawsuit, he pegs
Ben & Thatcher are caught
In a hatcher, distraught
They escape by some cunning of Meg's
Some Like It Red
Fraser needs, as our story unfurls
To go "undercover" with girls
So he dresses in drag
And he takes up his bag -
Now he's a young lady in pearls!
White Men Can't Jump To Conclusions
Tyree plays a mean basket-ball
For a crime, he is taking the fall
His friend just won't own-up
Tyree's folly is shown-up
Ben & Ray, in the end, truth recall
All The Queen's Horses
In this one are All The Queen's Horses
The cream of the Mounties' resources
Buck Frobisher too -
Though he talks to the loo
Is still the best man in the Forces
Body Language
Trouble starts when Ben saves a bunny
Ray's pleased, Fraser thinks its not funny
When they visit strip-joint
To research a point
About drugs and bad dealings for money
The Duel
A villain traps Ray in a duel
The felon is awfully cruel
He taunts him with clues
Ray must see through the ruse
Hanging in there - as stubborn as mule
Red, White or Blue
Ray & Fraser get into a stew
When they're hostage to Bolt's motley crew
They are strapped to a bomb
Must defuse with aplomb
Which is it, now - Red, White or Blue?
Epilogue
CBS, please don't make this the end
Les Moonves, we thought, was our friend
But he's taken it off
Let's all hope he won't scoff
At the mountains of letters we send
So we must keep Maintaining the Write
Have the goal of renewal in sight
If we want to see Ray
And our Fraser, some day
Carry on with Maintaining the Right
I'm off to lie in a darkened room now.
Caroline
----caroline@mockett.demon.co.uk------Caroline.Mockett@bbc.co.uk----
"I'm sitting in a closet with a Mountie being licked by a deaf wolf!
It was the wolf, wasn't it?" "Yes, Ray" --------http://www.netlink.co.uk/users/mockett/duesouth.html--------