v:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} o:*
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{behavior:url(#default#VML);}	Red Serge Blues   Lynne Schmidt Normal
Lynne Schmidt 8 496 2000-04-04T15:38:00Z 2000-04-06T00:07:00Z 16 4073
23219 193 46 28514 9.2720		  Alliance owns them I am
borrowing them with no intent of harm...   Title: Red Serge Blues Author:
Lys at lystykds@aol.com Rated: PG 13  No Spoilers No Pairings   	  
	             Red Serge Blues     The RIV rounded the corner onto
West Racine with a smiling Ray Vecchio behind the wheel. He pulled up and
quickly parked the car against the curb. He frowned, no Mountie in sight.
Ray swiveled in his chair and peered through his car window at the entry
door of the building. Diefenbaker stood in the door, rising up on his hind
feet and pawing at the door. Ray climbed out of the car quickly and ran to
the door.   "Hey Dief, what's up ...Where's Fraser?"    Diefenbaker woofed
in the air and turned to run up the narrow stairs. He turned back to
beckon Ray to follow him. Ray trudged up the stairs, "Dang stairs, too
dark in here." He muttered.   At the second floor landing Ray stopped
short, Benton Fraser sat on the bottom step looking at the inside of the
Stetson he held in his hands. His hair was perfectly groomed and he wore
his dress red serge uniform, Ray noticed the neck opening was not secured
on the uniform coat. Ben's arms were extended and resting on his knees,
his pale wrists exposed in the dim lighting of the hallway. Ray noticed
the red, raw cuts left behind from handcuffs still marring Ben's wrists.
Ray lowered himself down to the steps and sat beside the Mountie. He
noticed the large bruise on Ben's neck just below his right ear was still
livid and red.	  "Hey Ben." Ray said softly as Dief tried licking Ben's
face only to be pushed gently away. Ray watched as Dief lowered himself to
the floor and lay with his nose almost brushing Ben's boots.    Ben didn't
answer Ray; he kept his eyes turned down to his hat. He opened his mouth
as if to talk and shut it tightly again. He sunk his head down lower
towards his knees and barely moved.   "Sentry duty today?" Ray asked
quietly tho he didn't really expect an answer.   Ben just nodded his head
before slipping his hat onto his head. He rubbed his left wrist with his
right hand before using his fingers to rub at his eyebrow.    "I can't do
it anymore." Ben whispered, agony rippling through his voice.   "What
can't you do, Benny?"    "I don't think I can," Ben began softly. He began
unbuttoning the red serge coat with trembling fingers.   "Benny, talk to
me here. What can't you do?"   "I can't wear serge anymore." Ben finally
gasped out and looked at Ray with the saddest look in his eyes Ray had
ever seen.    "You can't wear serge anymore. Why?" Ray laid a gentle hand
on Ben's shoulder. "Why?"   "I'm can't. I just can't."   "Ben, there has
to be a reason. You love that uniform. It's part of you, everybody knows
that."   "Don't you want to be a Mountie anymore?" Ray asked in disbelief.
  "I am a Mountie Ray, I think I'll die a Mountie. I just can't wear the
serge anymore."   "This isn't making any sense." Ray dropped his hand to
his own knee and watched Dief watching Ben.   "Well, if you don't wear the
serge, you can't stand sentry duty, and if you don't stand sentry duty..."
he let the thought of Ben's boss run through his mind. He shivered and
said nothing.   Ben nodded his head and pulled himself to his feet. He
jammed the Stetson down tightly over his head and moved towards the stairs
leading to the first floor.   Ray watched his best friend moving away from
him in surprise. Ben wasn't even buttoning the red serge coat. He was
definitely planning on going out into the street in non-regulation
tidiness. Ray followed behind Dief down the stairs and out the door. Ben
was standing beside the RIV, his hands leaning on the top of the car, his
eyes riveted on passing traffic.   Ray unlocked his door and climbed into
the driver's seat. Ben finally opened the door and lowered himself into
the passenger seat after letting Dief into the rear of the vehicle.   "You
gonna tell me what's going on in that head of yours Fraser?"   "I want to.
I just don't know if you will understand." Ben leaned back into his seat
and with a fumbling hand reached for his seatbelt.    Ray looked at his
watch, "I've got an hour before I have to be on duty. Spill. Now."   Ben
sighed and drawing in a breath started talking.   "Red kills Ray." Ben
said. "Wearing red serge is like taunting a bull with a red flag Ray.
Wearing red serge is like wearing a hair shirt Ray. It itches and rubs
your skin raw, but you wear it because you are proud to be singled out to
wear it. You wear it as a symbol of loyalty. You wear it as a symbol of
your country. You wear it to let others know you are there to protect
them. You wear it as a talisman against lawlessness. You wear it is a
symbol of who you are. I can't do it anymore. Red kills Ray."   Ray
watched Ben's lips form that brooding look he wore when he felt
inadequate, when he felt overwhelmed. "Ben, the coat doesn't kill, people
kill. You know that."   "This coat kills Ray. How can you not admit that?
You were there."   Ray fell back into his chair. Now he knew what this was
all about. Guilt. Ben was feeling guilty. Guilty for surviving. Guilty for
living.   "Ben, you weren't the one at fault. It was just one of those
things. We were in the wrong place at the wrong time."   "Ray, I've gone
over it in my mind, until I can't think anymore. Red kills."   "You
haven't sleep much since it happened have you?"   "No Ray. I can't"   Ray
pulled out his cell phone and dialed the consulate. "Turnbull, put me
through to Thatcher." He watched Ben's incredulous look at him as he
talked.    "Morning to you too. Listen I just picked Fraser up and there's
no way he's going to work today." Ray listened and watched Ben beginning
to splutter whispered words at him. "No, he's not sick exactly." He needs
to talk and someone needs to listen Ray thought. "Find someone else to
play toy soldier out front today." Ray paused as he listened to words
yelled into the phone. "I happen to know Ben has a large number of sick
days on hold. He's using one." He snapped his phone shut and turned the
key in the RIV's ignition.   With a glance out his window to watch
traffic, Ray pulled out and drove down the street ignoring the seething
Mountie seated next to him.         Ray drove the RIV weaving in and out
of traffic, for once hitting every green light between his house and
Fraser's. He drove steadily and smoothly once he realized Ben was falling
asleep next to him in the passenger seat.   Ben slumped into the seat and
leaned his head minus its Stetson against the car window. There were deep
shadows under his eyes and his sleep was fitful. His lips moved in his
sleep but nothing came out loud enough for Ray to hear and understand.    
Ray thought back over the last 37 hours. He hated to think what a jelly
donut had cost them. The sun had been shinning and it had been a wonderful
spring day. The three of them, Ray, Ben and Dief and wandered away from
the precinct during their lunch hour. Ben had been wearing his red serge
and seemed to be basking in the sunlight as they walked along. Neither man
noticed as they area they were walking in seemed to become devoid of
passers by on the sidewalks. They were just two men with a wolf out to
enjoy the sun and maybe find a jelly donut or two.    Several crowd
control policemen passed them riding large chestnut horses in full
padding. And Ben and Ray never noticed. Dief ran on ahead and stopped
still as he peered into an alley. He dropped to his stomach and waited for
Ben and Ray with his nose into the wind.    Ben walked forward to stand
near Dief right near the alleys' opening. He glanced up when he heard
voices coming out of the shadows. Just as Ray caught up with him the two
men took note of all the policemen on horseback as well as policemen
wearing riot gear wandering the area.    Ray was the first to notice the
huge, dark limousine coming down the street. They both stood and watched
as the police moved in and around the street keeping everyone clear of the
limo.   So intent on watching the finely tuned performance of the police
around the limo that neither man heard or noticed anything until a very
large man had grabbed Benton and dragged him forcefully over to the dark
shadowed brick wall. Another man covered the large man as handcuffs were
quickly pulled out and forced onto Ben. The large man put his huge maw of
a hand around Benton's neck and digging his fingers in pulled Ben back out
and into the sunshine. Ray had only been able to stand and stare as his
friend was used as a shield by the large man who waited to be noticed as
one of his companions looped a chain through the cuffs that bound Fraser
and wrapped it around his waist and looped it quickly again so that Ben
was effectively on a leash and unable to move his arms.    One of the
horse patrol noticed what was going on because he saw the flash of Ben's
red uniform near the alley. He yelled, "Hey you in the Red. What are you
doing there?"    Ray had been appalled that the rider couldn't see the
chain holding Ben to his captor. He had watched the large man's strong
fingers dig into Ben's neck as he told him to remain quiet.   Diefenbaker
had risen to his feet and stood ready to leap. Ray had whispered his name
and coaxed the wolf back to him.   Out of the shadows, another large,
blond haired man strode with sure steps and quick darting eyes. He had
looked at Ray and quietly demanded the Ray ask the horse patrol to back
off.   Ray had told the man he would try but he couldn't guarantee
anything. He had asked to be allowed to remove his shield from his wallet
and once he had done that he carefully approached the closest horse
officer.   "I don't know who that guy is, but he is using the Mountie for
a shield." Ray had nervously looked around then added, "I don't know what
is going on. But you're going to have to listen or I think there could be
a lot of trouble here."   "That's just it, this is just a practice run."
The officer replied in a whisper. "We're just practicing crowd control."  
"Then what do these jerks want?" Ray remembered spitting the words out
quickly.     Ray realized he had better get to his house quickly. He was
having a hard time concentrating on his driving. God, and he thought
Fraser had problems.     Ray gently shook Fraser awake after he brought
the RIV to a halt in his own driveway. He glanced at his watch. Geesh.
He'd only been gone a little over a half hour and he felt like it was a
whole nother day.   Ben woke slowly and sat up, picking up his Stetson
from the dashboard. He climbed out and stretched then let Dief exit the
car as well. The three friends strode up to the front porch, where Ray put
a gentle hand on Ben's shoulder.   "Let's go in and sit in the kitchen.
We'll make some of that tea you like Ma keeps in the house. I'm gonna put
lots of honey in yours, I think you're still in shock."   Ray led the way
to the door and opened it with his key. He watched Dief fly down the
hallway and heard his mother's laughing exclamation of welcome to the
wolf.   "Furball sure knows the ladies." Ray sighed and moved on down the
hall followed by a chastened Benton.   Rosa Vecchio lifted her head from
petting the wolf and watched the two men carefully as they entered the
kitchen. "I'm going over to cousin Catrina's. There's enough pasta in the
fridge for lunch. You boys enjoy it." She took off her apron and walked
over to them. She smiled up at them from her diminutive height and
reaching up gave Benton a kiss on the check. "You should come by more
often."    Ben grinned sheepishly at her and tucked his head down and
dropped a kiss on her check.    She patted Ray on the shoulder as she
passed out of the kitchen. Ray pulled a chair out from the table and
pushed Ben into it. When Ray found the tea box, he pulled out what he
needed and started making tea. While the water got hot, Ray settled into a
chair next Fraser. Their eyes met across the expanse of the table. Ray
read guilt so thick in Ben's eyes he could almost feel the intangible
emotion.    Ben watched Ray fixing their tea. Dief lay at his feet in a
companionable huddle. Ben looked down at the table only to become aware
once again of the raw handcuff cuts on his wrists. He quickly pulled his
hands back and laid them in his lap. He hated those marks; they were signs
of his inactivity when he should have been moving, when he should have
been doing his job.   Ray noticed Ben's quick movement and tried to remain
impassive. He placed their tea on the table, with Fraser's heavily laden
with honey. Taking a sip of his, Ray settled comfortable into his chair.  
"Ok, Spill. What makes you think you are more to blame than anyone else in
that whole situation?"   "The large one told me. Told me quite joyfully,
that if he hadn't seen my red serge coat, they would have stayed in the
shadows. Nothing would have happened. No one would have died."   "You
believe that piece of shit." Ray shook his head.   "I know what you are
trying to say. But the facts remain Ray, if I hadn't been there for them
to take as a hostage, perhaps they would have stayed in the shadows."  
"You are making what if statements here Benny. You know what if statements
are not logic in its best form in these situations." Ray watched his
friend agonizing over his feelings. Ray knew how sensitive Ben was, knew
that each death he was around truly diminished him.   "Ray, but what if it
was the truth. What if they only acted because they saw the red serge as a
talisman."   "Benny, you are talking about crazies here. They were
watching a police riot control drill, trying to figure out how to use it
to their advantage. They would probably have taken me instead of you if I
had been the one with my back to the alley."   "I don't think so Ray. The
larger one kept repeating the poem, "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Pick
a rose for the dead ...." He paused, "I know it's not logical Ray, but the
man was fixated on red."   "Ben, come on here. The guy was nuts, hell they
were all nuts. All four of them."   Ben's eyes filled with tears. He
remembered being forced to turn around and walk down the pitch-black
alley. It had been one of those alleys in Chicago that never seemed to see
any sunlight. He remembered walking and walking until they came to the
end. He remembered being pulled up short on his chain leash as two of the
men exited the alley first leaving him in the control of the man holding
the chain.    Dropping his head on his hands, Ben could still hear the
words leaving his captors mouth. "Make sure no sees us leaving, No
witnesses." He was pulled back against the man and told to shut up and
look down not up. He was ordered not to look in either direction as they
moved foreword. He saw the open car door in front of him and was forced
inside as he heard several gunshots coming from in front of the car. The
men had all jumped in the vehicle quickly each one buckling up for safety.
The man sitting in the back next to Fraser pulled the shoulder strap belt
down across Fraser and secured him in the seat. Then the man had jammed
the Stetson down over Fraser's eyes. Ben had tried moving to settle into a
more comfortable position only to have the man reach down to tie his feet
together and wrap the remaining cord around Ben's legs up to his knees.
While the car raced down the street, Ben could hear the man tumbling metal
leash over and over in his hands.    Ray watched Ben crying into his hands
on the table and reached over to comfort him. "It wasn't your fault Ben.
It wasn't."   "But those kids died Ray. They shot those kids. They shot
those kids because they saw my red serge as a catalyst." Ben began
unbuttoning his red serge and dragged it off his shoulders and let it fall
to the floor. His white Henley framed his pale skin eloquently as he
looked with despair. "They shot those kids because they saw me."   "They
shot those kids cause they were witnesses to a kidnapping. Yours." Ray
held back a moment. "No matter who had been the hostage, those jerks would
have killed anyone in their way to protect themselves. You got that."  
"But would they have taken anyone else hostage Ray? Would they. The
largest man kept saying, Red, Red, you're dead. While they drove down that
street. It was all I could hear Ray. Red, Red, your dead."   "Ok so the
guy was fixated on the color red. It's still not your fault. You didn't
kill anyone. You can't be superman every time Ben. You can't."   "Ray, I
just want to forget this but I can't. Life is supposed to go on Ray. But
it won't for those kids Ray."   "No Benny, it won't. And maybe if you
hadn't been by that alley those creeps wouldn't have taken a chance on
taking a hostage. But you were there, they were there. You still did
nothing wrong. Not you Benny."   Ray watched his friend sitting in his
kitchen agonizing over the death of two young teenagers who like Ben had
been in the wrong place at the wrong time. One thing Ray was sure of,
someone less sensitive than Ben would not be sitting here filled with
remorse for something he didn't do. Ray glanced at red serge lying on the
floor near Dief. Just what was it going to take to make Benny understand.
Sometimes bad things happened to good people. Sometimes you just had no
choice...     Standing up slowly Ray took his empty teacup over to the
sink and set it down. He placed his hands on the sinks edge and leaned
into the counter for a moment before turning around to face Fraser. "I
don't think we should talk about this right now. You're way too punchy
from lack of sleep and you just aren't thinking right. No one's going to
bother you if you slip upstairs to the guest room and try napping."   Ben
shook his head. "I can't sleep Ray. I've tried." He looked at his best
friend through heavy lidded eyes, his eyes downcast to avoid Ray's
searching gaze.   "Yea, well I think you're gonna try. Humor me OK. Come
on, I'll take you up and make sure you get settled in quietly. Dief will
be OK down here."    "I really don't..." Ben tried to force reasonable
words out his mouth only to be cut off by Ray.   "Listen, you know Ma
isn't going to be home for a while and the house will be ours all morning.
You get some shut eye and then we'll try talking again."   Ben reluctantly
shoved his chair back pooling the red serge lying on the floor into a
puddle of red cloth and shook his shoulders back. He turned towards the
hallway and moved silently through the house with Ray right behind him.
The two men went upstairs to the top floor of the house where the
guestroom was located. Ray opened the door and ushered Ben inside glad to
note that the room had that just cleaned look. Flinging the covers on the
bed back, Ray patted the pillow and stood back. He crossed to the window
and pulled it open slightly to let fresh air inside. He heard the rustling
of the sheets as Ben dropped down wearily and began unlacing his boots. It
didn't take long for the Mountie to lie back on the bed and cross his arms
over his face. Ray flipped the covers over Ben and left the room quietly. 
    Ray took Ben's red serge coat and hung it on the coat rack by the
front door. He went into the kitchen and put away the tea things and
washed the cups he and Ben had used. Then he picked up the phone and
called his boss, Lt. Welsh.   "Hey Franny, put me through to the
Lieutenant will ya. Thanks." Ray tapped the toe of his shoe against the
floor as he waited. "Yea, it's me. Listen, I went to pick Ben up this
morning and he's in bad shape." He listened for a minute. "I don't think
they debrief their officers sir. Ben is not dealing with this well at
all." He listened again with a slight smile on his face. "Thanks, I've got
him here at the house." Ray hung the phone up glad he had Welsh for a
boss.   Ray wandered into the living room and picked up the TV remote. The
last person to use the TV had left it set to the 24 hour Chicago news
station. When the picture came on there was Ben's picture on the screen.
Ben surrounded by several firemen as they pulled open the car door so they
could pull Ben out of the car. There for the entire city to see was Ben
seat belted in the car and unable to move. The camera man made sure he got
in nice and tight, the rope around Ben's ankles was visible as was the
chain around his waist and the fact that Ben's arms were pinned behind him
was quite clear in the video image.    Sitting slack jawed from shock; Ray
listened to the newscaster describing Ben's kidnapping, the death of the
two teens and Ben's rescue by police after a three-block car chase. The
cameraman pulled back to show the audience the resulting wreck that had
halted the kidnappers getaway. The driver had been killed on impact; the
other three men were badly shaken up. Only Ben seemed to have escaped
minus any injuries. Ray watched fascinated as Ben was lifted from the
vehicle and placed on a gurney. He watched as they removed the rope from
his ankles and legs and used huge metal cutters to remove the chain and
cuffs. Ray had been there but at the time all he had been able to do was
answer questions and repeat over and over what had happened to the
investigating officers. Now he sat too stunned to move as he watched Ben
handled like a puppet and carefully put in the back of the Emergency
Vehicle. He remembered how the dazed Ben had refused a ride to the
hospital seeking escape from authorities quickly. It was more than obvious
to Ray now that Ben shouldn't have been allowed to escape treatment that
easily. God he hoped Ben would find some sleep upstairs.     Ben's body
betrayed him shortly after Ray closed the door. He fell into a deep sleep
and hardly moved for a couple of hours.        The front door of the
Vecchio home slammed shut as Maria and Tony's children trooped in from
school. The oldest one noticed Uncle Ray sleeping on the sofa and motioned
the other kids to be quiet. Dief trotted up to them and with a little wolf
dance begged them to go outside with him.    The middle child, usually
left out of major decisions by the group noticed Uncle Ben's red serge
coat hanging in the hall. The little boy reverently ran his hand over and
over the material. Uncle Ben was the man he most admired in the world.
Carefully he lifted the coat down held on to it. He watched the others
running quietly down the hall with Dief and his decision was quickly made.
Uncle Ben wouldn't mind. The boy put the red serge on and carefully rolled
the sleeves back before buttoning it right up to his neck.    Glancing at
himself in the hall mirror, the boy smiled. Emboldened by his reflection
in the mirror, he ran down the hall to join the other kids in the
backyard. Everyone stopped to stare at him. The littlest child ran up and
touched the red serge lightly before asking if Uncle Ben knew about the
coat.    "I'm sure he won't mind." The boy responded. "Come on lets go
walking around the house. I'm the leader." And he marched out towards the
front of the house where the yard was much smaller.    The littlest child
carried her large soccer ball and ran delightedly after the group. Dief
ran beside her enjoying the sound of the children as they ran or skipped
towards the front of the house.    As they ran, the children followed the
red serge coat without question. A game of follow the leader began amongst
the giggling children. This was followed by a game of statues. The little
child with the soccer ball placed her ball on the ground and joined
merrily in with the group activity. Red Serge was the swinger and he swung
each child with great gusto. The oldest child landed in a huddle on the
ground, his right foot connecting with the soccer ball which began rolling
towards the street. Its little owner shrieked, "MY ball, a car will get
it." She began to move out of frozen position to chase it.   "I'll get it,
you know you can't go into the street." Red Serge yelled and he proceeded
to dash towards the ball rolling towards the street. He yelled over his
shoulder, "Don't worry, I'll get it for you."    The ball rolled out into
the middle of the street and swirled there as if it was making a decision
where to roll next. The boy ran out to grab it forgetting to look both
ways for approaching cars.    Screeching brakes filled the air as a car
slid to a halt inches from the child as he bent over the ball to pick it
up. A woman screamed and then could be heard crying as she sat behind the
wheel of the car. With shaking hands she opened her car door and ran up to
the red serge clad boy. She knelt down and carefully looked him over,
"Thank God." She dropped to the ground to sit there crying.       The
sound of the screeching brakes woke Ben from the first sound sleep he had
had in days. Then he heard the sounds of the woman crying drifted in
through the window, He rushed to the bedroom window to look out. He was
flying out of the room in seconds and nearly riding the stair railings on
his way to the first floor. He ran out the front door letting it slam
behind him, which finally woke Ray, as he lay sprawled on the sofa.    Ben
flew out into to the street to kneel by Maria's son and with shaking hands
pulled the boy to him. He turned to the woman who was still crying as she
sat in the road. Ben gently put the shaking boy from him and reached his
hand out to the woman.   "I'm so sorry. Are you OK?"   Dazed hazel eyes
looked at him and smiled. "Yes. Thank God the child had red on or I
wouldn't have seen him. Is he OK?"   "Yes, Mam, tho I doubt he will feel
OK after his family gets done talking to him." Ben remarked wryly. "May I
help you up?"   She gave Ben her hand and let him pull her to her feet. "I
live just down the block. I'll be OK. I'm just so glad I didn't hit the
boy."   By this time, Ray was watching his nephew as he stood crying next
to Ben. "I'll drive you and car down the street, Mrs. Ponte." She smiled
graciously and moved towards her car. Ray climbed in the drivers seat and
drove her home but not before he cast a very serious look towards the
child wearing the red serge.   Ben put his arm around the boy and led the
group back to the Vecchio living room. He sat down and pulled the boy into
his lap. The small child collapsed into tears in Ben's arms where he was
held firmly but lovingly.    Ray walked back into the house to hear Ben
talking to his nephew. "Why were you in the street?"   "I had to get
Tessa's ball. She's too little to go after it."   "Um perhaps next time
you should get an adult to retrieve the ball."   "OK Uncle Ben. I'm sorry
about your coat. I didn't hurt it or anything."   "I know you didn't."  
"The lady said if she hadn't seen the red coat on you she may have hit
you." Ray said as he walked into the room. He gave a pointed look at Ben
who nodded back. "But you shouldn't have taken Uncle Ben's coat without
permission."   "Yes, Uncle Ray. I won't do it again." The boy slid off
Ben's lap and began unbuttoning the red serge. "Uncle Ben needs it, I just
wanted to borrow it."   "Why?" Ray asked.   "Because red is Uncle Ben and
I want to be just like him." The boy answered. "I know when Uncle Ben
wears it I feel safe." The boy hugged Ben. "Don't you Uncle Ray?"   The
two men looked at each other over the boy's head as he handed Ben the red
serge. "I told you red serge doesn't kill." Ray remarked. They watched the
children rush from the room towards the kitchen. "You're just going to
have to accept that sometimes things just happen."   Ben held the red
serge gently. He knew that without the coat Ray's nephew might be dead or
in the hospital. Maybe Ray was right. He would have to do some more
thinking about this. But he wouldn't do it by himself anymore. He'd
discuss it with Ray and bring his fears out into the light of day.    Ray
watched the changing emotions on Ben's face and knew the change had
already begun. Ben the lone internalizer was beginning to change. Ray
smiled down at the red serge coat in Ben's hands. Sometimes things just
happened.