Disclaimer: I do not own the characters Benton Fraser or Ray Kowalski
(damn the luck)....I don't own any of the other Due South characters
either, but that doesn't bother me as much as not owning Ray. I borrowed
them for a little amusement, and will return them in as good a shape as I
found them. No money changed hands. Not that I didn't wish it were
otherwise. 

Synopsis: Set after the end of odds. Related to events of that episode.
Spoiler alert. This isn't exactly a sequel to my first story,but
events/people that occurred or were mentioned in Memories That Linger, are
also briefly mentioned here, so it might be good for you to have read that
story first. 

Background: I never honestly thought I'd be doing a missing scene type
story...or an epilogue as the case my be. Just didn't think I'd be able to
do one...but here I am doing just that. This got started when I read a
story by Katapult...a discussion ensued about how all the stuff that
happened to Ray during the episode "Odds"...it had to hurt, but no mention
of him actually being injured is made. This story takes place about three
weeks after the first story I wrote...Memories that Linger.  

 Odds Continued 

//Ray, my boy, that was a mistake// Ray thought as he straightened from
slouching in his chair. He sighed quietly trying to remember how to
breath. Leaning back in the chair had put pressure on ribs that protested
loudly. Just over a month ago he'd broken several ribs helping Huey and
Dewey apprehend a suspect. The last few hectic days hadn't done much for
those ribs still in the healing process.  

It was supposed to be an easy case. Just a little gig about illegal
gambling. Should have known that nothing is ever as simple as it is
supposed to be. Ray shook his head reflecting on the many ways he'd
endangered his life in some wildly bizarre way since he started this whole
Vecchio gig, and got a Mountie for a partner. Sometimes he thought Vecchio
was in less danger undercover with the mob. 

It started with getting blown into a wall by a "small explosion". //Small
and explosion should never be used in the same sentence. EVER.// Even
before the dust had settled he was getting smacked around by Joey
What-ever-the-hell-his-name-is. Letting that schmuck get away, didn't just
hurt his pride, it also had Welsh yelling at him. Not an unusual event,
but still one that Ray preferred to avoid. 

Then the feds show up...oh what a joy that had been. Of course they would
lose track of Denny Scarpa, AKA Lady Shoes. And were they to blame...No.
It was somehow Ray's fault that those idiots had lost their own witness.
So he and Fraser end up tracking her down by following the wolf. Ray still
didn't think of that as a really bright idea, but it worked so he honestly
had no complaints.  

Finding Denny Scarpa was like everything else about this case; decidedly
more complicated than it should have been. He narrowly missed being hit by
a car, thanks to Fraser. But then he got dropped a good ten feet, also
thanks to Fraser. The way Ray figured it though those two events more or
less balanced each other out.  

Then Fraser goes and gets himself included in a high stakes poker game. So
instead of spending the night in his own bed, Ray spent all night teaching
Fraser to play poker. Ray still couldn't understand how a super honest,
subtle as a sledgehammer Mountie, could still manage to win almost every
hand. Bizarre...just like every thing else about this damn case. 

Ray knew after he'd gone through the skylight, landing on a very hard
table, that he really should have given that particular course of action
more thought. His ribs delighted in reminding him they were still less
than 100%. For several minutes afterwards he couldn't seem to straighten
up or breath properly.	

Ray cracked enough ribs in his time to know exactly how it felt. It
sucked. This didn't feel quite that bad. Probably just bruised the same
ones he'd already injured a month ago. 

He hadn't really felt much pain until now. The need to stay focused,
making sure the bad guys were contained, had kept him from noticing just
how much it hurt to breathe. Then he needed to be sure Fraser was okay.
Some one had to look out for the crazy Mountie, and it was a safe bet the
feds wouldn't do it. 

Now that things were calming down, Ray's body was reminding him, loudly,
that it didn't appreciate the last few days. Ray was thankful that it had
waited until he was alone...well, relatively speaking. The squad room was
empty at the moment, except for Dief and Ante. Fraser had gone to the
men's room planning to change from Huey's tux into his uniform. Funny that
Ray had come to think of something as formal as the Red Serge as more
casual than a tux. //Ah life with a Mountie for a partner.// 

Ray resisted the urge to hold his left arm tight to his side. Wouldn't do
for Fraser to know that he was hurting. Fraser would want him to go to the
hospital. Fraser knew that Ray loathed hospitals, but he would still make
him go. It wasn't like they would tell him anything he didn't already
know. Ray had been diagnosing his own bruises and scrapes for sometime
now. A few sore ribs, some cuts, and a lot of bruises. He knew how to
handle those. No big deal.  

And Fraser had back pain of his own. Albeit a typical Fraser move, Ray
thought jumping out of a second story window was a stupid thing to do. Ray
was surprised that Fraser had only hurt his back. But, if he was in pain,
he didn't need Ray's problems in addition to that.  

Fraser was returning, tux draped over one arm. "Ready to leave, Ray?" 

"Oh yeah. More than ready." Ray braced himself to stand. He swayed
slightly, spots dancing before his eyes. That wasn't entirely unexpected,
but it still caught him by surprise. He knew his knuckles had to be white
from the grip he had on the edge of the desk. //Come on, Ray. Suck it up//
 

"Ray? Ray? Are you all right?" Even with his eyes closed against the pain,
and sudden nausea, Ray could hear the concern in that question.  

//Okay, Ray. Breath in through yer mouth, out through yer nose. Good. Now
straighten up. There ya go. Nothin' to it.// 

Finally Ray could open his eyes, even if he couldn't seem to convince his
fingers to relax their grip on the desk. "Yeah, Frase. I'm good." 

Ray could tell Fraser wasn't buying it. The look on his face was clearly
skeptical. Earlier in the day Ray would have been able to marshal the
energy to make everything seem okay, but right now he was running on
empty. "Don't look like that, Frase. I'm just tired. Been a long day. A
long couple of days." 

"Yes. Yes it has. Are you sure you're all right?" 

Ray nodded, and forced himself to let go of the desk. He knew from past
experience that there was no way in hell he'd be able to shrug into his
jacket. Opting for some kind of disguise, Ray casually draped his jacket
over his left arm, holding it tighter to his body as he did so. He
motioned toward the door with his right hand. "Pitter patter, Fraser." 

Still looking concerned, Fraser preceded Ray to the door. Ray forced
himself to move at his usual speed, resisting the urge to limp. It hurt,
but once he dropped Fraser off at the consulate, Ray could crash. //You
just gotta hold yerself together for a little longer, Kowalski. You can do
that.// 

Ray might have actually succeeded in getting out of the precinct and to
the car if Dief and Ante, in their haste to leave, hadn't bumped into him.
Knocked off balance by the unexpected blow at knee level, Ray hit the
wall. A cry he couldn't quite suppress escaped. //Damn. That hurt// 

Worse than that was the look on Fraser's face. "Ray. Ray. Ray!!??" 

Ray tried to answer him, but couldn't seem to breath. He couldn't seem to
make his legs work either, because he suddenly found himself sliding down
the wall. Ray gave up trying to respond to Fraser, and concentrated on
breathing. //Okay. That's better. Not great, but better.// 

Fraser had reached out a concerned hand, cupping Ray's face, trying to
assess what might be wrong. The warmth from his hand felt solid,
reassuring, making Ray want to lean into it. He could see the relief
clearly written on Fraser's face when he was able to open his eyes again. 


"Ray? You are not all right." 

"If ya say so, Fraser." Ray couldn't help the fact that he was panting.
Quick, shallow breaths were easier to do at the moment. 

"You were fine before I left for the men's room. What happened?" 

"Guess the day finally caught up ta me."  

"Ray." Fraser made his name sound like a warning. And Ray was all too
familiar with the look on Fraser's face. It was the one he got when he
knew there was more going on than being said. Ray knew Fraser wasn't going
to just back off.  

"I'm okay, Frase. Honest. I just didn't get to eat anything today. Low
blood sugar....and all that." 

"Low blood sugar might leave you sitting on the floor, my friend. But it
doesn't generally make you cry out in pain. I want to know what is wrong."
The last part was said very quietly, but distinctly. Ray's effort to look
away was halted by the hand Fraser still had cupping his face.	 

Forced to meet Fraser's assessing gaze Ray decided the easiest thing to do
was to come clean. "Look, its no big deal. My own fault. Last couple of
days have been a little hectic. Not enough sleep, didn't get around to
eating like I should. I got a little stupid and things like jumping
through a skylight seemed like a good idea at the time. Didn't think
hitting an oak card table would hurt as much as it did." 

For a moment Fraser looked decidedly embarrassed and slightly guilty. "I
didn't notice you were injured." 

"Yeah, well, there was a lot going on. Sides you had to go after Lady
Shoes...wasn't like you had time to just stand around and notice stuff. No
big deal. Like I said before, I'm okay." 

"And I believe I have already told you that you are, most definitely, not
okay." 

"Fine. Have it your way. Can we leave now?" 

"In a moment, Ray. Stay where you are." The last was delivered with the
same stern look that Fraser usually gave to Diefenbaker. Unlike the wolf,
Ray figured it might be wiser just to obey.  

Fraser returned less than a minute later carrying the bag of candy he'd
won the night before. "You need to eat something. I know candy isn't
particularly healthy, it was the only fare I had readily available at the
moment." 

"Look, Frase, I really don't-" 

"Eat."	

Ray sighed and ate a handful of the candy. M&M's were his favorites after
all, so it wasn't like it would hurt to humor his partner. Fraser pocketed
the bag. Ray reached out to grab the wall to help him stand, but Fraser
placed a hand on his chest preventing him from moving. 

"Where are you hurt?" 

"Fraser, I am fine." 

"No. You. Are. Not. Now, where are you hurt?" 

"Mostly its just bruises. Guess I got stiff once I quit moving. Feels like
I've been moving more or less constantly for the last two days. Like I
said no big deal." 

Fraser appeared to give Ray's statement careful consideration. Before Ray
could react Fraser tapped Ray faintly on the left side. Although Fraser
applied only light pressure, Ray couldn't help wincing. He knew Fraser
noticed. //Trust the eagle-eyed Mountie not to miss a thing//. 

"Ray, you should go to the hospital."  

"No." 

"Ray." Again Fraser's voice had that warning quality. But Ray wasn't
giving in on this point. He hated hospitals. Fraser knew that. He even
knew why. He was the only person Ray had ever told about Andy Kosmeyer,
and how he died. Just thinking about going to the hospital made Ray break
out in a sweat. 

"No. Fraser, I am not going to the hospital." 

"Ray, please be reasonable. You're in pain." 

"So what? You hurt your back. Didn't see you goin' to the hospital." 

"That was different." 

"Uh-hunh. And how is that different?" 

"I know what is wrong with my back, and it isn't something that going to
the hospital will fix." 

"Yeah, well, I know what's wrong with me. Ain't nothin' they can tell me
that I don't already know." 

"Are you absolutely certain? You aren't just saying that because of how
you feel about hospitals? I would stay with you. You know that, don't
you?" Ray couldn't help thinking of the look on Fraser's face as that
big-eyed, earnest, boy-scout look. It always made him feel faintly guilty,
even when he was sure he hadn't done anything wrong. 

"Of course, I know you'd stay with me. You did the last time. I trust you.
So, trust me. There is nothing wrong with me that a really hot shower, and
good nights sleep wont fix. Now help me up."  

"One condition." 

Ray sighed. "Okay. And that condition is?" 

"I examine the extent of your injuries once we get to your apartment. I
want to be absolutely certain there is no need for you to go to the
hospital." 

"Sure, fine, whatever. Happy now?" 

"Not entirely." Fraser smiled slightly. "But it will do for now." 

Ray was grateful for the helping hand Fraser offered. He wasn't altogether
certain he could have made it to his feet on his own. Ray hated to admit
to this weakness, even if it was only to himself. //This sucks. I suck.
All I had to do was hold it together for a little while longer. Damn.
Should have known it wouldn't work. Not with the way everything else has
gone today.//  

They made it to the GTO and Ray handed Fraser his keys. At Fraser's
surprised look, Ray chuckled, wincing as he did so. "Figured you'd get
around to asking for them sooner or later. And I really don't wanna argue
about that too. Just don't get any funny ideas. No hospitals. And you
better be careful with my car." 

"Understood." 

Dief and Ante piled into the back. Ray lowered himself gingerly into the
passenger seat. It felt weird to sit anywhere but the driver's seat. Still
given the fact that he collapsed in the squad room, Ray didn't entirely
trust himself to drive. He didn't entirely trust Fraser either, but it
couldn't really be helped.  

Ray closed his eyes, willing his aching muscles to relax. The steady
motion of the car helped to put him at ease. Ray vaguely remembered his
mother telling him once that she used to drive around the neighborhood to
get him to sleep as a baby. //Guess it still works.//  

One nice thing about Fraser's driving. He was steady. No sudden stops or
starts. Even with his eyes closed, Ray could tell they were coming up on
an intersection, and that the light turned red. He could also tell his
partner was making the most of their current immobile status to look him
over in the light provided.  

"Fraser, will you stop that already." 

"Stop what?" 

"Looking at me like I'm goin' shatter or something. Keep your eyes on the
road." 

"How did you know I was even looking? Your eyes are closed." 

Ray opened his eyes, and turned his head to meet Fraser's darker blue
eyes. "Cause I know you. Look, Fraser, the fact of the deal is that I
appreciate you taking care of me, really I do. But, I'm an adult an'
everything. Been takin' care of myself for years. Just cause I suck at it
doesn't mean you have to get worried."	

"You are my friend. I worry about you. And not because you suck at taking
care of yourself. Which you don't by the way. You are very good at taking
care of yourself." 

Ray snorted. "If I was good at taking care of myself, I'd have dropped you
off at the consulate and gone home, and we wouldn't be having this
conversation." 

Fraser looked hurt by Ray's comment. "I thought we agreed, Ray. We agreed
that if you were hurt, that even if you could walk and talk, and even if
you weren't gushing blood you would still call me." 

"I didn't have to call you, Fraser. You were there." Fraser blushed and
the stricken, faintly guilty, look Ray had seen earlier was back. "What?
What did I say?" 

"I'm sorry, Ray. So very sorry." 

"What the hell are you sorry for? You didn't do anything wrong." 

"I have been unforgivably selfish. It was my fault that you got hurt
tonight. I didn't take the time to fill you in on Denny Scarpa's brother,
and I thought she might be planning to avenge his death. With the room
being monitored...I thought you would hear it all and understand. I wasn't
certain that the federal agents could be relied on for assistance, but I
didn't think...well, I guess that sums it up nicely, doesn't it? I didn't
think. It was because of me that you jumped through that sky light. And
then I selfishly never thought to even ask if you were all right. I am
sorry, Ray." 

Ray rested a hand gently on Fraser's arm. "I didn't mean....I wasn't
blaming you. I didn't even know I'd banged myself up until just before we
left. Was too busy taking care of other stuff to even notice. How could
you know something I didn't? Just cause you usually do doesn't mean that
you always do." Ray smiled slightly, shaking Fraser gently. "And it wasn't
your fault...my jumping through the sky light I mean. If the feds had been
willing to do their jobs I wouldn't have ended up on the roof looking for
some way to back you up. I'm your partner, dammit. Its my job to back you
up."  

"Ray-" 

"It. Was. Not. Your. Fault. Understand?" Seeing Fraser nod, Ray released
his grip and settled back into his seat, again closing his eyes. "Anyway,
it worked. We got the bad guys. Welsh is happy. The feds are happy. Job
well done and all that." 

The rest of the trip was made in silence. Ray dozed off, not realizing
he'd done so until Fraser's hand on his shoulder woke him.  

"Ray. Ray. Ray. Ray." 

"Yeah, Frase?" Ray was having trouble opening his eyes.  

"We are here." 

Finally Ray could lever his eyes open, yawning widely. He raised a hand
vigorously rubbing his face, and then running it through his hair. Looking
around he realized Fraser was right. There were parked in Ray's usual
place, beside his apartment building. 

Struggling out of the car and up the stairs was not a trip Ray wanted to
repeat any time soon. He expended energy he didn't really have in the
effort to move normally. Fraser was already feeling guilty about the whole
skylight stuff, Ray didn't want to make it worse. //Crazy Mountie. Was my
own fault. Its not like I haven't had a few bruises in my time.//  

Once inside his apartment, Ray casually dropped his jacket on the couch.
He managed to slither out of his shoulder hostler, setting his gun down
carefully on the coffee table. He toed off his shoes, sighing as he did
so. Fraser stood next to the breakfast bar watching him, Dief and Ante
already finding a comfortable spot on the other side of the room. 

"Ray, I really think you should eat something more substantial than candy.
" 

"My Mum said she left something edible in the fridge. Go ahead and check
will ya? I wanna shower." 

Ray wondered into the bedroom to remove the rest of his clothing. He tried
to hurry, afraid that if he took to long Fraser would check on him. Ray
knew that if Fraser thought for any reason he was seriously hurt he would
insist on taking Ray to the hospital. //No way is that going to happen.// 


Ray snagged a blue bath robe from the closet door. It wasn't something he
normally wore, but since he had company, Ray decided to try for some level
of decency. Besides it was soft, warm, and the only article of clothing he
actually thought he could get into without being forced to ask for help. 

On his way to the bathroom Fraser called out to him. "Ray?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Your mother left what appears to be a casserole. It wont take me long to
warm it up...if you'd like?" 

"Sure. Fine. Whatever." 

The hot water felt incredibly good. Ray could feel it relaxing his tense
aching muscles, easing pain and stiffness. He'd always loved showering
with water so hot it all but scalded. Unfortunately the hot water never
lasted as long as he would have liked. With a sigh, Ray finally turned off
the water, and got out.  

Toweling himself dry, Ray located every bruise that up until now he'd only
felt, not seen. Glancing over his left shoulder he could see mottled
colors forming down his back. His left side, from mid-chest almost to his
knee, was taking on a look that Ray knew would make it hard to get out of
bed tomorrow.  

Ray shrugged mentally, knowing that doing it physically would hurt too
much, and pulled on his robe. //Could have been a lot worse. Damn Feds
could have gotten Fraser killed.// A few bruises were nothing compared to
that.  

Ray simply didn't want to think about what his life would be like if
something permanent happened to the best friend he'd ever had. Sure,
Fraser had come with the Vecchio gig, was a packaged deal after all. They
had both had to make nice with each other as part of maintaining that
cover, but somewhere along the line pretending to be friends had become
the real thing. And Ray would move heaven and earth to see to it that no
one and nothing put that at risk.  

Ray stepped out into the living room, shivering slightly at the change in
temperature. He padded through the living room, picking up his gun, on his
way back to the bedroom. If he wasn't wearing it, Ray always made certain
his weapon was stored safely out of harms way. He placed his gun and
shoulder hostler in the bedside stand that also held his ankle gun.  

"Ray?" Fraser's voice reached him from the kitchen. 

"Yeah?" Ray pulled on a pair of clean boxers.  

"Dinner is ready." 

"Be right out." Ray found a pair of sweat pants and pulled those on,
knowing once the effect of the shower wore off, he wouldn't be able to
move even half as well as he was at the moment. Heavy socks to keep his
feet warm. He briefly considered putting on a shirt, but opted just to
keep wearing the robe. Ray joined Fraser at the table. 

"Hmm. Smells good." 

Ray dug into his meal with gusto. He hadn't lied to Fraser when he said he
hadn't eaten anything that day. The casserole Fraser found had been one of
his favorites from his childhood. //Trust my Mum to remember what to make
to get me to eat.// She was always worried that he was too thin.  

It was several moments before he noticed that his partner was watching him
instead of eating. "Somethin' wrong Frase?" 

Fraser shook his head. He raised a hand to run a knuckle over an eyebrow.
"I was just...well, that is..I am.." Fraser sighed. Shaking his head, he
continued. "I wanted to remind you that you agreed to let me look at the
extent of your injuries." 

Ray narrowed his eyes. He knew that wasn't what Fraser had been going to
say, but decided not to push it. His instincts were telling him that the
Mountie would get to whatever it was in his own time. 

"Let me finish eating then you can play doctor. Okay?" 

"Of course, Ray. I didn't mean to rush you." 

"Good. Eat your dinner." 

Ray waited until Fraser started eating before resuming his own dinner. Ray
finished a second helping before pushing his plate away, thoroughly
stuffed. Now that he'd eaten, and had a shower, all Ray really wanted to
do was crash. Sleeping for days seemed like a really good idea. But he'd
agreed to letting Fraser look him over, so hitting the sack would just
have to wait.  

It took no small force of will to make himself stand and wander into the
living room. Ray hit the power button on the CD player, letting the music
from days ago softly fill the apartment. //ah, Etta James. Love this
woman.// Ray drifted over to the couch. 

"Okay, Frase. Let's get this doctor type stuff over." 

Fraser had followed him into the room. He motioned for Ray to remove his
robe. Turning his back to Fraser, Ray slipped out of the robe, casually
dropping it into the nearby chair. Fraser's faint sound of distress caused
Ray to spin back around. //Damn. He's got that look again// 

"Fraser? You okay?" 

Fraser swallowed hard. His blue eyes filled with guilt, shame and regret.
"Ray...Ray, when did you...I mean how did you...the bruises you have."
Fraser waved a hand, directing toward Ray's torso. "They didn't all happen
hitting the card table." 

Ray looked down at himself. The bruises he'd noticed earlier in the
bathroom were now an incredible shade of bluish-purple, red, and
yellow-green. They were a stark contrast to his normal pale gold skin
tone.  

He looked back up, calmly meeting Fraser's eyes. "No they didn't. Couple
of them are from hitting the wall when the explosion went off. Couple are
from getting smacked around by Joey Whats-his-name." Ray shrugged one
shoulder. "Could have got a couple when we both fell in the alley."  

"We didn't fall, Ray. I dropped you." 

"Saved my life too. Even Steven." Fraser smiled slightly when Ray said
that, but his eyes remained shadowed. "Look, Fraser don't be getting all
worked up over this. It's no big deal." 

"How can you say that??!! You look like someone has been beating you with
a bat. And do not even try and tell me that it doesn't hurt!!" Fraser
approached, holding Ray firmly in place with his gaze. " I can tell you
hurt just from the way you've been moving, the way your breathing."
Fraser's eyes narrowed. "You received some of these injuries yesterday.
Why the hell didn't you say something to me earlier? Don't tell me it was
because you didn't know you'd been hurt." 

//Did Fraser just swear? Nah, couldn't be. Must be my hearing. He's as
upset as I've ever seen him though. Stupid. Never should have agreed to
letting him play doctor.// 

"Fraser, we were working a case. The feds were all over us. And there was
a time crunch thing goin'. It wasn't like anything hurt so bad I couldn't
do my damn job." Always volatile, Ray could feel his anger beginning to
build. In a way it felt good. Made him forget how much it hurt to just
breathe. "I don't see what your so worked up over. This isn't any
different than any other case we've worked together." 

"You haven't been hurt on any of our other cases." 

Ray snorted. "Oh yeah. Like you'd know if I had." 

"What is that supposed to mean?" 

"Fraser, I love ya like a brother, but there are times when you aren't the
most observant or considerate person I've ever met." Ray made to move
away, but Fraser reached out to grab his arm.  

"Explain." Fraser somehow managed to make that sound like and order and a
request at the same time.  

Ray sighed. He really didn't want to get into this now. He was tired, he
hurt, and he could feel the tenuous control he had over his temper
starting to slip. He didn't want to say anything to hurt Fraser, and if he
lost his temper, Ray knew he would do just that.  

"Just let it go, Frase. Please." 

"No. I need to understand." That stubborn look firmly in place on Fraser's
face.  

"I don't want to get into this now." 

"There is no time like the present, Ray." 

"Faser-" 

"Ray." 

Ray glared at his partner. He didn't wanted to have this conversation, and
here he was having it anyway. //God damn Mountie couldn't leave well
enough alone. Always gotta do it his way.// Whatever control he'd had over
his anger vanished like so much mist.  

"Fine. You want to know. Well, here it is. You're always so damn sure
you're right. Your way is best, cause you got all the logical answers.
Never mind what I think. Never mind that we're supposed to be partners,
and share information. You leave me in the dark so damn much that I
sometimes feel like this partnership thing is taking place in a closet.
Its always straight ahead with you. Gotta go get the bad guys, bring them
to justice. Never mind how I feel about the thing. Always got some wild
ass plan. A plan that seems to involve almost getting killed. Well, ain't
that just fine and dandy fer you. Me..I always gotta find some way to make
sure I can back you up. Some way to keep us both from getting killed. And
you think this is the first time I've gotten hurt. God...that is rich. "  

Ray shook his head in disbelief. "Like getting knocked in the head and
handcuffed to the floor on the Henry Allen was a walk in the park. Or damn
near drowning was pleasant. You think riding a motorcycle through a glass
window didn't hurt? Falling through a sky light into a boxing ring, just
so I can duke it out with someone who's gotta be twice my size and out
weighs me by more than a hundred pounds...you didn't think that hurt?
Cutting my vacation short to play baseball....knowing full fucking well
that I don't know how, that didn't make me want to run screaming in panic!
Staying in a car that's on fire, just cause you tell me its too dangerous
to abandon, that didn't scare me half to death? Getting involved in a
shoot out in the rain, out numbered as usual, without my glasses, hoping
like hell we aren't going to die, just did wonders for my heart rate
Benton buddy. Dealing with spies like something out of James Bond flick
had me running on empty. I was to the point where I was catching naps at
the station in a cell. Did you ever once ask me if I was okay? No. You
were too busy saving the rest of the world to worry about how your scared
shitless partner might be doing."  

Ray stopped, breathing hard. He hadn't meant to say any of that, but as
usual when he was angry his mouth ran off with the rest of him. Ray was
relieved that at least this time he hadn't struck Fraser like he had the
day they argued on the dock. Unfortunately, it might have been better if
he had. The guilty, stricken look was back on Fraser's face in spades.
//Oh, hell. Way to go, Kowalski.// 

"Ray...my God." Fraser swallowed hard, closing his eyes. "Why didn't you
ever say anything? How could you continue to let me put in you such
situations? You are my friend...why didn't I even stop to think ?" The
last was barely above a whisper. 

Reaching out with both hands, Ray framed Fraser's face, forcing eye
contact when Fraser finally opened his. All his earlier anger spent, Ray's
voice was soft, gentle when he spoke. "What was I supposed to tell you?
That we couldn't go after the bad guys? Fraser, it's our job. Getting the
bad guys is what we do. The fact that you tend to do it in more...well
creative, not to mention disgusting, ways than other people is just part
of who you are. Just part of the Mountie packaging I guess."  

 Ray smiled, trying to reassure Fraser with more than just words. "
Look..about the stuff I said. I don't have any hard feelings 'bout that
stuff. See, its like I told ya before...we are a duet. You set 'em up, I
knock 'em down. We are partners. I am supposed to back your play. Just
cause it scares me or is a little risky wont keep me from backing you up.
I *know* you'll back any play I make. Why do you think I ran to the
Consulate during the whole Volpe thing? Cause I knew I could count on you.
You're my best friend. I trust you with my life." 

"I don't deserve such trust, Ray." 

"I'm still here, so you haven't let me down. I got no reason to think you
will." 

Fraser's eyes searched Ray's. "That still doesn't explain why you never
said you were hurt. Even if I wasn't as observant as I should have
been....too lost in my own selfish goals," there was a momentary flash of
self-disgust in Fraser's eyes. His gaze turned slightly reproachful as he
continued, "You should have said something, Ray."  

"I let you know I was hurt, you'd want to take me out of the game." Ray
shrugged unapologetic. "Some one has to make sure you don't go off and do
that crazy stuff by yourself. You're my best friend, Fraser. I don't want
anything to happen to you."  

"I don't want anything to happen to you either. I am sorry." Fraser
surprised Ray when he enfolded him in a gentle hug. He whispered directly
into Ray's ear. "Will you promise me something?" 

"Don't know until you ask." 

Fraser pulled away slightly. " You were right when you said I wasn't very
observant or considerate where you are concerned. If I were more observant
I would have known when you were hurt, tired or worried."  

Fraser's eyes fell briefly before rising again to meet Ray's, his
expression a mixture of guilt and earnestness. "Many times I tend
toward....single-mindedness. I don't want you to hide these things from
me, or let me ignore them. Will you promise to do that?" 

"I can do that, if you promise to do something for me." 

"Anything." 

"If I tell you this stuff...you're not like going to go off on your own?
You'll wait for back up? You wont keep leaving me in the dark about stuff?
Cause if I had all the pieces, I might be able to come up with somethin'
that didn't involve me risking my skinny ass quite so often. Or if I knew
what you were thinkin' I might not object so much to what yer plannin'." 

Fraser looked thoughtful. "I don't deliberately keep information from you
Ray. I just don't like to say too much about what I am thinking until I
can put it all together. Until I am certain that I am indeed correct in my
reasoning. But , I will promise to try not to leave you in the dark, as
you put it. And if you aren't there to back me up, I will wait until
someone else can provide it." 

"Good enough." Ray paused. "We okay here? Cleaned the air so we're back on
the same page?" 

Fraser raised an eyebrow at Ray's mixed metaphor "Yes, I believe we are
okay. The air is clear." 

"Good. Cause I gotta sit down." Ray could feel his legs shaking. //God. I
gotta remember not to do these big emotional scenes when I feel like crap.
Emotional roller coasters are not rides for the faint of heart.// 

Fraser helped Ray sit down on the couch. Without Fraser's help, Ray was
fairly certain he'd have just collapsed right where he was. He leaned back
into the cushions, resting his head on the back of the couch. 

"Ray. Ray. Ray?" 

"Yeah?" Ray opened his eyes, reading the expression of concern on Fraser's
face. 

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?" 

"Positive. Ya still wanna look me over?" 

Fraser nodded. "Have at it then." Ray straightened up. Fraser's hands
coasted gently over Ray's many bruises. Fraser could be incredibly gentle
when he wanted to be, a trait Ray was grateful he possessed. Despite
Fraser's light touch, Ray couldn't help wincing whenever his fingers found
a particularly sore spot. 

"It doesn't appear that you've broken anything." 

"Didn't think I did." 

"Symptoms of internal injuries would have shown up by now, so I don't
believe there is any danger there." 

"Could have told you that." 

"You're going to be stiff, and sore for a few days." 

"Figured as much." 

"Do you have any aspirin?"  

"Bathroom."  

Fraser got up and retrieved the large bottle of generic aspirin Ray kept
in the medicine cabinet. He was also carrying the ace bandage Ray had used
to wrap his ribs after he'd broken a few last month. At Ray's raised
eyebrows Fraser elaborated, "Even though you haven't broken anything, I
think your ribs will feel better with some additional support." Ray nodded
, allowing Fraser to snugly wrap his ribs. Not too tight, not too loose.
Trust Fraser to be right about it feeling better.  

Ray smiled. "Yer gettin' good at this stuff, Frase." 

"Thank you kindly, Ray. I would prefer not to use my skills on you, so I
fully expect you to keep your promise." 

"Understood." Ray kept his voice in the same smooth tones that Fraser
typically used when he said that. 

Fraser reached for the aspirin. He shook two out into his palm and offered
them to Ray. "Better make it four, Frase. And I am not gonna take those
without something to wash them down with." Ray moved to get up, bur Fraser
halted the movement, handing four tablets to Ray as he did so. 

"I'll get you some water." 

 //Why is it that aspirin always tastes like chalk? Can land a man on the
moon, but they can't make a pain pill that wont gag ya.// Ray drank the
entire glass of water Fraser offered. He yawned widely, closing his eyes.
//Man, I wish the bedroom was closer to the couch.// 

 "Help me up will ya, Frase?"	

With Fraser's help Ray managed to stand, swaying slightly. Being this
tired reminded Ray of being drunk. He shuffled into the bedroom, ignoring
Fraser who followed closely behind. //Hello bed. Man, have I missed you.//


Ray eased himself carefully down on the bed. It felt wonderful to stretch
out. Without saying anything, Fraser bent to tuck him in. It made Ray feel
a bit like a little kid but he really didn't mind. 

"Fraser?" 

"Yes, Ray?"  

"You can take the GTO back to the consulate if you wanna drive instead of
walking?" 

"I'd rather spend the night on your couch if that is all right." 

"Sure." A yawn escaped. "You can crash there if ya wanna. My casa is your
casa." Ray could feel sleep tugging at him, but resisted. "You gotta work
tomorrow?" 

"Yes." 

"Wake me in the morning...I'll give...ya...a lift. Maybe we can
do...break..fast or somethin'." 

"I'd like that." 

"Cool."  

Ray couldn't resist the pull of sleep any longer. He drifted off content,
knowing all was right with his world.	

The end