Life Imitating Art...Or Vice Versa? I apologise if this story's very situation specific to the signing session DM and PG had in London on May 16, 1996. I have tried to make it as general as possible. Thanks again to Audrey for actually *listening* to me! Much appreciated! Disclaimer: Though I was at the scene, I had missed the action before the autographing session, so, that and everything else is purely fictitious. All character's are Alliance's etc. etc. All errors are my own. All comments and criticisms are welcome. Life Imitating Art...Or Vice Versa? by Hsu-Lyn Yap "Where are we, Benny?" Ray asked worriedly, looking up and down the quiet side street. "It would appear that Dr.Clarvison's experiment is a success, Ray." Fraser looked about him, noting the unfamiliar buildings. "Aww...Benny! You can't possibly believe all that crap about a transporter ray. That's the stuff of movies!" Ray glanced cautiously around him once more and put his gun away. "It would appear, though, that we are not in Chicago anymore, Ray" Ray stared at Fraser, who was in turn, looking past him out into the busy main road. He turned around slowly, just in time to see a red double-decker bus trundle by. There was a soft whine at their feet as Diefenbecker looked up at the both of them unblinkingly. *He* did not like the strange sense of disorientation as well. "So, what are you trying to say? That we have been transported out of Chicago by that white light? Where's this, anyway?" "It would appear that we have been transported due east." Fraser said, consulting his compass. He looked about him again quizzically. "Very far east, in fact." "Where did he stick us? New York? Boston?" Ray sighed and walked up the street, Fraser following behind him. "Further than that, actually, Ray. I believe he has relocated us to London." "London?" Ray stopped and turned around slowly. "As in England?" "I believe so, Ray." Fraser nodded towards another red bus. "We seem to be on Berwick Street, just off Oxford Street." "So, what are we supposed to do now? How are we going to get back to Chicago? I know I need a holiday, but this is too short a notice, you know!" Ray threw his hands into the air exasperatedly. "And if I had wanted to come to England,I would have preferred to take the plane!" "You are over-reacting, Ray." "*I'm* over-reacting, let me tell, you, Benny...." "Well, you didn't have to get in the way of the beam, you know" Fraser interrupted. "Oh, and miss all this?" Ray raised his eyebrows sarcastically. "The man was aiming a ray at you, Fraser, I think the normal reaction would have been to duck, or even avoid it?" "I was going to do something, Ray." Fraser contradicted. "You just got in my way." "What were you going to do? Throw your hat?" "Well, actually, Ray. I don't think the brim would be stiff enough to knock the machine aside, though..." "Look. I don't want to know, alright? Shall we just try to find our way back to Chicago?" "I believe there is a Canadian High Commission and American Embassy in Grosvenor Square. We should report ourselves to them so they can notify our superiors in Chicago." Fraser proceeded to walk down the street. "What are we going to tell them? That we got transported by a sci- fi ray to London? I wonder if I can claim this under my transport allowance?" Ray followed the red-clad Mountie reluctantly. "Hey, Fraser. You read maps of foreign cities in your spare time?" "No, that'll just be a waste of time, Ray. Road maps change every so often, it would be difficult to..." "So, you mean to say, you don't know where we are heading?" Ray stopped in his tracks. "Well, technically..." "Technically, you have no idea about London?" "Well, no, Ray, but...." "No, buts, Fraser. We are going to do this the tourist way. We are going to *ask* the way to the American Embassy!" "And the Canadian High Commission" Fraser added. "Yes, that too." Ray nodded and turned around to see a man looking curiously at Fraser. "What are you staring at? Haven't you seen a mountie before?" "No, actually." the man looked bemused. "Well, now you have! Can you tell us the way to Grosvenor Square?" "I don't think he'll know, Ray." Fraser said quietly. "From his camera and map, I'd say he is a tourist as well." "Great!" Ray rolled his eyes in resignation and shook his head as Fraser obligingly posed for a picture. "Are you done with your photo shoot? Can we go now? Thank you!" Ray hurried Fraser along. "Look, we'll just ask the people in this store. They *must* be Londoners." They stood before a large store, the neon sign proclaiming it to be the HMV record store. A notice in the window next to the poster of George Michael advertising his new single announced that: 'Paul Gross and David Marciano will be signing copies of Due South videos in store on Thursday, 16th May, 1996.' Ray hardly spared the notice a glance as he entered the store. "Never heard of them. Never heard if the show, for that matter!" "They are probably famous enough to warrant the attention, Ray." Fraser followed Ray into the store, tipping his hat politely to a group of girls who were watching the both of them with wide eyes. "I'm sorry, sir. Dogs are not allowed in the store." a burly security guard barred their way. "Well, actually, sir." Fraser glanced down at Diefenbecker. "He's a.... "Dog. Actually, he is a dog." Ray interrupted quickly. "just leave him outside, Fraser. We're just going to get directions. We won't be long, and I think it'll be easier than than trying to explain why you are walking around London with a wolf at your heels. It was difficult enough when we were in Chicago!" "Paul! David!" the group of girls earlier had their cameras in hand as they waved to the duo. "Paul and David?" Ray raised an eyebrow at Fraser who simply gave a small shrug. "I'm afraid you are mistaken, miss." Fraser removed his hat. "I'm Constable Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted Police and this is Detective Ray Vecchio, Chicago PD. We are..." "That must be Diefenbecker!" the girls interjected excitedly as flashbulbs popped. "Gosh! Doesn't he look exactly like Lincoln?" Diefenbecker gave a small whine and slunk closer to Fraser, who was looking bewilderedly at Ray. "Must be the uniform." Ray shrugged. "Can't be many Mounties running around London!" "Excuse me, miss. I would appreciate it if you could tell us the way to the American Embassy and Canadian High Comm...." Fraser attempted his question again. "Could we have your autographs, please?" Fraser found various pictures of himself and Ray being waved in front of him. "I..er..that is...oh dear!" his eyes widened as he backed away. "Ray..." but Ray had his hands full as well. "Aren't you supposed to be upstairs?" a voice cut through the crowd. Two security officers approached them, escorted them away from the girls and towards the escalators, talking into their walkie- talkies the whole time. "There's been a change of plan." they were told. "You'll make your entrance via the escalators." "Benny, it would seem that they have gotten us confused with whoever Paul and David are." Ray whispered to Fraser as they rode the escalators to the first floor. Diefenbecker followed closely from behind them, determined not to lose sight of Fraser and Ray. "It would appear to be the case, Ray. But I still don't know how they knew Dief's name, and who Lincoln is." Ray took a deep breath and expelled it slowly. "You are not here to solve a mystery, Benny. We just want to get home. This is probably a case of mistaken identity." "Though how they can mistake you in your uniform is totally beyond me!" he muttered under his breath. As they got off the first floor, the first sight that greeted them was a huge mass of people forming an orderly queue that was snaking around the shelves of the videos on sale. A car chase scene was being played out on the wall of television screens and Ray's eyes widened as he recognised his Riv. They widened even further when he recognised the familiar red uniform on screen. "Benny! That's you on TV!" "That's not possible, Ray. I've never been on television before." "Then, *you* explain that!" Ray pointed to the screens, just as applause and whistles greeted their entrance. Before Fraser could reply, a door opened and a similarly red-uniformed person stepped out. The noise died away into a stunned silence, leaving only the sounds from the television monitors. "Ah! A fellow Constable. I could try to enlist his assistance." "Fraser, the guy looks exactly like you!" Ray said, unable to stop staring at the other 'Mountie'. "He's still a Mountie, Ray." Fraser stepped forward smartly and acknowledged the other. "Constable Benton Fraser." He held out his hand. "Well..er..." was all the other person managed to get out before he clasped Fraser's hand. "Actually, it's just Paul Gross." "Constable Paul Gross?" "No, just Paul Gross. I play Constable Benton Fraser, but this is.." confusion was written all over his face as his voice died away. Ray could hardly suppress a surprised grin. The man even had the same hunted look Fraser wore whenever he was cornered. A look aptly described as the one in the eyes of a deer caught in car headlights. "Let me introduce my friend, Detective Ray Vecchio." Fraser gestured towards Ray. "He looks exactly like me! You mean he's for real?" a surprised exclamation came from behind Paul. "David Marciano." Ray found himself clasping the hand of his own twin image. If not for the raincoat he was wearing, there was no way to tell them both apart. "What's going on here, Benny?" Ray glanced towards Fraser who was looking thoughtful. "I remember reading about this in books before this, but I never thought it possible." Fraser mused. "It would appear that Dr. Clarvison has transported us not only east, but east into a parallel universe! It would seem the we do not exist here." "Only as television characters." Paul explained. "David and I are actors. We play 'Detective Ray Vecchio' and 'Constable Benton Fraser' in a tv series called 'Due South'. It's about a Mountie and cop in Chicago and..." he paused and looked at them thoughtfully. "I guess you know more than we do what it's about." "I don't believe this, Benny. We don't even exist here! How are we going to get back to Chicago! And why is everyone else frozen in place except us?!" "I think it's because we should not be existing in the same universe. There's been a distortion in the time continuum, and as far as everyone else is concerned, once we go back, nothing out of the ordinary would have happened." Fraser explained. "*If* we go back, you mean." "Well, Ray,if you look closely, you'll find that we are getting more insubstantial. I would suspect that only an aspect of of us was transported here. Apparently, Dr. Clarvison's experiment was not as successful as I thought it was." Ray stared at Fraser unblinkingly and turned to the two actors. "Give the man a prize for never failing to understate the situation! You are lucky *he's* fictitious. Hang around Fraser long enough and you'll start valuing your life a whole lot more!" "You don't really mean that, Ray." "Oh, yes, I do, Fraser. Ever since you nearly drowned me in the bank vault, I've stopped counting. Can you imagine being drowned in a bank vault?!" he rolled his eyes at Paul and David. "Er..actually, I can." David flashed a grin. "And getting shot at, getting lost in the woods while carrying him, blowing up the Riv...Sorry!" he apologised quickly as a look of pain crossed Ray's face. "Is that Diefenbecker?" Paul bent to look at the wolf who gave a little whine and pressed closer to Fraser. "Yes. I apologise for his behaviour. He's usually more polite." Dief simply ignored him. "Ah! I would presume your Diefenbecker is played by Lincoln?" "Yes, he is. How did you know?" "It's the Mountie thing. He just pulls information out of the air." Ray interjected. "Well, actually, it was what the girls downstairs said about Dief looking like Lincoln. Now that I know they are actors, Dief must be played by another wolf..." "Dog, actually." Paul smiled apologetically. "He's a siberian husky." Dief gave a little growl of protest and Fraser looked down at him. "Don't complain, Diefenbecker. They can hardly have a wolf running around in Chicago!" "Toronto, actually." Paul bit back a smile. "We film in Toronto." "Ah!" Fraser glanced at Ray who had a look of resignation on his face. "Toronto, Chicago...what do I care?! I just want to go home,if it's fine by everyone!" At that moment, a bright light appeared behind them and Ray could feel himself receding, even though he hadn't moved. The two figures before him were getting smaller and smaller and he had barely enough time to raise a hand in acknowledgement before darkness fell. The last thing he heard was Fraser thanking them very kindly for their time. "Oww...! My head hurts!" Ray sat up, rubbing his head gingerly. The room in the basement was only illuminated by a single light bulb. A complicated-looking machine stood in the corner of the room, smoking slightly. A man in a white coat lay slumped over it. "Fraser? Are you okay? Fraser! Diefenbecker!" he looked around for the Mountie. "Why do I keep calling for a deaf wolf?!" "I'm here, Ray." Fraser's voice came from the dim recesses of the room and Dief gave a little whine of acknowledgement. "I had the strangest dream, Benny." Ray sat down by his friend. "We were in London and there were these two guys who looked *exactly* like us, and they were in a tv show about you coming to Chicago and I was there, and..." "I had the same dream, Ray." Fraser picked up his hat. A piece of card fell out of it. In the dim light, they could make out a black and white picture of themselves on it. Below each figure were printed the names: Paul Gross and David Marciano, repeated in the black marker-pen scrawl next to each respective figure. Under the picture was a bold type bearing the legend: DUE SOUTH. A look passed between them. "I don't think it was a dream, Ray." "No, Benny. I don't think it was." THE END Hsu-Lyn Yap llyjhly@ccn4.nott.ac.uk "So, how's school? Law School, right? Did we make any mistakes as cops?" David Marciano - 16 May 1996 London HMV Return to the Due South Fiction Archive