Title: Shaggy Dog #4: Buck and the Dentist 
Author: Marian 
Category: Humor/parody 
Ratings/warnings: G. If you hate puns, or flatulence do not read this
story .Pairings: none 
Spoilers: none 
Disclaimers: The Due South Characters Belong to Alliance.
Teaser: A Shaggy Dog story is a long or short story ending with a, usually
painful, pun or joke. This one involves Buck and a Dentist. 
Archive: Please archive. 
 
*Fraaaaapppppooottt* 

"Oh dear," Thought Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP, " That sound heralds
the arrival of Sergeant Buck Frohbisher" Fraser then peeked out of his
office at the consulate. 

Sure enough, Frohbisher came into view. Fraser noted that the Sergeant
appeared to have some swelling on his lower right mandible. "Fraser,
my boy, it is wonderful to see you aga…ooohhwww" 
Buck cradled his jaw in his palm and bent over in agony, simultaneously
emitting a *Ssssqquueeeeeffftuuup* from the vicinity of his backside.

Buck straightened up, saying: "Diefenbaker, you naughty beast! Benton 
you really should see to that animals diet." 

"Yes, of course sir. If I may be of assistance sir perhaps I could 
get you something to relieve your pain'" 

"Nonsense. I'm a Mountie. Pain builds character and.. ooowwwiiieee!"- 
Fraser tried, manfully, to ignore the rather noisy sounds coming out 
of both ends of the Sergeants' body. 

Suddenly the door to Thatchers office opened and she bellowed: 
"Constable, how many times have I told you to keep your wolf quiet in
this consulate? I can't work with all this howling, growling and…Oh,
Sergeant Frohbisher I had not realized you had arrived yet." Buck snapped
to attention, wincing in agony as his teeth clamped together. "Oowwww"
*pppfffftteeerrrp*

"Sergeant, am I mistaken or do you need the services of a dentist?"

"Why, no sir. I am fine. Just a little twinge." 

"Your face is swollen. I don't want the RCMP to have to deal with any
long-term problems with your teeth. I order you to see a dentist,
immediately!
Fraser, you will accompany him and make sure he gets the proper
treatment."

"Yes, sir" the two Mounties said in unison. 
 
*Frabadabapidddf* 

A dental technician came into the waiting room of a nearby dentists
office.
"Alright, who is next in line for the dentist?" 

All fingers in the room pointed to the notably gaseous man in red. Buck
was pleasantly surprised, as there were others here before him. "See,
Benton, Americans can be polite. Even they recognize that a busy man
in uniform needs to return to duty. Thank you kindl... ooooowwwwweeeerrrr"

*Thapthapthap* 

"I'll just wait out here in the waiting room for you sir." Fraser quickly
moved away from Buck. In the treatment room, Dr. Scrivell, DDS, examined
Buck with a mirror and a dental pick. As he probed the problem area,
Buck tensed, moaned and.. *Hhhhoooonndddaaa*  The doctor probed the area
again.

*Hhhhoonnddaaa* 

"Well, Sergeant Frohbisher, you appear to have an abscess in your second
bicuspid on the lower right mandible. Let me check the extent of the
damage…" Once again a loud *Hhhoooonnnnndddaaaaa* emanated from
the area of the sergeants backside as the doctor probed the abscess.
Intrigued, the doctor made a few notations on a chart. 
"Now we will anesthetize the area and treat the abscess. This will take
a bit of time. Relax sergeant." 

In the waiting area Frasers acute hearing kept registering the multiple
occurrences of the following sound: *Hhhooonnndddaaaaa* 
Though embarrassed by his superior officers' frequent flatulence, he
was curious as to the reason for its current consistency in tone. The
odds of repeating the same sound in emissions were very high indeed.
There it was again: *Hhhooonnnddaaa*  *Hhhhoooonnnnddddaaaa* 
 
Eventually Buck came out, still somewhat woozy. The dentist escorted
him. "Ah, Constable Fraser, please take the Sergeant home where he can
rest. Here are some prescriptions for painkillers and antibiotics. I
want to see him in 3 days for a follow up. *Pffffwwwaaaapppptth* 

"Sit here sir, I would like a word with the dentist... er, pardon
me Doctor, I couldn't help but notice that the Sergeants well... er..."

"Farts?" The Doctor replied. 

"Ahem, yes, when I heard them, his farts were rather of a singular sound
quality." 

The Doctor answered "Yes, I too noticed that and came to a profound 
conclusion." 

"Which is...?"
 
"Abscess makes the fart go Honda." 
 
The End 
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