Body     *DIFFERENT KINDS OF PAIN*	

  *By GILDA LILY*   

Rating: PG (M/M) 

Pairing: Benny/Ray  

Category: Poetry 

Warning: Major Angst ("CALL OF THE WILD")  

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, Alliance does, more's the pity. 

Comments can be sent to: jeanniemarie@sprintmail.com 

(c) April 3, 1999 

  It hurts.  

  The bullet wound, sure. 

Worse, 

The strain between us. 

Benny... 

How do I tell you? 

How do I tell you 

That I missed you so much 

That I thought I'd die 

Of the yearning? 

How do I tell you 

That I don't know who 

I am anymore? 

That I'm afraid 

Of who I had to be 

For all those months 

And of who I am now. 

Your eyes tell me all. 

They always did. 

And when you first saw me 

My heart leapt with joy, 

And you were so happy. 

Why couldn't I just have 

Faded away? 

You're confused at my 

Aloofness, 

But I'm in shock. 

Shock at seeing your 

Beautiful face again, 

And not just in my dreams. 

I ache to touch you, 

Whisper how much 

I missed you 

In your ear, 

Take away the hurt 

In your lovely eyes. 

Old habits die hard. 

I took a bullet for you 

Again. 

That was easier 

Than trying to explain 

Why I feel so lost inside 

When I have you again. 

All I have to do 

Is reach out 

And you'd be 

In my arms. 

Oh, Benny, 

Go get your man, 

And think of me kindly, 

Because you got me 

A long time ago. 

Why can't I say it?