Title: Submerged

Author: Mice

Category: Stargate: Atlantis, McKay/Beckett

Warnings: slash, first time, PWP

Spoilers: none

Rating: NC17

Summary: Carson and Rodney get stuck in a very cold place. They attempt to warm up. Set before Hide & Seek.

Archive: If it's on your list, you can archive it. If it isn't and you'd like it, just let me know where you're putting it.

Feedback: Feed me, Seymour.

Website: Mice's Hole in the Wall https://www.squidge.org/mice

Mirror: http://mice.inkpress.org

Disclaimer: Not mine. They belong to many other people. But if they were mine, they'd be having very interesting adventures.

Author's Notes: For Zortified, because she needs more Carson and Rodney in her life. Brain-melted beta by Pas, DarkCygnet and Desala.

~~~

"You'd think the Ancients would have invented elevators, at least," Rodney muttered as they went down the nine billionth flight of stairs in the last hour.

Carson huffed as he followed Rodney down. "Oh, aye, a lift would be a blessing about now." His legs were tired, and he wondered if his knees would give out. "You never did tell me what it is we're doin' down here."

Rodney stopped for a moment, catching his breath. "I found a room with things I'd like you to initialize."

Carson's eyes widened. "Oh, no you don't. You could have told me that before you dragged me away from my infirmary. I don't want to light up any bloody explosive devices nor anything that tosses missiles at people, or any other kind of dangerous thing."

"Who said any of it was dangerous?" Rodney grinned at him. "For all you know, it could be medical equipment I'm taking you to."

Carson shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest, and stayed firmly planted on the stairs where he stood. "With you, it's always something that blows up. If it was medical equipment, you'd have said so long ago and not dragged me down here before telling me what you were about."

"Yeah, well, we're almost there anyway, so just come with me. Either that or you'll just have to climb all those stairs back to the top of the tower for nothing." Rodney tugged on his sleeve, urging Carson forward and down. "It'll be fun."

Carson glowered, following along. "Fun. Oh, aye. Blowing off limbs is always fun. And then I have to put your idiot arse back together again."

"No. Seriously not endangering my ass here. I have no intention of blowing anything up, least of all myself." Rodney didn't let go of Carson's sleeve.

They'd left behind any sign of windows several levels back, and it was getting cold. "We're under water now, aren't we?" Carson asked, uneasy. "What if there are leaks somewhere or something?" He looked around him cautiously. There wasn't any sign of water on the walls or the stairs, nor on any of the floors they'd passed. It didn't rule out some disaster, though. After all, the entire city had been submerged for ten thousand years, and who knew what mischief might have happened in that time? "It's bloody creepy down here without the light coming in through the windows."

Rodney snorted. "So, you're afraid of the Gates, of Ancient technology, and now you're afraid of the dark? Why does this not surprise me?"

"Do you deliberately set out to insult me, Rodney? Because you're doin' a lovely job of it. You were in my infirmary just last night complaining of insomnia because it was creepy here." He poked Rodney in the ribs.

"Hey! Watch it, I bruise easily." Rodney sputtered and swatted at Carson's hand.

"Then don't be insulting me, and don't be dragging me off to cold, nasty places like this to do things I don't want to do," Carson grumbled.

"Look," Rodney said as they reached the bottom of the interminable stairs. "We're almost there. It's only a few corridors down."

"I don't want to do this!" Carson snapped.

Rodney stopped and shrugged, raising an eyebrow. "Okay. Go ahead on up. Waste all the time and mangling of our knee joints we've already put into this effort." He grinned a crooked grin. "Or you can come with me and at least your knees'll get a rest before we have to climb all that way up again."

Carson thought about it for a moment, gazing up the stairs that went onward and upward, receding into the distance. With a defeated sigh he looked back at Rodney. "Right. As long as there's somewhere to sit down that's not wet and nasty, I suppose I should at least rest my knees a bit."

"Good," Rodney muttered. "Mine are about to fall off, and I'd be unutterably pissed at you if I had to chase you back up the damned stairs right now."

"It took us well over an hour to get down here," Carson bitched. "God alone knows how long it'll take us to get back up the bloody stairs."

Rodney nodded, leading Carson down a corridor. "That's why I packed along food and coffee," he said, patting his rucksack. He reached inside and pulled something out. "Powerbar?" He offered one to Carson.

"I could have been working on my ATA research all this time," Carson continued, ignoring him. "Then you could come down into cold, smelly, damp places like this all by yourself and not have to drag me down here with you."

Rodney pulled the powerbar back and unwrapped it, biting into it. "It's more fun with somebody to yell at."

"I'm not here for you to yell at," Carson ranted, following Rodney along.

"Of course not," Rodney said through a mouthful of powerbar. "You're here to initialize equipment. Anyway, we're almost there."

It was only a trip around a few more corners and down a long corridor until they stood before a door. Rodney tapped the access panel and it opened into a small room lined by shelves. The shelves held hundreds of tiny devices. In the middle of the room was a table, two chairs tucked under it. The room was barely big enough for what was inside.

Rodney looked in, a slightly uneasy expression on his face. "Okay, this is it. You wanna go in and get started?"

Carson snorted at him. "I see. So you really brought me down here because of your claustrophobia, didn't you?"

"No!" Rodney said. "My claustrophobia had nothing to do with it!" He pushed Carson into the room and followed, keeping himself near the door. "See?" he said. "I'm inside." His face, however, had paled a bit, and Carson could hear him whispering, "Wide open fields, wide open fields..."

"Right, then," Carson grumbled. "At least if I'm here, let's get on with it." He sat at the table and looked up at Rodney expectantly.

Rodney hesitated a moment. "Oh, right. You want me to come and show you what to initialize."

"That would be the long and the short of it," Carson agreed. He twined his fingers together and twiddled his thumbs impatiently.

Rodney took a deep breath and entered the room all the way. Actually, calling it a room was entirely too generous. It was more like a crowded closet. Rodney pulled things off the shelves and started placing them on the table before Carson, then sat down opposite him. "Okay. Right. How about starting with these?"

"I don't suppose I've a choice."

"No. No, you don't." Rodney glared at him. He nudged one of the geegaws toward Carson across the table.

Carson looked at it, not wanting to touch. "And what does it do?" he asked. "I don't suppose you can tell me that, can you?"

"Well," Rodney said, his voice rising in irritation, "we won't know that until you *initialize* it, now, will we?"

Carson sighed, knowing his friend wouldn't give up until he'd got at least a few of the bloody things turned on. It was disturbing how easily Rodney could get him to do things. Carson knew it was because he liked spending time with the aggravating git. If he were honest with himself, he liked Rodney a good deal more than was probably healthy. He picked up the thing Rodney had shoved at him. "What now?" he asked.

Rodney didn't say anything, his hand spinning in a 'get on with it' gesture.

"These bloody things, I swear they'll be the death of me someday," Carson grumbled. He focused and *pushed* and the wee thing lit up. He handed it to Rodney. "Are you happy now?"

Rodney shook his head. "Nope. I want at least a dozen of these things initialized." He put the one Carson handed him into his rucksack. Carson stared at him. "What?" Rodney asked. "You didn't think I was just going to leave them here after you got them running, did you?"

"Of course not." Carson shook his head and took another bit of Ancient rubbish. He made five of them light up before one started making horrid noises. With a yelp, he threw it over Rodney's shoulder, trying to get it out the door and into the hallway. As it flew, there was an arc of brilliant sparks between the device and the door of the room. The door slammed shut, the device bounced off it, and lights flashed, high-pitched squeals searing his ears. He clapped his hands over them, dropping from his chair under the table. Rodney joined him less than a second later, his hands over his own ears, howling in pain.

Carson kept thinking 'off', frantic, but the squealing kept on, louder and louder until it crescendoed in shower of sparks and smoke. Carson and Rodney huddled under the table for a few moments, trembling against each other. Carson looked over at Rodney.

"Oh, fuck," Rodney muttered.

"What happened?" Carson yelped. "I didn't do it! I mean, I don't think I did it. Did I?" He peered over Rodney's shoulder toward the door. The lock panel, which should have been glowing, was dark, curls of smoke rising from it.

"This is so your fault!" Rodney wailed. "You blew it up!"

"I told you this was a terrible idea," Carson said. "But no, you had to bring me down here into this dank, creepy, horrid place and make me turn on things that lock us into... into closets!"

"*It's not a closet*!" Rodney bellowed. His eyes widened and he started breathing fast and sharp. "Oh my god, it's a closet." He squeezed his eyes shut. "Wide open fields, wide open fields, " he mumbled to himself, his voice taking on a tinge of hysteria. "Wide open fields."

Carson tapped his radio. "Doctor Grodin," he said. There was nothing but static over his earpiece. "Doctor Grodin? Anyone?"

"Oh, no," Rodney rattled. "Oh, nonononono. This is not good. Can't you raise anyone on the radio?" He tapped his own. "Control room? Grodin? Elizabeth? Anybody! Oh my god, there's only static. What the hell did you *do*?" He grabbed Carson by the collar. "You got us stuck in here! Get us out! Open the door!" He was panting and Carson could see he was on the edge of panic.

"Rodney," Carson said, trying to keep his voice even but not quite succeeding. "Rodney, you've got to calm down. The door mechanism looks burnt out. I don't think I can open it, but you know how to fix these things, right?" He wrapped one hand around Rodney's wrist.

"Right, right," Rodney squeaked. He took a deep breath, hand still tangled in Carson's collar. "Fix it. I know how to fix these things. Right. That's why I'm the one in charge of sciences." He shook himself, some of the panic leaving his eyes. "I'm a genius. I know this stuff." He nodded and then his eyes focused on Carson. With a start, he let go of Carson's collar. "Sorry. Not panicking here. Really."

"So then," Carson said. "Just pull your toolkit from your rucksack and get to it. I'm sure we'll be out of here in a moment." He started to straighten up, but his head banged on the underside of the table. "Bloody hell," he muttered. Backing up, he got himself out from under it.

"Toolkit, toolkit," Rodney said, snapping his fingers. He got out from under the table as well and fished about in the rucksack for a moment. His movements grew more frantic as he searched, until finally he was dumping powerbars onto the table amongst the Ancient devices. "Oh crap," he snapped. "It's not here. I don't have a toolkit."

Carson blinked. "Don't have... you came all this way to play with a bunch of bloody Ancient blowing up things and you didn't bring a *toolkit*?" He sank into the chair and let his forehead thump on the tabletop. "We're doomed. They'll never find us. We'll starve to death here, or maybe die of hypothermia. It's *cold* in here, Rodney. How could you not bring your toolkit?"

Rodney looked up at him, panic in his eyes. "We are so screwed."

***

Into hour five of their claustrophobic ordeal, Rodney had pulled the cover panel off the door mechanism with parts he'd disassembled from the doodads on the shelves in the room they were locked into. All of the crystals in the door were fried. None of them were even translucent anymore, much less clear and functional. There were cracks in several. The vague scent of burnt... something lingered in the air.

Carson was huddled miserably in a corner, shivering from the cold. Rodney was about ready to join him. "I'm freezing," he growled as he shifted the crystals yet another time while trying not to remember he was stuck in a tiny closet with his best friend.

"You've said that every two minutes the entire five bloody hours we've been here," Carson grumbled. "I'm cold too, so shut it."

"Can you check the devices again to see if any of them will help us get the door unlocked?" Rodney asked.

Carson just shook his head. "I've already lit up every geegaw in the place at least three times. Those that didn't light before won't be doing it at all. And none of the damned things will open the door. Why are you even asking again?"

Rodney stood and waved his arms at Carson, willing the man to understand. "Because I'm trying to get us *out* of here!" Waving his arms, however, opened his jacket a bit and now he was even colder than he had been. Tossing the part in his hand to the floor in disgust, he wrapped his arms around himself and shuddered. "Fuck, why does it have to be so cold in here?"

"Oh, I don't know," Carson said, glaring at him. "Could it be because we're at least fifty metres under *freezing cold water* at the bottom of the city?"

Rodney staggered over to Carson on stiff legs. "You'd think the Ancients could at least invent central heating."

Carson snorted. "If they couldn't be bothered to invent lifts for a city this size, what makes you think they'd have heating?" He pulled his jacket closer around him. "I've no idea why we think those glowy buggers were so enlightened."

"I never claimed they were enlightened," Rodney said, easing himself down next to Carson. He leaned against his friend, trying to steal a little warmth. "Advanced. I said they were advanced. Enlightenment is a religious concept and thus not even worthy of contemplation."

"I wish one of these stupid wee things put out some heat," Carson muttered, shuffling closer to Rodney. Rodney could hear his teeth chattering. "We're goin' to die of hypothermia if nobody finds us. You really told Elizabeth where you were taking me, right? You weren't lying just to cheer me up?"

Rodney tucked an arm around Carson's shoulder. It was a little warmer that way, at least. He tried not to think about how close he was to the man. "Oh, yes. My good cheer is legendary. I'm known in two galaxies for my upbeat demeanor and my optimism."

"So that means they'll be sending somebody after us eventually, right?" Carson nestled a bit closer under Rodney's arm. It actually felt pretty good. Of course, he probably shouldn't be thinking about the fact it felt good. Or the fact that he liked the idea of being this close to Carson.

"Eventually. If we're not freeze-dried corpses by the time they realize we're missing." Rodney shivered, tugging Carson closer. "Really, trying to share body heat here. Get with the program. I thought they taught you this stuff in voodoo school."

"I don't suppose you've any more of that hot coffee," Carson said, looking at Rodney's pack where it lay near the door. He slid an arm about Rodney's waist.

Rodney shook his head. "No. And please don't remind me, because in about two hours I'm probably gonna have to piss in that empty thermos if nobody rescues us."

Carson gave him a disturbed look. "Oh, and I really didn't need to hear that, Rodney," he said with disgust.

"I don't see a sign for the men's room anywhere around here," Rodney snapped. "And I really don't like the idea of peeing in a corner, thank you very much."

Carson's shoulders sagged and he rolled his eyes. "I should never have come to this bloody galaxy. I always knew I was insane for stepping through that Gate. I should have listened to my mum and stayed in Glasgow, I swear."

"Are you kidding?" Rodney asked. Carson had been one of the few reasons Antarctica had been tolerable, aside from all the inexplicable Ancient technology of course. "How can you say that? That's, that's crazy. Glasgow? That's like saying you wish you'd stayed in... I don't know, Yellowknife or something."

"Yellowknife?" Carson gave him a confused look.

"It's one of the anal orifices of Canada. Look, don't ask. Just... really, if I'm going to freeze to death, I'd rather not do it alone."

"Oh, so you want me to freeze to death with you, is that it, then?" Carson raised an eyebrow at him, still shivering.

"No!" Rodney shook his head and tried to tuck part of himself under Carson's jacket. "No, you totally misunderstood me. As usual, of course, because my thought processes are obviously more intricate than you could possibly follow."

"Would you care to clarify it for my poor, freezing brain then?" Carson said. "Because, really, that sounded like you wanted both of us to die here."

Carson was trying to snuggle under Rodney's jacket now, and they were nearly nose to nose, Carson's warm breath on his face. Rodney just stared into Carson's disturbingly blue eyes, shocked without knowing why. "Uh. No. Death is totally not on my mind. If we just kind of... I don't know, share body heat here, we'll probably live long enough to die of hypothermia in the infirmary. Or, um, something."

"You're daft," Carson muttered, now burrowed under Rodney's jacket, both arms around him, one cold cheek on Rodney's. "The cold's obviously got to your brain."

Wrapping his own arms around Carson, Rodney suddenly realized that the whole physical contact thing wasn't the only thing warming him up. It was... proximity. It was maybe even just Carson. Who, really, when Rodney thought about it, was pretty damned hot, even if he was still shivering. And smelled good. And... damn.

"I think... um... I think," Rodney said softly, "it's more than the cold that's getting to me." Parts of him were starting to notice the fact that he was, essentially, hugging Carson. Closely. With Carson's face buried in his neck, cold nose and all.

Why the cold nose in his neck was turning him on was a complete and utter mystery.

"What," Carson said into Rodney's collar. "Are you going to claim a lack of oxygen in the room now?"

Rodney nuzzled at Carson's neck. "Uh, no." He nibbled a little at the soft skin there, just... tasting a little bit. "It's more like... uh... you."

Carson's head came up, confused blue eyes fixing Rodney in place. "Rodney?"

"Look, if... okay, if we're gonna die of hypothermia, then can we just pretend that my mind is gone so you won't hit me?"

Carson blinked. "Hit you?" He looked like he was holding his breath.

"Or, um... oh fuck it." Rodney kissed him.

He knew he was in way over his head when Carson kissed back. They were both still shivering, but it wasn't entirely from the cold. At least not for Rodney. Oh, no -- there were definitely shivers of desire in there too. His hands moved on Carson's body and Carson's moved on his, both of them still entirely too cold, but some of Rodney's bits didn't care that his toes were probably going to fall off from frostbite.

He might not walk away from this one, but damned if he wasn't at least going to get laid before they both froze to death.

Carson's moan caught in Rodney's gut and something in him snapped. A fire caught in his chest, spreading in him, and the only thing in his world was the heat of Carson's mouth, the sounds he was making, the way Carson yielded when Rodney pushed him onto his back on the floor.

"Carson," he whispered, gasping as he broke their kiss for air. "Oh, wow."

"Don't stop," Carson pleaded, hands burrowing under Rodney's shirt. His fingers were cold on Rodney's back, but warming up, and Rodney barely noticed. He dived back down into their kiss, his body covering Carson's, only wanting to feel this.

Carson's thighs parted, and Rodney slipped between them, both of them still fully clothed, but it was something Rodney needed. One of Carson's legs wrapped around his and Rodney's knees ached against the floor, but he didn't care. Carson was under him, wrapping himself around him, welcoming him.

He kissed his way down Carson's throat and Carson was muttering, "Ohgodohgod," and Rodney tugged at Carson's shirt, sliding his hands under the cloth. God, Carson was warmer now, panting under him, and he tasted so good, like salt and skin and warmth and passion.

"Rodney," Carson groaned, his voice intense and breaking. He arched up under Rodney's touch, eyes closed, his mouth wet and open. Rodney tugged at Carson's belt and opened his friend's pants, feeling the hard heat of Carson's rigid cock with one still-cool palm.

Tugging at his own pants, Rodney gasped, "Touch me. God, Carson I want you to touch me."

Carson's hand slid from Rodney's back, tracing the line of his waist around until it came to his thick, hard shaft and Rodney bit back a cry of pleasure as Carson's fingers wrapped around him. "Yes," he hissed. "Oh, yeah." He thrust into Carson's hand, pressing himself down on the warm body beneath him, stroking Carson's cock as they rocked together.

"Rodney -- Rodney, please," Carson moaned. His eyes were half-open, watching Rodney's face and Rodney leaned down and kissed him, hard and deep as they thrust into each other's hands.

Rodney moved against Carson, realizing he'd never quite understood how far he'd buried this urge, this desire for his friend. He'd drowned it under fathoms of attempted indifference, never willing to admit how much he wanted Carson. How much he'd wanted to see him like this, to feel Carson's body under him, to taste his skin or know how he smelled when he was aroused.

Carson's cock in his hand was hot and hard and thick and oh, god, long and slick and it felt fabulous. The sound of Carson's voice shot through him, leaving Rodney shaking, overwhelmed by his desire. "Want you," Rodney whimpered, "god, Carson I want you so much. Never knew how fucking much I wanted you."

Carson's hand tightened on Rodney's cock and nothing in his body was cold anymore. Cold wasn't even a concept in his universe because Carson was burning his way into him, heating up every damned cell in his body as they rocked together, stroking each other, kissing and moaning and oh god coming--

Rodney gasped, unable to hold it back. It was a tidal wave of heat and emotion and pleasure and it was all fountaining through his body, pumping out of his dick so hard he thought he might pass out. Carson was crying out his name, coming with him, and Rodney could feel the flood of hot, thick liquid on his hand, on his cock, on the skin of his belly where his shirt had ridden up.

They lay there for a few minutes, gasping and panting, Rodney on top of Carson and kissing his neck absently as his brain attempted to reassemble itself.

"Rodney?"

"Hmm."

"I, uh, think we should probably clean up a bit. This is goin' to get sticky and probably cold in a few minutes if we don't."

"You do realize we don't have anything to clean up with," he said to Carson, grinning. "You may have to use your tongue."

Carson laughed. "Oh, aye. I will if you will." Damn, he was gorgeous with that look in his eyes. Why Rodney had never seen it before was yet another mystery.

"I'm not cold anymore," Rodney said.

Carson nodded. "Nor I. But we'd best clean up and stay huddled together if we want to stay that way."

"Right. Of course. You're right." Rodney nodded and leaned in to start the cleanup process.

***

They'd spent another three hours in the tiny room before they were found, and another hour after that before the engineers managed to get the door unlocked and opened. Rodney had, in fact, pissed in the thermos to avoid peeing in the corner. Carson, rather perturbed about it, had ended up doing the same thing.

He sat in his quarters now, staring at Rodney, both of them finally warmer and more comfortable.

"I never, um... never thought we'd do that," Rodney said quietly, blushing a little.

Carson nodded. "I didn't either," he said. His heart was still racing and he tugged the blanket closer around his shoulders. Rodney leaned against him beneath it, holding Carson's arm around his waist.

He liked it, Rodney's arm around him. He wanted it to stay there, wanted Rodney to stay there next to him, leaning on him, touching him. He let his head rest on Rodney's shoulder.

"But really," Rodney said, "it was a good idea. We stayed warm and everything."

Carson turned to look him in the eye. "It wasn't just the staying warm that I liked about it, you know."

"You want to do it again sometime?" Rodney asked. "Without the being trapped in a closet and freezing to death part, I mean."

Carson chuckled. "Do you really think you'd be here under the blanket with me if I hadn't given that some thought?"

"Oh. Good, good. I like that. That you've been thinking about it. That's good."

Carson closed his eyes and shook his head with a sigh. "I had no idea you felt that way, you know."

He felt Rodney move a little, shifting his body until he held Carson in his arms. "I kept trying not to," he admitted.

"So did I," Carson told him. "Stupid of us, I suppose."

"Self-preservation," Rodney said.

"Aye, that."

"Though really, we don't have to play those stupid games anymore. It's not like they can send us back to Earth, and they need us both too much to do anything stupid, like try to hurt us." Rodney didn't sound entirely convinced.

"It's not likely," Carson agreed. "Are you sure you want to do this? With me, I mean?"

Rodney nuzzled at Carson's face and Carson looked up into earnest blue eyes. "Who else would I want to do this with? Do you have any idea how hot you are?"

Carson blinked. "Not as such, no."

Rodney bore him down on the bed with his weight, kissing him as they went. "So hot," he whispered. "God, let me show you."

It stood to reason that Rodney would be as insistent in bed as he was anywhere else. Carson couldn't think of a single reason to argue with him, so he gave in to it, surrendering to the kisses and the touch of Rodney's broad, warm hands. It felt lovely, being touched like that, being wanted so much. He'd never thought Rodney had cared for him, not like this.

"Yes," he said, "show me." Carson let his head fall back as Rodney sucked at his throat, licking and teasing with his tongue. The man's fingers were clever with machinery, but even more so with Carson's body. He'd always known Rodney to be intense and focused, but to be the object of that focus gave form and definition to something new in his life.

Carson had known coming to Atlantis that they might never return to Earth. He knew that being here might mean he was alone for the rest of his life, unattached to anyone, but this was possibility blossoming in him. Rodney's mouth was hot on his skin and those broad, clever hands tugged at his clothing, stripping him naked of more than just the cloth.

He could give himself to this; give himself to Rodney as more than a friend. He had no idea yet how much more, but he wanted to find out. Rodney's teeth tugged at one bared nipple, and Carson groaned, writhing under Rodney's heavy body.

Rodney's lips moved up his chest, up the side of his neck, nibbling at his ear, and with a rush of heated breath, Rodney whispered, "Let me inside you. I want to fuck you, Carson."

It had been years since Carson had trusted another man enough for that, but with Rodney, he wanted it. "Please," he gasped, "aye. Just... just be careful." Rodney answered with a fiery kiss, stripping away all of Carson's defenses.

His tongue moved in Carson's mouth, hot and strong and tasting of coffee and sugar and need. Carson tugged at Rodney's trousers. The blanket tangled between their legs, but neither of them paused, simply kicking away the cloth that covered them. Carson needed this too much, and Rodney's kiss said he did as well.

"So amazing," Rodney said, lips moving against Carson's mouth. "So hot. God, I want you. Wanted you for so long." His hands burned on Carson's naked hips, his bare leg slipping between Carson's thighs. They were both of them naked and tangled in each other's embrace, hard against each other. Carson thrust against Rodney's body, but Rodney held him down, not letting him move. "Let me, let me," he whispered, urgent and intense.

"Slick," Carson gasped. "Need something for lube." He gestured helplessly at the nightstand next to his bed. There was hand lotion there in the drawer, kept for days when the latex gloves he wore so often irritated his hands. "Go slow, Rodney. I need slow."

"Slow," Rodney rasped, "I can do slow." He fumbled for the drawer, opening it and finding the bottle. "How long has it been for you?" Rodney's eyes were dark and his hands were shaking a little as he squeezed out lotion onto his fingers.

"I..." Carson swallowed, nervous but wanting more than he'd believed possible. "Years," he whispered. "It's been years."

Rodney froze for a moment, his eyes locked with Carson's. "Oh, god." His voice shook and he took Carson's mouth in a blazing fury of a kiss. "I'll, god, I'll be careful. I swear."

Carson thought he was already too close to combustion. The look on Rodney's face was nigh unto reverence as he slipped one hand between Carson's legs. Gentle fingers caressed him, not even trying to enter yet. With a gasp and a groan, Carson opened his thighs, needing Rodney's touch.

Rodney watched him intently, his focus absolute. "It'll be easier on you if you're on your side," he said. "We can take it slow, and I can stroke you." There was a hint of a tremor in Rodney's voice as he spoke, and Carson could hear the raw desire in it.

Carson nodded, turning beneath Rodney, and he felt the brush of Rodney's chest and belly on him as they moved. His skin was soft and hot, and Rodney kissed him as his fingers kept up their slow, gentle exploration.

"I want this," Carson said, his own voice breaking. "I want you. Please Rodney." He looked up and met Rodney's eyes and the passion in them stole his breath.

"I can't believe we're doing this," Rodney whispered, and he traced Carson's neck and shoulder with damp kisses. "Can't believe you want this, you want me."

Fingers circled Carson's anus, slick and teasing, pressing carefully and backing away before they could penetrate. He gasped, pushing back against the touch. "Yes," he begged. "I'm so hard, Rodney. God, I want this so much."

Carson's fingers tangled in the sheets, his hands fisting as he fought to keep control of his body. He didn't want to come before Rodney was inside him, but it had been so long since anyone had touched him like this, and it felt so good. He was panting when Rodney slipped the tip of one finger in, just a wee bit.

He'd never known, never believed Rodney could be gentle like this. Big, blunt fingers moved slowly, teasing him, and Carson gasped in a deep breath, forcing his body to relax. Rodney's finger moved in a bit more, just a centimetre or so, breaching the tight muscle there. Carson groaned and he felt Rodney shudder against him.

"Oh, god, Carson. You are so fucking hot." Rodney kissed his neck and shoulder, his moans sounding almost like sobs as his finger slid in further.

It burned, but Carson knew that the pain wouldn't last long. He pushed himself to relax into it, letting Rodney's finger slide all the way in until his knuckles rested against Carson's balls. "Yes," Carson choked out, "oh, yes, I need this."

"You're so tight," Rodney whispered, his voice a hiss against Carson's neck. "I don't want to come before I'm in you. I can't believe how... god, Carson, I'm so fucking hard it hurts." Carson felt Rodney's hard shaft press against his hip, fluid leaking from it, and he pushed back against Rodney's hand, wanting more.

Another finger eased slowly into him, and there was more pain with it, but less intense now. He knew Rodney was big, that he would fill him in ways he hadn't even come close to experiencing in far too long, but he loved that feeling. The anticipation left him panting even harder as Rodney's fingers moved, slow and careful inside him.

Carson gripped the sheets harder, resisting the urge to take his cock in hand and stroke. It would all be over if he did that, and he wanted Rodney in him more than he'd ever thought possible. Rodney's body was curved over his, lips caressing him, one hand moving in his hair, the other slowly, torturously penetrating him. He moaned.

"Don't think I can wait much longer," Rodney said, his voice tight and controlled. "I need to be in you."

Carson had fallen too deeply into sensation to speak, so he just nodded, hoping Rodney would move slowly. His entire body was shimmering, on edge with desire and need. He thought something in him would break if he didn't have this.

Rodney pulled his fingers out as slowly as he'd slipped them in, and then there was more lotion, cool and soothing on Carson's skin. Blunt pressure and heat and then the thick head of Rodney's cock opened him, moving into him, and he groaned, loud and harsh.

"A-are you okay?" Rodney gasped, stopping.

Carson nodded, his eyes squeezed shut, opening himself as best he could. "'S okay," he gasped, "'s good. Please." His fingers were going to cramp if he clutched the sheets any tighter, but he needed Rodney inside him more than he'd needed anything in his life.

Slowly, a little at a time, Rodney inched inside him. Carson groaned again, and Rodney was kissing him, holding him tight as Carson's cock softened a little from the penetration. There was a gasp and a low, gutteral moan and Rodney thrust again, moving into him more deeply. Rodney's hand closed around Carson's cock and they moved together, gently and carefully.

God, it was good.

So thick and so deep, and Rodney was whispering Carson's name as he stroked his cock back to full, throbbing hardness. Carson could only whimper as Rodney moved inside him, and he knew Rodney was holding back for all he was worth, trying to keep from pounding into Carson's still too sensitive body. He moved his legs more widely apart, and Rodney slipped in further, finally fully within him. Rodney's moan was wild and sensual and Carson shuddered from the sound of it.

"So good, so good," Rodney whispered, his hot breath in Carson's ear. It sent sparks down Carson's spine, lighting everything in him on fire. He pushed back against Rodney's slow thrusts, needing it, needing Rodney.

"Oh, god, please," Carson moaned. "So deep."

"C-can't hold on," Rodney stammered. "God, gonna come."

"Now, please, now," Carson begged, wanting to feel it all. Rodney pushed into him, groaning, and Carson could feel Rodney throbbing inside him as he thrust, moving faster until he was fucking Carson hard and crying out Carson's name.

Carson's hand twined with Rodney's, stroking his cock as Rodney shuddered, still coming inside him. He wanted faster now, harder, and Rodney squeezed, bucking on top of him, hips stuttering in rhythm with their hands. Carson could feel the fire building in him, blowing through him, and he came hard and fast, gasping, "Yes, yes, god, yes."

Trembling, Rodney eased his weight down on Carson's body. They slumped together, exhausted, Rodney's arms tight around him, his face resting on Carson's neck. "Carson."

Carson reached up with one shaky hand, caressing Rodney's face. "Th-that was incredible," he whispered, his voice rough and dry.

Rodney just nodded. Carson kissed him.

"You realize you've ruined me for the rest of the galaxy," Rodney mumbled.

"Didn't think you were looking to share a bed with the rest of the galaxy," Carson said after he'd had a moment to catch his breath.

"Not anymore," Rodney said. He kissed Carson's cheek. "Don't need them if I have you."

Carson took Rodney's hand and held it to his heart. "Oh, you've got me, right enough."

~~pau~~