Rating: Probably a mild R, for boobies.
Disclaimer: I have no rights to anything except my own words, and even then I may have borrowed shamelessly. ;)
"Winston, isn't Janine's lunch hour over yet?" Ray asked, coming down the stairs from the third floor.
The fourth Ghostbuster turned his wrist to glance at his watch. "Yeah, ten minutes ago," he went back to his newspaper, "why?"
Ray jerked his thumb upwards. "She's still asleep on the roof. I guess she's still trying to get an even tan."
Winston couldn't help but grin. "She still trying to look good for Egon?"
"Yeah, I guess so," Ray nodded. "She has the back of her bikini undone, and everything. She must hate tan lines."
Peter's head popped up from where he had been previously napping on the couch. "Undone? Like the women do at the beach?"
Winston could see the devious wheels at work in the Venkman mind already. "Don't you dare, Pete. Janine'd skin you alive, and have Slimer rub some salt on it."
"I'm doing it for Egon, honestly," Peter swore with hand upraised, at the same time crossing his heart. "If she's going through all that trouble just for Egon, it's my sworn duty to make sure he appreciates it."
"You're not gonna confiscate my camera, are you?" Ray asked.
"Nope, just your rubber spider...where is it?"
"Hey Egon!" Peter strolled into the lab, looking like the cat that swallowed the canary, "there's something on the roof you just gotta see!"
Egon didn't look up from his microscope. "You're not spying on the neighbors again, are you Peter?" he queried.
"No," Venkman snorted, "not since Zed hid his binoculars. And you won't even let me use your telescope." Time for some old-fashioned wheedling. "Aw comon, this only comes around once in a blue moon, so you just gotta see it." Peter meandered over to Egon's sample refrigerator and opened it.
Egon sighed tolerantly. "Very well, I shall be up momentarily." He eyed the small beaker in Venkman's hand. "Why do you need a slime sample, Peter?"
The psychologist paused. "Bait," he answered, "this makes 'em sit up and look good." With a sadistic grin, Peter left the lab for the roof.
The physicist narrowed his eyes at the now vacant doorway. Something was up; he noticed that rubber spider Peter was palming in his left hand as he left...
Up on the roof, Peter tiptoed to the other side of the dozing secretary, letting her prone body be in full view of the doorway downstairs. He waited until he heard footsteps coming up the stairs before wriggling the rubber spider against Janine's bare shoulder. "Janine," he whispered, "there's a spider crawling on you..."
"Stuff it, Dr. V," Janine growled; apparently she wasn't asleep after all, "you tried that stunt on me last year, remember?"
"Drat," the psychologist pouted, remembering, "well, at least I have plan two..." he upended the beaker of cold slime onto Janine's back.
With a screech, Janine rolled up onto her elbow, her other hand clawing futilely at her back. Peter hastily avoided his eyes, lest Egon accuse him of leering at his would-be girlfriend. "Surprise!" Peter crowed, when he heard the loud gasp coming from the roof doorway.
His triumphant smile faltered when he heard Ray's retreating voice: "I'm sorry, Egon! I didn't mean to look, honest!"
"Look at what, Ray?" Egon's voice was just now starting up the steps, "What did you look at?"
"Ray got an eyeful of me, that's what he looked at," Janine snarled near Venkman's ear. She must have gotten to her feet pretty quickly, and Peter was waiting for the swift kick to the tush that was sure to follow.
He risked a peek through his fingers, and discovered that she was covering her front with her bikini top. With a murderous glare, she stomped past Egon towards the stairs. "You take care of him, Egon, I'm gonna wash this stuff off," she tossed over her shoulder as she left.
Peter gulped, watching Egon through his parted fingers as the lanky scientist folded his arms and gave Venkman a look; one that didn't brook any argument.
"Peter," Egon's voice was stern, "why did you embarrass Janine like that?" He advanced slowly, and Peter wondered which fate would be worse; taking a butt-kicking from Janine, Egon, or throwing himself off the roof?
"All right, so the plan backfired. You were supposed to get an eyeful, not Ray." Now the poor kid's scarred for life, Peter thought to himself.
"And why did you think I needed an 'eyeful?'"
"It seemed like a good idea at the time?" Peter cringed at his own weak response.
Egon leaned down until he was nose to nose with Peter. "Venkman, I appreciate you trying to spice up my love life, but please, keep such impulses to yourself; for your safety."
Peter grinned weakly, "Does that mean you're just gonna let me off with a friendly warning, Spengs, old pal?"
One blond eyebrow arched up. "Oh no, there's going to be payback, but when and where will be determined later...when you're unprepared for it."
Peter watched his friend stalk away. Crap, now he's gonna have to watch for cold slime in the bed, or roaches under his pillow. With a sigh, Peter meekly followed Egon back inside.
As the two entered the rec room, a hushed conversation between Ray and Winston quickly became silent. Ray, still red-faced, opened his mouth to apologize. Egon forestalled it with an upraised hand. "I know you didn't do it on purpose, Raymond. I'll talk to Janine on your behalf." Ray shut his mouth with a snap, smiling in relief. "I trust this incident will not be mentioned ever again?" Egon continued.
All three men in the room nodded their heads. "Good." With that last word, Egon ascended the stairs to return to the lab, and Peter slunk off to hide from Janine's wrath for a while. The room was silent for a moment before Winston looked up from his newspaper.
"Were they perky?"
"And how," Ray answered with a grin.
A few weeks later, Peter entered the lab, to see Egon lying on the floor, his hands under his head. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be asleep.
"Spengs?" Egon cracked one eye open and looked up at him, "what are you doing lying on the floor, when there's a perfectly good couch to lie on and nap?"
"That travesty of a couch is lumpy, and the lumps seem to conform to your body specifications; only you could nap on it," Egon retorted. "Besides, they say that lying on a hard surface is good for the spine and the lower lumbar regions." He wriggled exaggeratedly, as if making himself comfortable on the floor.
Peter shrugged. "Whatever you say, Egon." He looked at his friend up and down, "Hmm, well, I came to say lunch was ready, so come on down."
"In a moment, Peter." When he heard the lab door close again, Egon opened his eyes and looked up at the skylight. He smiled up at the sight of the topless Janine, lying on her stomach while sunbathing on the skylight, her bikini top discarded beside her. She smiled down at him and waved.
The End
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