Title: Alcohol, Spells & Reporters

Author: Chienne & D. Lee

Feedback E-mail: chienne_d_lee@yahoo.com

Pairing: Severus/Harry

Rating: PG-13 thru NC-17

Disclaimer: Not owned by us but JK Rowling

Feedback is always appreciated.

Distribution: Any lists it's being sent to. Anyone else just ask.

Summary: What happens when you mix alcohol and magic. You might get … Plot Bunny : Harry defeats Voldemort (dun dun dunnnnnnn!) During the victory celebrations, Harry is asked what his reward should be and he says, "I want Severus Snape, for all eternity." Or something like that... Do as you will to the plotbunny, just take it, it's eaten my last Godiva bar.....*sniff*

Recommendations/further ideas: *Sev is age-regressed by Harry/or Other, to a teen/young adult, to be a more aesthetic boy toy for Harry.

*Sev mpreg

*Anything else is up to you.......

The night was filled with sounds of debauchery all over England. It was the third night of celebration of the defeat of Voldemort. Wizards everywhere had gone crazy with the news. At Hogwarts, the halls rang non-stop for the past three days. Hagrid had opened up his keg of never ending special brew on the second night of celebration. Into this wild spectacle came Casper Stevenson. The new star reporter for the Daily Prophet. He had been sent to Hogwarts to gain an exclusive interview with the hero Harry Potter. Entering through the front doors of the school Casper ran into a dazed looking student. Asking where he could find Mr. Potter he was sent towards the Grand dinning hall.

In the hallway a half dozen students ran as if their lives depended on a quick departure from the dinning hall. Reaching the doors Casper could hear what sounded like an out of control frat party. The doors flew open as another student fled the hall with a look of terror. Following through the door was an obviously drunk half giant. Hanging from him were several angry pixies. Taking a deep breath, Casper threw back his shoulders and opened the doors. It was bedlam.

On one side of the room there appeared to be several live size posters of various know deatheaters. The other end of the room stood at least twelve centaurs taking aim at the posters with their bows. Above the hall on a broom was flying Sirius Black. Holding onto the broom with one hand Sirius took a long drink from the tankard he was holding. Lowering his drink he threw his head back to belch. Weaving back and forth on the broom he yelled, "Take aim and Fire!" Dropping to the ground, Casper narrowly escaped becoming a pincushion as the centaurs let loose their arrows. Screams filled the room as the arrows hit the posters in various areas. Laughter filtered down from the ceiling at this. The centaurs reached back for another round of arrows.

Looking up he saw his intended victim. Harry was sitting at the high table along with several others. Harry was twirling his glasses as he leaned into Dumbledore. It appeared as if Albus Dumbledore was pulling his beard from his plate while laughing at what Harry was saying to him. Next to Harry was sitting the infamous Remus Lupin. Lupin had his head down on the table as he eyed the flying Black. On the other side of Dumbledore was sitting the current Minster of Magic, Arthur Weasley. On his head was dripping a used punch bowl. Gaining his feet, Casper approached the table.

"Mr. Potter ... Mr. Potter can I ask you a question for the Daily Prophet." Casper said as he reached the table. Pulling out a note pad from his pocket he looked at Harry. "Now that you have defeated Voldemort what do you feel would be a fitting reward for yourself?"

*

Daily Prophet World Exclusive

Harry Potter Gets Married

Byline by: Casper Stevensons

It was my honor last night to attend the wedding of the century to the wizarding world. On a simple assignment I went last night Hogwarts School of Wizardry to interview the hero of the day Harry Potter. Upon arriving at the school I was directed to the main dinning hall . Walking into the hall I saw that Mr. Potter was in meeting with our beloved new Minister of Magic Mr. Arthur Weasley along with Albus Dumbledore. The other attendants to this meeting were Hogwart’s Professors Remus Lupin and Sirius Black.

My first question to Mr. Potter caused a great debate among the attendants at the table. I simply asked what should Mr. Potter's reward be for defeating You Know Who. A heated discussion took place after this question. Many suggestions were offered to Mr. Potter. Everything from a lifetime supply of lemon drops to King of the Wizarding world. Turning to Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley pressed him for an answer. With great dignity Mr. Potter announced that he wanted to marry his secret love, Professor Severus Snape. Many aahs filled the room at this.

It was decided that the wedding should take place as soon as possible to avoid any complications. Dumbledore and Professor Black were sent to bring back Professor Snape. On their return, Professor Snape seemed to be overjoyed at the prospect of marrying Mr. Potter. He was practically struggling with his escorts to the dinning hall. His tears of joy ran down his face at the sight of Mr. Potter. Mr. Weasley motioned all the participants into their correct positions before starting the ceremony. Professor Lupin answered for Professor Snape, as he was too emotional to answer. Mr. Potter seemed quite happy as he answered the questions of do you take this man. His heartfelt cry seemed to deafen his best man Professor Black. Professor Snape's best man Rubeus Hagrid spent the ceremony holding up the overwhelmed Professor. At the conclusion Professor Snape shyly accept his kiss from his new husband Mr. Potter.

The reception was held in the dinning hall following the ceremony. Many of the students were called down from their dorms to help celebrate the marriage. The toast was inspirational from Professor Black. His comments of "make my godson happy or else" was greeted with applause from all. The happy couple was placed at the high table as they opened their gifts. A toaster oven from his housemates was just a welcomed as the age reducing spell cast on Professor Snape by Dumbledor. Professor Black offered his personal collection of wizardry sexual manuals to Mr. Potter. This was received with delight as well as much amusement. The most unusual gift was from Professor Lupin. He preformed the rarely used spell of Fertilious on Professor Snape after it was noted that the couple should have children. It was at this time Mr. Potter announced that the couple would be leaving the hall to start on the children. Rice was tossed at the couple as Mr. Potter carried his new groom off to the! ir quarters in the dungeon.

We at the Daily Prophet wish the happy couple many long years of happiness together.

*

The pounding in his head seemed to be gaining in strength as Harry woke. He made a mental note of never ever mixing alcohol and spells again in his lifetime. It just hurt too much. His whole body was feeling the pain. Feeling a warmth to his right he slowly rolled toward it. There appeared to be another person in bed with him. Wrapping his arm around the person, Harry snuggled up. A quiet moan was heard from the other person. Prying open one eye Harry saw that not only was he not in his bed but he had no idea of who the young man was next to him. Closing the eye he placed a kiss on the bare shoulder in front of him. Hoping to get a clear explanation later, Harry started to drift off to sleep.

"Mr. Potter, if you think that I am going to do page 283 again you are out of your mind." Snape whispered to him.

Sitting straight up in bed Harry turned to his right. There laying next to him was a younger looking Severus Snape. Not only was he younger looking but he also had several hickeys on his neck and shoulders. Looking around the room, Harry realized that he was not in a dorm room but the private bedchamber of Snape. His and the professors clothes were shattered around the room and a pair of handcuffs were hanging from the bedpost. Turning towards Snape, Harry cried out "Oh shit. It's not a dream!"

"No, Mr. Potter, it was not a dream." Echoed in the room. Severus Snape looked on with amusement as his spouse made a mad dash for the bathroom. The sounds of retching could be heard as he rose from the bed. Picking up a discarded robe, he walked across the room. A bit of movement caught his eye. Turning he looked into the mirror, raising a hand he touched his face and the younger image did the same. This was a face he had not seen in twenty years. In wonder he whispered, " Well, Sev it looks like you have gained a new lease on life with a few complications. What in the hell are you going to do with Harry Potter as your husband." Running his hand over his face, he looked into the mirror again. Suddenly it hit him. Remus Lupin had cast that fertility spell on the "happy" couple. Looking down at his body, Severus grew angry. Not only did that group of drunken do gooders change his age but there was a good chance that he was pregnant. How in Merlins nam! e was he going to get out of this one?

A pitifully moan drew his attention from the mirror, crossing the room he entered the bathroom and leaning against the doorway he took in the scene. There on the floor, by the toilet lay a pale Harry Potter. Severus turned to the counter where he picked out a potion bottle. Moving over to Harry he held out the bottle.

" Drink up Potter. We have to talk."

Turning bloodshot eyes towards his husband Harry croaked, " Professor … I am so sorry."

"Drink the potion Potter" Severus snapped at him.

Pulling the top off, Harry raised the bottle to his mouth. With a quick glance at Severus, he downed the potion. As soon as he swallowed the bitter potion, his face turned three shades of green. Turning quickly he reached for the toilet as the last of the alcohol was expelled from his body. Taking a deep breath, he turned to Severus.

"What in the name of Merlin’s Balls did you give me?" he rasped.

"It is called ‘The Hair of the Dog’. Now that the toxins from your drunken binge are removed from you, we have a few things to discuss." Severus sneered. "Just because we shagged a few times after some battles does not mean that I want to spend the rest of my life with you!" Breathing deeply he continued, "Now .. because of you and your drunken request I am twenty years younger, married to you and most likely PREGNANT!"

By the end of Severus’ tirade Harry had past pale green and was hitting ghostly white. With his mouth gasping for air like a fish, Harry managed to squeak out "pregnant" before he fainted. Looking down at his pale mate Severus shook his head. Carefully he lifted up Harry. Moving into the other room he placed Harry on the scene of the crime. His bed. Grabbing the quilt he covered Harry. Moving to the other room he pulled his wand to start a fire. With a bit of floo powder he called for the one person who could help him now. "Poppy I need your help."

"Oh Severus, are you all right?" she asked as moved into the room. On the outside he appeared good. He was certainly younger but for the most part he looked good if one could over look the love bites on his neck. Turning she looked in the bedroom. There was Harry still passed out. His complexion was pale but that was to be expected from the amount of alcohol he was reported to have consumed. Shaking her head Poppy grabbed Severus’ arm and led him to a chair infront of the fireplace. Pulling out a scroll and her wand, she began a simple spell to check his health. As the spell finished she looked over the scroll. Tisking she sat down in a chair facing him. Laughing softly she asked, " Well cousin Severus … good or bad?"

With a slight smile Serverus replied, " Give me the bad first Pop. That way I can enjoy the good."

"Your marriage made the paper. I would get ready for the howlers that are sure to come. As to your .."

Severus jumped up yelling "Oh no … there was this reporter last night..."

*

The morning edition of the Daily Prophet was sitting on the kitchen table waiting to be read as Molly Weasley prepared her morning tea. Everything was finally coming together for her family she mused. The ministry was out trying to stop the wild celebrations since Voldemorts defeat. Arthur had spent the night at Hogwarts so he was safe from the idiots running wild with magic. Her oldest children were well established in their careers. Her beloved twins had made a go with their joke shop. It turned out to be one of the most sucessful shops in Diagon Alley. Her two babies, Ron and Ginny, were sleeping upstairs. Ron had sucessfully completed his seventh year at Hogwarts and was waiting to test for a job with the ministry. Ginny was dating that nice young man Nevill Longbottom and was looking forward to her last year at Hogwarts. Yes every thing was well in the world. Untill she opened the paper.

The headline read "Harry Potter Gets Married". With disbelief she began to read the article. With a shaking hand she placed her tea cup down as she read about her husbands involment in this travesty of justice. This had to be some kind of joke. There was no way that Arthur could have done this. He would not have allowed that sweet boy marry that man! She refused to believe it.

The only way she could be sure that Harry was safe would be to go there herself. If there was a chance that this was true she would have to save Harry and deal with Arthur. Thats all there was to it. With a determined glint in her eye she went up stairs. After preparing to leave she returned to the kitchen. Pulling out a slip of paper she wrote a note to her children saying:

Dear Ron and Ginny -

I had to go to Hogwarts. Please read the paper. That should explain. There is lunch in the icebox. Remember that you have that interview this afternoon. I will owl you with what I find at Hogwarts. Don't worry. This has to be some kind of a misunderstanding. I will clear it by dinner.

Love

Mother

After placing the note by the tea cups, she went to the fireplace. Calling out the Three Broomsticks she entered the floo system. Quickly exiting the fireplace she headed for the front door. Pushing her way through the morning crowd she left the building. She was on a mission and no one was going to stop Molly Weasley from saving Harry Potter.

END PART 3