The Winning Bid

Author/ pseudonym: Morgana.

Email: morganalebeau@yahoo.com

Fandom: The Sentinel.

Parings: Blair/Jim.

Rating: R

Archive: Yes, just drop me a note telling me where you're archiving it.

E-mail address for feedback: morganalebeau@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: The Sentinel is a creation by Danny Bilson and Paul DeMeo and belongs to Paramount Pictures, Pet Fly Productions & UPN.

Summary; It's a benefit auction and Simon tells Blair to participate. Who will place the winning bid and wine and dine Sandburg

THE WINNING BID

By Morgana

"Sandburg, you are participating in the benefit," Simon stated clearly. Grinning like a Cheshire cat, he looked at the tip of his cigar. "We'll 'auction' you off last. You know... save the best for last," he said with a wink.

"You can't be serious, Simon!" Blair paced the captain's office. He had to find a way out of this! The benefit auction had been the mayor's idea to raise badly needed funds. Most cops had gladly agreed to pull their weight, and Blair was more than willing to help, but he refused to be 'sold off' as a date for a night. The woman who 'acquired' him was entitled to spend the evening with him. Cascade PD would pay for a candlelight dinner in an exclusive restaurant.

"Forget about it, Simon. I'm not doing this!" He came to a stop in front of Simon's desk. "Why don't you do it if you're so passionate about raising funds? I know it's for a good cause, but... " He felt bad about saying no, knowing that the money would go to widows and children of police officers who had died in the line of duty.

"Sandburg, I won't accept no for an answer!" Simon tapped the tip of the cigar against the ashtray and then studied the anthropologist. Blair's response surprised him. Why did this upset Sandburg? He probably wouldn't have asked the observer if it hadn't been for all the women working at the department who had asked him whether Blair Sandburg was participating. Those ladies would pay a lot of money to wine and dine Sandburg!

"What about Jim?" Blair pointed to Jim, sitting behind his desk in the bullpen. "Why don't you just 'auction' him off? That will raise all the money you need!"

Jim, who was listening in on the conversation, shot Blair a wicked glance. He'd expected Simon to ask Blair, but Blair's resistance surprised him. What was the big deal? Slowly, he got up from his chair and strolled into the captain's office.

Blair was pouting, realizing Jim had heard every word. "Why don't you do it? I'm not even a cop! Just an unpaid consultant!"

"I've already made a donation, Chief." Jim leaned against the wall, studying his partner and he didn't like the paleness of Blair's face. Things hadn't been great between them since they'd returned from Sierra Verde. Yes, Blair had moved back in, but the situation was still tense. He'd failed Blair when he hadn't stopped Alex, but he couldn't change the past. Didn't make him feel less of a loser though.

"Why me?" Blair whimpered. "What about Brown or Rafe?"

"They're already in and love the idea," Simon explained impatiently, wondering why Blair made such a big deal out of nothing. "You'll just have dinner with the lady and she'll drop you off at the loft at midnight. Come on, Sandburg!"

Blair felt miserable. He didn't want to do this! The ladies would probably pay huge sums for men like Rafe and Blair Sandburg wouldn't fetch more than 25 bucks at most. That would be so embarrassing and humiliating. After Sierra Verde he'd completely lost his sense of self-worth and couldn't imagine anyone wanting to pay to have dinner with him. "I don't want to do this, Simon," he pleaded one last time.

"Tough. It's for a good cause, Sandburg," Simon reminded him. "We need the money."

Jim had been quiet, reading his partner's emotions in those baby blue eyes. He couldn't stand the sight of Blair hurting. "Maybe you should ask someone else, Simon."

Blair's head jerked back. So even Jim didn't think he was good enough to take part in the auction? That set off his anger and frustration. "I'll do it, Simon. Just tell me where and when and I'll be there!" He walked over to the doorway and slammed the door behind him.

"Jim? What's going on between the two of you? Things changed after we came back from Sierra Verde. I've never seen the kid so insecure and angry before." Simon couldn't help being worried. During these last few years Blair Sandburg had become part of Major Crime, his family.

"I don't know," Jim said honestly. "We're not really talking. I don't know where to start."

"You should apologize to the kid," Simon replied sternly. "You were way out of line when you came down so hard on him after he apologized. I still don't understand how you could tell him that you need a partner you can trust. Dammit, Jim. Blair's the only one you trust!"

Shamefaced, Jim stared at the floor. "Yeah, I did say that, didn't I? I feel like such a shit for telling him that. You're right," he acknowledged and looked up at his captain and friend. "I owe him an apology."

"The kid didn't know Alex was a criminal. Knowing Blair, he was so thrilled that he forgot to mention it to you." Simon poured Jim and himself a cup of coffee. "Though I find it hard to believe he never tried to tell you."

Jim nodded his head. "Maybe I just wasn't listening?" His thoughts drifted back to the evening that Blair had gotten home early. He had been preparing dinner and suddenly he had heard a jaguar's growl. He had pulled his gun before opening the door. Later, after Blair had shed his coat he had cut down all conversation. And then he remembered...remembered Blair saying... 'I met this woman today...'

"Jim? Are you okay?" Simon disliked the look in his friend's eyes.

"I just remembered something... Fuck, I do think he tried to tell me..." He felt even worse now. Damn, he'd been such an insensitive bastard! It had been easy to put all the blame on Blair and he'd never wondered about his own part in the fiasco. A sense of regret swept through him. "Simon... I've been such a jerk... I never listened to him, just told him to shut up."

"It's not too late to change things," Simon pointed out to him. "He'll accept your apology. We both know that the kid worships the ground you walk on."

Jim gave him a puzzled look. "Simon?"

"Jim, don't tell me you haven't figured it out yet!" Simon shook his head in disbelief. "The kid's in love with you! It's all over his face. His smile lights up the room when you're near. Consider all the things he did for you! Do you think he would stick around if he weren't in love with you? You can be an arrogant son of a bitch, and when you're mad the kid is the first one you take it out on. Has to be love, Jim."

Flabbergasted, Jim dropped onto a chair. "I never knew!" He carefully considered his next words before speaking them. "Do you really think he's in love with me?"

"Jim, if you tell the kid to jump, he asks how high." Simon took his seat behind the desk again. "Are you telling me you never suspected that he loves you?"

"No," Jim whispered. "But it explains everything, doesn't it? Blair turning down Borneo for me... risking his life over and over again and... " A memory flashed in his mind. "I kissed Alex in front of him... twice..."

Simon sucked in his breath. "Jim, you need to talk to him, but before you do... how do you feel about him?" Simon could only hope Jim wouldn't run away from the truth or repress it. "Do you love Sandburg?"

Jim remained silent. Did he? His thoughts spun and he had to say them aloud to figure them out. "I care about him Simon, a lot."

"Jim, when he died..." Simon stopped, knowing the words would pull his detective into the past, "what did you feel?"

"A loss... I felt like I couldn't live without him." Jim released a deep sigh. "When did this get so complicated?"

"You entered the Sandburg zone three years ago," Simon kindly reminded him. "Do you want this to work? If you do, you'll have to tell the kid how you feel and what you want, or you'll lose him."

"I'm not good with words," Jim whispered. "I'll clam up."

"Then why don't you show him you care?" Simon nodded his head. "I've got an idea, Jim."

"I'm willing to try anything." Jim was still thinking about Simon's earlier question. Did he love Blair in that way? Enough to be lovers?

"The auction tomorrow, place the highest bid."

"Simon," Jim said, feeling distinctly uncomfortable, "if I do that the entire PD will know what's going on."

"You can't keep this a secret anyway. I know Blair... it'll show on his face. Maybe making this public will convince the kid you're serious. Have dinner with him and talk. Really talk, Jim. Tell him what you told me."

"I don't know if I can do that," Jim whispered softly. "It's a big step."

"But it might convince the kid to stay and give you a second chance." Simon sipped from his coffee. "This might work, Jim."

"Or it might backfire on me." Jim got to his feet and opened the door. "I'll think about it."

"Good," Simon purred, "and now get back to work, detective!"

///

It was already late when Jim finally arrived home. The loft was dark and strangely quiet. Briefly, panic gripped him upon entering the loft. It looked deserted and immediately he focused his senses on Blair, picking up on a steady heartbeat and regular breathing. Looked like Blair had gone to bed early.

Jim slipped out of his coat and headed for the kitchen. After drinking some orange juice he sneaked over to Blair's room. The door was ajar and Jim peeked inside. He couldn't help smiling, realizing that Blair had fallen asleep while fully dressed. As he leaned against the doorframe he studied the younger man. Deep lines of worry were etched onto his brow and he still looked too pale. Had Blair lost weight? Almost seemed like it.

When it came down to trusting Blair, he knew he'd made some bad mistakes. Trust. He should have trusted Blair, but instead of doing that he'd pushed Blair away, pushed him out of his life. Blair had done so much for him, had taught him everything he now knew about his senses and had brought the joy back into his life. Before Blair had entered his life he had dragged himself to the station and back home.

//Do I love him? It's not that easy. Blair means a lot to me, but do I love him? Do I want to take him into my arms and make love to him?// The questions continued to circle in his mind and he took a step into Blair's bedroom. Finally, he reached the bed and allowed his fingers to caress a lock of auburn hair. He'd always wanted to do that, but had controlled the urge.

//Yeah, I guess the answer is yes,// he finally admitted to himself. It frightened him, discovering he had feelings for Blair that ran so much deeper than friendship, but he could no longer deny it. He loved Blair Sandburg and had probably repressed it for years.

As Blair moved onto his other side, Jim quickly stepped back, not wanting to disturb his friend's sleep. Blair was still recovering from dying. His lungs acted up when he was under a lot of stress and sometimes the most horrid nightmares tormented the young anthropologist. //My mistake... my failure,// Jim knew instinctively. //I made it easy for her to kill you. I kicked you out of the loft and she knew you only had one place left where you could go. Blair, I never wanted this to happen!//

But maybe Simon was right and he could change things. He would attend the benefit tomorrow and no matter what cost, he would place the winning bid. And during dinner, he would tell Blair the feeling was mutual. //I'll claim you, Blair...count on it!//

///

Nervously, Blair tried to regain his calm. The benefit was a success so far. The mayor was pleased with the collected money and Simon, who was acting as master of ceremonies, never seemed to stop smiling. It made him nervous as hell.

He found a nicely secluded spot, far away from the little stage they'd erected to show off the 'dates for one evening', and tried hard not to listen to the women placing their bids. Brown went for 200 dollars and someone even paid 250 bucks for Joel. So far 100 dollars had been the lowest bid, and that had been for Collins from Vice.

Blair clasped his clammy hands, constantly telling himself to think only of the good cause. Even if he were only good for 25 bucks, he would help make that contribution.

From the corner of his eye, he caught sight of Jim, who felt equally uncomfortably in this crowd. He briefly wanted to tell Jim to dial the noise down, but the Sentinel no longer needed guidance. Jim had mastered his senses.

Maybe that was his cue to leave town? Jim no longer needed a guide and their 'friendship' was ruined, which was solely his fault. He should have persisted in telling Jim about Alex, but his friend had told him to shut up and he had never tried to bring the subject up again.

//He doesn't trust me. He needs a partner he can trust, who'll watch his back and I'm no longer that person. Jim told me himself. Maybe I should just get out of his life. That will make things a lot easier for him. He can get himself a new partner, one he can trust, and I... maybe I'll take that offer to head that expedition into Tibet.// He hadn't mentioned that offer to Jim yet, keeping it to himself.

"Sandburg, get over here! You're next!"

Resigned, Blair walked over to the stage. Simon waved at him to hurry. //Yeah, maybe I should go to Tibet. It's only for one year, and later I can write my dissertation.// Rainier had approved of him changing the subject of his dissertation and had given him an extension. 'The Sentinel' by Blair Sandburg would never be written. He'd deleted all files on his laptop and had torn up all written pages. It was time to burn some bridges and going to Tibet might just save his sanity.

"Sandburg," Simon said concerned, seeing the distant expression in those blue eyes, "get out there!"

Sandburg walked slowly, taking in the crowd of women standing in front of the stage. There were even some men, waiting for Connor to come out. She was the only woman who'd agreed to participate.

Blair tried to smile as the bidding started. //It's for a good cause,// he reminded himself. He would have dinner, talk to the lady, maybe flirt a little and then head home to pack. Tomorrow he would book his flight and contact Professor Ramani, who'd asked him to lead the expedition.

"100 dollars!"

"150!"

"200!"

Blair blinked his eyes. Had someone really placed a bid of 200 dollars? The woman must be mad! Interested in finding the lady who was willing to pay that amount of money to have dinner with him, his eyes scanned the crowd. It was Rhonda who called out, "250!" and Blair grinned smugly. He couldn't believe he had been worried about leaving the stage humiliated; he'd always been popular with the ladies!

"300 dollars!"

Blair cocked his head and looked into sparkling brown eyes. He didn't know the girl's name, but she was with Vice. Okay, this might be good for his ego after all. 300 bucks? The girl must be rich!

It remained quiet and Simon beamed with pleasure. "300 dollars... last chance!" he called out, locking eyes with Jim, who was hiding at the back of the room. //Come on, Jim,// he prayed fervently, //you might not get another chance!//

"500," Jim stated calmly, grinning at the sight of Blair's big eyes. //You never expected that, huh?// he thought pleased. The look Blair gave him was full of disbelief and maybe even a hint of fear.

"Did I hear 500?" Simon repeated, pleased.

"Yeah, 500," Jim confirmed the bid and walked up to the stage. "I'll pay cash," he offered and put the money on the clerk's desk. His Sentinel vision registered the tiny tremors coursing through Blair's body. The anthropologist stared at him blankly.

"Jim?" Blair barely managed the name. Why the hell had Jim placed that bid? "You should save that money for Connor." He whispered the words softly so only Jim could hear him. Confused, he wondered about the broad smile on Jim's face. "I don't understand."

Simon pushed Blair gently off the stage. "Have fun at dinner!" He distinctly noticed the sigh of disappointment moving through the crowd of women.

Blair swallowed hard as Jim extended his hand to help him down the stage. "Do you have a fever, man?" he asked mystified.

"No, never felt better!" Jim stepped to the side to let Blair pass. "Here's your coat. I'm hungry."

"Oh shit, dinner!" Blair remembered he was supposed to have dinner with his 'date'. As he fell into step next to Jim, he tried to figure out what was happening. He waited until they were outside to ask, "Jim, wait," he stopped Jim. "Care to tell me what's going on?"

"Get inside, Chief." Jim arched an eyebrow and closed the door after Blair had slipped onto the passenger seat. He felt a lot more confidant since talking to Simon and he had the sneaky suspicion that the captain had been right all the way. Yes, the feeling was mutual.

"Jim?" Blair started as Jim got inside and started the car, "why did you pay 500 bucks to have dinner with me? You can have that every evening..." But he didn't add that lately one of them hadn't shown up for dinner and usually it had been Jim, calling hours later to say that he was on a stakeout.

"We need to talk Chief, and you know I suck at talking about my feelings. Can we please wait until we get to the restaurant?" He would feel more comfortable surrounded by people.

Blair fell quiet, completely mystified. They didn't talk much during the ride to the restaurant, but as they drove up to the place, it was Blair's turn to be surprised. It was a first class establishment. "Jim? I don't think the PD had this in mind when they said they were paying for dinner."

"This one is on me, Chief," Jim explained, and gestured Blair to follow him inside as he handed his key to the valet. Once inside, he addressed their host. "I have reservations. Name's Ellison."

The waiter smiled and led them to a secluded table in the back. Jim approved of the choice; he'd told them that he wanted some privacy. "We'll have some red wine." The waiter hurried away and Jim finally had the chance to concentrate on Blair, whose confusion was still growing.

"Jim? You better start explaining." Okay, he could deal with having dinner with Jim. He'd had dinner with his partner every evening for the last three years so why did it feel different now? Maybe because Jim had placed that bid, knowing what other people might think? That they were more than just friends and partners at work?

Jim waited for the wine to arrive and selected Blair's favorite dishes. The waiter wrote everything down and left them alone again.

"Blair..." Jim reached across the table and took hold of Blair's hand, ignoring the surprised expression in those baby blue eyes. "I want to apologize."

"Apologize?" Blair's brain refused to function. Had Jim ever apologized to him before? Not that he could remember.

"I didn't mean it when I said that I couldn't trust you. You're the only person I trust. I don't know what got into me, but I hurt you by saying that. I do trust you, Chief." Jim carefully monitored Blair's reaction. The younger man's jaw almost hit the floor and those big eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

"I don't know what to say, Jim... I can't blame you for no longer trusting me... but I did try to tell you about Alex after you pulled that gun on me," Blair whispered softly, mesmerized at the sight of their twined fingers. Jim had stopped touching him after Sierra Verde and he hungered for the tiniest touch.

Blair's hand felt icy cold and Jim rubbed it gently. "I'm really sorry I kicked you out of the loft. I don't know why I did that. There were times that I didn't feel in control of my actions or emotions."

"I understand," Blair assured him, remembering how territorial and paranoid Jim had been. "It's your place, not mine. You have every right to tell me to move out."

Damn, that wasn't the answer Jim had wanted to hear. Leaning in a little closer he stared into Blair's eyes. "I've been impossible to live with lately... I know that," he smothered Blair's protest. "I wanted things to go back to how they were before... before Alex, but that's impossible."

Blair nodded his head. "Things changed, Jim." But he still loved the older man. He always would, but he couldn't tell Jim that, not after Alex.

"There's something else I want to discuss," Jim whispered and took a deep breath of air. This was the most difficult conversation he'd ever had, the most important one too. There was so much at stake here! "You always tell me I repress things..."

"You do," Blair commented, but failed in killing the gentleness in his tone. Fondly, he looked at Jim, then realized what he was doing and locked away his emotions.

"I want to stop doing that. I've got to say it." Jim tightened his hold on Blair's hand. "I love you, Blair."

"I love you too, man," Blair smiled, genuinely surprised that Jim was opening up like this. It would make it harder to tell Jim that he was leaving for Tibet in a few days.

"No, I mean I am in love with you..." Jim clarified. Blair's soft yelp was only audible to Sentinel ears. "And I've got this feeling you're in love with me too." Now that he had spoken those words he had to wait for Blair to reply. Blair's clouded eyes revealed no emotions at all.

"Jim, I've been in love with you for the last three years, but..." Words failed him. Blair stared at the wine, quickly sipped from it and tried to find his courage. "You never seemed interested in me... romantically, you know?"

"Yeah, I know, but... when you drowned, I knew I had lost the most important thing in my life. That's why I brought you back. I love you. I didn't really realize it back then, but... I can't live without you. I need you. I love you." Jim laughed warmly. "Usually I never talk this much."

Tentatively, Blair rubbed Jim's knuckles with his thumb. "I'm glad you told me, Jim."

"So... how do you feel about this? Are we going to give this a chance?" These were the most important words he would ever speak. "Please, Blair."

Questioningly, Blair searched Jim's eyes. "Are you sure about this, Jim? I can't believe that you're in love with me, man." The thought to stay with Jim tempted him... to become lovers, but was this what Jim really wanted?

"I'm sure, babe," Jim said after a moment's thought. "Stay? Stay with me? I want to hold you in my arms each night when we go to sleep. I want to kiss you awake each morning. I want to comfort you when you're hurting and I want to hear that laugh, see your smile, get lost in your eyes..." Jim paused, his own eyes growing big. "Never knew I was a romantic."

"A poet," Blair corrected him, and moved his chair a little closer to Jim's. He'd forgotten about Tibet. "You don't know how much I hoped you'd fall in love with me, Jim. I was scared to tell you that I love you. The loft has been home for three years because you were there. I never had a real home before."

"And when we get home later, we're going to unpack your stuff. Let's throw away the boxes and move your stuff upstairs. We'll turn your room into a study." Relieved, Jim reached for his wine and sipped from it. "I want you to sleep in our bed from this day on, please?"

The 'please' made Blair quiver. "Hope you don't mind having an ice cube in your bed. I always have cold feet."

"I'll warm you," Jim promised and leaned in closer. "I love you, babe."

Blair rubbed his watering eyes. He didn't want to spoil the mood by crying. "I've always loved you, Jim."

As their lips touched, Jim realized how close he'd come to losing the love of his life. "Never leave me, Blair."

Blair choked up and didn't dare mention he'd considered going to Tibet. It would add to the pain they still carried inside. "I won't," he promised and answered the kiss. "I won't."

The end