Lord Mulder was sitting desolately in a carriage, being taken to the local friary where he would learn Latin with the help of a monk. His mother insisted, wanting him to learn Latin as his father had before him. His father had passed away just a year prior and the young man had been slowly trained to take over his father's estates. The young lord knew his mother wanted him to marry soon. He felt ill prepared for marriage and taking over all the lands, responsibilities and properties that his father left for him. He glanced through the window and noticed in the distance a monk working outside the friary. He couldn't tell what he was doing, but it looked strenuous.

As the carriage drew closer to his destination, the young lord noticed that the monk was chopping wood. Because of the heat, the monk had lowered the top of his habit, exposing his chest and arms; for better agility, part of the hem of the habit was lifted and tucked into the long string rope secured about his waist. Mulder stared in fascination as the strong muscular body swung the axe down. The young lord thought he had never seen a more spectacular sight. This was the first time he had ever seen so much of a man's body in the open. The rippling muscles of the young monk were stirring in him something he had never felt before and he was confused by it. Just as the carriage drew closer, the monk looked up and straight into the young lord's eyes. Mulder nearly gasped aloud. The monk's eyes were a deep green that seemed to look through him and pierce his very soul. He would have stared longer if not for the carriage rounding the corner of the friary to the front entrance, blocking him from the monk.

A servant greeted him and he asked about the monk. The servant told him the monk's name was Brother Alexander. Mulder let the servant lead him to Brother Walter, who was to teach him Latin.

"My lord, it is good to see you are well. Her ladyship has been very generous to the abbey. It is an honor to teach a Mulder Latin." The man was softly spoken and his eyes smiled warmly, even if he seemed rather gruff.

Mulder smiled at the honest, strong-featured man. Brother Walter was a big man, but he carried himself well.

After the lesson, which the Brother was most thrilled at Lord Mulder's progress, the monk observed, "You absorb knowledge quickly, my lord, a most admirable quality. Your lessons will end sooner than most of my other pupils."

Mulder had other things on his mind and asked, "May I walk the grounds of the abbey?"

"Most certainly, my lord. There are renovations being made, but there is still plenty to see. We have worked hard to make the abbey beautiful in the sight of God."

Mulder had a particular sight in mind he wanted to see. "It is quite spectacular, Brother."

"If you will excuse me, my lord. I would love to walk with you but I have duties I must perform."

Mulder inclined his head and Brother Walter left him. He walked out the back exit in the general direction of where he'd last seen the young monk in the gardens. He pondered that the young man was not tonsured as some of the senior brothers were. It would mean he was either too young or that he just hadn't taken the vows yet to fully make him a monk.

He was glad the young brother seemed to be surrounded by older men. He surely would crave more youthful company, thought Mulder. It reminded him that he hadn't been around friends his own age lately, having been too busy with all the preparations of taking over his father's estate.

Seeing the man still working hard, he found a bucket of water nearby and took a cup and filled it.

"Would you like some water?" he asked.

The monk stopped what he was doing and smiled at him. The smile shone right through the young lord who felt thoroughly devastated at its effect on him.

"Thank you, kind sir."

The monk took the cup and drank deeply, then returned it. He paused to look at the man more closely.

"I have not seen you before, sir. Forgive my ignorance."

"I am being tutored by Brother Walter."

The monk's eyes widened. "My lord, I haven't greeted you properly."

Mulder shook his head, trying to ease the anxiety in the other man's face. "You do not have to be so formal with me, Brother Alexander."

"I-thank you, Lord Mulder.you are most kind."

"Please, call me Fox, Brother Alexander."

The monk seemed to relax and smiled at him. It had been a while since the monk had been around someone his age. The way the man held himself sent a thrill through Mulder; he'd never felt this way about anyone before. Mulder's eyes trailed down the man's sweat glistened body that he longed to run a hand over, feeling the muscles. Such a thought distressed him. He wasn't certain why he was so drawn to the monk.

"Forgive my forwardness, Brother Alexander, but are you planning to take the vows?"

"Yes, my - Fox, I do plan to become a monk. Brother Walter has told me that I should be ready to take the vows soon."

"Brother Walter trains you?"

"Yes, he has been so wonderful to take the time out of his schedule to help me."

"May I ask you why you wish to become a monk?"

"I was practically raised by the brothers here. They have been the inspiration of my life- living a peaceful life doing God's work."

Fox was having difficulty believing in God lately. His father had just been taken from him and his sister had been taken the year before. Fox didn't understand why anyone would dedicate their lives to such a cruel God.

Just then the other man looked curiously at Mulder then smiled. "If you don't mind, I would like to show you this wonderful place that Brother Walter and I visit sometimes. It proves God's love of the world in its beauty."

He boldly took Fox by the hand and led him toward the back of the abbey where a wooded glade surrounded the place.

The excitement from the monk was obvious and it affected Fox deeply. It reminded him so much of the way his sister would lead him into curious places to play.

The glade was densely populated with flowering bushes and trees. It made it seem magical, especially now that it was springtime when the air was thick with fragrance and colors. He laughed softly, not being able to contain his joy.

The brother turned to smile at the light laughter and encouraged, "It's just around this bend."

When they advanced beyond the bend, there stood a small wooden structure full of ivy and flanked by two rose bushes fully in bloom.

"It is lovely, Brother Alexander. Does someone live here?"

Alex shook his head. "No. Brother Walter told me it was a cottage built long ago by a former abbot that used to stay here to gain a spiritual connection to God through the natural world. Now no one comes here except for Brother Walter or myself."

Fox could tell Alex had strong feelings for the older monk.

"May I go inside?" Fox asked, curious to see it.

"I don't think we should." said Alex anxiously.

Fox looked at him curiously. "You've been here and haven't been inside?'

Alex shook his head.

"Then let's go in together," prompted Fox, grasping the door handle. He took Alex's slightly trembling hand and pushed open the door, leading them both inside. It was dark so he opened the door wide to let the light in. He smiled encouragingly at the troubled monk and noticed the furnishings. It was sparse and contained only a small bed, a table and a washing basin. Fox wandered over to the bed and sat upon it.

The brother gasped. "You shouldn't!"

Fox lifted his hand to Alex's and soon, the other man was sitting beside him.

"Let's lie a moment, Brother Alexander."

Mulder lay down and Alex moved to lie beside him, blushing the entire time. Fox sighed and wrapped an arm around the monk who was too shocked to move.

"I remember holding my sister like this when she was scared or not well."

"You miss her terribly," said the monk, feeling better about being held so closely.

"I do. You reminded me of her when you took my hand. She would do the same when she wanted to take me to a secret hiding place."

The monk turned to him and smiled. "I'm glad it is a happy memory. I believe God has brought us together so we won't be alone in the world."

Fox studied the beautiful features of the man lying beside him and wondered at the man's revelation. "You speak the truth. As long as we have each other we will not be alone."

Fox lifted himself on one arm and looked down upon the monk. Without hesitating, he bent and pressed his lips to the monk's soft pliant mouth. At first the monk was too shocked to react then he pulled away to gasp for air and cried, "No! You mustn't!"

"It is only a kiss, Brother Alexander," murmured Fox.

The monk blushed furiously. "I-I kissed Brother Walter once when I was much younger and he told me men do not kiss other men."

"It surely isn't a sin to express affection for another, Brother."

Brother Alex was puzzled. He had been hurt when Brother Walter wouldn't allow him to kiss him. It certainly couldn't be a sin to feel such pleasure over such a simple thing. Fox saw the troubled look pass over the monk's face so he bent and kissed him once more. This time, his tongue lapped at the soft lips beneath his own. The monk moaned against his mouth and then froze. He scrambled away from the lord, jumping up from the bed, blushing furiously.

"It-it is a sin!" he cried, then ran out of the cottage.

The young lord lay in the bed for a moment, knowing he would have to convince the monk otherwise. As he walked back to the abbey, he began planning a way to make the monk his.

***

The very next week, Lord Mulder took over his father's estates. He was now Lord of Mulder Manor. He found out that with the large estate came responsibility to a large number of serfs living on his land. His father hadn't been cruel to the serfs, but he hadn't been generous either. Lord Mulder decided he would change things a bit. He talked to the servant in charge of the serfs and learned the man was a most competent farmer. He asked about the state of the land and that which the serfs lived on. The man said that some of the land was wasted, without farming or husbandry.

"Do you know how to read, Bill?"

The farmer looked at him curiously. "A bit, my lord."

"Then I would like you to set up a school. I want the most educated to run the school and teach anyone who can't read. Those that are taught to read will be given bonuses of animals and better lodgings, Bill."

The lord ensured the farmers who tilled the land were better fed and clothed, to help against corruption that he had read occurred on occasion when his father was the lord of the manor. With the many changes he was implementing, he had no time for the servants who offered their bodies to him. He realized the servants must have learned he had tumbled one of them when he was younger. Then he wondered if maybe his father had used them as well. He sighed in regret. He hoped his refusals would come as a lesson that he didn't wish to be with them. He did compensate those who tried to be with him, though, by giving them projects to keep them busy and away from him. His mind was too focused on the state of his affairs and he knew that he couldn't possibly be with a servant since his amorous affections were taken up with only one person-the beautiful monk.

His mother came to him in his father's study-now his-and wondered if he would attend social functions in town.

"Why, mother?"

"So you can find a respectable lady to court, Fox."

"No mother, I shall not be seeking a woman's hand in marriage.not anytime soon."

His mother was surprised at his tone. "Very well, my lord, but may I attend, then?"

Fox sighed, realizing he had reacted too strongly to his mother. "Of course, mother.and you do not have to call me 'my lord.' I am your son."

His mother smiled, then kissed his cheek then left. She would just have to seek a suitable lady for her shy son herself.

Fox knew he would need to marry eventually, to get an heir to his estate, but he was not about to think on such a thing now. He had far more important, in his mind, tasks to accomplish first. 

At night his mind would stray to the monk, and he knew he would never want another. He recalled his first experience with a chambermaid who was a few years older than he. She had insisted he take her from behind, saying this way he would not impregnate her. He knew that this was not the way of a wife and her husband, but he was too young to let that bother him. The moment the woman had sat upon him completely, he knew he would never regret what they were doing. He never confessed his tumbling the chambermaid to a priest, feeling it was far too personal and, if God was all seeing, He would certainly know of it. He didn't feel guilt over it so he refused to feel it warranted confession.

He spoke aloud to the walls of his bedchamber, "I will do my duty, God, but I will not stop pursuing what I want."

He knew if he finally had the monk as he would like, the church and the bible were strict on what they termed an abomination. He refused to let that bother him. God had let him down before when he had prayed for his sister and his father to no avail. He cared little that others tried to comfort him by saying that God had wished them to be with him and the dead would not suffer on Earth any longer. Such words were not comforting to him. He knew that it was only reassuring to the dead that they were cared for after life, but it did not remove the suffering of those left behind.

***

Walter was worried about Alex; he was rather nervous around him lately.

"May I ask you a question, Brother Alexander? You have been most perturbed lately."

Brother Alex bit his lip. "Someone told me that k-kissing was not a sin." He blushed furiously.

"No, the act of kissing is not a sin.only that it leads to sinful thoughts and then to sinful deeds, Brother Alexander."

Alex nodded, but couldn't stop thinking about kissing his friend softly on the lips when he was twelve.

"May I kiss you, Brother Walter?" he asked softly.

The older man froze for a moment then looked into the pleading eyes of his young friend. "I do not think that would be wise, Brother."

"Do we always have to do the wise thing, Brother?" asked Alex, a little more assertive.

Walter sighed. "We have always been in the danger of sinning greatly. It would not be a good thing to sin in God's house."

Alex eyes sparkled. "Then please, come with me to the cottage."

Walter shook his head. "I should have never have taken you there, Brother Alexander. Your imagination was always strong. You have taken our friendship and changed its purpose."

"Please come with me to the cottage, Brother Walter."

Walter sighed. "Very well, but first there are chores to do."

Walter didn't understand why Alex, who hadn't spoken of that kissing incident in years, suddenly now spoke of it again. He felt that he would show the young foolish monk that thinking on such sinful thoughts as kissing in secret in their hiding place was not what God had put them in his house for.

Alex was so happy Brother Walter had said he would come to the cottage with him that his chores seemed to finish quickly. He sought out his friend and asked him if he was finished. Brother Walter nodded and allowed the younger man to take his hand and lead him into the woods as he had himself taken the boy when he was twelve.

"It never changes," said Alex as he looked at the cottage.

Walter nodded. "It is a lovely place to visit and a wonderful place to meditate on one's life, Brother. That is why the abbot had it made those many years ago."

"Let's go inside, Brother." Before Walter could protest the younger man pulled him along to the door and opened it.

Walter startled a moment. "You have been in here recently?"

Alex nodded but continued to lead the older man to the bed where he sat down upon it. Walter, feeling he had little choice, sat beside the young man.

"What has made you come inside, Brother Alexander? I have never been."

"Lord Mulder suggested it, Brother Walter."

"You brought Lord Mulder here?"

"Yes, he was most wonderful, Brother Walter. He told me that kissing wasn't a sin."

Walter asked, "Lord Mulder didn't kiss you, did he?"

The younger man couldn't lie to his friend and nodded.

Walter sighed. "No wonder you have such fancy notions in your head, dear boy. You must be strong. I think going to the Friary in Middlechurch would do you some good."

The young monk gasped, not believing what he was hearing. "Why should I go there?"

"I think you need to contemplate your actions of late, Brother Alexander. The lives of lords and royalty are not governed by God's law as closely as our lives are. I think you need to stay away from Lord Mulder. He would tempt you in such a way, I do believe, that it wouldn't be safe for you to stay."

The young man shook his head. "I don't wish to leave the abbey, Brother Walter."

"I think I will ask Father William."

"Please, Brother Walter." Alex grabbed Walter's hand and pleaded with him.

The look on the older man's face was daunting, but Alex had grown accustomed to it over the years-more than accustomed to it. He grasped the older man by his neck and pressed his face down to his. When his lips touched the older man's, he held the man down, knowing he would try to escape. Brother Walter was stunned at first, but then tried to pull away. He couldn't, the younger man held him firmly. With a soft growl and half moan the younger man's mouth covered up, Walter pushed Alex down to the bed and thrust his tongue into the soft but unwavering mouth. When Walter felt the young body beneath his writhing upward, he pulled away violently and jumped away from the bed. He stopped abruptly, trying to regain his breath and equilibrium.

"You must leave immediately, Brother Alexander. I will go to Father William.now." The older man left the cottage and Alex started to cry, realizing he may never see Brother Walter or Lord Mulder again.