Title: The Breakfast or A Nose Knows
Author: Bertie
Pairing: M/Sk/K
Date: 7/22/01
Series: The Kitchen Series
E-Mail: bermille@earthlink.net
Rating: PG-13
Category: PWP
Archive: Sure
Warnings: Silliness abounds
Disclaimer: Not mine sadly
Notes: In honor of the talk of noses on the slashingmulder list and Andrea's lovely limerick and her upcoming birthday:)
 
Mulder snorted awake and felt trapped under a great weight. He struggled, suddenly wondering why he woke up like this more often than not lately. The reason groaned in protest and mumbled something before slowly rolling off of the slightly squashed agent.

Mulder sat up and stared down at the lump of man lying crumpled beside him. Why Alex had this desire to sleep atop him lately, he couldn't figure. Some need to have a body pillow perhaps? Did his mother let him sleep with her like that when he was a baby? Mulder shuddered at the thought, not wanting to be a mother substitute, even if his lover was younger and adorable. Then he snorted, well that would make Skinner his father.Maybe that wouldn't be too bad, he thought, liking the scenario of playing mommy to Skinner as daddy.

He rose from the bed, trying not to disturb the lump and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and gargle. He peed, and then washed his hands. When he returned to the bedroom, Alex had not moved. He scratched his belly, suddenly wondered why there was not a sticky mess there like normal and then remembered what had happened last night. Walter had been the bottom for a change. He pondered for a moment then realized that he had not heard the big man leave, in fact he wondered where he was at the moment.

He looked over at the still lump and smiled, a devilish look came over his face and he reached over and thumped the elfin ear.

"OW!" cried the younger man, waking up reluctantly with a scowl. "What the fuck was that all about??"

"Hey remembered the last time Walter was the bottom?"

"Huh?" asked the man sleepily, his eyes still droopy.

Mulder had a sudden desire to leap on the man and take instant advantage of his sexy pout. After a second of hesitation he gave in and leapt.

The futile little girly squeal only inflamed his desire and he began to kiss and pinch his sleepy lover all over.

Finally awake, the younger man took charge, flipping the lanky man over onto his back and effectively pinning him to the mattress. He bent and licked the agent's nose and then nibbled the end. He pulled back to look at the wonderful flushed face, and murmured, "You were saying?"

Mulder grinned, looking up at Alex through his lashes. "Walter gets very motherly and cooks one of those large family breakfasts?"

A gleam came into Alex's green eyes and he grinned back. "Oh yeah, with slapjacks and bacon, eggs, grits, and ham?"

"Come on, lets go see." the man beneath him replied.

The younger man jumped off him and the bed in a single bound and Mulder followed him. They were about to run when Alex held them back, deciding instead to go slowly, hoping to savor the experience of coming upon the feast awaiting them.

They entered the kitchen and saw their burly man standing obtusely behind a wall of newspaper, reading while sipping some coffee. There was nary a particle of breakfast anywhere to be seen.

They stared in shock, not believing what they were seeing.

"W-Walter." Mulder began, trying hard not to sound like a little hurt boy after learning there really wasn't a fat man called Santa living in bliss up at the North Pole.

He pulled the paper down a bit and quirked a brow at his two nude lovers.

"Yes, Fox?"

"Um, why-"

"Why didn't you cook us breakfast like you usually do?" Alex interrupted, genuinely miffed.

"My therapist told me I shouldn't be predictable," came the indifferent reply.

"What?" the boys chorused.

"You don't have a therapist, Walter!" growled Alex, impatient.

"I did."

"When was that?"

"Oh, um <mumble mumble>"

"What was that?"

"When I was married to Sharon," he glared at them, defying them to say a word.

"Any you are just know implementing it all of the sudden?" grumbled Alex, highly ticked.

"Wait a minute." Mulder cried, turning to look at the drain and noticing a pan sitting suspiciously there. "What is this doing here?"

"Seems to be sitting there quietly, Mulder. Did you expect it to do a jig?"

"I don't believe you for one minute!" he turned and looked around, and then finally opened the oven door. "What is this then, mister?!"

Walter looked down at the evidence sitting in the oven remaining warm awaiting his lovers' appearance.

"Well, you should have followed your nose, Fox. It always knows."

Both nude men tackled their lover and tickled him into submission before grabbing the food and wolfing it down.