This one is just for fun, people. No aliens, no big battles, no angst - just some friends kicking back, having a good time, and getting to know another side of each other. Not a lot of sex either, to the point where I think this might actually only be rated R, though I stuck with NC17 because manly bits of flesh do appear. Hopefully there *is* a smile or two along the way, or maybe laugh. With my oddball sense of humor, I won't be surprise if no one *does* but it could be enjoyable, at least.

And yes, the person who had never written a threesome until this fandom *still* can't find a pairing she can live with. What can I say? <shrugs> These guys make it fun.

Not beta'd for those who find that important, though I did the best I could. If any major errors or discrepancies are found, I'd really appreciate having them pointed out to me! Thanks

ROAD TRIP

"You want what?" General Hammond didn't sound angry at the request, or even particularly surprised. As the commander of SGC, he'd heard enough outrageous ideas, especially from O'Neill and his people, that there was probably very little that *could* get a rise out of him any longer.

Despite that, Jack kept his voice respectful - well, for him - and repeated, "I'd like you to order SG1 to take a week's leave, sir."

"Colonel, do you have any idea how many critical missions we have scheduled over the next month, let alone the next week? Not to mention that things have a way of coming up that takes every man I've got to handle properly, and you want me to order my best team off duty? For a week?" Hammond was using his, 'I'm being very reasonable here,' voice, a warning to start explaining, and doing it well, very quickly.

"That's just it, sir." Unable to say seated any longer, Jack got up and started pacing in front of the desk, absent-mindedly picking up a paperweight from it. "SG1 *isn't* your best team any more. In fact, I'd go so far as to say they're not really a team at all, right now. Just a bunch of people who happen to work together."

"Colonel...." Hammond started.

"I'm not exaggerating." Jack tossed the paperweight from hand to hand, eyes on it but not really seeing it. "Carter is in the infirmary right now, being treated for a bump on the head that shouldn't have happened at all. Teal'c saw it coming, Daniel saw it coming, but before either of them could warn or get to her, the damn thing hanging in that tree dropped on her. It was just an old nest of some sort, but what if it had been something deadlier? It was rookie of her not to be paying attention to her surroundings, especially to her teammates."

"Everyone makes mistakes, Colonel, and Major Carter is entitled to her share as well."

Turning to face his commanding officer, Jack shot back, "Look, I'm not blaming her or anything. Just using that as an example. It's been a rough year for us, General. Me on Eudora for so long, Teal'c's role in Sha'are's death, then that whole business with the rogue SG crew.... "

Sitting back in his chair, Hammond nodded an agreement. Though SG1 had tried to accept that there had been no choice but to leave them in the dark about O'Neill's role in the Asgardian's sting, it had been obvious to those that knew them that it hadn't set well. "And if memory serves me," he said thoughtfully, "None of you have had official leave in, well, longer than regulations allows, usually." Coming to a quick decision, he finished. "Very well, Colonel O'Neill. Leave granted. You can go give the good news to your team."

"Aaahhh," Jack mumbled, "Actually, there's a bit of a problem with that." At Hammond's stern look, he admitted, "Nobody *wants* leave right now. That was why I specifically asked you to make it an order." Finally putting down the paperweight he'd been fidgeting with, he leaned on the desk, speaking earnestly. "Thing is, if we just take leave, then more than likely Teal'c will go visit his family, Sam will take off for some science conference somewhere, and Daniel will bury himself in research. We need some time as a unit, some place where we don't have to worry about Ga'ould or alien bugs or anything else that could sneak up and kill us. "

"I take it you have a plan?"

Standing straight again, grin coming before he could stop it, Jack answered, "You could say that."

***

Deliberately waiting until the rest of SG1 had had time to arrive at the rendezvous, Jack hefted his duffel bag, and strolled through the early fall sunshine as if the only thing he had on his mind was a morning stroll. Coming up behind the others, he overheard Daniel grumble, "I'm *not* in the military, I'm a civilian employee. *My* orders have to make sense. Period."

Reading the sheet of paper in her hand, Carter said with confusion evident in her voice, "I have to admit, I've never seen anything like this." She read aloud, "Arrive at Main Gate at 0800, dressed in civilian clothing, carrying one suitcase with adequate clothing for one week in local climate and as much of your personal funds as you can comfortably afford to be without at this time. You will await transportation, then depart with Colonel O'Neill, to return to base at his discretion."

"General Hammond is a wise man," Teal'c intoned calmly. "I am sure that he has a specific purpose for these unusual commands."

"Right as usual, Teal'c," Jack said, drawing their attention to his presence. "And as soon as I have it figured out, I'll let you know." He put down his back and held out his hand, "In the meantime, cough up the cash, people. We need to see how big the kitty is."

Ignoring the upraised eyebrow from the tallest member of the team, Jack wiggled his fingers and waited patiently until Sam and Daniel placed their cash in his palm. "No holding back," he said when they were done. "Come on. I know both of you well enough to guess you've got an emergency stash." Frowning, Sam took another twenty from a different pocket and smacked into his hand. It took Daniel longer, and he glared suspiciously at the rest of the money while he dug out his wallet and took a fifty from the hidden seam pocket in it.

Nodding, Jack asked, "Teal'c?"

"I do not have any of the currency that your people use for exchange, O'Neill. However..." He lifted up a second pack. "I did procure supplies for us from the commissary."

Clapping him on the shoulder, Jack beamed, "Munchies! Teal'c I like the way you think. Okay, who wants to be the bookkeeper for this little venture?"

He waited expectantly for a minute, and was about to pick a 'volunteer' when Daniel spoke up. "If that's all the cash we're going to have for this mission, I'll handle it. I'm used to living on a tight budget. Where's *your* contribution, Jack?"

Dumping it all into the hands that Daniel hastily brought up, he said, "Hang on," then dug into his pants pocket and pulled out a wad of crumpled bills. "Let me know what the total is when you've had a chance to count it."

"Yeah, sure."

Having a hard time keeping his expression under control at the sight of his mystified friends, Jack swung away on the pretext of looking for their transport. As luck would have it, a white '59 classic Cadillac convertible drew up to the first guard shack, the driver waving to O'Neill in recognition. "Ah, our ride's here."

"That!" Sam blurted.

"You got something against riding with the wind in your hair, Carter?" Jack asked mildly, picking up his duffel and walking toward the car.

"No, sir, but, well, if this is a cov-op, it's a little conspicuous." She followed more slowly, leading Daniel and Teal'c, who were exchanging a glance that made it even harder for Jack to hide his grin. It was so *good* to see those two do that again.

"Who said anything about covert operations?" he asked. "Okay, I'm driving first leg. Who's got shotgun?"

"Shotgun?" Teal'c asked. "We are unarmed, O'Neill, as per orders."

His grin slipped free at that, growing almost large enough to split his head when Daniel jumped in with an explanation of the expression. That and an attempt to clarify the concepts of 'stagecoach' and 'bandits' kept everyone occupied until the luggage was loaded into the trunk, and they were in the car, Teal'c in front with Jack. They pulled away from the mountain with quiet prevailing, until Jack halted at the first stop sign on the way down.

Then Sam leaned forward in her seat and asked, "Teal'c, I might be putting my foot in it here, but.... Are we paying you?"

"I do not receive funds from your government, Major Carter," he answered placidly.

Looking away from the road, Jack blurted, "What!?"

"My needs are adequately provided for: I have quarters within the SGC, rations are supplied to me as necessary, as are clothing and weapons. I have not required anything more." Teal'c didn't look at his friends, though Jack couldn't tell if it was because the topic was that unimportant to him or if he was trying to make it seem that way.

"What about your family?" Carter pressed gently.

"General Hammond has been most generous in that regard," Teal'c twisted to be able to see into the back seat, giving her one of his partial smiles. "He has instructed the Quartermaster allow me to choose what I wish from supplies. The tools and medicines I take to Dray'ac is traded for whatever she wishes." Giving Daniel a slightly wider smile, he went on, "In addition, DanielJackson often sends her small gifts that I believe she also finds most useful in trade. Finely turned metals such as needed for sewing needles and pins is quite scarce, and her constant supply of them has given her a certain...popularity among the other wives of the settlement."

"Way to go, Daniel," Jack muttered, but softly so that his friend couldn't hear. In the rearview he could see the linguist duck his head, suddenly very intent on the money he was counting.

"Oh," Sam said, settling back into her seat. "I'm glad to hear that, but you should still be on the payroll. As a special civilian consultant, if nothing else. It isn't right that our people don't do their best for you; there's a good chance we wouldn't *be* here without your help. A little money isn't too much to ask."

Before Teal'c could make a comment on that, Daniel spoke up, "Speaking of which, want to hear what kind of shape we're in?"

"Yeah, better," Jack said, going along with his bid for a change of subject. He was willing to trust that Daniel had a reason for it.

"We have a grand total of $476 for food, gas, and lodging for the next five days," he announced. "That's for four people and a car that probably gets twenty-one gallons to the mile."

"But it’s such a *fine* vehicle," Jack defended quickly. "Are you telling me you don't have appreciation for this classic at all?" Reminded of what he was supposed to be doing, he made a turn for no other reason than because it looked like a good idea, and went on. "Smooth, comfortable ride, nice upholstery, *great* sound system - I'll put some tunes in later - powerful v-eight engine. All that plus the feeling of freedom that only taking a drive in a ragtop on a warm day can give you."

"All of which isn't going to make my stomach any less emptier when we run out of cash a few fill ups from now," Daniel argued.

"Not to mention," Sam jumped in, raising her voice a little to talk over the rush of wind, "We're probably going to end up sleeping in it. That much cash won't go far if we're paying for hotel rooms every night."

"Sleeping bags, camp stove, some other camping gear in the trunk," Jack called back. "Motel for bad weather or emergency."

"Is it not dangerous to camp without weapons for defense, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked.

"Not many dangerous animals left in this part of the world," he answered. "And the survivors pretty much leave humans alone. Don't think people will bother us much; too many of us for the kind of thieves that hit and run the homeless."

Leaning forward so that he wouldn't have to yell, Daniel added, "Trust me, Teal'c. It's more likely we'd need the weapons against the cockroaches that inhabit the sort of places we can afford to stay right now."

"Then we shall have to improvise our defense," the Jaffa said so flatly that no one could tell if he was serious or not. Which was so typical of him that they all had to smile anyway, helping each of them settle in for the trip in their own way.

Looking back through the rearview at the pair, Jack nodded to himself. Immediately behind him, Daniel had his head on the back of the seat, face turned up to the sunshine, looking for all the world as if all he had on his mind was catching some rays, his sunglasses adding to the impression. Sam had her chin in her palm, tapping at the frame of hers lightly, and for a minute Jack couldn't help but wonder what a mind like hers occupied itself with during down time. Only Teal'c seemed to take an active interest in the countryside around them. He watched from behind dark lenses as it streamed past, both contemplatively and alertly, as if enjoying the view, but expecting a Death Glider to appear out of nowhere as well, occasionally adjusting the bandana over his head as the wind tugged at it.

Adjusting his own shades, Jack kicked back mentally and just watched the road, remembering how much he liked simply driving. The relative peace lasted until nearly lunchtime, when the increased fidgeting from the back seat attracted his attention. Teal'c, of course, was patiently waiting for O'Neill to explain himself, and probably wouldn't ask if Jack never got around to it. Thinking that it had taken Sam and Daniel longer than he expected, he spotted a sign for a scenic overlook a short distance ahead, and, on impulse pulled over.

Parking with the front of the Caddy nearly on the stone wall separating tourists from a huge step down, Jack got out saying brightly, "Time to see what goodies Teal'c brought." Despite his words, he took a moment to admire the view; it was well worth it. Neither 'vista' nor 'scenic' really seemed to cover the peek into eternity the small ledge gave. The fall air was clear enough that Jack wouldn't have been surprised to see the ocean - the Atlantic - and it smelled clean and sharp enough to cut.

He wasn't the only attracted to the sight. Both Sam and Teal'c went up to the very edge of the wall, as if that would give them a better view. Even Daniel seemed to enjoy it, though he stayed back, leaning on the passenger door.

Finally Sam spoke up. "Sir? Are you going to brief us now?"

"No, I'm not," he admitted frankly, taking out the keys to unlock the trunk. There was a moment of dead silence while he popped the lid and began digging through Teal'c's knapsack.

"Sir?" she questioned, probably speaking for all of them at that point.

Reluctantly coming out of hiding, but not before wincing at the contents of the pack, Jack said, "Our only orders are to stay on the road for five days, relax, and have fun, Carter."

"Have fun, sir?"

"Yeah, you remember. That thing you used to do sometimes before you ever found out what a Ga'ould was. It involves laughing, smiling, and *not* fighting or running for your life."

"Fun, sir?" Sam repeated, as if she couldn't believe her ears.

Grateful his sunglasses hid his eyeballs rolling up into his head, Jack shot back, "Sam, please tell me you did do something before you joined SG1 *besides* scientific stuff."

"I happen to find 'scientific stuff' interesting and relaxing," she answered defensively.

She took in a deep breath, probably to go on the attack, when Teal'c put in. "I also find these instructions most unusual. Do you know General Hammond's intent?"

Unexpectedly Daniel spoke up. "I think he's trying to prevent burnout, Teal'c." Anticipating the Jaffa's next question, he hastily added, "You've trained men for combat before. Didn't you ever give them a rest period of a few days or so to give their bodies and minds a chance to absorb their lessons?"

"Meditation serves that purpose," Teal'c answered.

"Well, this is a unique kind of Earth meditation," Jack butted in.

"It's just that it isn't necessary." Sam did some butting in of her own.

Gently touching the bandage on her left temple, Jack said, "Isn't it?" That left all of them speechless for a second, with even Teal'c showing some misplaced guilt. "I'm *not* blaming anyone," he repeated what he had told Hammond earlier, this time pitching it in a tone that damned near made it an order. "I *am* saying that we're zigging when we should be zagging, people. And this isn't the first time lately and you know it."

The three of them exchanged several long longs, then Daniel took a deep breath, and let it out in a puff, as if the clear something away from his face. "You know," he said thoughtfully, "I've never seen the Grand Canyon."

"Well," Sam said, obviously going along with him. "Neither have I."

"It goes without saying Teal'c hasn't," Daniel said thoughtfully.

"Indeed, not, DanielJackson. Though I have heard mention of it. Is it near this location?"

"Near enough," Jack decided for all of them, grin waking up again. "Grand Canyon it is." He dug back into the bag in his hand, "One thing, Teal'c. Next time you get munchies, do you think you can do better than Spam and Meals Ready to Eat?"

*****

Only the military would consider one of their freeze dried, custom preserved 'Meals Ready to Eat' food. And based on the simple definition of 'substance placed in mouth and digested by stomach,' they are. But based on taste and willingness for the average human to actually *put* them in the mouth, they are more on a level of ancient shoe leather.

For that reason, it was an almost unanimous decision (Teal'c, you'll eat anything that doesn't take a chomp out of you first. And only that because it slowed you down enough to get away) to cut into their precious funds for a hot dinner. At Daniel's advice, they pulled into a dinner surrounded by older cars and battered trucks parked on a gravel and dirt lot. The dinner itself looked as if it had seen better days, but that didn't mean it was going to let itself go. It was clean on the outside, and the huge picture window facing the main road was bright and sparkling, with vividly colored flowers growing underneath it.

"Why here?" Sam asked, getting out and stretching. By unspoken agreement, they had rotated positions in the car so that Jack was shotgun, Teal'c behind him, with Daniel driving, so she had had the entire day so far stuck in the back.

"People with older cars, especially well-tended older cars, are usually senior citizens on a fixed incomes. So the food here is probably cheap. There's lots of them...."

"So it's probably good," she filled in.

"And the battered trucks - working men - show that the portions are probably plentiful," Jack finished. "Good thinking, Danny boy."

They filed in, sniffing happily. If the aroma was any indication, this place might have been worth the drive by itself.

Or it could have been that *anything* would have smelled good after the MREs.

A chalkboard had the daily specials listed on it, and Daniel nodded at it as if finding something that pleased him, and that he expected. Jack had to agree with him on that; the chicken-fried steak sounded delicious, especially if the gravy was homemade. Making a mental note to ask the waitress, he led the way to a booth more or less in the middle of the diner, across from the big window, and scooted in, Sam beside him and Daniel opposite.

A few minutes later an older woman in an unbelievably pink uniform sauntered up, wearing a wide grin and looking at the four of them a little sideways. "You're a good ways from the base, guys," she said in a surprisingly strong New England accent. "Decide to take the long road to eat up the rest of your leave?"

With the most charming smile that any of them had ever seen him produce, Daniel said softly, "Something like that. Though from the sounds of it you're a good ways farther from home than we are. New Hampshire?"

"Close, Vermont. You know how it is when you marry a military man," she answered off-handedly, but looking very pleased. "You can wind up anywhere."

"Ah, taken," Daniel said with just enough disappointment to make it believable that he was flirting.

"Not any more," she said cheerfully. "Just decided one snowy, wintry place is as good as 'nother and stayed put when he transferred on."

Daniel leaned forward, smile going up another watt or two, "On behalf of all single men in the area, thank you."

She laughed, reached over and pinched his cheek, making him blush. "Aren't you the sweetie. What can I get for you and your friends here?"

"A few more minutes to look at the menu, and strong, black coffee all the way around?"

Pinching him again, she said, "Done," and strolled away, chuckling happily to herself.

To the surprised looks aimed at him from around the table, Daniel half-shrugged with his hands. "This is a lousy way to make a living, and being nice to a waitress can pay off in the long run. Trust me."

"Daniel," Jack said reflectively, "Why do I think there's a long, long story behind how you know all this?"

"Let's just say that calling someone a 'starving grad student' is being redundant. Unless you're born rich, you're starving if you're a grad student," he said blandly. Before they could question him more, he leaned in to say confidentially. "Order the all-you-can-eat fried chicken, and we'll smuggle enough out for lunch tomorrow, too. If they catch us, the worse they'll do is make us pay for an extra person. And as big as Teal'c is, nobody will question how much is actually eaten here as long as the bone piles look realistic, so we might get away with it. Oh, and if biscuits come with the meal, smuggle those out, too. Breakfast."

"Smuggle? How?" Jack asked skeptically, though inwardly delighted with this insight into a part of his friend that he had never suspected.

"I've fixed my jacket pocket with a plastic bag; you just nudge some onto my plate, and I'll take care of the rest," he answered reassuringly, then sat back into the corner to make room for Teal'c's greater bulk.

The chicken did come with biscuits, and it was every bit a delicious as they'd hoped. It only took one trip back for refills before the waitress happily volunteered to simply bring one big plate of chicken out for them to share from, which made dropping a piece here and there into Daniel's stash that much easier. At first they gave their full attention to their meal, but as they filled, they began chatting easily about everything and nothing, hardly bothering to look around them as they did.

But they were soldiers, after all, used to being aware of their surroundings even when strictly not necessary. By the time the glowering looks directed their way from a party of five men clustered at the far end of the diner turned into action, they knew there was a potential problem, and softly discussed leaving as quickly as possible to avoid trouble. Occasionally, however, trouble can't be avoided, and before they could get their waitress' attention for the bill, the biggest of the bunch sauntered over to them, proceeded by the stench of alcohol.

"Well, hello there, little lady," he drawled in what he probably thought was a charming cowboy accent.

Smile gone, her eyes intent on O'Neill, Carter didn't say anything, but finished up her last bite of mashed potatoes and began wiping her fingers.

Obviously not expecting his first move to produce much in the way of results, the idiot hunkered down next to Sam, and repeated, "Hello, little lady. I haven't seen you around here before; I know I wouldn't have missed somebody as pretty as you."

Chin hard now, she kept ignoring him, going so far as to pretend to be looking for something in her purse.

Then the ersatz cowboy made his first mistake; he put a hand on her arm. She turned her head slowly, pulling away all the while, and said flatly, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that a lady doesn't talk to strangers?"

Smirking since he had at last had gotten a rise from her, and apparently put at ease by the fact the men at her table hadn't so much as blinked when he got too friendly, the drunk leaned in close. Exhaling a wave of fumes over them that had Daniel silently gagging and Teal'c tensing for the first time, he said, "Well, then, maybe I should introduce myself. I'm Roger."

"That doesn't count," Sam countered, unexpectedly sounding prim. "After all, you could *say* you're anybody at all. A lady would expect to have a mutual acquaintance do the introductions. And since there's no one in this place that knows me, you can assume that we are going to remain strangers." She pointedly scooted away from the man, dimming his broad smile a fraction.

His buddies had come up behind him and were snickering derisively, and his next words were sharper. "Maybe I was just being polite in calling you a 'lady.' Maybe I thought you might appreciate the company of a real gentleman, whether you were one or not."

"I've met gentlemen," Carter said coldly. "You don't fit the description."

More snickers, and his smile became strained. "Well you sure as hell aren't no lady."

"How would *you* know?" By now Carter's eyes were dangerously bright, and for a moment Jack thought about stepping in, regardless of how the major would take the interference.

"Well now." The man was back to his affected drawl. "I figure a real lady wouldn't be keeping the kind of company you're keeping."

Out of the corner of his eye, Jack saw Daniel make a gesture toward the waitress and begin to discretely count out the money for the meal. Most of his attention, however, he put on the increasingly ugly mood of the small crowd that had gathered around them, and he tensed without ever giving up his slouched posture or idle nibbling at a drumstick.

"And what," Sam said tightly, temper obviously lit, "Is wrong with the company I'm keeping?"

"Well, nothing, I suppose. If you like old men, and screaming fairies."

An odd little smile played around the corners of her mouth, and before Jack could do more than raise a finger in half-hearted protest at the 'old' comment, she said dryly, "I see you get most of your exercise jumping to conclusions. But, yes, I *do* like the company I'm keeping. In case you're wondering how I can be sure they are gentlemen, you can see for yourself they don't open their mouths unless they're sure of their facts. And they have *balls* enough *not* to be bothered by a woman who knows her own mind."

"Well, I don't know how much jumping is involved here," he snapped. "It's plain as the nose on your face that balls is primarily what your so-called gentlemen lack."

"Then you're obviously as blind as you are stupid."

She turned slightly in her seat, as if to see how well the comment hit the mark, and the man's face went even redder than the booze in him had already made it. "Which one you hot for, sweetie?" he sneered. "The four-eyed nerd or the big, strapping n...."

Though there was no doubt what his last word was going to be, he never had a chance to finish it. Sam grabbed his ears at the first consonant, and jammed her knee first into his crotch, then into his nose as he hunched over in pain from his abused genitals. She was on her feet on the seat with a fast hop before he finished his half-gulped bellow, swinging at the man behind him even as he started to punch at her.

His blow never made it, not that it mattered, since the other three were already crowding forward, pushing aside the few people sensible enough to be trying to get out of the way of the brawl. Teal'c caught a fist in one of his own massive ones, and squeezed, eliciting a howl that seemed to inspire half the room to shout or scream.

Details became confused about then, Jack decided later. He clearly remembered shoving Sam's first victim down to the floor to get to the idiot trying to hit her with a serving tray scooped off a nearby table. He wasn't fast enough for that, but a "Carter!" made her duck as he dodged, and the tray went through the plate glass window behind them. Also he was fairly sure he saw Daniel at that point, squatting behind the cashier counter with the waitress, handing her money. Positive that the linguist had a plan, Jack concentrated on keeping the battle in their corner of the diner, both to let Daniel work his magic and to keep it from getting too close to the elderly people in the back who were placidly eating and watching the entertainment.

He was never quite sure when he got the black eye.

In the spirit of spontaneous combustion, most of the able-bodied men and not a few of the women joined in the fray, making it hard to know who was fighting with who over exactly what. Watching Teal'c knock down two with efficient thumps, he ducked as Carter tossed some bozo over her shoulder, and about that time two loud, distinctive hoots of a car horn were heard over the general chaos.

Shouting, "Incoming," he turned away from the remnants of the window as the tail of the Caddy came through. With a boost from Teal'c, Sam leaped onto the trunk, sweeping away broken glass with her bag as she did. Scrambling into the back seat, she held out her hands and caught Jack as he flung himself onto the car. A moment later he was beside her, and the both of them grabbed onto Teal'c's clothes to pull him in as Daniel hit the accelerator, peeling them out of the parking lot.

As the made the swerve onto the road, Jack hooted with laughter. Almost every truck in the lot was sitting on a flat; there wouldn't be any pursuit for a while at least. Despite that, they headed straight for the state border at a good clip, being careful not to go too fast. Explaining to a trooper who pulled them over for speeding why they were all cut and bruised could be tricky. Not to mention it was possible that someone had made the car as being part of the disturbance at the diner, and the police might be looking for it.

Jack tended to the various injuries as best he could, but eventually decided that he needed bright light and hot running water to do it right. Reluctantly he ordered Daniel to pull over at the first motel they saw that looked like the owners might not be too nosy about other people's business. Parking away from the road, again just to be on the safe side, they unloaded the Caddy and went in to clean up.

A few hours later, food stored on ice from the machine, they were all bedded down, and Jack was staring into the semi-dark of the room, trying to ignore the sting from his scraped knuckles and the cold pack on his black eye. He was the worst of the lot. Sam had two more bandages to go along with the one from their last mission: one on her jaw back near her right ear, the other on her hand. Daniel had deep gouges on the fingertips of both hands from the toothpicks he had jammed into the stems of tires to let the air out. Only Teal'c had escaped unscathed, but it was possible if the damage had been minor, his symbiote had healed him before Jack had checked him out.

Not bad, all things considered, he thought to himself, smiling. Which hurt his face, and he stifled a groan.

"Sir?" Carter voice drifted through the gloom from the other bed. "If you want to put me up on charges for starting a fight, I understand. And, of course, the damages.…"

"Don't worry about it, Sam," Jack said easily. "If you hadn't, I would have. I'll 'fess up to Hammond, and see what we have to do to make it good with the locals."

She was quiet for a moment, then said softly, "Thank you. And sir..." She hesitated, then added, "Thank you for letting me handle it."

"You're welcome," he said easily. "One thing - Sam, we're off duty. Do you think you could call me 'Jack?' Or even O'Neill? Not 'sir?' I keep wanting to salute or something."

"Yes, of course, sir."

"Carter!"

"Sorry, sir!"

With a theatrical moan, Jack rolled over, grinning widely.

He'd just started to nod off when Daniel spoke up from beside him, his voice barely audible over the rumble of traffic a few thin walls away. "While we're on the topic of the diner...."

"In case you hadn't noticed," Jack said sleepily, "that was a while ago. And we gave it up in favor of catching some z's."

Ignoring the comment, Daniel finished, "You should probably know that those rednecks weren't too far wrong about me. Not that I like 'fairy' or 'faggot', or any other label at all for that fact, I mean, using them is just an excuse not to think, really. But if the issue should come up again.... I don't think that another brawl on my behalf would be a good idea.... And I don't think people should insult total strangers based on their prejudices or anything, but..."

"Daniel," Jack broke in, glad the dark hid his expression of delight. "Haven't you ever heard of don't ask, don't tell?"

There was dead silence for a heartbeat, then Daniel said defensively, "I'm not telling my team; I'm telling my friends. If there was ever fall-out, I don't want any of you caught off guard by it."

"You're expecting fall-out?" Jack asked curiously, ignoring a pang that told him maybe Daniel had his eye on someone.

"No," he answered irritably. "But then, I'm never expecting to find a relationship. They always just kind of happen to me. Even the first time, one minute I was tutoring someone it Greek, the next minute, we're all over each other. I never have figured out how we wound up on top of the table."

Remembering how Daniel and Sha'are had gotten together, Jack killed a snicker, then surprised himself by volunteering. "My first time was in the back of her dad's Caddy, junior year in high school, totally a heat of the moment kind of thing. Had a soft spot for Caddys ever since."

To his surprise, Sam spoke up. "Maybe that's the way to go. I planned meticulously for weeks - and it was a total disaster."

"In your opinion or his?" Jack couldn't help but ask.

With a soft chuckle, she admitted, "My brother came home unexpectedly right when things started getting interesting. Like I said, *total* disaster."

"There is a great deal to be said," Teal'c murmured, "For the way it is done on Chulak. It is an occasion of ceremony and ritual, done with the greatest care and consideration."

"Doesn't sound like much fun to me," Jack said.

"I assure you, O'Neill, it was most pleasurable. Master Bray'tac quite thorough."

"Master Bray'tac!" Jack couldn't help saying in surprise. "I always thought of both of you as completely straight."

"Straight?"

"You know, as opposed to gay."

"I do not understand, O'Neill."

Before Jack could reply to that, Daniel said something in Teal'c's native tongue, then added for the benefit of the others in the room, "His language doesn't have separate words for homosexuality, Jack. Just a word for sex, and another that implies sex for purposes of relaxation, as opposed for purposes of procreation. Which means pretty much that gender is a non-issue for them."

"Well, what do you know," Jack said thoughtfully, "I guess something good can come out of any culture. Even the Snake Heads."

"Do not mistake Apophis for the people he ruled," Teal'c disagreed. "While I can not dispute that his influence is pervasive, the population there is as it is here on Earth. You should not judge them by him any more than I will judge other T'aree by the men we encountered this evening."

"Point." Jack yawned hugely. "Come on, people. Sleepy time. We've got a lot of miles to cover if we're going to reach the Grand Canyon anytime soon."

Though she rolled over, Sam murmured, "Oh, good, does this mean you might actually ask someone where we *are?* Maybe even get directions?"

Before he could think of a comeback to that, morning hit him in the face and woke him up, making him wish he'd remembered the most important rule about hand to hand combat. Duck.

Thankfully the others seemed to be about as sore, and the improvised breakfast of biscuits, along with the butter and jelly Daniel had gotten from the waitress, was a mostly silent affair. It was Sam's turn to drive, and that suited Jack just fine. He put his head back and dozed, hardly paying attention to the dribs and drabs of conversation that seemed to drift around with the wind. A hesitation at an intersection as Daniel and Sam bent over the map to argue mildly about their route made him peel open an eye for a second, then sit up straight in his seat.

A series of brightly colored paper arrows were stapled on the lamp post closest him, all pointing the same direction, but the bottom two tilted oddly in relation to the others. To most people it was random graffiti; to him it was an idea that was just perfect for their current circumstances.

"Forget the map," he said sharply, leaning over the back of the front seat. "Take a left, then a left again at the next light. I'll tell you where to go from there." When it looked as if Sam would protest, he said, "Ah, ah, Jack knows best."

Carter shot him a look he couldn't decipher through her shades, but did as she was ordered. Seriously paying attention to the road now, he gave her directions several times more, then grinned broadly as they climbed a small hill to find a county fair setting up on a small field at its crest. "Perfect," he crowed, after ordering her to pull over. "How would you guys feel about trading a little hard labor for some nice, fatty, calorie-laden, only remotely nutritious food later on?"

Daniel was out of the car almost before he'd finished speaking. "I love these. Do you really think they'll let us help?"

"Can't hurt to ask, especially since all we're asking in return are some food chits and a safe place to camp tonight." Jack slid out over the side of the car, and led the way toward the largest cluster of workmen. "The worse they can do is say no. I did this off and on all while I was in high school. Hard work, and the people tend to be cautious with outsiders, but, hell, we're used to ignoring a little hostility."

"Calling it 'hostility' is a big strong," Daniel objected, though he was smiling. "For the most part, cautious works better."

"Might as well be a new planet to me," Sam admitted. "Never been to one."

"Sam! You're joking, right?" Jack stopped to look back at where she was trailing behind with Teal'c.

"No s... Jack. My father said they were all rip-offs; too much money for too little fun and the games were all crooked." She eyed the area suspiciously, as if they were indeed approaching unknown aliens.

Teal'c was less wary, but his return to total inscrutability indicated he was having his doubts as well. "We will assist in the construction of these structures? What is their purpose?"

"Oh brother," Jack muttered to himself. "I can't wait to hear Daniel tackle *that* one."

Before their discussion could go on any further, a dark-haired man about three and a half feet tall approached them, carrying himself as if he'd never noticed his height. "May I help you?"

Automatically sitting on his heels so that they could be face to face, Jack said politely, "Just wondering if you could use some spare hands. Not much in the way of experience, but strong backs and used to taking orders. Name's O'Neill, by the way."

He offered his hand, and after a moment of looking them over, the other man took it and said, "Alexander. Last, not first. This is my outfit. And if you people are AWOL or looking for trouble, this is *not* where you want to be."

"Actually, we're looking to stay out of trouble," Daniel said.

"We're at loose ends until our leave is up," Jack added. "And a little short on cash. Thought we could kill more than one bird with the same stone. Keep busy, earn a meal and a place to camp for the night."

Again Alexander assessed them, nodding thoughtfully at Teal'c's size and apparent strength. Finally he said, "I'll work you hard."

"We can do that."

***

Work them he did, and at about every job that needed done to set up the fair. It was mindless for the most part: hauling cables for power to the rides and concessions, holding beams and girders in place as more skilled or knowledgeable hands fastened them, toting that barge and lifting that bail. But as they worked, a nearly bare field with a giant's tinker toy set scattered over it slowly became a small amusement park, gaudy and cheerful in the bright sun.

To Jack's surprise, it was Daniel who took charge of SG1's creature comforts during their labor. He found sunblock when they started to burn, made sure that it was liberally used, and that plenty of water was available - and drunk. At lunchtime, he appeared, not only with their prize from the night before, but with a huge offering of hot batter-fried vegetables that he had somehow cadged from a concessionaire. It was an unexpected side of the younger man's character, and some how endearing.

Even more remarkable was Teal'c's apparent pleasure in both the job and the company he kept. To the other workmen, he was merely another strong body. Not an alien, not a Jaffa, not a traitor; just another black man sweating in the sun, a bandana over his bare skull to protect it from that orb's ferocity. His taciturn nature matched their own, and they accepted him because of that and his willing, powerful arms.

Telling himself he was simply being a good commander and keeping track of his people, Jack found himself being sure of where both Teal'c and Daniel were at all times. Though he busted his hump, he took the odd moment to find them visually, anyway, thinking he was being very subtle about it, and making a point to keep tabs on Sam, too.

That lasted until she squatted down next to him to hand him the nails for the framework he was assembling. She followed his line of sight to where Daniel was doing something similar for Teal'c, and said in a casual tone, "So which one you got the hots for? The four-eyed nerd or the big strapping black man?"

Mouth working faster than brain - which, for once, he was incredibly grateful for - Jack shot back, "Neither, the cute brainy one sorta has my attention."

She snorted inelegantly. "Right."

"Hey, in other times and places, we were married!"

"Not in this one," she answered calmly. "Frankly, si…Jack, it would be like dating my brother."

"Ow! That hurt, Carter. That really hurt." He grinned at her, finished with the section he was working on, and knee walked back to the next one. Head down, he said, "So, which one you got *your* eye on? And this is where I remind you, technically, Teal'c is married."

"Neither; two more brothers. Though I have to admit I get along with them better than I ever did with my real brother."

"Trouble forgiving him for bad timing?"

It took her a moment, but she got the reference to her confession last night, and punched him in the shoulder. Hard. "I'm serious. Having a little sister that is actually *ahead* of you in school is not easily forgiven. And he's never understood why I joined the Air Force."

"I'm serious, too." Without thinking he glanced over to where Daniel was shaking his head at whatever Teal'c had just said. "All of you are under my command; that means hands off to me."

"The reasons for that kind of detachment make logical sense, I know. But tell me honestly, would sending them into danger or shoving an order down their throat be any harder if one of them *were* your lover? Than it is already?"

Before Jack could answer, Alexander called for Sam, pointing out where a small, light person was needed to carry a messenger line to the top of a structure. With a grimace that was part amusement, part exasperation, she muttered, "Remind me of this day the next time I complain about what a slave-driver you are." Giving him the nails and brushing off her hands, she went where she was needed.

It left Jack alone with his hands busy and his mind racing. Though he tried to focus on what those extremities were doing, he unwillingly flicked glance after glance at his teammates, now acutely *physically* aware of them both. He'd never been exactly oblivious to how handsome they were, but it seemed as if the very day conspired to emphasize it. The burnished glow of the afternoon sun played over Teal'c's body, outlining and highlighting its perfection as he stretched and hefted with effortless grace. Hugging Daniel lovingly, the sunlight lingered especially on those elegant, long-fingered hands of his as they moved in an obscure, but precise ballet.

Mouth dry, the sweat on him suddenly cold and clammy, he tried to ignore them, tried to ignore the intermittent swelling in his pants and do his damned job. But his eyes drifted to Teal'c and Daniel repeatedly, and eventually the Jaffa caught him at it. Despite shielding sunglasses, despite distance, it seemed as if the huge man saw right into him and at the formless, newly acknowledged desires rising within.

Wondering why he'd ever considered Teal'c's expressions bland, Jack read an answering passion in his friend and teammate, one wilder than he'd ever expected from the stoic man. The weight between his legs doubled, throbbed, and he had the insane notion of simply walking up to Teal'c to claim his mouth for a kiss right where he stood, touching his….

A blast of white-bright pain lanced through him, and he jerked his hammered thumb up to his mouth, causing the curse that came out of it to sound odd. "Son of a bitchen'...."

"Jack!" Daniel knelt beside him, putting down the water jug he carried. "Let me see." He coaxed the bruised digit out where he could look at it, fumbling open the jug as he did. With a clean cup he dug out some ice, all the while turning Jack's hand this way and that to examine it. "You'll probably loose your thumbnail," he murmured, dipping the injury into the icy water.

"Not the first time," Jack managed to mumble, his dick suddenly aching much more painfully than his thumb. Head bent over to see better, sandy hair wind-blown and utterly touchable, Daniel was the picture of concerned innocence, completely unaware of what his nearness was doing to his friend. Or of how appealing his unassumed gentleness was. Such a man of contrasts, their Danny: devoted and tender with those he cared about, utterly ruthless to any threat to those same people.

That thought made more than Jack's erection hurt, and, pushing the cramped feeling in his chest aside, he gently pulled away. "It's okay. Like I said, hardly the first time."

Daniel let him go, his expression saying his lips were being sternly told not to smile. "Not a great believer in experience being the teacher, huh, Jack?"

"A little pain is good for you," Jack shot back. "Helps you to remember to keep your mind on the job."

Standing up, Daniel said, "Something distracting you?"

For a moment Jack goggled up at him, sure the other man was very subtly sexually teasing him. His body definitely thought so; it urged him to lean forward to the tempting mound so near and nuzzle it. But all that was in Daniel's face was genuine concern, and Jack shook his head. "You know, just the usual things that fly through your head when it's not as busy as the rest of you."

"Yeah, I do know." Looking off to where someone was gesturing him to bring the water, Daniel patted Jack on the shoulder in farewell and obeyed the summons.

Without wanting to, Jack stared after him, body humming in suppressed need. A moment later he made himself tear his gaze away, only to helplessly seek out Teal'c, again catching the Jaffa's eyes. Them too, he forced himself to leave, and, using the discipline that had saved his life over and over, he went back to work. Setting aside all his confusion and muddled longings, he demanded of himself that he concentrate, and succeeded in doing so until the growing darkness freed them from duty. But that night he lay on the outside edge of their campsite, with Sam carefully between him and the others, winning him a sardonic grin from her.

Dawn came the next morning looking as sullen and threatening as Jack felt. The sky held the promise of a fall rainstorm with its broken cloud cover, and the top had to go up on the Cadillac, making him edgy and claustrophobic. Either the mood was contagious, or the others were under the weight of the weather as well; Daniel and Sam were by turns silent or arguing with each other. Under the thin guise of having a 'discussion,' they fought all day long, including during the make-shift lunch. Only Teal'c seemed immune, but he was driving, and using intense concentration for the new skill.

For which Jack was extremely glad; he couldn't imagine how the Jaffar would handle a case of road rage. Probably use the Caddy as a battering ram, he mused.

In front of him Sam turned in her seat so she could see into the back, and said to Daniel with just a touch of irritability, "But that's just it; it's not exact so it *shouldn't* be called science. Study, philosophy, discipline - all of those, yes, because your Ph.D. was no easier to earn than mine, but not *science.*"

"This coming from a profession where one studies quarks and muons, things that you can only tell exist because of where they've been. Tell me how different that is from studying where people have been and what they did there," Daniel said flatly.

"Measurement!" Sam nearly crowed. "I can measure how big, how far, how fast. You can't do more than estimate a civilization's life."

"Could you do more than estimate if you had to look at *your* evidence centuries, even millennium later?" Annoyed, Daniel leaned forward, tapping the back of her seat absently with a long forefinger.

"In physics, your data can be reproduced by other researchers, validating your work. In archeology or anthropology, two observers can be at the same place at the same time and come away with two different sets of data." Carter was sounding smug, and it was getting on Jack's nerves, even though he wasn't even sure what the 'discussion' was about.

"And two different researchers can take the same damn set of numbers and come up with two entirely different explanations for the results," Daniel snapped back, putting more force than necessary into his poking. "Remember Big Bang versus Expansion Universe? And how about the trouble you're having coming up with a unified field theory? What makes you so damned certain that there *is* an unifying mathematical theorem for the universe, anyway?"

"But sooner or later *facts* are added upon, and added upon, and added upon until theory becomes inarguable. It can take time, but it *can* happen. If we think something like the Unified Field Theory is possible, it's because we have something concrete, mathematical to point the way. If you believe Camelot exists, what do you have but the most unreliable thing in the universe? Word of mouth. Gossip."

Her voice had risen a level or so, and Daniel did the same, as if the volume had the power of persuasion. "So because I don't have a time machine and can't go back to bring back the kind of concrete evidence for my theories that you think numbers gives yours, my field isn't valid. That's like saying that if I die without building a pyramid the size of Cheops, I never lived!"

Tired of this particular bout of bickering, Jack butted in. "What difference does it make whether you call it a science or a philosophy, anyway, Daniel? And Sam, weren't you the one telling me that, mathematically speaking, you can prove one plus one *doesn't* equal two? How concrete is that?"

"Jack!" Daniel started, Sam's voice penetrating slightly better with her "Sir!" because of her naturally higher pitch.

Before the fight could progress past that word, the car abruptly swerved onto the curb, coming to a neck-snapping halt. Teal'c said very firmly, "This must stop. Now."

Dead silence reigned for about 30 seconds, then Jack said, not surprised at all to hear Daniel and Sam echoing it, "They started it."

More dead silence, and Teal'c stared straight-ahead, wearing his absolute best stone-face and giving every impression of having no intention of ever moving again.

A giggle of indiscriminate sex broke the silence, then peals of laughter that ended with Daniel leaning his head on Sam's arm, chuckling weakly and Jack wiping at his eyes.

"Sorry Teal'c. Daniel," Sam offered through her giggles. "I don't know what got into me."

"Apology accepted," Teal'c said smoothly, then glanced at Daniel significantly.

"Me, too," he gasped. "I don't have an excuse either, except that I'm sore and a lot more tired of being on the road than I expected after only two days"

Putting the car in gear, Teal'c carefully maneuvered back onto the highway. "Understood." And that seemed to be the end of the matter for him.

But Jack had to fight off more snickers, and he didn't dare look at either of his cohorts for fear that one of them would say or do something to set him off. He couldn't even really say why he had such a fit of the giggles, except that it was at least better than the tiring, frustrating thoughts that had chased him all through sleep and packing up this morning. That and the fact that the faint vibrations of Daniel containing his own laughter were nearly irresistible.

They had only driven about a mile when he couldn't hold it in any longer. Trying for the tone of a plaintive eight-year-old, he asked, "Are we there yet?" at the exact same time Sam and Daniel asked, as well.

It took nearly fifteen minutes for them to stop laughing this time, and afterward they all fell into a natural peace that lasted until they began to see the signs for the Grand Canyon. And the signs of an enormous range fire. In the far distance, smoke, heavy and thick, rose up to the broken clouds over head, a thin, bright line of flickering orange/yellow separating it from the horizon.

Concerned, they traded looks, and Jack asked softly, "Turn back?"

"Firefighters might need a few more workers," Daniel said for the others.

Taking the agreement as reason to speed up, Teal'c floored it, making Jack dig into the upholstery, white-knuckled and tense. Reminding himself over and over that the man flew space ships for god's sake, he restrained himself from doing anything foolish. Like climbing over the back of the seat and taking the wheel. "No traffic coming the other way," he pointed out in what thankfully sounded like his normal voice. "Must have evacuated the area already. Anybody remember hearing about this?"

"No," Daniel said softly, "But then it's easy for us to get out touch with what's happening here on Earth, isn't it?"

"Too easy for us to forget that there's a world outside of the SGC, outside of the military," Jack agreed. "Easy for any soldier to forget that he's not fighting for his own private reasons."

Sam shot him a look, but then nodded thoughtfully. "For all of us, the battle with the Ga'ould *is* personal. But we aren't the only ones who stand to lose in it."

"SG1 and the other teams," Jack said, "are the ultimate covert operation. Think about it. Outside of the president and a few of his people, who knows about us? Which makes it that much harder to stay grounded on the 'why' and the 'who' behind what we're doing.

"You loose a lot of covert operatives because they forget that. They turn traitor, selling out for the money. They go crazy, getting hooked on the thrills or the killing itself. Or it gets so personal for them they don't obey orders, losing sight of the ultimate goals to satisfy their own."

"Are you trying to tell us something, Jack?" Daniel had his chin resting on his knuckles, thumb idly stroking over fingers, telling O'Neill he was thinking, 'tell *me* something.'

"More like trying to remind you, I guess, " he admitted.

"Is that the real reason behind this trip?" Sam asked.

"No, yes, I don't know." Jack scrubbed at his forehead, then went on. "Look, I meant what I said. We're tired, we're over-worked, we need a break and a road trip seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Then this was your idea," Daniel stated, not asked.

"Yeah." He started to defend it, felt a change in the speed of a car, and glanced through the windshield. "Roadblock," he said to call the others attention to it. Digging into a back pocket, he brought out his wallet and rolled down his window as Teal'c came to a stop beside a National Guardsman.

"Colonel Jack O'Neill, US Air Force," he said, holding his I.D. out for inspection. "Can we be of any use to your firefighters?"

Handing back the wallet, the Guardsman gave a small salute. "No, sir. It's pretty much under control by now, and if we get the rain those clouds are promising there won't be anything left but mop-up by tomorrow."

"I take it the Canyon's off-limits, then?"

Pushing back his helmet a little, looking much too young to be a soldier of any kind, the other man said reflectively, "Well, our orders were to keep out the rubberneckers and casual tourists. But the fire's way beyond the campgrounds and overlooks now, and even if the wind shifted, there's nothing left for it to burn. Seeing as you already came all this way and there's almost no danger left.... If you want to take responsibility for going on?"

With a fast glance at the others to confirm that they were still interested, Jack said cheerfully, "Thank you, soldier! I'll do that. And in case something happens and your people need to dig us out for whatever reason, maybe you can tell us the best spot for roughing it where we won't get covered in ashes."

The Guardsman thought for a moment then gave directions, finishing with a cocky grin, "Hope you don't toss and turn too much in your sleep, or you'll be visiting the bottom of the Canyon, too."

"Gee, thanks for the nightmare," Daniel muttered to himself.

"There is no reason to be concerned," Teal'c told him, acknowledging the soldier's wave good-bye with a slight nod as he accelerated. "O'Neill and myself will place you between us for safety."

Inwardly groaning at the image that provoked, Jack shot a startled look at the Jaffa, wondering if he was being obliquely ragged on. Carter flashed him a grin; if the comment had been from her, he would have been sure of it.

He halfway expected the conversation to pick up where it'd been left off, but less than a thousand yards down the road; the damage from the fire began to appear. The devastation rendered them speechless, and at the same time, it was eerily beautiful, as if the intent of the flames had been to leave behind the sleek and graceful bones of the land. Black ash, stirred up by the wind of their passage, swirled around them, an inverse snow that constantly drew their eyes back to the damage.

And back to the wavering thread of fire that caused it. Though still distant, it was close enough that it dominated the horizon to their right, slashing across as a living barrier between land and sky. Attractive, repellent, fascinating - it was all of that, and Jack shuddered uneasily, the mindless animal in him disturbed by the sight of its ancient enemy. Teal'c and the others seemed to share his reaction; they all wore nearly identical expressions of deep thought and vague dreading.

Once or twice he was tempted to crack wise and break the spell, but the sheer power behind what they were witnessing silenced him, as it had silenced the others. No mean feat for a team that had literally gone to Hell and come back out again, alive and intact. Jack gave himself over to his morbid sightseeing, dimly thinking that their campsite and first view of the Canyon wasn't far ahead and that would break the spell.

It didn't; it added to the unreal quality of their surroundings, adding elements that had not been possible in the confines of the car. Scent, which they had been aware of all along, cloaked them immediately when they stopped and got out, almost as visibly present as the fire itself. It didn't have the same tame, pungent odor as a campfire, but had its own demanding smell, bearing as much resemblance to a cooking fire as a meadow full of wildflowers did to a single rose.

Wafts of wind, now cold, now warm, now hot, carried the scent, along with the black and gray remnants of the life that had once been present in this place. It flirted with their bodies, drifting over them idly one moment, then giving them a strong push the next, making them feel uncertain on their feet and in their heads. The wind also carried the sound of the fire, a familiar noise amplified by pure size to terrifying proportions.

As great an impact as all that had on them, nothing, *nothing* could prepare them for the wonder of the Grand Canyon. No description in a book or by a friend, no photograph, no movie could ever convey the sheer physical reality of that tremendous work of nature. Even Daniel drifted as close to the edge of the canyon wall as possible while his mind tried to absorb the sheer size and beauty of it.

Aside from mere presence, the side effects of the forest fire and the sunset fighting fitfully through the broken clouds lifted the view to something that verged on the unbelievable. Heavy plumes of smoke fell over the sides in an ethereal waterfall effect that fooled the eye into seeing the motion as coming from something living. Lit from within by the fire and above by the unrestrained palette of the dying daylight, the cover erased the horizon, erased the stability of solid ground and gave them the impression of being suspended in the clouds as the sun crept past the edge of the earth.

They sat, heedless of the ash and dirt, and watched the night come, enthralled by the natural drama before them. Only when darkness had completely fallen did Teal'c break the long silence. "Our journey was to remind of us of this as well, was it not, O'Neill?"

"Oh, yeah," Jack breathed. "Oh, yeah!"

****

By mutual unspoken consent, they decided to drive back the way they had come, looking for lodgings for the night when the first splatters of the rain began shortly after night fell. Trading a hot meal for hot showers struck everyone as a good idea, too, and they made do with leftovers from Teal'c original stash and their stay at the fair the day before. Though the day had been physically easier, in other ways it had been as draining as hard labor, and they all fell asleep almost instantly.

The next morning found the rain falling steadily, but this time the atmosphere in the car was cozy, comfortable, and they were all content to listen to music, occasionally talking about nothing important at all. Jack drove again, and without consulting the others, he took back roads and scenic routes, in no hurry to get back home just yet. A part of him was waiting for another opportunity to dawdle, another diversion that would let him spend more time with his friends, but mostly he let the day glide on by without a great deal of thought on his part.

In time, driving took more and more of his attention, as the rain came down harder, often very heavily. When they were nearly run off the road a third time by a local who thought he knew the road well enough to drive like a mad man no matter how bad the weather, Jack asked tensely, "How much we got left in the kitty, Daniel?"

Without looking Daniel said, "Two hundred and thirteen dollars and fifty-seven cents."

"A room will probably cost us forty or fifty," Sam volunteered. "Doesn't leave much for gas or food to get home."

Leaning forward to peer through the windshield, Jack said, "Well, it won't be the first time we went hungry."

"No," Daniel disagreed instantly. "If you can find a grocery store, we can get bread and peanut butter; cheap and filling. Or we can do ramen noodles, if you want to try to use the campstove in the doorway. Which could get us tossed out of the motel, by the way."

"Peanut butter sounds good," Jack mumbled, mind mostly on the road, slowing down more as he realized water was covering it just ahead.

"Daniel," Sam began, "Just how starving...."

Before she could get any farther, a Wagoneer, driver apparently impatient with Jack's caution, sped around them, close enough and fast enough to make the old Caddy sway on its shocks. "Whoa!" Jack barked. "Watch it you idiot!"

Through the smears of rain on the windshield, he watched the vehicle race through the standing water, cursing softly when he realized it was going toward a flooded bridge.

"Not going to make it," Sam muttered, craning her neck to see. "Doesn't he know better?"

In fact, if the jeep had been able to maintain speed, it might have gotten all the way across, but it slowed for a log being swept along by the water, and that allowed the crucial few seconds necessary for the engine to flood. Without thinking, Jack hit the gas, then braked hard, sending the Caddy into a sideways skid that ended with them half across the other side of the road, the nose pointed toward the stranded Wagoneer. Before it stopped shaking, he and Teal'c were out, running for the trunk for the rope that was in with the camping gear.

He could hear Daniel calling out to the driver of the other car, telling him the water was too high, but hang on, help was coming. In response, the tinted window came down, and a man stuck his head out, red hair instantly turning brown in the downpour. Jack raced toward Sam who was standing beside Daniel at the water's edge and handed her the keys. "Start the car, we're going to use it for an anchor! You make sure it stays put!"

She nodded, then snapped, eyes on the jeep, "Kids? He was driving like that with kids in the car?" A glance showed that the passenger window was coming down as well, and three small heads could be seen through it.

Swearing, she darted back to their car, as he turned toward the others. With a 'heads-up!' warning to the Wagoneer from Daniel, Teal'c tossed the rope toward the driver, and Jack grabbed the free end, sliding to his stomach to get under the front of the Caddy to loop it over the frame. By the time he was on his feet again, the first cast had been missed, and the rope was being hauled back in as fast as Teal'c and Daniel could manage.

The next throw was caught and the rope hastily knotted to the struts between the two windows on the driver's side of the Wagoneer. Jack pulled on his end to bring it taut, then wrapped it around the Caddy's chassis one more time before tying it off. A good length was left over, and Teal'c secured himself with it by the waist even as Daniel conjured a knife to sever the excess.

"Wait, wait," Jack yelled, stripping off his outer shirt, glad it was military issue and hopefully stronger than civies would be. He knotted the arms around the Jaffa's hips, then brought up the tails to knot around his neck, improvising a sling. Nodding his understanding, Teal'c didn't spend any more time on land; he carefully waded out to the car, hands locked on the lifeline between the two vehicles. Daniel took his safety line and looped it around his own waist, and Jack quickly followed suit, digging in his heels as he felt the tug on it from the rising water battering at Teal'c.

It took forever, but he made it safely to the jeep, which was rocking with repeated blows from debris and currents from the flood. A young girl, about five and howling her head off, was handed out, her father trying uselessly to calm her all while Teal'c fitted her into the sling. As soon as she was secured, a smaller child, another girl to guess by the pink shorts suit on the tiny body, was slipped through, the father saying something to their rescuer as she did.

Nodding, the huge man helped the baby into the sling with her sister, then turned ponderously and crept back toward shore. By then the water was at his knee, and his face showed the strain of fighting the current, blood already showing briefly on the rope he held before the rain washed it away. Backing up to take the slack as well as pulling steadily, feeling for Teal'c movements through the line, Jack fought to stay on his feet in the slippery mud.

An eternity later, all were safely on solid land, and Daniel released his hold on the rope long enough to help the girls out of the sling and into the car. Not waiting to see what happened to them, Teal'c turned to go back, and Jack gritted his teeth to let out the lifeline slowly by himself until Daniel took up his position again.

Waves were splashing over top of the jeep, shaking it violently when Teal'c returned, and the father had crept out to sit in the open window, using his body to shelter the five-year-old in his lap. Nervously, afraid the truck would lose its footing and start to float, Jack checked to make sure he could reach the knife shoved into Daniel's waistband. No way could the Caddy keep the water from claiming the Wagoneer if it began to do more than be battered downstream.

As it was, Sam was constantly gunning the engine, inching the big car backwards, to keep the towline straight. The little girls clinging to her neck on either side didn't hinder her efforts or her concentration, and some insane, detached part of Jack's mind wondered if that was an instinctive mommy kind of thing.

An abrupt yank on the safety line brought Jack's focus snapping back onto Teal'c. He had the last child in harness, and seemed to be debating with the father. Over the rush of rain and stream, it was impossible to hear what the argument was about, but the Jaffa ended it by turning his back on the man. A split second later Sam's skill was tested to the max; the father slid down the body of his car, upper arms hooked over the rope attached to it. The extra weight made it sag and gave the Wagoneer an un-needed lurch.

Mercifully, that was all it did, but the combined action echoed into Teal'c's hold on the lifeline, making him waver precariously before getting both feet firmly under him again. Then the other man hooked a hand into the shirt sleeves knotted at Teal'c's back, so that he was more or less towed along as he was waded through the stream.

"Damned jackass is going to drag them all down!" Jack shouted, making his hands pull steadily though he wanted to put his back into it and get his friend to safety.

"I think Teal'c is telling him about the same thing," Daniel gasped out.

It did look as though the Jaffa had a thing to two to say on the subject, but he quickly gave it up. Even from the shore it was apparent the father was completely panicked, fighting the stream with strength born from that. Barely enough strength, though, and the lifeline swung and dipped dangerously under both his desperate clinging and constant beating he took from the currents and debris that threatened to pull him under. Apparently no longer trusting the rope's behavior, Teal'c all but abandoned it, letting it run by his side as he held on with one arm, but he used his other hand to haul himself in by the safety line.

Jack gritted his teeth and took the extra weight, feeling his skin burn, then break and bleed from clutching it so tightly. Behind him, he heard Daniel plop to the ground, using heels and upper thigh muscles to add to their combined anchoring force. It worked, but less than five feet from shore, the father lost his battle to stay upright and almost went under.

With a yell that could be heard despite the roar of the elements, Teal'c caught him by the scruff of his collar as he was pulled past by the flood, and heaved, taking him momentarily all the way out of the water. The Jaffa hurled the other man so that he landed close to shore, close enough that he could literally crawl hand-over-hand on the line to it. It cost Teal'c; he fell to his knees, leaning at his shoulders into the rope to stabilize himself. Unable to do more than be ready to pull like mad if he lost his balance completely, Jack waited anxiously, willing his friend to regain his feet.

Ponderously, face contorted at the effort, Teal'c did. Three agonizing minutes later he was near enough that they dropped the rope and ran to help him the rest of the way to safety. Putting the other man's arm over his shoulder, Jack held Teal'c up and saw that Daniel was doing the same on the other side. From under the tattered remains of the uniform shirt, young, bedraggled feminine face peered at him, and he murmured, "It's okay, you're safe now, back on good old solid ground."

The widely dilated eyes didn't so much as blink, and Jack hoped like hell that the nearest hospital was close. It looked like she was going into shock, and he kept up his reassurances, hoping they would help a little, until they all plopped down a good way from the raging stream. Sam appeared, carrying the other two, and she pressed the sisters together, both to share warmth and for the comfort of family.

They remained huddled in the rain like that for several minutes, Jack automatically looking to make sure the tow line had been cut and that the father wasn't in need of first-aid. In the distance fire sirens could be heard, and Daniel said ironically, "Oh, good. Help is on the way."

"I," Jack said heavily. "Need a drink."

"Anybody got anything we can pawn?" Daniel asked. "Because one drink is going to be lonely and ask for more of its kind for company."

Without a word Jack peeled off his watch. "Gold case. Should get us at least a small crowd of them going." The sirens became deafening, and Jack reluctantly peeled himself away from the group so he could deal with the authorities.

Hours later, he was ready to pull out his emergency credit card and max it out for the sake of a good drunk. His hands hurt, his shoulders and back ached, and he *still* felt damp and muddy, though he had showered and put on dry clothes. From the looks of things, none of his team felt any better and Teal'c had every reason for needing a little alcoholic numbing. From the knees down his legs were a mass of bruising, cuts, and scrapes, all courtesy of the flood, and though he bore them with his usual stoic passivity.

"Desk clerk told me that there are three bars within walking distance of this dump," he announced as he was wrapping Daniel's hands, his own aching as he did. Sam looked out from under her forearm where she was sprawled over the other bed, and Teal'c shifted slightly on the bed behind him, as if turning to look at where Jack sat perched on the edge. "A country-western kind of place that supposedly serves great ribs, a sports bar that he didn't have a good thing to say about, and one that's probably gay from the way he danced around its existence."

"Any of them have a dance floor?" Sam asked. "I'm never going to be able to sleep tonight if I don't burn off some of this nervous energy. I keep seeing those three kids being swept away, all because their father had more macho than sense. 'Didn't seem that high, been through worse with that jeep of mine,'" she quoted sarcastically.

"We can hit them all and find out, but, Sam, you're going to have to refrain from starting a brawl, all right?"

"No promises," she muttered darkly.

"If you don't," he shot back, "I'll be forced to act like your date and defend your honor. *Not* a pretty sight."

A small grin appeared, and she said, "We could always go to the gay bar and then *I*could defend *your* honor."

"What honor?"

In fact they did eventually wind up there, but only because the rib place smelled too damned good for four people who'd eaten peanut butter and washed it down with tap water. And the sports bar didn't have a dance floor, which Sam insisted made it unacceptable for her. Besides, the Pink Panther was the best of the three, any way, both for decor and clientele.

It turned out to be brightly lit and comfortably furnished, like someone's living room or play room, and appeared to be the local hang out for the younger crowd. Perhaps because that age was more tolerant in general, there were indeed couples of the same sex here and there who might have been friends out for a drink, or as easily two people becoming better acquainted. No one looked twice as SG1 went in and sat down, which was much more than could be said of the other two places.

"Beer, whatever's on tap," Jack told the waitress, a blonde that didn't look old enough to be drinking it, let alone serving it.

"Same," Sam told her, shrugging off the long-sleeve shirt she'd worn as a jacket against the autumn chill that had replaced the rain.

"Irish coffee?" Daniel asked. At her nod, he added, "Strong and sweet, please."

"Irish coffee?" Jack repeated, blinking at him. "I had you figured for a tequila man. Teal'c, you're not ordering?"

The Jaffa broke the gaze he held with the waitress - who had been studying him as if she wanted to jump him then and there, while something about his expression said he would spank her if she tried. "I do not care for fermented beverages, O'Neill."

"Aw, come on, Teal'c. It's not as if we need a designated driver. Relax, unbend a little," Jack coaxed.

"It is not that I do not wish to join you; I truly find the effects of alcohol to be unpleasant."

"Oh." Jack thought furiously, then ventured, "Well there's gotta be something you'd like."

"Perhaps, one of those?" Teal'c pointed to the end of the bar closest to them, where a large economy-sized jar of kosher dill pickles sat next to the wall. "I find the taste agreeable."

"Sure, knock yourself out." He nodded to the waitress to confirm Teal'c's choice, and then pulled Sam to her feet. "Come on; let's break the ice and dance together while she brings our beer."

Looking surprised, Sam did as asked, and they laughed at each other while they tried to find a dance-step they both knew. As soon as the music was over, they both stopped by the table to drain half their beer, then Sam grabbed Daniel and pulled him onto the floor while Jack chose a woman at random and asked her to dance. After that, they chose partners from nearby spectators, starting a trend that kept the small area crowded.

Several hours and beers later, Jack threw himself into his seat, panting and grinning in equal measures. Sam was still dancing, but Daniel was nose to nose with Teal'c, talking earnestly in another language with the man. "Hey, what's so serious you gotta be talkin' about it when there are lovely ladies awaiting your attention?"

Daniel turned his head slowly, which told Jack that he was definitely feeling the effects of the booze. "Did you know that on Chulak men don't dance? At all?"

What surprised Jack was how Teal'c responded to the question. Head on hand, one of his small, secretive smiles in place, he pivoted in place enough to look at his commander. "That is not precisely correct. There is one occasion."

"When's that?" Jack asked automatically, bemused by the thought the big man might be drunk, though he knew for a fact that all he'd had was water and four of those big pickles he liked so much.

"When we court a lover." He let the statement sit in the bubble of quiet around them for a heartbeat, then went on, almost slyly, "Which Daniel tells me is the primary purpose here, as well."

"That and to have fun," Jack amended. "So, ah, when you ask someone to dance, it's a declaration of intent then?"

"No. When you dance for a potential partner is a bid for their sexual interest," Teal'c corrected solemnly but with that partial smile still in place.

"Then you must find this," and Daniel clumsily gestured with his empty cup toward the dance floor, "an erotic display such as wet-dreams are made of."

Teal'c's eyes glittered brightly with what Jack was sure was lust, but he answered mildly enough, "Indeed. The effect was most unexpected."

Afraid those mysterious dark eyes would fasten on his - and almost as afraid they wouldn't - Jack stood, steadied himself, and said, "Maybe we'd better get going, then. Unless you *like* getting all worked up for nothing."

To his relief Teal'c's eyes drifted shut momentarily, and he did a take when he saw Daniel sigh in the same obvious relief. They stared at each other for a moment, then the linguist murmured softly, "Maybe not for nothing."

Not sure he had heard correctly, Jack was about to bend forward and hope his mouth came up with something witty to provoke the other man into repeating himself, when Sam slammed herself into her chair and drained her glass of beer. "Can we afford another round?" she panted. "I'm parched." She leaned across the table and patted Teal'c on the hand. "Sorry, you must be bored over here by yourself. Want me to teach you to dance?"

About to tell her what Daniel had told him, Jack was stopped by Teal'c slowly opening his eyes and saying, "I cannot."

"Come on, I promise not to step on your feet."

"I cannot," Teal'c repeated solemnly. "I appear to unable to move."

Instantly sober, Jack put two fingers on the Jaffa's neck, searching for a pulse. "Carter," he barked, "Call S..."

"That is unnecessary; I can remedy the problem." With a strange lack of coordination which was even stranger looking on Teal'c, he reached for the dregs of Jack's last beer. With an expression exactly like a two-year-old's about to take dreadful tasting medicine, he drained it, grimacing as he swallowed. A huge shudder chased over the powerful body, then he shook his head hard, once. "I believe I should return to our current quarters now."

"Are you sure you're all right?" Sam asked. "Maybe we should call for a medevac." Standing with the others, she gathered up jackets while Daniel and Jack got their friend's arm over their shoulders to help support him for the second time that day.

"I assure you, SamanthaCarter, my indisposition is strictly temporary." And while he did sound perfectly normal, he lurched along ungainly, looking very much like a man who had had a few too many. For that reason no one in the bar paid them any attention, and they made it out to the street without being stopped or questioned.

Once out, the cold, fresh air seemed to revive Teal'c, and all Jack had to do was help Daniel keep him stable. On the other hand, it seemed to hit Sam right in the head, and she staggered.

"Whoa!" she mumbled, putting a hand to her head. "I didn't have that much to drink."

Exchanging a glance with Daniel to warn him, Jack went to her side, unable to catch her before she stumbled and fell, banging her head on the sidewalk. "That's what they all say," he muttered, helping her up. She started to protest, so Jack added hastily, "Teasing, Carter, teasing. You chugged that last one after some pretty heavy exercise - bound to land on you like a ton of bricks."

"I hate being drunk," she complained, but she leaned into the arm he slung around her waist, obviously needing the support more and more as they walked. By the time they reached their room, he was all but carrying her, and he dropped her onto the bed where she landed face down. Swearing he could hear her start to snore on the way down, he bent over to make sure she was out, grinning at the sight of a tousled, soused Sam. Looking at the scrape on her forehead, he went to get the first aid-kit again, then gingerly sat on the edge of the bed to treat the injury. Behind him he could hear Teal'c and Daniel talking quietly, though he couldn't tell about what. He straightened when he was done, intending to make a smart remark about genius not being able to hold liquor, but was stunned into immobility by what he saw.

All but vanishing into the massive arms holding him, Daniel was being thoroughly, unexpectedly kissed by Teal'c, eyes wide behind his glasses in comic surprise. He had his hands up halfway between them, as if uncertain whether to waste effort by shoving at the wall Teal'c used for a chest, or to cling to it and return the kiss. As Jack watched, 'clinging to' won, and Daniel's eyes drifted shut as he started to enjoy what was being done to him, giving back as good as he got. He must have given a lot; Teal'c all but growled, biceps bulging out as he tightened his hold.

The sane part of Jack insisted that he move backwards, go sleep in the car for the night; the less intelligent of his two heads wanted to get up close and personal to the action, intently interested in getting a share of it, however vicariously. The little one won the brief debate, and Jack took a hesitant step forward, licking his lips and wondering what to say if he was noticed.

The movement must have reminded Teal'c of his presence; he broke off the kiss, eliciting a moan of disappointment from Daniel that was about the most erotic thing Jack had ever heard. Whispering something in his new lover's ear, Teal'c released him, and stretched out a long arm to capture Jack by the hand. Before he could think of how to respond, he was gathered into a hug, and incredibly soft lips covered his own in a kiss that he didn't even try to fight. Returning it with everything he had, he savored the lush taste, growing almost instantly hard. It was his turn to groan when Teal'c released him, and he stood, swaying slightly, unable to think of a thing to say or do.

From the bed where he was taking off Sam's shoes and cocooning her in the blankets, Daniel said softly, "He wants to share with both of us."

"Both?" Jack said stupidly, unable to pull his gaze away from the vibrant darkness of Teal'c's eyes.

"I cannot choose between you," Teal'c admitted, his passion roughened voice showing for the first time something other than its normal controlled smoothness. "In truth, I do not wish to."

Coming to stand beside them, Daniel asked, "What about Ray'tec?"

Eyes finally falling, hiding shame and anger, Teal'c admitted, "She has refused me since I joined SG1. It is within her rights." He looked back up, and added. "And it is within my to share with a comrade. I cannot divorce her if I wish to claim my son as my own. This is the only option with honor left open to me, though that is *not* why I wish it." With gentle fingers, he brushed a light caress over Daniel's cheek, then took the linguist's glasses off carefully, laying them on top of the desk/dresser nearby, saying with that simple gesture why he wanted him.

Involuntarily, Jack shivered, desire following eagerly in its wake. But he said calmly, "Daniel, what do you have to say about this?"

Eyes anywhere but on the other two men in the room, Daniel said hesitantly, "I, uh..."

Suddenly sure that he wanted to say yes, but didn't think he should, Jack did something he thought he might have wanted to do subconsciously for a very long time. Curling his fingers over the nape of Daniel's neck, he trailed his thumb over the soft skin just under the jaw and ear, coaxing the other man forward to cover Daniel's mouth with his own. Jack put all the confused longing and need he had felt over the past few days into the touch, marveling at how sweet and yielding Daniel was. As tenderly as it started, the kiss turned rugged in a few heartbeats, and Jack honestly didn't know which one of them was whimpering.

Solid heat molded itself to his back, and tender lips played over the back of his neck, making his knees buckle suddenly. Teal'c carried him and Daniel to the floor with ease, nestling them into the blankets and sleeping bags that he must have placed there while his lovers held each other for the first time. Hands, sometimes two, some times four, began to wander over Jack's body, removing clothes and finding all the sensitive spots that made him cry out or quiver. His did the same, hardly noticing whether it was sleek darkness or downy creaminess that was touched and revealed.

Daniel tore away, but only so that he could taste what he'd been exploring, and Teal'c claimed his mouth again before Jack had time to do more than take a breath. Dimly thinking Daniel had a good idea, he only cooperated for a minute, then lovingly pulled away so that he could lick along the strong line of throat so closeby. Curled on his side, he worked his way downward with nips and sucking kisses, not really caring when he rambled onto Daniel's back and hip, or that it was Teal'c who first lapped at his weeping hardness. Eventually he found a hard-on of his own to fasten onto, and did so eagerly, taking the plum colored shaft down his throat with practiced ease.

Instantly loving the tangy bitterness, he slid back enough to probe gingerly at the slit on the plump crown, drawing a hoarse shout from Teal'c that was oddly muffled. Jack looked up to see that the Jaffa was similarly occupied with Daniel, going down on him with a vigor that told Jack this was a favorite past-time. A moment later his own cock was swallowed down in one slick glide.

Hampered, or perhaps aided, by the beer he'd drunk earlier, the loving lasted a long, dreamy time for Jack, the thrusts of one of them into the willing, hungry mouth of another moving through them like a ripple around a small pond. Oddly, there was no urgency in their loving, just a balanced rocking toward completion that was, in and of itself, not the goal so much as the excuse to bestow and receive pleasure.

Mother Nature can't be denied indefinitely, however, and Daniel eventually started picking up the pace ever so slightly, making anxiously needy noises in the back of his throat. The sound of lust in that spurred Jack as well, and he bobbed his head up and down the length he was devouring faster and faster, suddenly eager for the taste of Teal'c's seed. It didn't take long to pull it out, along with a roar of pleasure that did Jack in, racing through him and leaving a trail of fire that ignited the ache in his balls. Silently he exploded, driving himself deeply into the willing mouth on him, giving up his load in bursts of ecstasy.

Distantly he heard a choked gasp from Daniel, knew he was finishing as well, then let himself drift in sexual bliss and the simple comfort of being cuddled on both sides by his lovers. From there the trip into sleep was made without any noticeable transition on his part, punctuated only by an occasional satisfied sigh or murmur from Teal'c or Daniel.

Hours later, the beer he'd drunk earlier demanded to make an exit, and Jack pulled himself blearily from the knot the three of them had made. Once business was taken care of, he unwillingly pulled on the sweats he'd been sleeping in, mindful of Sam's presence. Though the smell of sex - not to mention the shit-eating grin he couldn't seem to scrape off - would tell her what had happened while she was passed out, he didn't want to give her any more ammunition for ribbing than necessary. Leaving the bathroom light on and door ajar in case some one else had to make the same trip, he padded back for their makeshift bed and noticed that Sam's blankets had fallen off her shoulders.

Shivering in the cool air, Jack automatically reached out to tug them back over her, then stopped, hand mid-pull. Sam's own hands were intimately placed, *inside* her clothing, and for one wicked, wicked second Jack contemplated on waiting until she started ragging on him to ask her when, exactly, she'd awakened enough to do that. Then, smiling exactly like a twelve-year-old who has the goods on his sister, he finished covering her up, deciding he'd let her pretend she was too hungover to notice anything unusual tomorrow morning.

****

Next day Jack insisted, with Sam and Daniel backing him, that they drive straight back to SGC for Dr. Fraser to examine Teal'c. Though the Jaffa claimed that his symptoms the night before were from the pickles he ate, more specifically from one of the herbs used to preserve them, Jack wanted to be sure. He didn't care that it was used by the Jaffar for medicinal purposes, or that Teal'c hadn't been able to taste it because of the pickle itself. He wanted to know for a fact that his new lover was in tip-top condition because he was about to drag him off for a thorough exam of his own, with Daniel's capable assistance.

Once they went into the infirmary, though, Fraser took one look and had *all* of them sit on a bed for medical attention. Personally he thought she was over-doing it a bit, though maybe it was a good idea to change the bandages and check for infection. But he sat, legs swinging restlessly, as she checked him out, then ordered his hands re-bandaged.

Hammond came in while Fraser was looking over the damage to Teal'c's legs and demanded, "Colonel O'Neill, what has your team been up to?"

Because he was going to have to make a report later, thanks to both the fight at the diner and the incident with the Wagoneer, Jack walked that thin line the General had warned him about more than once. "Oh, you know, the usual vacation stuff."

Looking them over, taking in the sunburn, bruises, scrapes, bandages, and overall slightly battered air that comes from living out of a car and suitcase for five days, Hammond repeated with just enough disbelief to make Jack defensive, "Usual vacation stuff."

Hopping down from the table and nodding at the nurse who had treated her forehead, Sam said cheerfully, "We went to see the Grand Canyon."

From where he sat head down, as if watching the orderly re-wrapping his rope-burned and torn hands, Daniel added, "Took in a county fair, camped out some, ate out some, went out dancing. Nothing all that exciting."

"I see, " Hammond said doubtfully. "Nothing special to report."

"No, sir," SG1 chorused.

Hammond didn't know what to say to that, and seeing that everyone was waiting for his dismissal, he waved them on, barely hiding a perplexed look.

Standing, Teal'c caught Jack's eyes with his own, a promise inherent in them, then faced their commander calmly. "I understand this 'vacation' is an annual event, General Hammond?"

"For most," Hammond agreed warily.

"Excellent." He sailed out the door majestically, wearing his most enigmatic expression, hands crossed behind his back.

They all filed out, following Teal'c's lead, and Sam spoke up. "Then next year we should go do Yellowstone, don't you think, Jack?"

Stopping dead in his tracks, Hammond turned to her. "Major Carter! The colonel is your commanding officer; you will address him as 'sir' or 'colonel,'" he scolded gently

Unable to help it, Jack leaned on the wall and started to laugh, delighted to hear it echoed by the other members of his team.

finis