TITLE: Choices Cost - Chapter 04 - Willie or Wonie

NAME: Mik

E-MAIL: ccmcdoc@hotmail.com

CATEGORY: SRA

RATING: NC-17. M/Sk. This story contains slash i.e. m/m sex. So, if you don't like that type of thing – STOP NOW! Forewarned is forearmed. Proceed with caution. Of course if you have four arms you can throw caution to the wind.

SUMMARY: Seeing clearly in the black of night.

ARCHIVE: Anywhere as long as my name and addy stay attached.

FEEDBACK: Feedback? Well, yes, if you insist...

TIMESPAN/SPOILER WARNING: This is an AU, very vague spoilers for multiple episodes, nothing current.

KEYWORDS: story slash angst Skinner Mulder NC-17

DISCLAIMER: Fox Mulder, Walter Skinner, and all other X-Files characters belong to Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen Productions and 20th Century Fox Broadcasting. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit is being made from their use. I'd rather say that they really are mine, but I've been advised to deny everything.

Author's note: To my beta-girl … ain't this better than backgammon?

If you like this, there's more at https://www.squidge.org/3wstop

If you didn't like it, come see me, anyway. Pet the dog.

Choices Cost – Chapter 04 – Willie or Wonie

by Mik

I slept.

I wouldn't have thought it possible, given the circumstances, but somehow, I drifted off in a big, warm cloud of Skinner embrace. Ignored the cold, the dark, the foreign sounds, the dire situation and let myself float on odd, mildly disturbing, incredibly arousing clouds of thought. Questions like how would his body, his kiss feel were answered in glorious color and sound. How did his kiss feel? Just like his body; hot, hard and heavy. Why was I wondering? I couldn't tell you.

At some point, however, the thought/dreams/questions became too much for my subconscious and, almost against my will, I found myself struggling back into wakefulness. I wish I could have remained asleep. I had an almost painful erection, nesting against Skinner's thigh. I couldn't move. I couldn't shift, adjust myself or, most importantly, relieve the pressure. All I could do was sit there and do an inventory of my nocturnal pole - er - poll-taking. All I could do was smell him, feel him, practically taste him. I think, at some point, I might have moaned in my frustration.

I must have done something anyway, because I felt the slumbering giant stir beneath me. "It's okay, baby," he grumbled, making a faintly soothing gesture against my shoulder. "It will be over soon."

When my heart resumed a normal beat, I grinned to myself. Who had he ever called 'baby'? It was hard to picture stiff necked, tight assed, A.D. Skinner ever speaking words of love to another human being. Of course, it was hard to imagine stiff necked, tight assed A.D. Skinner in lumberjack drag and traipsing around in anything wilder than The National Zoo. I knew he had been married, and that his marriage ended without much more than a whimper after a fiasco with a call girl. But beyond that...

"Mulder," he grumbled again. "Be still."

I was still. Stock still. In dread. His tone was absolutely unchanged. Had I said or done something? I knew all my thoughts were right out of Manzlifedotcom but had I betrayed those thoughts in any way? Had I been talking in my sleep? Had I made some kind of inappropriate movement or caress? I risked shifting enough to tilt my head back in an effort to try and see his face.

Oh. What a face. Those sculpted lips turned up in a thoughtful frown. Those hot brown eyes were open. Even in the blackness of the moonless night, I could see the fire in them. Blazing into mine. Our mouths were only a breath away, and I was holding mine. Suddenly, that frigid air was electric. Something was going to happen. It had to happen.

I felt his hands move from my shoulders, and I waited for them to come around my throat. But they didn't. One hand came to the back of my neck and the other slipped up to hold my chin. "If you ever mention this to anyone," he said, and I felt more than heard the words, "I will claim I was delirious with pain." He kissed me.

Mayday! Mayday! Engines failing. Spiraling out of control. I squirmed around in his arms, trying to get back some of the oxygen he was sucking out of me. My bare arms ignored the chill of the night and wrapped around his neck like a life preserver. I felt myself humping against his thigh and making little noises that were certain to frighten wildlife, or at least make them laugh their furry little asses off.

Guess what...my dreams were wrong. His kiss was surprisingly soft. His lips were warm and supple. His tongue was velvety against mine. His passion was more in the way he held my face still so that he could swoop in, plunder and back away again. I could actually feel him tremble with restraint as he nipped, sucked and licked at my lips, chin, even the tip of my nose. I couldn't help wondering what he'd be like if he let loose. Determined to find out, I slid my hand up, over the soft fringe of hair and held him still as I worked myself upward, closer, deeper …

He pulled back. "Mulder."

I ignored him. "Yes, baby," I purred, hungrily. When had I ever called another human 'baby'?

"We are not going to do this."

"Do what?" I demanded mindlessly against his mouth. I was so close...so close.

"Mulder." His fingers moved and clenched around my shoulders. "Mulder." He pushed me back, forced me to meet his eyes. "It is not physically possible to have sex around a compound fracture."

Shit. I stilled. Pulled away, scolded, chagrined, ashamed. "Yes, Sir." I sat up and tugged at my jacket. "Sorry, Sir."

"Mulder." He reached for me, and his tone was almost conciliatory, but I danced out of his reach. "Mulder, come on."

My hands were flapping in front of me, trying to wave the entire episode away. "It's all right...it's - it's forgotten...my fault. It's okay." I avoided his eyes since they were all he could chase me with. "I don't know..." There I stood, still sporting what is known in medical terms as a woodus magna. "I don't know..." Started to pace away. "...how that...Sorry."

"Mulder."

One word, fired like a bullet. I went still again. "Yes, Sir."

Those dark eyes held me pinned against the truth. "Why did you come up here?"

Oh, no, not that again. I looked around, searching for an alternate topic, an escape route, the strength to wrestle with the truth. Nothing presented itself. There were no answers in dry rocks and stagnant water.

"Mulder." This time it sounded faintly prompting.

I got belligerent. "Because you told me -"

"Mulder." Now it was definitely lethal.

I swallowed, hard. "Because, Sir, I wanted to, Sir." Oh, shit...shades of high school and the infamous smoking in the bathroom scene. Anything more mortifying than trying to remain cool while being thoroughly chagrined for being caught?

And he wasn't satisfied with that confession. Oh, no. He wanted me to dig out my heart and hand it to him along with my entrails. "Why did you let me kiss you?"

I swallowed even harder. "Because, Sir..." Okay, Mulder, if you've got 'em, show 'em. I grinned a little, searching for an insolence I was far from feeling. "You're a helluva kisser...Sir."

He blushed. I could see it in the darkness. He clearly disliked being caught in a compliment so he shifted slightly so he could focus on the pain of his leg. "It was over the line, Agent," he said, gruffly. He looked down at the elaborately makeshift splint. "I'm sorry."

I came back to look down at him, staying just out of his reach. "Why did you bring me up here?" Recognizing just in time that my tone was out of line, I added, "Sir?"

He didn't look at me, but there was no reticence in his response. "Because I wanted to."

I felt a little ripple of something over my flesh; heat and chill and fingers of...excitement? "Why?"

He continued to look down at his leg, those awesome lips pursed. "Agent, we don't need to -"

"Why, Sir?" For the first time since he came to my door I had the upper hand. I wouldn't surrender it.

He still didn't hesitate. "Because it was the right thing for you," he said with conviction.

"What the hell does that mean?" I demanded impatiently. I suddenly suspected there was something he could tell me, and damn it, I wanted to hear it.

"You know what it means," he answered gruffly.

"No," I lied. "I don't. What does it mean?"

He lifted his head and stared out into the blackness. "It means you needed a new focus in your life."

"And coming out into the wilderness and nearly killing you was a good choice?" I shot back, wheeling away from him angrily. Give me a break, Skinner, and just admit it. I'm not the only one wanting to wake up singing 'Getting To Know You.'

Something quirked around those sculpted lips. "Well, nearly getting killed wasn't on the original agenda."

Oh, dear God … look at him, I thought, something clenching in my chest, in my belly. Barechested, ragged breath, huge brown eyes fixed on me, that merest hint of a winning smile. I was hooked, lost, helpless, vanquished. Ready to put my head on the chopping block. Ready to face a firing squad without cigarette or blindfold. Ready to fling myself headlong into a relationship that was foolhardy in the least and could be dangerous at the worst. And the very worst part … I didn't know if I would be welcomed when I did the flinging. But I was determined to be flung.

I came back close to him, dropping to my haunches, warming myself in his gaze. "What was the original agenda … Walter?"

Again he acted without the slightest moment of hesitation. He raised those two big paws of his and took my face between them, holding me gently, drawing me close enough to kiss me; a sweet, firm kiss filled with intent. He released me, his eyes sweeping over my flushed face. "I wasn't entirely sure, but I thought you felt something for me," he said, at length. He smiled again. "But I wanted to know."

I couldn't move. I continued to kneel there. "Do you know, now?" I breathed.

The pad of one thumb brushed over my cheek, infinitely gentle. "I think you do."

I leaned in again and returned his kiss, trying to match the sweetness. "I think you're right." I rocked back slowly, and felt the warmth and sweetness recede. "I don't understand it. I never thought I could want you - want anyone so much," I confessed.

His smile was at once tender and forgiving. "I understand. It's a frightening thing to open yourself up to someone. You're very vulnerable when you do."

 "Tell me about it," I agreed on a snort. "You had become an obsession for me, an addiction. Very unhealthy." Shit, Mulder. Waaaaaay wrong thing to say.

The smile faded and he looked down again. "And if you're not comfortable with that, I understand that too."

"Hey, whoa!" I protested. "Never play dangle and jerk with a man who has a gun in his sock. It could be dangerous."

He smirked at me. "Name one thing about you that isn't dangerous? A man can't even take a walk with you without meeting his deductible on the first date."

"Very funny, Mr. Valentino, Sir," I sneered. "Your idea of seduction is to freeze a man's balls off out in the middle of nowhere." My eyes skittered to his makeshift splint, and my heart constricted. "Walter, how are we going to get you to a hospital?"

It was like water rushing over him. I could actually see him recoil from an unpleasant reality. He thought for a moment and then looked upward. "The truck is northeast of us," he said, after consulting the stars. "In the morning you'll have to walk up and take the truck back down to the general store and use the phones."

I was looking up at the stars myself, wondering what the hell he saw that told him where we were. All I saw were millions of white dots behind the canopy of leaves. "Phones." I jerked. "Phones." I looked for his backpack and fumbled for a flashlight. He had a pretty lame flashlight for an AD; red plastic with a six inch battery well. And when I flipped it on, the beam was a pale, watery yellow. I missed my little, all purpose pencil thin mag light. I flicked it around and started moving.

"Mulder, where the hell are you going?" he barked as I started back over the stream bed.

"My phone is in my backpack," I called over my shoulder. "If I can find it, we can call someone right now. They can have a - oh, shit!" Tumbled face first over a tree root.

"Mulder?" I could hear the anxiety in his voice.

I rolled over with a groan. Well, I wanted to break my leg... 

- END chapter 04 -