TITLE: Mr. Mulder Makes Up His Mind

NAME: Mik

E-MAIL: ccmcdoc@hotmail.com

CATEGORY: SRA

RATING: NC-17. M/SK. This story contains slash i.e. m/m sex. So, if you don't like that type of thing - STOP NOW! Forewarned is forearmed. Proceed with caution.

SUMMARY: Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind … Shakespeare

FEEDBACK: Feedback? Well, yes, if you insist ... Flames? Send 'em to my brother, he's having a barbecue.

TIMESPAN/SPOILER WARNING: No thanks, against my religion.

KEYWORDS: story slash angst Skinner Mulder NC-17

DISCLAIMER: Fox Mulder, Walter Skinner, and all other X-Files characters belong to Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen Productions and 20th Century FOX Broadcasting. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit is being made from their use. I'd rather say that they really are mine, but I've been advised to deny everything. But, when I become king …

If you like this, there's more at https://www.squidge.org/3wstop/

If you didn't like it, come see me, anyway. Pet the dog.

Mr. Mulder Makes Up His Mind

by Mik

Indecisive. That’s what I’m being. I’ve never been indecisive about anything. In fact, I have a reputation for acting first and thinking (read regretting) later. But this …

Walter Skinner came into my apartment, my head, my bed. And now he wants into my life. My WHOLE life. No … he wants me to HAVE a life. He wants me to have a … a … I can’t even say the R word in my head now.

It’s ridiculous. It’s unthinkable. I don’t fall in love with men. I fuck them occasionally but I don’t fall in love with them. And I hadn’t even fucked one in quite a while.

All right, who do I love? My sister? Whoever … whatever she is, she doesn’t love me. Diana? Oooh, don’t go there. Scully? Oh, Scully. I don’t just love her, I … I don’t. I idolize her. I put her up on a pedestal a long time ago, and she is unable or unwilling to come down. Frankly, I don’t mind. She belongs up there. She’s … she’s safe up there.

Safe. That’s what I always look for. Secret. Safe. No challenge, no danger. No injury, no revelation, no obligation. Well, he’s not safe. Hell, he’s my boss.

Stop pacing. I heard him growl that at me earlier tonight and I swear the sound went straight to my balls. Even now I can feel his mouth on me. I can feel his eyes on me. I can feel his body on me.

Water. Get some water, now.

All right, think. What does he want? I’m not sure. He didn’t spell it out. But, I think it involves a little bit more than being his fuck buddy. He’s sentimental. All right. So am I. Who would have thought … but I am. I missed him when he left. I felt … empty.

What do I want?

Water. I want more water.

He gave me a choice. He told me to set my priorities. He wants me but he’s letting me decide.

Wait a minute. Rewind. He … wants … me … He wants ME!

I’m pacing again. Why can’t I just sit still and review the facts? That’s it, look at this clinically, review the evidence. Item: Walter Skinner expressed sexual interest in me. Item: Walter Skinner had a sexual experience with me. Item: It was fucking unbelievable. That man has a body like …

Water. I need more water.

Where was I? Walter’s desire for sexual experience. Right. He wanted it, we did it, it was good. And then he stayed the night. And then he wanted it again, and it was even better. And then he got us lunch. And then … three times in twenty fours … I think that’s a record for me.

Where is that damn bottle?

Calm down. Get a grip. You’re letting hormones overrun brain cells. Heh heh, you said grip.

He wants a Re … an affair?

Can’t be done. And yet … now that I’ve had him, how do I give him up?

And when did I turn into Tevye, from Fiddler on the Roof?

It’s a simple choice. Him or not him. Go back to what I had, which is nothing, with the people I had it with, which is no one. But, I could look Scully in the eyes every morning, and not feel ashamed.

Ashamed? Why should I be ashamed? He wanted me. He chose me. This big, good looking, intelligent, mean mother … he chose me. And if Scully doesn’t like it … then she’s not the friend I thought she was.

I need another bottle of water.

All right … what was the question?

I can still feel his touch. He can be pretty tender for a grizzly bear. And being held against him … bigger, warmer, stronger … I don’t think I’ve ever experienced that before. And what he did to me, the way he touched me, the way he took over me. He didn’t ask questions, he didn’t want explanations, he didn’t need to blame. How can I give that up?

Okay, Dr. Scully. What would you do?

What would she do? She’d whip out the Bureau Employee Handbook and cite me chapter and verse on fraternization. Comes right after dress code and right before holidays. You will wear a tie and you won’t boff your boss on, before or after any federally recognized holiday.

Okay, Dr. Mulder. What do you do?

You go to the bathroom and get rid of some of this water.

His hand … sliding over my cock, thumbing the head, stroking the shaft. He seemed so amazed by it, as if he’d never seen one before. But he had. Unless he’s never casually glanced downward and taken a gander at that M-16 assault weapon riding between his legs.

That right there is a something to consider. Some day, at some point in this Re … association, he’s going to want to fire that weapon in my direction. Am I prepared to bend over and take that monster? Um … let’s see. My ass just clenched and my knees got wobbly. I’ll take that as a yes.

Will you please just focus for a minute, Mulder?

What does it come down to? Scully or Skinner. My reputation or my … happiness? The straight and narrow on my own or the meandering path with Walter? Loneliness or a Re … romance? Yes. Or no.

Skinner wants me. If Scully’s my friend, she’ll understand. My reputation was shot to hell years ago. I’ve never been happy. Loneliness or a big ol’ bear to snuggle up with? Well … gee, that was a hard one. Yes? No?

All those in favor of Mulder having a … a … relationship … raise my hand.

Where’s my phone?

"Skinner."

"Mulder."

"Yes, Mulder?"

"Yes, Skinner."

 And now Mr. Mulder Makes His Exit.

-THE END-