Fugue for the Forgotten - Part 2

XxX 

MONDAY JANUARY 19, APPROXIMATELY 10 AM 

Mulder walked down to the basement office after having seen Skinner, his steps slow. He was somewhat buoyed by Skinners' order to open an X-File on Cancer Man. The A. D.'s tacit approval for Mulder to take whatever means necessary to deal with the black-hearted monster cheered him just a bit. But he was still half in shock from the mornings events. He couldn't believe that bastard had been in their office. And he certainly couldn't believe what Scully had told him the prick had said. 

<I heard him too, though, the sick fuck. Jesus! Took my sperm? Used it to, to...My God, that's too much.> It had to be a lie. He was just sticking it to Scully, to them both. <Of course he'd tell her something like that to make her hate herself, and blame herself for not protecting me as well. It would have been just like the overweening shit to throw a lie like that up at her.> The Smoker probably had to stick the knife in and twist it because he regretted giving Mulder the second implant that sent the cancer into remission and spared Scully's life. He was just enough of a sick dickhead to regret that slip of his conscious. 

Mulder reached the closed office door. Scully wasn't back yet. He sighed, took out his keys, and opened the door. The damage from his outburst still faced him all over the room. He stared at the disarray and a vision of Scully pummeling the prostrate form of their mutual nemesis came instantly to mind. 

"I should have shot that rat bastard right between the eyes," Mulder hissed through clenched teeth. 

But how could he possibly trust what the bastard had said? And how could Scully have trusted it? She had to realize it was a lie. A fabrication to hurt her, to possibly drive a wedge between them, to ruin their work, a route to their ultimate destruction and the dissolution of the X-Files. That was the truth. The nicotine soaked son of a bitch would lie, cheat, steal and murder to accomplish that goal. He had done it before and he would do it again and again. 

Mulder began to walk around the office, picking up the trash can first and then the other objects he had thrown from his desk. He bent and lifted his lamp from the floor. The bulb was shattered and there was broken glass underneath where it had come to rest. He began to pick up the shards. His fingers slipped and he cut his thumb, the blood welled up in the sliced flesh. 

"Fuck, par for the course," he cursed, taking his handkerchief out of his pocket to staunch the red flow. He finished clearing up the glass. When he was done he swabbed at his thumb a bit more and then he placed his desks contents back in a semblance of order. Finally he sat down behind the desk. He rocked back in his chair and stared off into space. He glanced at the slight indentation where his fist had impacted against the wall.

<God, I should have broken my hand against the wall. It would have hurt me a lot less than I just hurt Scully. How could I have yelled at her that way? I grabbed her by the arm and...God that had been cruel.> He hadn't trusted her. He hadn't believed her. She had struggled to believe him so many times in the past. Now, when push came to shove he had shouted his disbelief right into her tear stained face. Even though he didn't trust what the cigarette smoking man had told her he could have handled it all a hell of a lot better than he did. <You blew it dickwad. She put her faith and trust in me, expected me to support her in this as well and I threw that trust back in her face.> 

"What a friend I am," he thought dismally. "Could this be any further from what Skinner had meant by support for Scully? She should shoot me again - some support I offered her," he cursed himself, "maybe Skinner should hang ME up by MY balls." He put his cut thumb up to his mouth and sucked on the blood that still oozed from it. 

But he couldn't tell her he thought it was true when he knew it was a lie. That wouldn't have been fair either. It was an obvious cruel lie, a horrible, perverted lie from a man who would more than likely murder his own mother and then light up a fucking Morley over her cold, dead body.

But Mulder furrowed his brow then because a niggling thought passed across his mind, a very disturbing thought, <If it was a lie though, what made Scully so positive it was the truth? And if she was remembering, what did she know about her abduction that she hadn't told him? And why didn't she trust him enough to tell him, tell him what? - The real truth?>  

"Mulder?" a tentative voice from the doorway interrupted his depressing reverie. 

Mulder jumped slightly, "Scully, are, are you all right? Where did you go?" he asked looking at her.

"I went to see Karen Koseff," Scully replied quietly. She crossed over to his desk and stood in front of it looking down into his face. "He looks haunted," Scully thought, worry creased her forehead. <God, if Karen's right, I have to convince him about the dreams. He's got to know especially if remembering his role in the child's creation could be dangerous for him.> 

"Karen? Why did you drag Karen into this?" Mulder replied, strain in his voice. 

"Why bring an outsider into our affairs," he thought in annoyance. In the back of his mind he thought, "Mulder, go slow, rein in, you're going to blow it again," but for some formless reason he felt anger growing in his chest. His last questions, <If it's a lie, what made Scully so positive it was the truth? and why didn't she trust him?> came back to him instantly. 

"I'm not dragging her into anything, Mulder, I had to talk to someone, someone who would help me work through what just happened. I need help to work through what I believe is the truth regarding my abduction." 

"And I wasn't a good choice to help you examine that truth?" Mulder asked, his eyes hooded. 

"Mulder, obviously not. Your actions and words were proof enough that you don't believe me," Scully sighed. 

Mulder set iron control into his voice and tried once more to convince Scully of the heinous lie she had just heard, "Scully, it's not that I don't believe you. I trust you, you know that. I just don't believe that low life piece of pond scum that was floating around in here earlier, that's all. I know you were abducted I mean, that much is obvious for God's sake. But as for the rest of it - Scully I saw your ova. I was told all about the procedure for harvesting them. You know that - you were angry with me because I didn't tell you I knew about it.

Emily was a product of those stolen ova and alien DNA - an alien human hybrid. And don't forget, the DNA testing confirmed she was your child, she looked just like your sister for Christ's sake. She wasn't, she couldn't have been our child. Can't you see?" 

"All that proves is she looked like my side of the family, Mulder! That says nothing about who her father was." 

Mulder pretended to ignore her remark. "The Cancer Man is the master of misinformation. He'll tell you any lie to confuse you, to hurt you, to destroy everything we...." 

"But I believed him, Mulder." 

Mulder stopped dead in his recitation of the facts as he saw them. He looked into Scully's eyes and saw the total futility of continuing to convince her. He knew that look in her eyes. She had made up her mind. She did believe, and nothing he said was going to sway her. His heart sank and the anger rose up completely into his chest to replace it. 

"Fine," Mulder grated, looking away from her. He began to suck on his cut finger again. 

Scully noticed the blood and she walked around the side of his desk. She reached for his hand and took it in hers. She examined his thumb.  

"Glass from the lamp's light bulb," he said coldly giving her no explanation of his earlier outburst. He pulled his hand away. She stared longer, noticing the skinned knuckles as well. 

"Mulder, please, listen, all right. I have to tell you what I think is going on. You have to listen because it may be vital that you do," Scully whispered urgently. Mulder still wouldn't look at her. 

"Mulder, damn it, look at me," she snapped. Mulder swiveled his chair around abruptly and Scully had to jump back quickly before his legs knocked her down. 

"All right, Scully, I'm listening, tell me all about why you think that black suited bastard could possibly be telling the truth," he hissed into her startled eyes. 

She tried to recover her composure. She didn't know what to do with her hands or her body. She wanted to touch him, to reestablish their earlier close connection, to explain to him gently why she thought he needed to believe. It was for his own safety. But instead she began to become annoyed at the look of anger in his face, and the tone of his voice. She turned and walked back over to her side of the room putting physical distance between them to match the philosophical distance she suddenly felt. 

Mulder crossed his arms over his chest and sat waiting. Scully walked over to her desk and sat down. She rubbed her eyes and began to speak as calmly as she could. There was a quaver in her voice and she cursed herself for the sound of it. 

Mulder watched her walk back to her desk. His entire body was telling him to believe her, to go to her, to comfort her. But his mind was saying something all together different. He was beginning to think that Scully had been keeping part of the story back from him, withholding a vital piece of what had been going on in her head. She'd been hiding her innermost thoughts and fears from him all the while he had been trying to help her <while he was kissing...holding her...loving her...>. And if he was right in this assumption then the betrayal of his trust, of their trust was almost too much to bear. 

Scully was talking and she looked down at her hands as Mulder stared at her, "Mulder, I've been having a recurring dream since we got back from San Diego. I've had it so often I'm almost afraid to fall asleep at night. In this dream I've seen Emily. But along with Emily I've also seen another little girl. The two of them are always together. Sometimes they're playing and sometimes they're just sitting or standing in front of me, hand in hand." 

She glanced up towards Mulder. He was still staring, his face impassive, almost mask-like. Scully had seen this control in him before and it's blankness frightened her. She looked down again and plunged on, however, wanting to get it all off her chest. "The other little girl is dark, Mulder, as dark as Emily was fair. She, she has brown curls and your beautiful hazel eyes. She looks a lot like you Mulder, but mostly she looks - well, she looks a lot like a cross between Emily, me and your sister, Samantha." 

There was a creaking of the chair across the room. She looked up again and Mulder was rocking slightly back and forth. 

"Is that all?" he asked flatly. 

"No, it's not all. I kept having that dream and then last night, when I kissed you," she said in a small voice, "I dreamt about Duane Barry and my abduction. Mulder, I swear to God, that what I said, what the smoking man said is true. I'm remembering. They took my ova and then they used your harvested sperm to make a child, our child, maybe children and..." she let her voice trail off because Mulder was on his feet. 

"You swear to God? What a hypocrite you are!" he yelled. Mulder pulled the cross out of his shirt and stretched it out full length on it's chain. Here's your God, Scully! You've given your faith to me remember? And now I see that you don't even have enough faith to trust me with anything, do you?" 

"Mulder, I..." 

"You what? You've been going through all this for weeks and you haven't trusted me enough to let me help you through it? I mean if you were so positive it was the truth couldn't you have at least given me a chance to believe you? After last night, when we, when...when I held you in my arms - Oh, shit - you just couldn't let me in could you? Or was that kiss some kind of distraction, so I wouldn't catch on that you were dying inside?" Mulder had crossed the room and stood in front of her desk now, towering in his rage. His neck muscles convulsed and he was struggling for control. 

Scully was gasping in horror at his words, "What have I done?" she thought. She tried to salvage the situation, tears were springing into her eyes again. 

"Mulder, I wasn't really positive. It was all so disjointed. I wasn't positive until today, when the smoking man...." 

"Oh, that's wonderful Scully. You weren't positive until that God damned, fucking Prince of Lies came down here to validate all this crap for you? Are you serious?" he laughed bitterly. 

Scully's face turned red. Now she was totally angry as well. She stood up at her desk and balled her fists, "Yes, I'm serious!" she shouted, "And you'd better get serious too, because if you don't take me seriously it may kill us both." 

"What?" he asked in amazement, "What the hell do you mean by that remark?" 

"Karen said that you more than likely have a repressed memory regarding the, the sperm harvesting. She said she wants to talk to you about it right away because if you start to remember suddenly without some guidance it could be very dangerous, even deadly for you," she sputtered. And then she looked down again and said very quietly, "And if anything happened to you, Mulder, if you died...I'd...." 

"Fuck this!" Mulder swore, "You and Karen Koseff can go to hell. Tell Karen I don't need her help to believe a lie. I'm obviously quite capable of doing that all on my own." Mulder tried to lower his voice but didn't quite succeed, "Look, Scully, this conversation isn't doing either of us any good. I...I'm going home all right? If you want any more of my HELP, you have my cell phone number," he finished sarcastically and then he turned on his heel, went back to his desk for his coat, and left the basement office. 

Scully watched his receding back, tears streaming down her face. 

XxX 

Scully slumped onto her office chair. She dropped her face into her hands and sobbed. "Bastard!" she cried to the empty room. She was scared and angry and depressed. She had feared Mulder would react badly, but not this badly. She felt helpless. 

She was shocked. He'd actually called her a hypocrite. <That's what you are isn't it, Dana? You swore to a God you claim to no longer believe it. Or have you taken to believing in him when it serves you now?> Hot tears burned her cheeks. She knew Mulder had said the words in anger, but it still hurt. She supposed he had a right to be angry with her. She had been withholding information from him, but what could she tell him? She was having these crazy dreams she couldn't make sense of? 

"What can I do?" she wondered. He refused to believe anything she said. His famous paranoia was leading him into danger and not away from it. The fact would be ironic if it didn't happen to him all the time. He launched himself off and she had to go diving in after him. But she was so weak and so tired. Every part of her body felt so drained. And in this weak and drained state she was now supposed to rush off and come to his rescue again. She fought the bitterness, but the anger just came out. 

"Fuck you, Mulder. Fuck you for doing this to me...to us." 

All of this was too much. It was bad enough she hadn't had a decent night's sleep, then she has a physical confrontation with the black-lunged bastard and now she'd just argued with Mulder. "What next?" she asked what she thought was an empty room. 

"Agent Scully?" 

She whirled around in her chair to see Karen Koseff standing in the doorway. She was glad it was dark enough in the office that Koseff wouldn't really be able to see her face. She grabbed a tissue from her desk and blotted her eyes. She quickly stuffed the tissue into her pocket and turned around. 

"Dr. Koseff?" 

"Yes Dana. The more I thought about our conversation I decided you might need some help convincing Agent Mulder to talk to me. I came down to talk with him."  

"Oh," Scully replied, the defeat evident in her voice. "He left. You're right though, he refuses to believe me. I'm not sure what I'm going to do now." 

Koseff crossed the room and stood before Scully's desk. The light from the doorway illuminated the doctor's features and Scully could see the worry playing across her face. 

"Agent Scully, Agent Mulder could be suffering from a fugue. Are you familiar with the phenomena?" 

"You mean he appears to be aware of what he's doing but really isn't?" 

"He may have repressed the memory of what happened to him, he went in the fugue when the harvest took place, but now he's not remembering...just like with your own experiences. Yours came back to you in dreams but they could have just as easily come back to you in a flashback...that would be far more dangerous." 

"You said that before about a flashback being dangerous. Just what do you mean, Karen?" Scully asked. 

"Well, let me try to explain further, Dana," Karen replied clearing her throat slightly, "Agent Mulder has repressed things before, the abduction of his sister for one. I know he under went hypno-regression therapy to regain the memories, but that was because he wanted too. 

From what you've told me, he doesn't want to remember this. But the amount of stress he's under could cause it to come back violently. If he has a violent flashback he could injure himself severely. For example, if he fell he might severe an artery and bleed to death. I've even known of instances where the individual vomitted during the flasback and choked to death. Some fugue victims just disappear. Given Agent Mulder's profile, I fear he's at high risk for such behavior." 

"How do you know all this?" Scully asked rigidly. 

"Agent Scully, I am the psychologist for the VCS and you and Agent Mulder are, for administrative purposes, tacked on to that unit. I have access to everyone in the department's profiles. You should know that. I wouldn't even be discussing this with you if I didn't think Agent Mulder was in danger." 

Scully nodded. She dimly wondered if she was becoming as paranoid as Mulder. She was immediately not trusting Koseff, even though the doctor had given Scully no reason to mistrust her. The words, "Trust no one," rumbled through her head and she frowned. But she WAS worried about Mulder and she could sense Koseff was genuinely worried as well. She sighed heavily. 

"Dr. Koseff...Karen. Thank you for coming down here. I appreciate what you were trying to do, but Mulder doesn't trust...well he rarely trusts anyone or anything. I understand what you're saying about the danger he's in but I think I may be the only person who can reach him and I'm even doubting that at the moment. What do I need to do to help him through this?" 

"You won't get anywhere until he's able to accept the fact something has happened to him. But in the meantime, if he's as hostile about this as you say he is, you need to keep an eye on him. If he should start to have a flashback, you need to talk to him as calmly as possible. Don't endanger yourself, if he becomes violent you may have to sedate him but try to avoid that. Try to talk him down, make him comfortable. Then once he's through it, try to convince him he needs to see a counselor. No one should go through a repressed memory like that without the benefit of a counselor." 

"I'll see what I can do." 

Koseff nodded, "Good luck." She walked out of the office, leaving Scully in the dark. Scully stood and paced about the office. She had to gather her thoughts. She'd really bungled things with Mulder earlier. Why was it they could be so in sync with some things yet completely on different planets about others? She shuddered as she thought about how angry he'd been. 

She looked to the floor and saw a few shards of glass from the broken light bulb, then she noticed the dent in the wall and the one in the trash can. He'd had a violent outburst in her absence. She remembered his cut thumb. Koseff was right, Mulder was in danger. 

His violent refusal to listen to anything she said bothered her too, and even before that, he'd been so angry with her after her confrontation with the Cancer Man. Why?  

As she replayed their argument in her head something occurred to her. 

"Tell Karen I don't need her help to believe a lie. I'm obviously quite capable of doing that all on my own." 

Mulder's words filled her head. They'd been said in anger but her logical mind, the side of her that always heard things Mulder didn't, caught the thread. He'd slipped. In his mind he'd meant something else, but the true meaning of those words was that he knew. Deep down, he knew what had happened to him. He was simply refusing to believe it. She couldn't be sure why, however. 

She grabbed her purse and jacket and walked out the door, taking care to lock it on her way out. She stopped in the ladies room to clean her face up a bit. She took a deep breath and pushed on. She had no idea where Mulder was going. But the idea of Mulder some how injuring himself was far too frightening for her to fathom. She had to find him. 

Scully pulled her cell phone from her purse and dialed his number, after ten rings she hung up in disgust. She made her way to the parking lot and noted that his car was still there. She walked over and looked inside, but it was obvious he'd not been to the vehicle since he'd parked it this morning. 

XxX 

11:15 AM, METRO BLUE LINE TRAIN TOWARDS KING ST. 

Mulder screwed his eyes shut and let the rhythmic clacking beneath him drown out his thoughts. At least the darkness inside the subway mirrored those thoughts. His hands were shaking badly and he balled them into fists at his sides. He was thankful there were few people on the train with him. 

He had practically sprinted to the subway station to get away from the office, get away from Scully and everything else that was tormenting him. He decided to take the train because he was too upset to drive. He was a little surprised he even had the presence of mind to take such a precaution. 

He absent mindedly bit down on his lip. A metallic taste touched his tongue and he realized he'd bitten his lip open. Anger, he had to forget about that. "You have to calm down, Mulder," he told himself quietly. 

The train whirred on and Mulder stared out its window into the blackness. He wished it would envelop him so he wouldn't hurt anymore. Perhaps it already had. He replayed the whole ugly scene with Scully over in his head. He cursed himself, "How is it you manage to fuck everything up, Mulder." 

His invective brought a harsh stare from an elderly woman sitting a few seats away from him. The train broke out of the tunnel and made its way onto the above ground tracks. Mulder squinted in the light as an idea began to form in his head. 

He left the train at the King Street station in Alexandria. He didn't have far to walk home, but he decided to wander the streets of Old Town awhile. His brain had begun to work on something and he wanted to wander and let it fester awhile longer. 

XxX 

4:45 PM, DANA SCULLY RESIDENCE 

"FUCK! Where are you?" 

Scully violently pushed the cancel button on her cell phone. She was decidely unhappy Mulder had managed to forget to turn his phone on. She dialed his home phone and got no answer as well. She'd been looking all over for him the entire afternoon. 

She'd been to dozens of his favorite places in the District and even visted the Lone Gunmen. They were genuinely concerned and so Scully was convinced they weren't hiding him from her. She'd even stopped by his apartment a little over an hour ago and he wasn't there. 

Scully scrubbed her face with her hands and got up off her couch. She paced back in forth in front of it trying to figure out where he might have gone. She picked up the phone and dialed Dr. Werber's office but his machine announced the office was closed for the week. "Nice work if you can get it," Scully muttered sarcastically. 

She tossed her cell phone back into her purse and picked up her keys again. She checked her answering machine once more before leaving. The red indicator light wasn't blinking, no messages. She sighed heavily and walked out the door. 

Her sturdy gait carried her swiftly to her car as she decided to take another stab at Mulder's apartment. 

XxX 

MONDAY JANUARY 19, 6 PM FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT 

Mulder paced the dark apartment like a caged leopard. His mind was in complete and utter turmoil. He cursed the world, he cursed the X-Files, he cursed Cancer Man, he even cursed Scully. But at the end, he cursed only himself for everything that had occurred earlier in the day. 

He was close to tears again and he knew that he was close to going over the edge into something even worse than a case of the waterworks. He was near a descent into madness and he almost welcomed it. "If I'm committed to the nut hatch at least I can't hurt her again," he screamed inwardly at his actions with Scully that afternoon. 

<But why had she done it? Why didn't she trust me. I love her, I...> But of course she didn't know about his love and she didn't share the feelings anyway. He tried to push it all out of his mind but as he pushed his feelings aside another horrid thought sprung up to take their place. 

"What if Scully had been right?" Mulder thought. He knew he still had so many repressed memories regarding his sister Samantha. Dr. Werber's regression had only scratched the surface of the truth behind her abduction. Mulder would do almost anything to find out more about Samantha. He had even gone so far as to have a *mad scientist* pump him full of hallucinogens and then drill a hole in his skull to *release his demons*. 

"Why wouldn't Scully be right? What if Cancer Man had been telling the truth? It would be just like that creep to admit a fact thinking I'd believe it a lie," he thought. "Wouldn't that be fun for him? He'd get endless pleasure watching Scully and me inflict damage on each other like we so obligingly did this afternoon. He'd get off on watching us suffer," he railed silently, <Why couldn't I have another suppressed memory. Oh, God, what if she was right? What have I done to her if she was....Oh Jesus!> he began to cry again, weakly and pathetically. 

He sat down miserably on his couch. <I have to get a grip, here. I have to come up with a plan to get at the truth...I...> He stopped his mental harangue instantly as his eyes were drawn to the top of his TV set. There was video tape resting there and the title caught his eye. The tape was *Spellbound* a film by Alfred Hitchcock. The idea that had been circulating in his head all day finally took form. He gently fingered Scully's cross on it's chain around his neck. 

7 PM - OUTSIDE FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT 

Dana Scully dashed up the hall towards Mulder's apartment door in a panic. She had tried to call him again several times on his cell phone but there had been no answer. She even tried his home phone number again. There had been no answer there either. His answering machine had been turned off as well. 

Scully pulled out her key ring and groped for the one that was Mulder's as she quickened her pace. She skidded to a halt in front of his door and plunged the key into the knob, twisting it the wrong way at first in her haste. Just as she felt the lock disengage she heard a low moan come from behind the door. Her eyes grew wide and she slammed the key into the dead bolt lock simultaneously snatching her gun from it's holster on her hip. 

She stepped back and cautiously pushed the door open. It was dark inside but she stepped in, weapon up and ready, and shut the door. 

"Mulder?" she whispered hoarsely, squinting into the apartment. There seemed to be one tiny lamp on near Mulder's couch. She could just make out his legs stretched out ahead of his body. He was sitting on the couch. Another low moan came from that direction. All the hair on the back of Scully's neck stood on end. 

"I see the conning tower, Oh Jesus, it is a sub!" he whispered in wonder, and then "Oh God, it's so cccccold," Mulder groaned. Scully tip toed forward. A quick sweep of the apartment told her what she all ready instinctively knew - no one was there but the two of them. She holstered her weapon. She walked over to Mulder's seated form, her mouth open slightly to speak. But what she saw stopped her voice dead in her throat. 

Mulder was seated on the far end of the couch, the one nearest his desk by the window. The small lamp that usually sat on his desk was set before him, an extension cord running to the socket under the desk. That lamp illuminated his legs and cast eerie shadows over his face. Mulder's head was thrown back against the back of the couch. His mouth was open, he was breathing heavily and his eyes were closed. 

Mulder was still dressed in his slacks from work, but he was barefoot, and wearing only his t-shirt. His legs were outstretched ahead of him and his hands rested on his thighs. He cupped Scully's cross in his hands, as if he'd been holding it out into the pool of light from the lamp which sat before him on the coffee table. 

Scully drew close and quietly sat down on the edge of the couch farthest from him. She spotted Mulder's pocket tape recorder on the couch cushions. The recorder was nestled close to Mulder's thigh. She could just see the mini tape inside. It was gently spinning, mechanically recording Mulder's every word. "Oh my God," she thought, "What is he doing? What has he done?" 

"Oh Jesus," Mulder whispered suddenly and his body jerked. 

"Mulder, what is it?" Scully asked quietly. She decided immediately to try Karen's advice. She would talk to him in a calm voice. She'd try to help him, to bring him gradually out of whatever hell he was in. 

<Whatever hell he had put himself in,> she suddenly realized. "How could he be so stupid," she thought, "he's trying to regress himself, or he's done self-hypnosis or, shit, Karen never thought of this I bet...My God why?" she cried mentally, "Why? - for me, that's why," jolted into her mind. 

"It, it's not, he's not who he said he was, he's, Mother of God, he's changing, morphing.." Mulder's voice shook. 

"Mulder, who's changing, into what?" 

"The assassin, he's hereeeee," Mulder cried out, twisting on the couch as if to escape. Scully wanted to touch him but she didn't dare. She was afraid that if she woke him suddenly it would make it worse, maybe kill him. 

"Get away from me you fuck, OH God, he's he's got that thing, that mechanical thing, the weapon - that pig sticker!" he groaned. His entire body bucked up off the couch. He dropped the cross onto the floor. 

"You tell me you motherfucker! Tell me where she is, where is my sister? You God damned alien son of a bitch - Don't leave me here to wonder for the rest of my life. Please, have mercy on me, have...! TELL ME OR KILL ME, TELL ME OR KILL ME, TELL..." his voice was cut off abruptly and his body fell back on the couch with a thwack. 

Scully's hands went up to her mouth to stifle a scream. She couldn't lose it now though, she thought, she had to keep her head. She leaned forward slightly and spoke as gently as she could. 

"Mulder, it's all right, you, they got you to the hospital at the base. You're going to be fine." 

"Sculleeee?" his voice moaned again. "I, I was so cold and it was ddddark," he stuttered pathetically. His arms came up around his chest and he rubbed them as if he were cold. Then he snapped over convulsively, "Oh, God, I feel sick," he made retching noises but they were over as quickly as they started. He straightened back up, resting his head once again on the back of the couch. Then, a different look came over his face. The expressions of confusion and horror that had been there up to that point were gone. In their place was an expression of utter happiness, of total peace. 

"Sculleee, God, I, it's so good to see you. I thought I'd never see you again. Yeah, I, I didn't think I was going to make it...Wwwhat? Jesus, you what? Scully, I, I never thought....Oh, Scully..." he said in a quiet voice tinged with awe and passion. 

Scully watched Mulder closely and a feeling of dread crossed her heart. She studied his face and as she watched, his eyes snapped open, and although they were open she knew he wasn't seeing the apartment around him. Mulder's glazed eyes were turned inward, and he was having a blissful, very personal vision all his own. 

"Scully, I...I don't know what to say," he whispered holding his hand up slightly. "I...yes, for years, I've loved you too - for years..." his breath came out in a shuddering gasp. His lips formed a wide, wonderful smile. 

Scully bent her head down and looked at her hands. They were shaking. <God, I should wake him up, I should...> She felt guilt wash over her for hearing this. Guilt and confusion. Why was he seeing this? Her eyes flicked up to his and she moved a hand to shake him but then stopped. He was beautiful in that moment and she couldn't move or take her eyes away. 

"Oh, God, Scully, yes! I...please, I want, OH GOD..." he groaned in his throat, and then the hands that had held her cross only moments earlier tentatively touched his crotch. Mulder started to move his hips slightly in an unmistakable rhythm, "Oh Scully, Oh Jesus. Dana. Oh God, I love you," he cried out as he stroked his hardening penis through his slacks. 

Scully was aghast. She stared in dawning disgust and outrage at what her partner was being made to do, and the entire proof of everything she believed came crashing down on her head all at once. <That bastard, that God forsaken, smoking son of a bitch, I'll kill him next time, I'll...> 

Mulder's moans of pleasure stopped suddenly. He removed his hands from his crotch. He raised one hand up and passed it over his eyes. The other hand flexed and spasmed on his stomach. "Scully?" he asked, fear returning to his voice, "Whattttt, no, you're not, Oh Jesus, where's Scully? What, what...." he voice was rising and he started to thrash about again. His arms flailed out and down. He knocked the pocket tape recorder to the floor. It smashed into several pieces. Tape unreeled from the cassette. Mulder howled in absolute terror. 

"YOU'RE NOT SCULLY!" 

Scully jumped forward instantly and grabbed his arm. "Mulder, come back, wake up, it IS me, it IS me," she yelled. 

His whole face convulsed in anguish and then he screamed out one last time as he focused on her face, "IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S MARITA!" 

MONDAY JANUARY 19, APPROXIMATELY 9 PM - FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT 

Scully sat at the end of the couch and held Mulder's head in her lap. She stroked his hair. Mulder was curled up in a fetal position. 

"Mulder, I...I still can't believe you tried this stunt. For God's sake, you could have died on this couch." 

Mulder sighed, replying in a muffled voice, "Scully, I just had to know, all right? I got back here and I started thinking about the utter shithead I had been earlier and well, fuck it, I thought maybe your version of things was true. I owed it to you to try to explore the possibility that I did have a repressed memory." 

"But self hypnosis - using my cross and that lamp - God, that was so dangerous." 

"Yeah, well it worked for Gregory Peck," he grinned weakly, gesturing with his head towards the video tape on top of the TV. His head rubbed lightly across Scully's legs. She liked the sensation. 

"Well, Mulder, Gregory Peck had Ingrid Bergman to help him you..." 

"I had you Scully," he whispered, a note of appreciation tinged with compassion in his voice. He sat up and looked her in the eyes. Scully cringed slightly at the double entendre in his words. 

Mulder misinterpreted her cringe, "Scully I'm so sorry for the way I acted earlier. I, I don't know why I said those things. Maybe I have been living in some kind of fugue state for a long time, just like Karen Kosseff's theory. Can you forgive me?" The last was said in a very small voice as Mulder searched her face, his eyes incredibly sad. 

"Mulder, there's nothing to forgive. I...I know you didn't mean what you said in the office. And anyway, the important thing is, you remember now and so do I." 

"Scully, what did I say?" Mulder asked suddenly, "You're going to have to help me out here. With no tape of this, this thing - I'm stuck. I mean you've explained what Karen said might happen, and how you found me. But what exactly did I say? I know I told you I remembered some of the incident. I remember the bounty hunter and the sub, of course. That shit happened before I got sick with the retrovirus. I can remember a lot of the stuff in the hospital, now as well - especially the fact that it was Marita Covarrubias standing there with a vial of my semen. But, I can't, I mean how the hell did she get the sample?" 

Scully looked at him and then she looked away and down. She spotted her cross on the floor next to the couch. Neither one of them had thought to pick it up. She leaned over, grabbing the glinting chain. Scully brought the cross back up and unclasped the chain. She gently lifted it over Mulder's head and placed it onto his neck again. She had to bend forward to reclasp the chain. Mulder's face was very close. She looked into his eyes. She released the chain and touched his cheek. 

Mulder still studied her face, his mouth was partially open as if he was going to ask her the same question again. Scully shifted away and dropped her hands. She placed both hands in her lap, and then she started to offer up yet another lie to her trusted friend, the man who was obviously deeply in love with her. 

"Mulder, you didn't really elaborate on that point. I wish I had been more watchful - more observant. I still feel I could have prevented what she did if I'd protected you better." 

"Scully, don't sweat it all right, that woman is obviously capable of anything. I just can't really remember what she..." 

"Mulder, I'm assuming from some of your actions that she went about it the way someone, even a man himself, would normally obtain a semen sample for let's say artificial insemination or for frozen semen donation." 

"You mean she jerked me off?" 

"Yes, that about sums it up," Scully looked over at him wincing slightly. 

"Crap," he hissed. 

She gestured with her hand in an aimless way. She felt guilt over the lie, but it was close enough to the truth to not hurt too much. She thought the truth would have hurt him a hell of a lot more. 

"Well, I guess that's something Ingrid Bergman wouldn't have thought of doing for Gregory Peck, hey Scully?" he grinned at her slightly, trying to make light of the situation. 

Scully allowed a small smile to cross her lips. It was so typical of him, she thought. Here he is having just lived through one of the most harrowing experiences of his life and he was trying to make her smile. Her heart nearly broke. She reached around and took one of his hands. He gripped hers tightly. 

"Mulder, what are we going to do now?" she asked in a move to change the subject away from what she was starting to feel for him again. 

"I...I think we need to explore the possibility now that you have, that we may have a child somewhere out there." Mulder's voice suddenly caught in his throat. He continued on even more quietly because another horrible thought had entered his mind, "Damn it, we may have had a child all ready. What if Emily was our daugther as well, Scully? Oh, God, I shouldn't have...I didn't mean to...Oh, Scully, please I'm sorry..." 

"It's all right, Mulder," Scully replied, fatigue making her voice crack. She reached over and brushed the hair out of Mulder's eyes, "That's something we'll just have to face if it's true. We'll just have to cope with the memories..." 

"Well, we have to get to the final truth behind those memories, no matter what that may be, Scully." 

Scully sighed and patted him on the knee, "Mulder, I think we need to have a long talk with Marita Covarrubias." 

Mulder's jaw muscles jumped, "Scully, I think we need to pay a visit to both that cigarette smoking bastard AND his blond *blow me* bombshell and wring their necks until they give us some answers."

LATER THAT EVENING
JOURNAL OF DANA K. SCULLY

Redemption. According to Webster the word means "the act, process, or an instance of redeeming. Redeem means, among other things, "to release from blame or debt; to free from consequences or sin."

In a sense I feel redemption tonight. The argument between Mulder and I has passed and we seem to have weathered the storm with our trust intact. Yet, with that danger passed, we are faced with much more tonight.

I came here expecting to find Mulder in the violent throes of a fugue state and instead found he'd taken the initiative himself. He plunged headlong into danger only because the truth had gone there first. I feel redemption in the sense I got here in time, to watch over him and I suppose to pull him back after I so deftly pushed him away.

I pushed him away and yet I heard those words fall from his lips. I know he meant them. A small part of me fears what it means to be loved by Fox Mulder. All of the passion and intensity those kind of feelings bring from someone who is already so passionate and intense. The very thought is staggering. But another part of me is joyous. He returns the feelings I hide, the feelings we both hide. It isn't fair, I should tell him but I am so afraid, especially now.

Now is definitely not a good time. So much lies ahead of us at this moment. I need him to not know I love him too. Well, he already knows but he thinks it's a friendship kind of love. I fear he will be even more overly protective than he already is if he knows I share his feelings. We need to be focused on the task at hand now, not these dangerous feelings.

We'll have enough danger to contend with. Mulder told me Skinner has cleared us to go after the Cancer Man. I look forward to the challenge but I fear it as well. I know full well what the black-lunged bastard is capable of. I know this will not be easy. But my anger far outweighs any worries over difficulty.

I'm anxious to see Marita Covarrubias as well. It will take a lot for me not to shoot her on sight. I'd really love to know how she pulled off that little stunt. The very idea of her touching Mulder, let alone leading him to think she was me makes my blood boil. I'm left wondering if she too is a shapeshifter, another of the bounty hunters. She could have easily shifted to look like me...but I've never even seen this woman. Of course, I'm not so foolish to think that doesn't mean she hasn't seen me.

I'm asking myself a million questions tonight. One of which is why us? Why did they choose us for whatever experiment this was? Just to torture us. Is this yet another tool to manipulate us? Or were we just handy? Both? I cannot be certain but I intend to find out.

Mulder is twisting in his sleep on the sofa, but his face remains peaceful. He was so drained he drifted off mid-sentence awhile ago. I promised him I'd stay with him tonight. Neither of us wants to be alone. Neither of us should be alone. I'm surprised I can even admit that about myself. I'm learning a lot about myself these days.

I watched Mulder sleep for a long time. It's funny in a way. I know when he was staying with me he'd slip in and watch me sleep. He thinks I didn't know. But I've become such a light sleeper of late I'd often wake and see him standing in my doorway. I imagine he thinksit makes me mad, but it didn't. I actually felt safe and found it easier to go back to sleep knowing he was there.

Which leads me to further dangerous thoughts. I've begun to wonder what it would be like to wake up next to him; how much safer would that feel? Then tonight, I heard the sound of my name on his lips in ecstasy. How many times have I fantasized about that? Far too many times for my Catholic upbringing to be comfortable with.

Maybe I shouldn't be, after all we may have had a child together. Emily. I only wish she weren't some cruel experiment, that this child, hell OUR child, was the result of our love for one another. Instead she was the result of some terrible research and born of a test tube and trickery and not of my body.

I also felt an immense sense of guilt for not telling him what that woman did to him. But I was afraid. He was already hurting so much. I want him to feel his secret is safe, if not with Marita, with me. I'll hold onto that information like a treasure until it's right to share it with him. I have to eventually, it's not right not too. But now we need our strength and I have to be strong for Mulder and I have to keep him strong.

But tonight there it was. I caught a glimpse of what it would be for him to lose himself in me. As horrible as it felt to see him go through that under false pretenses, I felt myself want it. I do want it, God that's so hard for me to admit. I want to surrender myself to him the way I heard him surrender himself to me. A fire ignited some where inside me in that perverse moment and I can't seem to extinguish it.

Tonight I contented myself to stroke his hair and hold his hand as he drifted into blissful sleep. He remains there now. I wish I could join him, but I remain on the watch. I can't let anything else happen. We've already had too much taken from us and it's time we did some taking back. I'll close now and allow myself a little sleep. No one is coming through Mulder's door tonight without me hearing it. I'll stay here, mere inches from him, and if they come after him again they'll have to do it over my dead body.

XxX

TUESDAY, JANUARY 20, FOX MULDER'S APARTMENT 6 A.M.

Scully woke with a start bent uncomfortably over Mulder's desk. A yellow legal pad had been her pillow the night before. She lifted her head up gingerly and she felt every stiff muscle in her body complaining as she made them work. She groaned lightly and stretched. Checking her watch she realized she needed to make the long drive back to Annapolis in a hurry if she was going to even attempt to make it to the office on time.

She rubbed her eyes wearily. She was so tired her eyes were having difficulty focusing. She half saw the legal pad on Mulder's desk. It dawned on her she shouldn't leave her musings from the previous evening where Mulder could find them. She wanted him to know those things she wrote, but she wanted to tell him face to face. She hastily ripped the pages from the pad and stuffed them in her jacket pocket. She made a quick sweep of the apartment gathering her things. She slipped her heels back on and crossed the room to Mulder's sleeping form on the sofa. She reached out to shake him to tell him she was leaving. But stopped in mid-reach.

Instead she bent forward and placed a warm kiss on his forehead. She wasn't sure where the urge had come from. His eyes flicked open.

"Scully?"

She rubbed his arm. "Yeah, I've gotta go home and change. You gonna be all right?"

"Mmm. Yeah," he replied groggily, "I'll see you at the office."

She flashed him a smile and then hurried out the door. He grinned. She'd kissed him awake. He didn't want to allow himself the pleasure of thinking about that but he couldn't help it. It made him think of her kissing him night before last. He worried he was getting his hopes up, but some little part of him wanted to allow himself some happiness, just this once.

Mulder rose off the couch and stretched. He reached for his glasses on the table and discovered Scully's earrings, she'd forgotten them. His brow furrowed. He'd still been half asleep when she told him she was leaving, but he had noticed the dark circles under her eyes. He sighed. She hadn't gotten much sleep last night. It was becoming an unwelcome pattern for her. He knew she had to be exhausted.

He made his way to his desk, deciding to check his e-mail. He was wary he might have some cryptic message from the Cancer Man. Mulder knew he wouldn't stop at yesterday's little surprise. A personal appearance like that always warranted further garbage.

He paused when he got to his desk. His yellow legal pad lay on top of the desk. He could see several pages had been torn away, there was also a half page of Scully's precise handwriting. He wondered if she meant to leave it. Was it a note to him? He sat in his chair and picked up the tablet. His eyes widened at what he read.

"I also felt an immense sense of guilt for not telling him what that woman did to him."

At first he was angry, she was holding out on him again. But as he read further, he softened.

"I have to eventually, it's not right not too. But now we need our strength and I have to be strong for Mulder and I have to keep him strong."

She was protecting him. He couldn't fault her there. How many times had he done that to her against her wishes? So now the roles had reversed a little. He sighed, "Oh Scully." He felt somewhat guilty for reading something she so obviously wasn't ready for him to know yet, but he couldn't help himself.

He kept reading. His heart leapt to his throat on two lines.

"I want to surrender myself to him the way I heard him surrender himself to me. A fire ignited some where inside me in that perverse moment and I can't seem to extinguish it."

He reached out with a shaking hand and tore the piece of paper from the pad. As much as he was sickened by the implications of what he surmised must have happened to him in the arctic, his heart was hopeful because of Scully's words. He made up his mind. They needed to talk. She might be afraid of what their feelings would do to them but he was more afraid of what continuing to deny them would do. He placed the page next to his wallet and padded down the hall to the shower.

"We have to talk about this Dana. We've lived in denial too long."

XxX

9:30 AM FBI HEADQUARTERS

Scully held the envelope in trembling fingers. She'd found it under the door when she'd come in. She was a little surprised she'd made it to the office before Mulder. She wished he was there to deal with whatever this package was. Her hair stood on end as she looked at the seemingly innocuous manila envelope. She walked to her desk opening the package. She stopped just before her chair and removed the contents.

She had to grip the side of her desk as she viewed the pictures the package contained. Scully was staring into the face of a dark-haired child. The child had piercing blue eyes and dark curly hair. Light freckles played across her small aquiline nose and her smile was all too familiar.

There were three pictures of the child and a handwritten note paper clipped to them. Scully detached the note from the photos and set the photos on her desk. The note was addressed to Mulder.

>>Mr. Mulder:

You may not remember our meeting in the arctic, but I do.
I was instructed to take something from you that I thought
inconsequential at the time. I did think the nature of my
orders strange, but I followed them anyway. The result of my
theft is not so inconsequential. The attached photos are
of a child that, for all intents and purposes, is your daughter.

I want to warn you this child is dying. She is the result of
some cruel experiments being performed by the people I work
for. I am not without compassion, Mr. Mulder and I simply
cannot allow this to happen. At present, I do not
know where the child is being held but I can find out. If
it's possible, I'd like to meet with you to discuss this. I
will be in touch soon.

MC<<

"Marita," Scully hissed aloud. She grabbed the photos and another slip of paper fell out from between them. The typewritten words jumped from the page but gave no clue as to who THEIR author was. But the paper smelled of smoke.

>>Agents Mulder and Scully: 

Please forgive my associate's - let me see, how should I put
it - ah, yes - overzealousness. I had thought of her as 'la
belle dame sans merci' you see, 'the beautiful lady without
mercy'. Perhaps I was wrong in that assumption. At any
rate, even though she is misguided in her actions here, she
has still accomplished essentially what I had wanted to have
done anyway. She has successfully delivered my little
surprise you see. I suppose I will need to thank her in my
own way and in my own time.

This child's name isn't Emily, but she is her sister.
Her name is Elizabeth. Elizabeth doesn't look like her
sister. No, she looks more like her parents. But she
shares another similarity with her sister. She's dying from
the same disease that took Emily.

As her parents, I thought you had the right to know. Her
adoptive parents were killed in a tragic accident. Elizabeth
now resides at a medical facility near Laurel, Maryland.
The good doctors there are managing to keep her alive. But
I fear they are running out of viable resources to keep her
living much longer. Of course, this tragic situation can be
rectified. I'll be in touch with the details on how. In
the meantime, I've enclosed the facility's address and
informed the staff they are to give you full access to the
child. They have been told you are the child's aunt and uncle.<<

Scully slumped into her chair. Anger, fear and sadness descended on her in a swarm. She was so shocked she couldn't even move. She gripped the sides of her chair, willing her control to come back to her. She was dimly aware the door to their office opened, yet all she could manage to do was stare at the wall.

Mulder was taken aback at his partner's countenance as he entered their office. Her face was pale, her jaw slack and her eyes glassy. He rushed across the office to her desk, dropping the rose in his hand onto her desk.

"Scully...SCULLY! What is it?"

She numbly handed him the letters and the pictures. Mulder started to shake as he read Marita's and the Cancer Man's notes. He threw the papers aside and started to do the same with the pictures until he saw the child's face. His felt a stabbing pain in his chest. Just looking at the girl in the photograph, there was no question whose child she was. She was such a perfect combination of them both. His perusal of the photo was interrupted by a soft sobbing below him.

Mulder quickly dropped the photos to the desk and crouched in front of Scully. He placed his hands over hers on either side of the arm rests. Her eyes slowly raised to meet his. She was shaking but trying so hard to keep it all in, keep it all together. His Scully, ever the one to try to be strong.

He slid his hands up her arms and gently pulled her up from the chair and into a standing position. He tucked her head under his chin and held her tightly. The shaking got worse.

"Let go, Scully. It's OK, it's just you and me here. Let it go. I'm here and it's OK, just let it all go."

She sobbed and let loose with a loud cry. The anguish in her voice made Mulder's heart break. She clutched at his chest and buried her face against his body. He felt his own anger bubbling in him. He pulled them both back against a filing cabinet and slid to the floor, no longer able to stand. Her anguish was his as well. He spread his legs in a vee, and she tucked her knees under her so they could remain in one another's embrace.

Mulder pushed his anger down and concentrated on rubbing his hands over Scully's back in a vain effort to lessen the pain. "How could that bastard do this?" his mind screamed. Scully hadn't recovered from the pain of Emily's loss, now the bastards in the consortium were torturing her with this. He wanted to lash out but he fought the urge, focusing on Scully. It kept him grounded.

She slowly relaxed and her sobs subsided. She turned loose of his jacket lapels. He felt her small hands smoothing over the fabric. He cocked his head so he could see her face. She pulled away slightly from him and looked into his eyes again.

"Why Mulder?"

He shook his head slowly. "I don't know Scully, but I'm sure the bastard will tell us. He wants something. I have no intentions of giving him a thing until we see this child and determine she really is ours. I'll only play his game to a point."

She nodded and fell silent again. She pushed her head back under his chin. She drew in a sharp breath. "Mulder, don't let go. I...I know we're both going through so much right now, but if you let go I'll fall apart, I..."

"SCULLY. I'm not letting go of anything. I'm right here. We're in this together," he said into her ear.

"I know...but you seemed so upset yesterday when you learned we might have a child...I know this is difficult for you, I know you think they're manipulating us...and to an extent I know they are. But Mulder can you look at that child and not know..."

He brought a finger to her lips. "That photo could be a fake, Scully. There are many possibilities here, including that the girl is our daughter. I'm not saying that isn't a possibility. I also know you want to believe and I'm not doubting you, Scully. I'm doubting them. I told you last night this was something we had to investigate. If anything we have a lead now," he said in a defeated tone.

Fear and anger began to run through her again. "What the hell is wrong with him?" she asked herself. "Why is he still refusing to believe we may have a child together? Is it because the idea repulses him?" she wondered bitterly.

Scully shrank away from him. She stood and gripped the back of her chair. She heard him rise behind her.

"What?" he sounded confused.

"A lead." She said dully. "That lead is flesh and blood, Mulder, and she may just be your...our daughter."

"Scully, I wasn't trying to make any less of this child, but we don't have all the facts yet..."

"No, we don't. But somehow I get the impression you're not too comfortable with the idea of having a child, of being the father of MY child," she spat.

He felt himself grow sick. "How can she think that?" he cried inwardly. Then he became angry. "No, not again. We are not going to allow this to tear us apart again," he vowed silently. He gripped her shoulders and turned her to face him. She was trying hard to look angry, but he saw the fear and sadness there too.

"Scully. I'll admit seeing myself as a father is difficult, that much is true. But if I were to become one, I would be honored if you were the mother of my children. Having children with you would be...well it's not something I'd ever regret. But, I AM uncomfortable with this situation, The way things seem to have taken place make me sick. You HAVE to know that. You HAVE to feel the same discomfort. And that discomfort is exactly why I'm skeptical here. I don't want us to go through all this pain only to find this is just another lie to facilitate our own manipulation."

He pulled her to him again and her shoulders relaxed. He felt her hands circle his waist. He let loose a sigh of relief. He ran his hands over her back and she gripped him tighter.

"I'm sorry Mulder, this is just all so much to deal with."

"I know Scully, but no matter what happens we still have each other."

She nodded into his chest and then pushed away, but her hands still lingered on his hips. "What next?"

"You up for a trip to Laurel, Maryland?"

She sighed heavily. "No, but I'm going regardless." She looked up at him and he nodded back. She watched a range of emotions play across his face. Sadness, grief, anger. But as they stared at one another his face softened. Another emotion appeared in his expressive hazel eyes. Love. Scully stiffened a little. The emotion still scared her. She dropped her hands from his waist and took his hands, giving them a light squeeze.

"You'll have some time to get used to the idea," he said angrily, "I think we should pay Marita a visit first. I'm not waiting for her to contact me. I'd like to know just exactly how much she knows."

She let go of his hand and nodded. She started to walk away but he caught her arm. She watched his free hand go to her desk and pick up a rose. He must have brought it in with him and she never noticed it.

She smiled at him. He moved past her and placed the flower in a small bud vase she kept on her desk. She watched as he turned back to her, a sad smile playing about his lips.

"Thank you, Mulder," she said shyly.

He smiled at her and bent forward and kissed her forehead, much like she'd done that morning.

"We will get through this Scully. We have too," he said firmly. They gathered their things and headed out the door.

XxX

TUESDAY, JANUARY 20, OFFICE OF SPECIAL REPRESENTATIVE TO UN SEC'Y
GENERAL, WASHINGTON, DC 11 AM

Agent Fox Mulder and Agent Dana Scully stood outside the elevators that had brought them up to the floor in the building where the United Nations Office Of Special Representative to the Secretary General could be found.

"Mulder, I don't like the way this looks," Scully whispered as they walked down the hallway towards the office Mulder knew as the home base for Marita Covarrubias.

"Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing," Mulder answered as he surveyed the quiet, seemingly deserted expanse ahead of them. The sound of their heels echoed as they walked through the shafts of cold winter sunlight that shone through half closed blinds over the windows to their right. As the two Agents neared Marita's office door, Mulder put his hand on the butt of his weapon and Scully did the same.

Mulder lifted his left hand and firmly rapped on the office door. There was no answer. Scully reached past Mulder and gave the door handle a gentle turn. The door started to swing open on silent hinges. They glanced sideways at each other and then quickly drew their weapons.

"On three," Mulder hissed and on the three count, both Agents plunged through the door, Mulder high and Scully low.

The office suite seemed empty. Empty of light, empty of sound, empty of every stick of furniture and definitely empty of Marita Covarrubias.

It turned out however, that it wasn't totally empty.

"What the hell?" Mulder cursed as he bent to pick up the business sized envelope which lay dead center on the plush beige carpeting of the outer office.

"I was wondering when that would capture your attention," Scully tried to joke but she couldn't quite keep the strain out of her voice.

"Yeah, maybe my standing on it convinced me it might be a clue," Mulder retorted, the tension making his joke weak as well.

Mulder took the envelope over to the wall of windows on one side of the suite's outer office. The blinds were closed tight of course, so he yanked their drawstring, and sunlight spilled in to illuminate the room. Scully walked over to stand next to him. She placed a hand on his shoulder as Mulder carefully tore the end of the envelope.

He pulled out a single sheet of paper and held it up into the light. Scully could see the crisp old fashioned typewritten letters of the message and apprehension gripped her heart. The message consisted of only one line and it said:

*sic transit gloria mundi*

"Christ..." Mulder hissed.

"So passes away the glory of the world?" Scully whispered.

"Yeah, God damn him," Mulder swore as he sniffed the typewritten sheet, "if this asshole didn't use *Eau De Morley* as an aftershave we'd have more trouble figuring out who's writing this shit," he tried to joke again but grim determination set his jaw.

"Well, the trademark megalomania's a pretty good hint too," Scully sighed trying again to match his attempt at humor. She rubbed Mulder's shoulder slightly. When she stopped rubbing she stepped away from him to gaze out the window.

"Mulder, I don't think we can put off going to Maryland any longer," she stated quietly as she studied the street far below. "Look at all those tiny people down there," she mused idly, "if they only knew, if they had any idea..."

Mulder cleared his throat as he returned the typewritten sheet to it's envelope. Scully looked up at his face.

Mulder stared into her eyes, "Yeah, you're right," he replied, "Besides, I guess we can obviously forget about getting anything out of *Blow-me Blondie* for now," Mulder added with disgust as he shoved the envelope in past his coat and into his suit coat's inner pocket.

Scully fixed him with a piercing stare of utter conviction, "Personally I think we should go after her Morley sucking bastard of a partner, Agent Mulder."

Mulder looked back at her and he smiled wide, "You bettcha Agent Scully," he replied, clapping her gently on the back, "Let's get this show on the road."

XxX

TUESDAY, JANUARY 20, APPROXIMATELY 12 PM, OUTSIDE LAUREL MARYLAND

Scully stifled a yawn as she and Mulder walked up to the Geneteco Medical Center. She was barely able to keep moving. The whole situation was exhausting and her lack of sleep the previous evening wasn't helping matters either. The sun glinted off the mirrored windows of the building causing her to squint. She desperately wanted to shut her eyes all the way and just sleep.

They passed through a revolving door and a security guard stopped them.

"May I see your IDs or are you visitors here?"

Mulder and Scully produced their FBI badges. Mulder addressed the guard, "I'm Special Agent Fox Mulder, this is Special Agent Dana Scully. We're here to see a patient, Elizabeth Fox."

The guard checked his clipboard and nodded at them. "Take the elevators to the third floor. The nurse on duty will direct you from there."

Once inside the elevator, Scully leaned heavily against the wall. She raised a trembling hand to her face and covered her eyes. Despite her exhaustion, she was terribly nervous. She felt sick at her stomach and her knees were wobbling. A girl who was possibly she and Mulder's daughter was on the third floor, never mind the fact the child might be dying.

"You OK, Scully?"

"Yeah, Mulder. This is just a little unsettling."

Mulder pursed his lips. Scully looked so tired. He vaguely thought the last time she'd had a decent meal was the lunch they'd shared a week ago. Sure she'd had a soda now and again and he'd seen her eat some yogurt, but she seemed to be losing more and more weight. Mulder held a swear under his breath. If he saw the Cancer Man in the next few minutes, he'd shoot him on sight.

The doors to the elevator opened and Mulder guided Scully through the doorway. They approached the nurses' station and pulled out their IDs. Scully spoke wearily to the nurse.

"We're with the FBI. We need to see Elizabeth Fox," she said matter of factly.

The nurse peered over ancient reading glasses at their IDs. Mulder idly wondered if someone so old should be doing such a job. The nurse's eyes flicked back up to Scully.

"We've been expecting you Ms. Scully. Elizabeth's down the hall. Room 203."

Mulder gently took Scully's arm and pushed her in the direction of the old crone's crooked finger. He felt a little relieved and a little worried that Scully allowed herself to be guided. She walked a few steps in front of him. His jaw tightened as he realized her shoulders were sagging.

Scully pushed the door marked 203 open, walked into the room a few steps, and froze. Elizabeth Fox's blue eyes focused on hers. Scully choked down a gasp. The pictures of the child were haunting enough, but the flesh and blood girl made Scully's heart stop. Scully felt Mulder's hand rest on her shoulder.

Elizabeth's face was very pale and dark circles rested heavily under her eyes. Her curly brown hair seemed lifeless around her head. Her mouth was drawn tight and she twisted her hands nervously in her lap as she stared at the strangers in her room. She winced a little, seeming to squeeze her own hand a little too hard. The child coughed slightly.

"Elizabeth?" Scully asked, her voice cracking.

"Yes, ma'am," the child replied shyly.

Scully approached the bed and pulled up the hard, yellow chair adjacent the bed. She sat down. Mulder remained standing behind her, arms crossed over his chest.

"I'm Dana Scully and this is Fox Mulder," Mulder nodded at her and managed a weak smile. "We're trying to learn some things about you so you can get well. Is it OK if I ask you some questions?"

The child cast her eyes downward, shyly. "I guess so."

Scully fumbled with what to say next. Elizabeth was only about four years old. There were few telling questions she could ask. She didn't want to ask the child about her parents fearing the reaction. Elizabeth was very sick, her parents were dead, and now two strangers wanted to ask her a bunch of questions. An idea popped into Scully's head.

"Elizabeth, do you ever see anyone other than the doctors here?"

The child shook her head, "No ma'am."

Scully looked at Mulder. He was shaking. She reached over and touched his hand. He gave her a sheepish look and then stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked over to the window. Scully sighed and pressed on ward.

"What do the doctors say is wrong with you, Elizabeth?"

"My blood is bad," she said sadly, "They do things that hurt."

"What kind of things?"

"They stick me with needles. Sometimes they put me in this big machine. It's loud and scary."

Scully's mind flashed back to the tests they ran on Emily and how uncomfortable they made the young girl. Tears threatened to spill, but she took a deep breath and composed herself again. She touched the girl's arm and stood up.

"Elizabeth, I know the things the doctors do are painful but they're trying to help you. Mr. Mulder and I are going to try and help you too, if you'll let us. Will that be OK?"

Elizabeth nodded.

"Mulder, I need to talk to you outside for a minute."

Mulder followed her from the room. He shut the door behind him as Scully slumped onto the bench in the hall. Mulder sat down next to her.

"What do you think?" he asked.

Scully stared at the wall in front of them and crossed her arms over her chest. Mulder dimly thought she was trying to physically hold herself together. He heard her sigh heavily.

"I don't know, Mulder," she said tersely, "What do you think?"

He reached over and pulled an arm away from her body. He pulled it toward him and laced his fingers through hers. "Looking at that child, Scully, there's no question in my mind that she's ours."

Scully turned and faced him. One crystalline tear fell down her cheek. Mulder caught it with his free hand. She bit her lip and reached across to touch his cheek. A nurse interrupted them.

"Ms. Scully?"

Mulder and Scully immediately extricated themselves from one another. Scully wiped her eyes and fixed the brunette woman with a wary stare.

"Yes."

"I'm Nurse McCallister. I keep an eye on Elizabeth on this shift. I know she has some serious problems and I've been told you're related to her. Are you just finding out she's here?"

"Yes."

"Oh. It was so tragic her parents we're killed the way they were. I have to say, given her condition, she's handled their deaths well. I'm sorry about your loss. Will you be taking care of her now?"

"What exactly were you told about Elizabeth?" Scully asked directly.

Nurse McCallister bristled a bit at Scully's harsh tone. Scully immediately surmised McCallister was merely a pawn in the game.

"Just that her parents were killed and she has a rare blood disorder. We learned earlier this week that you and her uncle had been located and would be coming to see her."

Mulder and Scully exchanged glances. Scully nodded at the nurse. She started to say something but Mulder cut her off.

"Nurse McCallister, who is Elizabeth's doctor? I'd like to speak with him."

"Oh, of course, it's Dr. Kerry. I'll go see if he's available."

Mulder nodded and turned back to Scully. She rubbed his shoulder.

"Mulder, I want to get a blood sample from Elizabeth. I want to do a DNA test and know for sure."

Mulder blinked at her. "You really think they'll let you do that?"

"If they don't know I'm doing it," she patted the side of her purse, "I have a hypodermic with me. Keep the doctor out here until I come out will you."

Mulder nodded as Scully slipped back into Elizabeth's room. Sunlight was washing across the child's features and she was sleeping. Scully groaned. She hated to wake the child to cause her more pain.

Scully quietly approached the bed and pulled the hypodermic out of her purse. She gingerly pulled it out of its plastic casing. She gently shook Elizabeth. The child opened her eyes groggily. Scully gave Elizabeth a weak smile.

"Elizabeth, I'm going to need to take a little blood from you. I'm sorry I know you don't like to have this done, but I need to find some things out so we can get you well. Is that OK?"

The child nodded sleepily. Scully took in a deep breath. She quickly found a vein and plunged the needle in. She worked carefully trying to make it as painless as possible. Elizabeth bit down hard on her lip but she didn't cry. Scully was some what thankful the child was so tired, it made the whole procedure easier. Outside she heard Mulder's voice and it wasn't happy.

"I want to know just exactly what you're doing for this child, Dr. Kerry!"

Scully quickly deposited the blood in a vial she had in her purse, capped it and hid the vial in her jacket pocket. She tossed the used needle into the biohazard container in the room just as Mulder and the doctor entered. Mulder's fists were clenched and his face was bright red.

"She's obviously quite sick and you've only got ONE nurse assigned to watch her. Shouldn't she be under constant observation?"

"Mr. Mulder, please lower your voice, we don't want to upset Elizabeth."

Scully took the child's hand and Elizabeth squeezed back. Scully fixed the blonde doctor with an ice blue stare. "OK, I'll ask you more quietly Dr. Kerry. What are you doing for this child?"

The doctor seemed startled by Scully. He stood stock still and stared at her for what seemed an eternity. After a long pause, the doctor addressed Scully.

"We're doing all we can Ms. Scully. We are constantly monitoring her via machine and she undergoes tests daily. Since we know nothing about the blood disorder she has all we can do is keep trying old and new methods until we find something that works. I assure we're working night and day on this."

Scully raised an eyebrow. Dr. Kerry seemed to know both she and Mulder's names, unlike the nurse who thought Mulder and Scully were the child's aunt and uncle. Mulder walked up behind the doctor.

"It's obviously NOT enough," Mulder rumbled.

"Mulder..." Scully said, her tone warning. She gave him a long stare willing him to be quiet so they could leave. He seemed to get the hint. Scully cut her eyes back to the doctor. "If I was a betting woman I'd say ol' Dr. Kerry is in on this whole thing, I can practically smell the smoke," she told herself silently.

Scully hadn't missed the doctor's reaction to her when he entered the room. Dr. Kerry seemed to know Scully. Frightening thoughts of how entered her head. Scully surmised the Cancer Man had meant for this all to play out much the way it had. The Smoker might have even guessed they'd try to get a blood sample, but she couldn't be sure. But this had all been far to easy. The Smoker wanted them to see Elizabeth and get as much information as they could. There was something else he wanted.

"You'll have to excuse us Dr. Kerry, we've been driving a long time. We're both short on sleep. Could you give us a few more minutes with Elizabeth? Mr. Mulder and I need to get some sleep and then we'll return in the morning."

The doctor nodded and left the room.

"Why did you do that?" Mulder hissed. Scully just gave him a look.

"We've got what we need."

She returned her attention to Elizabeth, she let go of the child's hand and stroked her hair. "We need to go now Elizabeth, but we'll come to see you tomorrow. Will that be OK?"

Elizabeth nodded. "Mr. Mulder," Elizabeth said in a small voice, "Your name is Fox too?"

Mulder coughed loudly, "Well, my first name is like your last name."

"Oh, are you my real Daddy then?" she asked plainly.

Mulder's jaw set. His mind raced with the possibilities of how she would even think to ask such a question. He started to speak but she beat him to the punch.

"Dr. Kerry says my real Daddy will come for me someday."

Mulder stared blankly at her not knowing how to respond. Scully crossed the room to him and took his hand. "We don't know who your real parents are, Elizabeth. But we're going to try to find out."

"OK," she said quietly. "Bye Mr. Mulder...and Ms. Scully."

"Goodbye Elizabeth," Mulder said sadly.

XxX

TUESDAY, JANUARY 20, APPROXIMATELY 3 PM, FBI HEADQUARTERS

Scully entered the room carrying two vials of blood. She wore a lab coat over her clothes and her hair was in disarray. Dark circles ringed her eyes and Mulder cringed as he saw her. He knew she had to be tired.

She'd gotten no sleep the night before and she was working on pure adrenaline.

She set the vials in a test tube rack next to him, one was marked "DKS" the other "EF". She walked over to the sink in the sterile smelling room and began washing her hands. Mulder sighed heavily.

"Roll up your sleeve, Mulder."

"What did you tell Anderson you were doing when you asked him to take your blood sample?"

"That I was testing one of your crazy theories," she said making a weak joke.

Mulder shook his head. He took off his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt sleeve. He worked the cotton material up his arm as he heard Scully snap on latex gloves near the sink. When he looked up she was carrying a hypodermic and headed for him. Even in her exhausted state, she was ever the efficient doctor.

Mulder turned his head as she plunged the needle into his arm. A few seconds later she announced she was done. She swabbed his arm with alcohol and then placed a bandage over the puncture. She placed a small piece of tape on the vial and wrote the letters "FWM" on it and placed it in the rack with the others.

Mulder numbly watched her begin adjusting several pieces of complicated looking equipment. Scully was tense as well as tired. She'd been a bit angry with him in the car. He'd griped at her for saying so much in front of the doctor. She tersely told him the good doctor was in on it all anyway and that it didn't matter.

Then she'd told him she was worried.

"I think this child is ours, but she's a means to an end, Mulder."

"What do you mean?"

"Didn't all that at the medical center seem a little too easy to you?"

He realized she was right. Elizabeth was more than likely their daughter but she wasn't the point, another thing that was infuriating him. This girl was merely a lab rat to those people. She was the carrot he and Scully were being taunted with. The Smoker wanted something and he was going to use Elizabeth to get it. Mulder clenched his jaw.

Scully's voice startled him out of his reverie.

"Mulder, why don't you go on downstairs to the office. This is going to take awhile. I've got to centrifuge the blood to get at the white blood cells and a whole host of similar procedures I won't bore you with to eventually extract the DNA. It'll take me most of the night and I may not finish until morning."

"Are you sure you don't want me to stick around?"

"No, I could use a little time to myself. I'll come get you for a break in a few hours."

XxX

TUESDAY, JANUARY 20, 5 PM, LOCATION UNKNOWN

Marita Covarrubias stared out the window of the dark apartment into the inky black of the night. "Matches my mood," she thought bitterly. She'd successfully cleared everything from her part-time Washington office so she could permanently move to New York. The Consortium had deemed she needed to work from there from now on. It was just as well, Marita wasn't too fond of DC. The constant commuting between the two places had worn thin and she welcomed the opportunity to be back on her home turf for good.

Marita dimly hoped it would get her away from the Morley Smoking bastard. She sniffed, "Didn't think that lowly of him until recently did you, Marita?" she chastised herself aloud.

When she first met him she found him charming. After all, The Smoker was a brilliant man. He was also as cold and aloof as she was. She found him so much more appealing than that simpering Alex Krychek. What a toy boy he'd been. She chuckled a little at the thought. Krychek had been so easy to manipulate, all she had to do was bat her eyes seductively and he came running.

But The Smoker had been different. He was definitely a powerful man. Power was a serious turn on for Marita. Just thinking about the number of people The Smoker could kill just by opening his mouth made Marita wet. She self-consciously licked her bottom lip. "I can't think like that now," she told herself silently, "I've got to get away from him. So much of what he's doing is wrong. Once I'm in New York I know I can change things."

A chill ran through her body and she wrapped her arms tightly around her waist. She jumped when she heard his voice.

"Pondering your recent exploits, Marita?"

Marita whirled on her heel. She could barely make out his shadow leaning against the door frame of the apartment. "Actually, I was thinking of the future," she answered truthfully.

He moved into the room but she still couldn't see his face, only the red glow of his cigarette in the dark. "Ah, the future. Yours or someone else's?"

"What do you want?" she asked tersely. "I'm not in the mood for any of your insipid word games, John."

He chuckled softly. She was one of the few people who called him by name. It wasn't his real name certainly, he'd never give that up to anyone. But it was difficult to pretend to make love to someone if they didn't know your name. He'd allowed her to call him by his pen name.

"You want me to cut to the chase, Marita?" He said moving closer. Marita stepped in the other direction. They'd begun circling one another like caged leopards.

"That'd be nice," she spat.

"Oh, I don't think so lover," he said in a low voice, "I too was thinking about the future just now. Yours and how quickly it's about to be your past." He stubbed the cigarette out in a discarded soda can on the coffee table in front of him.

He strode across the room in three long strides and grabbed her shoulders. He roughly shoved her up against the wall behind her.

"Just what the hell were you thinking telling Mulder he has a child?"

She trembled in his grip. "I...I don't know what you're talking about."

He let go of one arm and slapped her across the face, "Don't lie to me," he hissed.

"I wanted to plant a trap..." she was grasping for any explanation shecould pull out of the air. She needed to buy time to get out of this situation. He cut her short.

Marita felt his free hand close over her throat. She gasped for air.

"I said DON'T LIE TO ME, you bitch."

The Smoker pressed his body closer. Marita's mind spun. Thoughts were running wildly through her head but she couldn't come up with an answer, at least one that wouldn't get her killed. Then she felt it. Anger aroused the sick bastard and she could feel his erection pressing against her thigh. Despite the situation, she felt her own arousal building too. She supposed that was why things had worked between them so long. They both liked it rough.

She struggled, but managed to bring one of her hands up and stroked him through his pants.

"I don't want to lie to you John, so I'm not going to say anything," she choked, "but there are other things I can do for you."

She could barely see his face in the dim light but she could see the twist of his mouth lessen. He also loosened his grip. He trailed the hand down her chest and cupped one of her breasts. His thumb automatically began circling her nipple through her blouse.

"You whore," he spat as he covered her mouth and kissed her roughly.

The Smoker pressed her harder up against the wall. It had been a long time since he'd been with Marita or anyone else for that matter. He hated that she still had the same effect over him, even when she'd betrayed him. He couldn't help himself though. Sometimes just looking at her made him rock hard. She was so cold and distant but she turned to fire under his touch. Marita had as much of a weakness for him as he had for her.

"What the hell," he told himself, "I'll satisfy this little urge and then press her back into my service." He moved his hand from her breast and tore through all of the buttons of her blouse. He backed away long enough to pull the garment off her body.

She grabbed the lapels of his suit jacket and pushed it off his shoulders. He let it drop to the floor. She grabbed his tie roughly and pulled him to her. "You bastard." She loosened the knot at his neck and pulled the scrap of silk over his head. She kissed him roughly and tore through his shirt buttons. She discarded his shirt in much the manner she'd rid him of his jacket.

He pushed away from her laughing, "I've made you that eager, Marita?"

"Shut up," she hissed working his belt buckle loose. He heard the metallic slide of the zipper and felt his pants drop to the floor. He grabbed her hands roughly then pushed away from her. He kicked his shoes off and discarded his pants and boxers. She reached for him again but he stopped her.

"No! You finish undressing for me now," he ordered. He placed his hands on either side of the wall next to her head.

"Don't you want to go into the bedroom?" she suggested.

"I said strip."

She reached down and unclasped her bra and discarded it. He leaned forward, "Very good," he growled, "Now the rest," he took one of her breasts into his mouth, sucking at her hard nipple. She moaned but continued to disrobe. She had to move away from him slightly to remove her nylons. She then moved to take off her panties but he caught her hands.

"I'll take over from here." He knelt in front of her and slowly slid the lacy material down her legs. She accommodated him by stepping out of them. He slid his hand up her thigh and teased the edge of her folds with his finger. She leaned back against the wall and moaned.

He slid a finger inside her and began to stroke slowly. She tossed her head back and forth against the wall. The Smoker watched her with amusement. He loved having this kind of power over a woman. Especially Marita. He loved reducing her to this state, because soon he would make her beg and that was one of his favorite pastimes. She was moaning above him.

"Ohhh..."

"Marita, you sound so wanton. Is this...pleasurable?" He slipped another finger inside and she arched her back towards him. She gasped loudly.

"Answer me," he said withdrawing his hand. She groaned from the loss of contact.

"Yes," she hissed, "finish what you started."

He covered her with his mouth, darting his tongue into her. She felt so tightly wound. This was torture and, although pleasant torture, she knew she wouldn't come without a price. But somehow the fear was making her even more aroused. Her hips bucked against his face.

Marita knew she was close and she so desperately craved release. It had been a long time for her. Well, at least a long time since she'd been with someone. She and The Smoker hadn't seen one another in quite some time. She'd forgotten how much his touch inflamed her. She was moving higher and higher towards the inevitable. She twined her fingers in his hair and murmured to him, egging him on. Then he stopped.

"You want to come don't you, Marita?"

"Yesss...please."

He laughed. "Oh I think you can do better than that lover. I want to hear you really beg for it." She felt his finger circling her clit, but he was light on the pressure, only teasing her.

She knew this was it. The game was about to go up a notch. He'd caught her trying to help Mulder and there was no doubt in her mind he'd kill her if she didn't go along now. Her thoughts became less and less focused as he touched her, biology was taking over. She knew that was exactly what he wanted but she was helpless to do anything now.

"I've always loved working with you Marita," he breathed huskily, "Your sexual appetite makes you so pliable. I really get off on that you know."

She groaned.

"I have some important news for you, Marita. I had planned to let Mulder in on his daughter's condition but you beat me to it. In a way you did me a favor, so I'm willing to not only bring you the precious release you're dying for now but also let you live...provided you do as I tell you."

He thrust his fingers deep inside her and pumped a couple of times and then stopped. She cried out.

"Uhhh, God what? What do you want me to do?"

"You'll help me finish what you started. We're going to use the girl to get Mulder to agree to be 'collared' so to speak. You need not know anything further than that. Just say the word, Marita, and I let you come and I'll let you live." She felt him pump into her twice more for emphasis.

She was totally helpless and her mind was certainly not clear. She knew she was agreeing to something sinister, but what other viable choice did she have. "Yesss, anything you want John...please."

His hand moved furiously between her legs until she screamed and slumped against the wall. Tremors ran through her body as she lie there. The smoker just watched her. He made no moved to hold her. Instead, he crossed his arms over his chest and stared at his now straining erection.

Marita's breathing finally calmed and she looked up at him. He gave her a wicked smile. "Don't just sit there. Did I forget to mention the other part of the bargain, lover? You know the drill. Get to it."

He watched as she slowly got up on her knees and took him in her mouth. He leaned into the wall, placing his hands on it to steady himself. He felt her lips and tongue slide along his length. He bit his lip to keep from making any noise. He had too much pride to allow her to think she was THAT arousing to him. He ordered her to move faster and she complied and moved her hand up to stroke his balls. He finally allowed himself an audible groan, if only to encourage her.

Moments later he came violently in her mouth, knocking her over and falling onto the floor next to her. He rolled away from her and braced himself on his arms until he was more calm. He turned and looked at her. She was wiping her mouth and looking utterly disgusted. He slapped her again.

"You deserved it after betraying me. How stupid do you think I am?"

He rose and pulled her up with him and then pinned her against the wall. "You're lucky you do that so well you spineless prostitute, it will keep you alive for the time being." He circled her throat with his large hands again. He knew how to use just enough pressure to make her pass out. He pressed his hands in a little harder and her eyes grew large and then her head lolled to one side. He dropped her and let her slide down the wall.

"Sweet dreams Marita, you've been so useful."

The Smoker gathered his clothes and quickly dressed. He lit up a cigarette and smoked it over her prone body. When he finished he stubbed the butt out against the wall and dropped it next to her head. He pulled a scrap piece of paper from his pocket and scrawled across the small page. He dropped it next to the cigarette butt. He let himself out into the night.

XxX

THREE HOURS LATER

Marita woke groggily. Her head was throbbing and her neck felt like it was locked in a vice. She felt chilled and noticed she was still nude.

Thoughts of what had just happened flooded her memory and she fought back the urge to vomit. She stood wearily and groped for the light switch on the wall.

Light flooded the room and Marita had to squint to see. She took a couple of tentative steps towards the bathroom. Her head swam and she stopped moving to avoid falling. She steadied herself against the wall and let her head fall forward. She snorted when she saw the cigarette butt lying on the floor, but then a piece of paper lying next to it caught her eye. She reached down and picked it up. It was in the smoker's signature scrawl.

"Geneteco Medical Center, Laurel, Maryland. This information will be useful to you in the next couple of days. Don't stray again."

Marita sighed. She scrubbed her face. The name of the facility rung a bell. In her muddled state she couldn't figure out why it sounded familiar. She rose and placed the scrap of paper in her purse on the small table next to the door.

She willed herself to walk into the bathroom where she finally did throw up. She ran water in the sink and washed her mouth out. She then took a long drink of water. She faced her countenance in the mirror and spit out the water. She sputtered and coughed at what she saw. A dark bruise mottled the skin of her neck. The Smoker had left his mark. She swore to the empty room.

Marita hated being forced to do anything. Well, not the forced sex. She knew on some level she had just enjoyed John's less than tender attention. It was John and his scheming she couldn't stand any longer. The arrogant son of a bitch and his power hungry manipulative ways made her want to scream. <Not to mention what he planned to do to Mulder and that innocent little girl.> John's whole convoluted world was beginning to disgust her and she was finally as mad as hell over it all.

She mentally told herself she'd been fucked in more ways than one. And one of those ways had been no where near as enjoyable as the other. "That stops here and now," she said aloud. She walked back into the living room and dressed. She slipped her shoes on and dimly wondered where the hell Mulder was, it was nearly 9 PM. She figured this would be the one place she'd find him. She shrugged guessing she was lucky he hadn't found her in the state she woke up in.

She walked to the door and grabbed her purse. She re-locked the door she'd so skillfully broken into a few hours earlier and shut it behind her. She tried to get the 2 on the door back into an upright position but it wouldn't go. Behind the closed door she heard the phone ringing. She listened closely as the machine picked up.

"You've reached Fox Mulder, please leave a message...BEEEP."

"Mulder it's Skinner, I need to speak with you regarding your progressin the morning. Call Sharon and set up an appointment."

Marita walked away.

XxX

TUESDAY, JANUARY 20, 9:00 PM, THE BASEMENT

Basement, yeah that's more appropriate than you could ever know little journal. We've pretty much hit rock bottom, Scully and I. I haven't written in you for a while. Jesus, I wonder why? HA! Even now I don't really want to write. I'm just too numb. Exhausted. My hope is almost exhausted, and I think I understand, at last, why Scully's faith is exhausted as well.

I'm sitting here waiting to see if we have a daughter. Well, another daughter. I know in my heart that Emily was mine as well. We haven't talked about it much. God, I don't blame Scully for not talking about it. How much more can she take? Besides, we can't help Emily. We need to concentrate on Elizabeth. If Elizabeth is our daughter we need to concentrate on saving her.

If Elizabeth is our daughter? Who am I kidding? Of course I believe she's our child. Scully and I are just waiting for scientific confirmation. If there was a time I never wanted to hear the truth, oh my journal, this is it. I'd like Scully to say - "Mulder, Elizabeth is not our daughter, there's been a mistake". But I know it's true, there's been no mistake. I saw her face. She's ours all right. But I never gave her to Scully and Scully never gave her to me. Elizabeth is not a product of an act of love, she's a product of a horrible experiment.

Dear God, I wish it wasn't so. I wish Scully and I had made love and created those children together. Damn it. I feel so violated. I feel Scully's violation too now more than ever. And I can understand why she's lost her faith. Who could believe in a God cruel enough to let the devil in human form do this to two little girls?

The only bright light in this entire horrible mess is that I now know that Scully loves me. I should feel joy in this knowledge. If I could think straight I might. Did I mention how dead I feel? Tired. Dead tired. No, just dead inside. Yeah. I think I did somewhere up above. And why am I less than ecstatic about knowing Scully loves me? Well, maybe it's because I had to read about it on a pitiful piece of yellow legal paper that she accidentally left behind in my apartment.

She wrote: "I want to surrender myself to him the way I heard him surrender himself to me. A fire ignited some where inside me in that perverse moment and I can't seem to extinguish it." And you know what - I don't even know what she's talking about. All she told me was Marita Covarrubias jerked me off and harvested my sperm. How romantic! I mean, that was humiliating enough. Why in God's name did she write those words and what in the hell really happened to me? Perverse moment? Wonderful! Can I humiliate myself any further? Hey, give me time - I'm sure I can top my last performance. And speaking of performances, you know what? I'm sure Alfred Hitchcock could have made a better film out of all this shit without even trying. "Spermbound," starring Fox Mulder and Marita Covarrubias. Christ - that's pathetic. I'm sorry.

I have to talk to Scully about finding that journal entry. I have to do it soon. I love her and now I can't remain mute any longer. We have to confront everything. No more denials and no more shutting it all away behind our professional ethics. I can't take it any more and I don't think she can either. We're going to need to be strong now and we can be stronger together than apart. I have to talk to Scully about finding that journal entry. Oh, I said that all ready, didn't I? Christ. I read this last sentence 3 times before I realized I'd written the same words at the start of this paragraph. Well, I guess I know those words are true, don't I? It's almost 10 PM. Scully's got to come down here soon. I'm locking this up for the night. That's it for now, dear journal. I'll stash you in my desk tonight. I don't know when we'll talk again. I'll come back and get you later. Cross your fingers. I'd say pray but.....yeah, right. Good night.

XxX

TUESDAY, JANUARY 20, 10 PM, FBI HEADQUARTERS

Scully sighed heavily as she placed the metal box containing the vials of blood she'd been working on deep in the back of one of the lab's many unused cabinets. She moved a bunch of paper towels in front of the box to further hide it from view. She removed the combination lock from her gym bag and placed it around the handles of the cabinet. She was relatively sure almost no one came into this room any more except for spare paper towels, but she wasn't about to leave anything to chance.

She walked out of the room and spied the keys to it hanging on a peg in the other room of the lab. She smiled. The lab tech had been in a hurry to get to his date and forgot them. She crossed the room quickly and picked them up, returning to lock up the room and deposited the keys in her bag. The lab tech wouldn't miss the keys. Scully had every intention of returning long before he got there at 9 AM. In fact, she intended to return as soon as she got Mulder to go home. She turned out the lights and made her way to the elevator.

Scully entered the office and Mulder was sitting in front of his computer with his back to the door. His screen saver was running. Scully walked over to his desk, as she drew closer she heard the sound of light snoring. She forced a weak smile.

She laid a hand on his shoulder, "Mulder wake up."

He started and spun in the chair. He grabbed her arms, then realizing who she was, he relaxed but didn't let go. "What time is it, Scully?"

"Around 10. I got a lot done but there is still a couple of hours worth of work to complete. Why don't you go on home? I'll finish up and let you know what I found in the morning."

"Hell no." Mulder said flatly.

"Wha.."

"Scully, you're dead on your feet. You got no sleep last night and you've not eaten since that rice cake you had 6 hours ago. I'm taking you home."

"Mulder I need to finish..."

"You can finish it in the morning. Let's go down and make sure it's all locked up safe and sound, but you can come back early tomorrow morning and finish it. It will keep."

"I already have," she replied tiredly. She knew Mulder was right. She reached into her pocket absent-mindedly and fingered the keys she'd pilfered earlier. She made a mental note to make sure they got back to their peg before 9 AM the following morning.

Mulder looked her in the eyes. He desperately wanted to talk to her about the piece of her journal entry he'd found that morning. They needed to talk about it, especially in light of all the things that were going on. They needed one another's strength.

He gripped her shoulders, "Scully, let me take you home. There's something we need to talk about."

XxX

LATER, DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT

Scully turned the key in her apartment's lock and pushed the door open with effort. Mulder reached over her shoulder and helped her to push it further inward.

"Thanks, Mulder," she said her back to his chest. She sagged against him, "Mulder, I AM SO tired," she sighed.

Mulder touched her shoulder for a moment and then Scully walked a bit further into the apartment.

"Yeah, me too Scully," Mulder agreed, running his hand through his hair, "Maybe I should go, and let you get some rest," he added staring into her face as she turned to look at him. Mulder knew he didn't want to leave. He needed to talk to Scully desperately now and going home was really the last thing he wanted to do.

Scully's brow furrowed, "Mulder, you're the one who suggested we needed to talk. I agreed. Come in. Let me take your coat."

Mulder followed her in and shrugged out of his long winter coat as Scully opened the coat closet. She took her coat off and hung it up inside. Mulder handed her his coat and she did the same. Mulder stood watching as Scully bent over and removed her shoes, slowly, one at a time.

"God, her feet must be killing her," he thought in sympathy as Scully tossed her heels into the bottom of the closet.

"Mulder?" she said glancing up at him. Mulder raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, don't stand on ceremony, you might as well be comfortable," she replied gesturing towards his feet.

"Oh, OK," Mulder gave her a tired, lopsided grin. He reached down and pulled his shoes off without even untying them. He had to work to get the right shoe off and wobbled around a bit on his left leg before he tossed the shoe next to it's mate in the closet.

Mulder looked at his shoes lying next to Scully's shoes with a sigh. The site made a pleasant, warm picture for him, but it also made him nervous again as he contemplated the discussion ahead.

Suddenly, Scully was snorting in a vain attempt to suppress her laughter.

Mulder looked over at her, a bemused smile on his face, "What?" he asked confused because he was obviously not in on the joke.

Scully was looking down at his feet. Mulder glanced down and then he laughed as well. Both his socks had holes in them and his big toes were poking out through the material.

"Well, what can I say, my Mom hasn't dressed me in years," Mulder chuckled.

"And the words needle and thread aren't in your vocabulary?" Scully teased.

"Naw, but *circular file* is. That's usually where I put these things when they get in this condition," Mulder retorted wriggling his toes for emphasis.

Scully raised an eyebrow but her tired grin was still firmly in place.

"Look, Mulder would you like some tea or I might even have some iced tea. Why don't you go sit on the couch? I can get you whatever you'd like," Scully offered.

Mulder studied her pale, taut face. He could tell she was trying to stall for time, trying to postpone the inevitable. Well, he'd give her a break. He still had to gather his thoughts a little anyway, "Yeah, I'd like some hot tea actually, but nothing with caffeine. I need to get some sleep later myself."

"I have some herbal tea."

"That would be great," Mulder agreed. He headed over to the couch as Scully walked towards the kitchen. A thought struck Mulder, "Oh, and could you put some honey in that Scully?"

She took her tailored business suit coat off on the way and tossed it over the back of a chair. "Sure Mulder."

Mulder crossed to the couch and took off his jacket as well, placing it over the couch's arm. He loosened his tie and sat down with a thump.

Scully pulled out the box of Celestial Seasonings Sleepy Time Tea from it's cabinet over the stove and placed it near her microwave. She stopped a moment and leaned against the counter, slightly dizzy. She blinked her eyes. There was only one advantage to her fatigue as far as she could see. It helped to blunt the fact that she dreaded having to talk to Mulder about Elizabeth. The whole idea of talking to him about anything significant at this point filled her with alarm. She knew she was near collapse and she just couldn't face dredging up all the days events. She understood that they probably needed to formulate some kind of battle plan to deal with the Smoking Man but the effort of even thinking about the necessity was making her head spin.

Also, Scully knew where any discussion would end up as well. They would have to face the significance of Elizabeth in their lives, how to save her if possible, and ultimately where her and Mulder's relationship should go from here. She knew what she wanted to say to Mulder regarding that last question.

Despite being almost dead on her feet she knew she still felt attracted to him and the idea of confronting those feelings right now in her condition terrified her. There wasn't much she could do about the situation, however. She had agreed to talk, Mulder was sitting out on the couch, and she probably couldn't forestall the inevitable any longer. She pulled out two cups from the cabinet, filled them with water, and placed them in the microwave.

Mulder rubbed his eyes with his hands as he waited for Scully to return. He had decided to begin talking about Elizabeth. He did really want to reassure Scully that he believed she might be their daughter. He also wanted to come up with the start of a plan to help their child, and to thwart whatever Machiavellian horrors Cancer Man had devised for all of them. But Mulder was having trouble thinking about any of those issues at the moment. Part of this was due to his fatigue and worry for Scully. The other part was due to the folded up piece of paper contained in his wallet. He would have to get to the journal entry tonight. His defenses were so low however, that the thought made him shake.

"OK, Mulder, watch it, this is hot," Scully was saying as she came up behind him. Mulder jumped slightly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," Scully hastened to apologize. She placed a mug near his hand, "I couldn't find any honey, it's on my shopping list, but I did put some sugar in it."

"Hey, that's great," Mulder smiled as she sat down on the couch next to him. Both sipped the tea for a moment and then Mulder took the plunge.

"Listen, Scully, for what it's worth, I really do believe that Elizabeth could be our daughter. I mean, God, her face. When I got that first glimpse of her I thought it could have been Samantha in that bed."

"She does resemble your sister, Mulder and.."

"Yeah she bears a superficial resemblance to Sam, but hell, Scully, she looks more like you and me than my sister. Christ - she even has your eyes."

Scully sighed and put her mug down. She reached over and touched Mulder's arm, "I know, Mulder. She looks even more like a child of ours might look than the little girl in my dream. If she isn't our daughter then I don't have an explanation for what's going on here at all anymore."

"Yeah, well, I think the explanation is hiding behind a fucking cloud of cigarette smoke, Scully. What the hell are we going to do about that asshole?" Mulder sighed putting his mug down as well, "Ah, screw it. Listen, we're both beat. I know we should talk about what to do about Cancer Man and Elizabeth. We need a plan of attack here Scully, but God, I can barely put two thoughts together," Mulder replied looking over into Scully's eyes.

He was shocked again to see her pinched, strained face, and lackluster expression. He almost didn't want to talk to her about anything else tonight especially the journal entry. It just didn't seem fair. She needed so desperately to rest.

Before he thought better of it he reached out his hand and stroked her cheek. Scully leaned into his hand for a second, but then she pulled away from him to pick her mug up again.

Mulder watched her reaction tension in his jaw. Before he could reconsider his words he said, "Scully I have something else I need to talk to you about."

"What, Mulder?" she asked dully, hesitating to pick up the mug.

"This," he replied taking out his wallet. He withdrew the folded up paper and placed it on the coffee table in front of them, "Scully, lastnight, when you stayed in my apartment after my self-induced flashback, well, I guess you left this there. I think it must be some kind of journal entry. I just picked it up, and...I'm sorry..." he let his voice trail off. "Damn it, I'm not handling this very well," he thought as Scully's trembling hand picked up the paper and unfolded it. he began to read. Scully put a hand to her mouth, "Oh my God," she thought as she read the lines.

"I also felt an immense sense of guilt for not telling him what that woman did to him."

"I have to eventually, it's not right not too. But now we need our strength and I have to be strong for Mulder and I have to keep him strong."

"I want to surrender myself to him the way I heard him surrender himself to me. A fire ignited some where inside me in that perverse moment and I can't seem to extinguish it."

"Mulder..." she began. She wouldn't look up at him and her hands still shook.

"No, Scully. I need you to give me an explanation, not an excuse. I need you to tell me what I said and did during that flashback. Please, I, I'm begging you all right?" he asked her miserably. He passed a hand over his face.

Scully looked at his face then and she saw the look of utter humiliation that he felt. "Oh no," she thought, and she drew close and gathered Mulder into her arms. She rocked him gently and he sagged against her.

"Scully, tell me, I have to know," he whispered against her breasts.

"Mulder, when you were having the flashback, you...Well, it became obvious that Marita was somehow making you think I was with you when, that we were..Oh, Mulder you thought you were making love to me when Marita was harvesting your sperm. I couldn't stop watching. You called out my name and Oh God, I wanted it to be true, I wanted it to be me, I've always wanted it to be me!" Weak tears began to leak from the corners of Dana Scully's eyes.

"Oh, Scully," Mulder rose up and looked into her face. He took one look and he knew. Through her tears, her pain, her exhaustion, and her fear he knew. She loved him. Dear God in heaven she wanted and needed him as much as he wanted and needed her, "Oh, God, Scul...Dana, I love you," Mulder replied huskily.

"Mulder, please, I...hold me," Scully whispered. Mulder took her into his arms and rested her head against his neck. He had done this so many times before over the last few weeks but now it took on a whole new meaning for them both. His heart pounded in his chest and his hands shook as he stroked her hair. "God, she, this feels so good," he thought. Gradually, Mulder felt her stop crying.

Scully could feel Mulder's heart hammering beneath her cheek. She had been so tired only moments ago but now her body began to respond to Mulder. She could barely believe it was happening. But, oh Lord, she wanted it to happen. Her heart was pounding to match his beat for beat. She stroked the spot next to where her head rested and idly touched her cross where it lay beneath Mulder's shirt. She smoothed the material of his shirt front down, and then she sat up and looked him in the eyes.

There was a desire in the depths of Mulder's sad hazel eyes that Scully had seen so many times recently but until almost that very moment had never wanted to chance reciprocating. But now she desired him as much as he desired her. She wanted to make love to him. She wanted his warmth and his gentleness, his caring, and...

"Scully, I, I'd like to kiss you," Mulder whispered, instantly interrupting her thoughts.

Scully reached up and touched his cheek, "I love you, Mulder," she replied quietly.

Mulder touched his fingers to her lips after she spoke. He stroked her bottom lip slowly and sensuously. Scully let her lips part slightly and Mulder bent to press a gentle kiss to her lips. Scully opened her mouth further and eagerly accepted Mulder's questing tongue.

The movement of Mulder's mouth over hers was so erotic that Scully could barely breathe. She became incredibly hot. She felt like someone had thrown her into orbit around the sun, except it wasn't the sun, the hot body she was circling was Fox Mulder.

Mulder reveled in Scully's taste and smell and the warmth of her body through her tailored blouse and skirt. He deepened the kiss and Scully moaned into his mouth.

They began to touch each other then, exploring their bodies through their conservative G-man and G-woman clothing.

Mulder held Scully's face with his right hand as his left cupped and tenderly stroked one of her breasts and then the other. He could feel her taut nipples through her bra and he rubbed each in turn with a slow, circular motion.

Scully pulled his tongue deeper into her mouth as she mimicked the movement of his hands with her own tongue. She stroked his chest with both her hands seeking out his hard, male nipples. She teased each in turn and Mulder's breath began to quicken. Scully glanced down as she let her hands trail lower on Mulder's body. When she reached the zipper on his slacks she pulled it open with one deft motion. She heard Mulder's intake of breath as she insinuated one hand though his fly. She gently touched his penis, and then she began to trail her fingers along it. She looked up into Mulder's face as she began finally to stroke his length.

Mulder pinned Scully's eyes with his. "Her eyes are so beautiful," he thought, "so beautiful." But Christ they looked so tired despite her arousal his mind realized in a rush. He could almost lose himself in her blue eyes if it wasn't for the fact that deep down in them there was a mixture of fear and exhaustion still lurking. He watched her face as she began to increase the pumping motion of her hand. He felt what she as doing but, then he began to realize something else.

He wasn't getting hard. Obviously, Dana Scully wasn't the only one seated on that couch who was suffering from bone numbing exhaustion. As much as Mulder desired it, there was no way he was going to be able to get an erection. He sighed. "Scully, Jesus. I love you..." he whispered with as much tenderness as he could put into his voice. Then he reached down, grasped her hand, and pulled it from between his legs.

"Mulder, what's wrong?" Scully whispered in concern. For one horrible moment she thought Mulder was thinking about Marita and what she had done to him.

"Scully, I, I just can't do this. God, I, I want to make love to you more than anything in the world right now. But, I guess I'm too tired. I can't get hard, OK, it's just not going to happen. I'm sorry," he looked down at the hand that held hers. He drew it up and kissed her palm. He released her hand and looked down at his lap.

"Oh, Mulder..." Scully replied in a quiet voice, "I...Oh," she didn't know what to say.

"Hey, it's all right, I've, well, this has happened to me a couple of times before, it'll pass. I just need to get some sleep. Shit," he cursed, "I feel like an asshole - why didn't I stop myself, how could I let myself make you...God, are you all right, I mean I can..."

"Mulder, no, it, it's all right. I'll be fine. I can wait for us to be together. I want us both to experience our love when the time's right. Don't worry about tonight, it won't make any difference later. I love you, that's all that matters right now." Scully replied gently. She touched his hand, picked it up, and rubbed his fingers between her own.

"God, I love you too, Scully," Mulder replied as he sank back against the seat cushions.

"Mulder, why don't you just hold me here on the couch. We can go to sleep. I want to fall asleep in your arms. I know I can rest if you're holding me," Scully gently whispered.

"All right, Scully," Mulder replied. He took a couple of the throw pillows and put them next to the couch arm. Then he lay back and motioned for Scully to join him. She snuggled in close next to the front of his body and they spooned together.

"It's lucky this couch is wide enough for two," Mulder said kissing her hair.

"Hey, I have some knowledge of practical interior decorating you know," Scully chuckled.

Mulder snorted with humor and draped an arm protectively over her middle. Scully hugged his arm close. She cuddled against him. Her breathing became slow and regular. She let out a small sigh.

Mulder stroked her hair, "Scully, I'm so terribly sorry about, about our daughter. I would want to have a daughter like her with you, Scully. She, she's beautiful just like her Mother. Please try not to worry...Oh, my sweet angel. Christ, I love you, Dana. Go to sleep, just relax, let me hold you, I'm here, I..." but he soon stopped talking because it became obvious that Dana Scully was fast asleep.

XxX

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 21, 6 AM, DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT

Scully's eyes popped open when she heard a sigh next to her. After a couple of seconds of sheer disorientation, she realized she was lying on her couch insinuated next to her partner's lanky frame. She smiled.

Scully managed to sit up without waking him. She took a moment to study his face. He seemed so peaceful when he was sleeping. His jaw was slack and his lips had fallen open. He was breathing softly. She hated to wake him, but she had no choice, she had to go to work and finish the tests she'd begun the day before.

She brought one of her small hands up and ran it across his bare chest. He'd managed to lose his dress shirt and slacks about an hour after they'd initially fallen asleep. She'd gotten up long enough to slip into an oversized t-shirt. She'd offered to move them both to the bedroom and he'd made some joke about only being able to sleep on the couch.

"Mulder."

"Mmmm, that's nice Scully."

She giggled a little bit, he was still really out of it. "Mulder, I've got to get up."

"No, five more minutes," he grumbled and then reached up and pulled her down to him. His eyes popped open. "Hi." Their noses were just inches apart.

"Mulder," she threatened, "I have to get back to the lab."

"Oh," he said suddenly sobering. He kissed her on the cheek but she turned her head and kissed his lips. She kissed him a little longer than she should have. It was a struggle to back away.

Scully awkwardly climbed over him. "You can sleep awhile longer, but I've got to get to work. I want to go back to the medical center as soon as possible. I really didn't get a good look at Elizabeth's chart."

Mulder reached out and grabbed her hand and placed a warm kiss inside her palm. Scully ruffled his hair. She walked into her bedroom and a thought struck her. She walked around the bed and picked up the phone on the nightstand. She reached over to her discarded jacket she'd brought into her room the previous evening. She fumbled a piece of paper out of one of the pockets. She dialed the number written on the paper.

"Geneteco Medical Center."

"Yes, I need to speak with the nurse on duty on the third floor please."

"One moment, I'll connect you."

"Nurse McCallister."

"Nurse McCallister this is Dana Scully, we met yesterday. I wanted to know how Elizabeth was doing this morning."

"She's fine Ms. Scully. I just checked on her a few minutes ago. Will you and your husband be visiting her again today?"

"I think so. Nurse McCallister, do you still have the number I gave you as we were leaving yesterday?"

"Yes, I promise I'll call you the moment Elizabeth's condition changes, if it changes. I know you're very worried, but we are doing all we can for her Ms. Scully."

"I'm sure you are."

XxX

FOUR HOURS LATER, FBI HEADQUARTERS.

Mulder tapped a pencil against the legal pad on his desk. He checked his watch for the third time in the last minute. "God, where is she?" he grumbled aloud. He dropped the pencil on the desk and stood. He began to pace.

Scully asked that he not be in the lab for the procedures she needed to finish. She didn't want to draw any unnecessary attention to what she was doing. If she was alone and he wasn't hovering it would look like she was doing routine tests. Mulder had begrudgingly agreed.

He stopped pacing and stared at the "I Want To Believe" poster behind his desk. Mulder did want to believe. He wanted to believe he and Scully had a child. In a small way, the thought of being a parent frightened him. But the thought of being a parent with Scully made him immensely happy.

Despite his nerves about the tests his partner was performing, he'd been deliriously happy since the previous evening. Mulder felt like a weight had been lifted from them both now that their feelings were out in the open. He smiled. He heard the door open behind him and he spun, expecting to see Scully.

Instead, he saw the red glow of cigarette ash.

"What the fuck do you want?" Mulder spat.

"Now, now Agent Mulder. Temper, temper. I trust you've been to see your daughter by now."

Mulder was a little shocked the Morley sucking bastard came straight to the point.

"Yes," Mulder growled, "we've seen the child you claim to be our daughter."

The Smoker laughed. "I also assume Agent Scully's absence means she's off performing the odd test or two to determine the veracity of my claims. She's about to learn I'm telling the truth. But that's not important. I'm here to give you some further information, Agent Mulder."

Mulder crossed his arms across his chest, "I'm listening," he said tersely.

"I told you the child was dying. The hospital is about to run out of the plasma serum I provided them with to keep her at her current level of health. When that runs out she'll die. I don't think either of us want that to happen. I'm here to make you a deal, Mulder. If you agree, I won't replace the serum, I'll merely give the child the cure she needs to survive. But, of course, there is a price."

Mulder's jaw tensed. "What?" he bit out.

"Agent Scully has an implant in the back of her neck, but you know all about that," he drolled smugly, "I think it's time you shared that experience with her, Mulder. You allow us to put a chip in your neck, we allow the child to live. It's really quite simple."

"And what happens if I allow you to put this chip in my neck, aside from your claims to heal the child?" Mulder spat.

"That I can't tell you, Mulder. But I think you already have some idea of how those chips can be used," a sinister smile crossed his lips.

Just then, Scully entered the office. She froze in her tracks when she saw The Smoker. She hastily placed the DNA charts in her hands on the filing cabinet next to the door. She crossed her arms across her chest and stood defiantly in the doorway.

"What the hell is he doing here?" She hissed.

The Smoker took a long drag off of his cigarette and squinted at her. "I'm merely offering your partner a chance to save your daughter's life Agent Scully. She IS your daughter. I would imagine those little negatives you just tried to hide prove my point."

Scully remained silent and merely glared at him. The Smoker turned back to Mulder. "You have 24 hours to decide Mulder." He pulled a piece of paper from his jacket and placed it on Mulder's desk. "Call this number when you make your decision. But you better hurry, those doctors have no idea what they're dealing with."

The Smoker turned and walked toward the door. He stopped next to Scully and stared at her for a long moment. Scully shrank away from him.

"Good day, Agent Scully," he said and walked out the door. Scully looked at her feet.

"Is he right, Scully?"

Scully reached behind her and took the negatives off the filing cabinet. She crossed the room and placed them on his desk. She slipped one chart under the other and pointed to a series of blobs on the negative.

"These are DNA markers. The one on top is my DNA, the one on bottom is Elizabeth's." Scully pointed to a series of the blobs that looked just alike. "These markers indicate Elizabeth is my daughter." She shuffled Elizabeth's negative out from her own and placed it under the third negative. "The top sheet is your DNA." She pointed to another set of alike blobs. "These markers indicate you're Elizabeth's father." Scully dropped the sheets back onto his desk.

Mulder put his hands on Scully's shoulders. "I...I don't even know how to react. I mean, were this any other circumstance, I'd be so happy but Scully..."

"Mulder, she is our child. But she was born of some sick experiment, not out of love...you know what I mean...I don't know how to react either. I know we have to do all we can to find out what's wrong with her. She doesn't deserve what's happening to her." She paused and looked into his eyes. "What was all that about having 24 hours to decide, Mulder?"

Mulder tensed and dropped his hands from Scully's shoulders. He turned away from her and walked over toward the corner of their office. He had to get some space from her. He was scared to death of her reaction. Scully would never go for this, how could he tell her? Yet he dare not lie. There was a good chance this little procedure The Smoker suggested would kill him. He balled his fists.

"We do have to do all we can for her Scully. I'm going to do just that very thing," he bit out.

"What are you talking about Mulder...look at me."

Mulder spun to face her. He tried to keep his face neutral but his eyes betrayed him. She started to walk towards him but he held up his hands and she stopped. "The Smoker offered me a deal Scully. I have a chip put in my neck, he'll give Elizabeth the cure she needs."

"And you TRUST him?" Scully asked incredulously.

"Scully, he cured you why should I doubt him?"

"Because he never does anything without personal gain. We have no idea what the chip he gave you to put in my neck will do! We have less of an idea what one in your neck will do. Why should both of us be compromised?"

"To save Elizabeth's life, Scully!" Mulder yelled.

She crossed the room until she was standing in front of him and she pushed him against the wall.

"Fox Mulder you are NOT going to have this done. For all I know he's going to try to kill you and I'm not going to trade one life for another," she yelled back.

"YOU aren't going to trade one life for another. It's MY fucking life Scully. Who are you to make such a decision for me?" he spat bitterly, "I'll do whatever I damn well please, Dana. This is MY daughter we're talking about here."

"OUR daughter," she shouted raising her hands away from him, "Fuck you, Mulder. You think I'm being selfish for trying to save your life? I don't want to let either of you die. Why can't you let me try to find a cure?"

"Scully, we don't have time for you to do all the work..."

"Oh, my methods are too slow to take a chance on," she moved totally away from him, her fists balled at her sides.

"Scully! You know I have the utmost faith in you, but I think this is bigger than we are, I think we're both outclassed here."

"Now who's the HYPOCRITE!? How dare you stand there and tell me you have faith in me in the same breath you're telling me you can't trust me to find a cure..."

"I never said..."

The jangling of the phone on Mulder's desk interrupted his thought. He crossed the room and jerked the phone off it's cradle.

"Mulder...yes sir, I'll be right up." He hung up the phone. "I have to go see Skinner, we'll talk about this later." He turned and put his jacket on.

"Where the hell do you think you're going, we aren't finished here Mulder!"

"I said, LATER," Mulder yelled as he stormed out the door.

Scully picked up the coffee mug on his desk and hurled it after him. It mashed against the door frame and shattered into a million pieces.

Scully slumped to the floor.

XxX

APPROXIMATELY 11 AM, OUTSIDE A.D. WALTER SKINNER'S OFFICE

Mulder strode towards Assistant Director Skinner's office with his head down. He wasn't really looking at anything except the tops of his shoes as he struggled to control his anger. "Just breath in, and out, in, and out," he admonished himself.

He bumped into what was to him a nameless and faceless fellow agent, and he ricocheted off him, spinning away but never straying from his course.

"Excuse me, Mulder," the Agent said, and then, when there was no response, "Hey, Spooky?"

The man's question didn't even register on Mulder's radar as he continued on in his self-absorbed way. "Count to 10, 1, breath in, 2, breath out, 3..." he kept repeating in time to the cadence of his feet.

As he neared Skinner's office he almost had himself under control.e looked up at last to get his bearings. Sharon, Skinner's secretary wasn't at her desk. Mulder raised an eyebrow. He couldn't remember the last time he hadn't seen Sharon at her desk. Skinner's door was open also.

"What's wrong with this picture?" Mulder thought as he moved towards the doorway. Just as he reached the opening, there was a loud thwack and then Skinner swore.

"Fuck him and the horse he road in on!"

Mulder stood in the doorway, his eyes grew wide and both eyebrows shot up. Skinner stood behind his desk. The room was empty except for the Assistant Director, but Mulder could smell the cigarette smoke. "I can even see that bastard's toxic cloud in there," Mulder thought. <What the hell is going on here?> Mulder felt renewed anger flooding his chest. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat.

Skinner looked up instantly from the point on his desk where he had thrown his glasses. He was rubbing the bridge of his nose, "Mulder, come in and shut the damn door," he ordered, shutting his eyes.

Mulder took two steps forward and with a forceful shove slammed the door shut with a tremendous crash. Skinner jumped as if he'd been shot. His head jerked round. He caught Mulder's eyes, and Mulder glared at him. Mulder tried to gauge Skinner's thoughts but the Assistant Director's face was set in stone.

"Agent Mulder, sit down please," Skinner commanded, his voice tight as he picked up his glasses. He nodded towards the chair in front of his desk.Mulder stood immobile.

"Sit down, Mulder," Skinner rumbled.

"Sir, I'd rather stand," Mulder stiffly replied.

Skinner finished putting on his glasses and then he fixed Mulder with a piercing stare. His eyes resembled cold steel.

"I said sit down, Agent Mulder."

Mulder moved towards Skinner's desk. His entire body was like a coiled spring. He pulled the chair out that Skinner had indicated for him to sit in and threw it to the side. It tipped over and hit the floor with a loud thud.

"No, sir, I will not sit down," Mulder hissed as his face turned red. His neck muscles tightened and he balled up his fists. His next words came out in a rush and his voice rose an octave with every syllable, "I demand to know what that cowardly piece of shit was doing up here. Why is it that that cancer stick smoking son of a bitch always seems to show up in your office...sir? I mean just why is that really? Would you do me a favor and just tell me so I won't have to sit in here with my thumb up my ass for once? Would you mind telling me, sir? *Enquiring* minds want to know!"

Skinner's face flushed crimson. He took three short strides around the desk and grabbed Mulder by his coat lapels. Skinner pulled Mulder close and shouted into his face, "YOU DEMAND, MISTER? WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO DEMAND ANYTHING OF ME YOU LITTLE SHIT?"

Mulder twisted in Skinner's grasp and yelled back, "The fact that he's trying to kill my daughter gives me the right you bald-headed, tight assed, son of..."

"THAT WILL BE QUITE ENOUGH AGENT MULDER," Skinner spat and then he threw Mulder down into the chair that the younger man hadn't tipped over. Mulder landed hard and Skinner straddled the stunned Agent as he gasped for breath. Skinner placed a hand on either arm of the chair and pressed his face close to Mulder's nose.

"Now you shut up and listen to me, you insubordinate idiot," the A.D. hissed, "I don't know what you mean by *he's trying to kill my daughter*, all right? If you'll sit there calmly I might let you explain that to me. But let me tell you this first. If you have even one infinitesimal suspicion that I might be in league with that devil you are sadly mistaken. I'm not in collusion with that cocksucker. I'm on your side Mulder. I always have been on your side, and in your and Dana Scully's corner. In point of fact I called you in here to tell you that prick just paid me a visit. And if you don't believe I'm telling the truth, then get your sorry ass up out of that chair, and take it out of my office. Go back to the basement, you faithless prick. I'm sick of dealing with your shit."

Skinner stared into Mulder's eyes for a few more seconds and then he removed his hands from the chair arms. He stood up and walked back over behind his desk and shuffled the papers on his blotter.

"Sir, Agent Scully and I have a daughter," Mulder whispered.

"What?" Skinner replied looking up, "What did you say?"

"I said Dana Scully and I have a daughter," Mulder repeated and then he sighed, "and I'm sorry I blew up, sir."

Skinner's lips tightened even further and he sat down behind his desk slowly, "Never mind the earlier histrionics, Mulder. You'd better explain what the hell you're talking about."

Mulder went through a brief explanation regarding both Elizabeth and Emily. He described what the Cigarette Smoking Man and Marita Covarrubias had done to him and Scully. He detailed as much as he knew regarding Elizabeth's and Emily's medical history. He ended by explaining about the disease that had killed Emily and now threatened to kill Elizabeth. As he talked his hands shook slightly and Skinner listened without interruption.

"Sir, Scully did a DNA test, Elizabeth is definitely our daughter. We've accepted the fact that Emily was as well. But, as I've explained neither was conceived in the way nature intended their conception to take place. Sir, for all intents and purposes that maniac raped me and Dana Scully. He created those two little girl from what he stole from us both."

"And you say Elizabeth's ill? She's also got some kind of alien DNA that's given her the same disease that killed Scully's, uh, your other daughter...Emily?" Skinner asked, "Mulder this is hard to believe," he quickly added.

"I know, sir, and I wish it wasn't true, believe me. But, you're correct. Elizabeth has the same disease and it's slowly killing her just like it killed Emily."

"God damn him," Skinner interjected in a low voice.

"I'd like to think he would, sir," Mulder replied quietly, running a hand across his mouth.

Skinner watched Mulder for a moment, and then he squinted his eyes and said, "There's one other thing I don't quite understand Agent Mulder."

"Sir?"

"Why did Cancer Man choose you as Elizabeth's biological father? I mean he could have chosen anyone, himself even. I would have thought that would have appealed to him more. He's sick enough."

Mulder studied Skinner's face and body language carefully. Everything that he saw said Skinner's question told him two things. The first was that he really didn't have anything to do with Cancer Man. If Skinner had been part of the conspiracy he would have known why Cancer Man had used Mulder's sperm. He would also have been in on the deal with the devil regarding the implant. The second thing was that Skinner had no idea that he and Scully had any type of relationship other than professional. Mulder breathed a sigh of relief.

"Sir, I have no idea. Maybe it was because I was easily accessible at the time. Maybe because I'm Scully's partner and friend. He did try to goad Scully by telling her he'd been kind enough to use the sperm from someone she knew. I don't really have any idea what was going through his mind."

"Well, It's probably going to be hard to find out the real reason Mulder, I'm sorry," Skinner replied sincerely.

"Thank you, sir. And uh, I would like to apologize for blowing up earlier. Seriously."

"Well, just try not to let it happen again, Mulder. I don't like to get physical like I did with you. It's...unprofessional."

"Not to mention one-sided," Mulder grinned slightly.

"Yeah, that's twice I've whipped your butt," Skinner quipped with a gruff chuckle.

"For what it's worth, sir," Mulder hastened to add, "I don't believe you're involved with Cancer Man. I don't think deep down that I ever did. This whole situation with Scully and Elizabeth and...well, it's been difficult, I..."

Skinner held up his hand, "Mulder, that's fine, skip it, all right. I accept your apology, let it rest. I know what you've been going through, believe me," Skinners eyes were cold as he said the last words.

"Yes, sir," Mulder replied with a nod of his head.

"Now, where are you going with this Mulder?" Skinner asked.

"Well, Scully and I have a lead to Cancer Man's whereabouts that we'd like to pursue. Also, we'd like to go back to Maryland to, uh, see... our daughter before she..." Mulder let his voice trail off. He trusted Skinner now, but he knew better than to tell him just what he really planned to do to save his daughter. He knew the A.D. wouldn't approve and if he didn't know about the implant he certainly couldn't prevent Mulder from going through with the procedure.

"All right. Fine," Skinner replied with slight embarrassment. He lowered his eyes to the papers on his desk again, and continued, "Uh, see to it that you and Agent Scully report back to me as soon as possible."

"Yes, sir," Mulder replied.

"And Mulder," Skinner added looking back up at the Agent, "I want to help you two out on this one. I'm going to pay some of my government and Bureau connections a little visit. I'll see if I can dig up any more information for you and Scully. I'll turn over every rotten rock I can to roust that cigarette smoking cockroach. I'll contact you soon with anything I find out."

"Thank you, sir. I appreciate the effort."

"Appreciation is all well and good, Mulder, but I have one additional request," Skinner asked.

"What, sir?"

"When you and Scully have that bastard dead to rights I want to be in on the coups de grace - all right. And it'll be off the record, Fox. This is payback time. I owe that fucker for making my life a living hell, and ruining my reputation with anyone I really care about. He's going to pay, and if I have to break some rules to see that he gets what he deserves, I will. Do I make myself clear?"

"As crystal, sir."

"Good. You're dismissed then, Agent Mulder. And don't slam the door on your way out.

 CONTINUED IN PART 3