TITLE: Waltz for Four in Three Quarter Time - Part II

NAME: frogdoggie

E-MAIL: frogdoggie@hotmail.com

CATEGORY: SRA

RATING: NC-17, and I mean it. This story contains SEXUAL SITUATIONS AND LANGUAGE. Romantic and erotic but nevertheless graphic. So, if you don’t like graphic stuff - STOP NOW! Forewarned is forearmed.

SUMMARY: The last in the music series, this story picks up a year after the events in "Nocturne in Black and Gold". Walter and Kim are happily married and decide to start a family. Problems occur. But never fear, there is a another happy ending. FEEDBACK - YES PLEASE, AND THANK YOU SIR, CAN I HAVE ANOTHER? Comments, suggestions and healthy debate are always welcome. Flames? I use them to roast weenies with a marshmallow chaser.

TIMESPAN/SPOILER WARNING: This is the fifth and last story in the Skinner "music" series. Obviously it's a self contained alternate universe at this point. Frogdoggie's Skinner world I guess. At any rate, all of the stories in the series can be found on my web site at: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Lair/7228/xship.htm under the index listing for Walter S. Skinner. Minor spoilers for Piper Maru and Zero Sum.

KEYWORDS: story romance Skinner Kimberly Kim Mulder Scully NC-17

DISCLAIMER: Walter Skinner, Kimberly Cook, Fox Mulder, Dana Scully as well as all other incidental X-Files characters mentioned belong to Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen Productions and 20th Century FOX Broadcasting. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit is being made from their use. 

Waltz for Four in Three Quarter Time - Part II

by frogdoggie

Monday evening 7:30 PM, March 4. A townhouse in Arlington.

The phone was ringing. Skinner could hear it through the front door as he struggled to unlock the recalcitrant dead bolt.

"I wonder if that's Fox, again?" Kimberly mused as Walter finally got the door open and they walked inside the darkened foyer. Clarence and Darrow came rushing out to greet them from the softly lit living room beyond. Kimberly deactivated the silent alarm and shut the front door.

"Ill answer it and find out. Why don't you find out which piece of furniture has the cat hair on it," Walter chuckled as Kim knelt down to play with both felines. She laughed and then followed as Walter walked into the living room. Skinner picked up the cordless phone receiver from the coffee table. Kimberly bent and picked up first Clarence for some hugging, and then putting him down, she took Darrow in her arms. Walter tabbed the *Phone* button.

"Skinner," he said out of force of habit and then he amended it, "sorry, this is the Skinner residence."

"Walter, this is Jackson," the doctor's voice quavered into his ear. Just the sound of those few words uttered in a tone of tense worry made all the hairs on the back of Walter's neck stand on end. Years of experience told him something was coming on. Something unpleasant.

"Yes," he replied glancing at Kimberly, "can you hold a minute, please?"

"Yes," came Jackson's clipped reply.

Walter muted the phone and caught Kim's eyes as she placed the purring Darrow down on the couch.

"Kim - this is uh, work. Peterson with some more Garibaldi fall-out. I'm going to take it in the study," he smiled, hoping his face looked more convincing than he felt inside. He had a creeping chill going up his spine. The chill was telling him what Jackson had to discuss with him was something he didn't want Kimberly to hear immediately. And perhaps, depending on whether his most justifiably paranoid thoughts were true - something he might never want her to hear because it would hurt her deeply.

"Oh, well that's fine..." she began, a slightly perplexed look on her face.

"I was going to make some coffee..." he added interrupting her. He wanted her to be occupied somehow and to not get suspicious. He wanted her as far away from the study as possible. An almost unreasoning dread was building in his heart and the need to protect Kim was coming along with it.

"I had the same idea," she smiled back at him gently, the puzzlement leaving her countenance. Kim walked towards him, coming around the end of the couch. "Besides I have to feed the troops," she added indicating the staring cats.

She trailed over and then as she passed him, Kim kissed Walter lightly on the cheek. Clarence and Darrow raced after her, tails waving eagerly with the prospect of dinner. Walter watched them for a few seconds and then tabbed the *Phone* button again.

"Jackson?" he hissed quietly

"Yes, Walter?"

"Hang on, I'm going to take this in the study."

xXx

Monday evening 7:30 PM, March 4, Apt. 42. Hegel Place, Arlington.

"Scully, do you want a soda, beer?" Mulder was asking as he unlocked the apartment door.

Scully stood behind him, her garment bag and carry-on bag at her feet. She yawned slightly and nodded.

"Which?" Mulder chuckled swinging the door open. He struggled to balance both his own garment bag and carry-on as he pushed the door open with his hip.

"I would not, under any circumstances, turn down a beer," Scully sighed reaching for her bags.

"Leave them I'll bring 'em in next," Mulder volunteered. Scully raised both her eyebrows.

"Hey, I'm capable of chivalry on occasion, Agent Scully - go in and help yourself. There's some Bud Light in the fridge, I think," Mulder griped but with teasing humor.

"God, Mulder don't you ever buy anything but Bud Light?" Scully teased back as Mulder took his bags in ahead of her.

"Not if it's on special at National Liquor," Mulder smirked.

Scully rolled her eyes and headed into the kitchen as Mulder threw his garment bag over one of the chairs in the living room. His carry-on made a thunk as he dropped it on the floor. He turned and went back into the hallway to retrieve Scully's bags as well. He shoved the door shut with his hip and it smacked back hard with a heavy thud. Mulder winced. Mrs. Slater was going to complain about the door again at the tenants meeting. He shrugged and headed back into the apartment.

As he brought Scully's bags in and added them to the collection on and beside the chair, Scully came up behind him. She flipped up the bottom of his t-shirt and touched a cold beer bottle to the small of his back. Mulder jumped.

"Shit!"

Scully laughed. "That's the penalty for buying Bud Light!"

She dodged out of the way as Mulder grabbed for her waist. Instead he snagged the beer bottle and laughing, tossed it onto the seat of the chair next to where their garment bags touched the seat. Scully laughed and tried to dodge past him into the kitchen but this time he caught her and pulled her close. He kissed her passionately and one of her arms wrapped around his neck while the other went limp, the beer bottle dangling down in her hand.

When they drew apart both were breathless.

"Oh. Uh...mmmm," Scully sighed.

"Yeah," Mulder smirked into her face. He thought she looked beautiful, flushed and slightly disheveled despite the fact she also looked very tired after the trip back from Baltimore, Maryland.

"I've wrecked your do," he chuckled kissing her on the forehead, and running his hand through her hair.

Scully kissed his Adam's apple in return and replied, "I'll survive."

They stood together, forehead to forehead for a few more moments. Scully considered just asking him to make love, but in truth she was tired and knew he was as a well. The best thing for them would be sleep so when they reported to Skinner tomorrow they could be fresh to...Skinner....she thought suddenly. Mulder should....

Mulder was considering asking if she'd like to make love but she did look a bit tired for any extracurricular activities. No, sleep was better. It's too bad the case had been such a bust. He had expected as much. Mulder thought it might have been more wise to stay at home and take a day or two more to do the background research before they flew off half cocked to Baltimore. Hindsight is always 20-20 vision however. But the trip had proved to be a wild goose chase as he had told Angela it more than likely would be and...Shit....Angela! AD Skinner! He had to call Walter.

"Scully I need to call Skinner."

"I was just thinking the same thing."

"Ah...as the saying goes..."

"Great minds..."

"Right," he nodded, smiling at her. They separated and Scully lifted up the beer bottle and removed the cap with a twist. She took a long swig as Mulder picked up his bottle and ambled over to his telephone.

"Mulder, I'm going to hang my stuff up," Scully advised going for her garment bag.

"K..." Mulder replied, distracted. He had noticed the small blinking red light that signified he had messages waiting.

Scully didn't say anything further. She took her garment bag and carry-on and exited the living room for Mulder's bedroom.

Mulder pressed the *Play* button on his answering machine and Skinner's earlier message played out for him. He frowned slightly and picked up the receiver. He jabbed the speed dial for Skinner and Kim's townhouse. The line was busy. He considered calling Walter's cell phone number for a second. No, it could wait for a while. He'd try again later. He nodded to confirm his decision. He twisted the cap on his own bottle, took a swig, and then went off in search of Scully.

xXx

"All right, Jackson, what is it?" Walter Skinner asked tersely as soon as he got in the study and shut the door.

"Walter we need to talk."

Skinner sighed in exasperation.

"I mean not on the phone," Jackson whispered into his end of the conversation.

Walter figured he must be at home and didn't want anyone to hear his words either. Walter wanted to press him though. He was becoming more concerned with every passing second. And he really hated unpleasant and unexpected surprises. What the devil could Jackson have to say? Was he trying to tell Walter he was indeed sterile? Bull shit - he could have told him that on the phone. No, this smelled. It really smelled of something very sinister and in his line of business that was entirely probable and highly unwelcome.

"Jackson, what the fuck is going on? If we need to talk..."

"Yes, we do. Look - do you know that neighborhood bar that's near my office?"

"Borders Tavern?"

"Yes."

"Yeah I know it."

"Is there any way you could meet me there in say...45 minutes or so?"

"At Borders? What the hell for...look...if this has something to do with my medical..."

"It does, Walter...please...this is serious. I know it's asking a lot but as a friend...can't you just meet me? Can't you just trust me?"

Trust you? Walter thought. Christ that was the crux of everything wasn't it? His whole fucking life? Who to trust. Who not to trust. The cold feeling in his guts climbed up a notch and he bent his head, the phone clenched to his ear.

"Jackson....this isn't just about Kim and I trying to have a kid is it?"

He could hear Jackson swallow hard on the other end of the line.

"No. God, I wish that was all it was about," he hissed into the phone. "Damn, I'm so sorry," he whispered again. Walter didn't know if he meant the insensitive remark or something else quite different.

The gravity of his words and Jackson's now shaking voice made Walter sure he would go. He'd hang up and go out and tell Kimberly he had to go into work. He'd lie to protect her and then he'd dash off into the night to once more whore himself for the powers of darkness. He just knew it was coming. Could feel it in his bowels. Could almost smell the Morley smoke searing his sinuses.

But he just had to make one last attempt to discover just what had panicked his old friend. Oh yeah, he had more than a suspicion now. He just wasn't sure which direction the suspicion would go and how far he would have to go into hell to find out.

"Does this have to do with Nam, Jackson or with my work? Or with something you..."

"Walter, remember all those poker games we played over there, in country?"

"Yeah," Skinner replied, confused at the conversational tangent.

"Well...I played a really big game of poker, Sinner...and I lost the pot. Yeah this is about stuff that happened in Nam, Walter. Stuff that happened to me and to you. And oh yeah, it's about "The Work" too. The fucking, son of a whore project work. So now can you just meet me at Borders?" Jackson was practically begging now. Skinner's jaws clenched tight.

"I'll be there in 30. Get a booth in the back."

The other end of the phone went dead with a hollow click.

xXx

Monday evening 8:45 PM, March 4, Apt. 42. Hegel Place, Arlington.

Mulder smiled up at Scully lazily. Ok, so they hadn't been as tired as they originally thought. Nope. Not at all! Scully sat, gloriously naked, astride his thighs, just in back of his growing erection. Yeah, he was wide awake all right. Or at least part of him was rapidly getting there.

Scully grinned down at him and ran her hands over his groin and then back down onto his balls. Mulder shut his eyes as she began to massage his scrotum.

"See. You aren't really that tired, Agent Mulder," she purred.

"Nope. I'm definitely awake now."

"Uh huh," Scully chuckled. She moved one hand onto his cock and began to pump it gently from tip to base and back again. She increased the pace until he was almost completely erect. Her other hand continued to stroke his balls most tantalizingly.

"S'good," he grunted as she took some of his pre-cum and massaged it around the head of his cock. She brought both hands up and slicked his whole length down towards the base again. Repetition of this process had him gasping.

"Oooh...yeah," Mulder exclaimed, looking up into her face. She licked her lower lip and he was almost undone at the sight. His cock twitched in her hands and she smirked down at him. He was very hard now, and he wanted her, but she was still in a playful mood. He could match that game.

Mulder reached up and stroked over her breasts with one hand. His other hand moved lower and he found her clit. He began to massage it. Scully breathed heavily and stopped the movement of her hands as she savored the sensations of his fingers caressing her nipples and the sensitive swollen flesh between her legs. He kept working her until she was bucking into his hand. Every sinuous movement of her hips caused her to bump his hand against his own hard-on. It was almost too much for him. He gulped down some saliva, and then he spoke.

"Scully..." he whispered.

"Yessss," she hissed in pleasure.

"Fuck me."

"Oh yeah," she smiled.

She moved forward and shifted up. Mulder took one hand away from her breast and steadied his cock for her. He kept his other hand on her clit and mons, massaging continuously as she sank down on him slowly.

"Oh God..." she moaned once and then she was well seated, flush against his balls.

They stilled around each other for a moment. Scully gently caressed his stomach.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," Mulder replied as quietly, taking her hips in his hands. As Scully began to move up and then down on him Mulder thought distantly about calling....about...he was supposed to call Walter. But the thought was driven from his mind as he groaned loudly, and arched up to meet his lover's pumping hips.

xXx

Monday evening 8:45 PM, March 4, Near Border's Tavern.

Walter Skinner gripped the steering wheel in anger, frustration and fear. Yeah he was afraid. So what? He was more angry though. Angry and disgusted with himself. He had hung up the phone, left the study, gone into the kitchen and told Kimberly he had to go into work. He'd lied to her face and told her that Peterson needed him regarding some touchy evidence in the Garibaldi case. And of course she believed him because she trusted him. It made him sick to his stomach.

To top it all off, he had lied to her again a moment ago. He lied when he called her on his cell phone and assured her he had arrived at the Hoover Building safely. "I'll call you later, honey," he'd said. He should be shot. He really should be shot.

Now he was about to pull into a parking place in front of Border's Tavern and put *his* trust in a man who it seems had quite possibly betrayed him in a very basic way. Walter tried to still his thoughts enough so that he wouldn't go ballistic the moment he saw Jackson Fuller. It wasn't easy, but by the time he was parked and had the ignition off he was somewhat more serene. He exited the car, activated his alarm and walked the short distance to the Tavern door. He checked his Glock where it rested in its holster at his waist, and reached for the Taverns door handle.

Inside...

The Tavern was dark. Not much smoke and it wasn't too crowded yet. Skinner was glad that was the case. He scanned the crowd and quickly spotted Jackson Fuller signaling him from a booth way in the back. Walter stalked forward. When he reached the booth he slid in quickly, not even bothering to remove his trench.

Jackson wouldn't look at him immediately. His eyes were on the one waitress working the night shift. Walter sat patiently but his nerves ratcheted up a notch. He clenched and unclenched his jaw muscles as he studied Fuller's ashen gray complexion.

"You want a drink, Walter?" Fuller asked, gesturing for the waitress to come over.

"No, I'm driving," Skinner replied tersely.

Fuller looked at him at last, and barked a bitter laugh.

"Fine. But you might want to reconsider that in a minute," he answered, shaking his head in dismay.

Before Walter could reply the waitress was at the booth.

"What can I get for you, gentlemen?" she smiled down at them.

"Whiskey, Jack Daniel's, neat," Fuller replied.

"And you sir?" the waitress asked.

"You have coffee?"

"Regular or decaf?"

"Regular, black."

"Coming right up," the waitress smiled again and left their side.

"Some things don't change," Walter finally said.

"What?" Jackson asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Jack Daniel's...you've been drinking it as long as I've known you," Walter replied quietly. Jackson's face twisted and he reached his hand across the table to grip Walter's where it rested between them.

Skinner flinched but held steady.

"Walter...I've done a terrible thing. An...an inhuman act to a man that I...that I consider one of my closest friends in this world. I can't ask for your forgiveness...but...if you could find it in your heart..."

Skinner extricated his hand from the African American doctor's grip. Once again just as he was about to speak the waitress returned with their beverages.

"Thank you," Jackson husked at her, his voice hoarse with emotion. I...I'd like to start a tab."

"All right, Dr. Fuller," she smiled back. Evidently Jackson was a regular here. Skinner could believe it under the circumstances now. Jesus, this was bad though. Jackson was a recovered alchoholic...he shouldn't be...not...Skinner's objections were stilled when the doctor returned his attention to him. Skinner spoke.

"Let's cut to the chase Jackson. I can't forgive anything if I don't understand what the hell is going on here."

Jackson took a quick swig of his whiskey and closed his eyes for a moment to compose himself. He placed the glass back down on the table top with a tiny clink. Walter watched him as he replied.

"Walter...I'm going to tell you some ancient history here - some history I wish had remained history. Can you let me get it out without interrupting? It's going to be hard enough without stopping to answer questions."

"I can try."

"Ok. I'll answer any questions at the end if I can answer them. I promise you that."

"Fine."

"All right then. As you are very much aware - I was a corpsman in Nam. I was the corpsman who road with you on that Evac chopper back to the MASH unit after you'd been wounded."

"After I'd been killed. You brought me back, Fuller."

Fuller waved a hand in dismissal at the comment.

"Oh sure. Yeah, well, I did. I thank God for that now, Sinner. But then...I can assure you my efforts to keep you alive were less than noble."

Skinner just stared at him. He knew he wasn't going to like any of this story. He nodded grimly and Jackson continued.

"One day, months before I ever road in that Chopper with you, three middle aged guys showed up in the MASH unit. Civilians - but suits. I could tell they were government spooks right away. I think you might know them - or at least one of them," Jackson whispered, moving closer across the table.

"Chain smoker?" Skinner asked, tense.

"Right. Fucking Morley smoking son of Satan that one," Fuller hissed.

Skinner's guts spasmed. Ok. Suspicion confirmed. Now he had to hang on. To get a firm grip for that descent into hell that was coming.

"Go on..." he prompted Jackson as the doctor took another swig of his whiskey. Skinner hadn't touched his coffee. He couldn't. He would gag if he did.

"Well to make a long story that I think you know anyway, short. They made me an offer I couldn't refuse. At first they...well...they appealed to my patriotism, and my...altruistic belief that somehow what we would be doing would save the entire human race. I mean shit - that was some big ball of wax for a poor, black kid from Tupelo, Mississippi to refuse you know?"

"Yeah, it was a hard offer for a naive, young jock from Ambler PA to turn down too," Skinner mumbled.

Jackson fuller nodded and shrugged.

"Well...I balked at first. I mean fuck - who the hell would have thought..."

The waitress came back having noticed Fuller had pretty much knocked back his drink.

"Can I get you another, Dr. Fuller?"

"Bring the bottle, Maxine."

She raised an eyebrow but left the table quickly, bringing back the bottle and a second glass. Jackson nodded his thanks and she left. She never asked Skinner if he wanted another coffee since his cup was untouched. Skinner eyed the empty glass speculatively but he didn't ask for any booze. Not now. He needed a clear head. Obviously that was the last thing on Fuller's mind as he poured himself another tumbler full of liquid courage.

He choked slightly after the next swig, and then continued as Skinner merely stared at him.

"Who would have fucking believed them? Alien invasion. I mean come on...that was....that was Twilight Zone material, right?"

Skinner nodded glumly. Yeah, well...he had believed. After some of his experiences in special ops, and his near death experience he had believed in more back then as a young agent than he was willing to admit now. Water under the bridge. Filthy water he thought with self hatred. He refocused on Jackson as the man continued his narrative.

"Anyway, when I balked they took up another line of persuasion. They brought up...certain services I had performed during medical school. Services for unlucky young women that would...that might effect my later plans for going back to school and getting the degree, that..."

"Abortions?"

"Right. I mean I even performed one on...on my own fiancee for Christ sake. They had it all down, Walter. All the facts, dates...names. They could have ruined me but...more important...those poor young girls...and Marion. God!"

"Fine...I get the point. Go on..." Skinner looked down at his coffee. He picked up the cup at last and took a sip of the luke warm fluid. His mouth had become terribly dry and he risked the gag reflex reaction in order to get rid of the taste of dried disgust on his tongue.

When he looked back up, Jackson was drinking more whiskey. His eyes were growing glassy - a sure sign that he was on his way to a good hangover. Skinner watched, and waited, and finally he put the glass down again and went on.

"So, anyway, I made the deal with the devil. I've hated myself for years for that decision. Tried to make amends through good work...I..."

"Jackson!" Skinner grated in desperation. He had just about had it with the doctor's convoluted explanation, "what in the name of God did you do to me?"

"Walter, I....we took soldiers who were severely wounded - who weren't maybe going to make it despite our efforts to keep them alive and we...we put this device...this microchip...."

"Chip?"

"Yes. During surgery we put a chip in their scrotums, from right inside the groin. It was easy to do. Shit, we had guys guts hauled out all over their chests and stomachs while we rooted around in there. Yourself included, my man."

Skinner nodded again, grimly. Oh yeah he knew it. He had the inglorious scars to prove it.

"So, we put this tiny chip right next to the epididymis. This chip was....was supposed to affect the sperm somehow...cause...mutations....create....create some kind of resistance in humans to...to that shit...the..."

"Black oil?"

"Fuck, yeah. So, you do know?" Jackson asked hopefully, his eyes blinking back tears that were now threatening to spill down his cheeks. It was as if up to this point he has suspected Skinner knew what was going on but wasn't quite sure. The confirmation seemed to comfort him in an odd way. It made Skinner want to puke again.

Skinner's lips formed into a tight line as he answered, "Unfortunately, yes."

Jackson nodded gratefully, "The guys with the chips weren't supposed to make it, so when they died we were supposed to remove the chips, take a sperm sample, and send it out to this lab back in the states for testing."

"But I fooled you..." Skinner interrupted.

Jackson gave a bitter chuckle, "Yeah, buddy - you lived all right, you stubborn son of a bitch. And worse yet...I got to like you. You were a fighter. And a hell of a guy. I started to get a sick feeling about sticking that hunk of metal in you. So I told the cigarette dude and the one guy who stayed on...I think his name was Mulder..."

"Mulder?" Skinner hissed. Oh fuck.

"Yeah. Is that important?"

"No...go on," Walter replied, his stomach churning.

"I asked them if the chip was going to...you know harm you over time. Cancer or....or something like that since it seemed you were going to survive your wounds."

"And they said?"

Jackson wiped one hand across his tearing eyes and answered, bitterness clouding his voice.

"They said no. They said you should feel honored eventually because you would be fathering the fucking master race. The race that would save mankind. Can you believe that? I was working for the God damned masters, Sinner. The fucking quasi-Nazi overseers. The rotten bastards."

Skinner stared at Jackson Fuller as he wiped his eyes and reached for the bottle of Jack again. He didn't want to believe him. But he knew he did. It all sounded all too familiar. Too sick and twisted not to be a plan hatched by the Consortium. Mulder's father's involvement only rammed that idea home with a vengeance. He supposed, distantly that was something he should tell Mulder eventually if he could bring himself too. Walter had a feeling he and Mulder were going to get a lot more close soon, and that he'd have a lot to discuss with him now. A whole lot.

Jackson Fuller was filling his tumbler again, and moistening his lips in anticipation of his next conscience dulling swig. Skinner wanted to grab the man's wrist and stop him from sending himself into blissful alcohol induced oblivion. Either that or snatch the bottle from his shaking grasp so he could pummel him in the head with it.

Instead he spoke, trying desperately to keep the anger and bitterness out of his voice. The hatred for this man who, after all, had taken the same deal that Walter Skinner had taken at one point in his life, and regretted it just as much.

"Obviously they were incorrect regarding my becoming the herd sire."

"No shit. Lying sons of whores. I found out years later that the chips might have been put in to do just the opposite. Although I can never be sure if that was their true intention or some kind of macabre defect. Anyway - they...they asked me to keep monitoring you and report any odd changes."

"Jackson - I never felt this chip during my self exam..." Skinner began.

"You wouldn't. We put them up under the epididymis a little. And it was fairly small and flat. You would have never known it was there."

"But it made me sterile?"

"God, yes."

"For sure? Permanently?"

"I'm so sorry..."

"Ok...all right," Skinner said at last, sighing. At least he had his explanation. God, what would he tell Kim? How could he tell Kim? Christ.

As if he didn't hear him, Jackson continued to talk.

"One day a directive came down, a...a phone call from some guy...some errand boy named Krycek. He used the code words so I knew the message was legit. Direct from the polluted smoking bastard himself."

Skinners teeth clenched at the mention of Alex Krycek's name.

He said you had been shot, what hospital ER you had been taken too, and that I should get my ass down there and remove the chip. Well, lucky it was the hospital I was working out of at the time.

"So you did remove it?"

"Yes. I had to fight with some tough woman agent that was guarding you like a K-9 corps dog but..."

"Agent Dana Scully."

"God, yes. Talk about your Doberman guard dog. But I did get on the surgical team. I got the chip and I worked like hell to save your life, Walter. It was the least I could do after the horrible things I had done to you in the past. I felt like a rapist. The worst kind of violator. It made me hate myself."

Skinner nodded, "Man, I know the feeling."

"Well it was too fucking late anyway by that point. I sent the chip to the P.O. Box that Krycek gave me in the phone call and that was the last I heard about it..."

"Until I came in to tell you Kim and I couldn't conceive?"

"I was hoping you got away lucky..."

"You mean there were others?"

"Two more that I treat, yes. It's why I started to do some...some digging. I started to suspect the chips were fucked and now anyone I put them in was more than likely sterile. It was...Walter I started drinking again over it. I...Marion wants me to go back to AA," he ended miserably.

There was nothing more for him to say. Finally, Skinner reached over and removed the glass from his hand very gently. He took Jackson's hand in his and squeezed it once with compassion in his face. Jackson hung onto him with desperate longing, like a drowning man looking for rescue.

"Walter, can you ever forgive me. I...I can't..."

"Shhh," Skinner whispered quietly. His heart did fill with pity for Jackson. They were more alike then he ever knew before. He could relate to everything he said. Walter had his own horrors to forget. His own actions that brought him sleepless nights filled with guilt. A morgue with the bodies of dead school children in Payson, South Carolina came instantly to mind. No, he could forgive Jackson. Fuller was a good man now, no matter what he had done in the past. He was a good man and that fact would place him in danger now if he kept digging. He needed to convey that idea to him somehow. He wished he hadn't drunk so much Jack Daniel's.

"Jackson, I forgive you, all right. I...I know more than you could ever guess about this...this shadow government and the things they say and can do. I...I've been in deep before myself, and believe me when I say I hate myself for it just as much as you do. But...I've changed now. I'm not working for them or with them at all any longer. Just the opposite..."

"God, tell me how Walter. I want to pay them back so badly for what they've done. For..."

"Jackson...I don't think that's a good idea."

"What? Why?" Fuller replied disappointed, drunk and confused.

"It's incredibly dangerous. I...I can't be responsible for what would happen to you or to Marion if you became involved in my battle. My fight against these bastards. They...they might very well eliminate you or get through to you by injuring, even killing your wife..."

"Oh God. Was Sharon, did they?"

"Right," Skinner nodded grimly.

"Oh, Lord..."

"Yes. Listen. The best thing you can do is try to maintain business as usual. Do what they tell you but before you do it...tell me. I have...certain connections that may be able to help. I may be able to forestall whatever actions they want you to take," Skinner replied sincerely. He released Jackson's hand and sat back against the booth seat. Jackson sagged back as well.

"Would that work for you?" Skinner asked the doctor, "Would you do that for me?"

"Yes. It...it's more than I can ask, Sinner. More than I could ever hope you'd do for me. God, thank you Walter...I...I don't know what to say," he answered, the tears starting to run down his face.

"You don't have to say anything - but I do have one favor to ask you."

"What? Anything."

"Don't mention any of this to Kim. I...I need to tell her all of it in my own way. I'll do it before we see you again though, so don't worry about that idea."

"No problem. I won't breathe a word to Kim."

"Good."

"And Walter..."

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to do everything I can to see that you and Kim get pregnant. Adopt...whatever. I mean that. Any strings I can pull anywhere...I'll..."

"Hey...uh...it's ok. I know you'll help. I appreciate it," Walter replied, flustered.

"Ok, good," Fuller smiled a tentative smile.

Walter quirked his mouth slightly, "Look, uh...Marion is going to be worried. Why don't I drive you home? You can come back for your car tomorrow."

"I came here in a cab, Walter. I knew I was gonna get lit. No, I'll get another cab. That's ok. What about Kim, won't she be worried?"

"I told her I was going back into work. I called her just before I came in here to tell her I got there fine and would be home late."

"Oh. Ok. Well...I'll get on home then," the doctor replied getting up. He swayed a little as he took his wallet out. He threw some bills on the table.

"That should cover the tab," he added, weaving a little.

"More than enough," Skinner replied, taking his wrist again to steady him.

"You going to be ok?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine...now," he smiled down at the still seated AD.

"Jackson. I meant what I said. Keep a low profile - and call me on my cell phone if you need help."

"Ok. I'll lay low. Keep my butt down or get it shot off. I read you loud and clear, Sinner. Loud and crystal clear."

Walter Skinner nodded and released Fuller's hand. He slapped him on the arm as he staggered past the booth towards the pay phone at the front of the bar. As soon as Fuller reached the phone, Maxine, the waitress, came back over to collect the cash from the table. Skinner was staring at the nearly empty bottle of Jack Daniel's.

"Can I get you anything else sir?" the waitress asked.

"Take away this whiskey and bring me a bourbon," Skinner replied quietly.

"Shot or you want me to fill that glass?" Maxine inquired gesturing with her head at the unused tumbler resting next to Skinner's elbow.

"Bring me a bottle. Any brand. Doesn't matter," Walter replied in a near whisper. Maxine nodded once, briskly and left Skinner's side to go back to the bar.

xXx

Tuesday morning 2:30 AM, March 5, Apt. 42. Hegel Place, Arlington.

Mulder didn't drift out of sleep - he snapped awake. There had been a sound. Scully woke almost simultaneously. Both of them grabbed for their weapons on the night stand before they even looked for their clothing. When no one burst into the bedroom they stopped for a moment, listening intently. Someone was knocking on the front door. Both agents quietly pulled on underpants and robes.

Guns in hand, up and ready, they looked at each other in silent understanding. Yes...someone was knocking at the front door. Both had glanced at the clock. 2:30 AM. No one came calling at 2:30 in the morning unless it meant trouble.

Mulder signaled with his head that he was going out into the living room to answer the door. Scully fell in behind him. Partner to partner communication. Watch my back. Cover me. It was unspoken as well, and automatic.

Mulder crept out carefully into the living room, all senses on alert. Scully hung back even with the kitchen doorway, gun held out ahead of her, while Mulder stepped close to the apartment door. He took a moment to mentally thank building management for finally installing the new peep hole. Now he pressed his eye to it in order to see who was methodically, and monotonously knocking on his door.

He gave a sharp intake of breath when he saw who was outside, and flipped the safety on his piece.

He turned to Scully and mouthed the words, "It's Skinner."

"Mulduh?" came a slurred voice from beyond the locked door, "you in there? Come on, op...op...open up."

Christ. He's drunk off his ass, Mulder thought.

Scully whispered, "Mulder, he's drunk. What is he doing here, drunk, at 2:30 in the morning? Does Kimberly know he's here? God she must be terrified if she doesn't."

"Yeah, you should see him," Mulder indicated the peep hole. "He can barely stand up. I have no idea if Kim knows where he is right now. But obviously he wants to see me," he added, turning back to the door.

"Open the door and get him in here before he wakes the whole building," Scully whispered.

"It may be too late," Mulder winced as Skinner popped the door with his balled up fist one more time.

"Uh, hang on sir, just a second. You...you woke me up," Mulder called through the door.

"Maybe I should go back in the bedroom," Scully hissed as Mulder stuck his weapon in the band of his boxer briefs.

"Why? We have nothing to hide from him." Mulder raised an eyebrow. Scully shrugged back. Mulder grinned a little in understanding. Old habits die hard. This was the boss after all. Their currently sloppy drunk as a skunk boss, but the boss nonetheless. Scully still had some issues there. Hell, so do I, Mulder thought as he slid the dead bolts back, flipped the door handle lock as well, and pulled the door open.

Walter Skinner stood in the doorway, leaning heavily on the door frame, a brown paper bag in his hand. The top of an unopened bottle of bourbon was peaking out of the bag.

"Hey, Muldurrr...."

"Get in here," Mulder hissed, grabbing him by the front of his trench and pulling him inside with one pull. He shut the door with one hand, and propped the weaving, staggering Skinner up against the wall with the other.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Skinner blustered trying to balance himself and maintain his grip on the bottle. Scully hastened over as it became apparent he would quite possibly fall down.

"Ssscully," he stuttered, blinking at her, "Gud evenin'"

"Hello sir, uh...would you like to come in and sit down?" she asked diplomatically.

"Yuh...yes, I would. Thanks. I...I need to talk to you, Mulder. Uh..." his brow furrowed and then unfurrowed. "Uh - it's very important...talk about...about...some stuff I found out...shshshit...I..."

"Walter, come on, let's...let's just get you over to the couch and then you can tell us what's going on, ok?" Mulder suggested.

"K," Walter nodded slowly.

Mulder on one side and Scully on the other served to prop Skinner up and guide him over to the couch. They maneuvered him onto the futon seat and he fell back hard, bottle still firmly in hand. As soon as his butt hit the cushions he hefted the bottle up at them.

"I brought you this...cause I know it's late...peace offering. You wanna drink?"

Mulder stared at him in disbelief. Who the hell sold him a bottle when he was in this condition he had to wonder. Crap. Well...maybe he'd bought it before he was this wasted and kept it...where? In his car? God I hope he didn't drive over here.

While this was flashing across his mind Scully answered Skinner's question.

"It's a little early for me, Walter. But thank you."

And then, as if she'd read Mulder's mind she asked the next obvious question.

"Sir, is your car parked uh...did you remember to lock your car?"

Skinner blinked at her again.

"Car? Oh. Yeah. I locked it up good. It's parked outside the bar. Um...outside Borders. I took a cab here," he chuckled sardonically, "I'm pissed aren't I? Couldn't fuckin' drive."

"Uh, right," Scully agreed glancing at Mulder.

Skinner followed the direction of her gaze.

"Mulduh?" he slurred, holding the bottle up towards the agent.

"No thanks, Walter. I guess it's a little too early for me too."

"Oh. Ok," he nodded in bleary understanding. Then he pulled the bottle close to his chest. "Yeah, well it's too late for me," he replied with deep bitterness in his voice, untwisted the unopened bottle top, tossed the cap on the floor, and put the bottle to his lips.

"Hey, hey, hey," Mulder warned. He walked forward as Skinner tilted his head back to take a huge swig off the bottle. Skinner pulled the bottle away and stared at Mulder dumbly for a second. Then he grinned a little.

"Ya change your mind?"

"Uh, yeah...why don't you give me the bottle and I'll get three glasses and pour us all a drink."

"Good idea," Skinner nodded, handing Mulder the bottle. The agent crossed to Scully where she was still standing by the coffee table. She had put her gun down on the table top after putting the safety back on. As he passed her he whispered into her ear.

"Go in the bedroom and call Kim."

Scully nodded.

"Sir?"

"Wha?" Skinner asked, glancing up from studying his hands.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm going to the bathroom," Scully gestured towards the short hallway that reached back towards the bedroom and bathroom.

"Oh. Sure. Sorry," Walter replied. Scully left his side.

When Mulder came out of the kitchen he was carrying a glass of Coke. No bottle.

Skinner looked up at him.

"Ssscully went to the...the can," he nodded back towards the hallway.

"Ok," Mulder nodded back. Skinner zeroed in on his hand holding the glass of fizzing Coke. Walter looked back up at Mulder's face in confusion.

"Where's...where's my bourbon?"

"Walter...I didn't think you needed any more," Mulder replied quietly, sitting the glass of soda down in front of his AD.

Skinner's face drew into a frown. He bristled instantly.

"Fuck you. Give me back the bottle."

"No. Come on, sir. I need you to try to sober up here so you can give it to me straight. I mean so you can tell me about the uh *stuff*...about...the dream Walter...and whatever else upset you tonight," Mulder replied gently, seating himself on the coffee table in front of Skinner and next to the glass. He leaned forward slightly and touched Walter's knee. The contact seemed to galvanize the older man. His face went from angry defiance to stunned grief in only a few moments.

"Oh God," he whispered. Then his face went white.

"Sir?"

"I'm gonna be ssssick," he slurred.

"Oh fuck!" Mulder exclaimed. Skinner lurched to his feet. Mulder grabbed his arm and steered him towards the hallway leading to the bathroom. He made it as far as the bathroom door before he sagged against the wall, fell to his knees and started to vomit copiously all over the floor, and himself.

"Scully!" Mulder yelled in desperation, jumping back, barely in time to stop from being sprayed with Skinner's stomach contents.

Scully opened the closed bedroom door, her cell phone in hand.

"Oh Jesus," she gasped as Skinner leaned over and heaved again, "Kim, honey?" she barked into the phone.

"Kim?" Skinner moaned, retching miserably.

"Yes. Come right away. No...he's just drunk honey, that's all. Yes, he's sick to his stomach. Ok. All right. I'll tell him. Just be careful. Bye bye," Scully quickly ended the conversation and handed the cell phone to Mulder. She went down on her knees gingerly, avoiding the pool of vomit, and gathered Skinner close. Walter was at the dry heave stage now, with nothing left to bring up. Scully held him as he shook.

"Walter, Kim's coming over. Can you understand me?"

"Yuh, yuh," he huffed, "God. So sorry," he added in a small embarrassed voice.

"Hey, shit happens, Walter. Don't worry about it," Mulder hastened to reassure him. Yeah it sure as hell did - and at least Walter wasn't on his ass in a garbage strewn alley when it did. Mulder recalled that night with his own grim embarrassment.

"Mulder, can you get me a wash cloth?" Scully asked, looking up.

"Yeah, I was just going to suggest that too," Mulder nodded. He quickly tossed Scully's cell phone onto the bed in his bedroom. Then he turned around and entered the bathroom to get a wet washcloth.

"Come on Walter, I want to get you into the bathroom. Can you stand up?" Scully asked.

"Yes," Skinner nodded. He shifted and tried to climb to his feet.

"Hold on, I'll help you," Mulder offered coming back out.

Together they got Skinner into the bathroom and seated on the closed toilet. He was limp. Expressionless at that point. Willing to let the two agents fuss over him without protest. Scully wiped his face free of vomit and gave him a hand towel so he could dry himself off. Mulder handed him a small cup of mouthwash so he could rinse and spit into the sink. After he had done the mouth rinse, Scully grabbed a second, clean wash cloth, got it wet with cold water and then wrung it out. She brought it over and placed it on the back of Walter's neck. Scully wrinkled her nose up. No two ways about it. He reeked. His suit and trench were splattered with puke. Scully came to a decision and glanced at Mulder, scrunching up her face in distaste. Mulder nodded getting her meaning.

"Can you get your coat off sir? I think...I think maybe I'll go fix some coffee and Mulder can help you get out of all those clothes. You...well these are going to need to go to the dry cleaners."

"Ok...I could use some coffee," Walter sighed, rubbing up under his glasses. He sounded marginally more sober at last. He wouldn't look directly at them however. Clearly he was still very embarrassed about losing control in front of them.

"All right then. Mulder, I'll be in the kitchen. And Walter...it's ok, really. Like Mulder implied - uh...shit happens. Kim will be here soon and we can...we can all talk then," she patted him on the knee and glancing at Mulder again, she left the bathroom.

Skinner placed his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

"Kim. Christ. How am I going to explain this to her. Mulder...I...I don't know what to say to her...about anything."

"Well, Walter...I think you should try to sober up a little more before you try to recount any of tonight's events. Right now I'm not sure you'll get it all out right. You may leave something out that's vital to...to the issues."

"Yeah, good point," Skinner nodded, "I...I'll try to sober up."

"That's my man," Mulder tried to sound positive as he clapped Skinner on the shoulder. It was a hell of a lot more positive then he felt. Right now, looking at Skinner's bowed head and having seen the haunted look in his eyes before he put his head in his hands, Mulder felt a cold chill spreading through his guts.

"Can you handle getting undressed? I...I should probably go clean up the hallway."

"Yeah. Damn...sorry 'bout the floor," Walter looked up at him at last.

"Wasn't the first time someone's puked in that hallway. Won't be the last time either," Mulder gave him a rueful smirk.

Skinner's lip curled up just a little at the corner.

"So, you ok?" Mulder asked one more time before he left his side.

"Yeah, uh...better. Thanks, Mulder. Really. Thanks a lot. Thank Scully too, ok?"

"Sure. S'fine. No sweat. Uh, holler if you need anything else. I'll just be outside."

Skinner nodded and then stood up shakily, but more steadily then before, to pull off his vomit dampened trench coat.

xXx

Tuesday morning 3 AM, March 5. On the road between George Mason Drive and Hegel Place, Arlington.

Kimberly Skinner drove as fast as she could to Mulder's apartment without incurring a speeding ticket. Just getting stopped would delay her and delay was the last thing she wanted to have happen right now.

God! She had thought Walter was at work. She'd gone to bed with the idea that her husband was putting in overtime for the Bureau again. It was something she was more than aware would happen even before their marriage. For heaven's sake, she'd worked as his executive assistant for over 5 years. She knew how hard he worked for the FBI. How many extra hours he put in. The politics, yes and some of the intrigues and hidden agendas. She knew it all - or most of it - from the inside before she married him. He'd told her enough about the Consortium, Marita and Alex Krycek, to make her aware of the dangers there as well.

So, she understood his job and what it took. The long hours that kept him away. She knew even though she was somewhat resentful the overwork kept him tired, sometimes irritable and away from her, home or away from the things he enjoyed doing for himself. She understood about the gruff outbursts of temper. She let them slide most of the time. But she did worry about his health. She did make gentle suggestions to Walter that he should take some time to rest, work out, get away from the grind when he could. And to Walter's credit - he did listen. Kim considered that he did listen because she tried to temper her suggestions with compassion, honest concern and some humor. It seemed to work most of the time. Walter listened and he made efforts to comply. After all, Kim knew he still took pride in his work. Thought he made a difference and that those ideals were important to him and his self worth.

So what in God's name was he doing showing up at 2:30 in the morning, drunk and sick at Fox Mulder's door? What had Mulder wanted to talk to him about? Did Walter really want to discuss his doctor's diagnosis, his fears in that area with Fox or...or something else? What hadn't Walter told her? It couldn't just be work matters regarding the Garibaldi case. God! It obviously wasn't the Garibaldi case since it appears Walter never went into work anyway. Her mind spun around point after point until she was close to tears of frustration.

A mixture of fear for Walter and anger at his obvious reticence to divulge something to her, to share with her, gripped her heart as well. Kim stamped it down, however, in order to keep as cool a head as possible. She settled her roiling thoughts as best she could. Wrapping the car around a light pole wasn't going to get her to Mulder's apartment any faster either. She took a deep breath, held tight to the steering wheel, pressed down the accelerator and sped off into the dark.

xXx

Somewhere....

Walter Skinner drifted towards wakefulness. His head hurt. Mouth was dry. Shit it figures. Hangover. Yeah well. After last nights bar hopping...drinking, brawling, dope smoking, carousing...fucking...fucking? No...loving...

"Sinnuh, you look like shit," Cracker Rand chuckled.

Walter rolled over slightly to stare at John where he sat on the mattress. The young soldier from Georgia was stark naked, and sweating slightly despite the cheap air conditioner in the Saigon hotel room they had ended up passing out in. Walter glanced down at his own damp body. He was nude as well. Nude, and he had a big bruise below his navel.

"Thanks asshole," Walter groaned, lying back flat again. He threw his right arm over his face.

Cracker laughed gently, "Ah'm only kiddin' big dawg. You look jes fine to me. Mighty fine as a matter of fact."

"No, you're right - I feel like crap. I've got a first class bastard of a hangover."

"You do? Nah...you don't," Cracker replied in a low voice. Walter felt him shift over close. He lowered his arm to stare at his lover. Cracker smiled down at him and reaching over, ran his hand over Walter's sweating brow. Skinner felt a pleasant warmth suffuse his body. It was a contradiction in the tropical heat, but it made him feel both right as rain and cool, calm and collected all at the same time.

He stared up at Cracker Rand in astonishment. The Georgia boy smiled wide.

"See, Sinnuh. You don't have a hangover now, do ya?"

Skinner shook his head and then he smiled too. He ran one large hand down onto his groin and fingered the bruise there.

"Can you do anything about this...this mark?" he asked, his brow furrowing in thought. The bruise wasn't sore really. In fact, he wasn't sure it was a bruise at all. It was more like...like a criss cross pattern of black and blue lines. For some reason it looked familiar. It almost frightened him. But when he looked back into John's kind eyes the fear was banished in a wave of love for the other man.

"No, Sinnuh. Even Ah have my limitations, son," Cracker shook his head gravely, "Ah'm truly sorry about that..." he gestured towards the mark.

"Oh...well...that's ok...uh...come here," Skinner grinned at him.

John's hazel eyes danced but he cast them down. He didn't lie down next to Walter right away. He plucked some lint off the mattress and spoke quietly to Skinner.

"You sure lover? I mean...I thought....I didn't think we were going to..."

"No...um...it's ok. For tonight...yeah....I...I want this...more than anything," Walter Skinner heard himself saying.

"Ah understand. Ah want you too, Sinnuh. Ah love you," Cracker sighed, "Ah'll be here for you. Ah'd never do anything to hurt you Waltuh."

"I know that John," Skinner whispered, "I love you too."

John Rand looked up and smiled again. It was a slow smile full of love and desire and he moved in next to Walter Skinner. They rolled so they could lie face to face.

"Make love to me Waltuh. Ah...Ah want you in me, lover."

"All right," Walter smiled and then he bent forward and took John's head in his hands. He kissed Cracker Rand deeply, plunging his tongue in between John's eagerly questing lips.

Skinner rolled Cracker beneath him. They pressed together, skin to skin. Cracker raised his knees up and cradled Walter between his legs. Their swelling cocks met between them.

"Gawd damn I never can get over that thing," Cracker moaned slightly as Walter rubbed his hard-on against Crackers straining erection.

Walter took his weight on his forearms and levered up to watch his lover's face as they moved sensuously together. He always marveled at the way that Cracker's eyes shined, shimmered with flecks of gold, green and caramel brown as they made love. It was almost hypnotizing and it was an exquisite sight that thrilled him profoundly every time he witnessed it.

"You're beautiful," Skinner breathed out shyly. All of you, not just your cock. I...I watch your eyes and...and...ah shit," he grinned, embarrassed at the emotions that were surging through his heart and soul in that moment.

Cracker reached up and traced his long, elegant index finger over Walter's lips.

"Shhhh. Ah know, Sinnuh, Ah know. You're a good man. In time you'll be an even better one. In time Ah hope Ah can live up to the love you have for me now, Waltuh. Ah...it's my fondest wish...my...my hope for salvation that Ah can," Cracker finished staring up into Walter's face with the almost fathomless depths of his shining hazel eyes.

"Oh God, John," Walter whispered and then he fell on him, devouring his mouth again with a soul searing kiss.

Soon they developed a rhythm with their hips that took them up, and up, and up closer to that place they both sought to reach. Cracker held Walter close, craving the contact of his strong muscular body against his more lithe one.

He murmured in Walter's ear.

"You're so hard, Sinnuh. So good. Please lover. Fuck me. Come on big dog. I want that big cock."

Skinner groaned loudly, he was so close. Jesus. Jesus. It was so good. So fine. He tried to hold back but...but the heat, the hot friction, the feeling of being in John's loving embrace was too much. His face grew tight and he cried out.

"Fuck!" he grunted as his hips lost control completely and he ground his cock into John, missing his hard on and hitting his thigh over and over. He growled deep as he came, semen spurting all over John's groin and pubic hair. Walter's body began to shake and he was sweating profusely.

"It's ok, son. It's ok. Do it. Cum on. Cracker's got ya. Let it go," John crooned into Walter's ear as Skinner's orgasm raced through his convulsing muscles. John rubbed his back lovingly and Skinner finally collapsed against him, gasping for breath.

"I'm so sorry. I....I know you wanted....damn," Walter buried his face in John's neck.

"No, never apologize when we give each other that, Waltuh. It's ok. It's a beautiful gift too."

"God, that felt good," Skinner whispered.

"Then that's what matters, Sinnuh," John replied, kissing Walter's shaved head.

"Fuck me, John. Fuck me now. I want....I want you to feel...I want this for you too."

Cracker nodded and pushed on Walter' shoulder. The more muscular man rolled off him and than back flat onto the bed. He grabbed for Cracker as the other man shifted up, his hard on jutting out and throbbing between them.

Walter brought his legs up to his chest immediately. Cracker landed in tight next to his ass. Walter lifted his legs up and draped them over John's shoulders.

"I want to see you," Walter gasped into John Rand's loving eyes.

"God yes," Cracker replied.

Walter felt him reach down and smear a combination of pre-cum and semen in between his ass cheeks. He swallowed hard as Cracker worked first one finger, than two and finally three up his ass. He was still loose enough from his orgasm that a lot of prep wasn't needed. He was bucking against Cracker's hand quickly and urgently, trying to pull him in deeper. Walter grunted loud as John stroked his prostate.

"Oh yeah, baby. Here we go. Here we go," Cracker giggled and Walter laughed as well.

"You crazy hhhillbilly," he stuttered, "you got the magic touch."

"Oh yes, Ah do. Ah certainly do," Rand hissed between clenched teeth. He was barely hanging on to his own erection at this point. He was close to coming himself now.

"Put it in," Walter whispered, reaching up to touch John's face. In a flash an errant thought crossed Skinner's mind. Something....something about...John putting it to him. Whoa...no condom. John was going to do him naked. That...but that wasn't right.

"Waltuh?" Cracker asked, love permeating his voice.

"John?" Walter asked in momentary confusion at the realization that Cracker was going to do him without protection.

"I said I'd never hurt you. I won't...this...it's ok. You believe me don't you?"

Skinner nodded his head and the doubt was gone in the heat of John's passionate gaze.

"Give it to me," Walter hissed.

Cracker grasped Walter's hips and positioned the head of his cock at Walter's anus. He began to push into Walter's body with a steady, even thrust."

Walter felt his cock jump to life again, swelling as John slowly worked his dick up his ass. Walter reached forward and began to crank himself, getting it up hard. Getting ready to go with his lover when he climaxed inside him.

"Oh God yeah. Man. Do it. Deeper," Skinner groaned as Cracker pushed in up to his balls.

"Oh lover. Oh," Cracker moaned, "So warm. So...sweet Jesus."

"Uhhhh," Walter grunted, pumping his own hard-on furiously.

Walter Skinner looked up and pinned John Rand's eyes. He felt his inner muscles spasm around John's throbbing cock. Waves of pleasure passed over John's face and then he spoke.

"Walter, remembuh what Ah'm givin' you tonight. Remembuh this pleasure and the fact there is no pain. Remembuh only that Ah love you and Ah give of myself freely. Ah give myself freely. Remembuh that lover."

"I will....UhhhhhGod!" Walter cried out as Cracker began to thrust into him hard and fast. They slapped together, flesh against flesh, heart against heart, soul against soul. Skinner realized distantly that this was their last time together as lovers and he thrust up again and again crying out to join with Cracker in this last dance of ecstasy.

One part of him was sad - but another part thought of what Cracker was giving him - pouring into him. John was giving Walter his undying love, devotion and protection and what seemed like almost unending rapture and Skinner rejoiced as well.

He held onto John's arm with one hand while he worked his own hard, hot flesh with the other. As the boy from Georgia's hips pistoned against his ass, they both began a litany of moaning together. Walter's rumbling bass in counterpoint to John's baritone.

Suddenly John cried out and plunged deep into Skinner's body. Cracker grew taunt and arched back, throwing his arms out to the side. He eyes were shut and mouth open but no sound came out. Then he drew his hips back and thrust in twice more, hard.

"JOHN!" Walter cried out in passion, love and wonder.

Skinner could feel John's cock twitch and his balls spasm. Walter yanked his own cock hard and then they were coming together. Walter's last thought before he fell off the edge of the world was of John Rand's cum filling him, and John's words in his mind repeating over and over, "I give myself freely. I give myself freely. I give myself freely."

xXx

Tuesday morning 3:30 AM, March 5. Apt. 42. Hegel Place, Arlington.

"Come on in, Kim," Dana Scully touched her friend's arm lightly in comfort as Kim pushed past the smaller woman.

"Where's Walter? What's going on?" she asked quickly, striding into Mulder's apartment living room. She glanced about.

Mulder was sitting on the futon couch, putting a mug of something steaming hot down on the coffee table.

"Kim, it's ok. Walter..." he began, rising to cross to her.

"Is he all right?" she studied Mulder's face.

Scully came to her and wrapped an arm around her waist. She gently pulled her close, hugged her and released her stepping back to meet her gaze.

"Kim, he's fine. Or at least he'll be fine later today," she twitched a frown of chagrin.

"Yeah, he's gonna have a hell of a hangover," Mulder ran his hand through his hair and moved back again, indicating the couch to Kimberly. She shook her head at his offer for her to sit down.

"Kim, it's ok, sit down. Walter's asleep in the bedroom," Scully sighed touching her friends arm again. Kim did sag into herself at that point. She took the four short steps over to the couch and sat down slowly.

"But I don't understand any of this," she ran her right hand through her hair nervously. "He was drunk? Why? He told me he was going into...into the office to help wrap up some details on the Garibaldi case."

"Kim, we're not sure what happened but he arrived here extremely distraught. He did allude to uh...to finding something out earlier this evening but at this point we just don't know," Scully replied

"I do know he wanted to talk to you, Fox," Kim explained - looking up into Mulder's concerned face, "he's...he's been beating himself up over our not being able to uh...conceive. I think he wanted...well he just maybe needed some man to man support you know. But, the schedules..."

"Hell, I know," Mulder sat down on the coffee table again and spoke gently to Kim. "Walter and I just haven't been able to connect lately. I'm really sorry."

"I understand that Fox. It's not your fault. But...then today...we...we found out some things from his doctor. Um...very painful things. I thought...maybe I underestimated the impact on...oh damn," her face crumpled slightly.

"What?" Scully asked taking a seat next to Kim on the couch. She took her friends hand in hers and squeezed it in support.

"Walter's doctor told him there's a strong possibility he's sterile."

"Oh God!" Scully exclaimed, squeezing Kim's hand harder.

"Jesus," Mulder hissed.

"I...I'm sorry to have to just let you know this way...I'm sure Walter would have rather told you himself..." Kim let her voice trail off.

"No, don't...don't give it another thought under the circumstances," Mulder hastened to comfort her.

"Kim did they test his ejaculate? Do a sperm count?" Scully asked, moving into doctor mode.

Kim picked up on the dispassionate inquiry and in truth she was thankful for it. It would help her to regain her equilibrium. She had been close to tears a moment ago. She took a deep breath and answered Scully.

"Dr. Fuller is going to arrange for Walter to undergo tests at a fertility clinic. God, that was supposed to be tomorrow. I mean today..." she added flustered. "I suppose we'll have to call Dr. Fuller and ask to postpone that now," she looked over at Scully.

"Well...let's cross that bridge when we come to it," Scully advised her, "Kim...I'm so sorry...but until they do tests..."

"I know, I know..." Kim nodded, " we still have hope. We have to wait and see."

Scully nodded.

Mulder watched Kim and he was beginning to wonder if the sterility issue was all Walter wanted to talk to him about. What about the dreams? He wondered if Walter had finally said something about his dreams to Kim. He hadn't before. What about now?

"So, you think that was what he wanted to talk to me about - his...uh, diagnosis? Mulder asked, fishing for answers.

"I think so. We did discuss the idea that you might be supportive - you know - he might want to talk to a male friend. So, I assumed his fears about the diagnosis where what he was trying to talk to you about, yes. He acted as though it was urgent. And Fox - I know it's been eating at him. And now this news..." she shook her head in dismay.

"Ok," Mulder nodded, "All right."

Ok. So Kim was still in the dark about the nightmares. Mulder would have to confront Walter on that point directly. He sighed. It wasn't going to be easy. Especially with this new development. Christ. He felt horrible for Walter. He resolved to try to be more of a friend to him, a confident. A supportive sounding board, if Walter would let him. He'd try and hope Walter would let him in.

"Well we're going to have to wait until he's sober and awake to discuss anything with him now anyway," Scully sighed.

Kim just stared at them for a moment, the words seeming not to register. Mulder shifted and attempted to fill in the blanks in case it would help.

"Yeah. We left him in the bathroom to take his clothes off after...well after he was sick to his stomach," Mulder began shifting from foot to foot a little under Kim's scrutiny.

"And when I checked on him again, he'd...well he'd passed out. Fallen asleep uh...sitting on the floor propped up against the bathtub. We managed to half walk, half carry him into the bedroom and tuck him in." Scully finished for her partner.

There was great compassion in her voice. She felt deep sorrow for Kim and Walter. Walter Skinner must have indeed been very upset over the diagnosis to dive into a bottle of bourbon last night. Well Scully could relate to that idea. Oh yes. Being distraught over finding out you can't produce a child cut very close to the bone. Mother Mary. And what must it have taken out of Walter to come here, desperate to talk to Mulder and then lose control, vomit, and pass out. He'd need some TLC when he woke up. Good Lord - he could use it now.

"God," Kim shut her eyes and folded her arms across her middle. She hugged herself.

"I think once he wakes up we can get a better explanation of what..."

"It doesn't matter right now, Mulder," Scully interjected in a soft voice, "Kim he's right in the bedroom. Why don't you....you can go to him," she ended, gesturing down the hallway towards the bedroom door.

"Yes..." Kim breathed out, "Yes I need to go to him," she nodded, getting up.

"And Kim?" Mulder called softly.

"Yes?" she asked turning back briefly.

"You can...I mean you're welcome to stay back there with him. It's late, early...uh whatever. Stay. You could call in sick for him at work. We can all talk about this together when he feels up to it that way. Scully and I will leave a message with Angela that we're doing research off sight too or...well we'll think of some alibi."

Kim nodded, turned and walked in the direction of the bedroom without giving them a second look.

"Scully?"

"Yes?"

"Help me pull the couch out. I gotta get some rest."

"I'm with you, partner." Scully nodded and she bent to help lift the coffee table aside first.

xXx

Kim carefully opened the closed bedroom door, slipped inside and shut it behind her. The two agents had left the night stand light on low. Kim was grateful. She could see Walter lying in bed and of course, someone would have been able to check on him easily with the illumination available.

Walter was lying on his back on top of the dark blue comforter, an off white afghan covering him up to his waist. Kim could see he had his t-shirt on. Her face grew soft. He looked so vulnerable lying there, sans specs. So pale, despite his tan, against the dark spread beneath him. His chest rose and fell evenly however. There was no stress in his face.

Kim walked quietly over to the edge of the bed and studied him more closely. As she observed him, his eyelids fluttered a little and he sighed deeply.

"Cracker?" he whispered.

Kim's hand went up to her mouth. Oh no. Please. Not a John Rand nightmare she pleaded silently. Not here. Not now. He doesn't need this...doesn't deserve any more torture tonight.

Walter shifted a little and brought his arm up. One large hand ran down his chest and under the edge of the afghan to rub at his groin. His face twitched a tiny smile and then went slack again, his arm dropping to the side. His eyes ceased to flutter and his breathing became quite regular again.

Kim breathed a sigh of relief and lowered her hand. Thank God. It must have been a pleasant memory. She knew he had them sometimes too. Good times he'd had with John over in Vietnam before...well just before that horrible ambush.

Kim's heart was filled with love for Walter as she watched him sleep. He needed the peace and restorative powers of sleep more than anything now. Explanations could wait. Right now they both needed to rest. To be together, close and warm in each others arms.

Kim quietly pulled off her sneakers. socks and jeans. She left on her panties and t-shirt. She hadn't bothered to even put on a bra before rushing to Mulder's apartment. She piled her clothes on the end of the bed and then slid in under the afghan and up next to Walter.

Walter shifted again, moving almost instinctively towards her in sleep. Kim stretched out an arm and he snuggled into her, against her so that she was holding his head on her breast.

Suddenly, his eyes fluttered again. Walter's brow furrowed a little and then his eyes opened slightly and he was staring into her face.

"Kim?" he whispered sleepily.

"It's ok honey. I'm here," she whispered back, kissing the top of his head.

"I'm sorry Kim...I'm so sorry..." he sighed hard, pushing his face into her warm body. She felt his lips kissing her tenderly. She ran her hand over his scalp.

"It's ok, Walter. Sleep, baby. We'll talk about it in the morning. Go to sleep now. I've got you. Go to sleep."

"K," she felt him nod and then he shifted yet again to roll over onto his opposite side.

Kim smiled softly, another wave of love washing through her heart.

All the nights she had done that - rolled over to spoon against Walter, seeking his comforting bulk at her back. To feel his hard, wall of muscle behind her, protecting her, shielding her. Now he was doing the same. Acknowledging that perhaps he needed to feel protected, comforted, shielded tonight. Kim kissed the back of his neck, spooned in against him, and draping her arm over his middle, pulled Walter close. Walter sighed with contentment and Kim felt him relax completely under her arm as she drifted off to sleep.

xXx

On the street outside Mulder's apartment building.

Marita Covarrubias stubbed out her cigarette in the cars ashtray. She wrinkled her nose. Christ she could not believe she was smoking again. Well...this job did that to you. So many dead faces, so much failure, so many compromised ethics. Oh sure, there were triumphs...but not enough of them. As a result, the work made you one kind of addict or another. I guess I should be thankful it's only cigarettes she mused bitterly as she glanced up through the tinted car windows at the face of the apartment building a block down and across the street.

Yeah, but sometimes things do work out - after a fashion. The blonde sighed and ran her hands through her hair, smoothing it down. It always felt good to settle a debt. Yes - she had owed Walter Skinner. Big time for what she and Alex had done to him. His situation was a tragedy anyway - after his violation at the hands of the Consortium.

The least Marita could do was try to make up for some of what was done to him in Vietnam. Give him the power that knowledge about those events could give. The power to fight their war with accurate information instead of disinformation. And...maybe the power to be happy despite the facts. Certainly the idea that Skinner was sterile was upsetting. But now, at least he knew and he knew why. There were alternatives for becoming parents. He'd be able to deal with the problem now from a position of strength. More control. She knew Skinner appreciated being in that kind of position. That he appreciated being in control. So, hopefully this would serve to bolster him. To make him continue monkey wrenching the works.

Because that's what it had come down to for Marita now. Rebellion. Revolt. Resist. In a way - she was using Walter Skinner to further her ends in that direction as well. But what the hell. A girl has to hedge her bets. Cover all the bases. And Walter would be his own man really. But she knew him well enough to believe strongly that he'd go through the Consortium like a wolf goes through a flock of sheep if he could. Good she thought. I hope he rips their throats out.

And speaking of ripping out throats. Marita glanced at her watch. Plenty of time. She reached forward and turned the key in the cars ignition. The engine purred to life. She pulled out of the parking spot and drove off down the fog shrouded street. She had a plane to catch. A flight to Moscow. She had another debt to repay. A bad debt. An old debt with Alex Krycek.

xXx

Tuesday morning 10 AM, March 5. Apt. 42. Hegel Place, Arlington.

Dim light. A soft, pleasant warmth at his back. A comforting arm over his chest. Something smelled familiar...delicate...feminine....marvelously fragrant.

Walter Skinner drifted up out of sleep and shifted a little. He snaked a hand up and stroked t-shirt material. His hand wandered down the arm that stretched over his pectorals. Skinner's eyes opened a little to glimpse the sleeping face that now rested against him. He reveled in the strawberry blonde hair that fanned out across his chest hair.

Kimberly. God, she felt so good lying in his arms. Smelled good too he thought, smiling a little. He snuggled next to her and nuzzled into her hair. Kim stirred slightly and rubbed her leg against him. The contact brought him fully awake and then the events of the night before came crashing back into his mind like a bolt of lightning.

"Oh shit," he murmured, stilling his hand on his wife's arm, He opened his eyes wide and glanced around.

"Son of a bitch," he breathed in worried chagrin.

Somehow Mulder and or Scully had gotten him into bed after? Christ, after he'd passed out drunk of course. God damn. How utterly disgusting and embarrassing. Scully called Kim. He did remember that - vaguely. Somewhere in the back of his mind he thought he should have an incredible hangover - a titanic headache. But he didn't seem to have that many ill effects. Cotton mouth maybe. Just a touch of muzziness behind his eyes - but nothing major. It was very strange - but fortuitous. Lucky, because coalescing in his mind was everything he had found out from Jackson Fuller and the necessity of explaining that all to Kim, Mulder and Scully.

And Jesus - the dreams. He didn't know what half of them meant - but he certainly knew the import of some of them now. The significance of the dreams he did understand was almost too hard to believe. God - how was he going to explain this to Kim? How would he explain it to Mulder? How would he explain the agent's father's involvement in what happened over in Nam and now...shit...now Mulder's possible part of a solution. And last but not least - how would any of this impact Dana Scully?

It was damn lucky he didn't have a headache now because he began to think he might have one soon at this rate. No shit.

"Christ on a crutch," he thought suddenly. This was Tuesday. Work. He needed to either get his ass in or call in sick. He had to call Jackson too about that fertility clinic...about last night too! He...what the fuck time was it? Where the hell were Mulder and Scully? Why hadn't they awakened them?

Walter levered up slightly, seeking out a clock. There was a clock radio on the night stand. 10:15 AM? Bastard! He was late for everything. Crap.

His movements to see the clock dislodged Kim's head from its position on his chest. She woke up and grabbed for his waist, pulling him back.

"Walter..." she whispered, still struggling to wake up.

"Kim, I have to call in...I..." Walter mumbled, pulling away.

"No, no, honey. Hang on. Calm down," Kim soothed him, coming fully awake. She pulled him back down completely until they were lying face to face. She stroked his tense jaw and then ran her hand over to his lips.

"Shhh..."

"But...what about Jackson and...?" Walter asked in confusion.

"It's ok. I got up earlier and phoned into work for you. You're taking a sick day. Mulder called in too and told Angela they were doing off sight research to wind up their latest case. So...no need to worry. We took care of work."

"What about that appointment...Jackson?"

Kimberly looked down.

"What?" Skinner asked in alarm.

"I called Doctor Fuller. I was directed to his answering service. His patients are being referred to an associate at the hospital. His office is closed. Family emergency."

Walter nodded. He had to hope it was just the morning after affects for Jackson Fuller and not something more...unfortunate. Christ something more lethal. He'd have to try to contact his friend soon to make sure he and Marion were all right. God, this was a mess. He looked into his wife's concerned eyes.

"Kim...I...we have a lot to discuss..." he began.

"Agreed," she sighed, touching his cheek. She lowered her hand and placed it over his heart.

"Kim...I really am so sorry. You must have been scared to death last night."

"Well I'm not going to lie, Walter. You had me terribly worried. I still am worried," she pulled her hand back and stroked his arm.

"Shit...how could I have been so...such an asshole...I need to tell you...you and Mulder..."

"It's all right. I know. We'll...we'll cope. We all have a lot to talk about. Let's...let's just concentrate on getting ourselves awake and up here first, ok?"

"Yeah. Yes...good idea," Walter nodded again, resolving to pull his act together, and fast.

"How's the head?" Kimberly asked, wincing a little as she looked into his eyes.

Walter's brow furrowed, "You know, that's strange. My heads fine, really. Stomach too. My mouth's a little dry but...."

"No hangover?"

"No, not one like I should have anyway," he shrugged slightly, stroking her shoulder.

"Well...maybe vomiting..."

"Jesus," he frowned looking away for a moment, "that had to have been a picture. It'll be a long time before I live that one down. Damn, what a dick," he added, shaking his head.

Kim's lips twitched into a sad line. She knew he was mortified about last night. She tried to compose herself further, but worry edged back into her mind. Walter was hurting here and so was she. But, they need to rally themselves. Regain some equilibrium so they could cope and get to the bottom of things. She set herself to marshaling her strength again. Damn it. She would not become a helpless fluttering damsel in distress here. That was her aunt's favorite act around her uncle. She'd rather die than act like her aunt. Lord.

She brought her hand up and caught Walter's chin to stop him from shaking his head in disgust.

"Walter..." she began, studying his face. Her emotions were all over the map. So were his. Damn. This wasn't helping. She decided to try for a lighter touch, "shit happens," she finally advised in a reasonable imitation of Mulder.

Walter chuckled and Kim smiled in gentle relief.

"Yeah. He did say that last night."

"I thought so," she moved her hand away.

Walter stared into Kim's face. His jaw relaxed, his expression became more soft. His eyes played over her face for a moment and then came back to rest, pinning her eyes.

"Kim?"

"Yes?"

"I love you," Walter whispered.

Kim bent forward slightly and pressed a kiss to his lips. He tasted faintly of mint mouthwash. Walter brought his hand up, grasping the back of her head tenderly. He pulled her face closer, deepening the kiss. Kim eagerly explored his mouth. They finally broke apart and he gathered her close and hugged her.

"Please forgive me," he mumbled against her hair.

"There's nothing to forgive," Kim answered, kissing his neck.

I hope to God that's true Walter thought as Kim pulled gently away from him.

"We'd better get our butts out..." Walter began to say just as there was a tentative knock on the bedroom door.

"Uh, hey, are you two up and around in there?"

Mulder. Walter sighed. Oh man...facing both agents right now was not going to be easy - especially Mulder. And not just because he heaved up all over his hallway last night. Christ.

"Yeah, uh...we're awake," Walter called back.

"Ok, good. Um...sorry to bother you but Scully and I...well we need some clothes."

"Oh shit," Walter winced. He could hear the awkwardness dripping off Mulder's words. Shit. Clothes. Man what was he going to do about clothes as well? He had no idea how bad his clothes were...well if they could be worn at all, or what condition they were in.

"Mulder, sorry. Hang on," Walter answered. Kim sat up. Walter reached over her, grabbing his glasses off the night stand. He slid off the opposite side of the bed and padded over to the door. Skinner opened the door a crack. Mulder stood outside in his boxer briefs and robe.

"Sorry," he smiled gamely, "We thought maybe we'd get...well Scully wanted some sweats," he finished looking down the hallway towards the living room.

"Sure. Uh...come on in," Walter replied, moving back and opening the door. Mulder walked past him into the bedroom.

"Morning, Fox," Kim greeted the agent. She could tell Mulder was struggling to maintain his calm exterior. She just wasn't sure what he would do if it broke. Burst out laughing or run howling for the hills in dismay and worry.

"Morning. I'll just get Scully's garment bag," he motioned for the closet.

"Did you just get up again?" Kim asked trying to make idle conversation.

"Yeah, we went back to bed for a while after the uh...after the phone calls too," Mulder replied, advancing quickly to the closet door. He opened it and fished around.

Walter stood there staring at Mulder's back. He was at a loss as to what to say. Embarrassment coupled with dread caused his mind to lock up. So, he just stared. Kim glanced at him and he noticed her movement out of the corner of his eye. He looked down when she tried to cover where her eyes had strayed. Well...Christ yeah. All he had on were his boxer briefs and t-shirt. He sighed.

"Mulder?"

"Yes, sir?" Mulder replied, turning out of the closet, Scully's garment bag firmly in hand.

"Were my...can I wear any of my clothes?"

"Well...." Mulder began.

"That bad?"

"Yeah. You kind of hit just about everything last night."

"Shit," Walter shook his head again. Kim smoothed her hands through her hair and looked away. She could tell Walter was terribly embarrassed. She mentally kicked herself for drawing his attention to his undressed state. It was still upsetting her to see him feeling this low about himself. It hurt to see him acting so unsure and tentative. Walter was usually in control and sure of himself. In truth, and although Kim didn't want to admit it, she was unsettled to see him otherwise no matter how hard she tried not to be.

Mulder stared at Walter for a moment and then his face brightened.

"Hang on a second," he advised. Mulder walked over and laid the garment bag down on the end of the bed on top of Kim's clothes. Then he walked back to the closet.

He rooted around on the closet floor a minute and then he came out holding some blue sweat pants in triumph. The pants had the FBI logo on the one of the pockets.

"Viola! These are yours, Walter."

"Really?" Skinner asked half in profound relief and half in further confusion.

"Yeah, if you check I bet you have my FBI issue. I meant to return these. I took them after we showered at the gym about 3 months ago. Grabbed the wrong pair off the locker bench," Mulder smiled, handing the sweats to Skinner. Skinner took them in hand. "I did wash them," Mulder added with a small grin.

"I thought Walter's had shrunk in the wash," Kimberly chimed in, a chuckle in her voice.

"Damn lucky," Walter smiled tentatively at the agent.

"So, why don't you pull those on and then come on out for...coffee. It won't take long to brew some," Mulder replied going back to the end of the bed. He hefted the garment bag again. He ended up draping the bag over one arm.

Skinner blinked. The meaning in Mulder's words was clear. Come out and talk. Discuss. Unload. Unburden. He shifted uneasily. He shouldn't procrastinate any longer. He had to get it off his chest or likely lose his mind. He nodded and then spoke with very sincere gratitude in his voice.

"Thanks. Thanks for everything Mulder," Walter replied, holding the sweats against his waist.

"Yes, thank you, Fox," Kim added, smiling at the agent.

"No problem," Mulder nodded. He headed back over towards the bedroom door, retrieving a pair of gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt that were hanging from a hook on the back of it. He threw the clothes over the garment bag and then reached for the doorknob.

"Later," he added over his shoulder. Then he exited, closing the door behind him.

Walter let out a huge sigh of relief.

"I gotta take a piss," he mumbled bending to pull the blue sweat pants on.

"That makes two of us," Kim agreed sliding to get out of bed.

xXx

Later...in the kitchen.

Mulder poured coffee into the cups all ready set out on the table. Scully had shooed him over to set said table when he burned himself on the frying bacon. He still looked sleepy, Walter thought. The agent's hair was standing up in spikes all over his head. Walter was standing at the counter, toasting English muffins. Scully and Kim were making soft- boiled eggs and bacon. For once, Mulder's fridge was well stocked with food. Walter thought, with some wry amusement, that Scully's influence was certainly responsible for that state of affairs. It was also probably responsible for the fact that Mulder didn't look like a scarecrow anymore.

Scully appeared marginally more alert. She had evidently run a brush through her hair because it looked more together as Kim would say. Kim looked gorgeous - well she always did to Walter - no matter bed hair or what have you. Walter didn't have to worry about bed hair. No shit he thought with a self-depreciating shake of his head. He popped the English muffins up out of the toaster and began to butter them with alacrity.

They had agreed to eat a late breakfast. By almost tacit agreement the four of them had come to the conclusion that the news Walter would soon share was best absorbed on a full stomach. Skinner was surprised he had any appetite at all. Surprised any of them did really. But in truth he was hungry and he appreciated being able to fortify himself for the difficult discussion ahead.

Finally all four of them were seated at the table, food, juice and coffee at hand, eating in silence. They continued to chew in silence until three of them were finished eating and were on their second cups of coffee. They were silent until Walter began watching Mulder shovel down a second helping of bacon and eggs. The agent's table manners reminded him of when he'd been in the Marines. Eat it while there was time to eat it had made everyone in his squad wolves over their food most of the time. Besides, humping your pack through the stinking, hot jungle all day gave a soldier a hell of an appetite. Nam. Christ. He'd better get this show on the road, Walter thought as Mulder took another huge bite of egg. Before Skinner could clear his throat and suggest they all go talk in the living room, Mulder noticed he was under observation. His fork stopped in midair, egg dripping onto his plate.

"What?" he asked looking down at his shirt and then his plate

Scully rolled her eyes. She'd noticed Mulder was really bolting his food as well of course. He ate like a typical guy - but he didn't often eat like he was trying to win a pie eating contest. He was probably rushing either in a deliberate or perhaps unconscious effort to get to the point. He was making an effort to finish quickly so he could find out what Walter had to reveal. Well God. They all wanted to know but...her musings were interrupted my Skinner's distracted response.

"What?" Walter asked, coming up confused out of his reverie.

"Did I spill it on my t-shirt or what?" Mulder asked with some amusement in his voice.

"Wouldn't be the first time," Scully interjected, drawing a blank stare from Mulder.

Scully felt like sticking her tongue out at him but restrained herself.

"Hey, same to you Scully. And who dribbles ice cream down her chin and then lets it fall on her..."

"Hey, hey. We will not go there," Scully replied, shaking her fork at her partner.

"I'm sorry, I know I was staring. It's just that..." Walter began.

Both Scully and Mulder fell instantly silent and gave their attention to their boss.

Walter glanced at Kim and she took his hand in hers.

"It's just that I was thinking how you looked like me or one of the guys in my unit eating in the field. We used to wolf our food down fast In Country because...well because we usually didn't get much time to eat...." he let his voice trail off. Kim squeezed his hand.

"Walter..." Scully started to commiserate as well, but Skinner put his free hand up in a gesture to stop her.

"No. It's fine. We...let's go in the living room. I have some things I need to tell all of you. I'm more than ready to do it. Let's go," he gestured with his head and three of them rose, coffee cups in hand.

Mulder slammed down the last bit on his fork and then he also stood up, taking his coffee cup in hand as well.

Once they were in the living room there was a brief awkward moment when no one seemed to know where to sit. Scully finally settled the matter by indicating with her hand that Kim should sit on the couch. The couch was once more a couch since they'd folded it back up earlier. That solved Skinner's problem. He sat down beside her. Kimberly took his left hand in hers again.

Scully didn't hesitate long in seating herself in the new overstuffed chair that faced the couch. The coffee table had been moved back in front of the couch, between it and the chair. The table was a little far for her to reach, so Scully put her coffee cup down on the small table that sat next to the chair. She looked up at Mulder. There was a straight backed wooden chair next to the overstuffed chair. Mulder looked at it, sucking on his lower lip.

Walter could almost read what was on his mind. Sit down next to Scully and make it look like a meeting in the AD's office or...or what? Skinner was having that very same feeling - that except for Kimberly's presence next to him and not at some desk outside his door - this felt very much like a session between Assistant Director Walter Skinner and his two often annoying, but brilliant agents.

Skinner had just about decided to take the bull by the horns and tell Mulder to sit down this wasn't a conference, when the agent came to a decision. He smiled at Scully and lowering himself down, sat at her feet. Scully smiled down at him. Skinner caught the quick look of love that passed between them. Then Scully pulled her legs up, under her. It was comfortable for her sit that way due to her petite stature. Mulder leaned his lanky frame back against the chairs seat, his legs stretched out in front of him. Skinner sighed. Time for this meeting to come to order he thought grimly. He looked into Kim's eyes, saw the raw devotion mixed with worry there, and, gaining strength from both, began to tell his story.

"First of all I just want to say, this isn't my office in the J. Edgar Hoover Building, all right? I don't think we can stand on formality here any longer. Scully, Mulder...I know, and I think Kim would agree, that the two of you, well...you're the closest friends we have now. I...I just wanted to acknowledge that and tell you I appreciate it more than I can ever express," he looked down at his hands for a few moments to collect his thoughts.

"I can only second Walter's words," Kim added smiling weakly at Scully and then Mulder.

Kim's heart was beating hard. She knew this was going to be one of the single most difficult experiences she and Walter would ever have to face. She just knew in her very soul that what Walter had to say was going to be perhaps cataclysmic. At the very least it was going to irreversibly effect everyone in this room - and not for the best. Kim steeled herself for anything and prepared herself to listen carefully regardless of how painful it would be to hear what was said.

Dana Scully watched Walter Skinner and she knew this was going to be bad. Walter had found out something significant about his and Kim's infertility issues last night. Something had occurred, and Walter had gotten almost blind drunk over it. She wasn't sure what Walter had discovered but she was fairly sure, that in their line of work and with the dangers that swirled around them...it wasn't going to be good news. She tried to begin the distancing process that she usually put into place when dealing with witnesses in a particularly horrific case. It wasn't going to be easy and she knew she wouldn't be completely successful.

These were her friends now. Kim...Kim was almost like a sister to her. My God, Walter was her ex-lover. She still loved him. Oh, not in a sexual way any longer. But she admired, respected and felt a closeness to him now despite her reassertion of the supervisor/subordinate dynamic. Yes, that had something to do with all this too. This was the AD. Seeing him as a friend, a man, and a man in distress was pushing all kinds buttons with her. She could hardly fathom the emotions. However, she did know one thing. She knew she would support both Walter and Kimberly with her last dying breath.

Fox Mulder watched Walter and Kimberly with a mixture of concern, compassion and unfettered curiosity. He was more than willing by this point to acknowledge Walter Skinner as a friend. He all ready considered Kimberly one and having Walter on the short list of Mulder friends wasn't something he would find hard to do at all. He had the idea that he might have a little trouble keeping business separated from that arrangement. But not a whole lot of trouble. He had long known how to compartmentalize matters like that fairly well. And he thought with wry humor - if he forgot - Walter Skinner would certainly remind him.

So, yes. He was ready to accept Skinner as a friend. He was also ready to support him in any way possible. Especially if, what he had to tell them all had anything to do with The X-Files. Because that was where the feelings of curiosity came in. Mulder had seen Walter Skinner in the middle of his own personal X-File before. One that he wouldn't even admit was one as a matter of fact. But in this instance Mulder's sixth sense that ferreted out the bizarre, the paranormal was buzzing like a hive of bees.

Somehow it was all connected he thought. The dreams, the infertility and whatever Walter had found out last night. All Mulder had to do was wait and it would be revealed to all of them. But waiting was never easy for him. He was vibrating so hard with trying not to ask questions he felt like a blender set on liquefy. But he held his counsel. He held it partly because he knew Skinner would come to the point very soon. He also held it partly because Scully, knowing him as well as she did, had surreptitiously kicked him in the shoulder.

Scully spoke briefly at that point and Mulder turned his attention to her.

"I appreciate both of you saying that a lot. I think Mulder does too."

"No question," Mulder nodded with sincerity.

"I just want you to know we both consider you allies and friends as well. I mean, Kim, I...you're almost like a sister to me..." she let her voice trail off and looked down into her lap for a moment. Mulder reached up and touched her knee with affection.

Walter had looked up by this time of course. He spoke again.

"Scully, I know some of what I'm going to say may hurt you in a very fundamental way. It's because I consider you and Mulder friends that I just want to apologize for that eventuality right up front as well."

"This is about your inability to conceive isn't it?" Scully asked quietly looking up again at Skinner.

Before Walter could answer, Kim interrupted.

"Walter, I told them what we found out at Doctors Fuller's office. I'm sorry. I know you probably would have rather told them yourself but..."

"It just came out," Scully hastened to add.

"Oh. Well...It's ok. I would have told you eventually. I probably could have done it last night if I hadn't been drunk off my ass. Crap. Yeah - I'm gonna be apologizing for that forever, aren't I?" he gave a terse little grin and the tension in the room backed off a millimeter.

"Well...like I said..." Mulder began.

"Yeah, I know. But allow me to wallow in embarrassment for a while, all right? You probably won't see it happen very often. Revel in it," Skinner quipped, reaching to take up his coffee cup from the coffee table.

Mulder chuckled and reached down to get his coffee cup where he had placed it under the chair. By the time he'd taken a sip, Walter was talking again.

"In an event - yeah. This is about our inability to have a baby. I'm sorry this is even a topic of conversation given...uh...given your circumstances Scully."

Scully nodded but made a dismissive gesture with her hand.

"Walter, I can handle it. The point here is...you and Kim need help...so let Mulder and I help in whatever capacity we can, all right? I think I can let my feelings take a back seat here for a while," she stared at him seriously, "and this can't be easy for you either," she added sympathetically.

Skinner nodded back. He knew Scully had a backbone of steel sometimes. She was capable of becoming detached and stoic when matters necessitated she remain the consummate professional. Walter understood this because he had the same abilities. He had to hope that common ability would see them both through the gut ache ahead.

"All right. Agreed. I also just have to say," and he turned to Kim, "Kim. I know this is gonna hurt. I...I can't help it babe. Please, just...I'm sorry."

Kim nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She gripped his hand tight. Tears were close to welling up in her eyes.

"Go on..." she finally managed to whisper, "I need to know," she dropped his hand and moved closer, allowing their entire bodies to touch now, lending and receiving strength and solace through that connection.

Walter smiled gently and nodded at her. Then he turned and became serious again. He began to get to the explanation at last.

"Ok. We did see my doctor yesterday. Jackson Fuller. Jackson and I go way back - to Vietnam as a matter of fact. He was the corpsman who found me when I was wounded and road back in the evac chopper to the MASH unit with me," he began, "he also assisted in the surgery that saved my life," he added grimly.

"At any rate, Jackson determined, after a thorough physical exam, that I needed to see a fertility specialist. Since none of Kim's tests had indicated any reason for her to be unable to conceive, there was a distinct possibility that I was the problem."

"That you were sterile?" Scully asked quietly.

"Right. So, he was going to set up an appointment with a clinic so that we could check that out."

Both Mulder and Scully nodded their heads.

"I take it you found out something else last night besides the idea that your doctor wanted you to see a fertility specialist?" Mulder asked.

"You'd be taking that right, yes," Skinner nodded. He took one more drink from his coffee cup to clear the dryness from his throat and then he went on.

"When we got home from the appointment with Jackson, the phone at the townhouse was ringing."

"That was Jackson," Kimberly stated matter-of-factly. Walter looked at her in astonishment. Kim shrugged. Then he smiled just a little. Lawyer in the making. Not much difference between and agents and a lawyers powers of deduction when it comes right down to it.

"Yeah. It was Jackson all right. I didn't...honey I smelled something rotten right away just from the sound of his voice. He sounded desperate. Scared shitless in point of fact. I should have told you it was him right away. But his tone and demeanor on the phone made me think I should take the call in private first and then deal with telling you after I found out what the hell had him in a panic."

"Go on," Kim replied.

But he hadn't told her Kim thought. Kim didn't appreciate not being told either. She could understand where Walter was coming from there but it was annoying and upsetting nonetheless. Of course he was thinking of her welfare, her safety. He wanted to protect her. She understood that logically. But, logic told her also that by thinking of her that way Walter was also thinking of her as being helpless. Of being incapable of dealing with danger or tough, unsettling life issues. She didn't like that idea. It was something they would have to talk about later. They needed to get some better communication going over the fact the Kimberly was anything but a helpless individual. But...she would wait to a much better moment to bring up that subject. Now was not the time. Now was the time to hear exactly what happened between Jackson and Walter and how that would effect them all. She watched her husband as Walter Skinner began to speak again.

Walter got right to the point.

"Jackson wanted to meet me at that bar, Borders, near his office to talk to me. He needed to discuss my diagnosis. As it turned out he wouldn't have had to bother to refer me to a fertility clinic. He already knew the diagnosis. I'm sterile and he's partly the reason I am."

"Oh my God," Kim whispered.

"How?" Scully asked half in disbelief.

"Jackson's part of the conspiracy," Mulder stated quietly.

"Since Vietnam, yes," Walter nodded fixing the agent with his eyes. Skinner could practically see the wheels turning in Mulder's head. Possibilities being weighed and theories being posed, examined, accepted and rejected in turn. Walter nodded and went on to fill in more details.

"As to how...it seems that Fuller was...was suborned in Vietnam by representatives of the uh...that shadow government with which we're all to familiar. They made him an offer he couldn't refuse and he took it."

"Which was?" Mulder asked.

Which was? Skinner thought. Which was an offer that ruined my life he told himself. But he couldn't tell the agent that little piece of self defeatist crap. No, he had to shake off that shit and face the music here. Get strong. Fight back even though he felt like digging a hole, crawling into it and pulling the dirt back in on top of his body.

"Which was to insert chips during Mash unit surgery, into the bodies of soldiers wounded in action. These chips were supposed to...to cause a genetic alteration to the soldier's sperm - a very quick measurable change evidently, because the chips were only put in guys who weren't expected to survive."

"So they could be removed quickly and analyzed?" Scully asked.

"Right."

"What was the result of this genetic alteration supposed to be? Mulder asked.

"I gather from Jackson that he was told I was supposed to be one of the privileged few who would father a master race resistant somehow to invasion by the black oil. I guess it had something to do with combating the future invasion of Earth by...by the grays or whatever."

Walter still had trouble believing everything about the threat to mankind even now. But he'd seen enough over the years to realize that it was all coming down eventually and in exactly the way he had denied for so long. He was glad that he had at least told Kimberly of the dangers that could lie ahead. It was really time now to face the music. All four of them would have to face it together from here on out.

"Christ," Mulder shook his head.

"Walter, you're saying Jackson...that Dr. Fuller agreed to do this to you?" Kim asked, her voice shaky.

"He...Kim...yes, he did. But...I think he's paid the price for that mistake over and over for years. But he's trying to...to do the right thing now. And by doing that he's also put himself and his wife in great danger. I cautioned him to keep a low profile and call me if he runs into trouble."

"You mean you offered to help him?"

"Kim...I...I can't excuse what he did but I can understand it and try to forgive him for it. Yes, I...I think he could use our friendship and besides by helping him we may find out more information about the bastards that are perpetrating these kinds of atrocities."

"We should try to contact him at some point," Scully interjected.

"Yeah, I need to do that soon because I'm still worried about what he may do or what may be done to him," Walter nodded.

"We could make some calls after we...after we get done here," Mulder volunteered.

"Good idea. Yes, thanks," Walter nodded.

Kim remained silent and her hand shook slightly in his. Walter released Kim's hand and put his arm around her shoulders to comfort her.

"But, Walter if these chips were supposed to just alter your sperm somehow why..." Scully let her voice trail off uncomfortably for a second..."I'm sorry..." she mumbled. Mulder touched her knee gently and she continued. "Why are you sterile then?"

"I'm sterile because Jackson said he thinks there's a possibility the chip was really designed to make men sterile. He wasn't at all sure that the...that his associates didn't lie to him from the beginning regarding it's true purpose," Skinner replied, a trace of bitterness in his voice.

"Either that or the chips were unperfected and the sterility was an effect of some defect," Mulder suggested.

"He mentioned that possibility as well," Walter replied staring down into his coffee cup.

Kim shrugged out from under Walter's arm and stared at him for a moment. When she spoke her voice was filled with strain.

"You're telling me that...that someone who was supposed to be a healer, that a doctor put a device in your body that...that someone violated you this way and...and...God. Walter how can you forgive a man for doing something like that to you?

"Kim..." Walter began, turning to take her hand again. She moved away a little.

"Walter we can never have children of our own because of Jackson Fuller, and this...this damn syndicate or consortium or whatever they're called. Dana....Dana can't either..." Kim continued on.

Kim felt herself losing control. She knew she was and couldn't stop herself. The information had been too much to absorb in too short a time and now she wasn't able to cope any longer. All she could think of was Walter had been in essence raped, they would never be able to have children and their lives were more than likely still in danger from whatever forces had perpetrated this monstrous crime on them all. Her voice started to rise.

"How can you ever forgive a man like Jackson Fuller, Walter. How can you ever even look him in the face again?"

"Because he's my friend and I know he's suffering, Kim. I..." Walter began.

"HE'S suffering! For God's sake..." Kim let her voice fade suddenly. She rose and moved away from the couch.

"Kim?" Walter asked in bewilderment. He rose too and tried to stop her forward progress away from the group.

"No, just...I need to be alone for a minute. Leave me alone," she whispered, pushing past his outstretched hand.

Walter stepped back abruptly. He felt like her whispered words had slapped him in the face. He stood there dumbstruck as Kim rushed away from him.

Mulder and Scully sat there stunned as well. Kim fled down the hallway and they all heard the bathroom door slam shut a moment later. Walter suddenly regained his senses and started to head off after her.

"Walter, wait," Scully admonished him. Skinner stopped dead in his tracks and turned back towards her.

"I should go..."

"No, let me," Scully advised.

She pushed on Mulder's shoulders signaling him to scoot forward. She climbed out of the chair and moved to follow Kim.

"Sit tight you two...I'll...I'll talk to her," Scully tossed back over her shoulder as she headed off down Mulder's hallway towards the bathroom. Skinner and Mulder listened as she knocked on the door and asked Kim to open it. There was only a brief hesitation before they heard the door click open and Scully go in, shutting it behind her again.

Skinner sat heavily back down on the couch and Mulder came over and sat down beside him.

"Can I get you any more coffee?" he asked with a wince. He was really at a loss for something better to say.

"No...I'm fine," Walter replied automatically. Then he gave a brief bitter chuckle. "Shit, that's a fucking misstatement," he added shaking his head.

"Sir...uh...Walter...I really am sorry," Mulder replied awkwardly. He wanted to put his arm around Skinner's shoulders but he thought that might embarrass the older man. Instead he extended his hand as if offering a handshake.

Skinner hesitated for second and then grasped his hand firmly and to Mulder's surprise pulled him into a brief bear hug. Mulder slapped his back a couple of times and then they released each other. Both looked a little sheepish but Skinner did look marginally more comfortable.

"Thanks Mulder," he mumbled.

"No problem," the agent ducked his head a little.

"Think they'll be in there long?" Skinner asked craning his neck in the direction of the bathroom.

"They might be. If Kim's crying then Scully's probably crying too and I know she won't come out until she's erased the evidence," Mulder grinned a little.

Skinner turned and looked back at him. He returned the grin a bit and then his face lapsed into a serious expression again.

"Mulder..."

"There's more isn't there?" Mulder asked quietly.

"Yeah," Skinner nodded looking down at his hands. Skinner had seen it in his eyes again. That need to know. He suspected Skinner hadn't told him everything. He could only surmise the agent might suspect his father's involvement as well given the bastard's previous track record. Skinner turned to face Mulder again.

"Did someone from this uh...project Fuller was involved in come to Nam to offer him this deal...or was it done indirectly?" Mulder asked, his eyes playing over Skinner's face.

"Jackson said three men came to see him. Suits. Government men for sure. I'd bet they were direct operatives in the project, uh...the Consortium I mean."

"Cancer man?"

"Jackson claimed one of them chain smoked Morleys, so yes, that's probably a good bet."

"Walter...was one of them my father?" Mulder asked in a low voice.

Skinner had dreaded the question but knew it was likely to come. Mulder went on in a dream-like voice and Skinner listened intently.

"I have a vague memory of my father telling us he...he was going on a trip to someplace warm...to the jungle just before...just before my sister was abducted. Sam asked him if they had tigers in this jungle where he was going and he said "no Samantha, but I'm taking a tiger with me for protection."

"Shit," Skinner rumbled. Jesus, Bill Mulder was one sick son of a bitch he thought.

Mulder came back to himself and shrugged.

"He brought us back little water buffalo carvings and some gold inlaid chopsticks," he mumbled looking down at the floor.

Skinner swallowed the bitter taste of disgust that flooded his mouth.

"Mulder, I can't lie to you. Jackson said one of the people who offered him the deal was named Mulder."

Mulder nodded and looked back up, "I...I guess you know I'm doubly sorry for that too."

Skinner studied the agent's face. He didn't like the agonized look that shone from his eyes at all. It worried him. He needed Mulder sharp here, not wallowing in self pity. Besides, it upset him at a very basic level to know that this man, that his friend was aching so much. If Skinner was hurting, Mulder was hurting as well. All of them were in the same boat of hurt as a matter of fact. He felt it was his duty to try to alleviate some of that gut ache. To lighten all their loads if he could. Years of taking it all on his own shoulders came back into play. He found the idea almost comforting. A way to reestablish control over an unenviable situation. He placed his hand on Mulder's shoulder and squeezed a little.

"Fox," Skinner began in order to make sure he had the younger man's attention.

"Sir...I'd really appreciate it right now if...if you'd not use my first name. Uh...just not right now, all right?" Mulder blinked and looked away.

"All right, Mulder. But listen to me, agent," Skinner growled bringing Mulder's attention back to him instantly.

"Sir?"

"Mulder, you can't be sorry for something you had no control over. The sins of the father's shouldn't be visited on the sons. You have nothing to be sorry for, Mulder. Do you hear me? Nothing." Skinner hissed, pinning Mulder's eyes.

Skinner could see Mulder's Adam's apple work up and down. He stared into Skinner's eyes and then he nodded once.

"All right. Uh...it's just wasn't an easy thing for me to hear. I...I guess I need some time to process the idea. I mean I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised after all given my father's track record..." he let the thought trail off.

Skinner waited for him to continue and when he didn't he prompted him.

"I know it's an unpleasant thing to realize that your father isn't all you..."

"It's ok, Walter - I...I'll...I'll get this assimilated here somehow. Let's...just fuck it for now. Listen...I know...I know there's still more to this story. I don't mean this Consortium shit either."

"What?" Skinner asked momentarily caught off guard.

"The dreams Walter. We've got to talk about the dreams."

Skinner ran a hand over his face and sighed deeply.

"Mulder, this part is going to be really hard to explain."

"I've heard hard to explain before, Walter. Plenty of times as you can well imagine. Try me," Mulder replied, furrowing his brow in concentration.

Dana Scully handed Kim another Kleenex from the box on the back of the toilet. Kimberly accepted it gratefully, sniffling as she did. Scully wiped her own nose again as well and tossed her tissues in the trash can near by.

"I'm sorry," Kim mumbled, blowing her nose. Scully waited until she'd tossed her tissues away as well, and then she answered her friend.

"Kim, there's nothing to be sorry about. I can more than understand why you're upset."

Kim looked up at her from her seat on the edge of the bathtub. Scully sat down next to Kim as the taller woman composed herself further.

"Dana, this has to be doubly upsetting for you under the circumstances, doesn't it?" she sniffed again. "I admire your courage."

Scully tried to shrug off her own pain. Of course the whole sterility issue was painful for her. She and Mulder were going to have to deal with it as a couple for the rest of their lives just as Walter and Kim would have to do. She was beginning to realize she could cope with it. It wasn't easy - in fact it hurt a great deal. But she was going to deal with the hurt as she had done so many times with other hurtful things in the past. Besides, she wanted to be there for Kim now too and sharing this situation would only help them both to grow more strong.

"Kim, I guess...I guess I'm learning to deal with my sterility. Of course it's terribly painful and it's something Mulder and I will have to deal with for the rest of our lives together. As for the courage idea..." she didn't get to finish because Kim interrupted her.

"Rest of your lives together? Dana...what...did Fox..."

Scully smiled a bit shyly as she replied, "Yeah, Mulder asked me to marry him."

"Oh Dana!" Kim exclaimed moving to hug Scully. She drew her close and squeezed her tight for a moment and then released her. She smiled gently at her.

"Where's the ring?" she demanded a teasing tone in her voice.

"Oh Lord. Well it took us forever to decide on designs. Mulder wanted to have them custom made. So, you can imagine how that went. We finally had them made specially and then they had to be redone because Mulder didn't think mine was quite right and to tell you the truth, I agreed with him. At any rate, we're supposed to pick them up next week."

"I'm so excited. This is just fantastic," Kim enthused, her troubles forgotten for a moment.

Scully touched her friends hand.

"Thanks, Kim. I...I do want you to be maid of honor - eventually. I don't think we're ready to take the walk down the aisle quite yet. I haven't even told my mother."

"Oh. Well I can keep the secret until you're ready. Can I tell Walter though?"

"Oh yes, by all means. We were going to tell you both, we just didn't...well we didn't have the time..." Scully let her voice trail off and she grew serious again as did Kimberly.

"Yeah, this wouldn't have exactly been conducive to telling us would it?" Kim sighed.

"I guess not," Scully murmured, patting Kim's knee.

Kim looked into Dana's eyes for a second and then looked down at her hands.

"Can I ask you a question, Dana?"

"Sure, hon," Scully replied.

"Did Fox ever lie to you - even a lie by omission?"

Scully couldn't help a snort of laughter which made Kim look up at her abruptly, eyebrow raised.

"Lied to me by omission, ditched me, argued like hell with me, made me feel like a fool for my beliefs..."

"And your marrying this guy?" Kim asked only half in jest.

"Well I've done the same to him, Kimberly. I mean...we're only human. Mulder and I have such a deep bond that even when we do lapse into more human frailties we can get past it and reach an understanding. We love and respect each other deep down even when we're ripping the heart out of each other's theories. Why do you ask? Are you upset because Walter kept you in the dark about going to see Fuller?"

"Yes, I am. I know that's selfish too Dana. I should be more upset and worried about what was done to Walter not some slight I perceived was done to me. But Walter has never lied to me, Dana, he's never left me out before. It...it just hurt me so much to think he didn't trust me enough."

"I'm not sure it had to do with trust Kimberly."

"Oh I know that deep down, I guess. He was trying to protect me. But, Dana that infantilizes me - turns me into the helpless little woman. I hate being made to feel that way. My uncle made my aunt feel that way and it's so damaging."

Scully pursed her lips. Ok. She could understand that idea. Mulder had done some of that in the past...until she straightened him out. Now he tried to keep his over-protective tendencies at least under control as much as he could. He knew it drove her up the wall.

"Honey, if you feel that way then you need to talk to Walter about it. I had to have a similar discussion with Mulder. More than one to be really honest. Believe me, it helps. Just talk to him about it when things settle down and I'm sure he'll listen."

Kim nodded and replied, "I know that's the right thing to do. Walter's a good listener. He always does listen to me."

"Exactly. And as for the rest of all this...I think it's horrible what was done to Walter. But I can understand why he wants to help Jackson Fuller..."

Kim interrupted, with a wave of her hand, "Oh I know that too. Walter is that kind of man. He...he had an underlying compassion for people that others don't often realize is there. It's typical of him to try to forgive a friend. I just lost it in there, Dana. I...it was so upsetting I guess I couldn't think straight."

Scully nodded, "I guess thinking 'straight' kind of goes out the window in general where the X-Files is concerned, Kim. I learned years ago that you have to roll with the punches."

"It's too bad those punches always feel like they're delivered to the stomach," Kim replied, grimacing slightly.

Scully gave her a tight smile.

"I can't argue with you there. Kim, I'm not sure what's going to happen next. You know the kind of work that Walter does in...in trying to help Mulder and I with the X-Files. You were privy to some of it when you were working for the Bureau and as you say, Walter has been truthful with you about it now. I...I've really valued your support since we've become close. I hope...I'm hoping that if you let me...we can help each other to stay strong," Scully whispered reaching for Kim's hand.

Kim took Scully's hand in hers.

"Yes, we need to stick together," Kim whispered.

"We all need to stick together," Scully replied.

Kim patted Scully's hand and then released it. She rubbed her eyes a little and straightened her shoulders.

"We'd better get back in there. They're going to wonder what's happening."

"Yes. And I want to find out what's happening out there too," Scully pursed her lips.

Both women gathered themselves together and made ready to exit the bathroom.

xXx

"I've heard 'hard to explain' before, Walter. Plenty of times as you can well imagine. Try me," Mulder was saying as Kim and Scully reentered the living room.

Skinner stood instantly and went to Kim, taking her in his arms.

"Are you all right?" he rumbled into her ear, "I'm sorry..."

"No, it's ok. I...I should apologize too. We...we can talk about it later," Kim whispered kissing him on the cheek.

Scully moved back to the chair she had been sitting in and she and Mulder watched slightly embarrassed at the display of emotion between Skinner and Kim.

"I can take you home," Skinner offered, pulling back a little and stroking Kim's hair.

"No...no, that's fine. I'm...I'm better now. "Besides Dana and I made a pact. We're forming a two girl gang here for moral support," Kim replied giving a game smile.

"Oh oh. Sounds like trouble," Mulder interjected, smirking a little.

"Oh shut up, Mulder. You know you love it when I act tough," Scully teased, raising an eyebrow.

Mulder laughed and a lot of lingering tension left the room. Skinner pulled Kim close for one more hug.

"We'll talk about your concerns later then. I mean that," Skinner assured Kim sincerely.

"Oh we definitely will," Kim affirmed, looking deep into Walter's eyes. She wanted to makes sure Skinner understood she had issues here even though she was attempting to overcome them. As Skinner studied her and then nodded slightly, Kim added, "But...I'm trying to understand about Jackson."

"Thank you," Skinner answered simply.

Kim stroked his shoulder as Skinner released her. "Now...what was this about something else that was hard to explain?" she added, glancing at Mulder as well.

Skinner's mouth dropped into a tight line. He nodded and made to return to the couch. Mulder got up and moved back over to sit at Scully's feet as she took her position in the chair again. Kim returned to the couch as well and sat down next to Skinner.

Skinner composed himself.

Now where do I begin? he thought, trying to compose his thoughts. He wanted to talk about the dreams but he wasn't sure how far he should go into it. The dreams were incredibly personal even though Mulder and Scully had a pretty good idea about his relationship with Cracker after the incident with Krycek and Marita. He knew divulging and trying to explain what he thought the dreams meant might be vital to all of them. He just needed to work out how to deliver the message as best he could.

To make it more difficult, he was talking to three different personalities here. It was going to be a hard sell even though two of them were at least partly privy to the facts. He had to deal with Mulder, a believer, Scully, a skeptic and Kim, a woman who was willing to believe because she loved him but was still a lawyer in training - analytical and demanding of as much proof as Dana Scully. A woman who wasn't privy to all the facts regarding Cracker's walking into Mulder's head, or his orchestrating of three way clandestine meetings in dreams.

And hell...he was struggling himself to believe what was happening with Cracker Rand as well. How could he discuss this and convince others if he hardly believed it himself? He knew what John had told him in that Georgia porch roof dream. Last nights dream had shoved John's point home - God - in more ways than one and quite literally. But how could he explain what he'd been trying to deny to himself all this time? Where the hell should I begin? he thought.

Skinner swallowed and did the only thing he knew to do. He began at the beginning.

"Kim, I know you remember me telling you about my uh...affair with Marita as well as the whole incident with Alex Krycek, right?"

Kim looked down at her hands and then back up at him.

"Yes. I guess you could say that circumstances surrounding Marita and Alex Krycek were indirectly responsible for us falling in love, Walter. I remember everything you told me."

"Well...there are a few things I didn't tell you," he replied in a quiet voice.

Kim stared at him for a minute, annoyance playing across her face. Then she seemed to rein herself in and nodded.

"All right. Does this have something to do with Marita?" she replied slowly.

"Not directly, no. It has more to do with...with someone Mulder and Scully...uh...met during the incident with Marita and Krycek..." Skinner let his voice trail off for a moment.

Scully straightened up in her chair and raised an eyebrow.

"Walter...does this have something to do with John Rand?" she asked, the first hints of incredulity in her voice.

"Scully..." Mulder began to cut in, attempting to head her skepticism off at the pass.

"John Rand?" Kimberly interrupted confusion plain on both her face and in her voice, "They met John Rand? Walter, John's dead."

Walter Skinner ran his hand up under his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He dropped his hand and sighed deeply.

"Right now I'm not so sure about that Kim. I'm not so sure at all," he replied.

"What...what do you mean. Did he survive somehow?" Kim asked, her voice shaky.

"Sir...now hold on. Are you saying he's alive and trying to contact you or..." Scully interrupted, formally.

"No, I think what Walter's saying is he's dead and trying to contact him," Mulder interjected eagerly, "In your dreams, right, sir?"

"Oh now I am really confused," Kim blurted out in dismay. "In your dreams? In your Vietnam nightmares?"

"In those and well...you know some of them aren't nightmares...we've...we've talked about those too," Skinner replied, shifting in his discomfort.

"What is going on here, Walter? I don't understand. Are you trying to say Cracker Rand is a ghost and he...he's haunting you?" Kim asked, straining to grasp what her husband was saying.

Scully rolled her eyes and Mulder caught the look.

"Scully, you can't disbelieve what happened between Rand and me. I mean you were there when he stepped into my head."

"I saw something happen in the warehouse, yes. But there could still be a scientific explanation for what I saw."

"Oh right."

"No, Mulder. Just because I don't have the explanation doesn't mean one doesn't exist.

"But you'll have to admit that..."

"What are you saying!?" Kim exclaimed, holding up her hands.

"STOP - ALL OF YOU!" Skinner shouted bringing them all to silence instantly.When he had their attention he spoke more reasonably. "If you'll just let me order my thoughts, I'll attempt to explain."

"Sorry, sir," Scully nodded, flushing with embarrassment.

"Go on, sir," Mulder added.

Skinner glanced at Kim. Kim merely nodded, somewhat in shock.

"I'm sorry Kim. I know this is difficult. I'll do my best to make it more clear."

"Go on then," she whispered.

Skinner took a deep breath and plunged in.

"I've had vivid dreams about Vietnam for years. As you all know I had counseling because of them at one point. My dreams at that juncture were...well as Mulder thought...of a psychic nature involving Sharon's assault and death. At the time...well, I didn't understand any of it. I dismissed it as something not worth understanding because I was afraid to look any further into the unknown I guess. Uh...there's precedence for my doing that before. I...I disavowed, suppressed and ignored my near death experience in the war for years.

At any rate, if Mulder's theories were true....I may have some kind of...precognitive dreaming ability. I'm still not sure if that's the case, but I certainly do seem to be having dreams that are trying to tell me something - where John is trying to tell me something. It's just been very difficult to understand and then rationalize the message. So, I've had dreams and nightmares about my war experience for years. But these dreams and nightmares are taking on a new dimension regarding my...my relationship with John and then John's death, of course."

"We know...we all know I guess, that you and John were lovers, Walter," Scully stated gently.

Skinner looked down at his hands.

"I'd have to say I've had two real loves in my life, Scully. The first was John Rand. The second is Kim. I...I loved John very deeply. His death was...I still have trouble dealing with his death even now," he answered in a whisper.

Kim reached over and took his hand, squeezing it briefly. She released it and he straightened up again, pinning Kim's eyes.

"You've never seen a picture of John have you Kim?" he asked suddenly.

"No...you never did show me a photo of him. I never asked to see one because I thought...well...I thought it might be too painful for you. I thought you might not even have a picture of him."

"You would have been right about it being painful. But...I do have a photo," he replied. Scully...uh...sorry. Where's my wallet?"

"Oh. Uh, I'm sorry. I put your wallet in the night stand in Mulder's bedroom. Let me get it," Scully replied, getting up. She walked briskly away and back towards Mulder's bed room. When she returned she handed Skinner his wallet and then sat back down.

"Thank you," he said.

Walter flipped the wallet open. He fished at the back of the plastic photo sleeve inside and from below a photo of his mother and sister, pulled out a small picture. He placed the wallet on the coffee table.

"This is John," he said simply, handing the photo across to Kimberly. Kim took it, her hand shaking a little. She studied it, and then she looked at Mulder.

"Oh my God!"

"In folklore that would be called a doppelganger, Kimberly. An exact double," Mulder explained hastily.

"A younger version," Kim nodded, her hand going to her mouth. She placed the photo down on the coffee table and continued to stare at it.

"As I looked at around 18 or 19," Mulder replied.

"His records do list him as killed in action Kim. So, we could assume it's likely he's dead. But...as we know...records can be falsified..." Scully began.

Kim looked back up and Scully and lowered her hand from her face.

"I saw his head blown off Scully," Skinner hissed, annoyance creeping into his voice.

Scully gave him a serious look, "Yes sir, I know you 'thought' you saw him die."

"Oh great...so you're going to tell me I imagined his death in some marijuana induced haze or something?"

"God, Scully just because I told you he said he inhaled..." Mulder choked out.

"Jesus, Mulder!" Scully replied deeply affronted, "I never meant to imply anything connected with drug use. What I meant was...the shock of battle could have..."

"Scully?" Skinner interrupted in his best AD command voice.

"Sir?" Scully answered, raising her eyebrow.

"John Rand was killed in action. I'm not mistaken. Believe me. I saw his brains on my flack jacket."

Scully fell silent and looked down, "I'm sorry...I was just..."

"I know Scully. Look. I find this all hard to believe too. But I have to believe because I don't know what else to do," Skinner replied.

Kim looked at Skinner again.

"Walter, what did Fox mean about Rand walking into his head?" she asked quietly, studying Skinner's face.

"When I was beaten by Krycek and lay strapped down and dying in that warehouse, John somehow...walked into Mulder's mind and...saved my life. He talked to me, sang to me...did everything he could to help me to hang on until the paramedics could arrive. He also...before that even...helped me to cope with the beating. I would have died if he hadn't been there, Kim. He kept me from giving up by...by being in my mind and then possessing Mulder so he could have direct physical contact with me."

"I did experience a very strange sensation in the warehouse. It was as if someone was looking over my shoulder and then like...like someone was whispering to me. After that I didn't remember anything that happened for a while. When I came back, I was stroking Walter's head and the paramedics were there," Mulder added.

"So you're saying John was...there in spirit and that he entered your mind to help you cope with the beating and then into Mulder's to make sure you would survive until medical help arrives?" Kim asked Walter carefully.

"Essentially, yes. And...he's been coming into my dreams now more frequently. For weeks he's been in them trying to warn me of some amorphous danger which he doesn't seem to be able to pinpoint but which is nonetheless on the horizon. He's also...also seems to be trying to.."

Mulder interrupted, his barely contained excitement evident in his voice and gestures.

"I think John Rand can enter my mind in this manner precisely because he does look like me," Mulder added eagerly This was Mulder's oeuvre - an X-File - and despite the fact it was causing people he considered friends deep personal anguish, he couldn't help but be excited at the prospect of investigating the unknown and uncovering the truths to be found there. "We may have some kind of...psychic connection because we're in essence, astral twins."

"Astral twins?" Scully blurted, starting to object to the sheer implausibility of Mulder's statement. But then she grew pensive.

"What's on your mind, Scully?" Mulder prompted into her pursed lips.

"Well...you did have that dream," she mused. The she turned to Skinner. "Mulder...Mulder dreamt that John Rand was in his head and the two of you were together...." Scully began, shaking her head. She still couldn't quite bring herself to believe it even though she had been there during Mulder's very vivid dream.

"...sitting on a porch roof in Georgia and looking out into a peach orchard at an approaching summer storm," Mulder interjected, a dreamy cadence to his voice.

"Exactly. John told me in the dream that he was riding shotgun in your head that night and that you were fighting him. He said...Scully was trying to wake you up," Skinner affirmed.

"Right, we were together that evening," Mulder replied. "He was going on and on about a storm coming. He was trying to get me to stick around and listen but I...well to tell you the truth he was freaking me out," Mulder added embarrassed and a little guilty.

"But what is he trying to warn you about, Walter? The...the Consortium? Jackson's role in the experiments? What?" Kim asked, a little fear creeping into her voice.

Skinner wanted to comfort her but he didn't think anything he would say could help assuage her apprehension. He had to hope that the strength he knew Kim possessed would come to the forefront now and help her to cope.

"I'm not sure John...I'm not sure he knows or if he does he can't communicate it. Also...I can't always remember the whole dream. It comes to me in flashes and when I wake up...I just can't quite grasp parts of it. Sometimes the whole dream slips away before I can decipher what John said or did. But the dreams are getting more intense. It really is as if he's trying, in part, to warn me that my life is in danger but from who or what he can't say."

"I'm sorry, I'm still having a lot of trouble believing this, sir," Scully sighed. "Dreams...dreams are mostly the unconscious mind's way of dealing with everyday problems. The mind's way of coping with stress. Perhaps...perhaps your concerns over the inability to conceive, over the sterility, are being addressed in this manner when you're asleep."

"Scully can you just humor us for now?" Mulder whispered. "Just let us...brainstorm a little here. Help us out here with our theorizing. Maybe we'll come up with something more scientific later, but for now...I just have a gut feeling we need to accept what's happening and go with it for Walter's, and maybe even our own, safety."

Scully studied Mulder for a few seconds and then she let her breath out again in a sigh.

"All right. I can at least listen," she replied.

"Thank you, Dana," Walter replied sincerely.

Scully nodded in his direction and Mulder began speaking again.

"You know, sir - many hauntings are explained by saying that the deceased has unfinished business here on this plane before he or she moves on to the next. Maybe John has that idea. Did he ever do anything that he thinks he needs to atone for with you...or maybe that he owes you in some way?" Mulder asked.

Skinner thought for a moment.

"Well there's a possibility that John thinks he's responsible for the squad getting wiped out in the ambush. He...he and I were on point that morning and he's said in the dreams on occasion that it was his fault because he talked to me and distracted us both. I used to say the same thing to him though," Skinner replied, adding the last bit in a near whisper.

"That could be what he considers a debt," Mulder nodded. "Some ghosts can't move on until they've discharged that debt. They...it's their way of evening out the karma you might say."

"Or maybe he just loves him," Kim whispered.

"What?" Skinner replied, turning to look at her.

"Maybe he loved...loves you too, Walter. Maybe he's trying to...to stay with you in order to try to protect you from beyond the grave because of that love," Kim clarified.

Everyone stared at her. Her words drilled themselves into Skinner's mind. She had hit the proverbial nail on the head here he realized. This was probably the crux of the matter. It was the point that Skinner had been denying to himself all along. John really did love him and now...John wanted to prove that love in a basic and profound way.

Skinner could understand what John saw as his debt. John felt he was responsible for not only Walter's near death but also his sterility since if he hadn't been wounded, Jackson would never have gotten to him. John is attempting to protect him from the agents of those who injured him - Krycek and Marita. John may feel Skinner's life is in danger from the Consortium in the near future because he discovered the reasons for his sterility. And last but not least - John may not be able to move on because he needs to....he wants Walter and Kim to... Oh Christ...this is really too much to believe. His mind whirled around where his thoughts were taking him until he couldn't deny them any longer.

"Jesus," he whispered.

"What?" Scully asked fixing on the look of surprise on Skinner's face.

"Sir?" Mulder asked.

Skinner looked at Kimberly, astonishment crossing his face. Then he looked at Mulder and Scully and spoke.

"I think...I think Kimberly may be on the right track here. I think John does love me too. I think he feels he owes me a debt as well. I think he feels responsible for my being wounded and ultimately being rendered sterile during the surgery to save my life. I think quite possibly he can't leave this plane until he discharges that debt," Walter stated.

"But how, Walter?" Kim asked.

"I think...I think John is trying to help us have a baby," Skinner replied in a quiet voice.

All three of Skinner's listeners stared at him, stunned, for several seconds. Then Scully spoke.

"Walter," Scully began carefully, "I think that you've been under a lot of pressure lately and..."

"Wait...Scully I think I know what..." Mulder cut in.

Kim held up one finger, swallowing hard as she tried to get her words out.

"Can we all just let Walter speak," Kim interjected. "I'm sorry but...but I really just need to hear his whole explanation. This is...this is getting to be way to personal and too much for me to process with so many interruptions. Can you just hold your objections and questions until the end?"

Scully's face became contrite. Mulder practically vibrated with the need to keep talking but he held it in.

"I'm sorry, sir," Scully murmured.

"Go on, sir," Mulder nodded.

Skinner swallowed and prepared himself to deliver one of the hardest explanations for anything that he'd ever given.

"All right, look. I believe - and yeah Mulder this is definitely a friggin' X-File even I have to admit that - that John Rand feels he'll settle our debt if he helps Kim and I conceive a child. I...I always liked to think that John loved me too. He said it often but...well, I had a hard time believing someone could love me that much...even back then. So...you know...I discounted it. But evidently he was sincere because I think now besides the debt...he really wants me to be happy with Kim and for us to have a child."

"God..." Scully whispered, doubt and acceptance warring on her face.

Skinner nodded. He knew how incredibly strange this sounded. If Scully doubted he couldn't really blame her. He was still having a hard time going with the idea as well even as he articulated it. He continued to speak.

"All this stuff about the warning I'm a little more hazy about. But maybe the warning has to do with my discovering the sterility and how I was rendered sterile. John may feel that we have to proceed very carefully towards fulfilling his...plan because it's dangerous otherwise. That makes sense to me under the circumstances. But...I think his desire...his wish is that Kim and I have a baby so he can consider things even between us and move on."

"He seems to realize that he's trapped here. That's not always the case in these situations," Mulder added helpfully. "If that's the case then yeah, he could be trying actively to act on the debt."

"Exactly," Skinner replied.

"But...but I don't understand how he thinks he can help us have a baby, Walter. I mean, you're...you're not going to be able to father a child, honey. How...what is he suggesting you...we do?" Kim asked, confusion welling up in her again.

Skinner looked from Kim, to Scully and then over at Mulder. Skinner almost couldn't bring himself to say it. He studied the agent's face carefully. He could see the wheels turning there once again. Mulder knew. Skinner could tell he knew, and took comfort in that knowledge. The fact that Mulder had reached the same conclusion he had gave him the confidence to continue. He just hoped the agent was going to buy what they both knew now. That he would agree with it. Because if he didn't - John would never be at peace, and he and Kim would have to find another solution to the problem of conceiving a child.

Mulder made an almost imperceptible tilt of his chin signaling Skinner that he should indeed spit it out. Skinner turned to Kim and gave her his answer.

"I...I think John wants Mulder to father our child, Kim," Walter Skinner replied, embarrassment mixed with doubt, fear, and hope weighing heavily in his chest.

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