Past Imperfect by Ceares

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Back to Part 1

SVS2-08: Past Imperfect by Ceares, Part 2

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The next morning, before they could make any calls, a familiar bellow sounded. "Sandburg, Ellison, my office please."

The two men looked at each other and shrugged, neither taking responsibility for their Captain's less than happy tone.

"Would either of you gentlemen like to tell me why I have a Federal Agent from Atlanta crawling up my butt regarding somebody named Emil Donovan?"

"An old... friend of Blair's works for him, and she might be in some trouble. The check we ran on him must have sent up some red flags."

Simon leaned back against his desk, arms folded. "And you were planning on telling me this exactly when?"

Blair looked over at Jim who shrugged. He stepped forward using his best 'placate the captain' voice. "You were in that meeting all morning, Simon, and it wasn't really official, we're just trying to help out a friend."

If the continued frown on Simon's face was any indication, it didn't work. "Yeah, you want to give me details so I don't look like a complete idiot when Agent Dennis comes back this afternoon?"

Blair sighed. "Natalie, my friend, showed up a couple of days ago. She was obviously scared of something. Her boyfriend is missing."

"And she thinks her boss has something to do with it?"

Jim nodded. "Uh-huh. Boyfriend was apparently planning a permanent, paid vacation, courtesy of Mr. Donovan."

"So how does she know he didn't take it?" Simon folded his arms and leaned back against his desk.

"Well, seems he was planning on taking her with him."

The captain arched one dark brow. "Maybe he's suffering from a fear of commitment. It's been known to happen."

"Maybe, but Natalie thinks something happened to him."

"Did she report him missing?"

Blair shook his head. "No. She's spooked. She thought nobody at the job knew about them, and considering she suspected her boss of making him go bye-bye, she kind of wanted to keep it that way. We just convinced her to contact the Atlanta PD."

Simon nodded. "So, what did you find out during your unofficial search?"

"Emil Martin Donovan is apparently a pillar of Atlanta society. A poor boy made good. He married his boss's daughter and took over the company, leading it to be one of the top import/export firms in the South. He regularly donates to charities, and is seen at all the right functions with his lovely and devoted wife on his arm."

"Nice fairy tale, now what's the real story?"

Jim grinned. "Mr. Donovan is suspected of having Mafia associations and indulging in several illegal activities, including smuggling and money laundering."

"So boyfriend gets information on boss, and rather than pay him off, boss makes boyfriend disappear?"

Jim nodded. "That's what we think so far. It's not a lot to go on, but Natalie is genuinely afraid, Simon, and we'd like to help her. Last night, Donovan's assistant showed up at her hotel with a gun."

"You two don't like things simple, do you?"

Jim sighed. "You have no idea, Simon."

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Agent Dennis was ecstatic with the information they gave him, and he insisted on talking to Natalie immediately. Rather than have her bring Jesse back to the station, Jim and Blair escorted the agent to the loft.

"About a year ago, Mark Richards approached us with an offer to work as an informant on Donovan. He'd provided some information, but truthfully, nothing we could use to convict the man. The last time I saw him, he said he had something big. Big enough to put Donovan away for a long time." Dennis was seated at the table with Natalie, leaning forward intently as he spoke. "Apparently, he had a change of heart, and decided to strike out on his own. Now, I need to know what it is that Donovan wants from you."

Natalie shook her head, looking stunned at the information. "I don't know... Mark said he had some kind of insurance that would make Mr. Donovan leave us alone, but he never told me what it was." Tears filled her eyes. "He never told me anything I guess."

Blair reached over and took her hand in his, turning angry eyes on Agent Dennis. "That's enough, man, she's already told you everything she knows." The eager agent had made Natalie repeat the story twice now.

The FBI man sighed in frustration. "Which helps us not diddly! Look, I want this bastard, and you, Ms. Barrett, are the only thing linking him to Mark's disappearance. He obviously thinks you have what it is he's looking for, and we want him to keep thinking that."

"What are you saying?"

Jim stepped closer to his partner and Natalie, forming a protective barrier between the two of them and the other man. "He's saying he wants to use you as bait. Isn't that right, Agent Dennis?"

"Hell no! Are you crazy?" It was an immediate protest from Blair. "It's not just her we're talking about -- she has a kid, man."

"She should have thought about that before she got involved in extortion."

"You son of a..." Blair started to rise, until Natalie laid a restricting hand on his arm.

"No, he's right. I got not just me, but Jesse in this. It wasn't the money, you know. I love Mark. He was going to do it anyway. My only choice was whether to go with him or not." She looked up at the agent. "I want this to be over, and I want my child to be safe. Whatever I have to do to accomplish that, I'm willing."

The agent nodded, his expression sympathetic now that his plans were in motion. "The first thing we do is move you to a safe house. Then, in controlled situation, you contact Donovan and tell him you have what he's looking for. Offer to make him the same deal Mark did."

"They don't go into a safe house without us." The statement came, not from Blair, but from Jim.

"Detective Ellison, this is a federal case; it is not your jurisdiction. I appreciate the help you've given me in this, but from here on out, it's strictly a government play."

Arms folded, Jim faced him implacably. "No offense, but we've been involved with government plays before. They don't go without us."

The agent looked at the way Natalie was clinging to Blair, and decided discretion was the better part of valor. "Well, I guess it won't hurt to have an extra gun. Let me see what I can do."

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Agent Dennis had gotten them settled at the safe house almost immediately, only giving them enough time to call Simon and let him know what was going on, and to pack. The captain wasn't happy about the situation, but he understood loyalty to a friend, and since he wasn't a particular fan of the Feds either, he told Jim to take as long as he needed. Two agents were assigned to the house, and Dennis called repeatedly to check on things. He was working on getting everything set up for the sting operation.

Jim and Blair had taken separate rooms, one on either side of Natalie and Jesse, which ruled out any late night trips down the hall, and they were forced to sneak a quick snuggle whenever they could.

"Man, I miss sleeping with you."

Jim nodded as he pulled Blair into his arms. Agent Ortiz was in the kitchen consuming her umpteenth cup of coffee, and Agent Baffin was walking around the grounds. With Natalie and Jesse taking a nap upstairs, they had a few minutes alone.

"It's not the sex, either." Blair issued a soft moan as his partner leaned down and kissed him softly, lightly caressing his full lips with his tongue. "Okay, not just the sex."

"I know, Chief. I miss holding you at night. I miss you hogging the covers." Jim sat down on the sofa, and pulled Blair down on top of him, the smaller man straddling his lap.

"God! We sound like we've been separated for weeks instead of a couple of days. It's not like we haven't been separated before."

Jim nuzzled Blair's strong jaw, working his way down his raspy chin with tiny kisses. "Yeah, but this time we're right next to each other. That makes it worse."

The startled gasp alerted them to another presence in the room, and they quickly drew apart to see Natalie staring at them in shock.

"Oh my God. I'm so sorry, I didn't realize..." She turned and rushed out of the room.

"Shit!" Blair ran a hand through curls tangled by Jim's fingers and slid off his partner's lap reluctantly. "I'd better go ah..."

Jim nodded, his own frustration evident on his face.

Blair leaned down and gave Jim another quick kiss before he went to look for Natalie. He found her sitting outside on the deck. "Natalie?" He sat down next to her.

There was still a hint of shock in her eyes as she turned to look at him. "I'm sorry, Blair. I shouldn't have run out like a blushing virgin. I'm not homophobic, it's just, seeing the two of you like that was... startling."

"It's okay, Natalie."

She cast a thoughtful look at him. "Were you and Roy... you know. Is that why?"

"No." Blair smiled ruefully. "No, this is a rather new occurrence in my life."

"I don't want to cause any problems for you, Blair. Having an old girlfriend show up on your doorstep can't be easy for Jim. And Jesse..."

"It really is okay, Natalie. He's fine with this. Jim doesn't have anything to worry about, and he knows it. As far as Jesse is concerned, Jim and I are a package deal. Are you okay with that?"

Natalie nodded. "Yeah." She gave him a slightly wistful smile. "And Blair, Jim's a lucky guy."

"One time you wouldn't have that thought that." Blair wished with all his heart he could avoid this conversation, but it was long overdue. Apologies were owed, both for himself, and for Roy, who wasn't here to make them. They'd both regretted their behavior that summer, though they'd been too ashamed and embarrassed at the time to try and contact Natalie.

"One time, we were young and stupid. All of us, Blair."

"Still, I'm sorry about that summer, Natalie. Roy and I, we were both real sorry you found out. And even sorrier we started that stupid contest in the first place. If it helps, we really were both interested in you."

"It does. I think that was the worst part. Thinking that everything the two of you had said and done were all lies just to see who could hook up with me first." Natalie sighed, "In spite of everything, I'm not sorry I have Jesse. He's the best thing I've ever done. I wish I'd come to you sooner, to you and Roy."

"Why didn't you call us, when you found out?"

Natalie shook her head. "I told you, young, and stupid, and in my case, selfish. It was my baby. The two of you didn't deserve to know, or you wouldn't care. Neither of which is true. I know that, but then, it was easy to convince myself that Jesse and I were better off without either of you in our lives. Then I met someone, we got engaged, and he was going to be Jesse's father. He never knew about the two of you. He was killed in a car accident. After he died, it was just easier to pretend that Jason really had been Jesse's father. I thought I'd lucked out with Mark. I guess that's why I was willing to go along with what he was doing. I have some kind of bad karma with men, though. From my father on, they usually have a tendency to bail on me, or if I really love them, die. I guess it's holding true to form."

They sat quietly for a while, the air between them easier, lost in their own thoughts.

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Jim watched Blair go out after Natalie, hoping that there wasn't a real problem brewing there. He knew he could listen in, but he purposely kept his hearing turned down, giving them some privacy. Not that his hearing had been exactly on the ball a few minutes ago. He'd been so caught up in the feel of his partner in his arms he'd never even heard her approach.

He did hear the soft tread coming down the stairs this time, though, and he turned to watch Jesse approach him. He and the boy had formed the beginnings of a connection while they had been in Simon's office, and Jim found Jesse to be bright and mature for his age. He remembered being ten and having confusing things going on around you. Unlike him though, Jesse had Natalie to depend on, and now, the boy had Blair, and Jim as well.

"Hey, Jim." Jesse sat down on the sofa next to him, stretching short legs to the coffee table in an imitation of Jim's posture.

"Hey, Champ."

Jesse grinned at the nickname, developed after he'd easily cleared out Simon's top three scores. "Tell me some more about the Chopec?" The conversation had started after Jesse asked about some of the artifacts in the loft. He been fascinated to find out that Jim had actually lived with a tribe for eighteen months as one of them.

"Well, let's see..." Half Jim's mind was on the conversation, the other half thinking about Jesse and the responsibility that was now in their lives. A responsibility that made the questions he'd been asking himself lately, about his place, and Blair's at the PD, all the more important.

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"You're sure you know how to contact him?" The tall, whipcord-thin agent was pacing nervously now that everything was nearly set up.

Natalie had contacted K&D export only to be informed that Mr. Donovan was on a business trip to Cascade. Apparently, he'd decided to supervise Silvas personally.

Natalie nodded. "Oh yeah, it was a company joke. The most expensive room in the most expensive hotel. He always said anything else, and he might as well sleep in his car."

They got lucky at the second hotel they called. Donovan was indeed registered in the Presidential suite.

"Mr. Donovan?"

"Ah, Natalie. I was hoping you'd call. I hope Silvas didn't frighten you the other day. He was a little overly enthusiastic." The man's soft, polite, southern tones, didn't mask the menace in his voice.

"Actually, he scared the hell out of me. I almost didn't call."

There was a pause, and some noise in the background, then the silky tones returned. "Well, I'm glad you did. Silvas tells me you've obtained some protection? Something about a gentleman with a gun. I hope you didn't go to the police, Natalie."

"No, what would going to the police get me? That was an old boyfriend." Natalie fed him the story they'd come up with.

A soft chuckle. "Well, it didn't take you long. You're certainly resourceful. Now, I presume you have what I want, so, tell me what you want."

"I want to make the same deal Mark did, only I'd like to walk away from it." It was a shot in the dark that struck its target.

The chuckle that followed sent a shiver down Natalie's spine. "Ah yes, poor Mark. Another example of Silva's enthusiasm."

Natalie's eyes teared up at the confirmation of her fears, and she paused for a moment before continuing. "Well, I'd appreciate it if he wasn't present at our meeting, then. I'd hate for him to get carried away again."

"You know, I never realized how interesting you were when you worked for me, Natalie. That's a shame. Perhaps, then, you wouldn't have needed Mr. Richards' company."

Natalie didn't offer a comment, just told him when and where she'd meet him. The spot had been carefully chosen by the FBI, and Agent Dennis had spent the last couple of days making sure it was ready. Natalie wouldn't have to wear a wire, since the whole place was set up for surveillance.

She hung up the phone, and there was a small snick as the tape recorder disengaged. Agent Dennis was practically doing a happy dance.

"Yes!" He grabbed Natalie in an impromptu hug. "You were brilliant. We've got that son of a bitch!"

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Natalie entered the small, nondescript office, and went out through the back door, onto the loading docks. Since it was a Sunday, the company was closed. Natalie had told Donovan her ex-boyfriend worked there, and she would have him leave it open for the meeting.

She didn't have long to wait before a figure stepped out of the shadows.

"Did you bring it?"

"Silvas! I thought Mr. Donovan..." Natalie's shiver at the sight of the other man was genuine fear. Only the knowledge that she was literally surrounded by agents kept her calm.

"The boss was otherwise occupied."

"Well, you go back and tell him I'm not dealing if it's not with him."

"Oh you'll deal all right. I could just kill you right here, you know."

"Like you did Mark? You'd be in the same position you are now. You'd never get what you're looking for."

Jim frowned as he watched the exchange. It had been all he could do not to blow the whole thing by rushing out there when Silvas had shown up instead of Donovan. More proof of the deadly nature of the man's dealings. He obviously had no intention of letting Natalie leave alive after he'd gotten what he wanted.

Agent Dennis had held up a hand in the wait motion. "She's perfectly safe, Detective Ellison. Let's just see where this goes."

The agents had situated themselves around the area, and the monitor and recorders were set up in the next building over.

Jim could sense Natalie's nervousness, hear the rapid heartbeat, and the tiny crack in her voice as she spoke, but otherwise, there were few indications of nerves. Jim knew he was the only one who could see the tiny bead of sweat trickling down her neck.

A flash of surprise crossed Silvas' face.

"Yeah, Mr. Donovan told me how you screwed up and killed Mark." Bravado filled her voice as she tried to coax a confession from the man.

Silvas shook his head. "Donovan wanted him dead, no matter what he might have told you. I just shot a little too soon, that's all. Boss is a little pissed, but he'll get over it once I bring him back the book."

Natalie shook her head. "No. I told you, I only deal with him."

"Who do you think you are? Give me the book, bitch, or I'll not only do you, but everybody you know. You think you're so smart -- it took us what? An hour to trace you? How long do you think it'll take me to find that little brat of yours?" He reached behind him and pulled out a gun, complete with silencer, pointing it at the slowly backing woman.

That was more than enough, and before Silvas knew what was happening, he was surrounded by agents, their own guns drawn. Silvas may have been a little out there, but he wasn't completely crazy. He threw his gun down and raised his hands, already asking to see a lawyer and offering to deal.

Agent Dennis came up to where the three of them stood, grinning. "Good work, Ms. Barrett. It's not Donovan, but Silvas should give us enough to catch him."

Tears filled Natalie's eyes as she watched Silvas led away. Blair put an arm around her shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm just glad it's over."

Jim and Blair agreed. There was still a lot to discuss regarding the issue of Jesse, but that was for later. Right now, they just wanted to get away from the safe house and back to the loft.

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Jim noticed the cracked door as soon as they got out of the truck. He pulled his gun out, and Blair automatically shoved Natalie back into the vehicle.

Agent Baffin cautiously pulled up behind the truck and got out, gun in hand as well, only to pull up short at Jim's raised hand. The agent quickly moved to the truck. "What's going on, Mr. Sandburg?"

Blair shook his head. "I don't know yet. Stay here with Natalie." The agent nodded as Blair headed after Jim.

Jim focused his hearing, only dropping his guard when he heard no heartbeats from the house or the surrounding area. When he put his gun away and started toward the house, Blair began to follow him in.

"Wait. Chief."

"What's up, man?"

Jim turned back to Blair, not even trying to mask the worry in his eyes. "I don't hear any heartbeats, Chief."

Blair blanched. "Jesse!" Only Jim's hand on his arm stopped him from rushing headlong into the house.

"Blair. Let me go first. You stay out here with Natalie." He didn't say what he was afraid he'd find, but it was in his eyes as he looked at his partner.

Jim walked through the door tentatively, not really wanting to face what was on the other side. He found a note on the kitchen table, addressed to Natalie.

A quick search of the house turned up nothing, No sign of struggle, and no sign of Jesse or the agent that had been left to guard him.

His face was grim as he went back to the door and motioned the other three in.

Natalie's hands were shaking as she opened the folded paper.

I thought it'd be wise to take out a little insurance, just to make sure things go according to plan. You'll get your son when I have my book. Stay put. I'll call you at 3:00 p.m. Tsch... Natalie. The FBI? I am disappointed.

"No! Oh God!" Natalie collapsed against the sofa with a low wail that Blair echoed silently. At this point, it didn't matter if Jesse was his son or not. He'd grown to care for the kid in the short time he'd known him, and the idea of him alone, and scared, going through what he himself had been through so often, tore him up.

A comforting hand was placed on his shoulder. "Jim..."

"I know, Chief. You take care of Natalie while I call Dennis."

Agent Baffin stood a silent vigil at the door, gun drawn and face pale.

Surprise and consternation filled Dennis' voice when he heard the news. "Damn it! I'm sorry. I thought one agent would be enough to guard the kid since he wasn't a target. She volunteered for the duty, and I thought she was looking to make brownie points. Shit!" He advised them he'd have additional agents there in fifteen minutes, and also made a point to tell Jim not to do anything rash. He himself would be along after some preliminary questioning of Silvas, and he promised to try and find out where Donovan might have taken the boy.

Jim was torn. He wanted to be present when Dennis questioned Silvas, but he didn't trust Blair and Natalie's welfare to Baffin or the agents on the way. Agent Ortiz was most likely either dead or had decided to pad her retirement fund. Either way, it didn't instill any confidence in the remaining group Dennis had working for him. Although to be fair, some of the agents were ones he'd commandeered from Seattle to fill out the small group he'd sent for from Atlanta, but Agents Baffin and Ortiz had been part of the original group that had come down with him.

He hung up the phone, and Blair's eyes were filled with despair as he looked up from the couch where Natalie huddled against him. Jim's own heart clenched as he thought of Jesse out there, afraid and alone. The sense of protectiveness he felt was different from his normal, protect the tribe urge. It was more primitive. Close to what he felt when Blair was in danger, but with an overwhelming sense of helplessness, and he wondered if this was what it was like to be a parent. If this was what his father had felt when he'd tried to cover up Jim's senses.

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"I don't know what book he's talking about."

"You're sure Mark didn't give you anything?" Agent Dennis was pacing back and forth.

Natalie shook her head. "I told you, he talked about having some insurance, but I never knew what, or where it was."

"Damn it. When he calls you need to stall him for as long as you can. Silvas won't say a word until his deal is made, and we're waiting on someone for the Atlanta D.A.'s office to get back with us."

The room was full of anxious people when the phone rang at 3 p.m. Jim wore the head-set so he could hear the conversation directly, without any tape distortion, hoping to get lucky and pick up something that might help. He didn't know what story Sandburg had come up with for Dennis, but the agent had reluctantly relinquished his place to the detective.

Natalie was doing her best to stall, claiming that her access to the book was limited and that she couldn't get to it right away. Donovan chided her for her part in Silvas' arrest, and said he knew the Feds were listening in, and if she wanted her son back then she'd better get access to the book.

Jim listened intently, trying to separate Donovan's voice from the background noise. The low, musical hum seemed to grow in intensity, and it took him a moment to realize what it was. A train whistle.

To be certain, he played the tape back after Dennis left the room to call and check on Silvas. Yep, it was definitely a train whistle. That placed them somewhere near the tracks, but where?

Dennis came back into the room, practically shimmering with excitement.

"Well?"

He nodded. "Silvas is singing like a bird. According to him, Donovan's connection here has a place out near some place called Railtown? He knows what street, but not an exact address."

Blair nodded. "Yeah, Railtown is the nickname of an area that was built up around the old tracks in South Cascade. We're about fifteen minutes away from there. Why would Donovan go there, though? He had to know Silvas knew about it."

Dennis shrugged. "Who knows, maybe he was counting on loyalty to keep Silvas quiet, or fear, or money. It's the only thing we've got right now, and Ellison, you did say thought you heard a train whistle in the background."

Jim pulled Blair to the side. "Chief, I want you to stay here with Natalie. We can't take a chance of leaving her with one of Dennis' agents."

Blair shook his head. "No way, man. Megan and Joel are already on the way over. I'm going with you."

"Chief..."

Blair held up a hand. "Save it, Jim. Jesse needs the best chance he can get, and that's us... together."

Jim looked into his lover's eyes, remembering the nervous kid, the anxious tagalong, and seeing now the confident man, the partner. "Together. Always, Chief."

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They pulled the car off to the side of the road, staring at the group of seemingly abandoned shacks. The area had slowly gone to pot as other forms of transport replaced the train in popularity, and now it was populated mostly by vagrants and crack houses.

"It a far cry from the most expensive room, in the most expensive hotel."

Jim nodded. "Maybe that's the point. If you were looking for a noted high roller, would you look here?"

"Good point. You hear anything?" Blair was making an effort to distance himself from the situation, to drop back into professional mode, and try not to think about the fact that it was Jesse in danger.

Jim dialed up his hearing and sight straining for some sign of Jesse or Donovan. "Shit! I'm not getting anything."

"Calm down, Jim, take a deep breath." Jim followed his guide's instructions, knowing Blair had sensed the fact that his emotions were overriding his focus. "Okay, partner, try it again." Blair settled a hand on his back, grounding his efforts. At first there was nothing, then gradually sounds started to infiltrate. There was a rustling sound that he couldn't make out, then muffled voices -- one high-pitched like a child's, then two others, deeper. They were coming from a ramshackle building that, from the faded and weather-beaten sign that hung drunkenly in front, used to be some sort of neighborhood store.

"I think they're in there. Donovan, Jesse, and at least one other person."

Blair nodded, and called Agent Dennis. They had convinced the agent to let them check it out alone, using the argument that too many cars in the area all of a sudden would only draw attention to them. They promised to notify him if Silvas' information panned out, and to wait for him before they made a move.

It was only a few minutes before two other cars pulled up behind Jim's truck. Agent Dennis got out of the first one, and came forward, leaning in the window. "Are you sure they're there?"

"At least two of them and Jesse."

"My men are ready when I give the word."

"We don't want to put Jesse in any more danger than he already is, by having your guys go off all gung-ho." Blair's voice was sharp.

"Look, Mr. Sandburg, I know you think my only concern is catching Donovan, but I don't want anything to happen to the kid either. We do know what we're doing, despite what happened at the safe house, and these guys are hand picked. I trust all of them completely."

Blair would much rather have had Jesse's well being in the hands of Major Crimes, but there wasn't a choice -- they were going to have to trust the agent.

In the end, it happened fast. Dennis was right about his men. They placed themselves quietly and unobtrusively in points around the building. Closer now, Jim could detect various heartbeats, two steady, and one rapid. His own heart clenched at the tangible evidence of Jesse's fear. "Just hang on, kid. We're getting you out of there."

It was a low mumble, but Blair heard and squeezed his shoulder with a small smile. His own fears subsiding somewhat. Unlike his feelings about Agent Dennis, he had all the confidence in the world in the man standing next to him.

The plan was to go in the boarded up windows and both doors at the same time, hopefully catching Donovan and his accomplice off guard enough so Jesse would be the last thing on their minds.

Just as planned, Donovan and the other man were rather too preoccupied with the sudden plethora of agents descending upon them to worry about their hostage.

Jesse was sitting in the corner, knees tucked under his chin, eyes wide with fright, when Blair and Jim followed the agents in. Agent Dennis had refused to let them go in along with his men, and despite rigorous protests, there wasn't much they could do about the situation.

At the sight of familiar faces, Jesse uttered a glad cry and launched himself at Blair, who was only too happy to catch him. He held Jesse tightly for a moment, savoring the solid weight in his arms, before pulling away. "You okay?"

He noticed Jim conducting his own visual inspection as Jesse nodded.

"Where's Mama?"

Blair kept a hand in Jesse's as they talked, unwilling to stop touching the kid completely. "She's gonna meet us back at the loft. She can't wait to see you, buddy."

"Can we go home now?" Jesse's voice was tentative as he clutched Blair's hand tighter. Blair felt the squeeze all the way to his heart. He looked questioningly at Jim, who nodded.

He cleared his throat, "Let me go tell Dennis he can talk to Jesse later."

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"Good morning, Detective Ellison, Mr. Sandburg." The agent came out of Simon's office, and stood by Jim's desk.

"You must be a pretty happy man."

Dennis nodded. "Oh, I am, Mr. Sandburg. Donovan is still tight-lipped, but it turns out that the guy with him is a former employee. He moved up here about a year ago, but still kept ties with his old boss, and believe me, he is eager to tell everything he knows."

Jim cocked an eyebrow. He guessed money didn't buy as much loyalty as it used to. Of course, there was a recession. "Seems like Donovan's unlucky with his choice of employees."

A grin crossed his thin face. "Yeah, but it's very lucky for us."

"So you won't need Jesse and Natalie to testify?"

"No, with Silvas and this Robinson fellow, we should have more than enough to get a conviction." His eyes hardened for a moment. "We're still looking for Ortiz, but we will find her." Dennis stuck out his hand, shaking first Jim's, then Blair's. "Well, gentlemen, I know this hasn't been exactly a pleasure for you, but I do want to thank you both, and Ms. Barrett as well."

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"What about Jamie? If Jesse is his nephew, they deserve the chance to be in each other's lives." Blair found it ironic that this discussion was taking place in the same restaurant where he had reconnected with Natalie, but here, they could talk while Jesse was engrossed in video games.

"Yeah, but if he's not, Chief, getting his hopes up is cruel."

Natalie nodded. "Okay, so we wait until we know for sure, which is when?"

Blair swallowed. "It takes about ten days to get the test results back." He'd gone into research mode when he gathered the information, trying to disassociate himself from what it actually meant.

"So what do I tell my son? How do I tell him, I don't even know who his father is. I kept waiting for the day he would ask, you know, but he never has, and now, I don't know what to say to him."

"Tell him the truth, Natalie. He's old enough to understand. Maybe not everything, but enough, and if you don't and he finds out later, it'll be much worse." Again Jim was identifying with Jesse, remembering the pain of learning that his father knew about his senses. The pain of finding out the true story of his mother's abandonment.

Natalie sighed and closed her eyes. "So, how do we set up things?"

"They take a swab, no blood or anything, and then send you the results. We don't even have to be together to find out."

Jim watched Blair's face as his partner explained the procedure. "You don't want to do it, do you, Chief?"

Blair trailed off, looking at Jim with a rueful smile. Sometimes his lover knew him better than he knew himself. "I don't know. It's like slamming a door, you know. I know I've always said it didn't bother me, not knowing who my father was, but the truth is, there was always a tiny part of me that fantasized about him showing up with some great excuse for not being around." He shrugged. "I guess a part of me still does."

Natalie looked at them both in confusion. "You don't want to have the tests done?"

Blair looked over at Jim, who nodded. "Whatever you decide, Chief, I'm behind you. In every way."

Jim got the look again. The one so full of love and admiration and awe, he swore there was a big 'S' on his chest.

"I want Jesse to be a part of our family. You and Jesse both, Natalie. If Roy was here, it would be different, but he's not. Having the test won't change how I feel, so..."

Natalie leaned back in the booth with a slightly stunned look on her face. "What you're offering, Blair..."

Blair reached across the table and took her hand. "For a long time there was just Naomi and me really. Then there was Jim, and slowly, so many more, some through blood, some through bonds just as unbreakable as blood, and each time, my life, our lives, have been enriched immeasurably."

Natalie nodded her head, tears in her eyes. "Okay."

"So, we call Jamie, and then we talk to Jesse."

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Jim and Natalie went to pick up their take out order, leaving Blair alone with Jesse. The solemn look was back in the brown eyes as he stared at Blair.

"You're gonna be my dad?"

Blair took a deep breath. "Best I can, if you let me."

Jesse looked down, fingers fiddling with the seam on his jeans. "What about Roy?"

"Roy was my friend, and he was a good guy. And he would have been really glad to know about you. I'm sort of doing double duty, for both of us."

Jesse nodded, his expression thoughtful. Blair knew the boy would have to think about the situation. It wasn't exactly conventional, but then again, Blair's life had never been conventional, so why start now?

"You and Jim love each other, right?"

The change in topic startled Blair. "Yeah."

"Like boy-girl stuff? I mean, you're a couple, right?"

"Yeah." Blair answered cautiously, really hoping his first official dad duty wasn't going to be a talk about the birds and the bees, and all the other combinations floating around.

Jesse nodded again. "He's really cool."

Blair shared a grin with the boy. Recognizing another member of the Jim Ellison fan club in the making. "Yeah." He knew other things would come up, nothing was ever that easy, but for now, things were cool, and in their life, he'd learned to appreciate such moments.

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Jim came out of the spare room with Natalie's suitcase in one hand and a chattering young boy attached to the other. Jim set the suitcase down, and Blair leaned over, giving Jesse a tight hug while Jim did the same to Natalie.

"I can never thank you enough, you or Blair, for what you did for us." Natalie's brown eyes were glistened with tears as she turned and hugged Blair good-bye as well.

"Call as soon as you get to San Francisco, okay?"

"I will."

Jim shook his head. "I still wish you'd let us drive down with you."

Natalie shook her head. "We'll be fine. I start work at the agency Monday, surrounded by F.B.I. people." Dennis had arranged for Natalie to have a permanent job at one of the branch offices in San Francisco, another expression of gratitude for her help. "Besides, Agent Dennis said that since Silvas and Robertson are testifying, I shouldn't be of any concern to any of Donovan's associates." She gave them a wistful smile. "Anyway, it's time we get used to it being just the two of us again."

Blair put a hand on her shoulder. "Whatever happens, Nattie, it won't be just the two of you anymore. You've got family in Cascade now. We'll see you soon."

His statement engendered tears and another tight hug, before she got in the car and strapped in.

Blair and Jim stood silently, arms around each other, as they watched the small green Honda until it faded from even Jim's sight.

By some unspoken agreement, the subject didn't come up again until they lay in bed that night.

Blair leaned back against the rails of the bed. "I have a lot of time to make up for with Jesse."

"It's not your fault, Chief; it's not like you knew and ignored him all these years."

Blair nodded. "I know, it's just... I guess it's really starting to hit me now, what we signed on for. Or rather, what I signed us both on for. I mean, our lives aren't child friendly. We attract danger like a magnet, plus we do have a few secrets to keep."

"I told you, I'm one hundred percent behind you on this." Jim reached up and pulled Blair from his sitting position, settling him in his arms. "It gives a whole new spin to the choices our parents made though."

Blair nodded as he snuggled in. "Oh, yeah, man. Your dad, and my mom going it pretty much alone. Grace and my dad missing out. I don't know if I'm ready to be this grown up, Jim."

Jim knuckled tangled curls. "Don't worry about it, you'll never be that grown up."

"Thanks."

Jim ignored the sarcasm, his voice turning serious. "A lot of the stuff, the secrets, the danger, they wouldn't be as much of an issue if it wasn't for the cop thing."

Blair froze for a moment before sitting up to look his partner in the eye incredulously. "The cop thing?"

"Yeah. I mean, I've just been thinking, you know, considering other options maybe."

"Because of Jesse?"

"No, not just him, a lot of things. Bullets before breakfast. The fact that we spend so much of our time lying and trying to come up with explanations for every sound, and smell, and sight I experience that I'm not supposed to."

Blair shifted in his arms, turning wide eyes on him. "Jim..."

"You can't be in outer Timbuktu if you're tied to a desk in Cascade, Blair."

"You're making me nervous here, man."

Jim leaned down and place a soft kiss on his lover's forehead. "I don't mean to, Chief. It's just something that's been kind of floating around in the back of my mind. Even before everything with Jesse and Natalie came up."

"And you're just now telling me this?"

Jim shrugged. "Look, Chief, it's not like I've decided anything, or even like I've been seriously contemplating it, just... it's there, that's all."

Blair stifled the remark begging to burst out of his mouth and took a deep breath before settling back down against his partner. It was definitely there all right, and he had a feeling it was going to be following him around like a damn pink elephant from now on. He sighed as Jim's arms wrapped tighter around him; his last thought, before he drifted off to sleep, was how he could have given his body, heart and soul to somebody who could be so completely clueless sometimes.

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