"What the hell?"

Naomi stiffened, suddenly aware of his presence, as Blair scrambled to his feet and ran to his friend.

"Jim! God, Jim..."

"Has she ever done that before?" Jim demanded.

"No... and I don't know why she's doing it now. I mean, I woke and she was there, in bed with me, and... and..."

Jim pushed his guide protectively behind him and glared at the woman who was still sitting on the floor; then he pulled off his jacket and threw it at her.

"At least make yourself decent..."

She ignored the jacket as completely as she ignored her nudity; it flashed through Jim's mind that she was using her body as a disarming tactic, but he decided there was no point in making an issue of it.

There was already enough of an issue to be tackled.

"Naomi. What the hell do you think you were trying to do?"

"I love him! I need to know that he still loves me! He's mine... mine..."

"Yours. You need. How do you know if he's needed you over the last few years? He has. Where were you when he needed you?"

"I..." Her voice trailed off. In truth, she had no answer. Her life had always been about her needs, nobody else's.

"Was that how you always saw him?" Jim went on, ice in his voice. "Tell me -- was Blair an accident, or did you plan to get pregnant so you'd have a doll to play with? A possession, a plaything to be put away, left to get on with his life the best he could, when you were tired of playing mother? And now... you haven't seen much of him since he became a man; now you've decided he belongs to you that way as well?

"He's never said anything against you, Naomi. He's always been completely loyal to you. He's always been willing to accept you at your own valuation. I was never really sure of you, though. I could read between the lines, interpret what he carefully didn't ever say.

"Sex has always been a tool for you, hasn't it? Something to lure men to you. Keep them buzzing round the honey pot, keep them from walking away.

"And when you thought Blair might walk away, you had to try it with him, too?"

"No! No... I need him to let me know he still loves me..."

"But -- even if we forget that he's your son -- sex isn't love, Naomi," Jim said, almost gently.

"Mom," Blair said, deliberately emphasizing their relationship, "I've always loved you, and I've forgiven you a lot over the years -- yes, including what you did last week.

"But what you did tonight -- I can't forgive that."

"But you responded, sweetie --"

"Mom. I was asleep.

"What a man does in his sleep isn't necessarily what he would want to do when he's awake. I don't see you that way, I'll never see you that way... but because you did, you've ruined the relationship we did have. The relationship we should have.

"I'm sorry -- but I never want to see you again." Blair turned away.

"Blair!" It was an anguished cry.

Blair ignored it. Jim watched him for a moment, knowing the anguish in his friend's heart, then returned his attention to Naomi.

"I think you'd better leave," he said, still gently.

"But... it's the middle of the night. Where can I go?"

Jim's jaw dropped; just how self-centered was it possible for this woman to be? Before he could respond, however, Blair said, with a terrible finality, "That never stopped you before when you wanted to leave."

He walked out of his bedroom, making it clear that as far as he was concerned, the incident was finished.

"Five minutes," Jim said quietly. "If you're not out of here in five minutes, I'll carry you out even if you're still naked -- and you're not welcome in this house ever again. Spend the rest of your life wandering from retreat to retreat. Do whatever you want. But unless Blair invites you back into it, just stay out of his life."

He turned and walked out of the bedroom. He went into the kitchen and began to go through the motions of making a pot of coffee.

There was no sign of Blair, but he could hear the younger man's heartbeat from the upstairs room.

There was silence for some moments, then he heard the softest rustle as she pulled her dress on again, followed by the quiet pad of her feet crossing the room.

At the door she paused. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry," she said. "You could be right, that sex isn't love, but it's the only kind of love I've ever known, ever really understood."

When neither man responded, she picked up her bag and walked out.

As the door closed, Jim whirled and raced up the stairs. His friend was sitting on the bed, body drooping hopelessly. Jim sat beside him and put a gentle arm around his shoulders.

Blair leaned against him. "How could she do that, man?"

"I don't know," Jim replied.

There was a moment of silence, then Blair said, "Would you mind if I stayed up here for the rest of the night? I... I think if I go back to my own bed before I have time to process it all, I'll freak out."

"No, I don't mind," Jim said.

As Jim got ready for bed, Blair slipped under the comforter. He was lying very stiffly, however, when Jim climbed in beside him.

"I thought she loved me," Blair murmured. "But she was like all the rest. My own mother, and she just wanted my body."

Jim slipped his arms round his friend and pulled him close. "I love you," he said. "And I won't deny that I want you. But sex isn't love, though it can enhance love. This is as much as I'll ever do unless you tell me you want me, too."

Blair sighed. He snuggled his head against Jim's shoulder and the sentinel tightened his embrace ever so slightly. Comforted, Blair slept.

Jim remained awake till dawn, however, guarding his guide's peace of mind.