Ben and Jenny Rebecca bond.
Ben leaned over the cradle and stared at the beautiful baby sleeping soundly. He knew he shouldn't, but he gently lifted her up and walked slowly to the rocking chair in the middle of the room. He sat down, and gently put the baby on his shoulder. He moved his face to the side and breathed in the sent of her hair. She smelled of baby soap and powder. It was one of the most wonderful smells in the world. Ben gently took hold of Jenny Rebecca's hand and marveled at the size of her fingers. He stared in wonder at her fingernails.
"How tiny and amazing are these?" he said out loud to himself.
"You are a marvel, JR."
Ben placed a soft kiss on her hair and slowly rocked the chair as the baby began to fuss.
"Shhhh. It's OK sweetheart, I have you. You're safe with me". He rubbed her back in a small circular motion and she sighed and quickly went back to sleep.
It was times like this that Ben felt a sadness that he would never experience having a child of his own. He loved JR, and he loved her because she was a part of Michael. He felt blessed to be part of her life. It had been decided that she would call him 'Daddy Ben' when she was old enough to talk. When Melanie and Michael told him that, he couldn't help the tears that filled his eyes. He had always thought he would be 'Uncle' to any and all children Michael would have, but as Melanie pointed out, he was Michael's husband and that made him Jenny Rebecca's stepfather. So he would be called daddy and that was that!
As he rocked the baby in his arms he whispered to her. "I'm going to be the best Daddy Ben in the whole world. You will always be able to come to me and tell me things. I'm going to make sure that you have the happiest life possible. And I will always be there for you, in good times and in bad. I want you to know that you can tell me all your secrets honey. I will never break your confidence."
Ben placed another gentle kiss, this time on her baby-fat cheek. He couldn't believe how much bigger she had grown in just a few short weeks. He was so happy that Melanie let her spend the night, even though she was breastfeeding. Michael was really nervous when Melanie suggested that he and Ben take the baby overnight.
"How are we going to feed her? We can't nurse a baby!" Michael had yelled.
Mel and Lindsay just laughed.
"We brought a breast pump so I can feed her Michael. We knew that you, Ben, her grandmother and her brother would want to feed her too."
He smiled and whispered in JR's ear. "You should have seen your brother when you were finally born. He was so excited that he couldn't hide it. You're too small to remember, but he held you for the longest time. It was almost as if he wanted to hold you forever. Hunter will be a very overprotective brother, but don't worry sweetheart, I will be there to help you when he gets to be too much. I'm sure that won't happen until you start to date."
Ben chuckled and thought about how Michael would react to his 'honey bun' dating anyone. And now that he thought about it, he didn't think he would be too calm either. He held the baby tighter and she stirred in his arms.
"Whoever you decide to date, they had better be really, really good to you! I wouldn't want to get on the bad side of not only your father and me, but your brothers Gus and Hunter and God forbid, your grandmother! She can be pretty tough. You'll find all this out as you get older."
Ben's thoughts turned to Debbie. He remembered how protective she was of Michael when she found out he was dating him and that he was HIV positive. It was a rough battle, but Debbie finally came around and now as she put it, he was her 'favorite son-in-law.' He laughed at that since he was her only son-in-law. He really did love her, and she loved him too.
He felt her love every time they saw each other. He really knew things would be OK when she visited him in the hospital and fed him homemade chicken soup, after he had a reaction to his HIV meds. She really was something. Ben's own Mom had been so grateful that she was there to act in her stead. He remembered watching Debbie out of the corner of his eye as his mother leaned over the bed and hugged him. She had a look on her face that Ben had only ever seen when she was around Michael. He had decided that it was her look of love. After that, Ben could do no wrong in her eyes. And that suited him just fine!
Ben stood up and walked into the kitchen. He lit the fire under the small pot of water on the stove so he could heat up the bottle that was in the refrigerator.
"Don't worry sweetie. Both your mommies taught us how to heat your bottle. It will be almost as good as when mommy feeds you, I promise."
After a few minutes, Ben took the bottle out of the pot and shook it. He squirted a bit of the milk on his wrist just the way Melanie taught him to do.
"You don't want the milk too hot." She said in a teacher-like way. "It has to be warm. You can't give an infant a cold bottle or it will upset their stomach."
Ben walked back to the baby's room and sat in the rocking chair. As if on cue, JR woke up and started to cry. She was hungry.
"Here you go my baby." Ben softly said as he placed the nipple in her mouth. JR sucked right away. And Ben was truly relieved.
One of the things Lindsay had told him was that sometimes breast fed babies don't take well to a bottle. She and Melanie had started feeding JR both ways that first week she was home. That way, Linds could feed her without a problem
"It's all in the way you get them used to things" she had said.
"It's also another way to bond with a baby." Michael had told Ben.
Michael had turned red as Mel had praised him for knowing that.
"I read it in one of the baby books Ben bought me, as soon as we found out you were pregnant."
"Well, I'm really happy to know that you actually read it baby." Ben had said proudly.
"The lady in the bookstore told me that most fathers didn't read baby books. I'll have to tell her how wrong she was."
They all laughed and Michael turned even redder.
Ben took the bottle out of JR's mouth and placed her over his shoulder. He gently patted her back and she let out a pretty loud burp. Ben couldn't help but laugh. He placed the baby back in his arm so he could finish feeding and that's when it happened. She actually smiled at him. Ben was thrilled.
"You smiled at me!"
JR smiled again and it was almost like she was confirming to Ben that it was in fact a smile and not gas, as Brian had said to Michael when he told him that JR had smiled at him for the first time.
"My little cookie face." Ben said as he picked her up so he could give her another gentle squeeze.
"Cookie face?"
Michael had been standing in the doorway, watching as Ben and JR bonded.
Laughing, Ben said, "Yes, Cookie Face. She smiled at me, Michael. And it was a real smile too!"
"I'm very happy for you and I love your little nickname for her." Michael said as he walked all the way into the room.
"You are really good with her Ben."
"I'm going to be the best Daddy Ben in the world."
"I know you will be. She couldn't have a better daddy than you."
"Thank you Michael. That means a lot to me."
Ben's eyes started to fill up.
"Do you want to take over?"
"No. I think you're doing just fine. I'm going back to bed. I'll get the next feeding."
And as Michael looked back, he saw Jenny Rebecca smile at her Daddy Ben and his heart filled with love for both of them.