The Long and Winding Road

Babs

Ben squinted as he looked from the paper to the addresses on the storefront windows.

"I can't read the numbers on this side, Ben" Michael was getting agitated and he was fidgeting so much that Ben took hold of his hand to calm him.

"I'm sure we'll find it very soon, Michael. If we miss it, I can always turn the car around."

Ben was hoping he wasn't lost and just when he was about to give up, he saw the sign for The Daily Bookstore. Ben was very excited and relieved at the same time. He knew Michael was just about ready to jump out of his skin. "There it is Michael."

"Oh and look Ben, there's a parking spot almost right in front!" Michael held the jewelry box with all the items they had taken from the cabin.

"I wonder if Mr. Murray is still the owner of the store. What should we do if he isn't?"

"Don't worry baby. We will cross that bridge when and if we come to it."

*Previously, Ben and Michael had stumbled upon a cabin in the woods. It was obvious that nobody had inhabited it for many, many years. Inside they found some photo albums and a jewelry box that contained some letters and two inscribed wedding bands. It was also obvious from the photos and the inscriptions inside the rings, that they had belonged to a gay couple, Ben and Jacob. Upon further investigation, they came across an obituary for Mr. Ben Connor. The obituary listed Jacob Murray as Ben's long time business partner. The obituary also stated that Ben had married a woman named Catherine and they had two children. Thomas, who was the oldest and Christopher. Michael wanted to see if they could return the items to Mr. Murray. He was sure he would want them. At first, they left the jewelry box in the dresser at the cabin and just took the photo albums. After a week, Michael wanted to get the rings and try to find the rightful owner. When they found the old obituary for Ben Connor, Ben looked up the address for the Daily Bookstore and here they were.

"Do you think Mr. Murray is still alive, Ben?"

"I hope so. If he's not, we'll keep everything. Don' worry. They won't be forgotten baby."

As they opened the door to the store, a little bell sounded. "Wow! This place is amazing! Ben almost gasped as he looked around in awe. I love the smell of old books!"

Michael pinched his nose closed. "It's a bit musty but I'll get used to it in a minute."

Ben picked up an old copy of Weathering Heights. "I bet this is a first edition!"

"You have a good eye young man." Ben looked up to see an elderly gentleman with a very kind face and deep blue eyes standing in front of him.

"Hello. My name is Jacob Murray". Jacob extended his hand first to Ben and then to, Michael.

"It's nice to meet you sir." Michael stammered. He was very nervous. He wasn't sure how Mr. Murray would feel knowing that he and Ben had gone through his and Mr. Connor's personal belongings.

Ben studied Jacob for a minute. He was about 75 or so and he walked with a slight limp. He recognized his features from the old photos, but there was also sadness in Jacob's eyes. "It's nice to meet you Mr. Murray" Ben said. "I'm sorry to be so forward, but is there someplace we can go to speak to you in private?"

Jacob looked at Ben and then at Michael. "Sure. We can go into my office. It's in the back and its private enough. Let me tell Mary to keep an eye on things."

As they followed Jacob to the back, Michael was starting to sweat."I really hope he doesn't get mad that we snooped in his old house" he whispered to Ben.

Gesturing to the two chairs in the front of an antique desk, Jacob asked them to take a seat. It was then that he noticed the jewelry box Michael was holding and he recognized it at once. "Where did you get that?"

Michael immediately handed the jewelry box to Jacob. Ben noticed how lovingly Jacob held and stroked the top of the box. He looked up and softly asked again, "Where did you find this?"

Ben explained how he and Michael came across the cabin and how they took the photo albums and then went back for the jewelry box. "We just couldn't leave them in the cabin. It's falling apart and we were afraid they would be lost forever."

"And we wanted to find you so we could return them". Michael said. Ben took his hand and stroked it to calm him.

Jacob looked at the two men sitting across from him. It was obvious that they were a couple and very much in love. He cleared his throat. "First I would like to thank you for bringing this to me. I have wanted to go back to the cabin for a very long time now, but I just couldn't bring myself to go back there without Ben. It was just too painful. And I don't think I could have made the trip with this bum leg of mine." He absently rubbed his knee and continued. "We were so in love, but back in the day it was impossible to be together. It wasn't like it is today. I didn't want to hide our relationship, but Ben's family would never be able to accept a 'homosexual' son. He was very close to his family and didn't want to lose them, so he hid his sexual orientation from everyone." I didn't have much of a family left so it didn't really matter to me. Jacob opened the box and took out the wedding rings. He put one on and held the other one to his chest. There were tears in eyes as he continued. "Ben's father was a big tough guy. He was always pushing Ben to play football and all the other . . . as he would call them, 'manly' sports. Ben did as he was told, but he never really liked sports. He would much rather sit in a big comfortable chair and read a book, or go to the opera. Ben loved the opera. That's actually where we met. He was there with his soon to be wife, Catherine and I was there alone. We got to talking at the bar during intermission and found out that we had a lot in common. We both played golf and Ben's old golf partner was transferred to another state. He suggested that I join him for a game. After that first game, we decided to meet once a week to play. One thing led to another and we became lovers." Jacob pulled out one of the old photos from the box and was almost immediately lost in thought. Not wanting to be rude, Ben and Michael waited patiently for him to continue.

"I didn't want Ben to marry Catherine and we fought about it a lot. I almost left him over it. It took a lot of convincing on his part, but I finally understood why he had to marry her. It was all about his father at the time. Ben didn't want to disappoint him. He was always trying to win his Dad's approval. Seriously though, I don't think he ever did. He was a hard egg that one." Jacob sighed. "I can say that marriage to Catherine made being together a little easier. Nobody ever suspected that we were lovers since Ben had a wife. And I never got the sense that she knew about us either. Anyway, since Ben and I both had a love of books, we decided to go into business together and open this bookstore. It was hard going for a bit, but eventually we made a success of it. Ben and Catherine had two children, Tommy and Chris. Tommy is gay and living with his partner in New York. Chris is married and they have three children. Ben loved being a grandfather. Oh, where are my manners? Can I offer you both a cup of coffee?"

"That sounds great," Ben said.

"Water is good for me" Michael replied.

"Be right back." Jacob got up to get the refreshments.

"Wow! I can't believe that Catherine never knew about the two of them," Michael whispered.

"I guess they were really good at hiding their feelings for each other when she was around. I don't think we could hide it as well" Ben said as he caressed Michael's hand.

"My mother would know right away. It's like she has this built in gaydar or something." They both laughed. Ben noticed Jacob trying to get around a stack of books and he got up to help him with the tray.

"Thank you. It is harder and harder to maneuver around here without Ben to keep everything organized; it's not something I'm very good at." He laughed as he handed Michael his water. "I hope I'm not boring you with my life story?"

"No, it's not in the least boring. We would love to hear more if you want to share it with us." Ben said.

Jacob sat down and poured milk in his coffee. "Let's see . . . Well after the birth of their second son, Ben wanted to do something special for me. I think he felt guilty that he had children and I didn't. I am godfather to Christopher. It was Catherine's idea. She said it made me an official member of the family. And both boys call me Uncle Jacob so that was Ben's way of letting me know that I was important to both he and Catherine."

"If you don't mind, may I ask you a question?"

"Ask away, Michael. I have nothing to hide.

"How were you able to go to the cabin without Catherine finding out about it?"

"Ahhhh" Jacob said as he sat back in his chair. "Well, at the time Ben would tell her we had to go away to purchase books for the store. Or, he would tell her that we were going on a golfing weekend. She was not the kind of woman to question her husband, or to get angry at him for being away. If she suspected anything, she never let on. She would actually be happy to see us when we returned. There was always a huge dinner waiting for us and a good homemade peach pie for dessert. Catherine knew I loved her peach pie. She always had one freshly baked for us and would even bake one for me to take home."

"She sounds like a very special lady." Michael said.

"Oh she is."

"How were you able to buy the boat without her knowing about it?" Ben asked.

"Well, the store was doing very well and since I lived modestly, I was able to save up enough money to buy it myself. I gave it to Ben on our 10th anniversary. We would take along some old books and a bottle of wine and just spend our day floating out in the ocean reading and making love. I kept the boat docked in Florida, so Catherine never saw it. I sold it soon after Ben died. I just couldn't bear to be on it without him."

"I'm sorry if this conversation is upsetting you." Ben said "We never meant to make you sad."

"Actually, it's really nice to be able to talk about Ben with another couple. You see, Ben was always so fearful that people would find out that he was gay that we didn't have any friends. We kept to ourselves and that was fine with me."

"How long were you two together?" Michael asked.

Jacob held up one of the rings. "It would have been 37 years. On our 1st anniversary Ben surprised me with this ring. He had my ring engraved "J, until my forever ends...' I took his when we were home and had ' B, My love, my life, my friend' engraved in his. There was no such thing as gay marriage in any state at that time. One night on the boat, under a full moon we said our vows. The sky was filled with stars and it was the most magical night of my life. I've never looked at another man since. He was and still is my everything." The tears spilled over and he quickly reached for the handkerchief in his pocket. Jacob dabbed his eyes."I'm sorry. It's just that it was very hard to lose him. I guess I still have a hard time talking about him."

"It sounds as if you had a very happy life. From the photos we found, you two were also able to travel to a lot of cool places. Ben and I are going to travel someday too." Michael squeezed Ben's hand.

Ben quickly handed Jacob the photo albums he had in his backpack. "Thank you so much for rescuing these from the cabin. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that you both also took the time to find me to return them".

"It was our pleasure" Ben said.

"Well we better get going Ben. My mother will kill us if we're late for dinner again! You know how she can be."

"Do I ever!" Ben chuckled. They both stood up and shook Jacobs’s hand. "It was very nice to meet you Mr. Murray."

"Please, call me Jacob."

"It was very nice to meet you, Jacob."

"I would like you both to come back to the store again; I have a lot more stories to tell." Michael gave Jacob a hug.

"We would love to hear them."

As they pulled away from the store Michael waved to Jacob. "We have to go back soon. I think talking about Ben made Jacob feel better."

"I think you're right baby. I have a feeling we are going to become very good friends with Mr. Jacob Murray."

The End