Ben Bruckner is frustrated. He pulls his glasses off his nose and tosses them onto the table. I fucking hate writer's block, he thinks as he tries to massage a stiff spot on the back of his neck.
"This book stinks! Maybe Michael was right," Ben mutters as he pushes the piles of paper away in disgust. He looks up and sees Hunter walk into the room.
"Hey, Ben. What's going on?" Hunter asks as he walks to the fridge and opens it.
"Hey, Pal. I'm discovering that I stink as a writer," Ben answers as he picks up the piles of paper from the table and tosses them across the room.
"I'm sure it's not that bad. Can I read it?" Hunter bends down and picks up the scattered pages.
"No, it's worse than that but go ahead. I'm going to the gym."
Hunter nods. "I'll let you know what I think of it when I get through it. Have fun at the gym--but not too much fun." He grins as he walks into his bedroom, closing the door behind him.
"Good luck." Ben walks into the bedroom. His breath catches in his throat as he see Michael laying on the bed, reading the latest issue of 'Captain Astro.'
Ben gazes at the sight of his ebony-haired lover. His heart skips a beat at the sight of Michael, so totally engrossed in his comic.
Michael looks up and sees Ben looking at him. He smiles the heart-melting smile that Ben loves so much. He reaches over and puts the comic on the nightstand and moves towards Ben as Ben sits on the bed with his head in his hands.
"Ben? Baby? What's wrong?" Michael wraps his arms around Ben.
"I stink as a writer!" Ben moves into Michael's embrace.
Michael looks at Ben. "Will you stop saying that? You're a wonderful writer!"
Ben walks out and grabs some printed sheets. He hands them to Michael. "It's about Vic."
Michael's hands shake as he takes the papers from him. He looks into Ben's deep blue eyes for an explanation.
"I'm too close to the subject matter," Ben whispers. "I should have told you, but I just couldn't." Ben searches Michael's face for a reaction.
After an eternity, Michael speaks up. "It is? I don't know what to say right now."
Ben grabs his gym bag and starts to walk out. "I'm going to the gym. I'll be back before dinner."
Michael grabs Ben's arm. "Wait! This means a lot to me. I'm sure Vic would have been honoured."
"I hope so. He meant a lot to me Michael."
"I know he did, Sweetheart. I never told you this but he was the only one who really supported me when I wanted to get you back after acting like an asshole," Micheal confesses.
"What?" Ben looks stunned.
Michael gazes into Ben's deep blue eyes. He swallows and takes Ben's hand in his. "That night, when we first went out and then went back to your apartment. I was in your bathroom, looking for the condoms. You came in and I told you I couldn't do it 'cause I was scared," he explains.
Ben feels Michael squeeze his hand. "I knew that was the biggest mistake of my life." Michael whispers.
Ben takes Michael into his arms and lets him continue without interruption.
"Vic was the only one who told me to do whatever it took to get you back into my life. I'm so grateful that he was in our life Ben." Michael sobs as he lowers his head.
Ben tightens his grip on Michael and fights to keep his tears from falling. "Thank Christ he was--I miss him so much Michael," he whispers.
"I know, Baby, I know. So do I. I would give anything to have him back."
"I'm so sorry about the way I acted when Vic died, Babe." Ben kisses Michael's temple.
Michael nuzzles Ben's neck. "It's okay. We're all having a hard time dealing with it."
"No! It's not okay! The man you called a father died and I'm being an asshole about my book. Hunter acts out...I push you away...we're supposed to be a family damnit!" Ben sobs.
"We are a family damnit! No family is perfect!" Michael cradles Ben's face in his hands and covers his mouth with his own.
Ben moans as he melts into the kiss. He kisses Michael for a few minutes and pulls away breathlessly.
"I know, but seeing Vic die made me realize that one day, it will be me and Hunter." Ben gazes deeply into Michael's soulful brown eyes.
"Don't say that! Aren't you always saying that we should be living in the now?" Michael screams, his eyes filling with tears.
"I'm gonna die, Babe...and it scares me."
Michael looks up at Ben and bursts into tears. Ben pulls him close as Hunter watches from the doorway, unnoticed by them both.
"Ben I know that! I just don't what I'll do without you in my life. You and Hunter are my life. You're the reason I wake up in the morning." He sobs, trying to make Ben understand.
Ben closes his eyes and lets his own tears fall. "Live in the now, Babe...It's all we can do."
Michael closes his eyes and rests his head on Ben's broad shoulder. His whole body shakes with the realization that his beloved Ben will die.
Ben feels Michael's body shake. He tightens his grip around him. "I love you Michael--Hunter too. I'll fight every step of the way, I'm never gonna leave you without a fight," he vows.
Michael's mind flashes back to sitting at Ben's bedside after his collapse. "It's a fight that I'm more than willing to fight with you and be by your side, no matter how hard things may get."
Ben looks down at Michael, love filling his eyes and heart. "I meant what I wrote in my book. You are a hero--my hero. You're amazing Michael," he whispers.
"And you're my hero, Ben." Michael stands and takes Ben's hand. They walk towards Hunter as he roughly wipes the tears from his eyes. He walks into his foster father's embrace, returning it tightly.
"Hunter. Are you okay?" Ben asks, looking concerned.
Hunter nods. "Just got a little choked up. Ben, you have to get it published."
"I can't--it's too personal. I wrote it so I could start to deal with it myself. It was never meant to be read except by those closest to him."
"Ben, look at Hunter. Look how it affected him. It's your choice, Sweetheart, but think about how it could help people who are either dying from AIDS or caring for those who are," Michael pleads.
Ben chews on his lip as if he is thinking. "Give it to your mother. See what she says."
Michael nods as he sits down to read it. He opens his copy and reads the dedication. Ben and Hunter walk out, leaving him alone with the book.
"To Vic Grassi--Who made living in the now look so damn easy. For his friendship, love and support, I truly thank him."
Michael feels his eyes fill with tears as he reads the final part of the dedication.
"To Michael Novotny--My anchor and my foundation. The song in my heart and the love of my life. I love you now and forever. You truly are a superhero."
"To James 'Hunter' Montgomery--You came into my life when I least expected it and gave me hope for the future. For this I thank you from the bottom of my heart."