It was time to go home and get his life back. Hank was firmly entrenched in high school and like most boys his age didn't want or really need his father around to hold his hand anymore. His anger at his mother and the disillusionment he'd suffered over her marriage ending had resolved itself in family therapy. His hurt and feelings of abandonment had only been sparked momentarily when Michael left but that too had worked itself out. Michael had kept in contact with Hank through e-mail and phone calls to Laurie's house, making sure the boy knew his leaving had nothing to do with him and reassuring him that he'd always love him. David had always meant to call or e-mail Michael and thank him for doing that. He didn't have to, especially not after the way things had ended. But Like everything else with Michael the time just never seemed right.
David wanted to go home back to Pittsburg he missed his old house, his practice, which had never really gotten a solid footing in Portland. Not that he hadn't had success it was that he missed his patients, missed the nurses he worked with. And more than anything else he missed Michael. David missed that sense of wonderment in Michael eyes when he saw something new. He missed the smell of his hair, he missed the way those deep brown eyes looked up at him with such love and compassion. He missed the feel of Michael's tight little body in his arms. He longed to hear Michael say his name the way he used to at night just after they'd come together. He missed the warmth of Michael's body pressed up against his when the room was cold. He missed the way Michael just seemed to know when he needed him, well that was before they got to Portland.
It seemed to David that everything in their relationship changed once they got to Portland and the new house. Like something in Michael had vanished and he spent most of his time trying to find it. David often wondered what would have happened had they stayed in Pittsburg. Would they still be together? Would they have broken up anyway only a little later than they did?
When Michael had first left David had convinced himself that it was for the best. Michael wanted to be home and David had made it impossible for him to stay. He didn't realize until later that Michael was a fish out of water. Everything that helped him stay connected was gone. His mother and Uncle, even Brian Kinney.
David tried to go on with his life, hooking up with guys his age. He figured he'd have more in common with them. But they only exposed the void where Michael used to be. They only made him feel like an old fool who had thrown his last chance at love, real abiding love away and for what. Because he couldn't get past the ghost of Brian. Michael had chosen him, had left everything he knew and everyone he loved including Brian behind for him. And what did he do? He let what Michael felt for Brian eat away at him until all Michael was doing the last week he was in Portland was apologizing to David. The last thing Michael said to him before David told him to go home was "I thought you said I didn't have to apologize all the time. And now that's all I seem to be doing."
That haunted David, it crept into his dreams and colored them a dusty hue of gray. Where the world in his dreams was always seen through a haze of Michael's hurt feelings and loneliness. He wanted to reach out and touch him to comfort Michael but there was someone blocking the way. Someone David had never seen but someone he knew about. Because Michael had over the years kept in touch with Hank, David heard sporadic news about his old lover.
For instance David knew that Michael owned his own business now, a comic book store. He knew that Michael was back to living in his old apartment. He knew that Michael was happy, and he knew the reason why was because of some guy named Ben. Hank recently told him that Vic died, and that broke David's heart.
It broke not so much because of his own feelings about Vic even though he loved and respected Vic. David's heart broke for Michael because he knew how much Michael loved and depended on Vic.
It was time to go home and do whatever he had to do in order to get Michael back into his life and back into his bed.
"Hunter, get you ass out here now!!!" Michael bellowed across the apartment. Everyone was running late this morning.
"Dude, don't get your blood pressure up." Hunter said easing into the living room buttoning his pants.
"Shut up. Sit. Eat." Michael said smiling at his son placing a plate of eggs and toaster waffles in front of the boy.
"What's this?" Hunter said picking up one of the waffles.
"Three guesses," Michael said turning back into the kitchen to finish up Ben's protein shake.
Ben came rushing into the kitchen kissed Michael on the neck from behind as he took the glass of greenish goop from his husband's hand. "Thanks."
"You'd better hurry you're late," Michael said reaching over to grab a banana and give it to Ben for an in between class snack.
"I'll see you later." Ben said after downing the last of his shake and gathering his stuff and rushing for the door, Hunter hard on his heels.
"Good luck on the French test," Michael shouted behind the boy.
Michael was cleaning up a little before he left when the phone rang. "Hello."
"Hi." A shaky voice came over the receiver.
Michael paused not sure of who it was but the voice sounded familiar albeit far away. "Can I help you?"
"Michael, it's me," David finally said.
"David?" Michael quizzed teetering between hanging up and fainting dead away. He compromised and plopped down into the nearest chair.
"I know this must be a shock after so long..." David started.
"You're damned right. What do you want?" Michael spat.
"I'd like to come talk to you if that's okay," David said trying to remain clam.
"You'd like to come talk to me. Are you out of your fucking mind? After nearly three years all of a sudden you want to talk to me? Well, I don't want to talk to you. We don't have anything left to say to one another." Michael said and hung up the phone.
Ben popped back in he'd forgotten some of his papers he'd be handing back to his class to day and found Michael sitting at the table shaking in anger, his eyes tearing. Ben squatted down in front of Michael looking concerned. "Michael are you all right?"
"I'm fine," Michael said lying but trying to compose himself. "Really."
Michael gathered Ben's face in his hands and kissed him lovingly on the mouth. Then he hugged him, he took a deep breath and asked why Ben had come back, Ben explained about the papers. While Ben gathered his delinquent papers Michael got his stuff together and they left together.
This was his life. David was the past let him stay buried there with the rest of the trash. Michael thought as Ben rode part way to the store with him before having to veer off and go on to work.
"Damn it," David muttered into the phone as he heard the click of Michael hanging up. He was fucking up already. None of that conversation went the way he wanted it to. He'd wanted to tell Michael how sorry he was for not having the courage to call sooner. He'd wanted to tell him that he still loved him and that he was a fool for having ever let him go. He'd wanted to beg Michael to see him and give him a chance to talk to him to let him try and explain all of it. That's what David had wanted to do. That's not what happened. As usual he'd gotten off on the wrong foot with Michael and now he'd have to find someway of making up for it.
It was around 2:30 in the afternoon when the door to Michael comic book store opened. The bell over the door drawing Michael's attention to the front of the store. He'd been on the computer checking on some of the orders for Rage. The smile on his face faded as he saw who it was.
"Hey." David said walking to the counter.
"I told you I didn't want to see you," Michael said looking back at the computer screen.
"Actually you said you didn't want to talk to me. You didn't say anything about not seeing me." David said placing his hand flat on the counter.
"Fine. I don't want to see you, I don't want to talk to you. I don't want a fucking e-mail or a phone call. I don't even want to know about you. Is that clear enough for you?" Michael spat at David venom dripping from every word.
"Michael look I know how you must feel..." David began.
"You know how I must feel? Did that just come out of your mouth? You don't know shit. You don't know what it's like to have the person you love fucking dismiss you. And then not a word for three years," Michael said holding back tears.
"I didn't hear from you either, Michael. I had to hear from Hank that you were even in a new relationship. Seems like you got over it and me pretty damn quickly." David said trying to keep it together.
"What was I supposed to do pine for you, like you accused me of pining for Brian? Was I supposed to write you a news letter to keep you informed about my life? Okay here's a freebee for ya, I'm married now." Michael said lifting his left hand showing David his ring finger. "I don't have time for your shit....Go home David," Michael said getting up walking from behind the counter and over to the front door.
"I am home. That's what I came here to tell you. I've moved back," David said walking over the front door.
"Doesn't change a damn thing." Michael said closing the door behind an exiting David.
"Married," David said to himself as he walked down the street to the Liberty Diner. He took a seat in one of the booths and waited for the waitress. "Married." He whispered again as if doing so would make the word seem more real to him and less like he was from a strange planet trying to understand the vernacular of this new blue planet.
"What'll it be hon..." Debbie started until she realized who it was. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
"Trying to order some food." David smiled up at her.
"We reserve the right to refuse service..." Debbie said pointing to the sign over the counter.
"For what reason?" David quizzed.
"We don't need one. But personally, because you treated my son like shit. Now get the fuck out. And don't come back."
"So the only person who gets to treat Michael like shit is Brian. I'll have to remember that," David said getting up to leave.
The rest of the week went by in kind of a blur to Michael with periodic moments of clarity. He told Ben that David had made his presence known. Ben had wanted to know that David wanted. Michael told Ben he didn't give David a chance to tell him. And as far as he was concerned he didn't ever have to know why David was back in town.
David called the house a couple of times but when Ben picked up he'd hang up the phone. Michael felt he was too old for that kind of nonsense. The last time David had called he got an ear full from a very pissed off Michael. Ben said if there was that much anger there was till passion left.
Michael quickly quelled that little theory by stating that David was being annoying and he didn't feel like he should have to deal with David because David wanted or needed for whatever reason to deal with him.
"Maybe you should talk to him get whatever it is out in the open and deal with it," Ben said softly in Michael's ear as they lay in bed.
"Whatever it is has been over for a long time. I've put it and him behind me," Michael said turning over now to look deeply into Ben's blue eyes.
"Maybe if you talk to him it'll finally be over for him too and he'll leave you alone," Ben said kissing Michael sweetly on the nose.
"It's in the past. And that's where it should stay," Michael replied kissing his husband tenderly on the lips.
David had called for nearly a month after he first got back into down. Then suddenly the calls stopped. Michael was relieved, but Ben wondered what it meant. Something told him that David wasn't the kind of man to just give up. Especially if all the stories he'd heard from Ted and Emmett were true. They'd told Ben of the epic battles that David had waged against Brian for Michael's attention and his affection.
Just as things were getting back to normal there was a knock at the door. Hunter was sitting at the table finishing up his homework, while Ben and Michael sat on the sofa curled up together watching a movie. It was a black and white move so they knew Hunter would be barely tempted to watch instead of doing his homework.
Hunter got up from the table and answered the door. He was sick of looking at the same algebra problem and decided he needed a break anyway.
Michael heard a familiar voice and stiffened. Ben turned around and saw a tall dark haired man standing slightly to the side of Hunter.
"I'm looking for Michael Novotny," The deep voice said.
"Who's this?" Hunter asked, stepping aside a little.
"A mistake I made," Michael said getting up and walking to the door. "Go finish your homework."
Hunter went back to the table and sat down. Ben motioned for him to go into his room and the boy went with a little shrug of his shoulders.
"What're you doing here?" Michael asked as he got to the door.
"I wanted to see you," David said craning his neck to see the man in the back round clearing something off the table.
"You've seen me now good night," Michael said about to slam the door in David's face.
"Baby, don't be so rude," Ben said coming up behind Michael. "Hi, you must be David?"
"Yeah, and you are?" David asked extending his hand as he walked in past a fuming Michael.
"This is my husband Ben," Michael said closing the door pissed off.
"Nice to meet you at last Ben," David said sizing the other man up. He was attractive if you like that sort of thing.
"I've heard a lot about you," Ben said looking directly into the dark eyes.
"I'm sure none of it good," David said looking at Michael.
"You'd be surprised," Ben replied.
"What do you want David?" Michael asked impatiently.
"We never finished our conversation," David said taking the seat being offered to him by Ben.
"I don't know about you but I was done," Michael said taking a seat next to Ben.
"You see, Ben, Michael and I have some unfinished business," David said to Ben but never took his gaze from Michael.
"David cut the shit. We said every thing we had to say to each other three years ago."
"Can we talk in private please?" David said suddenly unsure of what the fuck he was doing.
"Sure. It's about time I took my meds anyway," Ben said getting up going into the kitchen for a glass of water then stopping by to kiss Michael on the forehead and then walked into the bedroom. "It was interesting, David."
Ben went into the bathroom got his meds and walked into the bedroom leaving Michael and David seated of the sofa squared off like two boxers ready to fight.
"David, I'm tired and I have to open up early tomorrow so make it quick," Michael said getting up folding his arms in front of him.
"I love you, Michael. Was that quick enough for you?" David asked getting up coming closer to Michael who took a big step back.
"Are you drunk? On crack maybe? What the fuck is your problem? You come into my home and interrupt my night with my husband and my son just to lay this bullshit on me?" Michael asked walking to the door.
"Your husband is in there taking a pharmacy and you're asking me if I have a drug problem?" David said advancing to the door with no intention of leaving.
"What Ben's doing isn't the subject of conversation here, David. This is about you and how you think you can just come back into my life and drop this on me. Like I'm stuck in that same place you last saw me waiting for you to come to my rescue. Well, if you haven't noticed, I've moved on. I own my own business, I've completely come out of the closet, I have two beautiful children, and I have a man who loves me and isn't threatened by my relationship with Brian. I haven't been sitting by the phone waiting for you to call. I'm not the person you kicked out of your life back in Portland. Nor do I appreciate you coming in here thinking that all you have to do is say you love me and everything will be fine. That I'll come rushing back into your arms and everything will be forgiven," Michael said his tone more calm than he actually felt. He wanted to scream he wanted to bite David's head off but he knew he couldn't do that without dragging Ben and Hunter into this madness.
"You can't honestly tell me that you don't still have feelings for me. Because I know you do. I know you love me even if you won't admit it. You're here playing house, but your life is with me," David said.
"My feelings for you at this very moment go no further the distance from here to the other side of the door. I admit David I loved you I really did. But what I have now is far from a game. I'm completely in love with Ben."
"The only person you've ever been completely in love with is Brian."
"It always comes back to Brian, doesn't it?"
"For you? Yes."
"No, David, for you. Brian is my best friend and I love him deeply in ways I can't explain. And that was always your problem--you wanted an explanation. Ben, on the other hand, accepts what I have with Brian because it doesn't affect what I have with him. We have a life here, David. It's time you found a life of your own."
"I could tell Ben things..."
"There's nothing you could tell him that he doesn't already know. You can't hurt me David. Too much has happened."
The bedroom door opened and Ben walked out. He came and stood by Michael wrapping his arm around him. "I think you'd better go David."
"You should know, Ben, that Michael will never love anyone as much as he loves Brian and even though you may have his body, Brian has his heart," David said walking out the door.
"David, you've had someone in your life die. You should know better than anyone that life's too short for the games you're playing."
"What the fuck to you know about it?" David spat giving Michael a betrayed look.
"I know you're trying to plant seeds of doubt about my life with Michael in my mind. I know you love him, but that's not what you're here. You're here because you're lonely. If my status has taught me nothing else it's that life's too short for the bullshit. So go out and find your life and leave ours alone," Ben said then closed the door in David's stunned face.
"My hero," Michael said turning to Ben and throwing his arms around Ben's strong neck.
"From what I heard, which was everything, you didn't need a hero," Ben said lifting Michael and kissing him.
"No I didn't need one, but it's good to know I have one in reserve."
Hunter's bedroom door opened. "Do you two ever quit?" He asked walking up to them. "By the way a few more minutes I was coming out here to kick that old guy's ass."