by Adam
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Disclaimer: Tom, Harry and any Voyager character in this story belong to Paramount.

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Creeping slowly through the unlit quarters of one Ensign Harry Kim, Tom moved gracefully towards the sleeping beauty.

Stopping at the foot of the bed Tom heaved out a sigh and looked deeply at the man who had changed his life. He lingered for a moment, simply gazing at the naïve, young man. Taking in the slender cheekbones and the bronze skin. His attentions headed past the thick, luscious lips to Harry's eyes, which were now blanketed over by the ethnic folds of Harry's sweet chocolate eyes.

Leaning forward for a moment, Tom brushed away a lock of hair that had fallen over Harry's forehead before whispering softly in his ear.

"Wake up, sleeping beauty."

"Nrrrr whhhhhhhht?" Harry mumbled, not wanting to be roused from the warm, gentle place, he was in.

"Come on, Har, " Tom said. Shaking Harry softly as his voice grew louder.

The loud voice finally did it. Harry's eyes shot open to see a grinning Tom Paris, only inches away.

"Tom- what... what are you doing here?" Harry asked, nervous at the hungry eyes staring down at him. He knew that if Tom was here, it was likely that he intended to drag him off somewhere, which would undoubtedly lead to trouble.

"Har, I want to show you something." Tom said, his eyes growing softer than before. The confusion in his friend's eyes making him look sweeter still. "I was in bed staring at the ceiling, trying valiantly to get to sleep when something happened. I knew I had to show you something."

"Tom, do you have any idea what time it is?"

"0300." Instantly came from Tom.

"THAT WAS NOT A QUESTION TOM! I have to be on duty at 0600!" Harry groaned, his sleep muddled mind pulling at him.

"Please Harry. This is really important to me." Tom said, looking at him with the best 'puppy-eyes' he could muster.

Sighing in defeat, and knowing he could never say 'no' to this man, Harry pushed the blankets away, and got up.

---
Outside the Holodeck-

"So?" Harry asked impatiently as they stood outside the bulky door of the holodeck.

He had been working a double shift the previous day, and with no food, and very little sleep, the strain was getting to him. He was tired; exhausted really, and despite how cute Tom was he needed sleep.

"Computer," Tom said, ignoring Harry's statement. "Initiate program: 'A spot for Harry.'" After a few moments a beep sounded, letting Tom know the program was running. Stepping back, he motioned for Harry to enter first.

Upon entering Harry's jaw dropped in awe. It was an immaculate beach, cut off from the sea, surrounded on all sides by the island itself. In the center of the paradise scene, was a pure, crystal clear lagoon. The air was warm and sweet. It was perfect.

"Tom. . ." Harry began, unable to think of what to say. What could he say that would describe how utterly amazed he was at the program.

Seconds past before he said anything. When suddenly "This is beautiful." Came from Harry's lips. The simplest compliment often been the best and most rewarding.

"It's yours Harry, all yours. I made it for you!"

"But why, Tom?"

"Because Harry, the truth is, I--I-- love you!"

"Tom, I-"

"NO!" Tom stopped with a shout. Knowing very well what Harry would say. What he would have to say. "Just let me have this moment. You and me in paradise. Just let me have this, please?"

A nod from Harry and Tom's heart filled with joy. He would have this, always. They may never be together; his feelings never returned, but he would have this. Both of them together. He'd have these memories.

Harry knew that Tom wanted, needed more from him, but Harry didn't think he had anymore to give. Shrugging away some of the uneasiness he turned to Tom.

"So. . ." He started, trying to break the uncomfortable silence, "wanna go for a swim?"

Tom gulped in response, his face flushing red.

Harry took this as a yes, and grinned in return.

Removing the well-worn, dark green shirt he always slept in, ever since he"d commented on how nice it looked upon seeing it in Tom's quarters. Tom had given him it and from then on Harry slept in nothing else. It was a kind of security blanket, making him feel warm and safe. No matter how many times it was cleaned, it kept the strong, masculine scent of Tom on it. He needed that. Needed his friend with him.

Harry had replicated some baggy shorts, the same colour as the shirt to sleep in, and he kept those on as he began to walk towards the unbelievably clear lagoon. Stopping as he realized Tom was not following.

A blush crept up Harry's neck, when he turned and saw that Tom was staring at his naked upper body. Tom blushed in return when realising he'd been caught.

"Yes. A swim."

Wasting no more time, Tom hastily removed his navy shirt and walked with Harry the rest of the way to the lagoon.

The water was warm and soothing. Caressing and soothing both men's soft skin.

"Tom, I know you want more from me. . ." Harry started again.

"What?" The calm mood shattered with Tom's loud, questioning voice. They had been gently floating along the surface, but drifted towards the shore and were soon standing.

"I said. . ."

"I know what you said!" Tom interrupted. "You have no idea what I want! What I need. I made this for you. You're my best friend and I love you! I know you can't love me, after all" Several times before Tom had held in what he really felt, and let the subject drop, but this time he just couldn't.

"After all," He repeated "I'm not Libby, am I?"

A flash of anger lit Harry's eyes at the mere mention of his girlfriend's name.

"You leave her out of this!"

"No! Tell me something, Harry. You use Libby as an excuse not to be with me, is that the real reason? We've been out here over two years, Harry."

"It means, Harry, you didn't use Libby to stop yourself from going on a date with the Delaneys with me. You didn't use it when you got involved with the holodeck character. So what's the real reason huh?"

Harry knew that deep down he'd used Libby to keep from getting close to anyone, but he was angry that Tom was finally letting his feelings be known.

"You tell me what you think, Tom? Obviously you've thought about this a lot!" Harry said, hoping meeting anger with anger would cause Tom to back down. All this did, if anything was make things worse. "You wanna know what I think? You really want to know? I think your 'I'm a friend with the criminal Tom Paris act' is just that! An act." Tom began to impersonate various crewmembers, "'Oh look there's Harry. He's friend's with Paris, he's so accepting.'"

Tears escaped Harry's eyes upon hearing what Tom really thought of him. He loved Tom like a brother, more than a brother and this is what he felt.

Tom however didn't notice Harry's upset state and continued.

"Admit it, you don't want to get together with me, because you don't want to be with someone as easy as me. Someone who's fucked half the ship. I can't blame you, Harry. Harry. . . Dear, sweet, naïve young Harry."

Tom was ready to continue on, but a glance at Harry's face stopped all that. Totally deflated now he looked at his angel's face. He looked at what his outburst had done to the gentle, delicate man before him.

"Oh, Harry."

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Harry screamed, batting away Tom's hand. He quickly jumped up and stormed out of the holodeck, picking up his discarded shirt on the way. He knew he'd done more damage than Tom had. Ruining what should have been a beautiful night. With these thoughts he continued to run all the way back to his quarters, glad few people were working at this hour as he finally got 'home' and collapsed to his bed, the green shirt scrunched to his face.

He was still crying when the Captain commed him, and the rest of the senior officers to the bridge.

--- The Bridge

Harry entered the bridge, his eyes still red and swollen from crying. Tom was at his post, and turned at hearing someone enter the bridge. Seeing it was Harry his face immediately looked sad and guilty.

Harry ignored Tom's tearfull cerulean eyes, and began to work busily at his post.

"Captain," Tuvok spoke. "I'm reading a high concentration of Dilithium on a planet two days off our original heading.

The Captain shook her head. "We'd be late for our meeting at Drusalis 4. Mr.Kim. Take a shuttle and collect as much Dilithium as you can."

"Aye, Captain." Harry acknowledged, glad that he would be getting away for a few days.

"Captain." Tom spoke calmly.

"Yes Mr Paris?"

"There are several dense ion storms in the atmosphere. Piloting a shuttle will be exceptionally difficult."

"Commander," Harry asked in hope, "Perhaps you could join me?"

"I will assign the away missions, Ensign!" Captain Janeway reprimanded. "Lt. Paris, you will accompany Ensign Kim on this away mission. Report to the Shuttlebay immediately."

"Yes ma'am." Tom replied, stepping from his station and heading for the Turbolift. Harry stepped in first, and commanded the lift to its destination.

--- On The Shuttle

"The Ion storms will disrupt communications until we leave the planet."

"Confirmed, Lt. The meeting at Drusalis 4 should last at least two days."

"Understood Captain."

"Very good. Janeway out."

--- The Shuttle

"We're approaching the atmosphere." Tom said, his voice unsteady as the ion storms shook the ship.

"Impulse engines are going offline!" Harry yelled out, an edge of panic in his voice.

"Switching to maneuvering thrusters. . . attempting to slow our descent. . . there's not enough power! I need the Impulse engines now!"

"I'm doing the best I can!" Harry responded, busily tapping at his console. The feelings of hurt and anger from their earlier argument bubbling to the surface.

"All I'm saying is, if you don't get them back online in. . . ." Tom stopped to check the sensors. ". . . In two minutes where going to be crash landing on this lovely planet."

Not bothering to reply Harry worked to strengthen the structural integrity the best he could.

He knew the Impulse engines wouldn't come back online within the time he had, so working to strengthen the shuttle when they impacted the surface was the best he could do.

"We're going down, impact in forty seconds."

His fingers moving at impossible speeds, Harry continued to work.

"Ten seconds!"

"The dampeners have just gone offline. I don't know if the ship will hold together."

"Four, Three, Two, one. . ."

CRASH

Harry awoke sometime later with a stabbing pain in his side. He opened his eyes and saw the problem. A huge chunk of the shuttle's hull was imbedded through his chest.

"Tom. . ." Harry gasped out, a wave of pain rushing through him.

Tom was trying to repair a decimated console when he heard Harry moaning his name.

"I'm right here Harry." Tom said, repeating the process of brushing away a loose lock of hair. "You're going to be ok!"

"Tom." Speaking was painful, but he had to try. "I. . . can barely speak. I feel so heavy. I'm cold, and. . ." He stopped to cough, a few drops of blood coming forward.

"I can't give you anything, Harry." Hot tears fell onto Harry's battered face as Tom continued. "Both Med-Kits were destroyed. I wish I could take the pain, Harry. Take it from you and put it all in me. I wish I. . ."

"It's alright, Tom."

Tom gave a miserable laugh at the situation. Harry was trying to comfort him, and he was the one with a large, jagged piece of metal through his body.

"Just rest, Harry. You need to rest. I'm going to get a message to Voyager, and help will be here soon!" Tom promised.

Harry just nodded. He knew it was impossible to get a signal through the ion storms. He also knew that Voyager would be at the very least two days away, and two days was a day too long.

He could feel the heat leaving his body. The pain going right along with it. Harry couldn't stop thinking about Tom. His concern mainly for what his death would do to Tom.

--- Three Hours Later

"TOM!" Harry screamed. The pain now totally gone, he could talk with ease.

"Yeah, Harry. I'm here."

"I. . ." Harry gasped, the pain gone, but the struggle to speak was becoming harder. "I need to tell you some things. Before it's too late."

"No Harry! Don't you do that. Don't you say your goodbyes! You're not going to die."

"Please Tom, just listen." Harry begged, in no condition to argue. A small nod from Tom told him he could continue. "Tom, the argument we had in the Holodeck, about Libby? You were right. I do use her to stay out of relationships, but not for you, Tom, never for you!"

Taking in a much needed breath Harry continued. "I wanted to be with you too Tom!" Harry admitted, ignoring the way Tom flinched at the word 'wanted,' already showing he was thinking in past tense.

"I wanted to be sure you were serious. You really wanted me. I knew as soon as I entered the program you made for me, that you were serious. But you kept telling me to be quiet. That you, wanted this moment, so I let you have it. I was going to tell you Tom! I swear I was but then you started to say what you thought, I got upset." Fresh tears began again from both Tom and Harry as the recent memories resurfaced.

"Harry, I never meant what I said. I just wanted you so badly I couldn't see straight. I didn't think I was good enough for you and that ate at me. So I just said those things so I could have a reason to stop pining for you! Not that it worked." Tom forced a smile.

"I do love you Tom, with all my heart. The shirt you gave me, I slept in it every night." Seeing Tom's confused look, Harry struggled to explain as his strength weakened. "It was a way to keep you close, Tom. I could smell you on the shirt. I needed to keep you close."

"Well, you're going to get that chance!"

"Tom, I haven't got much time. Do you do last requests?" Harry joked, forcing a smile on his paling face.

"Harry." Tom sobbed.

"I've got two." Despite Tom"s tears, Harry knew he was listening.

"I want you to be happy, Tom. Live your life. Don't brood the rest of your years away thinking of what we could have been."

"I don't want anyone but you!" Tom sobbed.

"Tom, you're going to deny my request?" He asked in mock sadness, It was a cruel but effective way of getting Tom's attention.

"I want you to find someone. Show them the program you made. Enjoy it with them. Someone else deserves your love. Deserves the beauty you created."

"Harry, I. . . "

"Shush, just let me finish. I want a kiss from you, Tom. I want to die with your lips on mine! I want to know. . . for once in my life feel complete. I know you could do that for me, Tom.

Tom didn' respond, but slowly brought his lips down to Harry's. He struggled to stop the tears when feeling the dry and cold lips.

The kiss was sweet and caring, showing the true love they felt for one another.

A few minutes passed when Tom began to feel Harry's lips stop responding, telling him death approached.

Attempting to pull back was stopped with Harry's strong hands in his hair, holding him close. Harry's lips stopped moving when the last of his strength slipped away.

Many more minutes passed until Tom pulled back from Harry's lips. Hoping that if he continued Harry would still be alive. Alive in his mind. For he knew when his eyes opened, he would for the first time know truly that the man he loved was dead. Opening his eyes he saw the truth. He looked into the dead brown eyes, that once housed emotions even a Q could never hope to feel. A galaxy with so many life-forms, and never again would Harry Kim come back to him.

--- Two Days later

Tom was found with his arms around his legs and his trousers soaked through with fat, salty tears.

The Doctor was to put it bluntly, surprised when he found out how long Harry had survived with the state of his injuries. He'd kept himself alive to tell Tom what needed to be said.

--- The Holodeck

"Well Harry," Tom began, standing on the beach by the lagoon. So few memories, but it held such a special place in his heart. "Request two I did. I swear I've never kept a promise in my life, Harry, but I'll keep this one. I'll do my best to move on. But I'll never forget you, Harry. I love you and that will never change." Tom stopped to wipe more tears that fell from his eyes. "I may move on Harry, find someone else, but I'll always have my memories, Harry. I'll always have you."

With that, he turned and left the holodeck. His tears shed, his memories made, his life changed. He would move on and grant the request made of him.

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End