Author: Sarah Li
Archive: Okay if you want it. Please tell me where.
Email Address: kxmuse@yahoo.com
Category: Crossover, first times, slash
Fandoms: Diagnosis Murder, Stargate SG1
Rating: PG
Warnings: None that I can think of
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Double the Requite
by Sarah Li
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{Jesse}
Friday. Finally.
Life hasn't been very interesting lately. I work all
the time, put my checks in the bank
and sleep as much as possible in the few hours between
the hospital and BBQ Bob's.
That's not much sleep, I'm telling you. Sometimes I
go to work with baggy eyes,
yawning, knowing there's nothing but the same old
stuff in the next few days. It's not
easy to hang onto my enthusiasm. It gets very old.
Being a genius can generate a lot of
responsibilities.
It also doesn't do much for my love life. I haven't
had a date in so long I've forgotten
how to ask for one, or whether it's politically
correct for me to ask. I find myself
wondering how other doctors manage a wife and children
when I can't even take the time
to pause and smile at a pretty girl.
Actually, it's been a long time since a pretty girl
made me look twice. I don't know if
I'm bragging or complaining, but for some insane
reason, I've developed a fixation on
someone who's *not* a girl. The tragic facts are:
he's twenty years older than me, he's
my best friend, he's a cop, and he's straight. And
I'm not gay, either, so why am I
torturing myself? Why am I attracted solely to him,
and not other more accessible
people? I'm in constant contact with at least five
other people of varying sexual
persuasions, people I'm positive who are attracted to
me, but I don't want any of them. I
want him. I want the unattainable.
I can't help it. I'm hopeless.
I could go to a pychologist and he would tell me that
because I've deprived myself of
feminine company and sexual pleasures, (and this is a
manditory issue in males between
the ages of 12 and 65) that I'm substituting my friend
Steve into this lacking part of me.
I agree--to some extent. This is probably true, but I
could sit and theorize 'til I go blind
and never know for sure. I know that it all started
out rather innocently and progressed
until I now picture him naked and taking control of me
every night before I finish myself
off and fall asleep.
I always dream about him. I think of him all day when
I'm at work. When he walks up
to me, I can't stop the big smile that crosses my
face. I always have to squash the
inclination to hug his neck. Some day, I'm not going
to be able to stop myself, and he's
going to realize how I feel. What will happen then
could determine the rest of my life,
and the downside of that scares the hell out of me. I
have to be careful.
Yes, it all started innocently. We were friends, then
we became *best* friends. He cares
about people, and since I care so much about people,
too, I think we just felt an instant
bond there. He saved my life a few times because I
tagged along with him on some of his
murder cases (he's a homicide detective with the
L.A.P.D.) and along with his dad, the
famous Dr. Mark Sloan of Community General Hospital,
who is his number one
observer, we busted some serious criminals. It was
all so exciting in the beginning.
I don't get excited as easily now, but it always makes
my heart race when I look up and
see Steve walking toward me. Isn't it funny how the
symptoms of intense fear are the
same as intense attraction?
{Daniel}
I drank the last of my soda and set the can aside,
wishing Jack would wake up and talk to
me. I took the exit into Los Angeles, narrowly missed
getting sideswiped by a truck
passing me on the wrong side. Stupid city drivers!
Where did that guy get his license?
I drove westward, though town, and smelled it long
before I saw it. The Pacific Ocean.
Beautiful. I parked the car on an overlook and sat
gazing for a short time.
The quiet was what woke Jack.
"What's goin' on?" he asked, rubbing his red eyes. He
had driven the first five hundred
miles after a twelve hour shift. I felt for him.
"I'm just taking a look at the ocean." I answered
peacefully. "Isn't it magnificent?"
He sat upright and peered like a man who wore strong
lenses at the water. "Um. Yeah.
Nice." He opened the car door and got out, stretched
himself and wandered toward the
edge of the precipice. "So you like water, do you,
Daniel? You wanta see a waterfall?"
"What are you talking about?" I asked, getting out of
the car. I feared for him, he was so
close to the edge. Tensely, I moved toward him,
reaching out to take hold of his arm.
He had unzipped and was taking a leisurely piss into
the bottomless ravine. "Aahh.
Nothing like the sweet fresh Pacific air." he said,
breathing deeply.
I laughed. "Jack...what if there's someone down
below?"
He grinned at me. "You worry too much, Daniel. Come
on. Join me in a little male
animal behavior here."
It was too inviting. I stood beside him immediately
and emptied my bladder in a perfect
arc into the great beyond.
"The Pacific." he said, sniffing the air
appreciatively. "So, we're in Los Angeles?"
"Yeah." I said with a heartfelt sigh. "L.A."
"Then let's go eat some barbecue." he said, putting
himself back in order. "I know just
the place."
{Jesse}
I yawned after I waved goodbye to the staff and
trudged to my car in the parking lot. It
looked a little like rain, but I wasn't worried. It
never rains much in southern California.
I drove to BBQ Bob's and parked beside Steve's car,
wondering where all the people
were as I shuffled wearily along the sidewalk. Friday
nights are usually booming with
hungry diners, but the restaurant was dark and empty.
There was an unusal acrid stench in the air. As I
pulled on the door, to my surprise, I
found it locked. I stared at the sign that read:
Closed due to fire. It took all of four
seconds before my brain would accept the written
words. There was a fire? How come
nobody told me?
I unlocked the door with my key and went in, yanking
the handwritten sign from the glass
and rereading it as if it would be different this
time. "Steve! Steve, are you here?" I
knew he was here. I had seen his car out front.
"Back here, Jess."
I found him in the kitchen, cleaning. There was a
huge black mess that included the
whole back wall, the floor, all the ovens and some
shelving. A lot of dishes and supplies
were destined for the trash. I held up the sign as if
he hadn't seen it--as if he wasn't the
one who had *written* it, and groaned. "How did this
happen?"
"Fire." he answered simply. He looked haggard.
"How long will we be closed?"
"No telling. I think we need new wiring and
everything along this wall."
My muses were in turmoil. I wanted to rejoice because
this meant I wouldn't have to
work this second job for a while, but the other voice
reminded me that I wouldn't get to
be close to Steve as much. I felt tears, and didn't
know if they were happy or sad.
Steve must have been troubled by my emotions, because
he came over to me and put his
hands on my shoulders. "Let's go to the beach house
and hang out for a while, okay?"
I nodded wordlessly. He pulled his hands back, almost
reluctantly, and looked at them.
They were blackened by the soot and grime he had been
handling.
"I'll go wash my hands. Why don't you pull the front
shades and head toward the house?
I'll be along as soon as I finish up a couple of
things here."
His soft voice and gentle eyes unglued me. I couldn't
help myself. I reached up, put my
arms around his neck and hugged him hard.
I heard him sigh as he put his arms around me and
hugged me back. "I'm gonna get you
all dirty." he murmured.
"I don't care." I clung to him. "Hold me."
I felt his lips brush my temple, his big hands on my
back and his breath against my face.
"Oh, Jesse." he whispered.
"Can we spend some time together?" I asked shakily.
"Now that we've *got* some free
time?"
"What do you have in mind?" he asked, and I felt those
strong, possessive arms
resituating me so we could see each other. He smiled
at me, a very personal smile, and
my knees went weak.
I smiled back. "Anything that turns you on." I said,
raising a hand to touch his face.
He turned his head, caught my fingers in his teeth and
playfully chomped on them. "If
you're willing for anything that turns *me* on, you're
in for a long, hot night, my friend."
My smile got more daring. "Sounds perfect to me.
Where shall we start?"
"We start here." he said softly, and after only a
moment's hesitation, he kissed me.
If I could have searched every memory of my lifetime,
I don't think I could have ever
found any single sensation to compare to Steve kissing
me. If I could go into the future,
to the end of my life, I don't think there will ever
be another one that measures up. As a
doctor, I can't claim eloquence or verbosity, but I
can say that I was caught up in a
whirlwind of romantic aspiration, and that the
experience of having my fantasy-lover kiss
me on the lips with intimate passion gave me
goosebumps in places that I wasn't aware
goosebumps could be. In that moment, in medical
metaphors, I was certain his kiss
could cure cancer, diabetes, cardio-pulmonary disease,
diarrhea and jungle rot.
I had one ultimatum--that he share his miracle with no
one else but me.
{Daniel}
The sign said 'BBQ Bob's'. I read the hours aloud.
"Open every day, noon to ten.
Doesn't look open. Looks dead."
"I wonder what's goin' on." Jack said, walking through
the open door. "Come on. Let's
see if my old friend Steven Sloan is here. I haven't
seen him in ages."
"Steven Sloan?" I followed him in.
"Yeah, he owns this joint."
"But there's nobody here. It must be closed." I
looked around the vacant dining room,
strangely disturbed by being alone in the large empty
room.
He strode through the room toward the double doors
that led into the kitchen. I stayed on
his heels, refusing to be left alone there. In a
tomb, in other worlds, in any other situation
that pertained to our Stargate investigations, it
would never trouble me, but here in this
barbecue joint, I was terrified.
But we weren't alone. In the kitchen, we stopped
suddenly at the sight of two men. They
were...kissing. I stood staring, open-mouthed, and
when I looked, Jack's mouth was
open, too.
{Jesse}
The sound of a man clearing his throat brought us
apart quickly, but at that moment, I
didn't care who knew, who saw or who didn't like
it--just so they didn't try to stop us or
get involved. Languidly, I glanced around to see who
was interrupting my fantasy
encounter and saw two strangers.
The throat cleared again and the tall, brown-eyed man
spoke. "Steve. Howya doin',
buddy?"
Steve gazed at him. "Jack? Jack O'Neill, is that
you?"
"It's me." Jack looked a little abashed. "Sorry, we
didn't mean to intrude...I mean...the
door was open. We didn't know what was going on...You
know what I mean."
I left the door opened! Damn!
The man wearing glasses spoke. "Jack, introduce us."
"I'm sorry." Jack said. "Daniel Jackson, this is
Steve Sloan. We went to boot camp
together about a hundred years ago."
Steve finally came out of his stupor and responded.
He turned me loose and shook hands
with Jack, then Daniel. "You caught me off guard
there for a minute, Jack." he said,
though the fact was obvious. "It *does* seem like a
hundred years, doesn't it? Damn,
Jack. You got old. Look at all that gray hair."
"I got a feeling yours would have a little more gray
in it, too, if you didn't cheat." Jack
flipped a short lock of Steve's dark blond hair.
"Who's your friend?"
"This is Jesse." Steve said, reaching for me. I went
into his offered one-armed embrace
and smiled a greeting at the visitors. "He's a doctor
at Community General Hospital and
my partner in this restaurant."
"A doctor. Impressive." Jack said, scanning me
approvingly.
Daniel cleared his throat. "Um, I'm a doctor, too."
he said.
I opened my mouth to ask questions, to talk shop, but
Jack rambled on. "So, the place
caught fire! How bad was the damage?"
"I'm not sure, yet." Steve answered. "It just happened
today. Sorry I can't offer you
anything to eat. We'll have to go somewhere else if
you're hungry."
"Not hungry." Jack said. I saw the flicker of
starvation in Daniel's eyes. "I just wanted
to see my old friend. We'll be on our way, now."
Putting a hand on his friend's
shoulder, he began backing away.
"Nonsense." Steve said. "Let's go drink some beer and
reminisce on old times. Come
on, Jack. You're not going to tell me that you're
squicked out by what you just caught us
doing here, are you?"
Jack laughed a little too quickly. "Of course not.
I'm a little surprised, but you know
me, Stevie boy. Nothing squicks me out."
"Yeah, right."
"No, really. Really. No. Really. We just have to
get going soon. I just wanted to say
hi."
Steve nodded knowingly at him. "It was nice seeing
you, Jack."
Jack returned the nod. "Steve, buddy, you're reading
me wrong. Actually...actually,
Daniel and I...we're involved, too."
His companion's eyes went wide, and I knew instantly
that he was lying.
{Daniel}
Did I just hear him right? Colonel Jack O'Neill just
told his friend...that we are involved
in a romantic way? Jack and *me*?
I've fallen asleep at the wheel. That has to be the
explanation. This scene is just too
weird for words. He would never, ever tell a lie like
that, not to save his friend's
feelings, not to get out of a pickle, not for any
reason I can come up with. Never. Jack is
way too straight to even pretend.
But since it came up, it's pretty damned interesting
to follow through. Even if it's just a
dream, I wouldn't miss this rare opportunity for the
world. I smiled and stepped closer to
him.
"No way, Jack. You?"
"I woulda thought the same of you, Steve."
"You and *him*?"
Okay, *I* can think like that, but shit... I felt
offended. What's wrong with *me*? What
am I, a geek or something? I slipped my hand into
Jack's and squeezed. He squeezed
back and gave me a grateful glance. He winked, and my
heart flopped over in my chest.
Oh, god. I am so pathetic.
"Prove it." Steve said. "I think you're lying, Jack."
"You think I'm lying? How do you expect me to prove a
thing like this?"
Steve winked. "Give him a kiss."
This dream just keeps getting more and more
interesting! I leaned toward him, waiting
for my kiss, expecting him to worm his way out of it.
But he really kissed me! When I first felt his lips
brush mine, I thought I would pass out
from the lack of oxygen. It ended quickly, but I was
thoroughly affected, and I knew in
that moment that he was wise to my long-time
infatuation. Some things you just know
without any explanation, and Jack knew that I had been
in love with him since almost the
beginning. He stood there, staring at me, realizing
everything and being stunned by it.
Luckily for me, this was all just a crazy dream.
Steve's voice came through the haze of my worst fears,
my passions, my damaged
sensitivity. "You call that a kiss? I kiss my sister
with more passion than that, Jack."
"Knowing you, I don't doubt that at all." Jack said
wryly. But he turned back to me and
descended on me again for a second kiss. My glasses
were knocked askew in the
struggle of passion, and when I reached up to take
them off, he caught my hand. His
tongue pushed between my lips as he gripped me closer.
Pulling back a few inches, he
caressed my cheek. "I love you, Daniel. You knew
that, didn't you?"
Talk about requiting a long-suffered crush! I
couldn't speak for the lump in my throat. I
managed a nod and kissed him again.
And, just as quickly, the kissing stopped and we just
hugged each other. I pressed my
face to his shoulder to hide my wrecked emotions.
"Jack, let's get out of here." Dream
or reality, I wasn't capable of this facade.
"You old dog!" Steve's cheerful comment made me
shiver. "This is great!"
Jack's ability to maintain his cool was no better than
mine. He was trembling. When I
drew away from him, I looked the other way. His
hoarse statement made me jump, and I
knew he couldn't mean what he came out of his mouth.
"Steve, didn't you mention some
beer?"
"Yeah, I did."
{Jesse}
"Steve, can I talk to you a minute?" I didn't want to
be rude, but the room was way too
crowded. "Privately?"
"Sure, Jess, what's wrong?"
I pulled him aside and whispered, "Steve, why would
you invite them tonight? This will
be our first night together."
"Aw, Jesse," He brushed my cheek with his fingers.
"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry."
He kissed my lips, both hands lost in my blond hair.
I loved him so much it hurt. I
needed time with him, and I now knew that he wanted it
with me.
Thank heaven it wasn't lost on Jack. "You know what?"
he said, and we turned our
attention to him. "Daniel and I are gonna...go get a
hotel room for the night, okay? We
can drink that beer some other time...maybe tomorrow."
He held out a business card,
which Steve took. "My cell number is on there. Give
me a call tomorrow afternoon,
okay?"
Steve smiled at him. "Thanks, Jack. You two have a
good first night together, too."
Jack caught Daniel by the hand and made a hasty exit.
We followed far enough to lock
up behind them, then stayed a while to talk. The
drink machine and dining room tables
were still intact, so we sat down and discussed our
relationship, the one that's going to
last the rest of our lives.
Everything else can wait 'til tomorrow.
~end~