The BLTS Archive - The Birthday Gift.
by C. A. Mallett

---

It's a few months before my birthday.  After I turned thirty, I vowed
never to celebrate another birthday again.  It's just that I didn't
want to be reminded how old I was.  Not that thirty-three is old by
any means.  I'm not complaining, mind you.  I have everything I want.
Well, nearly everything.

I lost my best friend five months after he beamed aboard.  Gary
Mitchell and I had gone through the academy together.  Although we
were posted to different ships and I 'climbed the ladder' as Gary
would say a lot faster than he did, I did manage to break the record
of being the first one to achieve a captaincy at thirty-two.  A
record I'm sure will be beaten in the future.  But for now that title
is mine and I'm proud of it!

Er . . . where was I?  Oh yeah,  had just lost my best friend.  In
my  blackest hours, Bones always kept telling me that everything
happens for a reason.  At the time I thought he was out of his
mind.  Gary was not only my best friend, he was . . .  now that I
think about it, what were we?   Not lovers, not the real
head-over-heels kind of love.  Just a good-fuck kind of love that
filled the emptiness.  And believe me, there is a hell of a lot of it
out here in deep space.  Anyhow, it was just like Bones said.  I
guess there really is a reason why everything happens when it does.
You see, if it hadn't been for the incident on Delta Vega I would
never have met Spock.

Of course I already knew him.  He is the only Vulcan on my ship and
Chris Pike had nothing but the highest praise for him.  The Vulcan is
the head of the Science department and until Gary's death he had
kept pretty much to himself.  Now he's also my executive officer as
well.

Deep down though, I have this gut feeling that Bones spoke to him.
That  doesn't surprise me.  McCoy's one man who just can't keep his
nose out of other people's affairs, if he thinks he can really
help.  I guess, in a way, that's why I love him too.  He's certainly
taken the place of my father, or rather, the lack of my father.  Dad
left Mom, Sam and me when I was barely thirteen years old.

Like I said, Spock came forward and asked if I would like a game of
chess.  The first couple of times I said no.  You see, chess used to
be the  game I played with Gary.  A week went by and when Spock asked
me to have dinner with him, I said yes.  I didn't mean to say yes.
It was an automatic reply.  After I had time to think what I'd said I
couldn't very well go back on my word.  I never have and I wasn't
about to start now.

That night . . .  er . . .  day Spock called at my door for dinner.
We ate at the officers' mess.  Played a couple of games of chess.
We both won one and tied the third.  Then he walked me back to my
quarters and said goodnight.  I thought it was strange way for a
Vulcan to behave as he had never done anything like this with anyone
else.

On any ship the 'grape vine' was the illegal phone line.  One always
knew  what was going on with members of the crew.  Spock had made the
top of the list several times.  I guess it's because he is the
first alien that many had met outside of the academy.  As long as no
real harm is being done, I let it continue.  Besides, it's one way of
'spying'  without really spying on my crew.  As I said earlier, being
in deep space can have its drawbacks.  Harmless little romances, as
long as they stayed that way, spiced up everyone's life and prevented
a lot from  going 'space happy'.

Something I know Bones is grateful for . . .

Being the captain, I have to remain above this sort of thing.   Well,
anyway, over dinner one night Bones said it was too bad that a private
line couldn't be linked between the officers for a bit of 'fun'.  I
knew he was teasing but our resident Vulcan wouldn't know a tease if
it bit him on the end of his Vulcan nose.

I'll be damned if Spock didn't take McCoy's words to heart.  Two days
later Spock announced, at dinner, that he had implemented a code
enabling us officers to have our own private  gripe . . . er . . .
grape line going.  My only problem was, since there are only
forty-four officers, could we actually have a line going.  Spock
posted a note via E-mail to every officer announcing the pre-codes.
I was overwhelmed by the response.

Two weeks later, after dinner actually, I would have liked to have a
game of chess with Spock but he said he was tied up with an
experiment.  One that was vital he was there for.  We made
arrangements for another night.  Bones had already made plans to
have a few drinks with Scotty.  And I didn't feel like tying one on.
So I returned to my quarters.  I could  always make a dent or two in
my usual pile of paperwork.  By the time I got to my desk the
com-link was  flashing.  It was telling me I had a message waiting.

One press of a button and the screen was alive.  In big bold letters
the message "ARE YOU ALONE?" flashed at me.

I typed "yes, then hello."  I was hoping he or she would give a
name or something.

"How are you feeling?" were the next words.

Okay, I said to myself.  Maybe it won't be a dull night after
all.  I felt like having a bit of fun so I typed, "Horny."

We sparred back and forth for a few minutes.

Then it asked if I was really 33 years old and would I consider
going on a date with someone older.  I also thought I had a very
bold crew person on board.  One who was not afraid to  take chances.

That got me thinking.  Who of my officers was older than me?  The
only  two  I could think of right away were Bones and Scotty.  No,
that's not quite  true there is Finney, in engineering; Giotto, in
security; Kyoto in astrophysics and Pamela something-or-other, a
historian.  She is McGivers' replacement.  Naw, it couldn't be her.
She has the hots for Scotty.  Everyone  knows that.  Not that Scotty
would give her the time of day.  I've seen the way he looks at Uhura.

I reread the message on the screen.  What female was older than me?
But then again why limit myself too just the opposite sex?

So I tried to get a bit more data on whom my mystery writer was.

No matter what I asked, the questions always turned to sex.  How
often did I like it?  Where did I enjoy it the most?  Did I like to
fantasize?  Did I prefer the 'fairer sex' or was I turned on by a
'real' man?  Now I began to wonder if  a junior crew member had
broken through Spock's code.  Just to be sure I called Spock.

He said it was unlikely but not an impossibility.  But to be on the
safe side I should turn off my computer till he had chance to check
it.  I thought about it.  I had actually reached for the switch but I
just couldn't do it.  My curiosity had been piqued.  So I began .
. .

Me:  What do you want?

Other:  I want your ass.

Me:  What!?

Other:  I'm told you have soft baby-like skin.

Me:  I beg your pardon?

Other:  I'd like to feel it for myself, to see if other people have
exaggerated.

Me:  What!  Er . . .  Who said that?!

Other:  I have heard it from several sources.  In fact, I'm told it's
not just your bottom that is baby  soft.

Me:  What!

Other:  Does that mean I don't get to feel it?

Me:  YES!

Other:  If I can't feel it, can I see it?

Me:  Definitely NOT!

I was tempted to turn it off and don't really know why I didn't.

Other: Did you know that just watching you, arouses me?

Me:  What?

Other:  Are you sure you don't want to play?  I'm very good at all
types of games.  I could make it a very electrifying night.

Me:  (A cute answer, I thought. I wondered how far he/she/it was
willing to go.  So I typed) When?

Other:  How about tonight?  Interested?

Me:  (I wondered which one of us would chicken out first,)  Sounds
good.

Other  How about midnight?

Me:  OK?  Where?

Other:  The storage room at the back on C-deck.

Me:  Which one?  There are several.

Other:  The one at the back of the iso-lab.  I'll have everything
prepared.

I'll just bet, I thought.  I wasn't sure which one of us was crazier.
The iso-lab storage area was off limits to most personnel.  It was
also where Bones stored the contagious viruses in vitro.  It was
definitely not a place I was going near.

---

The next night my computer was blinking.

Other: You didn't show.  Did you get cold feet?

Me:  Who is this?

Other:  You'll never know until you decide to come.

Me:  I don't think the iso-lab storage area is safe.

Other:  It's a lot safer than your own bed. And nicer too.  I have all
these wonderful toys you created and I can't wait to try on you.  I
have been informed by many that you like to play rough.

Me:  So you're really horny, huh?

Other: If you mean, "do I want to come?" Then yes, I'm horny.  I think
you are too.

I closed the computer right away and called Spock again.  I was told
he was in the iso-unit.  He was asked if it was important.  I said
no.  I tried Bones but he was conveniently with Scotty again and I
began to wonder what the hell was going on.

---

The third night it happened again.

Me:  Who IS this?  (I was getting a bit annoyed)

Other:  The only way you'll find that out is if you come.  But then
you did come once already tonight, didn't you?

Me:  I don't want to continue playing this game with you if you can't
identify yourself ----

I didn't get to finish typing.

Other:  Then you will never know what you missed or who I am, or how
good I can make you feel.  It's your loss, Sweet Cheeks.

Well, of all the nerve! I immediately closed down the computer.  That
will put an end to it.

Two months passed before the unknown typist surfaced again.

Other:  Hello, Sweet Cheeks.  Did you miss me?

Me:  Who is this?

Other:  The one who knows your hidden secret . . .  Your deepest
passion . . .   The alias name . . .

Me:  (I didn't let him finish.  I broke in with) My what?

Ah ha, I had him now.  There was only one person who knew about my
alias name.  All I had to do was figure out how Bones still knew I
wrote those for those x-rated magazines.  I'd thought I'd been so
careful.  I had gone as far as putting a secret password on each
file.

Other:  Playing coy are we, Sweet Cheeks?

Me:  Who the hell are you?

Other:  If you use your brain you already know the answer to that.
And you know where to find me.

My screen went black.  Enough was enough!

I called Spock and had him trace the last "grape-line" entry on my
computer.  As I expected, nothing turned up.  Next I called Bones and
thoroughly grilled him.

"Jim, I didn't think you did that any more.  Thought you gave it up
when  you left the academy.  Don't tell me you're still at it?"

I denied the whole thing. "Of course not."  I wasn't going to admit
to  him that I had never stopped.

For another two months it was quiet.  Spock was with me when it
happened again.

Other:  Hiding with the Vulcan won't do you any good, Sweet Cheeks.
He doesn't  know you like I  do.  He doesn't know how you like to
be cuddled, caressed and kissed.  Your Vulcan doesn't know how to
light the fire in your Human soul.  But I do.---

I reached for the button but Spock stopped me.  "Let it continue."

"Why?" I asked.  Wondering what Spock was really up to.

"Because, Jim, the source can only be the computer itself.  I've
checked every single relay system and back up.  There cannot be any
tampering.  I set a trap that would have sent the caller into a
continuous loop."

I decided it sounded logical so I 'played along' as Spock suggested.

Me:  You seem to know me intimately.

Other:  Of course.  I am with you every day.  Who better to know what
you prefer?

Me:  And just what is that?

Other:  You like your lovemaking slow, yet fiery.  If you had come to
me that night, I would have made such love to you. I would have
caressed every nerve ending your body had and had you begging for
more.  I know just how much pressure to apply to your nipples to
make them erect and hard.  I know when it's the best time to suckle
them.  It's while your penis is being caressed and milked.

I gulped.  Suddenly my quarters had gotten awfully hot.

Other:  I know you always did, and still do, get aroused by reading
graphic material.  Just think how much better you would feel,
having that experience instead of reading about it.  Oh, Sweet Cheeks,
you ARE excited, aren't you?  You're BP just rose twenty points.  I
bet ten of those points went right to your groin.  I know you're
hard with one drop of wetness leaking through the slit.  But I
want you rock hard and hot.  Hot enough at want more than just your
hand to masturbate.  Oh don't be so surprised.  I know all about
those little wishes.  I know how much you dream of being undressed
and put over a lover's knee.  My my, that does excite you doesn't it?
Your breathing just increased.  And then there's that beautiful bulge
in your pants.  Makes me want to reach out and touch it.  Why hide a
beautiful piece of maleness like that?  It should be on display,
something to be worshiped and adored.

I was getting very hot, very fast, and in front of Spock of all
people.  I  turned to Spock and pleaded, "Let me turn it off, please."

"Why?  It sounded to me like it was just getting to the 'good'
parts."

"Spock!"  I looked at him.  He was enjoying this.

"I really think this has gone on long enough."

"Perhaps you are right, Jim."

"Of course I'm right."

"Still . . . "

"Spock, what the hell's wrong with you?"

"With me?  Nothing."  He took my hand and pulled me to the sleeping
area.

"Spock!  What's with you?  You've been acting strange all evening."

"You," he replied calmly.

"Me?  How?"

"I will not permit you to tease me any longer."

"Tease . . . ?  Wha . . . what the hell are you talking about?"  I
tried to pull my hand free but he just held it tighter.  "How the
hell do I tease you?"

"You really don't know, do you?"

"Spock, I'm really tired of these twenty questions.  If you have a
point, please make it."

He took my hand and put it against his manhood.  "This is my pain.
The pain I bear every night watching you make love to yourself, then
cry my name in the heat of your passion."

I was flabbergasted.  "You watch me?"

"It is most difficult to stay away when part of me cries out in
need."

"What?  What do you mean, 'part of you'?"

"It's a long story, as McCoy would say."

"And we have all night and then some,"  I reminded him.  "Star
charting is not all that important that they need both of us on the
bridge.  Now, start talking."

He let go of my hand and put both his hands on my upper arms and
pulled  me to him.  His kiss was hot, sweet and left me breathless.
His deep voice whispered in my ear.  "Did you do as you promised?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"  I didn't promise him
anything.

"Do you still wear that non-regulation, blue, silk, g-string
underwear?"

I gulped again.  How the hell does he know about my one vice?

Quickly Spock slid his hand inside the back of my uniformed pants.
His  breath was hot against my neck.  His hand had a good feel of my
almost naked bottom.  "Oh, Jim, you do.  I can't wait to unwrap the
rest of my gift to get at what's inside."

"Spock!"  I said trying to break free.  It didn't work.  We ended in a
tangle of arms and legs on the floor.

"Captain . . . Jim.  Aren't we a bit overdressed to be playing this
game?"

"Spock!"  I yelled and found myself sprawled over his lap.  He had my
pants below my ass.  All that stood between me and the Vulcan was a
thin band of silk around my hips with another one disappearing
between my ass cheeks.

His hand quickly made contact.  My skin was already tingling.  It
wasn't long before I was on fire.

"I was right all along.  You do possess the softest set of baby
cheeks in  the Universe.  And to think they are all mine."

"WHAT!"

The Vulcan turned me, sat me on his lap, and removed my pants all in
one  smooth maneuver.

"If I'd have known, you enjoy being man handled as much as this I'd
have  done it long ago." He looked directly at my groin.  My satin
underwear were not only bulging, they were wet.  "Yes, I am most
pleased with my results."

I hugged him.  "Spock, it was you all along, wasn't it?"

"No Jim.  It was not I.  However, I did learn quite a lot about you."

"What do you mean?"

"My computer terminal was activated every time you received one of
those incoming messages.  I have seen and read all of them.  All six
months' worth."

"Spock.  I only started getting the calls five months ago."

"Really?"

"Mmm?" this had me thinking.

"And why did you tell McCoy you stopped writing those x-rated
stories?"

"How do you know about those?"  I blushed.

"Jim, or should I you 'Crystal' or 'Cee' or maybe 'Mephistopheles'?"

Suddenly I felt sick.  It was almost as if Mom had caught me with my
hand in the cookie jar.

"How . . . how did you know about that?"

"If I'm to be the continued source of your inspiration, the least you
could do is write from the proper perspective.  As in, on the
receiving end."

"Oh."  What else could I say?  I never once thought he'd find out
that I'd used my daydream as the basis for a story.

"However, I do have one request."

(Oh oh, here it comes).

"From now on, I intend to occupy almost all of your free time.  That
leaves you with very little time to fantasize or write.  From what I
have read so far, your imagination is already over active when it
comes to subject of sex.  Your position within Starfleet will be in
jeopardy should you continue. Therefore, I strongly suggest that you
terminate your agreement with your publishers.  And  do it before
Starfleet finds out.  Also, it will not look well if your crew
discovers that their captain is the creative writer behind their
favourite fantasies."

Then he kissed me.

"Though I admit, your inspiration has inspired a great many
individuals.  It has also given me an insight on how to please you."

"Spock you don't think I actually enjoy doing everything I wrote, do
you?"

"I have never known you to be a liar.  Nor I do not wish for you
to start now.  Beside, you have more important things to think about.
Think of the family you are joining.  Surely, you consider the
monarchy of Vulcan would be above such inconsequential matters."

"Spock, I'm not sure I follow."

"On more than one occasion you have made it known that you would like
to commence a relationship with me.  Have you not?"

"Yes," I stuttered.

"And do you not think the First Family of Vulcan is worth retiring
your hobby?'

"Yeah, I guess."  Boy, am I confused.  I think it showed on my face
because Spock explained further.

"Jim, I have something of a secret to tell you."

I gulped.  This seemed to be a night for discovering secrets.  I
peeked out of the corner of my eyes. "You do?"

"Yes.  It is not on my record for obvious reasons.  I am not just the
son of an ambassador.  Sarek, my father is crown prince.  Should he
out live T'Pau he will become Vulcan's monarch.  If something should
happen to him-"

Kirk finished for him. "You're next in line."

"Correct.  And since you have accepted to be my bondmate, you will
have obligations which go along with the position and they do not
include being a 'porn' writer."

"What?"  My world, as I knew it, just came crashing down around  me.
"Wait, wait just a second here.  Let me see if I got this straight.
Spock, did you just propose to me?"

"I did."

"And your parents . . . er . . . father is not just an ambassador?"

"That is correct."

"And your mother?"

"She is my Father's wife."

"Then the leader-?"

"T'Pau is my grandmother."

"Oh . . . "

"Jim, is something wrong?  I got the impression from you earlier that
you would be pleased if I was more 'Human'."

"I never said that."

"You have.  Many times, in your sleep."

"I did?"

"What has you distracted?"

"If I accept your offer what exactly will that make me?"

"What you are now, a starship captain."

"Spock, you just said-"

The Vulcan cut me off.  "Jim, I am well aware of what I just said.
You will retain your Starfleet title while we are in Starfleet.
When, and only when, we decide to return to Vulcan, and while Father
is alive, you  will be known as my lifemate.  When Father dies, I
will assume the legal title of heir apparent until I am inaugurated
as Vulcan's new monarch.  On that day, you will attain the title of
'Consort to the Monarch'"

"In other words, you're Royalty."

"Correct.  Jim, we have long time until any of these changes are
made.  I see no reason why we cannot have a very rich and fulfilled
life now.  After all, you have given me a great many ideas to put
into practice."

"You wouldn't dare?"

"It would be most unwise and foolish to think I would not.  I also
perceived an idea from one of your earlier stories.  You remember, the
story where the birthday boy gets a special gift?"

"You wouldn't?"

I was over his knee so quick I didn't know what hit me until I'd
received the first dozen birthday slaps.  By the time Spock had got
to twenty I was sore.  By thirty, I was past sore, I was aroused.
When Spock had finished administering the last three I was ready to
come.

"Yes, Jim, you were right.  You do have the softest cheeks in the
galaxy.  Oh, one other thing - " He reached into the drawer beside
the top of the  bed and  gave me a small decorated box.

"Happy Birthday, Jim."

I didn't know whether to kiss him or throttle him.  I will say one
thing,  my life from this moment on will never be dull.  I threw my
arms around him and gave him the wettest kiss I could.

"Oh, Lover, you're the best."

"Did you expect anything less, Beloved?"

---

The End