The BLTS Archive - The Sarah Vignettes: Sweet Surrender
by Sileya (sileyathesultry@gmail.com)

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Disclaimers: All hail mighty Paramount. They own it all, I just aspire
to. The inspiration for this vignette was the song "Sweet Surrender"
by Sarah McLachlan. She owns the lyrics, I just stuck most of them in
some sort of order in here.

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Tom lay exhausted, flushed, in his lover's arms. His gleaming blue
eyes seek some kind of reassurance, searching for an answer. "But what
will people say, 'Kotay?" His arms tighten possessively around
Chakotay's waist as they lie atop the mussed sheets.

"Any opinion other than yours doesn't mean much." Chakotay shrugs.
"Doesn't mean anything at all," he reassures his new lover, someone
he'd never dreamed Tom Paris could have been. He smiles gently.

Tom sighs and snuggles up against Chakotay. "I can't believe my luck.
All these years of loneliness, and desperate fumblings... that life,
the one I've left behind... it was like a cold room compared to the
warmth of your arms, 'Kotay."

Chakotay smiles and hugs Tom close. One hand snakes up to brush back
Tom's rumpled hair. "All the way back to when we were Maquis, all that
time, I'd never have thought that we would have been so perfect
together. You've ruined me, Tom. I've crossed the last line, and I
can't return. It can't go back like it was. I won't let it. You mean
too much." Chakotay's eyes darken with old memories. "When I think
of..." His voice breaks a bit, "Seska..." Tom's arms squeeze Chakotay
closely for support. "Where every choice I made, every step I took in
faith... she betrayed me, Tom, led me astray, away from my heart's
home. And can't take it again. " His eyes look solemnly down into the
sea blue depths of Tom's.

Tom looks just as seriously into Chakotay's eyes, his own emotions
shining brightly. "My surrender... sweet surrender it is... is all
that I have to give, 'Kotay. But it means everything to me to
surrender my trust... and my love... to you."

Tom sits up, obviously taking this commitment seriously. "After all
I've done over the years, you take me in, no questions asked. I find
that incredible." He sighs. "And after that prison horror, twice even,
and I couldn't stand the thought of another man touching me... you
stripped away the ugliness that surrounded me, and I've been born
again in the light of your love." His words come so softly, as if he's
afraid Chakotay will leave upon hearing them. Tom reaches up to
lightly caress Chakotay's tattoo, voice wondering. "Are you an angel?
Am I already that gone into dreams?"

Chakotay chuckles and gathers Tom close up against him, laying a light
kiss upon his lips, which in turn moves down to his chin, the stubbled
curve of his neck, his erect nipples. His voice roughens as desire
again grows in them both. "I only hope I won't disappoint you, since
I'm down here on my knees." Chakotay slides further down to pleasure
his lover.

Tom's breaths grow short and quick as Chakotay expertly brings him to
a shattering scream of sweet surrender. "All I am... I surrender to
you..." Tom manages between breaths.

Chakotay licks his lips after rising from between Tom's legs. "And a
sweet surrender it was indeed, lover."

Tom sighs in wonder. "I just don't understand... the touch of your
hand is all it takes to make me shiver and scream... I never thought
I'd be the one to fall for another man," he admits, eyes warmly
appraising his lover's face.

Later they leave Tom's quarters for the mess hall, walking closely
together. Tom's hand keeps brushing Chakotay's hip. Once they gather
their trays and sit at a table, Chakotay shares a thought with Tom. "I
never thought I'd miss the little things... a look, a smile... I
missed everything and didn't know it."

Tom smiles warmly and reaches over to squeeze Chakotay's hand. A
clatter comes from nearby, and they both look up to see Harry and
B'Elanna staring at them, B'Elanna's tray splattered on the floor.

Chakotay looks to Tom and shrugs. "Doesn't mean much."

Tom grins and answers, "Doesn't mean anything at all."

They continue their meal in companionable silence, Tom's thoughts set
in his mind. "The life I left behind... I'm never going back. It was
like a cold, solitary room... compared to the warmth of 'Kotay's
love."

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The End