Title: Visiting Hours
Author/pseudonym: Candy Apple 
Rating: E-
Pairings: J/B

Status: NEW
Date: 5-28-98
Series/Sequel: Second story in the "New Beginnings" series.  (Sequel to
"Midnight Confessions")

Disclaimers: Pet Fly owns the guys and The Sentinel.  No money being
made.  Just for fun.

Summary: A look at visiting hours during Blair's hospital stay.

Warnings: Just some h/c and a little smarm.  


VISITING HOURS

by 

Candy Apple


     Every time Blair had opened his eyes in the last twenty-four
hours, he had seen Jim's smile, and felt the gentle caress of his partner's
hand on his hair.  This time, he focused on a different figure sitting in
the chair next to the bed, reading a magazine.  Her sixth sense must
have picked up on the feeling of two eyes focused on her, because
Megan looked up from her reading and smiled.

     "Hi there, Sandy.  You've had quite a nap today," she said
pleasantly.

     "I seem to have quite a nap every day lately."  Blair yawned and
then smiled a little self-consciously.  "Sorry about that."
     
     "Don't be.  You've earned a rest.  You gave us a good scare
there."

     "Welcome to the club."  Blair cast his eyes around the room. 
"Where's Jim?"

     "I hope he's resting, but my best guess is that he's bolting down
something greasy and disgusting at WonderBurger.  Captain Banks sent
him home after he almost passed out in the hall--oh, don't worry--he's
all right.  Just a bit tired, and it seems eating slipped his mind
completely.  Brown was forced to administer an emergency dose of
jam donuts and coffee before we sent him home," she concluded with
a smile.

     "He's been here the whole time, hasn't he?"

     "Every minute.  He put up the balloons in his spare time." 
Megan nodded toward the various clusters of bright colors that were
fastened in the corners where the ceiling and walls met.  "The staff
wouldn't let anyone bring flowers in since this is a critical care wing,
but you know Jim.  He doesn't take to rules very easily."

     "You've noticed."  Blair chuckled a little, though even that
seemed like a lot of work.  

     "He said the balloons would be more at your eye level anyway
while you were lying on your back looking up."

     "I'm trying to picture Jim blowing all those up."

     "It was quite a picture.  Rafe worked on the project with him for
a while.  The streamers were my idea.  Definitely needed a woman's
touch."

     "You helped Jim get Alex?"

     "We all did.  I'm afraid we looked a bit like an angry lynch mob,
but you'll be relieved to know she is in custody without incident."

     "I can't believe it'll all be over that simply."  Blair sighed and
laughed a little when he caught sight of one big mylar balloon that was
a giant yellow smiley face.  It was tied to the foot of the bed.  "Who
brought that in?"

     "Jim did--right before he left.  He thought you'd get a laugh out
of it.  He got it at the gift shop downstairs."  Megan picked up her purse
and pulled out a small box.  "Which reminds me.  I brought you a little
something.  I guess you'd call it a 'welcome back' present."  She held
the box easily in Blair's line of vision and removed the cover.  Inside
was a leather corded bracelet with a few richly-colored beads on it.

     "Wow.  Is this what I think it is?"  Blair asked, fingering the
beads.

     "It was handmade by a Koori Elder.  My dad gave it to me when I was 
accepted into the officer exchange program.  It's a good luck charm of sorts."

     "It was a present from your dad.  I can't take that."

     "Sure you can.  I want you to have it."  She took it out of the
box and fastened it on Blair's pale wrist, then patted his hand.  "We're
all very glad you're still with us, Sandy.  It was touch and go for a while
there."

     "It's really beautiful."  Blair moved his arm up a bit to look at it,
but soon let the arm return to the bed, tired by the effort.

     "The doctor said you were doing very well.  You'll probably get
to go home soon."  Megan paused, as if she'd said something wrong. 
Blair realized she probably didn't know Jim had already moved his
stuff back into the loft.  

     "Maybe Jim'll get some sleep then," he responded, smiling. 
"I'm moving back home when I get released."

     "I'm glad to hear that.  I'm not terribly surprised, either," she
concluded, smiling fondly.  Then she looked down a moment.  "He is
very devoted to you.  I don't think he would have survived this if
you...if things had turned out differently."  She smiled again, as if
remembering to keep up her "cheer up the patient" mission.  "But we
don't have to worry about that now."

     "I'm worried about it," Blair said honestly.  "I don't want to
think that Jim couldn't make it without me.  I mean, it makes me feel
good in one way, but I don't want something happening to me to be the
end for him."

     "You shouldn't worry about it, Sandy.  You have enough on
your plate getting better, and Jim's doing just fine now.  You have
plenty of time to talk things through with Jim when you're feeling
better."

     "I guess you're right."  Blair made the effort to bring his arm
back up to look at his new bracelet.  "Thanks again.  It's really
beautiful."

     "You're welcome.  Think you might be ready for a bit of a nap
now?"

     "I'm kind of sleepy," Blair admitted.

     "Tell you what.  I'll run along for now.  I'm due in to work in
about an hour anyway.  Jim should be back soon."

     "I'm sure," Blair replied, smiling slightly as he dozed off to
sleep again.

********

     Jim arrived back at the hospital only three hours after he'd left. 
Showered, shaved and in fresh clothes, he at least looked better than he
had for the last two days, even if he had passed on staying at the loft to
sleep.  He could do that in the chair in Blair's room.

     Blair's room.  He'd spent some more time that afternoon putting
things carefully back in place in Blair's room at the loft.  Thinking back
on pulling the items off the shelves and out of the closet and drawers
was like tearing open a fresh wound.  Part of it had been concern for
Blair's safety, but had part of it been some desire to hurt Blair for what
he had written?  To show him what it felt like to have Jim's friendship
withdrawn as punishment for what Jim had perceived as a betrayal?

     As he pushed the hospital room door open and caught sight of
the sleeping man in the bed there, his black thoughts dissipated.  His
partner's chest rose and fell slowly with the peaceful respiration of
sleep, his face occasionally making one of the little twitches that
sometimes accompany sleep.  Jim moved stealthily up alongside the
bed, not unlike the jaguar that haunted his dreams.  

     "Jim."  The word was said quietly, though with considerable
distress in the tone of voice.  Blair was dreaming.  "Don't...Jim... Don't
want to...go..."

     "Blair.  Chief, it's me.  You're having a dream," Jim said gently,
lowering the side rail on the bed and sitting on the edge of the mattress. 
"Blair, come on, look at me."  Jim slid his hand alongside Blair's cheek
and carefully turned the agitated face toward him.  "Shhh.  It's okay. 
I'm right here.  Open your eyes, Chief."

     Blair blinked up at him, confused, then his expression faltered
and he reached up weakly for Jim.  The larger man didn't hesitate in
gathering Blair into his arms and pulling him up gently so he sat on the
edge of the bed with Blair resting against him, tired arms clinging
around Jim's middle.  

     "Bad dream?"  he asked softly, pressing Blair's head against his
shoulder and rocking slightly.

     "Yeah."

     "It's okay.  I've got you now."  Jim paused, letting Blair relax
again.  "Do you want to tell me about the dream?"  he asked.

     "I need you to tell me something," Blair replied quietly.

     "Anything, Chief."

     "How is it that anything's better between us--really?  I mean,
before...before I...got hurt, you said you couldn't trust me anymore, and
I thought..."  Blair's voice broke slightly but he regained it quickly, "I
thought you were all through with me."

     "I was wrong."

     "But are you just glad I'm not dead?  Because if that's all it is,
then we don't have anything real," Blair concluded, a distinct waver in
his voice.

     "Of course I'm glad you're not dead.  But there's more to it than
that.  I was angry, upset, and yeah, I felt betrayed.  But I know now that
you tried to tell me once about Alex and I cut you off, and I listened to
your tapes, and you explained a lot of your motivations there.  You
weren't trying to trick me.  You were trying to handle two people who
both trusted you in a way that didn't betray that trust.  As much as I like
to think I'm the only one who has your loyalty, it makes sense you'd
protect Alex too.  At least when you thought she was a good person
who needed your help."

     "I was afraid of what would happen--I knew you were acting
strangely, and then things fell apart between us...it just got so mixed
up, and I didn't know exactly how to handle it best."  Blair's arms
tightened around Jim's middle.  "I never meant to hurt you, or to betray
you."

     "I know that now."

     "I'll do whatever it takes to earn your trust back.  I know I'm not
worthy of it all at once, but I'll make it up to you.  I'll be a good partner
if you give me another chance.  I promise."

     "You *were* a good partner."  Jim sighed and rubbed Blair's
back gently.  "I was upset, and I said some things purposely to hurt
you."

     "But you don't trust me anymore," Blair said miserably.

     "Only with my life.  Blair, you gave me my life back."

     "You said you didn't need me," came the broken response.  Jim
tried to recall their conversation, something that he'd worked at
repressing since Blair's brush with death.  He recalled saying something
cutting about not needing Blair to define who he was.  That had been a
lie and he'd known it when he said it.  But it had accomplished its
purpose at the time.  It had hurt Blair deeply.

     "I lied," Jim replied simply, resting his head atop Blair's,
holding him a bit more tightly.  "Sometimes..."

     "What?"  Blair asked, sniffling a little.

     "It's stupid."

     "Tell me, please."

     "Sometimes it feels like...sometimes it feels like my heart beats
in your body.  So when yours stopped, it was like mine couldn't go on
either.  So I need you a hell of a lot, Chief."

     "You kissed me when I woke up," Blair said quietly against
Jim's chest.

     "Was that okay?"  he asked, smiling a little and stroking Blair's
hair.

     "What did it mean?"

     "It meant I love you."

     "How?"

     "I don't kiss many people on the lips.  It means you're special,
my little guppy."

     "How?"

     "You're not going to make this easy, are you?"  Jim asked, his
voice broken with a little chuckle.  Blair just shook his head from his
hiding place against Jim's chest.  "How would you feel if...if I wanted
to be more than just friends?"

     "You mean, like, together?  I mean, us?  That way?"  Blair
pulled back a little to look at Jim, but soon realized he wasn't strong
enough to hold his own for long without lying down or flopping back
against Jim.  He much preferred the latter.

     "Yeah, *that way*."

     "I'd like it."

     "You've been with a guy before?"

     "No.  But I never shut the door on any possibility.  I've never
met one I wanted to be with that way...until you."  Blair was quiet a
few minutes, feeling almost able to sleep as he listened to Jim's heart
thumping under his ear.  Another possibility made him snap awake
again.  "How about you?"

     "Never thought about it before.  I've thought a lot about it over
the last couple years, though."

     "You're sure it's not just some reaction to my close call?"

     "I'm sure.  This feels very real, Chief."

     "For me too."

     "We don't have to rush into anything.  You need to get your
strength back, get back on your feet again.  Then we have to sit down,
rationally, and talk about this dissertation situation.  I want to feel
comfortable with what you're doing, but I don't want to keep you from
doing it.  If that makes sense."

     "It makes a lot of sense."

     "Time to lie back, buddy."

     "I like it here," Blair responded, smiling and hugging Jim more
tightly.  "And I love the balloons."

     "Oh, those," Jim responded, laughing a little.  "Too drab in here
before.  Too sterile."  Jim gave Blair one more squeeze.  "Come on. 
You need your rest, Chief."  Jim moved down with Blair, still holding
him until the bed came up to support the smaller man's back. 
Straightening, Jim smiled down at his partner.  "We're going to be
okay, Blair."

     "Could we try that kissing thing again?  You know, just to be
sure I really liked it?"

     "More research, huh?"

     "Yeah, that's it," Blair replied, grinning.

     Jim moved forward and sealed his mouth gently over Blair's,
feeling the warm, responsive mouth moving under him that had been
still, stiff and cold as Blair lay near death beside the fountain.  The kiss
deepened, and he slid both arms around Blair again as the other man's
arms came up around his neck.

     An exaggerated clearing of the throat made Jim jump a bit,
pulling away from Blair and letting the younger man drop back on the
bed in all his swollen-lipped glory.

     "I guess I should knock first," Simon stated, taking in the
scenario in front of him with a shocked expression.  

     Blair expected Jim to make a fumbling apology and try to
explain.  Instead, he was graced with one of those million-dollar
Ellison smiles.  Jim was looking into Blair's eyes when he replied to
Simon, "That would probably be a good idea from now on, Sir."

********
The End for now. :-)