Campfire Dialogue

"Pinch me. I must be dreaming!"

"Oh, stop."

"No...no...you cooked! Oh boy, you've really got to pinch me 'cause I'm either dreaming or hallucinating. Maybe it was those berries I picked for lunch."

"Ha, ha. Funny. Now stop!"

"Well then, what's the occasion?"

"Do I need an occasion?"

"Uh...yeah."

"All right. All right. There's an occasion."

"Ah ha! Knew it! Let's see. What day is it?"

"It's the 24th."

"It's already the 24th? Wow. Okay...okay. Let me guess. Ha! We graduated from the Academy a year ago this week. That's it. Right? You wanted to celebrate a year of being in the hero-business."

"Uh...yeah. That's a good occasion. Let's celebrate that."

"You're right, buddy. It is a good occasion. We've got a lot to celebrate. We've done so much good, but I'm guessing here that's not the occasion you had in mind."

"No, but it is a good occasion and we should celebrate it. Here. Have some wine."

"You bought us wine to have with dinner?!? This MUST be a really special day then. What'd you cook, rabbit?"

"Quail."

"Quail! Oh nooooooo!"

"Get up off the ground. That's not funny."

"Yes it is."

"No Herc, it's not funny to pretend to faint. That's so last year."

"Okay partner. There. I got up. Now, let's have some of that wine. Wait! What does it say here on the wineskin? 'Imported from Tuscany.' By the gods! You bought imported Roman wine? This must be a colossally important occasion. Either that or you've lost your mind."

"My mind is just fine, thank you very much. Here. Taste the bird and tell me if it's ready."

"Ooooh...hot! Hey, that's pretty good and yeah, it's ready."

"Great then. Sit down and let's eat. There's bread and olives over there next to your blanket. Oh, and there's some baklava for dessert too."

"Bring the quail and come over and sit with me."

"Okay. There's the quail and here are a couple of apples for later."

"This is really, really delicious. I think I'm gonna force you to cook more often."

"There you go...trying to be funny again. Like you could force me to do anything, and don't look at me like that, Mr. Muscle-bound Demigod. You know it's true."

"Mmmmmm. Yup this is good. So, tell me, what IS this special occasion?"

"After we eat, okay?"

"No...I can't wait. Tell me now. What's the occasion?"

"After."

"Now or I'll just have to throw my leg over you like this. Then wrap my left arm around you like this. Then with my right hand free to tickle..."

"Okay, okay. Stop! You win!"

"Say it again but louder this time."

"Okay... okay. You win. Are you happy now?"

"Mr. Muscle-bound Demigod wins again. Yes I'm happy. Now what's the occasion?"

"It's um....it's the day I...um...tellyouIloveyou."

"What did you say? Was that Greek? I couldn't understand a work you said."

"I said it'sthedayItellyouIloveyou."

"The dayItellyouIloveyou? The dayItellyouIloveyou? The day-I-tell-you-I-love-you. Oh...oh...me? You love me?"

"Yeah."

"I love you too, buddy."

"No, not like that. Different."

"Different?"

"Yeah, different. I don't 'love you, buddy.' I 'love you, love you."

"Right. And the difference is?"

"The difference is this...and this...and this...and, this. See!"

"Oh yeeaaaahhh...mmmmmmmmm.....big difference. Wait...wait...do that over here. Ahhhhhhhhh. Big difference... big, big difference... Um... wait! You're serious about this... I mean really serious?"

"Uh, yeah."

"No playing around like years ago in mom's barn. You really mean it this time?"

"Yeah. Totally adult-like serious. Are you going to have a problem with that?"

"Nah, no problem unless..."

"Unless what?"

"Unless you don't hurry up and get serious."

"Serious like this? And like this?"

"Yeah....oh, yeah...More!"

"Iolaus?"

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."

"Iolaus, we've been uh... 'busy' for so many hours that we let the campfire burn down to nothing. You're closer. Stir the embers and let's get it going again."

"Can't. Drained. Don't wanna move, Herc. You keep me warm."

"Okay. Iolaus?"

"Yeah Herc."

"You've been keeping some new 'talents' hidden from me that I really, really think I should encourage you to develop further."

"Well I can't develop cooking talents and...um...other talents at the same time. You're gonna have to choose."

"Okay, I'll cook."

"I thought you might say that."

"In fact, I'll cook tomorrow."

"Good, whatcha gonna cook?"

"Rabbit."

"YOU are going to cook rabbit? You don't even like rabbit very much. Why?"

"Well because you do. And anyway, it's a special occasion."

"A special occasion tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"What's the occasion?"

"It's the day I get to tell you I love you, too."