That night, Chakotay started to review the files Kathryn had given him. He got about a third of the way through them before he put the padd down. The file didn't just contain Tom's psych files from Auckland; it contained all of his files since he had been recaptured. From the moment the plan to catch Tom was implemented forward.

He owed Tom an apology. Tom had been set up. Tom had been specifically targeted for being taken. The fact they had also been able to give information to the Cardassians regarding Crazy Horse and the 'Maquis rebel leader Chakotay' at the same time was serendipitous. Chakotay had to smile when he thought of the havoc Tom had wrought on the Alliance when they had taken him. Six security guards, full restraints and round the clock guards on the brig after he had nearly managed to hack the system from the replicator panel. Chakotay would have to get Tom to teach him that little trick.

But then his mood sobered as he read through the Alliance's Doctor's report. Tom had spent time in the sickbay there too. Not for injuries from being taken, but from being beaten, a cranial fracture due to an accident of 'unknown origin' and a myriad of other injuries.

There was even part of an interview with Tom in the brig.

"Listen, Paris, you're an Admiral's kid. Just give us the information you know about Chakotay and the Maquis and you'll get off easy."

"I may be Admiral Paris' son, but I don't agree with what the Federation is doing to those people."

Spirits, Chakotay thought, no wonder Tom had been so defensive when they had met on the bridge of Voyager. Tom had been on Crazy Horse when they had liberated one of his crew from another ship. In fact, Tom had flown the mission. It wasn't a starship, but they had gotten him back. Tom must have been expecting them to try to get him out, too. And, if they hadn't had Cardies all over their ass, Chak probably would have tried to get him too, but he had been too busy trying to keep the Crazy Horse in one piece.

Chakotay could almost smell the smoke from fried systems, with Seska screaming in his ear.

"See what your little gamble cost us, Chakotay? Sure, take a Paris onboard. We can trust a fucking Paris! He's probably already sitting in the VIP quarters quaffing champagne with his Daddy!"

Then as he, Greg and Seska had viewed the Fleet channel, when Tom was sentenced to Auckland.

"HAH!" Seska had retorted. "Like they're sending the brat to Auckland. We wouldn't rate Auckland."

"What do you think, Greg?" Chakotay had asked.

"Auckland, Cap?"

"He's one of us. He's been sentenced. I wouldn't leave any of my crew out there like that."

"Tough, almost impossible. Auckland ain't a Cardie POW camp."

"You aren't seriously considering this are you, Chakotay? By the Prophets, Chakotay, he led the Cardies straight to us. He isn't one of us. It's a set up to get us to come in so they can take another crack at us! Greg, talk to him!"

Chakotay had looked at Greg. He had shrugged. "I agree with Seska. There's no other way they found us that easy, Cap. In my opinion, Paris is a spy."

Chakotay leaned his head back against his couch. Oh, shit.

That night, Chakotay didn't get much sleep. He couldn't get his mind to shut down. Now that he saw the real picture, all the other stuff that had happened in the first few months on Voyager became a whole bunch clearer. After his third trip to the computer, he gave up trying to sleep.

So far he had verified Tom had used a massive number of replicator rations on medical supplies and two regenerators in the first two months after the crews had joined.

When he had questioned several of his crew who looked as if they had been in a fight.

"Just getting some thing's straightened out with Fleet."

Chakotay had perhaps convinced himself that they meant the 'Fleet' crew, but that was Tom's nickname on the Crazy Horse. There were never any reports filed and Chakotay decided that whomever thought it was dealt with.

Tom also replicated a lot of supplies for his quarters. At first it had been decorations and basic needs, then he started replacing things. After reviewing the account, Chakotay suspected if he went into Tom's quarters he wouldn't find anything breakable in there. He also verified Tom had used a rotating set of command locks on his door.

"Commander, I believe you should speak with...your people regarding certain acts of vandalism taking place."

"Have there been complaints filed, Tuvok."

"No, Commander, but there have been incidents of destruction aimed at a particular crew member."

"Any proof it was Maquis?"

"No, however..."

"No complaints and no proof, Tuvok. Give me something hard and I'll deal with it. Vague charges don't cut it."

Finally, he reviewed Tom's activity levels. Chakotay just shook his head. Tom didn't go a lot of places. Holodecks, mess hall, Harry's quarters, a few women's quarters, the bridge, sickbay. Chakotay spent more time in other people's quarters the first six months than Tom did. For the first two weeks, Tom only went to the bridge, his quarters, sickbay and the mess hall. Chakotay tinkered with the idea of not finishing the rest of the report, but he did.

Finally he managed to sleep, but when he woke up, he wasn't rested and remembered something about an animal in the dream. As he got dressed , Chakotay wondered if Tom's nightmares were contagious.

He had the day off, but instead of working on reports, Chakotay booked some holodeck time, took Tom's files and went to sit in the quiet of the woods of Dorvan.

He had gotten through Tom's psych eval in Auckland, and was reviewing his medical reports when his Spirit Guide sat down next to him.

"I'm not meditating, therefore I must be asleep."

"You didn't rest well last night," she replied.

"After reading this, I'll be lucky to sleep for a week," he said, gesturing with the padd.

"He has had a hard life."

"Why? Why has he had to go through this?"

"How do refine metal?"

"Temperature. You raise the heat and it causes the different impurities to float to the top."

"Right." Then his guide took the padd in her mouth and took it from him. She dropped it beside him. "Come with me, Chakotay."

Without question, Chakotay followed his Spirit Guide to a clearing. He saw a pack of wolves. It was a large pack. There was one that sat off to one side. Chakotay watched for several moments, when one of the wolves went over and bit the one by itself.

"The Omega?" he asked his guide. The omega of the pack was the pressure valve for the rest of the pack. It was the last. It ate last, was picked on, beaten up and although essential to a pack, a very sad sight.

"Yes and no," his guide said.

"You have fifteen minutes left."

The computer roused Chakotay. He looked around and realized he had been asleep. He shook his head as he picked up Tom's file from beside him and left the holodeck.

It was a week later before their next counseling session. Chakotay wondered if Tom was going to make it today. They had been dealing with the Delta's finest the day before and Tom had been on the helm a long time.

Chakotay on the other hand spent a lot of time thinking and meditating on how to help Tom. From the best he could tell, Tom's psychiatrist in prison had been right on the mark. Tom's nightmares were caused by Tom's subconscious trying to get out. His chime sounded. This time, Chakotay was in front of his desk when Tom came in.

"Hey, Commander, how are you doing today?" Tom asked, seeming overtly cheerful.

Chakotay knew he was dealing with a false front. "I'm fine and it's Chakotay."

"Right," Tom said, barely breaking stride as he made his way to the couch. "So what are we up to today, Chak?"

Chakotay sat down in the chair in front of his desk. "What's wrong, Tom?"

"Wrong? What makes you think there's something wrong?"

'Gut instinct,' Chakotay thought. "I've been working with you for a while now, Tom. I can tell when you've thrown a facade up. I can't help you if you aren't honest with me."

Tom sighed and slumped back against the couch. "I had a bad night. A really bad night."

"Do you know what caused it?"

"Probably yesterday. I don't sleep well after a battle, especially if it isn't a decisive win."

"Okay. I can understand that. Do you remember what it was about?"

"Sure, Caldek Prime. If I'm nervous about a person, I'm being chased. If it has to do with Voyager, it's Caldek. At least I know what to expect at night."

"Did you try the breathing to get to sleep calmly?"

"I tried, but it didn't work. I was so exhausted I didn't get too far before I fell asleep."

Chakotay nodded. "Maybe you could record it, so you can play it while you sleep. You would still hear it and it might help."

"I'll try it. So, what have you found out?"

"Honestly Tom, your psychiatrist in Auckland was close. We have to deal with the root problem before the dreams will stop."

Tom exhaled harshly.

"What?" Chakotay asked, recognizing signs of irritation.

"Okay, Chakotay, you told me to be honest. So, I'm going to be really honest. Quit with the imperial 'we'. It drives me nuts."

Chakotay paused, thinking about it. "Well, there is a joint aspect here, Tom, but I understand. Please feel free to call me, if I start doing it again."

"Thanks."

"Not a problem. So, now we start the real counseling. When did you start having nightmares, Tom?"

"When I was a little kid. I've always been prone to nightmares."

"Like you had on the planet?"

"Not so violent, but still screaming, full sweat stuff."

"How did your parents deal with it?"

"I remember my mother used to come in and stroke my hair until I fell back asleep; but then my father told her I was old enough to deal with it myself. So from then on, no matter how bad it got after that, I would wake up alone, and have to get myself back to sleep."

Chakotay wasn't surprised. It fit with the pattern he had seen on the planet. When Tom knew someone was with him, he slept calmly. Alone and his own past came to haunt him.

"So, you're saying my nightmares are a way to get attention?" Tom declared angrily, later in the session, turning away from the viewport, angrily.

"Not anymore. As a child, very likely; especially if your parents weren't demonstrative. Now, it's just how you deal with your fears. They're very logical dreams, Tom," Chakotay said, taking a sip off the tea he had gotten them. Tom turned back to look at the stars. "You're worried about Voyager, and how you pilot her. You dream of your worst accident. You think you've messed up personally, you dream of your worst fear. Becker chasing you to try to violate you personally."

Tom mumbled something.

"What?"

"Nothing," Tom replied petulantly.

Chakotay let it go, but he could have sworn Tom muttered something like so when I'm horny, I dream about you.

"So what do we do know?" Tom asked.

Chakotay paused, not wanting to say this, because it sounded so clinical. "You're going to have to tell me about the two bad ones."

"No."

No big surprise there. "Tom, remember on the planet. We talked about everything. Have I told one person what you told me?"

"No, with the exception of the mole on the back of my leg." They both chuckled lightly about that.

"Good point," Chakotay smiled, putting his tea down on the table. "So, if I haven't talked about that stuff, why not trust me with these?"

"Because...because..." Tom started pacing the length of Chakotay's office. His arms were wrapped around his chest. "Because no one knows about those two."

Chakotay just let him pace and work it out for a minute. "Actually, Tom, everyone knows about Caldek Prime and most people suspect what Auckland was like."

"But they don't know the truth, Chakotay. I am the only one that actually knows what happened."

"That's true, but is keeping it locked inside you doing any good, or is it actually ripping you apart one dream at a time?"

Chakotay didn't fear the silence or the accusing stare from Tom. Tom went back to the viewport, but when he started speaking, his voice was just above a whisper, as if saying these words out loud would cause some catastrophic accident.

"Caldek was such...so bad. Chak, I still hear them scream. I was just..."

Tom dropped his head against the view port frame, his arms were crossed over his stomach and he looked like he was going to be sick. Chakotay didn't move or speak. This had to be at Tom's pace. Tom took a deep breath and turned to face Chakotay.

"We were goofing off," Tom started. Then he stopped and then almost in a whisper, he admitted it. "We weren't supposed to be doing that move. The Star Burst...all the instructors told us not to, but...we did, and they're dead."

Chakotay held his breath. He had gone over the files looking for anything Tom might have revealed about this, but he only found Tom's official statement.

"We just wanted to be the first team to do it, since the other accident, and all we did was repeat the exact same mistake, and three people died because of it."

Tom whispered something.

"What?" Chakotay asked quietly.

"And I was the one who suggested it. I did it." Tom pushed himself away from the wall and stalked towards him. "Me. I. Tom Paris. Pilot Supreme. Oldest member of the team. I did it. They're dead because of me!" Tom poked himself in the chest. "I killed them, Chak. I killed them and then someone, God, the Spirits, whoever decided to make me not only live with it for the rest of my life, but made me listen to them die!" Tom stormed to the other side of the room. "Every time, it's the same thing. I hear them screaming. I hear the warning alarms going off. I try to pull up. I hear the other pilots screaming at me. I try, Chakotay. Gods, I tried, but I couldn't do it. I can't pull out of it, and because of that, my three best friends are dead!"

There was silence in the room. Chak had been in the Academy when the last accident had happened. It had sent the entire Academy into mourning. No one had lived through that one. He stared at the floor.

"What no salves for my conscience, Chak? No, accidents happens, lessons learned?" Tom interrogated. "C'mon, Chak. How do we get rid of the nightmares?"

Chakotay allowed the silence to build. Finally, Tom relaxed, and Chakotay felt like he would be heard if he spoke. "I remember when the team before you tried. I was at the academy. When they made the initial break, someone hit that same gravity well you did, but not like you must have. They managed to pull out, but when they did, their course was erratic. They hit another ship and ignited the fuel too soon, and the other ships exploded. Everyone died, but it was being televised and their screams were broadcast. The entire lounge was silent, except for a few whispered prayers and gasps. It was horrible, Tom. The Academy went into mourning for a week. I'll never forget the screams of the pilot that pulled out, or the others as they realized what was going to happen."

"Yeah, I watched those tapes. They bounced off it and came back at the other ships. I tried going under it, so when I came out of the turn, I would miss the gravity well, but...I don't know. I should have missed it. That's why I took that position, I thought I could get around it. I thought I had it beat. I even had run sims about hitting the well, but it didn't work, Chak. Somehow, even with all the planning we did, it didn't work." Tom sat back down on the couch.

"Maybe that's why they outlawed the move. Maybe the well shifted position. Maybe all the other times they had done it, it was just dumb luck they didn't crash."

Tom shrugged. "I don't know. It was so hard to get the information on it. Maybe if they made it available someone would have found a way around it."

"Do you really think Star Fleet outlaws something for no reason?" Chakotay asked quietly.

"Well, at the time, we thought they didn't think we were good enough to do the move."

"The others agreed to do it?"

"Hell, we were all looking forward to showing them we were good enough."

"So, you were all in on it together?"

"Oh yeah, you would have been proud of us, Chak. The Maquis couldn't have done a better job of covert operations getting the information. Hell, all of us were part of it."

"So, you all knew the risks?"

"Yeah, we kicked flight plans around trying to figure out how to beat the well," Tom said. "We all threw out ideas for the computer sims..." Tom started shaking his head. "You're good."

He shrugged simply. "I thought once you looked at it clearly, you might see the truth."

"Doesn't change the fact I killed them."

"Tom, yes, you were the pilot and you bear some responsibility for being the oldest and not seeing the risks, but...everyone that flew that day knew the risks. If you had been on one of the other ships, or if you had been one of the ones that died, would you have held you responsible?"

Tom sat there, staring at his hands for a long time. "Maybe. I..."

"Tom, Star Fleet knew what you did. They reviewed the case thoroughly. I know they did, because I've read the files. And despite what you think, they didn't hold any one of you more responsible than the others. You were all given demerits for trying the move."

"No, Chak, that's why they drummed me out. I should have done more. I was the oldest. I was the pilot. It was my fault."

"Did anyone ever try to pull out of doing it?"

"Shoot, we all had doubts at some point in time, but the rest would get them back in. You know how that goes."

Chakotay just met his eyes. "Tom, you went against Star Fleet regs. You flew a forbidden maneuver and people died. I did however read some of the personal notes that the tribunal put in. You should have died, Tom. You should have died, and very likely taken the other ships with you. Your actions caused two things to happen within Star Fleet itself. That area of space is now off limits, because the tribunal rightly decided that the Star Burst maneuver was...forbidden fruit to cadets trying to prove their worthiness."

"Really?"

"Really," Chakotay affirmed. "The second change you caused was in emergency response. That's why we have the EMH. If you had been able to move, if anyone had been able to administer emergency first aid, you're friends wouldn't have died. So no, I can't ease your conscience and tell you what you did was right. It wasn't. What I can tell you is, you kept other people from dying and you have saved countless lives through what you went through."

Tom sat there quietly. Chakotay almost swore he saw Tom's eyes tear up.

"Then why did they drum me out?"

"Because you lied, Tom, and there you were very, very guilty. If you had told the truth, you would have stayed in Star Fleet, but the overwhelming majority of the tribunal, although sympathetic to what happened, knew they couldn't allow you to continue on to be an officer, if you couldn't be counted on to tell the truth."

The room was absolutely silent for several moments. Then Tom met Chakotay's eyes.

"Thanks," he whispered.

The tears in Tom's eyes let Chakotay know he had gotten through. The silent acceptance of what he said, told him the words had meant something to him, and Tom's silent departure from his office told him Tom was going to spend a lot of time thinking about what he had done.

Tom sat alone in his quarters, staring out the view port at the stars going by and thinking. He hadn't done this much thinking in a long time. Over and over he thought about what had happened during the Star Burst maneuver, and each time he thought about it, now with his added experience in flying, he realized that once he hit the well, he didn't stand a chance. He had done an exemplary job in not causing the same catastrophe that had wiped out the entire group that had tried it before. His mistakes had been in one, thinking they were smarter than the people at Star Fleet that had outlawed the maneuver and lying. All he could remember was his father, staring at him with those disappointed look, shaking his head.

"Why?" his father had asked. "Anything, but that, Tom. Anything but directly disobeying orders and then, then failing. How many times am I going to have to pull your ass out of the fire? When will you ever learn? My suggestion to you, son. Lie. They can't prove anything."

And with that Admiral Paris had walked off.

Tom shook his head. He had been so scared, so worried, so grief filled that he had killed his best friends, he had taken his father's advice. He had lied and said they weren't trying the Star Burst, but then his own nature had gotten the better and he 'fessed up. That sent his father into orbit, and he had gotten another lecture that if you did lied, you had to stand behind it. No matter what.

Tom sighed. Yep, Chakotay was right. Lying had been his mistake and he had paid dearly for it. Then and for a long time to come. He had thought that standing by his lies, like his father had said, would keep him clean, but it hadn't. It had made him untrustworthy and made him hate himself. Tom shook his head and went to bed.

The next morning, Chakotay was surprised to find a message waiting for him on his terminal from Tom.

"You were right, Chak. Do you have any spare time today?"

He braced against his table. This was the hard part. He had the time, but he was dreaming himself lately, dreams that upset him. In more than one way, he added to himself. He thought over his choices.

Stifle his growing attraction for Tom until after this was dealt with. Stop counseling Tom and approach him with the concept of a relationship, or just steal a shuttle craft and jump ship. He laughed out loud at the last thought. No, he had promised to try to help Tom through this and from everything he had read so far, he had failed Tom from beginning to end, with the sole exception of helping the boy dry out. He sent the times that he was available to Tom and took a shower.

While the water beat on his back, he started to analyze his own feelings. Tom was definitely attractive to him, although why he wanted the pilot suddenly was beyond him. Tom had dropped enough less than subtle hints that he was attracted to Chakotay. Neither of them was involved with anyone else, so what was the problem. Oh Chakotay's mind had a thousand answers for that.

'One, Tom was a man,' he told himself very staunchly.

'Very astute,' he answered himself, 'Just noticed that, did you?'

'Two, they were both senior officers.' That one held a little more water, until he pointed out that Kathryn had pretty much blown that little standing reg out of the water. Scratch reason number two.

'Three, Tom was a notorious womanizer.'

"Not since that away mission, he hasn't been.'

Chakotay turned the shower off and began to dry himself with a towel.

"Four," he said to his reflection in the mirror. "You're his counselor."

He nodded at himself. So, until Tom terminated their counseling arrangement, Chakotay would have to keep himself happy with wet dreams and cold showers.

Tom fought to keep himself busy until he was supposed to meet with Chakotay. He showed up at his door five minutes early. When Chakotay called enter and he went into his office.

"You were right," Tom announced before the doors even finished closing.

"About what, Tom?"

"About the reason being that I lied. That's how I've screwed up most of my life, by lying. I owe you one, Chak. I really do."

"That's my job here, Tom. I try to help you understand what's going on." Chakotay moved around from behind his desk and motioned to the couch. "So how did you sleep last night?"

"Pretty good, I dreamed, but it wasn't a nightmare. It was good." He had dreamed about his father and the crash, but it wasn't with the intensity of a nightmare. It was almost almost freeing in a way.

"I'm glad to hear that. So, we've covered one of the big incidents in your life, Tom. Now, what about Auckland?"

"Shit, Chakotay, that was a nightmare. I have never dealt with anything like that before. I mean I got razzed in the Academy, and I...sold myself after being drummed out, and, well, you know what it was like in the Maquis, but Auckland. That was bad. I've never seen people actually behave that way."

"What do you mean, Tom?" Chakotay asked.

And for the first time, Tom shared what it was actually like for him in Auckland. "And they took me to the conference room, the Captain walks in and offers me my freedom if I take her into the badlands."

"But what about us, Tom? That was a big part of it. You were supposed to help hunt us down. What about the Maquis?"

"You know, Chakotay. I thought the exact same thing, but..." Tom sighed heavily. "Hell, Chak, I thought you hung me out to dry. It was a chance at freedom. I figured as long as I got her into the DMZ and maybe spotted some ships; she'd be happy. I knew you'd lose her, especially with the plasma storms. Besides, I never really thought we'd actually get close to you, But, I knew..." Tom paused, his eyes focused on the opposite wall. "I knew I couldn't live in prison anymore."

Chakotay lifted his cup of tea and took a sip and did the one thing he probably should have done years before. "You know what, Tom? Now that I know the whole story. I think I would have done the same thing, too."

"Oh, c'mon, Chak. You were in a Cardie camp and didn't sing. I did it just to get my ass out of jail."

Chakotay quirked an eyebrow, trying to follow Tom's train of thought. "Tom, the Cardassians never knew I was a plant. What they did to me, they did for the sheer joy of inflicting pain. Believe me, if I'd known anything, I would have talked."

"Did you tell them the Maquis were planning an attack?" Tom's voice was sharp, accusing.

"No, I didn't," Chakotay said, thinking about all the things he had told them though. "That was the one thing I managed to keep quiet about, but they knew who I was, where I was from and the location of some old bases. I told them what I had to, to get them to leave me alone. Just like you told what you had to, to get out of Auckland. I didn't talk about the raid, you didn't talk about our base."

"Yeah, I couldn't tell her that. No matter what, and I sure was praying she didn't ask."

Chakotay smiled, but this time Tom's eyes were clear. Not happy, but guilt free, and that warmed his soul. Tom understood he was forgiven.

"I understand why you agreed to help Kathryn, Tom. I really do and I don't blame you one bit."

For another month, Tom continued in counseling, but towards the end of it, Chakotay really started to struggle. He and Kathryn had been fairly active sexually and although there were many nights, and mornings, he took care of the problems himself, he was starting to crave attention. He missed physical contact and his hand was a poor substitute for the dreams he was having about a certain blonde pilot.

He remembered one of them vividly. He came into his office and Tom was there. He asked why Tom was there, but instead of answering Tom walked up to him and kissed him. Even in the dream, Tom's kisses were intoxicating. It was as neither of them could get enough of the other. Then Tom stroked his cock and Chakotay had moaned and thrust into the caress as his body began to tingle and burn. Tom kept stroking him, biting at his neck and chin until Chakotay was hot enough to come in his own pants. Then, in the dream, Tom pulled the two of them together and they started pushing at each other, marking the other, hands running over flesh, squeezing, tasting, tweaking. Chakotay had woken up with his hand working his own cock and cum spattering his chest.

Chakotay came into his office one day, studying Tuvok's security report. He almost jumped when he found Tom Paris sitting on his couch.

"Tom, why are you in my office?" he asked, pausing, déjà vu making his cock quiver. There meeting wasn't until tomorrow afternoon.

"I was waiting for you," Tom said, standing up. "I wanted to talk to you."

"What happened? Did you have another nightmare?" Chakotay asked, putting the report on his desk, and that rather solid piece of furniture between them, but giving Tom his undivided attention.

"No, I haven't had one in about three weeks," Tom said, coming to the opposite side of the desk from where Chakotay stood. "So, I want to end our counseling sessions."

Chakotay felt his heart both jump with anticipation that Tom actually was doing better and had acknowledged that himself; and it tightened with dread at the concept of not having meetings with Tom anymore, but the counselor won out. It was time to let Tom go.

"Actually, I was thinking the same thing, Tom. I think you have dealt with this problem."

Tom was right about his initial reason for starting counseling. Chakotay enjoyed their time to talk, and he also enjoyed helping Tom. It was nice to be able to sit down with someone and share with them. Chakotay admitted it was especially nice to be able to share with Tom. The last few sessions had been fun. They laughed and spent a lot of time talking.

"I think we have too, Chak."

Chakotay nodded, still not wanting this to happen, but knowing it was inevitable.

"Computer, log entry that as of this star date and time, Tom Paris is no longer in counseling and I can only say I believe his nightmare issue has been successfully resolved. End log."

"Entry logged."

Tom had a strange expression on his face and asked, "So does this mean, you aren't my counselor any more?"

"That's right. You're a free man, Lieutenant," Chakotay teased, ignoring the tightening in his chest.

"Good, because I have something else I want to talk to you about," Tom said, coming around the other end of Chakotay's desk. They stood there with only the chair separating them.

Chakotay smiled slightly and asked, "Then why did you end the counseling?"

"Because it has nothing to do with my past, Chak. It has to do with something you told me," Tom said, staring straight into Chakotay's eyes.

Chakotay's heart started to beat rapidly as warmth infused his cheeks. Tom's gaze was so intense, it was unsettling. It was like he was trying to see into Chakotay's heart, into his soul. Chakotay looked down at his desk and moved a few padds around.

"What?"

"You told me not to lie. You told me that to hide the truth was the wrong thing to do, and I agree with you."

"That's good, Tom. I'm glad to hear it." Chakotay continued to look at his desk, trying to prioritize the padds mentally, because he knew Tom was still staring at him. He didn't know what Tom was up to, but it was yanking his emotions all over the place. That was when Tom reached out and touched his arm. Chakotay looked up and hoped his face was neutral. He saw Tom pull him close and kiss him in his dream, and he almost stepped away from Tom.

"Chakotay, I know I goofed around with this before, and I'm sorry. I never should have been so blithe. But I wanted to know if...I wanted to...would you have dinner with me tomorrow night?"

Chakotay was dumbstruck. Absolutely speechless. If Tom made one forward move, Chakotay was pretty sure he was going to bolt. As he tried to get past the fear, anticipation and hope leaping around in his head, he could have laughed. All of this was over Tom asking him out to dinner? Tom had invited him to do a lot of things: holodeck time, pool at Sandrines. Why was this so important? Then he put two and two together. This was more than just spending time together. This was a date.

Chakotay swallowed. He had questioned himself several times about his promise to wait until they were finished with counseling, because he liked being Tom's friend and considering their pasts, he didn't want to take the chance he would mess that up as well. How many times had he kicked himself in the butt over some of the things he had thrown at Tom over the years? How many times had his spirit guide showed him how wrong he was about Tom? The omega wolf in his spirit walk that day was Tom, but he hadn't asked to be the Omega. He had been shoved into that position, and Tom, seeing that position was vital, had taken up the role. Tom let others pick on him and shove him around so they could vent energies that otherwise would have torn the crew apart. He allowed himself to be last, so others could survive more comfortably.

The question about the crucible? Tom had been through the fire many times. He was almost pure metal now because all the other shit had been burnt off. Chakotay respected Tom now. He respected everything the man had endured to become the man and officer he was now. And Tom wasn't just a good officer, Tom Paris was a fine man.

Chakotay glanced back at Tom, remembering the question needed an answer. What to say? After all it was a pretty easy question. Did he want to have dinner with Tom? Well, of course he did, but what about the counseling relationship? Should he wait longer? Was this improper? What would the repercussions be? He picked up one of the padds on his desk, fidgeting with it, trying to think.

Tom withdrew his hand and lowered his head, but as he backed away, he nodded. "I'm sorry, Commander, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, but I had to ask. No hard feelings?"

Chakotay looked up quickly and what he saw hurt. Tom's face was closed, his eyes were downcast, his jaw was tight and so were his shoulders. Had he done that? Had he hurt Tom that way? Just as Tom was about to trip the door sensor, Chakotay blurted out, "I'd love to."

Tom paused, turning around with a wary look. "You mean it?"

"Yes," Chakotay said, putting the padd down and moving towards him. "I was just surprised by your question. I wasn't expecting it."

"See you tomorrow night at eight?" Tom said, with a small smile.

"Eight o'clock tomorrow," Chakotay repeated.

Tom was doing a last minute check of his quarters. Everything looked good. He rearranged the pillows on the small couch for the third time.

It hadn't been easy to end the counseling, but he wanted to take his and Chakotay's relationship to a deeper level. Of course, Chakotay wouldn't allow anything more than a friendship as long as he was in counseling. So, Tom opted to take the chance, to be honest and see what happened. Chak's initial reaction had scared the shit out of him. Talk about blowing it big time, for a minute he thought not only had he blown the chance at a date, he thought he might have scared the big man off. Honestly, Tom was worried Chak didn't feel the same way. But, if there was one thing he learned from Chakotay, if he was honest about what was going on, taking a chance wasn't as likely to bite him on the butt. So he sucked it up and took a chance.

Gods, how he wanted Chakotay. The last few weeks had been sweet torture for him. Sitting on the bridge with Chak behind him, sitting in his office just talking with him, spending some off time together in the holodecks. He wanted to touch Chak, he wanted to kiss him, and more than that, he wanted to feel that hard body pressed to his.

His dreams were more erotic than anything he had ever dreamed before. He dreamed about sucking the big man off. Even though it was a dream, he could still taste Chakotay's cum, the smooth feel of his dick on his tongue, the moans he pulled from Chakotay. He dreamed of running his hands over the bronzed skin and lapping at it like it was ambrosia; once more making Chakotay arch his back in pleasure and desire. The end all fantasy however was from the night before. That one brought him straight out of a dead sleep and headed for the perfunctory clean up shower that was becoming a habit.

It started with Tom sitting at the helm and the turbolift opening. Everyone turned to see Chakotay come on the bridge with a black, body hugging tee shirt on with a pair of blue jeans that showed off that sweet ass to anyone who cared to even glance in that direction. Chakotay walked up to him. He had stood up, staring deeply in Chakotay's eyes. He didn't voice one complaint when Chakotay pulled him against him and kissed him in front of Janeway and everyone else. It was a good thing it was a dream, because this blew the idea of PDA out the window. Janeway would have thrown them in the brig for lewd and indecent behavior. Tom was breathing heavily in the dream when Chakotay finally released him. His dick was harder than a proverbial rock, as Chakotay whispered, 'I love you.' That was when Janeway cleared her throat, claiming that Chakotay was hers and he couldn't have Tom, but Chakotay turned to her and said, 'You blew your chance, Kathryn. I'm going with someone that really loves me.' He pulled Tom into a tight embrace, kissing him again, stroking Tom through his uniform, whispering in Tom's ear, as he jerked him off in front of the bridge crew.

In his quarters, Tom looked at his now hard dick and with a smile said,

"Down, boy." He laughed as he readjusted his pants. "Good job, Tom. Invite Chakotay over and greet him with a raging hard on. He'll never guess what you're up to." Tom went to check on the dinner he had programmed into the replicator.

Chakotay walked through the halls of Voyager with a very carefully schooled face. He didn't want anyone to know he had a date and the foolish grin he had caught on his own face as he had gotten ready was a dead give away.

He got on the turbo lift and called out Tom's deck. Luckily he was alone. He rubbed his hands together trying to dry them and steel himself against the sense of dread and excitement coursing through him.

"You haven't been this bad in years," he told himself. Kathryn sure hadn't stirred this type of excitement, nor had the previous relationships he had been in. It hadn't been since his first couple in the academy. He didn't know what would happen tonight, but he sure was nervous about it.

The turbolift stopped and he started down the hall.

They ate dinner, talked, laughed and thoroughly enjoyed themselves. Tom got more wine for them as Chakotay went to the viewport. He wanted this night to go on forever. Vaguely watching the stars pass by, Chakotay sighed. Tom was vivacious tonight and, Chakotay admitted, he had never had a better evening on Voyager. Tom came to stand next to him. Chakotay took the glass of wine offered and they both stood there watching, not talking, just enjoying each other's presence.

Then Tom moved closer to him and gently put an arm around his waist. Chakotay smiled and turned towards Tom.

"And just what do you have on your mind, Tom?"

"Well, I remember a long time ago, on a really shitty away mission we pulled together we both made some comments about us getting over our pasts," Tom said gently. "Now I'm not saying we should just jump into the sack together, but I would definitely like to move in that direction." He leaned over and kissed Chak.

Chak hadn't had someone take the lead in a kiss ever. It was... pleasant. Tom's lips weren't exactly soft, but they were warm.

"Because I think I'm in love with you."

Chakotay blinked. Paris in love with him? Then the way he had used Tom's last name shocked him and he realized it was one of his own defense mechanisms. So he set it aside and asked himself honestly, was he in love with Tom? He quickly searched his heart and realized if it wasn't love, it was close. Putting his wine down on a table, Chakotay turned to Tom, and kissed him as well.

"I think you're right, Tom. I think we should explore this more fully."

He took Tom's glass and set it down. Tom gently touched Chakotay's face. War, fingers exerted a light pressure turning his head slightly as Tom leaned in for another kiss.

Chakotay realized he wanted to kiss Tom. He wanted to run his hands over his body and feel the warmth of his skin, see his dick swell. He saw himself reaching out and caressing Tom's cock as they stood there. Tom's eyes were dilating and both of their breathing was getting deeper. Chakotay felt his cock get heavy, with that warm feeling that twisted in his balls and guts. He never blinked until Tom's lips touched his. It was heady. Tom felt so much different than a woman. Chakotay felt his strength and something about that strength turned him on.

He stepped into the kiss, wrapping his arms around the leaner body and rubbed himself against the hardness hidden in Tom's trousers. A groan was pulled from the depths of his soul as he realized Tom was as turned on by this as he was. He pulled Tom closer. Tom's hands were in his hair and his lips were devouring Chakotay's, as Chakotay pulled them even closer.

"Oh, fuck, Chakotay," Tom moaned, rubbing hard against him.

Chakotay lifted Tom's head and kissed him, both of them exploring the other. Chakotay felt a gentle thumb stroke his cheeks, as his hand cupped and squeezed Tom's ass. The attraction between them was intense. Chakotay wanted more.

He cried out quietly when Tom's lips and teeth began to explore his throat. He guided Tom to the sensitive areas.

"Oh, Spirits, Tom. Yes," he hissed, trying to get more stimulation. His dick was taking on a will of its own and Chakotay couldn't have stopped stroking against Tom if he wanted to. When Tom bit down on a particularly sensitive area, he jumped. It made electricity jolt down his spine. He almost came in his pants. "Touch me, Tom. Spirits, it's been so long for me."

Tom pulled back and gently stroked his arms. "I haven't touched anyone since our away mission, Chakotay."

"What? Why?" Chakotay asked. Tom was telling him the truth, but that had been months.

Tom chuckled. "Because that's when I figured out I loved you." Tom kissed him gently again. "Don't think I've been without, I've been having the best dreams about you, Chak, but I think the real thing is going to be so much better."

"You weren't just flirting with me?"

"Yes, I was flirting with you, but it wasn't just flirting. I figured if I made it a little obvious you wouldn't take me seriously."

"I didn't. Well, I thought you were trying to..."

"Make a play for you?"

Chak nodded, hot, cold, excited, afraid. He wasn't sure where this was going, but he knew he was being seduced.

"That, my dear Commander, is exactly what I wanted. Just a little by play. Nothing serious."

"Why didn't you tell me it was serious?"

Tom kissed Chakotay again, teasing his lips with his teeth. "You were counseling me. We were getting along for the first time ever. You were seeing the Captain at first and then you were confiding in me. I wasn't going to throw that away." The way Tom whispered those words vibrated all the way to Chakotay's cock.

"Me either," Chakotay acknowledged. "It was the counseling that made me stop thinking that way."

"Stop thinking?" Tom asked, as he ran his hands over Chakotay's ass, and then snaking up the back of his shirt. "Were you having lascivious thoughts about me, Commander?"

Chakotay lowered his eyes for a moment, nodding, but admitted, "Yes, I was."

Then they were kissing again, but it wasn't enough. Chakotay slid his hand under Tom's shirt and they both moaned when his hand met warm flesh. They were trying to devour the others' mouth and remove the others' clothing at the same time. The brief picture of two teenagers getting it on flashed through his mind, but for the life of him, he couldn't stop what he was doing. He wanted to get down to naked flesh, and explore with his tongue, hands and lips.

Chak latched onto Tom's hair to control his head, thrilled when Tom dropped his head back. Chakotay started to bite and chew on his neck, but a thought stopped him. How would the others view a hickey? What would Tom think about a hickey?

His thoughts were interrupted when Tom slid his hand between them and grabbed Chak's cock through his pants and started to jack him off slowly. Everything, but that slow slide of pressure on his dick, evaporated from Chakotay's mind. He gently bit Tom's neck, trying to stifle the groan of pleasure.

"Go ahead, Chakotay. I want it," Tom breathed as he ran his entire hand up and down Chakotay's cock again.

Chakotay left mark after mark on Tom's neck, as Tom took control of the situation. Chakotay feasted on the warm flesh that smelled so like Tom, his hands finding handholds on Tom's ass and the back of Tom's neck, squeezing in rhythm to Tom's strokes. He was barely aware of Tom's other hand working until his shirt slid off his shoulders. Chakotay groaned as that warm hand counterbalanced the cooler air temperature around him, passing over his pecks and shoulders, as the other continued to expertly work his cock. He was meeting it with thrusts of his own, pushing hard into the welcoming friction. He managed to pull his hands away from Tom and get Tom's shirt off. Then they pressed against each other, warm flesh to warm flesh. He pushed back into Tom's hand and returned to working the spots on Tom's neck that made him moan and jump. Tom moved his head to accommodate Chakotay, and ran his fingers up the back of Chakotay's scalp.

"I love that, Chak," Tom moaned.

Chakotay was breathing hard as he worked Tom's neck, spreading his legs slightly so Tom could get better access to him.

"Mark me," Tom whispered. "I love your strength, Chakotay. I love you." The last word became a groan as Chakotay drew at the juncture of his shoulder and neck.

Chakotay smiled and put another mark on Tom's neck, just for good measure. That was until Tom ran his hand down Chakotay's stomach, pushing past the waistband of his pants. Chakotay felt his knees give for a second as his warm hand firmly grabbed and stroked his dick. He cried out quietly as Tom pushed down and drew the skin up over the head of his dick.

"Oh, Tom, yes," he groaned, going after the other side of his neck.

Tom chuckled. Chakotay felt a flash of anger, but Tom pulled his face up and kissed him.

"Still wearing silk, I see, Commander," Tom whispered in his ear.

Tom kneeling on the deck of the shuttle holding his boxers out in front of him. Chakotay smiled.

"I could have kicked your ass that day," he admitted.

"I thought you were going to," Tom said.

Chakotay sighed and shook his head, that was until Tom pulled him closer again, and worked his hand down into his boxers and grabbed his dick. It had waned slightly with the interchange, but was more than happy to demand more blood as Tom expertly worked him into a state of dynamic erection.

"I have dreamed about those, Chakotay. I've dreamed about nuzzling that warm silk to get to this," Tom whispered, his voice thick with passion. "I've dreamed about seeing you in them only. One little boo-boo on an away mission has given me more hard ons than I can count."

Chakotay stood still, unable to do much else, as Tom teased his mind with mental pictures, stroking his cock in rhythm to the cadence of his voice.

"I've seen them on you as you stand behind me at the helm. I've seen them as you walked ahead of me, showing off this tight ass." Tom squeezed Chakotay's ass. "I want you in these."

Then Tom pulled him away. Chakotay was breathing hard.

"Do you want to finish this?"

Chakotay paused, trying to bring his brain back on line, while his cock screamed for attention. "You ask me now? My cock is hard enough to use as a drill head, and you ask if I want to finish this?" Chakotay growled. "Tom, I don't think I could stop if I wanted to."

Tom was flushed, his cock clearly outlined against the front of his pants. "Then what do you want?"

"I want to finish this, Tom," he growled, but he saw Tom's question. Tom knew this was an issue with Chakotay. Chakotay took several deep breaths, trying to think of something other than his dick. "I don't know. What are my choices?"

Tom shrugged. "I can blow you, we can go sixty-nine and get each other off. We can just do handjobs."

Chakotay took another deep breath. Those mental pictures did nothing for coherent thought. He and Tom clutched together sucking each others' dicks. Tom on his knees sucking his dick. Just standing here and stroking off like teenagers was even hot. He could watch Tom come that way.

Then Chakotay realized he didn't want any of those. His ass and cock were tingling and the concept of feeling Tom's cock in his ass, made a fresh surge of blood make his cock even harder. Tom was going to let him lead this one. Chakotay nearly growled as he thought about Tom taking him. He pushed bad memories away. Cardassians had huge ridged dicks, humans were round and smooth. Chakotay wanted to grab his own dick and get off now. He looked at Tom and made a decision. "Take the top, Tom. Show me what it's supposed to be like."

"Are you sure?" Tom asked, searching his eyes.

"I want your dick up my ass, Lieutenant. Must I repeat an order?"

"No, sir," Tom answered, kissing Chakotay hard. "Not that one at least. Get on the bed, Chak. So help me, we're gonna do this right, if it kills us."

"Let's hope it's not that serious," Chakotay said. They both moved into Tom's bedroom and Chakotay released his pants and pulled them open, cursing his inexperience and fear, but his curses were soon forgotten as a warm chest snuggled up to his back and soft lips started to caress his shoulder, teeth nipping at the ridge.

"Relax, Chakotay. This is supposed to be something good, not frustrating or painful."

Chakotay hissed as Tom ran his hand ran over Chakotay's lower belly, then to the sensitive area of his hip following the line between his pubic hair and the edge of his pants down to his cock. The slow stroke up and down through the silk boxers, coupled with the sweet nip of pleasure on his shoulder, made his entire groin hum with excitement.

He jerked with each new touch, again fighting off the urge to grab himself and finish this blessed torture. He moaned as another hand traveled his chest, gently pulling on his nipples, outlining his pecs and Tom's cock nuzzling into his ass. He dropped his head back against Tom's shoulder.

"You're handsome, Chakotay," Tom murmured, before starting to bite up and down his neck.

Chakotay's only answer was a small growl as he pushed into Tom's hand.

"Do you want more?" Tom asked, as he tightened his grip and pulled harder, stretching and bunching the skin over the head of Chak's dick. His boxers pulled up against his balls, caressing them, wrenching a groan from him.

"Yes."

Tom's warm hands slid gently to his hips and slid his pants down. They dropped to the floor, but before Chakotay could even really acknowledge he was naked, except his underpants, Tom carefully cupped his balls, squeezing them gently, while continuing the stroke up and down his cock. Chakotay, spread his legs slightly, and guided Tom's hand to where he liked to be touched, showing him how he liked all of it.

'Spirits,' he thought. Both of them had both of their hands on his cock and balls, while Tom continued to kiss and taste and bite at his neck. He was about to start humping into them. The mental picture was enough to get off on, let alone experiencing it.

"Yeah, Chak, show me," Tom murmured, as Chakotay twitched into the hands. Tom's warm breath flowed over his neck, marking where Tom had bit and licked at his shoulders by the pointedly cooler areas.

"Harder," Chakotay gasped. "I like that harder."

Chakotay groaned as Tom did exactly what he wanted, rolling his balls, pulling at the head of his dick. Chakotay was fighting to draw breath into his lungs. He was both excited and frustrated to be held and touched this way. He couldn't do anything to hurry this and starting to feel incredibly vulnerable.

Tom pulled down on Chak's balls, with just enough pressure to make Chakotay twist and groan and start to rub his ass on Tom's cock, but each movement, each second was taking their toll.

This had to change or he was going to lose it. Tom was bringing him to the edge. Between the slow strokes against his ass, and Tom's matching rhythm on his cock and the exquisite torture of his balls, Chak was quickly losing his self control.

"Tom, I...please...Oh, Spirits, do something."

"Sit on the edge of the bed," Tom whispered, releasing his hold on Chakotay.

Chak groaned, but as he started to take his boxers off, but Tom stopped him.

"Sit."

He did and was surprised when Tom knelt in front of him and then sucked his cock down his throat. Chakotay almost came off the bed, when Tom rolled his silk encased balls between his fingers.

"Oh, shit!"

He felt Tom chuckle, as he continued his assault. "Told you I dreamed about these Chakotay. You'll be lucky to get them off at all."

Chakotay braced one arm behind him, as Tom slowly flicked his tongue across the sensitive head of his cock, and then took him to the root.

"Spirits," Chakotay groaned.

He made some other noise, but he didn't really care or know what he meant by it. He watched the blond head move over his groin while Tom deep throated his cock. It was a dream come true. Then Tom sat back, so Chakotay could see and feel his cock slide in and out of Tom's mouth. The angle of his dick, the unusual sensation against the back of his cock as Tom dragged his teeth up to the crown, and watching a man suck his dick made Chakotay want to grab Tom's ears and start driving, but Tom sensed his mood and started to fuck him hard with his mouth. Chakotay met his rhythm and soon cried a warning, but instead of pulling back, Tom took him deep and swallowed. Chak bit down on his lip as he came down Tom's throat. The sounds he made as Tom sucked him dry were guttural and raspy.

Then before he could completely recover, Tom was guiding him to the surface of the bed, kissing him again. Chakotay could taste his own semen and for a moment, he was back in the Cardie camp. He pushed Tom back and almost gagged when he remembered being forced to do what Tom had done willingly.

"Chak?" Tom asked, panting, confused. "What's wrong?"

Chakotay swallowed heavily. "How...How can you do that? It tastes..."

A warm hand touched his face and soft blue eyes filled his vision. "I'm sorry. I didn't think of that. But, Chakotay, I wanted to and you taste sweet. Sweeter than any other man I've ever tasted. If it upsets you, I won't do it again. I'm sorry."

Chakotay tentatively leaned up and kissed Tom again. Tom let him do what he wanted. Tom was right, he did taste sweeter, not the acrid taste he had been expecting. He continued, deepening each kiss, until Tom pinned him to the bed, his his hard cock pushing against Chakotay's leg. This time Chakotay reached for Tom's cock, and when Tom groaned, Chakotay whispered.

"Let's finish this."

"Are you sure? I can take care of myself," Tom offered.

"No, I'm fucking scared to death, Tom. My ass has been off limits for a long time, but I want to get past this."

"I won't hurt you, Chakotay, I promise." Tom got off the bed, reached into his bedstand, pulled something out and set it out.

Chak reached over and picked it up, sniffing it, touching it.

"Chak?" Tom questioned.

Chakotay looked up and saw Tom staring at him impatiently.

"If you don't want to do this, say something now."

Chakotay looked down at Tom's cock. It was hard and long, and Chak felt his own dick twitch, as he stared. Without a word, Chakotay simply turned on his side, his back to Tom and pulled his leg forward.

"No, Tom. I want it."

"Oh, shit," he heard Tom whisper.

Tom snuggled up behind him. Chakotay felt Tom's hand gently run over his ass, still encased in silk. Chakotay moved a pillow under his chest and held it there. His body was screaming to do this, but his mind was not so gung ho. The pillow felt good to hold onto.

"Yeah, good idea. I'll be as gentle as I can."

"I know," Chakotay whispered.

Then Chakotay released himself into Tom's care. He felt Tom's hands and lips caress his back and ass. His teeth a sharp counter point to the gentle touches, until his cock was back to semi hard, just a teasing fullness that made Chakotay want to rock against the blanket under him.

Then Tom gently pulled at the waistband to Chakotay's boxers. It was the final step and although it made him feel incredibly vulnerable, Chakotay lifted his hips, allowing Tom to pull the fine fabric from his hips. However, instead of an immediate assault, Tom covered Chakotay and started talking to him, soothing him, exciting him. The warm hands slid over his ass, and Tom's warm cock nestled between his cheeks as a slick hand slid under him and started to beguile his soft dick.

"Still sure?"

"Yeah," Chak whispered, as he felt the slickness on his dick.

Tom reached lower, stroked his balls. It took control not to tighten up, but Tom's gentility was making it much easier. Tom pulled him onto his side and insinuated himself tightly against Chakotay. For several moments, Chak held the pillow, wanting to relax, and as Tom continued to arouse and beguile him, he found his grip loosening as he started to meet Tom's caresses.

Then the warmth was gone. Tom was standing beside the bed, removing his own pants. Chakotay almost flinched when Tom exposed his dick, but once more, he saw only human anatomy and he exhaled heavily. Tom got back on the bed and Chakotay released his death grip on the pillow. Teeth, hands, warmth, all running over his sensitized back. Chakotay found himself twitching to the touches and hissing his excitement.

"I promise, Chakotay, I won't hurt you."

Chakotay almost jumped when he felt Tom touch his ass, but it was only a stroke between his cheeks, followed by a gentle squeeze.

"Breathe, Chakotay," Tom urged, as he scooted tightly behind him. Tom renewed his attack on Chakotay's neck, making him twist and touch his own dick. He cried out as he used an open hand on his own dick, teasing the glans. It helped blot out the pressure against his ass, but soon the fear and the pressure decreased. Chakotay pulled his leg forward, wanting what Tom was doing now. He jumped when he realized Tom was inside him, deeper than any human had ever been.

"That's it, Chakotay. We're almost there. Breathe," Tom whispered.

It didn't take long before Chakotay was leaning on the abandoned pillow, Tom working his neck and ass, while he worked his own dick and balls.

"Easy, big man," Tom said, low and deep, but Chakotay could only groan as he felt Tom's dick slowly breach his ass. There was no pain. In fact, there was only a tightness as he stretched around Tom's dick.

"What have you done?" Chakotay gasped.

"It's a mild analgesic, stops the pain, Chakotay. Keeps the entry from hurting," Tom explained.

Then Chakotay inhaled sharply as Tom slid all the way into him. He felt Tom freeze, as his mind went through a momentary meltdown. Chakotay expected pain like he had suffered at the hands of the Cardies, but instead of a sharp, slicing pain as he was speared by a Cardassian guard, there was only warmth and a fullness and pleasure he had never felt before in his life.

"Again," he groaned.

Tom slowly pulled back and then slid deeply into him. He arched his back and pulled hard at his dick.

"Tom," he pled.

"Yeah, there it is, Chakotay. I found it. You want more?"

"Spirits, yes!"

Another slide and he was trying to thrust back on Tom's cock. Tom moved with him, and soon Chakotay was on his hands and knees, legs spread, urging Tom to do him. Every stroke was paradise. He continued to work his own dick, until he felt himself building to a crescendo. He vaguely realized he was begging Tom to do him, that he was driving back onto Tom's cock, and that he wanted this more than he had ever wanted anything else in his life.

Over and over Tom made him groan and twist for him. "So close, Tom. Do me. Spirits, finish this!"

He heard Tom's chuckle, but he didn't fight the hands on his hips, stilling him somewhat, as electricity gathered in his body. He arched his back as Tom pounded him, bright white lights exploded behind his eyes as he came hard in his own hand, as he felt Tom flood him with his hot seed. Chakotay's own orgasm roared through him, as Tom tensed and drove deep.

"Sweet," Tom whispered, kissing at Chak's shoulder, as he collapsed against him.

Chak supported Tom for a moment, but then felt Tom stir and lift himself off Chakotay.

"We okay?" he asked quietly.

Chakotay took a moment, and then answered with a clear conscious. "Oh yeah, we are more than okay."

He felt Tom's head against his back and heard him try to get his breathing under control.

Tom woke up the next morning with a warm body curled up to him. He lifted his head and couldn't have stopped the smile on his face if it had meant his life. He ran his hand along Chakotay's bronze arm relishing the skin contact. They had finally made it. He lay there, just letting his body get used to the feel of the large body curled up to his back. He had checked Chakotay last night, making sure there was no damage and he was glad to see there wasn't. He lay back down, holding Chak's arm around his waist, trying not to wiggle his ass. When Chakotay's breathing changed, Tom knew he waking up and held his breath, hoping Chak was just as thrilled as he was about waking up together. He waited for a minute and then felt lips pressed against his shoulder and the arm around his waist tighten slightly.

"Morning, Tom."

"Morning, Chakotay. How you feeling?"

There was a pause. "Wonderful."

They both ate breakfast, and as they did, Chakotay asked, "What did you use on me last night?"

Tom blushed. "Oh, that. That was a special lube. It had a small amount of hydrocortisone in it. I only used it on my hand and I only used enough to prevent any pain. I figured you were going to be tight and tense. I didn't want to hurt you, Chak."

"So what? It numbed me out or something?"

"Just the top layers. Although I will admit it did have an added benefit."

"What was that?"

"Numbed me out a little, too. I would have cum in the first three strokes if it hadn't been for that." Tom lifted his eyebrows innocently. "What can I say? You got one hot ass, Commander."

Chakotay examined his plate for a minute, his face warm as Tom chuckled.

"I'm sorry, Chakotay. I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"I'm sure," he replied, trying not to blush even more. "Oh, something I did want to discuss with you. You may think it's a little soon, but I know what her reaction is gonna be if she finds out through the grapevine, so I want to tell Kathryn."

Tom thought about that for a minute. "I understand and I know you don't want to do to her what she did to you, but as much as I would love to say we're going to live happily ever after, it's only been one night."

"I know, but I am going to tell her that you were released from counseling two days ago and that we had dinner together."

"Chakotay, it's been months since she broke up with you, you really don't owe her any of this."

"Owe her? No. But Tom, I was your counselor as of two days ago. I'm not giving her any ammo to use against us. I haven't even told her that you have been released from counseling. So before any of this hits the grapevine, I'm taking a preemptory strike. She is not going to get to harass either of us."

Tom took a sip of his coffee. "Okay, big man. You do what you have to do."

"Expect some fireworks," Chakotay said, as he got up from the table.

"I was already prepared for it."

Chakotay started to gather his things to go to his quarters, but stopped and looked back at Tom.

"You wanna come to my quarters tonight?"

Tom smiled evilly and said, "Better believe it, Chakotay. Tonight you can help me get over my past."

"Not what I needed before my meeting with Kathryn," Chakotay said, with a pat look of annoyance.

Tom just smiled and winked. "Good luck, Chakotay."