End of the Line

Jay yawned contently as he rested his head on Silent Bob's chest, both men still panting slightly from the activities of moments passed, legs and arms entwined around one another. Bodies pressed close together. Any closer and they would meld together. It was perfect. Jay loved this. Despite all of his macho bullshit, he loved being held. He loved laying here with his.. Bob, with only sweat and skin seperating them. He loved listening to Bob's heart beating as he fell asleep. He loved... hell, he just loved being loved.

Bob leaned down and kissed the top of his blonde head. Jay smiled.

"Hey Bob?"

Bob opened an eye and looked down at Jay.

"I love you Bob."

"I love you too, Jay." Bob smiled and held the thin man a bit tighter as they both drifted off to sleep.

"HEY TUBBY! I'M HOME!" Jay climbed up the stairs to his and Bob's apartment, only to find the door was wide opened. He knew he had closed it when he left, and Bob wouldn't have left it opened like that if he'd gone somewhere. Immediatly, panic started rising up in his throat as he darted inside. The place was absolutley thrashed. Just about all of the easily portable electronics were gone, and the rest were broken, save a few CDs. All of the cabinets were opened, and a few were even off of the hinges. Furnature was all askew, upside down, whatever was apparently convienient.

But Jay didn't pay attention to that. The first coherant words out of his mouth...

"BOB!?" he screamed frantically as he darted around the apartment. "BOB WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!?" His own terror adding a shrill edge to his voice.

Then he noticed the shower was running.

But.. Bob had been in the shower when he.. left.. oh.. Jesus...

Jay sprinted into the bathroom, his hands flying to his mouth to muffle his screams. There in the bathtub was Bob, completely naked and almost dead. Jay could see his breath catching in his chest every few seconds. There was some blood splattered on the white tile of the wall, and some spots in the bathtub, but that was all. The rest had washed down the drain.

"Bob.." Jay could barely squeek out as he walked over to the tub and shut the water off. "Bob.. wake up.." He slowly pulled Bob's heafty frame out, nearly dropping him upon seeing the bullet holes. It was amazing Bob was still alive. But he wouldn't be.. not for much longer.

"Bob.. shit Bob, I'm gonna go call an ambulance. You're going to be alright.. I love you.. don't die. Just hang on a little longer Bob." Jay whimpered, stroking Bob's wet hair back from his face.

Bob looked dimmly up at Jay and tried to raise his arm. Jay picked up Bob's hand and placed it against his cheek.

"I... waiting... you..." Bob croaked, taking in sharp breaths with each word.

Jay sobbed. "No! You can't do this to me Bob!" He let his tears run freely down his face. "I love you!"

Bob's eyes were a mixture of pain, anger, sorrow, and love. "I... sorry..." he breathed. And with those finally words, his form became silent and still. No talking, no breathing, no moving. Nothing.

Jay let loose a cry of anguish and held Bob tightly. He cursed everyone and everything he could think of. It wasn't right, it wasn't fair! How could God let this happen? How?

Jay continued wailing until he exhausted himself, his shocked body and mind finally forcing him to sleep.

The next few weeks just seemed to crawl by. Everyday there were police asking him questions. Does he know who would do it, was he there when it happened, when did it happen, and so on and so forth. Eventually they figured that it was probably just a burglery gone bad. A case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

By now, Jay had run out of tears. His emotions had retreated into the furthest recesses of his mind, along with any and all feeling. He was numb to the world. Only speaking when spoken to, and even then only when he couldn't answer with some bodily movement, a head shake, a shrug, a vague facial expression.

Jay was staying at Trica's house now. He didn't want to, but they wouldn't let him stay at his and Bo... at his apartment. Everyone was afraid he would hurt himself. And they were probably right. He wished so badly that he weren't here. He just wanted to curl up into a little ball and shoot himself, make the aching stop.

And everyone dropping by every two minutes didn't help, because everyone reminded him of Bob. Not in their words or actions, but just by their presence.

Dante and Randal, the Quick Stop. Where Jay had spent every God damned day of his life practically. Where he had met Bob. Where he had grown up with Bob. Luckily they didn't visit much, because they were always working. At least Randal usually brought by some good flicks. Not that Jay had watched any of them. Movies were about the last thing on Jay's mind.

Brodie and TS, the mall. Where Jay and Bob had spent every Friday for the past who knows how many years. They, unfortunatly, stopped by more often. Didn't really say anything, just offered their sympathy, and occationally offered to take Jay out. When that happened, he had to force himself not to laugh. Yeah, go out. Go out so everyone and their fucking grandma can ask "Hey Jay, where's Bob?" Not fucking likely.

Banky and Hooper had even come by once when Banky was on a break from shooting Baby Dave, his latest million-dollar comic to movie deal. Fucking comics. Why couldn't he be like his comic-book counterpart? Nice and dead. The upside to that visit was that Banky had actually hugged him. He needed to be hugged. He needed that physical contact that he was now lacking.

Jay sighed and rolled over on the couch, pulling Bob's old trench coat tighter around him. He kept the shades drawn, and had removed every lightbulb from the room. He didn't want any light in the room. Ever. He just wanted everyone to leave him alone.

"At least I don't have fucking angels flying out my ass.." He said outloud, his voice was dry and cracking slightly.

"Think again Goldilocks."

Jay jumped up and looked in the direction of the voice. There, sitting in the recliner, was Rufus.

"Yeah, so you were technically right." the apostle rolled his eyes.

Jay just sat back down, pulling his knees to his chest and looking at Rufus, waiting for him to explain what he wanted.

"Just have a little something for you. Had to escort it down here.."

Jay cocked an eyebrow. What the fuck are you babbling about?

Rufus just shrugged.

"Jay.."

Jay's eyes flew wide opened and he slowly turned around. There, standing at the end of the couch, was Bob. His Bob. His Silent Bob. Jay didn't even try to hold back the suprised little eep that escaped his lips as he looked back at Rufus, who just nodded.

Jay sat frozen for a few more seconds before launching himself at Bob, wrapping his arm around his neck. Amazingly, Jay found that he did have a few tears left.

"Bob, you stupid bastard.." he sobbed, clinging to Bob for dear life.

Bob clung to Jay heaving form just as tightly, stroking his long blonde hair. "I'm sorry Jay.. I'm so sorry."

Jay just held on, crying his coffee brown eyes out. Finally, after several minutes, he found his voice again. "Why? Why did you leave me?"

Bob kissed Jay's cheek. "I'm sorry. I tried to hold on. I didn't think I'd be able to hold on until you got back. It wouldn't have mattered if you had called an ambulance. I knew I wasn't going to make it. I just.. I had to say goodbye.. I'm so sorry Jay.."

Jay sobbed into Bob's neck. "I love you."

Bob sniffled. "I love you too Jay."

The two men just sat there holding one another until Rufus finally spoke up.

"Hey Big Poppa, we've got to head back soon."

Jay let out a sorrow filled cry of "No!" and clung tighter to Bob, if it was possible.

Bob nodded and slowly pulled away from Jay. "You've got to do something for me Jay."

Jay looked at Bob right in the eyes, ignoring the tears still pouring down his face.

"Stop doing this." Bob motioned around. "I want you to go out. You can't stay holed up in Trish's living room forever. Go see a movie with Brodie or someone tomorrow. Go to a party, just get out and do something. Anything. Alright?"

Jay nodded slowly, clutching Bob's hand tightly in his own. Then suddenly he leaned in and captured Bob's mouth in a desperate, needy kiss. His hands running over Bob's beard, his tongue and lips wrestling Bob's mouth opened, forcing his entire being into this kiss. What he knew was their last kiss. Maybe if he could just keep kissing Bob, he wouldn't leave him again. If this moment could stretch forever, then Bob would stay. If he just held on tight enough...

Jay let out a small cry as Bob finally broke away, tears pooling in his eyes.

"I.. I have to go Jay."

Jay let out another sob.

"I'm sorry.. I'm so fucking sorry Jay. Just please... don't let this kill you. Try to be happy... for me.. I hate seeing you cry. And remember.. I'll always, always love you. No matter what."

"I love you too, Lunchbox.." Jay sobbed. But it was too late, Bob and Rufus had disappeared, leaving Jay alone in the dark living room once again.

Jay awoke the next morning to a growling stomach and the smell of bacon. Food. Should probably have some. Haven't had any in a while. With a soft grunt, Jay heaved himself up from the couch, then, wrapping the trenchcoat tightly around himself, slowly emerged from the living room and slunk into the kitchen.

"Oh! Uhm.. Morning Jay. I wasn't expecting to see you. You want some breakfast?" Trish cocked her head and offered him the already prepared plate.

Jay just nodded dully and sat down at the table.

Trish blinked and set the plate down in front of him, having been expecting him to just take the plate and retreat back into his Batcave. "So.." she starting fixing another plate for herself, thinking of something to break the silence. "Any plans for the day?"

Jay shrugged, poking at his scrambled eggs with his fork before eating them.

"Well.. if you wanted to, you could go return a couple videos for me. Down to RST..." Trish bit her lip as she sat down across from Jay, waiting for him to start crying again or something.

Jay stopped dead in the middle of moving his fork from the plate to his mouth. He looked up with his red, blood-shot eyes. "... 'kay," he said in a small, wavering voice before turning his attention back to his food.

Once finished, Jay got up and slunk back into the living room as quietly as he had entered.

After showering for the first time in a week or so, Jay found himself dressed and waiting at the corner for the bus, videos wedged under his arm. The bus pulled up and opened the door.

"Well hey there Jay." The bus driver smiled. "Haven't seen you lately.. Where's Bob?"

Jay flinched and glared at the bus driver, then dumped the money into the slot and retreated to the back of the bus, curling up next to the window. He watched the scenery go by and sighed. People got on, people got off, their lives exactly the same as they had been the day before, and the day before that. But Jay knew his life would never be as it was a month ago. He glared daggers at anyone who dared to enter his little barrier. The two seats in front of him, the back row, and the two seats on the other side. He avoided eye contact with everyone, knowing that regulars on the bus would ask about Bob.

Finally, an excrusiating 45 minutes later, Jay got off of the bus, right in front of the block of stores.

*Ding ding*

"I'm on a break."

"... uhm.. Randal?"

Randal looked up from his porn magazine to see a teary-eyed, slightly trembling Jay standing in the doorway.

"Oh.. hey Burn Boy. Dealing again already? You know there's still that restraining..."

Jay narrowed his eyes, a few tears escaping at that point. "Can't a guy return some fucking movies without some God damned cocksmoking clerk jumping up his ass?" he growled and slammed the movies on the counter. "I knew I should have stayed ho... at Trish's." he mumbled to himself as he turned around to leave.

"Wait.. Jay. I'm sorry.. that was completely inappropriate. Even for me."

"Fuck you."

"No Jay, really. Let me make it up to you.. wanna go see a movie?"

Jay snorted. "What, like a date?"

Randal sighed. "Whatever gets you off. I just want to see 13 Ghosts." He opened up the magazine again.

Jay just blinked and walked out.

A few hours later, Jay found himself curled up on Trish's couch again, burrowing under a blanket and chanting lightly. "Don'twannagodon'twannagodon'twannagodon'twannago..."

Knock knock.

Jay whimpered and curled up tighter in the blanket.

The door to the living room creaked opened.

"Jay?" It was Trish. "Randal's here."

Jay whined and pulled the blanket over his head, only to have it ripped off of him completely.

"Listen Jay, I know this has been hard. But you can't stay locked up like this." Trish sighed, receiving a scathing glare from Jay. "Would Silent Bob like seeing you like this Jay?"

Jay blinked, then turned his head away, remembering the previous night's visit.

"I thought not. Now go out there, get in the car, and go do whatever you two are going to do."

With a heavy sigh, Jay heaved himself up and moved towards the door, only to have three daisies thrust into his face. He looked up from the floor and cocked an eyebrow at Randal, as if to ask "What the fuck is this shit?"

Randal just blinked. "Well... you said this was a date. Isn't this what one does? Or did you just want candy instead?"

Jay scowled. "Bitch, if this is some fucking twisted joke.."

"No joke." Randal shrugged. "Just an attempt to cheer you up after how shitty I was to you this afternoon. You ready?"

Jay sighed and pushed the flowers at Trish, then stalked out to the car, Randal following after him.

Trish watched them both climb into the car and drive off.

"Wow.. that was... interesting.." Randal blinked as he and Jay walked out of the theater. "Reminds me of those times me and Dante went to the burn ward... all that blood." he shuddered.

"That movie was fuckin' sweet! And did you see that one bitch? She was too fine!" Jay hopped around, acting closer to normal that he had in a month.

"Are you gwaking at women during our date?" Randal huffed indignantly.

"Fuck you." Jay growled and looked down at the pavement, the sudden guilt causing his popcorn to climb up his throat. "It ain't a fuckin' date."

Randal nodded in mock agreement. "Sure it's not."

"Fuck you clerk!" Jay screamed. "Can't you fucking lay offa me for fuckin' two seconds? Jesus! You fuckin' think this if fuckin' funny don't you? Well Fuck. You! I never fucking asked for your god damned sympathy! I don't fuckin' want it or need it. I don't need you, I don't need Trish.. I don't need anyone. Now fuckin' take me home, bitch." He ended, fighting back his tears.

"Jay I..." Randal started softly.

"I SAID NOW!" Jay screamed at him, a sob escaping before he could cover his mouth.

Randal just nodded slowly.

Jay stepped off of the bus and into the pouring rain, clutching the three daisies. How fucking cliché. It had been a few days since his little outing with Randal. Guilt was knawing at his gut. He had to appologize.

Leonardo Cemetary. Jay sighed and walked shakily through the gates. After a few minutes of wandering, Jay finally found the spot.

Robert "Silent Bob" Blutarski. Right under a tall, lanky tree. A weeping willow.

Jay set the daisies down, then kneeled in front of the stone. He was already soaked to the bone, but he didn't care, or even really notice.

"Hey Bob..." Jay's voice caught. "I.. I'm sorry. I know you told me to be happy, but I can't. I just fucking can't. Whenever I start feeling happy, I feel guilty. I mean, you're fucking dead and I'm laughing it up? It just ain't right. And.. well.. Don't tell no one.." Jay scoffed at the stupidity of his words. "But.. I.. I think I sorta went on a date the other night. The movie was good an' all but.. I just felt like I was cheating, you know? I'm sorry about that Bob." Jay sighed and pressed his forehead against the headstone. "It's just so fuckin' weird since you've been gone man. I mean, that one night.. it feels like a fuckin' dream. It just made the pain worse. I.. I've never felt so alone. No one to listen to me. No one to watch my ass. No .. no one who fuckin' understands me." Jay started shivering slightly, then rolled to sit on the ground, leaning back against the headstone and wrapped his arms around himself. "This sucks Bob. Every day is fuckin' like... like.. alright. You know how sometimes you walk through a room, but it's more like the room passes around you? Like there was a leash around you neck that pulled you through? That's what it's like. Every. Fucking. Day. I don't know how much longer I can take this Bob." he sighed and leaned his head against the stone and closed his eyes, shivering violently as the wind blew. It was involuntary however, the cold had numbed him a while ago.

The elderly groundskeeper looked out the window with a bored yawn. "Sure is nasty out there, huh.." he looked at a random cremation plaque, ".. Ms Stanley?" He paused, as if listening to a reply. "Yep. At least you're all nice and warm." he chuckled and continued mopping, then looked out the window again. That blonde man had been sitting out there for a while. No umbrella or anything. Hell, he was sitting on the ground.

"Well.. I suppose I should go check on him." The man sighed and leaned the mop against the wall. "I'll be back in a minute Ms. Stanley, don't you go anywhere." he chuckled again and went to get himself an umbrella.

In a few minutes, the man made his way out to the site. The blonde man.. was asleep?

"Hey, are you alright?" the groundskeeper said and shook him lightly. The blonde man slumped over onto the ground, but other than that, didn't move. That's when he noticed the bluish tint to his lips and skin. "Oh shit." the groundskeeper whispered and touched his fingers to the side of the blonde's neck, then sighed and pulled them away. "He ain't got no pulse.. shit." He grabbed his walkytalky. "Hey Fred.. call an ambulance..."

A teenage girl stood in front of two graves. "Hey Mike, check this out!" she motioned to a young man a few plots down.

"What?" He said with an exasperated look.

"Look.. these two. Robert 'Silent Bob' Blutarski and Jason 'Jay' Blutarski. They like, died exactly one month from each other. Wow.. well they say close siblings do that sometimes.."

Mike rolled his eyes. "Why do you automatically assume their brothers? Maybe they're cousins. Or maybe.." he laughed slightly. "Maybe they were lovers! Oh yes, and one of them was gunned down in a drive by, or shot by a burgler! And the other could live without his lost partner, and died more or less, of a broken heart." He twirled around and landed in the girl's arms laughing.

"You watch too much Lifetime."

"Shut up. I think it would be poetic."

The girl sighed and looked at the headstones, completely unaware of how right her friend was.