by Gilda Lily
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Alliance owns these pair of yummybuns, I don't, more's the pity.
Author's Notes: Blame Shannon for this. She got me all fired up to write a
short piece of my own after her quick postings, and this kinda arrived
full-bloom. Conceived, written, and proofed in twenty minutes. Enjoy!
Story Notes: Comments welcome on or off-list. E-mail: jeanniemarie@sprintmail.com. (c)
March 12, 2001
Ray awoke, uncertain of what had disturbed his slumber, then he realized that the man beside him was moaning, and not from pleasure. Concerned, he turned over and was shocked to see Benny drenched in sweat, his limbs moving as he was trapped in the throes of a nightmare. He mumbled unintelligble words, then called out his lover's name.
"Ray, no...don't leave me!"
Suddenly he began to scream. Ray shook a broad shoulder and the Mountie's blue eyes snapped open. Ray's heart triphammered as he saw the terror in those eyes.
"Benny, it's okay...shhh, baby, I'm right here."
"Don't leave me!"
He was still in some unknown hell. He suddenly turned his body over onto his side and stared at Ray. He reached out and grabbed his lover's bare shoulders. Ray forced himself not to wince at the bruising grip.
"Ray!"
"Yeah, Benny?"
"Don't go away!"
The terror was still a part of Benny. He gasped and cried and trembled in Ray's grasp as the Italian held his arms.
"Please, Ray! I'll be good!"
"Benny, love, I'm not going anywhere! I'd never leave you!"
He crushed Benny to him, smoothing sweaty hair and running his hand up and down his beloved's bare back. Benny was sheened in sweat and shaking violently now. He whimpered and cried as he clung to Ray.
"Benny, it's all right. It was just a nightmare."
"Raaayy...!!!"
Benny was keening his despair, Ray beginning to worry. The American rocked back and forth, kissing his lover's hair, cheeks, eyelids. Oh, his poor Benny.
"It's okay," he continued to croon, trying to gentle his terrified lover. He could feel the rapid heartbeat against his own chest, frightened that Benny might have a heart attack.
He glanced over at Dief, who had trotted over at the first screams. His wolfie eyes were watching with lupine alertness.
"Bennyluv, I'm right here."
Benny suddenly tore himself away. His eyes were wild, his hair mussed. Ray's heart went out to him. He looked like a terrified child.
"Please, Ray," Benny begged, desperately clutching at his bewildered lover.
"Benny, caro, what is it?" Green eyes searched the beloved face. "Tell me, sweetheart."
"I...I..." Benny tried to draw in breath. "I was in the woods." He gulped. "I was in the dark. I had to start a fire...Daddy tol' me to!" He dragged his hand across his face as he sniffled. Ray's heart broke. "Then I was...at the train station." This time Ray's heart sank. "I...was trying to get back to you. But...Victoria...had me. She...wouldn't let me...go." Benny's teeth chattered. "I saw you. You were...were furious at my...betrayal." He lowered his gaze, the shame darkening his cheeks. "I screamed that I was...was...trying to come back to you. You turned your back and started to walk away. She...started to drag me down...into this cold, acrid pit. Complete darkness." He struggled for breath. "It was like being dragged down...into a maw. Cold and sulfurous. Oh, god, I was so scared! Oh, Ray, I'm so sore-ry!"
Benny began to cry, Dief whimpering as he nudged his thigh. Ray quickly pressed him close again, rocking him as he stroked his child's back.
"Shh, baby, she can't have you anymore. I won't let her. Ever." His eyes blazed fiercely with Italian fire. "My sweet, sweet Benny. Caro mio. I will always be there for you."
Ray was towering with rage. That...that...bitch...had nearly destroyed his beautiful Benny. And what about his love's father? His old man had left a six-year-old child out in the woods with a couple of rocks and a stick or whatever the hell it had been...right after his mother had died. Had told him to make a fire, and then had walked away without looking back.
A six-year-old child!
Ray kissed Benny's tears, the saltiness bitter on his tongue.
"Baby, baby, baby," he crooned. He could feel Benny's trembling start to lessen, then he gently laid his beloved out on the bed, kissing away more tears. He kissed him gently on the mouth.
"I will never leave you, Bennyluv. Never. You are my heart, my soul." Ray brought Benny's palm up and kissed it. He poured his heart and soul into his touch. He had to convince Benny that he would not be abandoned or devoured.
"Oh, Ray..." Benny said brokenly.
Ray lay down beside his baby and pressed their bodies close, soothing him as Benny curled his body into his.
"Never, never, never let you go," he whispered, and Benny cried, believing in his love.