Author's website: http://www.1freespace.com/linda1

Disclaimer: Barbara, Damien and Ray Kowalski belong to Alliance Communications

Author's Notes:

Story Notes: A Ray as a boy story.

This story is a sequel to: The Tree

Damien Kowalski sipped at his coffee as he watched his younger son. Crouched down and leaning forward, Ray's gloved hands were pressed up against the toy store window, his small face full of concentration as he silently watched.

Damien sighed to himself knowing, without looking, what his son was watching. It had been the same every Saturday afternoon for the last three weeks. They would drive to the breaker's yard where Damien would spend an hour or so sifting through car parts for his latest project. Then they would walk through the shopping mall and Damien would treat himself to an espresso and Ray to a chocolate ice-cream.

Damien smiled to himself - his younger son could never sit still for long so he had allowed Ray to wander, within his sight, and look in the store windows. He sighed again - Ray had found a toy store, and every Saturday while Damien was drinking his espresso, his son crouched in front of the toy store window silently watching.

Finishing his coffee, Damien got to his feet. Shoving his hands into his coat pockets, he moved to join his son. Ray looked up as his father stood at his side. He smiled before turning his attention back to the window.

"Time to go home champ," Damien crouched down beside his son.

"Just one more turn around," Ray looked sideways at his father, a hopeful expression on his face. "Please Dad."

"OK," Damien smiled. "Just one more. Then we gotta get going or your Mum will wonder where we've got too. And send out a search party."

Ray nodded slightly. "Isn't it great?" he grinned pressing his face closer to the window to get a better view.

"Yeah," Damien ruffled his son's blonde hair. "Yeah it is." Damien followed his son's rapt gaze - ignoring all the new electronic toys, the brightly coloured robots that talked in tinny voices, the remote controlled cars and the array of toy soldiers, Ray was staring lovingly at an old fashioned train set.

A circular track had been placed in the store window, complete with trees, a grey brick station house, and a greeny\brown tunnel which had been set over the track at the back of the display. Damien and Ray watched as a red steam engine appeared from out of the tunnel pulling three pullman carriages proudly behind it. Ray smiled at his father as he pointed out the engine's name as it passed by them. "Pride of Chicago," he whispered looking back towards the engine as it disappeared into the tunnel again.

Damien stifled another sigh - he had called the store owners to enquire about the price of the train set hoping that he would be able to afford to buy it for Ray's twelfth birthday. But his hopes had been dashed - it had been too expensive, and he had been forced to settle for a model car and a jigsaw puzzle of a steam engine. "Come on champ," Damien ruffled Ray's hair again as he got to his feet. "Time to go home."

Ray jumped up. He took hold of his father's hand as they started to make their way out of the shopping mall. "Can we come again next Saturday?" he asked hopefully. "And watch our train."

"Our train?" Damien questioned.

"Yeah," Ray replied shyly. "It's like our train because this is our special treat," he explained. "You get the stuff for your car. And I get to look at the train while you drink your coffee," he grinned up at his father. "So can we come again next Saturday?"

"We'll see," Damien squeezed Ray's hand. "Wouldn't you rather do something different as it's your birthday next weekend?" Damien smiled at Ray. "It's not every day, you're twelve."

"I know," Ray smiled up at his father. "Mum said she was going to make me a cake. And I can choose what sort."

"Now let me see," Damien chuckled. "I bet you choose a spinach or a cabbage cake," he teased laughing loudly at the disgusted expression on his son's face.

"Dad," Ray protested. "It's gonna be chocolate," he said in a long suffering voice which made Damien chuckle again. "And Mum says that as I'm twelve, I get to make a special wish when I blow my candles out."

Damien nodded as he steered them towards the parking lot. Lost in his thoughts, he half listened, a fixed smile on his face, as his younger son babbled on in his usual rapid fire chatter about everything and nothing. An empty hollow feeling spread within him, and he couldn't shake the sadness that threatened to engulf him. Damien worked hard desperately wanting to give his two sons everything, all the things that he had been denied as a child. He felt utterly useless that he couldn't afford to give Ray something as simple as a train set for his birthday. But times were hard at the moment, and overtime at the plant was a premium.

He felt a tug on his hand and looked down at Ray. "You don't have to buy me the train set," Ray said his face suddenly serious, as though reading his father's mind. "Whatever you and Mum get me, I'll love. Honest."

Damien felt like crying, and bit hard on the inside of his mouth to stop the tears. "I know you will champ," he smiled down at the earnest little face looking up at him. "I know you will." Ray smiled up at him again satisfied that he had cheered his father up.

Three days later........

Damien parked the truck in the drive. Turning of the ignition, he sat for a minute trying to summon up the strength to get out of the truck. It had been a long hard day at the plant; he was bone tired, but he cheered himself with the thought that the rare offer of overtime would pay a few more bills. "Pitter patter," he encouraged himself as he swung his legs to the ground.

He smiled as he entered the kitchen - Barbara was at the sink washing the dishes talking to Christian, who was lolling in a chair drinking coke. "Hi honey," he kissed Barbara on the cheek. "Christian," he patted his elder son's arm. "Am I too late for dinner?" he asked slumping down next to Christian.

"You look tired," Barbara stroke d Damien's arm. "And you're never too late for dinner," she smiled at him as she set a cup of coffee in front of him on the table. "It'll just take me a minute to warm up your plate. It's your favourite, lamb casserole with my special potatoes.

"Sounds wonderful as usual," Damien grinned back at Barbara. "Although I am kinda surprised that Christian and Stanley left me any," Damien looked around the room expecting Ray to burst noisily into the room at any moment. "Hey where is Stanley anyway?"

"He said he was tired," Barbara shot a look at Christian, who remained silent. "So he finished his homework and went to bed early. He told me to tell you that he loves you."

"Stanley went to bed early?" Damien raised his eyes in surprise. "He's not sick is he?"

"No love," Barbara put Damien's dinner in front of him. "Just a bit upset," she patted his arm reassuringly. "Nothing to worry about." Barbara sat across from Damien nursing her own cup of coffee.

"Upset," Damien repeated . "Why's he upset? What's happened?" he looked from his son to his wife and back again. "Is it trouble with school?"

"It's sorta my fault," Christian interrupted as he straightened up in his chair. "I took him to the shopping mall after school so he could pick his birthday present from me," he took a sip of his coke.

"And," Damien encouraged as he spooned some casserole into his mouth.

"Well he wanted to show me this train or something," Christian sighed. "Said it was special. But when we got to the toy store, it was gone. Stanley seemed a bit upset so I went in and asked."

"It was sold," Damien sighed. Right?"

"Yeah," Christian looked surprised. "How did you know?"

"I knew that it would happen sooner or later," Damien pushed his plate to one side, his appetite suddenly gone. "So Stanley took it kinda hard huh?"

"Well.... he said he was OK, but I could tell he wasn't," Christian replied. "Even a chocolate ice-cream didn't cheer him up. Sorry Dad."

"It's not your fault," Damien smiled at Christian as he got to his feet. "Think I'll go and see if Stanley is OK."

Damien crept into his younger son's bedroom. He perched on the edge of the bed sensing that Ray was still awake. Leaning forward, he stroked gently at the blonde hair poking out from the comforter. "What's up champ?" he whispered.

He sat patiently waiting still caressing Ray's hair. Eventually, Ray rolled onto his back looking up at his father. "I'm OK Dad," he murmured pulling away from the caress as he stared at the ceiling distractedly.

"I've seen better okays," Damien smiled down at his son tracing a finger down the tear tracks on Ray's face. "So you gonna tell me what's up?"

"It's gone," Ray whispered. Damien could see him biting at his lower lip trying desperately not to cry again. "Our train's gone Dad."

"I know," Damien replied stroking his hand down Ray's face wiping at a tear as it ran down his face. "I know."

Ray sniffed loudly wiping at his face. Turning anxious blue eyes towards his father. "I didn't want you to buy the train. Honest," he murmured "But I liked when we looked at it. It was neat."

"I know you did," Damien pulled Ray into a hug. "I did too," he rubbed at Ray's back soothingly.

"You did?" Ray muttered into his chest, his voice slightly doubtful.

"Yeah I did," Damien whispered. But we still got our Saturday afternoons. Just you and me. No one can take that away from us," he drew back from his son looking into the clear blue eyes. "We can find lots of other stuff to look at together. And may be you can even help me with building my cars. OK?"

Ray bit at his lip. "OK," he nodded slightly.

"Good," Damien smiled at his son. "Now why don't I tuck you in so you can get some sleep. Gotta save your strength for blowing all those candles out on your birthday cake," he joked as he eased Ray back down onto the bed.

Ray turned on his side snuggling down under the comforter as Damien pulled it up higher. "Can I really help you with the cars?" Ray asked.

"Of course you can," Damien smiled as he tucked the comforter around the small body. "I just said so, didn't I?" Ray nodded, a small smile creasing his face. Glancing sideways Damien noticed that Ray's favourite teddy bear was sitting on the night stand. "So," he picked the battered bear up waggling it at Ray. "Why isn't old bear in there with you?"

"I'm too big," Ray replied quietly looking up at the bear wistfully.

"Nobody's ever too big to have a friend when they feel upset," Damien smiled at Ray as he tucked the bear under the comforter. "OK?"

"OK Dad," Ray smiled as he pulled the bear close. "Love you," he murmured as he closed his eyes.

"Love you too," Damien leant forward kissing his son's forehead. He remained on the edge of the bed, his hand idly stroking Ray's hair, watching his son's breathing even out as he descended into sleep.

"Damien," Barbara whispered from the door. "Your dinner's getting cold."

"Be right out," Damien turned towards Barbara. Ray murmured in his sleep, twitching slightly, as Damien kissed him again. "Night son," he said carefully getting to his feet joining his wife at the door.

"You alright love?" Barbara put a hand on her husband's arm.

"Yeah. I'm fine," Damien replied as he kissed Barbara lightly. "I suck.... but I'm OK," he started down the stairs. "Can't afford to make my son happy," he mumbled to himself as he went. "But I'm OK."

Barbara stared after her husband, a worried look spreading across her face. She quickly checked on Ray before hurrying downstairs to talk some sense into her husband.

Ray's birthday......

"Do you think Dad will be long?" Ray bounced into the kitchen, a grin on his face. "I want to blow my candles out, and Dad's gotta be here."

"He won't be long love," Barbara answered her excited son feeling glad that he seemed to have recovered from the upset over the train. "He just had to meet someone about some parts for his car." She placed the last candle in the cake. Wiping her hands on her apron. "Well... what do you think?" she asked waving a hand towards the cake.

Ray stood next to his mother gazing down at his birthday cake. He counted the candles to make sure his Mum hadn't forgotten any. He smiled - twelve blue candles had been positioned in a circle on top of the cake. The cake, decorated with chocolate flavoured icing and brightly coloured candy stood on his mother's best china cake stand.

"It's wonderful," he breathed as he hugged his mother. "You're the best Mum in the world. And you make cool cakes."

"Why thank you young man," Barbara kissed the top of Ray's head. "Now why don't you go and see if Dad is here yet."

"OK Mum," Ray turned hurrying out of the room. "Then I can blow my candles out. And we can all have some chocolate cake," he shouted over his shoulder as the door slammed behind him.

Barbara shook her head smiling at Ray's boisterous energy and excitement, but had decided long ago that she wouldn't change him for anything. She cast a look back at the cake counting the candles, not really being able to believe that her youngest had reached his twelfth birthday.

Barbara stared out of the window, lost in the past, as she remembered the tiny underweight baby she had brought home from the hospital a month after his birth. Barbara loved Christian dearly and although Ray had looked scrawny, he had been the more beautiful of her two sons with a shock of blonde hair and the most mesmerising blue eyes she had ever seen. Of course, she and Damien had fell in love with him instantly but had then spent months fretting, wondering whether he would live to see his first birthday. But even as a baby, Ray had been a fighter battling against the illnesses that seemed to dog the first few years of his life. Even now, he still suffered from serious bouts of illness, but as each year passed he seemed to get stronger.... and noisier, Barbara laughed to herself. His energy and noisy enthusiasm for life never ceased to amaze her, and she wondered idly what it would be like to view the world through his eyes. She laughed again deciding that she wouldn't be able to keep up the pace. Bringing herself back to the present, she glanced down at her watch wondering where her husband could have got to as it didn't usually take him long to collect car parts.

"Dad's here," Ray poked his head around the door. "So we can have some cake now." He grinned at his mother.

"Just coming," Barbara smiled back as she picked up the cake to take it into the living room where her three men were waiting for her.

"Hello love," Damien kissed Barbara. "Sorry I was so long."

"It's alright. You're here now," Barbara placed the cake on the table. "Although I did think that Stanley was going to burst with impatience at one point," she whispered nodding towards her son. Christian and Ray were sitting together on the couch looking through the book on classic cars that Christian had bought Ray for his birthday.

"You shoulda started without me," Damien whispered back.

"Oh no," Barbara pulled a face at her husband taking his hand. "Stanley wanted you to be here when he blew out his candles." Damien smiled at Barbara as he squeezed her hand.

"So Stanley," Damien turned to his son. "Shall we light these candles for you so you can make your special wish?"

"Yay," Ray leapt up hurrying to stand next to his father, watching as each of the twelve candles were lit. Damien put his arm around Ray's shoulders as his son gazed at his cake. "Make a wish," Damien whispered in Ray's ear.

"Yeah. Come on shorty. Hurry it up and make a wish," Christian encouraged as he dimmed the lights. "So we can all have some cake."

"I'm just thinking of my wish," Ray said turning back to the cake. He looked up at his father and mother and smiled happily. "OK. Got one," he leant forward, his eyes closed. With a deep breath, he leaned further forward blowing out all the candles. Damien, Barbara and Christian applauded his effort as Ray giggled at their out-of-tune rendition of Happy Birthday.

"What did you wish for?" Barbara kissed her son lightly.

"It don't come true if you tell," Ray looked up at her, the expression on his face serious. "Isn't that right Dad?" he turned to his father.

"Yeah," Damien replied. "Didn't you know that?" he teased his wife grinning.

"Of course I knew," Barbara replied mock-punching her husband's arm. "I was just checking if you men did," she teased back. Ruffling Ray's hair. "And I am sure your wish will come true."

"You think?" Ray asked as he looked up at his mother.

"Yes I do," Barbara replied. "Now let me cut some cake for all us. And as you're the birthday boy, you get to have the biggest slice." Ray grinned happily at her.

"Now you're talking,"Christian laughed moving towards his mother. As Barbara turned her back to get a plate, Christian swiped a finger through the chocolate icing, licking it. "Mmm," he giggled as he slung his arm across Ray's shoulder. "Good choice shorty. I love chocolate cake."

"Christian," Ray protested slapping at his brother's hand.

"Stanley," Damien interrupted from the door. "I've got another surprise for you. Here," he offered Ray a large box wrapped in red paper. "Happy Birthday from Mum and me."

"But you already got me a present," Ray said doubtfully looking towards his mother, and back to his father.

"I know," Damien grinned. "But this is an extra gift for you."

"Come on shorty," Christian encouraged. "Open it... so we can all see your gift. Or shall I do it for you?" he teased moving towards his father.

"No," Ray beat him to Damien accepting the gift with a thank you and a happy smile. Dropping to the floor Ray sat cross legged, the gift balanced across his legs. Ripping at the paper he threw it to one side quickly revealing a large box. He stared at the box transfixed, for once silent.

"Don't you like it?" Damien asked.

Ray lifted his head slowly to look up at his father, his blue eyes wet with unshed tears. "It's our train," he whispered quietly. Putting the box carefully to one side, he jumped up flinging himself at his father. "You got me our train," he hugged Damien.

"So you like it then?" Damien kissed the top of his head hugging Ray back.

"Oh yes," Ray pulled back. "You're the best Dad in the whole world. Thank you," he hugged Damien again before moving across to his mother to hug her hard. "Thank you Mum."

"You're welcome," Barbara said as she kissed the top of his head.

"So shorty," Christian said. "Do you want me to help you set the track up?"

"Yeah," Ray replied twisting in the embrace to face his brother. "Mum," he turned back to Barbara. "Can we put it up in here today? Please Mum."

"Of course you can," Barbara replied. "As it's your birthday."

"Yay," Ray bounced towards Christian. Crouched side by side on the floor, the brothers began to set out the track.

Barbara moved to stand next to Damien who was watching his two sons, a smile on his face. "I thought you said the train set was too expensive," she said in a low voice so Ray couldn't hear as she watched her son carefully putting the track together. "And I thought Christian said it had been sold."

"It was.... and the one in the store window had been sold," Damien smiled at his wife as he tugged her into the kitchen. "But I called the toy store owner and asked him to get me a set the same."

"Can we afford it?" Barbara asked anxiously.

"We don't have to,"Damien took Barbara's hand squeezing it gently. She shot him a confused look. "I sold my car," he said as he brought Barbara's hand up to his lips, kissing it gently. "And I have some money left over that we can put away in Christian's college fund."

"You sold your car," Barbara repeated in surprise pulling her hand away. "The car you have been getting stuff for over the last few months. Oh Damien," she took hold of his hand again squeezing. "But it was your dream to own a car like that."

"I know love," Damien replied. "But seeing Stanley's face," he waved towards the door. "When he opened his gift was worth more than fifty old cars."

"Oh Damien," Barbara pulled her husband close kissing him.

Damien pulled back smiling. "And any way there will be other cars," he grinned at Barbara. "But for Stanley there would have never been another train set like the one from the store window."

"Dad," Christian popped his head around the door. "Stanley says that we're ready for the inaugural run of his new train, and he wants you and Mum to be there."

"We're just coming love," Barbara smiled at Christian. Christian disappeared back into the living room. "Damien," she said pulling on his arm. "I promise that one day you'll get your dream car."

"I know,"Damien winked her. "I got my eye on a beat up GTO in the breaker's yard that they wanna give away to make room for some other stuff." He swept his hand in the air mimicking the shape of a car. "Think she'll look good all shiny and painted black," he winked again. "What do you think?"

"I think," Barbara kissed the tip of his nose. "That you're a wonderful man."

"Dad," the door burst open and Ray appeared, a wide grin on his face. "Come on. Hurry up and bring Mum," he said impatiently tugging on his father's hand. "Our train's ready to go."

With a mischievous grin and without warning Damien grabbed Ray picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder. "Dad," Ray giggled as Damien ran his fingers up and down his side, tickling.

"Come on champ," Damien laughed. "We got a train to catch," he moved towards the door Ray still slung over his shoulder still giggling.

Barbara joined in the laughter following them into the living room. She smiled at the sight of her husband and sons sprawled across the floor together watching a red steam train as it disappeared in and out of the tunnel on its way around the circular track. Smiling again Barbara turned to cut the birthday cake into slices.

THE END

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End The Birthday by Linda: linda18@ntlworld.com

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