Disclaimer: No werewolves were harmed in the writing of this story. Honest.

Author's Notes: I started this story on January 1, 2002, fascinated by the notion that the nights of the full moon straddled the turning of the year. The dates in this story do coincide with the cycles of the moon in the 2002 calendar.
The boys all wanted to be heard this time, so this is a departure from the other stories in the Chicago series up to now, which has previously been all from Vecchio's perspective.
Many thanks to my beta, Meredith, for telling me when she was confused. :o) Thanks also to the people who wrote to tell me they liked the other parts of this series. Your encouragement is appreciated more than I can say.

Story Notes: Victoria's Secret, Mojo Rising

This story is a sequel to: Chicago Midnight, Chicago Moon

KOWALSKI
January 1, 2002

I never thought we'd find a bed that three grown men could sleep in comfortably, but then we discovered the Cal-King. It's great, waking up New Year's Day with Vecchio on one side of me, Ben on the other. They're so hilarious, thinking that they need to protect me. It doesn't piss me off like it did at first. I know it's because they love me and they want to keep me around. I just have to remind them every once in a while that I can handle myself.

Okay, so I'm low man on the totem pole in pack rank, but it doesn't mean a whole lot, really. We all discuss things before we make decisions and it's pretty much a democracy.

Who'da thunk it, huh? That three guys in their 40's could live together and not kill each other, let alone talk about stuff. Not that it works all the time. Nothing works all the time. But none of us are stupid enough to think that we could get away with anything but honesty, what with Vecchio being able to read everyone's minds. And Dief, too.

I inhale and sigh, flanked by warmth on one side, coolness on the other, with the tingle of fur in the air from the night before. It's sheer bliss, I gotta tell you.

What's more amazing than waking up between them is the fact that I'm the first one awake. Ben is usually wide-awake at the butt crack of dawn, and even after our furry nights, he's almost always awake before me. But we ran hard last night, really celebrating the turning of the year with the turning of the moon.

I smile, feeling his hand resting possessively on my ass. I told Vecchio once that only Fraser gets my ass and I meant it. Of course, that doesn't mean that Vecchio hasn't laid claim to other parts of my anatomy at times. Not that I complain. Getting head from a vampire is a mind-blowing experience.

This year marks the second we've spent together as a pack. It was early 2000 when Vecchio finally really became our Alpha. With each month that passes, I'm more convinced that we can handle anything, weather any storm.

Every once in a while, when She's nearing Her peak, I'll go out into the backyard and just stare up into the sky. I can feel her, pulsing in me like blood, warming my center with a fire I craved before I became Wolf. Vecchio bonds with Diefenbaker, Fraser feels the rhythms of Nature, but I know Her. Whenever I need to feel close without the Change, I lay naked on the grass behind the house and bathe in Her light.

The house is on the edge of town, so there's less light from the city and you can see the stars way better than from my apartment. We still keep the apartment, for those times when one of us needs our privacy. It keeps us all sane. We knew from the beginning that we had to have somewhere else to be. So we have the little cabin in the woods south of town that we call Ben's place. My apartment in the city. Vecchio's house on the west side. Closer to the sunset, he says, then he laughs.

I squint into the blackness of Vecchio's basement suite towards the three standing valets and the tuxedos that hang waiting on them for us. Vecchio made Christmas presents of Armani tuxes to Ben and me. Said he couldn't have us embarrassing him at the New Year's party. We both knew it was a joke and a way for him to show his love for us.

He thinks we're beautiful and wants us to have beautiful things. I'd feel like a kept man if I didn't know how hard he worked on his business and on his investments and ours, too. The Italian family man instinct has come out in him in spades. He provides for us well.

I got a good feeling about this year. How can I not when I'm surrounded by my Pack? I love these guys, even Dief.

We are strong. We are invincible. We are Werewolf.

Eat your heart out, Helen Reddy. Women got nothin' on us.

FRASER'S JOURNAL
January 2, 2002

We celebrated the New Year in quiet style, we four. Ray Vecchio hosted a small party with our closest friends on the night of January 1st. We were unable to join in New Year's Eve celebrations, as that was the final night our Change. That night, we celebrated the turning of the year by howling at the Moon.

On New Year's night, Elaine and her fianc, Detectives Huey and Dewey, Lt. Welsh, Inspector Thatcher and Constable Turnbull all joined us at our home west of the city.

None of the Vecchio family was in attendance, not even Francesca. I know it hurts Ray, but the hurt lessens a bit every year. It's been nearly 3 years since they turned their backs on him because of what he is. He has learned to live without that family and with his Pack. He also realizes that our bond is actually stronger than family because we chose to be together.

Ray Vecchio greeted his guests in a tuxedo, tab collar shirt, and emerald studs and cufflinks. Ray Kowalski and I wore slightly more traditional looking tuxedos, with ties and vests in different shades of blue, mine a brilliant royal blue, Ray's a sky blue. Sapphire studs and cufflinks completed our suits. Even Diefenbaker wore a bow tie, dark brown to complement the fur of his markings.

Inspector Thatcher seemed both pleased and surprised to see me out of uniform for a formal occasion. She knew my loyalties had undergone a steady, subtle shift over the past two years from the RCMP towards my Pack. It was no more evident than now, in a gathering of friends for a formal occasion. Since I wasn't acting in my capacity as a member of the RCMP, I chose not to wear my serge. A small thing in some people's eyes, but an enormous change in mine.

Champagne and sparkling cider flowed, tongues loosened as the celebration went on. Platters were piled with hors d'oeurves that the host couldn't eat. The living room had been cleared of furniture so guests could dance if they wanted. Meg and Elaine danced their feet off, as they were the only women in attendance. My Ray and I did a tango demonstration for them. He was teaching me to dance.

*It amazed me how much Ray Vecchio looked like the mafia don he had once posed as. Sitting in a handsome leather chair, dressed in his expensive suit, with a beautiful animal at his feet (though I am loath to let Diefenbaker know I think of him in those terms. He would be insufferable for days), quietly lording over this gathering as if he was indeed a king. He was able to afford expensive things more than ever now, but with that ability to afford came the desire for quiet elegance rather than the ostentation he strove for when we first met. His tuxedo was Armani, as were most of his suits, but he was less a slave to 'fashion' than he was years ago.*

We celebrated, but I find my enthusiasm for the fresh start the day promises waning as night turns pale toward the dawn.

My Rays have gone to bed without me. I needed some solitude. Some time to reflect on what lies ahead for us. That reflection has caused a black knot to form in my center.

I fear for this new year. I have a sense of dread that I can't recall ever experiencing before. Something seems just on the horizon as I watch the snowfall through the kitchen window. Something dark. I only hope we can survive it.

VECCHIO
January 10th, 2002

Three days to the new moon, Detective. How is your work proceeding?

I glare at Diefenbaker and flop on the floor of my workroom/office. I've been practicing making my change to wolf a conscious one, a change not dependent on the presence of the Moon. It seems that my combined werewolf/vampire powers allow me to change at will, more or less, since I'd fed from all three of them. It dawns on me that this was where the stories of vampires changing into wolves came from. Obviously I'm not the first vamp to feed from a werewolf.

I've gotten better at the willful change over the last several months, but the presence of the Moon helps me focus my power to the task at hand. I still hadn't been able to change at the height of the new moon.

The practice exhausts me, taps my resources and makes me feed more often and more hungrily. It requires focus and concentration that I'm still developing.

"My work is proceeding like downtown traffic at four in the afternoon. It isn't."

You need to work harder. This is important.

"Look, Dief, I'm trying. I really am."

Do or don't do. There is no try.

"Thanks a lot, Master Yoda. Why is it so damned important?"

I just know it is, Ray. You have to trust me.

"I do trust you, Friend. But you're starting to get on my nerves. You want to tell me what's wrong?"

It's Fraser. I'm worried about him.

Is that all? I let out a self-sacrificing sigh that would make any Jewish mother proud. "Don't start playing mother hen, Dief. He's fine. The new moon is in a couple of nights. You know he gets kind of blue then."

Something's on its way to us. Something evil, I can feel it. He feels it, too.

I sit up, truly awake now. "You want to elaborate on that?"

I can't yet. But I can tell he's afraid.

"Yeah. That I felt. An extra bite to the air." I bury a hand in his fur, as is my habit when I'm worried. "What do you suggest we do?"

The only thing we can do. Watch and wait.

"Not the greatest plan you've ever had, Dief."

Even Yoda wasn't perfect.

FRASER'S JOURNAL
January 13, 2002

The sky is so black tonight. I feel a sense of abandonment so profound that I ache with it. I always feel the loss of Her during the New Moon, but this first cycle of the year it seems to me that She will never come back. That I will never look upon Her face again as the man I am now.

I have chosen to sleep at the apartment tonight. I don't want to subject my packmates to my despair and melancholy. They would only try and cheer me and that is not what I want.

A part of me revels in the ache of loss. It is familiar. It is what I know.

In spite of the feeling that I know our pack is right and whole and good, I am unused to constant affection from anyone but Diefenbaker for any length of time.

Hence, when this emptiness took me, I embraced it like an old lover. Perhaps that's exactly what it is. An old lover come to visit.

When she comes for me, I don't know if I'll have the strength to resist.

VECCHIO
January 14, 2002

I wake to the sensation of a tongue lapping at my ear. My eyes still closed, I inhale the scent of the being next to me before I decide that it's okay. I don't need to yell at Dief for frenching my ear because it's not Dief.

"Hey, Ray. What's up?"

"Me," he states with a wicked grin on his face.

"You couldn't have started sucking my dick instead?" I tease.

He licks my chin with a little flicker of his tongue. "I know better. Blood doesn't flow if you're not awake. Proper preparation and all that. If I want to suck your dick, you have to be awake first."

He kisses me, a full-blown breath-stopping, tonsil-swabbing, tongue-dueling kiss.

"Good morning," he says to me when he's finished.

"Yessir, it is." I lean into him for a slower, tenderer kiss. My body lengthens and stretches like a cat's as I move to press myself along his lean form. A luxurious moan enters my mouth as he gives me his breath, his sound.

I feel his need, tinged lightly with sorrow. I know that sorrow. We all feel it when the night sky is dark. Fraser usually likes to be alone, but Ray stays with me. I'm glad he does. It gives us some quality time together. His warmth feels good.

I don't ever get all the way cold anymore. Not since I fed from Dief the first time I changed. But being with Ray or Benny still feels incredible. Their warmth seeps into my bones, into my soul. Before them, I never realized how cold I'd been all my life, even before I died.

My alarm clock catches my eye as I arch my neck into his hungry mouth and I have to open my big yap.

"Not that I'm complaining, but shouldn't you be at work?" Wrong question. He stops what he's doing, kisses my shoulder and rests his head there.

"I took off a little early. Ben didn't show up to liaise this afternoon, so I thought he might be here. He must have gotten caught under the Ice Queen."

"Not funny. They almost had a thing, you know." I knew that sounded weak and stupid, but it was the only comeback I could think of. There was something wrong and it was throwing me off my game. Benny would never just not show up for something and not call.

"I know. It worried me a little, too. Hoped you could take my mind off of it, but I guess that ain't gonna happen." Ray sits up and punches a pillow before he puts it behind his head and leans back against the headboard. He crosses his arms and ankles. I watch the lines in his forehead deepen with frustration.

"You think something's happened." It's not a question. I can feel his doubt and consternation.

He shrugs and stares at his boots. "I just got a feeling, you know? Nothing concrete. No evidence."

Yeah. I know. "You been to the apartment?"

"Nah. I came here first. I'll go there next. He said that's where he was gonna go last night. Maybe he wasn't feeling good. He's been in a funk since New Year's."

"You're not the only one who noticed. I was practicing with the furball yesterday. Even he thinks something's gonna go down. Wish he knew what, cause I sure as hell don't."

I sigh and look at the clock again. Three thirty in the afternoon. Still too early for me to go out. But I'm up, so I might as well get some work done. I press the heels of my hands to my eyes to force the sleep out of them and flop against my pillows.

"You want me to make coffee?" Ray is looking at me with concern flashing in those bright blue eyes.

"Nah. You go check out the apartment. Call me if there's anything funky. I'm gonna hit the showers and then I have a meeting to prep for."

I kiss him on the forehead as I lean up to get out of bed. Kowalski grabs me by the wrist and makes me look him in the eye.

"I'm with Dief, Ray. 'By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.'"

"It must be evil if it's making you quote Shakespeare." I try to joke, but it's lame and it doesn't have the heart behind it. Our strength, our connection, our ability to take life a little less seriously than most is failing both of us mightily at the moment.

We both open up and let our fear show a little. Then I steel myself and put on my Pack Leader face.

"Benny and me, we've been through a lot. Whatever this is, with the four of us, we can beat it."

Kowalski takes me at my word. He gets up off the bed and heads upstairs, his boots thumping loudly as he takes the steps two at a time.

Somewhere deep in myself I know we're not gonna like what he finds.

KOWALSKI

It doesn't take long to get to the apartment and up the stairs. I can't remember how many lights I ran or what traffic violations I committed on the way. Frase would be able to tell me.

I can tell he's not there, but he's been there. His scent lingers in the air and on the surfaces in the room. I squint as I scan the living room and kitchen, looking for physical evidence of what he might be up to. My detective face is on and it's not going anywhere until I figure out what's going on.

I breathe deeply, opening my mouth, tasting something different on the air. Animal, but I can't place it. Dirt, sweat, some kind of fur that isn't wolf. Whatever it is, it smells like prey.

I plop down on the couch, which is where I do my best thinking, and that scent rises like a cloud around me. Whatever it is, it was sitting right here.

In my 10 plus years of being Wolf, I've learned that a lot of times there's more than meets the eye. I also learned that when energy makes the air prickle the hairs on the back of my neck, something or someone powerful has made an appearance.

It's not Ben's energy that I feel. That makes other parts of me stand up. It's whoever was here with him. For a minute I don't know whether to be jealous or afraid.

In about 15 minutes of sniffing around with my Wolf nose and looking around with my detective eyes I figure there's nothing else for me to find. I give up and turn to go when I see a small, leather-bound book on the counter.

I pick it up and flip through the pages to the last full one. Fraser's handwriting. The last entry dated the 13th. Yesterday.

I read the entry, feel his despair, want to wrap myself around him and tell him it'll be okay. I stash the book in my coat pocket and head back for the house. I try to make sense of what I saw and felt and read, but I know I'm missing a piece of the puzzle. Fingers drum on the steering wheel of the Goat while I drive, radio humming low to help my brain focus.

Before I know it, I pull into the driveway at the house. I head straight for the basement, knowing Vecchio and Dief wait there the best they can, which isn't very well. It's past sundown and Vecchio's hungry; I feel it. But he waited for me because he's as worried about Ben as I am.

I find them sitting at Ray's computer, Dief at Ray's feet while the resident vamp does some on-line records checks. Diefenbaker's head snaps up and I can tell he's scenting me. He growls low and looks up at Vecchio. I can tell he's disturbed by the way I smell.

"Dief wants to know where you've been. So do I. Something smells familiar but wrong about you."

"Just been to the apartment. Ben had been there. So had someone else. That's probably what you smell. I didn't recognize it."

Another meaningful look passes from Dief to Vecchio. It's times like this I wish I had that connection with the wolf. Ray's hand convulses in Dief's fur and his eyes go wide.

"Oh my god. That's the scent. It's her."

"Her who? That's no her I've ever smelled."

"Victoria."

That's all he needs to say. I know that name from Vecchio's files, from talking to Ben. Victoria Metcalf. The reason for the bullet lodged in Ben's back, the reason for Vecchio almost going to jail and losing his family's house.

The entry in Ben's journal makes sense now. We are officially in deep shit.

VECCHIO
January 29, 2002

We wait for Benny to come home that evening. I feel the sun set and then Kowalski comes home. It's still an hour or so before moonrise, but we're both getting worried.

"Maybe he'll meet us at the cabin."

"It's been two weeks-"

"Sixteen days to be precise." It makes my heart ache when he says that, not only because it's been so long with no word, but also because he sounds just like Benny.

"He'll change no matter where he is. Maybe it'll draw him to the cabin."

I feel a flash of hot, angry power just before Kowalski rears back and punches a hole in the drywall next to my desk.

I clench my jaw and glare at him. "You plan on fixing that?"

"I feel so fucking helpless."

"You think I don't?

"This whole damn calm thing you've got going is starting to piss me off."

"I'm calm because one of us has to be."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're out of control. This isn't just about you. It's about all of us. It's about the Pack. Now get over yourself." I roar at him and throw my power. It's grandstanding, I know, but he's fucking annoying me. Maybe now that he's seen me lose my cool, we can be civil to each other.

"Come on. Let's go. Moon's gonna be out soon and you need to eat."

That's better.

I know he hears me thinking and I mean for him to hear it. His power thrums low and steady and I know he's keeping it under wraps to show me he remembers his place in the Pack.

"Come on," I say as I grab my coat. "You're driving."

He bares his teeth in a humorless smile and follows me out, keys to the GTO jangling in his hand.

KOWALSKI

More than two weeks without Ben. We're no closer to finding him than we were the day he disappeared. Except for the fact that we know who he's with. Victoria fucking Metcalf.

We all agree there's something evil about her. She shot Dief, she set Ben and Vecchio up to take a fall for the money she stole, then had the power to make Ben turn his back on his best friend and his ideals.

I haven't even met her but I could feel it in the apartment, in the energy she left behind. I just wish we knew what kind of power we were dealing with. I really hate going into a fire fight without knowing what the other guy's packing.

I think about the way I've spent my nights lately. How fucking pathetic I've gotten, laying in the backyard at the house, crying up at the Moon, begging for her help. Christ, even Welsh finally made me take some sick days, even though he knew my monthly days off were coming. Fraser's disappearance hit more than just the Pack hard.

I haven't told Vecchio, but there have been days when I thought I felt tendrils of Ben's beast fluttering at the edges of me. Thing is, they're always gone so quickly I don't believe they're really there.

As I pull the Goat up in front of the cabin, Vecchio and I let out the breath we've been holding. As much as we'd hoped for it, Ben's not there. We'd be able to feel him if he was.

"Damn," I hear quietly from the seat next to me.

"Yeah. I know."

Dief lets out a whimper and I know he's disappointed, too. Still, I can feel him on edge, his fur bristling out from his body.

"Something's gonna go down tonight." I love it when I state the obvious.

"Yeah. I know."

The three of us go inside and Ray and I prep ourselves for our change.

VECCHIO

We change, our power expanding and filling the little cabin. Normally it's an occasion that fills the place with utterly abandoned joy. Tonight, with our power there is an ache of longing and loneliness. We are not whole. She can feel it, too.

Tonight, we exit the cabin, but we don't run. Not like we usually do. Our hearts aren't in it and we all believe She will forgive the fact that we don't worship as enthusiastically as we have in the past.

We make our way slowly to the clearing where we gather to lift our voices to Her, knowing our sounds will carry nothing but sadness into the night.

Just as we stretch our throats in preparation, a howl cuts through the silence.

Benny.

Kowalski barks and howls back, calling to him. He starts to bound towards the sound when Dief stops him.

Wait. Don't go to him. He's not himself.

*"How can you tell that, Fuzzface? It's Ben. He's back!"*

*"Ray, stay a minute. Wait."*

I lift my muzzle to the air and inhale, scenting the wind. He's already changed positions and we hear him howl again. Before I can stop him, Kowalski is headed towards the sound.

I turn toward Dief, then nod towards the grey wolf that's run into the forest.

*"Come on, Dief. Let's go."*

I'm not sure that's a wise idea, Friend.

*"You got a better one?"*

I don't get an answer. Dief just takes off following Kowalski.

It doesn't take us long to catch up to Ray. He's stopped just a few hundred yards into the stand of trees.

*"He keeps moving and calling, then moving again. When I felt you guys coming, I stopped to wait. Something isn't right."*

Another piercing howl cuts through the silence. I reach out with my mind, with my power, to try and get through to him, but I get no answer. He's closed himself off, or she's done it to him. When I still myself to listen to him, I feel and hear nothing but a sinister hum of power.

*"This sucks. I'm going after him. I'm tired of this shit."*

*"Ray, wait. I think that's what he wants."*

*"What is he doing?"*

*"I think he's trying to break us up so he can take us down one at a time. He knows he's a better hunter than any of us."*

Then we won't let him do that. If he wants to make contact, we should be all together and on our turf. Head for the cabin. We'll beat him there. Take a defensive position.

So we do. Now is one of those times when being a good leader means letting someone else make the decisions. Dief knows how to evade, how to track who was tracking us. He also knows Fraser's mind better than any of us.

I could smell him behind us, couldn't smell her anywhere.

We scrabble at the door, digging into the recess where a paw could flip the latch. Dief gets the latch and the door bangs hard against the wall as all three of us wolves push it open in our frenzy for a defensible position.

We turn to face the open door, panting from the run. There's the metallic taste of panic in the air and we all make the effort to center ourselves before Benny can get to us.

Ray, you need to change. We need an armed human.

*"What?! You want me to shoot him?"*

If I'm right, you won't have to.

Changing back to human form, even during the full moon, is simple. My body reverts to its natural form pretty easily, and I maintain my focus with little difficulty because She enhances my power.

I focus my being to my center and let the wave of icy power fill me. Fur recedes and limbs lengthen. Quickly, I gather the clothes I stashed there and dress, just in time to see Benny in wolf form burst through the door.

Claws skitter on the wood floor as he comes to a stop in front of us. He bares his teeth and growls at us. I draw my weapon and stare him down. On either side of me, Dief and Ray let out low, warning growls.

"Benny, it's Ray. You don't want to do this. You don't want her or need her. Please, Benny, come home." I was hoping pleading would get through to him.

He barks out a laugh and lifts his muzzle toward the open door. The rest of us scent the breeze that enters the cabin. She's out there, waiting. Waiting for him to get rid of us, to do her bidding. I don't know what it smells like to him, but to me it smells like pure evil.

I shift my stance and sight down my arm, aiming for the center of his forehead.

"Come on, Benny. I know you understand me. Cut your losses. Get out. If you do, you'll survive. If you come at us now, you're dead."

The Arctic Wolf Benny gazes at me, eyes sparkling as he considers his choices. Again he sniffs the wind for her command. He bares his teeth and snarls at me, challenging his Alpha. I stare him down, flanked by Dief and Ray. I growl back, curling my lips back and baring my vampire fangs, my gun still pointed at his head.

The three of us watch the stranger we know as Benny back out of the cabin and listen as he pounds away through the forest. To her.

My right arm lowers the gun, holstering it automatically. Suddenly I barely have the strength to stand, but I make it over to the door to shut and lock it. As soon as I feel safe, my whole body starts to shake and I sink to the floor.

Moments later, I feel myself surrounded by wolf fur as my remaining packmates try to comfort me. I hear Kowalski ask me what's wrong. I'm not sure if I can tell him that the last time I pointed a gun at Benny, I nearly killed him. Ray knows where the scar on Benny's back came from. So I don't say anything. I just clutch at his furry bulk and sob.

KOWALSKI
January 30, 2002

I drive us back to the house the next morning, Vecchio hiding in the trunk. Park in the garage so Ray can make it to the basement without getting a sunburn. Fuck, it had been a rough night.

I kept trying to get Ben to talk to me, couldn't get him to even acknowledge me beyond the fact that I was there and his mission was to trap me and kill me.

Okay, so I don't know that he was necessarily there to kill me or any of us. But I'd have to wait for Ray and Dief to get up so we could talk about it.

I've spent much of the morning laying on my back in mine and Ben's bed, lonely, trying to search the city with my power and talk to him with my mind. But I can't focus tight enough. I need food, need sleep, both of which I don't seem to want very much of right now.

It's been light for hours. With a heavy sigh, I realize I'm not going to get any more sleep, so I heave myself out of bed and pull on a pair of sweats. I pad upstairs to the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee, knowing both Vecchio and I will need it. As I listen to the drip of the coffeemaker, I try to make sense of what I'd witnessed.

Something caught my attention when Ben backed out of the cabin. He hadn't turned tail and ran, like a submissive pack member. He'd kept his eyes on us until he was outside, then turned and bounded off like he was being called. How did she get into his head? And how was she keeping us out?

"I don't know, man. I wish I did."

Vecchio regards me sleepily from the doorway to the basement stairs.

"I'm sorry, Ray. I didn't mean to wake you."

A wave of his hand tells me I didn't wake him. "You should be resting, too. We both had it rough last night."

"You had to make an extra change, had to hold human form against the pull of Her. You must be wiped."

"I'm tired, yeah. But you are, too. Why aren't you in bed?"

"I couldn't sleep." I don't have to say why.

"Yeah. Me, too." Vecchio glances toward the kitchen window. Seeing that I'd closed the blackout curtains, he comes over to the counter where I wait for the coffee to finish brewing. He flips the coffeemaker's switch to off and raises a cool hand to my cheek. Those green eyes flicker with concern.

"Come to bed. If we're going to get him back, if we're going to beat her, we need rest."

I close my eyes, dropping my head forward, fighting the fatigue I know he can sense. He brushes his lips over the ridges of my brow bones and then rubs his cheek against mine.

"Ray. Come to bed with me. We'll sleep better if we're together."

I feel his body arch against me subtly, understanding. He's right; we need sleep. We have to be at our sharpest to beat this bitch. I read the files detailing what she'd done to Ben and Ray.

I bare my neck to him, waiting for the cool tongue to travel the route of my pulse from my shoulder to my jaw. When it comes, I cradle the back of his head and push into him.

"Come on. A little comfort, a little sleep, then we get you fed."

"What about you? You need to feed, too. I could-"

"No!" he snaps. "You can't spare it now. Full moon. You need all your strength."

I place a soft kiss on his neck, my warm hands smoothing down his arms. "Hey. Calm down. I wasn't going to suggest that. I was just going to say that I could go with you right after sunset. To watch your back. We don't know what could happen."

"I'll think about it."

I know he will later, but thinking is over for now. He's got his mouth on mine and his tongue is sneaking past my lips.

God, I need this. We both do, if we're going to get past all the thoughts about Ben and rest our tired souls.

"Love you, Ray," I whisper into his mouth.

"Love you, too, Ray," he whispers back.

I know he wants to let go, wants me to let go, too. The worry and fear will cloud us, skew our judgment, make us forget we have more than Ben. We have each other. True as it is that Ben brought us together, we're not together because of him anymore.

Vecchio leads me down the stairs, across the open part of the basement past the bed I share with Ben most nights. I don't look, but I know it's there and I get a little distracted.

He can tell, and turns around so he's backing towards his bedroom, forcing me to keep my eyes on him. He slips a hand up my stomach and ribs to my chest, thumbing a nipple. My dick is definitely getting interested, my body zinging with the need for connection.

It's never been like this with us before. Tender and slow and warm, like stoking a fire so it'll burn all night.

I stretch myself out next to him on his bed, lying on my side to face him. I can feel the sadness wearing away at him, can see it in his eyes and feel it in his power.

I realize as I look into his eyes that it's my duty as a pack member to make him know he's needed, wanted. I need to make him know I love him for what he is, who he is, and what he does for us.

He groans as I roll the length of my body against him. With a grunt, he grabs both hands full of my ass and holds me still, pushing his hips into me, lining us up so our cocks brush each other. Then I understand. And it's what I need, too. Sweaty bodies clinging to each other, giving and taking pleasure and comfort.

He pulls me on top of him and we kiss and touch as we make love to each other, the sweet friction making us forget, making us want, making us feel something besides lost. We find a perfect rhythm and go with it, thrusting against each other.

I laugh as I feel his fingers skirting the valley between my butt cheeks. He's heeding the warning that no one gets my ass but Fraser. He's being careful. But I think about his beautiful fingers grazing my prostate and shiver. What can I say? I'm a bottom no matter how you slice me.

For a second Vecchio stops moving. Then he sees the heat in my eyes and feels me move his right hand deliberately to that sweet little pucker. I've never asked that of him before. A lump forms in my throat when I see the sparkle and the smile that wins me.

A naughty gleam colors his gaze and he moves that hand to my mouth, inviting me to suck on his middle finger. The taste of his skin is sharp against my tongue as I do my job and slick it up.

I hiss from the coolness of the slim finger as it presses into me, moving back onto it, then forward to meet Vecchio's hips again.

*"God."*

"You're too kind, Stanley. Too kind."

"Smart ass," I managed to grunt, humping myself on his fingers as another slips in and grinding against his hot belly and cock.

"Nice ass," he murmurs against my mouth as he massages the magic gland, making my hips move like I don't have any control over them.

But the position is awkward and we either have to give up the extra good friction on our dicks or I have to give up the fingers in my ass. Gently, I trail one hand along his arm until I find where our bodies are joined. I tug lightly on his hand and can see a question forming on his face. In order to quell any doubt about what I want, I buck hard with my hips into his, kissing him equally hard.

Taking his cue well, he gives my prostate one last press, making my cock leak a little, and pulls out, letting me settle between his thighs. I bring his legs up around me, pulling him as close as he can get, loving the feel of his cooler skin warming where it touches mine.

Instinct takes over and we ride each other, shifting until we hit just the right angle and we finally fit together perfectly. I can feel power bloom, can feel us both straining towards each other, towards coming.

Our power breaks the surface and melds and we come, pouring out our love and grief. We gentle each other down from our high; bring ourselves back under control, holding on to each other as our energy recedes back into our bodies.

Vecchio grabs a small towel from his nightstand and wipes us up. Neither of us likes to get out of bed right after sex. He lies back against his pillows and opens his arms for me and I snuggle into the hollow of his shoulder.

"I miss it, you know."

"Miss what?"

"Don't be dense, Vecchio. I miss your teeth. That connection when you fed from us. It was the most amazing thing I've ever felt. There's only one thing I can think of that might make it better and that's drinking from you."

"Kowalski, we are not going there!" The way Vecchio bellowed, I knew I'd said the wrong thing.

Fuck. I can't keep my damn mouth shut, can I? "Look, man, I'm sorry." I humble myself before my Alpha, getting out of bed and kneeling on the floor, bending my head forward in that signal of submission.

Vecchio kisses the back of my neck and places his hand over the kiss. His voice is soft and I can tell he regrets blowing up at me. "No. I'm sorry. Look, I'm just afraid of what it might do to you."

"You've thought about it?"

"Yeah. But it might change you. Make it so you have to live by night, like me."

"It doesn't seem so bad."

"You get to missing the sun sometimes." The wistful note in his voice makes me look up at him. I stand and gather him in my arms, kissing him lightly on the cheek.

"I won't bring it up again. I promise."

I nudge him back into bed and finally we sleep.

FRASER

I followed her call towards the morning sun. She waited in a small clearing several miles from the cabin. We intimidated them. The Alpha is running scared.

We'll punish them for loving me, caring for me, making me believe I wanted a life without her.

They can't match her cunning, her skill, her beauty.

I laugh as I feel the warmth of the sun on my ruff, feel her cold fingers burrow into my fur. It feels glorious, wonderful. I can't imagine that I've never felt this before.

The sun hurts my wolf eyes as I turn to face it. There is something awry in the universe, but I can't seem to bring myself to care or even wonder what it is. I embrace the hollow ache within me and turn to follow her receding footsteps.

KOWALSKI
February 5, 2002

I open my mouth, breathing so I can taste the air. I'm used to having Ben at my side when I track a suspect. He doesn't need to draw on his Wolf to do it. He just licks stuff he picks up off the ground.

It's tough working on cases without him here. We're a team, a lean, mean crime-fighting machine when we're together. But it's so hard to concentrate on work when I'm without my right arm.

I'm supposed to be working, but the minute I taste fur on the breeze, all thoughts about my caseload go out the window. I stop in my tracks in the middle of the sidewalk and concentrate on the part of me that's Wolf.

I know that taste, have spent the better part of the last four and a half years getting to know it intimately.

Ben.

Except it tastes like Ben and fur and that can't be. No way can he be wolf now, in the middle of the day and a whole week after the Full.

I turn around in a circle, get the direction of the scent and I'm gone. Not running, because I don't want to freak anyone out. I don't know what's waiting for me if I find him, but I walk as fast as my head-kickers will carry me to find out.

I only make it a couple of blocks before I turn a corner and his scent fills my nose and mouth. Down about half a block, a woman with dark brown hair and a fur coat walks a large Arctic Wolf on a leash.

I hear a growl and realize it's me. Bitch has my man on a leash.

The woman takes no notice of me. The wolf looks me in the eyes and I push my power at him. Just a nudge to let him know I know who he is. I think a piece of me breaks when they walk right by me without an answering nudge of power.

"Nice dog," I say just as they pass.

I can feel the evil pouring off her and rein in my power, wadding it up in a little ball at my center. I turn to them and she looks up at me, smiling with just her mouth.

"Thank you."

I look into her eyes and shiver. Her eyes are empty and cold and she has the smell of dead animals about her. And my dad thinks meat packers smell bad.

"Do I know you?" she asks.

"No. That is, I don't think so. I'd've remembered you if we'd met." I make it sound like flattery. "Can I pet him?"

She nods, but she still looks at me kind of funny.

I reach my hand towards Ben's head and hear a low growl escape his throat. He bares his teeth and the fur on the back of his neck stands up. I pull my hand back like I've been burned.

She yanks on the leash, shutting him up. Her eyes narrow at me.

"Are you sure we've never met?"

I stare into Ben's blank eyes for a second and then turn my face to her.

"I'm sure, lady. Listen, you better get him a muzzle before he bites somebody."

Before she has time to answer, I take off. I can't look at her anymore.

People say that eyes are the mirror of the soul. Well, if that's true, then she doesn't have one.

I shiver and hope to God they can't smell that I'm scared.

VECCHIO

I've been up for about an hour when I feel Kowalski pull up in the driveway. He's loud as he comes in the house and thumps down the stairs.

"Well?"

"Well, Vecchio, I got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?"

"You saw them." I knew it. I could smell it on him.

"Yeah."

"Is that the good or the bad news?"

"Neither. Good news is, she doesn't know me from Adam. Bad news, Ben's still a wolf and I don't know if he knows me either."

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean what do I mean?"

"What do you mean he's still a wolf and what do you mean you don't know if he knows you?"

Kowalski describes his little meeting from this afternoon. When he finishes, I look at Dief. I bury my right hand in the scruff of his neck and wonder how the hell we're going to get him back.

She has always had some power over him. She may be able to control his beast. Whatever she's doing, I don't like it.

"You and me both, Furball."

I let go of Dief and close the file I'd been working on. I'm not going to get any more work done before dark.

"Alright, Kowalski. You're our resident expert on shifting. What's it going to do to him to stay in wolf form this long?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

"I mean I wasn't exactly filled in on anything but the basics. The real basics."

"What do you mean?"

"You know, Vecchio, I'm gonna get really pissed if you keep asking me that."

"Look, I'm sorry. I just figured you'd have a little information on what it means to be a shifting wolf. If I remember, you're the one who's been supernatural the longest."

"Yeah, well, thanks for the props, but the cannibal Polack meat packer didn't give me a lot to go on."

Huh? "Cannibal Polack meat packer?"

"The guy who turned me. It's a long story. Takes about two hours to tell. But he didn't tell me anything but that I'd change once a month. The rest of it I had to figure out on my own. I wouldn't have made it without Mother Claire."

His voice sounds hollow and sad, so I go to him and pull him close for a minute. "I'm glad you did."

"Thanks."

I listen to his breath, feel his life beating and flowing through him, hoping it will bring me some focus and inspiration. After a couple of minutes I give up, sighing against his shoulder.

"You got any ideas? Cause I'm fresh out at the moment. We need a little help and I don't know anyone who deals in magic or otherworldly beasties. Who the hell are we gonna get to consult on this?"

I feel Kowalski tense in my arms, not from fear or alarm, but from awareness of some kind.

"Damn, why didn't I think of it before?" Ray's manic energy forces him out of my arms so he can pace. He runs his hand through his hair and shakes his head.

"Ray, what is it?" I ask. I can't feel anything that might be a threat.

"I think I know someone who might be able to help."

"Wolf? Vamp? Some other beastie?"

"Jerome Lafarrette."

"That supposed to mean something to me?"

"He's a voodoo priest. Ben and I cleared him of attempted murder charges a couple of years ago. He was under the control of a white man who practiced the black side of the business. Jerome's not a beastie, but he knows a lot about 'em. Maybe he can help."

"It's worth a try."

"I'll set up a meet for tomorrow night."

Fraser

I know his smell. It says 'mate' to me.

I feel the brush of power, the brush of fur, but I ignore it. This is not about him. This is revenge against the man who kept me from her, the man who would have killed her.

There is no reason for him to be harmed. He had nothing to do with that. He was not part of our lives then. If he becomes aggressive against her, things will change of course, and he will be added to the tally.

But for now, she doesn't need to know him. He has done nothing to wrong her. Only Ray Vecchio and the wolf must pay for their interference all those years ago. They will pay with their lives.

I'm hungry. I need meat. And blood. Soon. She tells me I'll feed soon.

VECCHIO
February 6, 2002

We pull up to this warehouse in a part of town I haven't visited in a very long time. Kowalski and Dief get out of the Riv and I follow them, my skin prickling with the power I feel in the air. This is definitely the place.

A woman, short, wrinkled and a little bent over, greets us and takes us to some sort of meeting room. She smiles at Kowalski and rattles her jewelry as she greets him.

"Detective."

"Mama Lolla."

"You've gained and lost much since last we saw you. You've lost your mate and he lost his Daddy."

"Yeah. That's why we want to see Jerome. This is-"

"The undead. But not a killer. You and not you. Pleasure to meet you, Detective Vecchio."

"How did she--?"

"She just knows. She's tapped in. Right, Mama Lolla?"

"You got that right, Detective. Now you settle yourselves. Jerome's putting Marie to bed. He'll be out in a minute."

The small, wizened woman leaves us alone. Kowalski takes a seat at the table, but I pace, unused to the energy in the room.

"You nervous, Vecchio?"

"No," I snap.

"Don't get all defensive. If you're not used to the magic, it's kind of freaky at first. Just wait till you meet Jerome."

Jerome Lafarrette walks into the room and I feel the energy change around us. Stronger energy and calmer at the same time.

Dief lets out a sound between a whimper and a growl, approaching the magic man.

"I am well, thank you, Wolf Friend. You honor me with your presence."

"You understood him." I don't make it a question. I know exactly what Dief said.

His eyes narrow at me a moment, as if he's measuring me, checking me out. "I speak with many animals. This Wolf-Friend kept me safe during a trial. As did Ray, the man who was you and not you, and the Mountie. Mama Lolla tells me he is lost."

I nod. "We were wondering if you could help us, Mr. Lafarrette."

"I will do what I can, Detective. And please call me Jerome."

I sit and he regards us with calm attention.

"Tell me."

Between Ray and I we tell Lafarrette the whole story, everything we can think of that might be relevant. Mostly he listens, only very occasionally asking a question. He seems very interested in Benny remaining in a form contrary to his nature (his words).

"There is magic at work, though without seeing him I can't know exactly what."

"It's definitely Black. Even I could tell that."

"Don't discount your magical abilities, Ray Kowalski. You understand much more than you realize."

A spark in Jerome's eyes sends a shudder through me. He pulls at Kowalski's Wolf, making Ray's eyes flare yellow. Ray just nods at the priest and lets his power recede again.

I let my power out a little, not sure I like the idea of other beings calling my wolves. We stare for a minute or two, Dief and Kowalski watching the stand-off. Then Jerome nods like he understands and the meeting moves on.

"Dief and I have dealt with her before, Jerome. We know just how evil she can be. She's cunning, fast, ruthless, lethal. Benny's been under her power before. This is just the first time there's been some kind of magic involved."

Jerome sits thoughtfully for a moment, then asks Kowalski for something personal of Benny's that he could use. Ray brought the ratty cable knit sweater Benny usually wears out to the cabin when we change. Now I know why.

"Ray Vecchio, you and our Wolf-Friend will observe. Ray Kowalski, you will participate."

"I don't know, man. This is a little beyond my expertise, if you know what I mean."

"He will answer to your power, you are his mate and he is yours. If we are to gain any knowledge tonight, I need your help."

I feel Ray decide even before it shows on his face. I let my approval show in my face. He smiles at me nervously, glad that I think he's doing the right thing.

There's a small pit with an iron grate in the center of the cement floor and Jerome throws some sticks and some leaves in before he touches a candle to the tinder. Instead of burning bright, the fire smoulders. Scented smoke clouds the air.

We sit around the pit, each of us on a side, Jerome opposite Ray, Dief opposite me. Jerome cuts a small piece of Benny's sweater and puts it in the fire. I don't smell anything but the acrid odor of burning yarn, but I see Kowalski's expression change. I nudge my power into him to see what is going through his mind. He smells Benny.

Suddenly a flash of electricity slams into me and my awareness of Kowalski cuts off abruptly.

"You mustn't interfere, Vampire. Leave him to do his work." Jerome. Jerome's power. For the first time since we arrived, I feel what he's kept harnessed and hidden. I also understand that he accepts me only because of my associations with Benny and Ray and Dief. Otherwise, he'd see me as an enemy.

Jerome and Dief and I watch Kowalski go into some kind of trance from the scent of the fire and the mojo from Benny's sweater. He growls under his breath, but I can't tell what's going on in his brain. Not knowing just about drives me crazy, but as soon as I'm ready to go ballistic on the voodoo man, Kowalski comes out of it.

"They'll meet us on the new moon. In the clearing by the cabin."

"You had a vision?"

"Something like that, I guess. I had to change into a wolf to get anywhere with him. It's like he didn't recognize me as a human."

"He cannot or will not hear his true self."

"Can't or won't; what's the difference?"

"A great deal of difference. I cannot tell if it's willful or coerced."

"But at least we made contact. We'll get a chance to settle this once and for all."

"I think you are right, Ray Kowalski."

Jerome stands and brushes some imaginary dust from his knees. I take it as a hint that it's time for us to go.

"Thank you for your help, Jerome. We do appreciate it."

"You lead your Pack well, Ray Vecchio, but you need to allow your wolves room to run on their own. You leash them almost as tightly as she leashes the Mountie."

As much as it irks me to hear, I know he's right. My idea of taking care of them is doing everything for them, like it always was with my family. It's changing, but old habits are hard to break. So I nod and take my medicine.

As we turn to go, our Pack moving as if we were one person, Jerome stops us with a hand on Kowalski's shoulder.

"Come back when this has passed, Ray Kowalski. We have much we can teach each other."

Kowalski smiles at Jerome and then turns back to us. We walk out shoulder to shoulder, with Dief trotting at our heels. Jerome will see us again. But not until after this nightmare is over.

KOWALSKI
February 12,2002

The week passes like pure torture. I barely make it to work every day. Welsh puts me on desk duty because he knows something is up. He also knows better than to ask about it. The less he knows the better, especially in this case.

The night finally arrives and we all pack into the GTO and head for the cabin. No weapons, nothing but us and a big cloud of sick-feeling hope that we steel ourselves against.

Still, I can't stop the ache deep in my gut when we get out of the Goat and see them in the clearing, that demon in woman's form with my Ben sitting at her feet like a pet.

It hurts to see him in wolf form when the night is black like this. Two weeks since the last full moon. It's the height of the new moon, She's gone from the sky and he's still Wolf.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Wolf Ben, but I love human Ben, too. I only hope we can get him back.

He hasn't been fed recently. He's lost weight and his look is mean and hungry. It looks like she's slowly starving him. Even in his wolfy state I can smell the dark odor of a body feeding off itself to stay alive.

"Benny!" Vecchio bellows. Ben's ears barely flick at the sound. He avoids looking straight at us. Instead he turns toward the female figure standing next to him.

Dief growls and that gets Ben's attention. Then all of a sudden what Jerome said comes crystal clear.

VECCHIO

I stare at Benny and that Demon Bitch. It's all I can do to keep my rage under control. He doesn't answer to his name and I feel a black desperation settle in my center. Then the bright warmth of Ray's power hits me as he touches my shoulder.

"This is what Jerome meant by not hearing his true self. He doesn't understand you. If you want to talk to him, you'll have to change."

Shit. I know he's right, but that doesn't make me feel any better.

"I guess this is where my training comes to its test, huh?"

"I think it has to, man. You ready?"

"Doesn't matter. I gotta do it." I look down at Dief, into those ice blue eyes. "Okay, Master Yoda, help me out here."

You don't need my help, Friend, but I'm here.

I wouldn't even attempt this if I was facing her alone, but I know that she won't try anything with Ray and Dief there. She'd be stupid if she did, and I know she's not stupid.

I focus on that spot in the middle of my forehead where I feel myself center when I change. I feel my brow furrow; feel my eyes start to tear with the effort of concentrating my being on that tiny spot.

Several times I get close, feel myself become a tiny spot of ice as my body tries to change around me. I can feel her, feel them all watching me, expecting miracles from me.

I come back to myself aware of Dief at my side, trying to be encouraging. I look up at Victoria, see her smirking at my struggle. I strike out, hit her with a blast of my coldest power. She doesn't even flinch.

"You know, I had a friend visit you while you were in Las Vegas. I didn't think you'd be able to turn this one to your advantage, Vecchio, but it looks like I underestimated you. In that instance, anyway."

I think about it for a minute, then I hear French-accented English in my head. *"I'm thinking of debts paid and the irony of my life."* Rene, the guy who turned me, was a friend of Icky Vicky's.

For some reason, the knowledge that she brought this to me, that she thinks she's completely fucked up my life and it's turned out to be the greatest gift, gave me my pack, that knowledge pushes me past the block, past the bump in the road.

I focus my being to an icy point and my fur starts to flow. Dief is right. Do or don't do, there is no try.

*"You do that a lot. Underestimate me, I mean. It's gonna get you killed. If not tonight, then someday. That's a promise."*

I get a steely look from her and a menacing growl from her pet.

*"Benny, listen to me, please."*

*"Nothing to listen to."*

*"This isn't you, man. You're not whole, not complete, without us."*

*"I am complete with her. We both knew that long ago. You had to shoot me to keep me here."*

*"You don't believe that, Benny."*

*"It's the truth."*

*"Her truth. Not ours."*

FRASER

Ray is correct. It is her truth, but it is the only truth I can speak to him if this is to play out the way I intend.

The betrayal I've effected upon my pack is unforgivable. I deserve the punishment I endure at her hands. Atonement for the pain I've caused.

I have done the unforgivable, challenged and defied my Alpha. If I have to pay with my life to right the wrongs against him and my Pack, that is what I must do.

KOWALSKI

Ben and Vecchio stare each other down. I know they're talking, I can feel it even if I can't hear what they're saying. At least Vecchio can talk to him and understand him.

Dief sits and watches, his hackles up, his whole being on alert.

The tension in the air forces me to look away before I blow a gasket. It's hard for me to stand by and not do anything, even if it's not my place to. Or maybe because it's not my place to. Either way, this is one time when remembering my place in the pack really sucks. I feel like I have to do something, so I do the only thing I can think of. I throw a desperate prayer up into the black sky.

My scalp starts to tingle about a moment before I see her. A beautiful woman with silvery blonde hair braided down her back. She's dressed in simple, dark blue pants and shirt that fit close and won't get in her way. The only really strange thing about her is the bow in her right hand and the quiver of arrows at her back.

You were my first child in this Pack, Ray Kowalski. Don't be surprised that I come to you. It is your call to help your mate that brought me here.

Wow. That was fast.

"Mother Claire?" I ask uncertainly. She doesn't look like Mother Claire, but She's come to help. I'm Her child. It must be Her.

"I am Diana, the Huntress."

The old fashioned word gets me for a second, but then I understand. Diana, from Roman mythology. The goddess of the moon and goddess of the hunt. A tough, kick-ass chick.

"I have gifts for you, Ray Kowalski." With an elegant shrug, the bow and quiver slide from her shoulders and into her outstretched hands.

"Look, lady, I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I've never shot a bow and arrow before. Couldn't you give me a gun instead?"

"She has no power over you, My Hunter, but she has great power over your mate. It is your Alpha's place to Challenge for him, to win him back, but they do not have the power to overcome her."

"You think I do? I'm low man on the pack totem pole. What am I going to do? What I am going to do with this? I can't believe she'll just let me draw on her with this thing."

"She wants revenge for her pain. You were not part of that. Her hatred of them blinds her to you. When the time comes, you'll know it."

Diana smiles at me, touching the bracelet on my left wrist and making the moonstones glow dimly. "He is Ours, Ray. He does not belong to her."

She disappears, fading into the blackness of the night. The sharp crescent of bow gleams in my hand. I turn back to the night's festivities and watch, hoping to hell I'll know the right moment when it gets here.

FRASER

I look at My Ray, tall and slim and blonde in the moonlight, and he seems to glow with power. Then I see beyond him the figure of a woman, and in her a reflection of Ray, bathed in silver light.

The source of my power, the source of my self is there in him, in Her.

Something inside me breaks apart at the sight of him holding a bow that looks like a lethal crescent moon.

Help me, Ray.

A mournful cry escapes my throat and Dief and the caramel wolf known as Ray Vecchio echo that cry.

Wolf Ray steps forward and turned his muzzle towards Victoria, baring his teeth and growling. The Challenge.

Her eyes tell me that she has sensed my plea of my mate. Yet she still has the power to control me. Her will is that we fight. So I turn to my Alpha and bare my teeth, powerless to resist her.

VECCHIO

I manage to duck his first lunge at me, but he's strong and he seems to know how to fight this way. I'm not gonna be able to do this on my own.

As I duck another pass from Benny, I see a woman, glowing silver light around Her, standing by Kowalski. As quickly as I glimpse her, she disappears, but deep in my center I know who it is. It's Her, our Goddess. I can feel Her presence, and for a second I'm so glad that this is going down on a night that She's not in the sky that I want to howl with relief. She came to us, visited us. Suddenly I know that we're not doing this alone. We have each other and we have Her and that gives me a little more confidence to face the errant member of our Pack.

Still, I have a hard time fighting Benny. He's got instincts both human and lupine that I never had. I need an expert opinion on this one, so as I keep trying to dodge Benny, I open my mind to Dief.

*"Help me, Furball. Tell me what to do."*

He has defied you, Alpha. You have to punish him. Blood must be shed. It is our way.

I try not to think about the anger and malice I feel in his thoughts. His anger is like mine, directed toward Benny for the betrayal. But his malice is only for Victoria.

*"I don't know how to fight. I don't know what I'm doing."*

You do, Friend. Listen to yourself; listen to the Wolf inside you. Trust that what you are doing is right and necessary.

Benny and I circle each other, growling. He lunges again and this time he hits. I feel a nip on my left flank. Blood shows on his muzzle. We circle again until he sees another opening, this time closer to my midsection.

His strength is cunning, mine is a pair of Chicago-street-fighting balls. Cunning is great when you have time to plan and strategize, but a hefty set of balls can overcome a lack of skill when it has to.

I let him come at me again only this time I don't duck. I open my mouth and roll to follow him over. Then I close my teeth on his throat and hang on.

KOWALSKI

I can't believe my eyes when I see Vecchio's maw latch onto Ben's throat. A low growl from Ray and a yelp from Ben cut through the night.

I feel panic flutter in my chest, but it's not my panic. I look over at the other observer and see that it's hers. She doesn't betray it in her face, but the sour smell of fear is pouring off her. Dief smells it and stands at her feet, teeth bared and growling.

I finally see what I need to do.

"Dief!" I call him to me and he comes to stand by my left side.

With Diefenbaker at my side, two wolves in combat at my feet, I seat the butt of an arrow on the bowstring. Brown eyes turn towards me as I raise the bow in my outstretched left hand. I push fiery power at her, growling. The blast pushes her back, exposing her and leaving her open. The arrow grows hot, drawing on my power, as I hold her with my stare.

As good as catching crooks, taking down a murderer, putting a mob boss in jail. This is my strength, this is what I do, this is what I give to my pack.

"You've messed with this pack for the last time, Bitch."

I pull the bowstring back to my right shoulder and let fly. The glowing arrow pierces her heart and streams of darkness pour from her as her body shrinks and implodes on itself.

I look at the place where Victoria Metcalf stood and barely recognize the little ball of dead wolverine lying on the ground in her place. No wonder she smelled like prey.

VECCHIO

It's easy to come out of it once she's dead. Like pulling the cord on an inflatable lifeboat, I release my control and revert to human form. Ray covers my shivering body with my overcoat, relinquishes his own to cover Benny.

I get the tremors under control and rein my power in, slipping into the sweatpants he hands me.

I hear cries of pain, half wolf, half human from the form next to me. Benny's trying to come out of wolf and back into human, but his body's been wolf for so long he's having trouble.

The first time my body tried to change, the pain was excruciating. My cold body couldn't flow the way it needed to. But Benny's already warm. He doesn't need the extra heat to change. Oh, Goddess. Fear and panic rise in my throat when I realize I don't know how to help him.

"What do we do, Dief? Ray?" I'm at a loss and feel for a moment as if I've failed my Pack horribly. But Kowalski steps towards his mate and kneels, laying the bow and quiver on the ground next to them.

Kowalski takes the tip off one of the arrows in his quiver and I see that it's made of moonstone, glowing blue-white with his power. He places the arrowhead in Benny's half-formed paw-palm and squeezes, making blood flow.

"You need to feed from him, then let him feed from you. He's too weak to make the change without the help."

"But what about - I don't want to make him a vampire."

"It's the only way, damn it! Do you want to lose him?"

I remember what Jerome Lafarrette said about letting my pack members run, do what they do best. I also remember him saying that Kowalski knew more about this stuff than he gave himself credit for. I don't want to lose Benny anymore than he does. So I bend to the half-wolf, half-man and do what I'm told.

I look into Benny's face, pale, half-covered in fur stubble, and see his eyes. Benny's eyes pleading, full of hurt and sorrow and regret. I see resignation and then he bares his throat, submitting to his Alpha, ready to accept his fate.

I lick the blood from the cut Kowalski made with the moonstone arrowhead. After that first taste, it's easy for me to bend towards Benny's throat and take his blood, feeling his heart push the mouthfuls of life into me.

Taking Benny's life into me, I see him at Fortitude Pass, huddled against the elements with her, fearing death. Flashes of nights in his apartment in Chicago, the slam of a bullet in the center of his back. Unconsciously, one of my hands finds the scar from my bullet and I hold him tighter to me.

The last thing I know from him is the night he disappeared. She tried to get him into bed. They fought. She lashed out like a caged animal. In that moment he saw a way to end it, to keep her from us. He let himself be changed, be controlled, in the hope that it might save his pack from her. Benny.

I listen to his heart, feel the pounding slow a little. I release the bite, but I leave the mark as testimony of his transgression against the pack.

Ray has his Bowie knife out and I take it from him, slicing up my forearm from my wrist and holding the dripping arm under Benny's nose.

Benny smells the fresh blood, his blood and mine, and attacks my wrist, holding it to his mouth like the dying man he is. As he drinks, his body starts to reform and after a moment the hands that clutch my wrist are completely human. I calm down a little as I feel his heartbeat strengthen and steady.

It seems to me this is a pack moment, not just a Benny and me moment, so as I pull my wrist away from Benny, I turn to Kowalski. He wants this, I know, but after I blew up at him, he won't ask for it.

"Ray," I croak, holding my healing wrist out for him. I look into his eyes and he understands. Taking my arm in both hands, he bends reverently to kiss it, worrying at the closing wound with his tongue, suckling as it opens to him, as I open to him.

I sigh as I feel the pull of life from me, into my packmates. A furry snout nudges Ray away from my wrist and Dief laps at the wound as it heals. We cling to each other for a moment, all of us exhausted.

I feel a little wolfy lick on my cheek just before I hear Dief in my head.

Rest now, Friend. You've done well.

I don't know how long they let me stay out before I feel two pairs of hands shaking me awake. We need to get home before the sun rises. Kowalski ends up supporting both Benny and me as we make our way to his car. Dief sprawls across Benny's lap in the back seat while I slide into the front passenger's seat.

Kowalski doesn't get behind the wheel right away. Instead, he opens the trunk of the GTO and pulls out a plastic garbage bag. He goes back to the little lump of gray and black fur in the clearing and dumps it in the bag, tying a knot in the top of the green plastic to seal it closed. Silently he places the body and the bow and quiver in the trunk and then finally gets into the car and starts it.

I look at him and don't have to ask the question. He just answers.

"We're gonna make sure she never comes back."

I nod and let my head sink back against the seat. Benny dozes in the back, his body aching from the torture he's endured. I can't keep my eyes open as I feel the car hit the highway and I know we're going home.

FRASER
February 13, 2002

The first sensation I'm aware of upon waking is skin, bare skin against my bare skin. Then there is the almost awkward length of my limbs. Relief at seeing my human form again. Then safety, because I am surrounded by my pack. Lastly, all of it overridden by overwhelming shame.

I open my eyes to survey my surroundings. We crowd in the bed in the open part of the basement where my Ray and I sleep much of the time. I lie between my mate and my Alpha, who hold me as if I would disappear of they let go. I desperately want to get out of bed, to escape this feeling that I no longer belong with them.

I need out, I need away, I need them, I need absolution.

My hand involuntarily goes to my throat, trying to massage away the ache from the lump of emotion settled there. My body tenses as I feel the lump of scar that is my Alpha's mark. It will fade in a few days, I would imagine, but the presence of it now reminds me all too clearly of my punishment and the price of my survival.

In my memory I can feel his mouth on my neck, remember the agony of my half-wolf, half-human state and the heat of our mixed blood flowing over my tongue and helping to heal me. My Alpha could have killed me, could have let me die for what I inflicted on the pack. Yet he chose to save my life. I don't understand why. WHY?

"Because we love you, Benny. Because I know what she was and I couldn't let her win. Killing you would have meant her victory, no matter whether she lived or died."

"But I went with her again. I betrayed my Pack. It is well within your rights to kill me for what I did to the three of you."

"Benny, listen to me. Whatever personal guilt you carry around for what happened with her, you don't have to play Pack Martyr. I've made my decision as your Alpha. The rest of the Pack has accepted that decision. It's your duty to accept as a member of this Pack."

"I know." I sit up and scoot to the edge of the bed. Leaning forward, I rest my elbows on my knees and press the heels of my hands to my eyes. "It's difficult."

Ray Vecchio rises to his knees behind me and wraps his arms around my shoulders, holding me to him. "I know it is, Benny. It took us a long time to recover from her the last time. But we did. We will again. This time we know we won."

His cool lips graze my shoulder and his arms tighten around me just before the first spasm hits me. "I'm sorry." I manage to choke the words out around my sobs.

Warmth on my left side, touching me, kissing my tear-streaked face, licking the salt from my cheeks. My mate. Cold wolf nose against my bare leg. The love and acceptance engulfs me. They let me cry myself out, their presence and touch giving me the safety I need to finally let go of it, of her.

My packmates begin to touch and explore, their beasts reaching for mine. Ray Vecchio puts his mouth to my neck, his cool lips like a balm on the healing bite. Ray Kowalski growls softly in my ear, the sound soothing, yet I choke on a sob.

"Shhhh, Ben." I hear Wolf in his voice. "It's over."

Diefenbaker retreats to a corner of the basement while my other packmates continue their exploration of my body. They have missed me, are happy to see my human form, happy touch it again.

Their gentle touches and soft growls rouse me to reciprocate, to touch and kiss and suckle and lick, for in truth I have missed them, too.

Instinct takes over as my body seems to arch and stretch towards their hands, their mouths. As I try to take an active part in our lovemaking, they push me to the mattress. They are welcoming me back, seeing to my pleasure now that the pain has passed.

Sit back and relax, Benny. No use fighting us. Besides, you know you love it.

I laugh, loud and long. Ray is teasing again and that is as sure a sign as any that we are beginning to heal.

I gasp as their joined hands cover my erection and they lean over me, kissing each other. I sense the worry and fretting that my absence caused, sense that they have grown closer in their search for me. They smile into each others' eyes, mischief gleaming.

Somehow I find myself cradled against Ray Vecchio's chest, his erection pressing into my lower back. My Ray is draped over my lap, his mouth closing over me. Ray Vecchio grinds into me, my sweat making the small of my back damp against him. My Ray takes himself in hand as he swallows around me, making my hips leave the bed of their own volition.

I feel my Ray's climax approach as his rhythm around me stutters, matching the ragged pulse against my back as Ray Vecchio goads himself towards orgasm. I let myself become engulfed by my packmates' pleasure and their power until I, too, lose the battle of control and loose myself down my Ray's throat.

We gentle each other as we rearrange ourselves, me again at the center as if they cannot bear to let me go. My Ray kisses me, letting me taste myself on his tongue.

"Living well is the best revenge, Ben," he says as he snuggles up to my left side.

We drift for a little while, dozing in our post-orgasmic haze. My attention, however, becomes captured as sunlight begins to peek through a broken place in the blinds over the small window in the far corner. I cannot keep my body from tensing at the sight.

My Alpha follows my line of sight and I feel an icy spike of power flare in him.

"Take care of him for a minute, Kowalski. I'll be right back." Ray Vecchio lifts his lithe body gracefully from the bed and pads to the small bathroom at the far end of the room. He carefully avoids the corner where the bright band of light gleams on the cement floor. As I look at that light, I realize what woke me was the sunrise. I had felt it deep in my center as surely as I feel the moon.

I continue to stare at the light in morbid fascination. Ray took so much of me into him, fed me so much of himself that I wonder if I will feel daylight on my skin again.

Silently my Ray and I hold each other until Ray Vecchio returns, holding a towel he's soaked with cold water.

"Take him to the window."

In spite of the commanding front, I feel my Alpha's fear cut an icy path through me. None of us know the consequences of what happened last night. We're all afraid of what that small strip of sunlight might do to me.

"Have the towel ready in case he burns."

Diefenbaker whines and rubs against my legs in a show of concern and support. My Ray laces his fingers with mine and apprehensively we approach the window.

Ray Vecchio squints as the blinds open. My Ray keeps hold of my hand as I lift it to the bands of light entering the room.

My hand jerks involuntarily as the light warms my skin. Only after I remain for a moment do I realize that I don't burn. The light is brighter, the heat of it more than I remember, but there is no smoke, not even a pinking of my skin.

I feel my Alpha's relief as palpably as my own. My mate smiles into my eyes and strokes my face as my tears flow once more. I expected to be caught in a dark world, to be banished from the daylight for my transgressions. I shake my head, dumbfounded.

"But I felt the sun rise."

Ray Vecchio snorts a laugh from his safe position on the bed. "Benny, you rose with the sun before you were wolf. That's always been a part of you. No reason that should surprise you. Maybe it's just a little stronger now than it used to be."

Releasing my Ray, I return to the bed where Ray Vecchio sits. The blinds close as I kneel before the bed and bend my neck to expose my throat. Cool fingers, moist lips, the hardness of teeth against my skin, then a loving kiss on my mouth. I chance a look into those green eyes and see relief, love, and finally the germ of forgiveness and joyful acceptance that we are again together, whole and safe. That it is finally over.

"It's not over yet," I hear my mate remind us. "We have to do one more thing before it's done."

DIEFENBAKER
February 28, 2002

Our Lady has left the sky in the blackness of early morning after Her last Full night.

By the light of the burning bones of our enemy, I watch as my pack mates. So much hurt, so much pain that needs to be erased.

It felt glorious to run during this Full, together and whole again for the first time since the year turned. But they need this, too. They need this bonding in pleasure as much as we needed to run and hunt together these last three nights.

The more time I spend with my human wolves, the more I understand how complex they are. No matter the depths of their personal power, they require reassurance and validation from their kind.

Herbs and flowers grace the fire. White sage, the most sacred variety, to cleanse our lives of the evil that visited us. Lavender to sweeten and calm, cedar to strengthen and bind.

They do make a striking picture, the golden light of the fire making their skin glow. They sweat and strain as they pleasure each other. Soft human sounds mix with the occasional growl as the Alpha and the Fair One cocoon our Dark Soul between them. The Fair One takes the Dark Soul into his body as the Dark Soul accepts the Alpha into him. They love and protect as they commune in their joyous ritual.

My heart smiles as I remember my mating years with a distant fondness. As a pup, one never expects to be beyond those desires. Perhaps they never will be. Their desire for each other has nothing to do with procreation. My drives were always linked to the furtherance of my line. For the rest of my pack it is communion, protection, comfort, love, warmth, affection.

I move to the remnants of their feast, picking my way over the empty wine bottles, sniffing the plate now completely devoid of the steak tartar it once supported. I nose through the detritus in search of dessert, knowing that a pastry lurks for me somewhere nearby. Successful in my search, I lie down well away from the writhing forms of my packmates and enjoy the sweet, sticky, cherry-filled morsel.

As my attention turns back to my companions, their bodies arch and tense as they find their completion, howls piercing the relative stillness of our surroundings.

Their pleasuring over, I feel them call to me to join them and I do as they ask. The familiar coolness of my Alpha's fingers burrows into my coat and I lick his cheek in greeting and permission. I know what they ask of me tonight and I want this as much as they do.

Lying on the ground, I roll to my back and arch my neck, submitting to my Alpha. For the first time since his initial change to Wolf, his sharp teeth mark me and my blood flows into his mouth. He repeats the action with our other packmates, taking only a mouthful from each of us. But it is enough for this.

With a silver-handled dagger, a gift from the Voodoo Man, he slits his own skin above his heart and offers himself first to the Dark Soul, then to the Fair One. I move to lick the blood that seeps from the wound as it seals itself. We share Pack Blood tonight, making our bond ever stronger.

The sky will begin to lighten soon and we will need to make our way to shelter to protect our Alpha from the sun. The effort to save the life of the Dark One does not keep him from the sunlight, though he is more sensitive to it.

The danger is still more than an hour away, so for a little while we curl around each other, nothing more than a drowsy pile of pups. I feel warm hands in my fur, warm bodies at my back. It is good, we are good and whole again.

They begin to stir as the sky moves from indigo to dark blue, signaling the end of our worship. As the human wolves raise their voices to say goodbye to the night, I open my throat and bay to the brightening sky, thanking my Goddess for my Pack.

The End
Copyright September 2002 by JennyB.

End Chicago Pack by JennyB.: buehler67@yahoo.com

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