Author's webpage: http://victoria.tc.ca/~wy236/fic.html

Author's notes: Response to the challenge "Write a story containing elements of paganism."

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All Souls' Night
by Iris Gray

Benton Fraser and Ray Kowalski stood in the small cemetery and studied the plaques in front of them. "Robert Fraser" said one, and the other, "Caroline Pinsent Fraser." "So this is them," said Ray. "Your parents. Is this really the first time you've ever been here?"

"The first time since my father's death," Ben corrected. "After he died, I was too busy finding his killer, and then when I did, I was not too popular up here, so I remained in Chicago. You know the rest," he added with a hint of a sad smile.

"Well, hey, if it hadn't been for the 'rest', I'da never met you," said Ray cheerfully.

It was October, and the two men had decided to take a hiatus from their search for the remains of the Franklin expedition to work on Ben's father's cabin, attempting to make it habitable for the upcoming winter. Much of the work had been done before they arrived, thanks to some of the elder Fraser's friends, but there was still some final winterizing to be done.
"That is true, Ray," said Ben. "I don't regret that."

It was about the closest Ray had seen his friend come to an emotional declaration. It made him feel warm, despite the distinct chill in the air. It was Sunday, and Fraser had declared it a 'day off,' and suggested they take a trip in to town. They had ended up at the cemetery, where Ben had showed Ray his parents' graves.

"Well, you got the guys that killed them," said Ray. "Gerrard and Muldoon. So the two of 'em can rest in peace, now."

"Yes. They're together now," answered Fraser with a faraway look on his face.

"Ya think so?" asked Ray.

"I know so," said Benton. "And one day, I will join them as well."

Ray shuddered. "Not for a long time, I hope."

The Mountie shrugged. "You never know. The North is capricious. A change in the weather, a shift in the snow pack, a crevasse such as the one we fell in to, and it's over."

"You act like it's no big deal," said Ray accusingly.

"To me, it isn't a big deal," replied Fraser. "I have no ties, no family, not even a job at the moment. My only responsibility is Diefenbaker, and up here, he would be able to fend for himself quite well - either return to the wild, or join someone's team of sled dogs. "

"I'd look after him," muttered Ray quietly.

"That is kind of you to offer, Ray, but I believe he prefers being here to being in Chicago."

"So who says I'm going back to Chicago?" asked Ray with a hint of anger in his voice.

"I just assumed..."

"So don't assume! You say you've got nothin'. Well, whaddaya think I have? When Vecchio took his life back, he took my life too. My job. He took Stella, even! Okay, I got parents, but they can do without me just fine. My brother's always been the golden boy to them. All I got...all I got is you, Fraser. An' if anything happened to you...if you weren't here...I don't know what I'd do."

Fraser stared at his friend - his partner? He didn't know if Ray and he were really partners anymore, since they no longer worked at their previous jobs. "Ray..."

"Don't, Fraser. Don't say anything, okay? I'm all right. I just...I never thought about what I'd do alone. "

"You'd survive, Ray. You always do."

Ray stared at the ground, afraid to look Ben in the face, afraid he'd revealed too much already. "Maybe...but I don't know if I would want to," he finally said. "Look, I'm goin' for a walk. I'll meet ya back at the cabin later."

Fraser watched his friend - his love - walking away. He'd never told Ray how he felt, not knowing if Ray would understand or accept his feelings, and he hadn't wanted Ray to feel trapped with him. Suddenly, he knew he had to go after him. If he didn't take the chance now, he might never have it again. He started to run. "Ray!" he called.

Ray turned to look at him. "Fraser, I told ya, I'm fine. I just have to be alone for awhile, okay?"

"No," Ben answered.

"No? What do ya mean, no?" asked Kowalski, bewildered.

"No, it isn't okay. You shouldn't have to be alone. Nor should I. We belong together."

Ray didn't want to hope that Fraser meant what he thought he meant. He didn't want to put his feelings on the line. But if he didn't...what then? Perhaps he would be doomed to be alone forever. "Together, Fraser? Together how?" Better to get it out of the way now, before winter came, and there was no way to leave if his feelings weren't returned.

"In every way," said Fraser. "As friends, as partners...as lovers. If you'll have me." Putting his hand under Ray's chin, Ben lifted the other man's face until their eyes met. "Will you?"

In response, Ray snaked his arms around Fraser's shoulders and drew him in for a kiss. "Does that answer your question?" he asked when he could breathe again.

"I think that was a very good answer," replied Benton with a grin. //I don't think I've seen him smile like that before// Ray thought. //I like being the cause of it// Ben seemed to suffer a sudden attack of shyness because he looked at the ground and rubbed an eyebrow with his fingers. "So...what now?" he asked.

Ray looped an arm through his partner's. "Now we go back to the cabin and finish what we just started."

"And after that?" asked the Mountie.

"After that...what? I don't get what you mean."

"What does this make us? What are we to each other? I know that - that I love you - I suppose what I want to know is, what do you want? Do you want to stay here? Do you want to apply for Canadian citizenship? We cannot get legally married...if we could, that would make the immigration process easier."

"Fraser - Benton - Ben. I love you, and if I could marry you, I would. D'you think there's anyone up here who could marry us - even if it isn't legal? Like in a symbolic way?"

Fraser looked at Ray, hope in his eyes. "Does this mean that you want to stay?" he asked.

"Do I want to stay? Yes, I want to stay! Ben, you're everything to me. Wherever you are, that's where I belong. You're my home."

Fraser didn't say anything for a long moment. Instead he just held Ray in his arms. Finally, he said, "I don't know who could marry us, but I do intend to find out. I want to marry you, Ray Kowalski. I want us to be together always." At that moment a pair of Canada geese landed nearby and started browsing on the cemetery lawn, not paying any attention to the human drama taking place a few steps away. "Look at the geese, Ray," said Ben.

"Yeah, so they're geese. What about them? They must be on their way south for the winter."

"Did you know that geese mate for life? Sometimes two male geese will form a pair bond, or two females. They even raise chicks together. I just think that is very symbolic."

Ray smiled. This was Fraser being romantic, he decided. And he liked hearing about the geese. He took Fraser's hand in his, lacing their fingers together. "Cmon, Benton-buddy. Let's go home."

"Home, Ray?"

"The cabin. We keep calling it yer dad's cabin, but it's really yours now. And, well, I kinda hope that it will be *ours*. If that's okay with you."

"It's more than okay. It's what I have wanted for a long time," replied Ben.

Ray and Ben spent most of the next few days in *their* cabin, before Fraser finally emerged to try to find someone who could marry the two of them. He tried the local churches first, and struck out. While many Canadian churches had a fairly progressive attitude toward same-sex marriage, most left the decision about whether or not to perform such ceremonies to the individual priest or minister, and unfortunately most clergy who were willing to do resided in the larger cities further south, not in the Yukon. Then he tried the Inuit communties and again had no luck. Many of the Inuit still held to the religious traditions instilled in them by the white missionaries in the last century. The ones who did not, who held to the old ways, were sympathetic but stated that their religious ceremonies were for natives only, not open to white people. However, one shaman pointed Fraser toward a group of townspeople who followed traditional pagan and wiccan beliefs. The holy man believed that there was a pagan priestess who performed handfastings for just about any couple, regardless of gender.

Ben located the wiccan priestess and arranged for himself and Ray to meet with her. Ray was unsure what to expect, but was relieved to discover that this pagan high priestess was in fact the town librarian. "You do not have a lot of experience with those who follow non-Christian religions, do you, Ray," Fraser teased his partner when Ray confided his reaction to the priestess.

The priestess, who gave her name as Raven, asked the two men exactly why they wished to marry. Ray answered first. "Because Fraser is everything to me," he said. "He's my partner, my friend, my lover. He's - okay, this sounds corny, even to me, but he's my soulmate. Most of all, I want to marry him because I love him."

Raven smiled. "Those sound like excellent reasons to me. Constable Fraser, what are your reasons for wishing to marry Detective Kowalski?"

Fraser rubbed his eyebrow. "I wish to marry Ray because I love him. I want us to be joined if not legally, then at least symbolically. I wish to declare my love for him in front of witnesses. I want everyone to see that Ray and I have chosen each other as life partners."

Ray was impressed. He didn't often hear his lover talk like that, at least not in front of other people. Ben was quite reticent when it came to feelings and emotions. He hoped this new openness would continue.

"Both of you have given very good reasons for wanting this handfasting," smiled the priestess. "Now, for my part, I must tell you that all handfastings that I perform last for a year and a day. After that time has gone by both partners evaluate their relationship and determine if they wish for it to continue. If for any reason they do not, they are released from their bond with no obligation on either of their parts. If they wish to stay together, I perform a second handfasting.

"Now, when and where do you wish your handfasting to take place? Who do you wish to be present? Do you plan to write your own vows, or do you want me to prepare something for you to say in advance?"

"Ray and I have decided we wish the ceremony to be performed on Halloween - Samhain - in the cemetery where my parents are buried. Not only is Samhain the beginning of a new year, it is also the night when the walls between the worlds are thinnest, and I hope that may allow my parents to be present in some way."

"There are some alive people we're inviting too," Ray added.

"Yes," continued Fraser. "My sister, Maggie, our friends Mark Smithbauer and Innusiq, and RCMP Sergeant Buck Frobisher."

"And anyone in your, er, coven? who wants to come, too," said Ray.

"Mark Smithbauer? The hockey player?" asked Raven.

"Yes," said Ben. "We grew up together. He retired recently and returned to our childhood home in Tuktoyaktuk. "

"All right, we have a time and a place, and guests. Now, what about the vows?"

"We will write our own," said Fraser. "Yeah," agreed Ray. At first, when Fraser had suggested they write their own vows, he had been somewhat reluctant, but he remembered that he'd never had that chance with Stella, and he'd regretted it. And he didn't really like formal 'wedding' vows. He'd told Fraser he was a poet on the inside, and this was his chance to prove it.

"Very well, gentlemen. We will meet at sunset on All Hallow's Eve. Blessed be."

Fraser nodded. "Blessed be," he said, and Ray echoed him.

The night of the handfasting arrived, cold and overcast with a possibility of snow. Diefenbaker seemed quite excited, running around his two human friends, barking and prancing. Fraser hoped he didn't get hold of any chocolate tonight. Ray had been quiet all day, which was quite unusual for him, but they had both been in a reflective mood as their wedding day approached.

They saw that an altar had been set up near the two Fraser headstones. Candles and lanterns burned all around. A boom box had been set up nearby, and a tune by Loreena McKennit celebrating All Souls' Night was playing. "Welcome," said Raven as she came to meet them. "The walls are thin tonight. I hope your parents will be present, in spirit if not body."

"...candles and lanterns are dancing, dancing a waltz on All Souls' Night...." the music poured from the stereo.

Fraser was wearing his red uniform. Ray simply wore a sweater and jeans. He was no longer a cop, so he didn't have a dress uniform. He had wondered what he should wear, and Fraser had told him to wear whatever he felt most comfortable in. They had bought rings which they were going to exchange during the ceremony.

The priestess called all the participants together and cast a circle. Then she recited the invocation:

" Lord of the Spirit, Ruler of the Tempest, call our breath to your

service. Let us Inhale your violet winds from the East, smelling

the airs of knowledge and intuition as they move with our blood

until we are full. Sense of the Eagle, Sense of the Hawk, Sense of

the Owl, be of a like mind. Let us fly on your winds, enjoying the

breath of the earth, and be free.

     Lord of the Fires, Master of Strength, call our eyes to your 
     service. Open their windows wide, to see things both veiled and

revealed. Let naught be hidden here. Let us see with the innocence

of a child, the love of all parents, and the wisdom of Elders as we

     look on the world which is ours. Eyes of the cougar, eyes of 
     the dragon, be our eyes. Let your vision set our hearts aflame 
     with energy, spirit and life.

Lady of Spheres, Ruler of the Deep, call our mouths to your

service. Bring full our emotions and bless our tongue, we pray. Let

us taste of your healing waves as they fill our souls. Tongue like

a sea rush, tongue of the salmon, let us know you as we swim at

your side in this well of creativity.

     Speaker of Mysteries, Mother of Earth, call our hands to your 
     service. Awaken these tools to touch all the wonders you grant.

Let

     them caress both mountain and shore, cave and grove, feeling 
     texture and each. Hoof of the Caribou, Paw of the Lynx, Hands of

the

Healer, be ours. Let us touch you full as we grow, in rich moist

soil togeather.

Lord of Darkness, Lady of Stars, call our ears to your service.

Transform the way we listen until truth and beauty are known. Open

your ears to all the sounds, within and without, above and below.

Let the sphinx ask her riddle, and our answer be love. Ears of the

Wolf, Ears of the Rabbit, be our ears. One step beyond time shall we

listen to both sounds and silence, finding unity.

These promises you make by the sun and the moon, by fire and water,

by day and night, by land and sea. With these vows you swear, by

the God and Goddess, to be full partners, each to the other. If one

drops the load, the other will pick it up. If one is a discredit to

the other, his own honour will be forfeit, generation upon

generation, until he repairs that which was damaged and finds that

which was lost. "

She then handed Ray and Fraser each a candle.

"Your separate lives are symbolized by the separate candles you now bear. As you join their flames to make one flame, know that at that moment you are willingly joining your lives forever. Is this what you wish?"

"It is," said Ben.

"It is," said Ray.

She then took a cord and bound their hands together.

"Likewise, this cord is a symbol of the lives you have chosen to lead together. It has been woven to symbolize the intertwining of your lives. Up until this moment you have been separate in thought, word and action. As these cords are tied together, your lives become intertwined.

"As the right hand is to the left hand, may you be forever one, sharing in all things, at home and abroad, in love and loyalty for all time to come.

"Benton, repeat after me:

By seed and root, by bud and stem,
by leaf and flower and fruit, by life and love, In the name of the God and Goddess
I, Benton take thee, Ray
To my hand, my heart, and my spirit."

Ben repeated the words.

"Ray, repeat after me:

By seed and root, by bud and stem,
by leaf and flower and fruit, by life and love, In the name of the God and Goddess
I, Ray, take thee, Benton
To my hand, my heart, and my spirit."

Ray did so. The priestess then removed the cord from their hands and lay it on the altar.

"But you cannot always be physically joined and therefore the exchange of rings is one of the deepest symbols of a marriage. It is a constant reminder, a shared touch between two people. The circle is a symbol of the eternal. To give a ring to someone you love is to say that your love has no beginning and no end. You may now say your vows and exchange your rings."

Ray had chosen to go first. He took Ben's hand and placed a simple gold ring on the fourth finger. "Ben," he said. "I give you this ring as a symbol of the love I have for you. You are my lover, my friend, and my partner. Your face is the last thing I see when I close my eyes at night and the first thing I see when I open them in the morning. When I met you, I knew that I had come home. You are my love, my life, my home. I will stay by your side for the rest of my life, and after, if possible."

Then it was Ben's turn. He placed the gold band on Ray's finger. "Ray, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love for you. Because of you, I am no longer alone. You have shown me what true love is. You have given yourself to me freely and unselfishly. We have shared our breath, our bodies, and now we share our lives. Thank you for being my lover, my partner, and my friend. I will be your partner always, in this life, and in any lives to come."

Raven gestured to the person who was running the stereo to play a song that the two men had chosen for the ceremony. It was called "Samhain Night."

"When the moon on a cloud cast night
Hung above the tree tops height
You sang me of some distant past
That made my heart beat strong and fast Now I know I'm home at last.

You offered me an eagle's wing
That to the sun I might soar and sing
And if I heard the owl's cry
Into the forest I would fly
And in the darkness find you by.

And so our love's not a simple thing
Nor our truths unwavering
But like the moon's pull on the tide
Our fingers touch, our hearts collide
I'll be a moonsbreath by your side."

Raven turned to the couple. "By the power of the God and Goddess, I now declare that you are partners in life. I bid you exchange a kiss. May you be one forever." She then instructed the two of them to jump over a broom that was held by two coven members to complete the ritual. Slightly awkwardly, they did so.

She then turned to open the circle.

"We thank you, Aphrodite," she said, "for your presence among us, and as you take your leave, we ask that you leave among us, in each of us, the ability to each be densual lover, and desirous one. Hail and farewell.

"We thank you Eros, for your presence here this night and ask, as you take your leave, that you leave in each of us, the ability to be a bringer of desire, and kindler of love. Hail and farewell. "

She opened the circle, and the ritual was complete.

Ben and Ray mingled with the guests, always holding tight to each other's hand. There was eating, drinking, and dancing until the small hours of the morning. The party eventually broke up and the couple said their farewells and prepared to return to their cabin. Just then, Diefenbaker started barking. His body quivered as he pointed toward the trees at the edge of the cemetery.

"Do you see them, Ray?" Fraser asked.

"A Mountie and a beautiful woman? Yeah, I see them. That your mom and dad?"

"They are. I think we have their blessing, Ray."

Ray slipped his arm around his lover's waist. "That's greatness, Ben. I'm glad. Now let's go home and we'll see if you can carry me over the threshold."

Fraser squeezed Ray's shoulder and raised his hand in farewell to his parents. The two partners left the cemetery.

The ghosts of Robert and Caroline Fraser smiled as they watched their son and son-in-law leave to begin their new life.

END

"Samhain Night" by Loreena McKennit,
From the album "Parallel Dreams"
(c) 1989 Quinlan Road Music

"All Souls' Night" by Loreena McKennit
From the album "The Visit"
(c) 1991 Quinlan Road Music

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