Copyright © Lady Ana

Ratings: R, Slash, drama m/m, angst, AU

Pairings: BF/RV

Challenge: For the Blood Challenge as set by thecloset

Summary: Written for the Blood Challenge as put forth by TheCloset. What if Ben did leave with Victoria, only to have her return him to Ray after six months? Will he accept Ben back? Will he try to kill Victoria? Both?

Disclaimer & Note: Copyright to Alliance Rated R Drama, angst and (definitely) AU, Pairing: BF/RV, I was hoping to submit this for the Blood Challenge as put forth by TheCloset, but I can't find the bleeping requirements list at the moment! do believe(hopefully!) I got this right! (If not, I'll blame it on the allergy medicine I've been taking.) Comments to Lady Ana.

by Lady Ana

The letter came on Friday to the station. It was a peach envelope, penned in dark green, the writing holding a feminine quality. The paper inside complimented the ink, also lined in a brownish-forest hue. Vecchio carried the letter to his desk, not truly caring about the contents. But that was the way he felt about most things these days, now wasn't it? He laughed, the sound coarse. He knew that was how one protected one's self from a painful experience, to cut yourself off from feeling too much of anything.

It scared him how good he was getting at that. That is, it would if he allowed himself to feel the fear. Maybe that was why, upon reading what the letter had to say, he chuckled cynically. He glanced around. No one was looking at him. He shrugged. It was about time, he knew. About time for them to start forgetting. About time for them to leave the past behind and move on to a healthier frame of mind, a simple dismissing the pain the past held. They used to let their eyes follow him, filled with regret and sorrow. He was almost glad they were getting on with their lives. Sarcastically, he mused they should reserve their grief for the one who needs it most.

Five months, twenty-three days. So, *that's* how long it takes to break a Mountie. It had been that long since Fraser had left with that beautiful witch of a criminal. Vecchio would forever hear the shot from his gun ring out, only to glance off the side of the train, the look of utter horror on Fraser's face, as if he thought Ray was *trying* to hit him. Or even worse, shock that Ray would actually kill the bitch who started it all to begin with. Those simmering pale blue eyes, triumphant; that smile, pulled into a tight (dare he say?) victorious line. She had him, she would forever have him. He was hers. It was at that moment a part of Ray Vecchio's soul died, upon realizing the Canadian was gone. And he wondered now, looking at the elegantly composed message in his hands, what difference did any of it make?

It took Fraser leaving to make him face his life alone. Did the ex-Mountie returning, after being torn to shreds by that woman, really change things? Of course not. He didn't even glance at Lt. Welsh's door before making a mental note when and where to meet Victoria, as per the letter's instructions.

The restaurant was busy. Ray causally walked in as if he were going to order lunch for the day. Metcalf acknowledged his presence with a knowing look. The detective made his way over to the table slowly, watching her all the while. She took in the hardened features, the tired expression and knew Vecchio had gone through utter Hell after Ben left. There was a definite look of loss about the man, not too mention the barely controlled loathing. It was more than obvious it would take little prompting for the man to snap her neck in two, right there in front of everyone. All this from losing Fraser to her? Was there something she was missing? It was, of course, pointless to speculate. He sat down, his eyes storming with pain and hatred, but remained silent. They both did. It surprised her when the waitress came that Ray ordered lunch. For two.

"Thank you, detective, but I'm not here to eat."

She was met with the world's most inviting, dazzling smile. With the waitress still standing there, he surrendered the menu, the-forest-in-summer eyes still twinkling, his voice as smooth as venom.

"When are you going to get it through that fucking beautiful thick skull of yours *anything* I do isn't for you?!"

The waitress turned away, with Victoria a tad shaken by the man's callous demeanor. Of course, not that she let it show.

"You also said you'd kill me if I hurt Ben."

"That's because I missed on the platform." There was pause before he spoke again. "Where is he?"

"Out back, waiting." Her expression softened a bit. "I'm glad you came, detective. I know you won't believe me, but I didn't know what else to do. I felt this was best."

Her eyes locked with his. She shuddered deeply. For the first time in a long time, Victoria became very afraid. Ray leaned in, his voice low and raspy, his pupils mere pinpoints in a sea of excited green. This was a man who had been pushed to the point of not having much to lose.

"What makes you think I'm here to take him back?!" he snarled.

It took a few seconds for the mask to return, with her trying desperately to believe Ray Vecchio would not shoot an apparently unarmed woman in a crowded restaurant. At least the detective she knew six months ago wouldn't. She cleared her throat before speaking again. It was obvious, however, he'd gotten to her.

"I wouldn't try anything, Vecchio, especially after I've turned Ben over to you."

"Why? What army of torked-up men is going to stop me?"

Her smile was genuinely sad.

"Ben would."

Ray laughed darkly.

"He does anything you say, huh? Why doesn't that shock me?"

Her anger was rising at Vecchio's acerbic behavior.

"Then why *are* you here, detective?!" she snapped.

Ray was unfazed.

"What am I supposed to do? Let you kill him now that you're bored with him?"

She opened her mouth to continue the argument, but she quickly realized that was what he wanted. She stood.

"Goodbye, Vecchio. I've done all I can."

He shrugged, that ear-to-ear grin coming back again.

"At least there are no corpses this time, Vicky. You're slipping."

She gave him a hard look, still unsure about this severe, dark change in the ex-Mountie's best friend. There was no denying she was glad to get out of there, with Ray's eyes still lingering on her skin and trailing her back, knowing he was looking for a good place to aim his gun.

Ray turned the corner to the restaurant. Facing the other way, he was there, dressed in a brown jacket, black blue jeans and a sweater. Old tennis shoes donned his feet and he looked like fifty miles of bad road. Not surprised, Ray called his name, *the* name he'd given him.

"Benny."

Fraser froze, then turned half-way around. Ray couldn't be sure, but he thought Ben might've mouthed the words, "Thank God."

"Hello, Ray."

"Hi."

"She's gone." Ben stated.

Another sad chuckle from the cop.

"Yeah, Benny, the bitch is gone."

Fraser's questioning eyes met his.

"Sorry to disappoint you." Ray concluded.

Slipping on his gloves, Ray fought to say something else, but decided against it. Ben noticed the gloves. They were grey suede, made for driving. Very nice. Very expensive. They encased his long fingers quite elegantly.

"Let's go, Fraser."

"Yes, Ray."

Once inside the Riv, the silence was so palpable, it even began to get to Ben. Ray hadn't said more than ten words to him and it was apparent he felt it wasn't necessary to say more.

"I...don't know what to tell you, Ray." Ben began. "She told me she'd have you killed if I left her. I believed it. I let her...have me...anything she wanted...for as long as she wanted. I knew I had to. The only thing that kept me going was the thought you were safe and waiting."

"Waiting for what?"

There was true curiosity in the Italian's voice. Ben turned to him, startled.

"W-well..." Ben stammered, "That you were waiting for some kind of contact from me or her. I didn't think it'd take this long, honestly."

"*What* are you talking about, Fraser?!" Ray snapped.

Now, Ben began to look *really* scared.

"Waiting, Ray, for me to come back, to return and complete my plan, as I said I would!" There was true fear in his words.

"Didn't you get my letter!? The one on Dief's cage?"

"Oh, I got a letter, Benny. I got a letter that said you had a plan. But you know what it didn't say? It didn't say, 'Oh, by the way, Ray, my best friend, I'm running off with her! Tough luck on all the *shit* I've left you to face alone! That's my plan, Ray.' Huh. Did you even say goodbye in it? No, you didn't."

The ex-Mountie had gone deathly pale, his voice shaking.

"T-that's because...m-my God, Ray...you actually t-think..."

He wrapped his arms around himself and held on tight, becoming even more distraught upon realizing Ray simply continued to ignore him until they got to Ray's house.

"Why did you bring me here, Ray?"

"They wouldn't keep your apartment unless someone paid the rent. I...couldn't do that and save the house, too. I got all your stuff and Dief outta' there, though. Besides, if it's good enough for her, it should be for you, too."

"I can't do this to you, Ray."

The coldness inside the car dropped about ten degrees from attitude alone.

"You already have, Fraser."

"Damn it, Ray!" Ben yelled, the outburst barely reaching the Italian. "Do you really believe I left to be with her?! I left because I knew she would never leave me, or you, alone! She had to extract her pound of flesh, *my* flesh, before she would feel vindicated. Now, I know she won't come back, now that I've done what she wants."

There was an almost lyrical quality in Ray's words.

"And you did everything she wanted, right?"

There was a long silence before Ben answered.

"Yes."

He then got out of the car, unable to stay next to Ray, after admitting such information. Ray followed, but not too quickly. Slipping off his gloves, Ray asked, quite causally, "And just what did you do for her, Fraser? Did you break the law? Of course you did. Probably got her hot to watch you do it."

He laughed slightly. Ben was shocked, but answered him anyway.

"I did what she wanted, Ray, because I know what she wanted was my ruin. Yes, I ceased being the person you knew while I was with her, but I *had* to! I had no choice. I...did all that and yes, you're right, it did excite her to watch me slowly die inside."

His voice reflected his grimace, the disgust.

"But, then I had to *service* her, to add further insult to injury."

He slumped against the house. Tears welled up and he let them fall, not caring anymore.

"I...can't believe you actually thought I ran away to be with her, Ray. I...told you, in the letter I had a plan, that I knew what I was doing."

Ray looked at him a little softer, but not much.

"Yeah, Benny, that you did say. But, you didn't exactly elaborate. Man, I could've killed you on that platform."

"I know. But Ray, if I told you I was going to go with her, knowing she could eventually tire of me and that I'd be back...would you have believed me?"

There was a flicker in those green eyes. Finally, Ben thought, he seen a shadow of the friend he used to know.

"That's a good question, Benny. I guess I would've...I don't know."

"And now? Do you believe me now?"

Ray sighed.

"Again, I don't know. Let's take it slow, okay? Maybe later, we can talk about it more."

Ray turned and walked to the house.

"Ray, how did you keep the house?"

The Italian stopped. His voice was cold. He surveyed the gloves as he spoke.

"You're not the only one who broke the law while you were gone, Benny. Oh, sure we tried to do it right. Everyone got jobs, even Tony. But Ma's feet were killing her and Maria didn't have anyone to watch the kids. Plus, there was Internal Affairs to deal with. But, I knew that wouldn't happen."

"What...wouldn't happen?"

"Prison, Benny. I...took steps to make sure that I didn't end up there."

Now, Ben was confused. Whoever Ray was referring to would have to be quite powerful, especially to be able to lend him money, prevent his incarceration *and* keep I.A. from ruining his career.

"But, Ray, who do you know has those kinds of connections? Who'd...able...oh, Ray...God, no, please..."

Fraser swallowed hard, his blood turning to ice. He couldn't look at his friend anymore, the guilt was so overwhelming. He knew what Ray was about to say, but he couldn't let himself think it. The Italian barely acknowledged Ben's reaction.

"Zuko didn't rub my face in it too much, actually." Ray quipped. "He gave me the money, saying how he was sorry to find out what a bastard you were. But, I paid him back. Not with money, of course, but we're even, he and I. I got some stuff on him, just in case he decided to feed me to the dogs. He keeps his nose clean and I leave him alone. And these," he remarked, holding up the gloves, "are the only present to myself. They cost a fortune, but I thought, why not? Frankie even taught me a few things. I found out even evil people can be generous and that I'm no different than he is."

"God, Ray, that is NOT true!"

"What in the *Hell* would you have had me do, Benny?!" Ray screamed. "I couldn't take watching Ma cry every night, or watch Frannie put up with a job where the boss likes to put his hands on her just because the money's good!"

"I know. Of course not."

"Damn straight." Ray retorted. "We're even, too. Right, Benny? I overlook your fun with the psycho-bitch and you keep it quiet I worked for Zuko. Understand?"

Another voice, one distinctively familiar, startled both men.

"I'm not sure if I like that proposal."

She viewed the two of them with pure hatred, gun in hand. To Ben's surprise, Ray became infuriated.

"What in the *FUCK* are you doing here?!"

He started towards her.

"Ray, no! Don't go near her!"

Victoria raised the gun a little.

"Careful, Vecchio. I am still undecided who I'm going to kill first. Don't rush me."

Ray stopped, but raised his hands only modestly.

"It took me a while to figure it out, but when I did, oh, God...it made me sick!" she seethed, shaking with anger.

She viewed the detective with pure disgust. He just smiled slightly.

"Then, I hear this little speech of yours, Ben. Are you so fucking clueless you don't even know *why* he came to get you back!?"

"What are you talking about, Victoria?" Ben inquired.

She laughed a little.

"I had to ask myself why would the detective be *so* torn apart over losing you. Look at him, he looks like his lover died! But, you see, Ben, his lover didn't die...he just ran away with me."

Ben gaped at her accusation.

"That's absurd! It's not possible! Ray, tell her! Tell her...you...don't...love...me."

Ray hadn't turned around. Ray hadn't budged an inch. He just continued to survey the vixen before him as a panther would size up his next meal. Victoria continued, loving the devastating effect it was having on both men, even though it nauseated her as well.

"Then, I realized what the detective's plan was. He'd *save* you from me, then take you as his own. You'd live out your lives together, happy and free, while I'm still on the run!"

She was losing it, the last bit of her control was slipping, she hated the Italian so much.

"God, Ben, can't you see?! I'd rather see you dead than...as his *bitch*."

"Oh, man!" Ray said, smiling. "You *are* too much!"

He lunged, his form a grey streak of lightening.

"Ray, no!" Ben screamed, his heart freezing on the spot.

The detective whipped around her easily, winding up behind her. He pointed the gun at her throat, using her body as a shield.

"Drop it, Benny!"

Ben blinked slowly. His eyes trailed down his own arm to his wrist. He held the gun loosely, stunned beyond words.

"Vecchio..."Victoria said, her teeth gritted. "You do realize even if he misses and shoots me, it will still kill you?"

Ben *was* just a few feet away. What she said was true. The Italian lightly nuzzled her hair while he spoke.

"As long as I know you're going to Hell with me, Beautiful, I don't mind. Death is a small price for that kind of heaven."

Ray waited, while Fraser stared at the gun he held like it was a glowing, three-armed baby alien.

"What's it gonna' be, Benny?! Me or her?!"

"Do it, Ben! Kill him!"

Screaming pale blue eyes bore into him, matched only by the hazel ones, where the light inside had mostly died. *He* had caused this. He was the reason Ray had nearly lost the house and had to grovel to Zuko for help. He was the reason Ray almost went to prison. He was the reason Ray's family had nearly been torn apart. He was the reason all those crimes had been committed with Victoria, making sure she couldn't get caught or identified by outsmarting the police.

"Ray, do you really love me?" Ben shakily asked.

"I did, Benny. I don't know about now. But...even I wasn't sure I did until you left." Ray answered honestly.

Ben cringed, the news was so hurtful. He knew the pain of that loss would be so great to Ray, Ben couldn't bear that kind of remorse. Tears welled in his eyes. He hated himself, hated everything he'd done. He despised the minute portion of his soul that enjoying being with Victoria the entire time, savoring the abandon, indulging his dark side that was rarely, if ever, seen. He even admitted a small part of himself rejoiced while he ran for the train. The look of contentment on his face as he slid into her arms was genuine. So was the look of naked fear when the bullet grazed the side of the train. It was a stark reminder of just who and what he'd left behind. The sound of sirens echoed in the distance. In a matter of minutes, the police would be here and any decision he had to make would be taken away from him.

"Benny? I asked you a question."

Ray's was prepared to stand there all night, if need be. He also would do what it took to once and for all see her blood all over the place.

"Yes, you did, Ray."

He knew he'd probably never be a Mountie again. It was all he knew. How could he ever even imagine being anything else? Ray had every right to never forgive him. Yet, here he was again, bringing pain to the only one who truly cared for him. And how could he live with himself for all he'd done now and while with her? The answer was simple. He couldn't.

"And I choose neither of you."

He turned the gun on himself. Ray's breath caught in his throat.

"Goddamn it, Fraser! This is not a time to be selfish!"

Victoria saw her chance, blindly slamming her heel into Vecchio's foot, who screamed and almost let go, but not completely. She grabbed the gun and they struggled. A gun went off. Or was that two?

"You bitch!"

Vecchio roared, placing his hand over the spraying wound in his arm. The redness soaked through his shirt and coat instantly. It drenched his entire side in a cloak of bright cherry in seconds. There was blood all over Ray, on the ground, on Victoria. He felt weak, so weak. He violently pushed her away - right into Ben. Another gun went off. Or was that two? Fraser held her, his stomach twisting like a knife had sliced through it. A look of total panic crossed her face.

"I...love...you" she struggled to say, just before the world went dim around him, something soft, yet wet, pressing against his cheek. The last thing he remembered was discovering it was blood on her hand.

The light was unbelievably bright, yet warm. He wanted to bathe in it. It was blissful here. There was no voice calling him back. No reason to not keep drifting. But, something suddenly occurred to him. He so, so alone. It didn't feel right. He wasn't suppose to be alone just yet, that he knew. And, if he was heading towards a *light*, then he couldn't be all bad. The light agreed it wasn't time for him, but he'd be back. For some reason, he wanted to say "Thank you kindly" to the light, which he thought was very odd.

He awoke in the hospital, with Ray by his side. Again.

"Welcome back, Benny."

He was confused and unsure.

"Ray..."

"I'll give it to you, Benny, that's not what I expected to happen."

Fraser sat upright to check his body. There were no outward signs of trauma. Ray's arm was bandaged and in a sling. Again.

"What...*did* happen?" he asked.

"You fainted. Then, well, you kinda' stayed gone for a while. We were wondering if you were ever coming back."

Ray must have been referring to a catatonic state, a sort of mentally-induced coma to help the mind deal with trauma by shutting the body down. He searched his memory the best he could and came up empty.

"Where's Victoria?" he inquired, realizing he must've been out for a while.

Ray's face drained of color.

"Y-you really don't know?" he whispered.

"No." Ben breathed back.

Ray turned away, his head bowed.

"Ray, please...tell me."

"She's dead, Benny."

He closed his eyes, half in relief, half in fear. He sighed slowly. Finally, he had to ask the next question.

"How? How did she-"

"I don't know, Benny. I know you probably think I'm lying, but I really don't know." He laughed. "For the first time in my life, I'm glad my nosy-as-Hell-neighbor was there. She watched while it all went down. She's the one who called the police. She even told them it was in self-defense."

"But, Ray..." Ben said, "What about ballistics? Can't they prove..."

Ray faced him.

"The bullets were too damaged to make a match to either gun. All we know for sure is I was shot by her gun and that yours went off. Which one of them...us...actually killed her, well...that we may never know. That's not to say we won't catch Hell for this."

Ben was aware he could probably figure out, if he tried. But he wouldn't. He owed Ray that much. Fraser felt such closure at that moment. Then, there was only one other question to ask.

"What...about what you-"

"You know, Benny," Ray interrupted, "If we get out of this okay, I think it's time for me to leave. Maybe retire early, take a trip somewhere."

Ben looked at him horrified.

"Ray! You wouldn't really leave, would you!?"

"Do you want me to, Benny? I'd only leave if I knew it would help you. I don't want you to think you owe me anything."

Ben studied his face for a long moment, seeing that a lot of the anger and sadness were gone. Had that been a facade the detective created, knowing Victoria wouldn't give up so easily? Or was he just hopeful of the future?

"But...I do, Ray, don't I? I believe I can find the connections Victoria had here in Chicago. If I...if we...can bring them in, I believe we can convince the authorities your life was in danger and I had no choice but to go along with her."

"What about all those crimes you committed, Benny?"

He could've told Ray it was her, mostly. He just stood back and made sure one stopped her. He hadn't done *that* much illegal. But, then he knew Ray hadn't as well, despite his working for Zuko.

"What about the ones you performed, Ray?"

A smile tugged at the corner's of Ray's lips.

"I guess we're even then."

Ben grew forlorn.

"No, Ray...we're not."

"Why not, Benny?"

He held him with his gaze.

"Do you still love me?"

Ray looked away.

"I said I don't know, Benny."

"We...can try, Ray."

Ray's sad emerald eyes met the pleading blue ones.

"Whatever happens, Ray, I'd like to try." the hopeful Mountie concluded, placing his hand over Ray's.

The truth was he was going to spend the rest of his life making this up to Ray, as a friend...or maybe even more. It would take some getting use to, that he knew. But, he also was aware the one thing *not* on his mind when he lost consciousness was Victoria. It was of the friend he'd left behind.Ray Vecchio smiled, genuinely happy for the first time in months. He bent down and took Benny into his arms. The Italian began to cry, lightly at first, then profusely.

"Benny...thank God you're back...thank God..."

Ben held him tightly, lightly rubbing his back, soothing him, comforting him.

"I'll never leave again, Ray, I promise."

Ray kissed his ear and whispered, "I love you."

"Just don't you go anywhere, Ray...and I'll never keep you waiting again."

P.S. And yes, the one who had the near-death experience was Ray Vecchio, Italian detective extraordinaire, the sexiest green-eyed, Riv-owning man on Earth!

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