Drabble
#1
 

INTRODUCTION: A drabble was introduced as being a work of fiction containing
exactly 100 words. Ann began one on the DSX list, and
other list members continued it. Spellchecking and formatting done by
Ann.

WARNING: Male/male relationship and explicit sex contained herein.
No copyright infringement intended.

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Ann  Part 1

Ray stared at the ceiling, rubbing soothing circles on his lover's back.
Benny was still trying to regain his composure, and Ray wanted to give
him his privacy. That, and he didn't really know what to say to the man.

It happened like this sometimes. They'd be making love, and then, after,
as Ray was relaxing into his 'afterglow', he'd notice the quiet crying.

Ray figured it was something to do with all the emotion Benny never let
out. That's why he'd done his best to not embarrass the man. But
still....

"Benny?" No answer. "Can we talk about this?"

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James  Part 2

He felt the man tense beneath his fingertips and sighed. He knew
Benny couldn't deny that his lover knew about these bouts of
unexplained emotion, but Ray figured that Benny knew, as he did, that
eventually they'd have to talk.

"Benny? Please?"

There was only silence, and from Fraser silence could be worse than a
thousand Arabic curses. Ray couldn't tell if this was silence before
the storm, or silence for building walls. It hurt that his lover-- his
best friend, couldn't trust him with his heart, even as he trusted him
finally with his body.

"I..I love you."

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Bren  Part 3

The words were so softly spoken he wasn't sure he'd heard correctly.
His hand paused mid-circle, and he froze into stillness, willing his
partner to say it again, make sure he hadn't been hearing things. When
more silence was all that followed, he tried to find the right response.
As usual, his tongue betrayed him.

"And this makes you cry? I'd kinda hoped it'd make you happy."

Ben buried his face in the pillow, and Ray cursed himself under his breath.


"I ... I'm sorry, Benny." He rested his head lightly against his lover's
back. "You gotta know I love you."

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Dsrvbf  Part 4 

It was the truth, but only part of why he was crying. Ray would think
him crazy if he said the rest. Sometimes, like now, he'd recall when
his father's ghost appeared while he was making love to Ray. His father's
words haunted him more than his presence ever could. "Merciful
heaven! What's wrong with you Benton? That's a man! I suppose I
have myself to blame, leaving you to be raised solely by a woman. If
I weren't dead, I'd be knocking some sense into you right now! I won't
be coming back again! You're no son of mine!"

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Dsrvbf  Part 5  

"Face me Benny." When sorrowful eyes turned to meet his, a gentle hand
wiped away his tears, followed by a tender kiss.

"Tell me what's really wrong? I promise I'll try to understand."

Blue eyes pleaded with green to uphold that promise as the words he feared
would alienate his lover tumbled out. "My father..." he paused feeling
foolish.

"What about him?"

"He appeared one day while we were... 'you know'... he disowned me."

Ray smiled lovingly. "So that's it? Mine did the same just last week.
Hope ya told him to go to hell. He can keep mine company."

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Lee Part 6

Ben shook his head, eyes still fixed on his partner.

"You're missing the point, Ray."

Ray frowned, feeling the Mountie's tension and unaccountably scared by
it. Though he was quite sure he didn't want to hear the answer, he asked
anyway.

"Tell me."

"My father's dead, Ray." Ben's voice broke on his name. "When he
talks to me, it's mostly what I imagine he'd have said. But
sometimes...sometimes he says what *I'm* really feeling - things I've
been afraid to admit to."

Ray's frown deepened, still lost in all this.

"Don't you understand? I love you, Ray - but it's wrong!"

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Carri Ann  Part 7

Ray's eyes betrayed his attempts to hide any feelings of hurt. "I'm sorry
you feel that way." Kicking the covers away, he climbed out of the bed
and away from his lover. Ben refused to be helpless and
watch as the person he loved more than anything was dressing in
preparation to leave.

"Ray, don't go."

Ray continuing to dress merely proved words would not work on their own.
Fraser walked to him, placing a hand on Ray's shoulder.

"I'm sorry. It came out all wrong."

"Yeah, sure."

"I meant that it is wrong for me to go against my father."

"He should have no say in the matter, even if he were alive. It's all
up to you."

Ben nodded in agreement. "So it would be my own decision to do
*this* then, wouldn't it?" Ben reached out and...

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Kelly  Part 8

...pulled his lover into a gentle embrace, bringing his lips down to
meet 

Ray's. Fraser's hands moved down Ray's back to his hips, pulling him
into a tighter embrace. Breaking the kiss with a sigh, making no move
to end the embrace, Ray brought his hands up to cup Fraser's face. 

"Benny, I know from unhappy fathers. God knows I could never please the
bastard while he was alive. It took me along time to put him behind me,
understand?"

Fraser turned his head to place a gentle kiss in the palm of his lover's
hand, "Yes Ray, I do."

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Lee  Part 9

"But?"

Fraser's lips stilled against the moist flesh. Sighing softly, he turned
back to meet Ray's gaze.

"There is a but, right?" The sad certainty in Ray's voice was mirrored
in his eyes. "Story of my life..."

"Don't." Ben lifted gentle fingers to his partner's lips, silencing him.
"Don't sell yourself short. This isn't about you; it's about me. I've
spent my whole life pleasing people - my father, my grandparents - always
doing the right thing. And now, to just go against everything-"

"No!" Ray pushed angrily away from the loose embrace. "No, Fraser. This
isn't about *you*. It's about *us*!"

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Ann  Part 10

Fraser sat up, watching as his... friend paced the floor.

"If this relationship isn't strong enough, if your emotional commitment
isn't strong enough, then it's about _us_, don't you think?"

"Ray," Fraser interrupted, hating to see this self-doubt in his friend,
but knowing that he couldn't stand the thought of his father's disapproval,
or disgust. "I realize that there is some element of a choice being made,
but at some level, it is also much more complex than that." 

"Right," Ray snapped, his defenses coming forth. "The complexity of wondering
if the real, live people deserve more than the dead?"

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Carri Ann  Part 11

"Ray, he is my *father*. He was there all of my life. It isn't fair to
make me choose between you or him."

"Life isn't always fair, Benny. You of all people should know that. Was
it fair for your mother to be taken from you at such a young age? Was
it fair for your father to be gone most of your life? No, it wasn't.
Life just goes that way. But I'm here, and I want to stay here. I don't
want to leave you, but all you seem to be doing is pushing me away."

"I'm not *intentionally* pushing you away. I love you, you know that.
It's just that....it's just..." 

For once in the few times in his life, Benny finally couldn't take it
anymore. The stress was almost unbearable. Ray watched helplessly as
Benny dropped to the floor and started to sob.

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Katrina  Part 12

Ray gaped for a few seconds, then fell to the floor next to Ben. "Oh,
jeez. I'm sorry, Benny -- I didn't mean ..." He just gave up and put
his arms around Ben and waited for him to stop shaking.

"No. No, Ray, don't be sorry," Ben mumbled against Ray's chest.
"Believe me, I don't want to put you through this. You might be the best
thing that ever happened to me."

"Benny, you're putting *yourself* through this, and I hate watching it.
But you know I'm gonna be here -- fathers or no fathers, I'm nowhere
near ready to give up on you."

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Lee  Part 13

Head downcast, Fraser curled his fingers around Ray's left hand and squeezed
gently.

"Thank you."

Ray cupped the Mountie's jaw with his free hand, lifting Fraser's head
until their eyes met. The smile which greeted him was the one Fraser
had fallen in love with all those months ago: the one which drew Ray's
generous mouth upward into a warm, wide curve and made his eyes
glow. Ben's chest tightened just at the sight of it.

"You're welcome," Ray murmured, his thumb brushing across the tear tracks
on Ben's cheek. "Just trust me, babe - please? We can get
through this...together."

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Ann  Part 14

Ben allowed himself to be pulled into a hug, nestling into the curve
of a strong shoulder, craving the shelter, and love, and cuddles from
a strong man. Things he'd not gotten much of in his life.

Ray shifted, settling himself more comfortably, pulling Benny close.
This man would never cease to amaze him. Sometimes he seemed
so... sure of himself, and his actions. On the job, at least, there seemed
to be no doubt in his mind as to what the "right" thing was. But here,
in bed, he seemed almost child-like, so afraid he might not be loved.

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Barbara  Part 15

Ray held Benny closer, gently rubbing his back. It made him so angry
sometimes to think how Ben had been hurt, over and over, in his life
by the very people who professed to love him.

'Maybe that was the problem', he thought as he felt the fine tremors
that continued to course through Benny's body. 'They didn't tell him
they loved him. Or, if they did, not damn near enough! No, they were
too busy teaching Benny it was wrong to feel, to love. That it made him
weak. Well, Dammit, that stops, here and now!'

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Katrina  Part 16

Carefully, Ray said, "See, Benny, it's hard for me to know what you're
going through here. I mean, I spent my whole life disappointing people
... after a while, you get used it."

He was relieved to feel Ben's involuntary snort of laughter, and he continued.
"So do me a favor, okay? Remember that I love you. No
questions and no doubt about it. That's the way it is, and if you know
what's good for you, you'll just settle down and get used to it." 

Ben raised himself on one elbow. He traced the outline of Ray's jaw and
said 

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Lee  Part 17

"You've never disappointed *me*, Ray," He watched the lazy progress of
his hand as it skimmed over neck, shoulder and breast, then settled into
firm, rhythmic circles low down on Ray's belly. "Not in *any* way." 

He felt the reaction to his words ripple beneath his fingers; saw the
beginnings of arousal before he raised his eyes to look again at his
partner.

"Benny?"

The doubt in Ray's voice served only to increase his own
determination. Pinning Ray down with a solemn gaze, he closed both their
hands around his own, swelling flesh.

"Make me forget, Ray....everything... except your love."

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Katrina  Part 18

Ray tentatively lifted his free hand to the back of Ben's neck and held
it there, both caressing and restraining. "Benny, are you sure about
this? I honestly don't want to push you into anything."

"You should be able to tell how sure I am, Ray. I love you and I want
you -- nothing else matters now."

Without another word, Ray pulled Ben's face down to his. Gently at first,
and then more passionately, they kissed. Ray tenderly trailed his hand
from Ben's neck to the small of his back. Ben moaned softly as Ray's
hand continued its slow voyage.

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Arensmc  Part 19

As Ray's hand slipped toward Benny's front and he raised his head to
follow, Ray beheld an unpleasant vision in polyester.

("Ray! That's....")

Ray looked his dad full in the face and took Benny into his mouth, then
returned his full attention to the man he loved.

Ray's father threw his hands up in the air and looked across the pair
at Benny's father, who exchanged his look of disfavor of the pair on
the bed for Ray's dad. If they were alive, he'd arrest him. How a man
as good as Ray could come from this... The dead Mountie.....

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Kelly  Part 20

...turned his attention back to the bed. "Benny?" "Yes, Ray?" "Ignore
them." "Understood" he said as he drew Ray up into an embrace and whispered
"What would you like?" Ray pulled back and with a serious tone asked
"Benny do I ever let you drive the Riv?" "Seldom." "Well then, it seems
only fair..NO NO stop tickling me!"Ray cried as Benny mock wrestled him
onto his side and laughingly placed a kiss on Ray's shoulder from behind.
"You like how I drive Ray?" They both ignored the gasps of their forebears
"Benny,fuck me hard and slow."
"Understood."

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Claire  Part 20A

Ray turned over, lying acquiescent under Ben's gentle touch. Kisses rained
down on his neck and back. Ben's knee insistently pushed
Ray's legs apart, and as the weight increased on top of him, Ray could
feel the full length of the other man's hardness rubbing up against him.
He tried to ease the tension from his limbs, to not be too eager for
his lover, anything to spin the moment out a little longer. Ben's hand
moved swiftly along the side of Ray's body, as he eased himself down
between the open legs...

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Katrina  Part 21

Ray took a deep, shuddering breath as Ben entered him, and he
grabbed hold of the edge of the bed, his knuckles white. His father went
pale and sputtered, "Raymondo ... that's a *man* fucking you! Do you
realize that?" Fraser Sr. only shrugged helplessly.

Ray wanted to ignore him, but he had to say it. "Believe me, Pop. I've
noticed." Ben simultaneously kissed his ear gently and slid one hand
between his legs, the other clasping his shoulder. Gasping, Ray
reached behind him and locked his hand on the back of Ben's neck. As
their rhythm quickened, their fathers disappeared.

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Dsrvbf  Part 22 

The orgasm of his lover within him was followed soon after by his own
cry of release. Release for them both not just sexual but of an
emotional kind. "Oh bene Benny. Molto bene Benny!" All that mattered
was them right now. No one living or dead was going to tell them who
they should love. Ben slid out from his lover exhausted, then Ray turned
to place his head on his chest. Ben chuckled drawing his lover closer.
"I understand now. I always thought you were just saying my name, are
you telling me how *good* I am?" "Si!"

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Lee  Part 23

Poised on the precipice of sleep, Ray was drawn back by the hushed whispers.


"No."

Benny's body tensed under him.

"Yes, I do."

Another brief silence.

"For the rest of my life."

Ray's head moved with the swell of Benny's chest as the Mountie
swallowed audibly.

"Thanks, Dad."

He felt no need of explanations; no needs at all save to tighten his
embrace. His answer came in the form of a gentle hand on his hair and
Ray smiled against the silk-smooth breast beneath his lips.

Knowing there would be no more tears, he let the darkness take him. 


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Dsrvbf  Part 24  or  EPILOGUE

*What was that? Sobbing?* dream thought Ben, a light sleeper,
awakened by the sound from beside him. Alarmed he quickly turned to his
bedmate, whose back was to him. He reached out to lightly touch him,
feeling slight tremors beneath his hand. *Oh dear. Now it's his turn.*
He whispered, "Ray? What's wrong?" A worried gentle hand
brushed a tear from his lover's cheek. When he leaned over to look he
realized Ray was still asleep and... smiling? He was laughing in his
sleep. Ben caught a mumbled word, then the laughter began anew.
Had he heard that right - *Understood*?

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Katrina  Part 25

"Ray?" Ben uncertainly shook his lover's shoulder. "Ray, are you all
right?" He didn't appear to be in any distress, but after the tempest
of the previous night, Ben didn't want to take any unnecessary chances.

"Mmmph?" Ray opened one eye and looked at him blearily, the smile still
on his face. "Oh. It's you." That set him off on another fit of giggles.

"Ray, what is it?" Ben was less concerned now, but the suspense was killing
him.

"Oh, it's nothing."

"Really."

"Okay. If you have to know, your father is going to kick my father's
sorry Italian butt."

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