This is kind of a sequel to Change in Duty; it should make sense on its own, but should make more sense if ya read that one first.

Not mine, not gonna be so I may as well give up that dream. But I humbly thank Alliance, the jammy little peeps.

NC-17 for m/m, Ray/Ray. So if ya don't like that kind of stuff, or are not of an adult age skadaddle quick before I corrupt your innocent little mind. There may be some slight n/c but I don't really think it counts, but just a quick warning for the weak among you.

Not beta'd, my mistakes. Mine! I know nothing about amnesia or medical procedures, other than watching ER, so I apologise in advance for it all being made up.

Duty Memories

"These dreams have let you down,

Take it, don't break it, just turn it around,

These dreams won't let you down."

These Dreams - Robbie Williams.

Ray was seething as the new guy that had just been transferred from the thirteenth gave his lover a rather too appreciative glace that was practically a leer. Yeah, he could appreciate the guys taste, Stan was pretty nice on the eyes, but could he help it if he was the territorial type, he never liked sharing, not even when he was a kid. So he decided to go and mark his territory.

"Vecchio," he introduced himself coldly butting in Stan's and the new guys conversation with an outthrust hand.

"Ryan," the impressively large guy returned.

"Whatever," Ray dismissed turning his attention to Stan, "you actually going to do any work today?" he asked sarcastically.

"That's so rich coming from Mister Workaholic, I think not," Stan shot back good-naturedly, as he turned back to his desk.

Ray shot Ryan an evil glare as the other mans eyes wandered down to his lover's ass, enjoying the scenery. Ray heard a faint growing sound and was surprised to discover it was coming from him. Ryan gave him a bemused look and Ray swore he'd have to punch this guy's lights out at some point. But he was saved from the assault charges and the extra paperwork that goes with them by Stan as he suddenly appeared behind him suggesting they go find Fraser and ask him for some help on the latest case they were working on. Ray dumbly turned and followed Stan out of the precinct. They walked out to the Riv and Stan slid into the passenger side, the only way they could agree who was to drive was for them to alternate whose car they took each day, it saved a lot of arguments that way.

"So whaddaya think?"

"About what?" Ray asked confused. Praying that Stan wasn't referring to the little scene he'd just made in the bullpen.

"The case, ya think something's going on?"

"I don't know politicians get hate mail all the time, doesn't mean it's not from some harmless opposition supporter." Ray paused, "why do we need Fraser?"

"Cuz it looked like you were about to take Detective Milner's head off and play basketball with it, I thought it might do you some good to get out of the precinct for a while." Ray shot Stan a worried apologetic glace, but all he saw in his lover's eyes was a quiet kind of humour and amusement.

"I'm not normally so crazy," Ray started to explain, "I'm just a bit tired," Ray almost cringed at the lameness of his excuse as soon as it left his mouth.

"That's right, ya didn't get much sleep last night did you? Even after our early night," Stan replied suggestively. Ray looked at his partner closely, Stan hadn't even questioned what he'd done, he'd just accepted what he'd told him, this was one of the reasons their partnership and their relationship worked so well, they trusted one another, even if Ray did have a funny way of showing it sometimes.

Ray halted abruptly outside the consulate.

"We were actually going to get him, weren't we?" Ray questioned.

"Yeh, course we were, he must go mad in the consulate all day, no disgusting things to lick and its no fun talking got the wolf without embarrassing us, right?" Ray grinned at his partner as they both got out of the car and climbed the steps up to the consulate.

As they entered the building they walked straight into the fuming path of Hurricane Thatcher.

"Constable, what are they doing here?"

"I, um, oh dear," Fraser struggled.

"We need the Mountie," Stan helpfully supplied.

"Do you need him for any purposes involving Canadians?" Thatcher demanded in an icy tone.

"Ya, if ya don't let us borrow Fraser then there will be a lot of Canadian torture in the Chicago area, Capice Inspector?" Stan replied sweetly.

"Are you threatening me Detective?" The temperature in Thatcher's voice dropped another couple of degrees that Ray didn't think was possible, "because if you are, let me assure you that your lieutenant will get to hear about this."

"Where's ya evidence? It's entirely circumstantial, it would never make the courts and you know it," Stan looked at his watch, "well I guess even good little Mounties get lunch hours, am I right?"

"Fine, be back in an hour, no later!" Thatcher demanded defeated against the annoyance of the local inhabitants and wished for the thousandth time that morning that she was still in Canada.

"Thank you kindly, sir," Fraser replied to her back as she stalked off to reprimand Turnball, again.

"Stan, I really don't know why you insist on deliberately aggravating Inspector Thatcher in that manner, she has become hostile towards you." Fraser paused considering, "I mean even more hostile towards you," Fraser amended as he climbed into the front of the Riv as Stan and Diefenbaker clambered into the back.

"Hey Frase, everyone needs a pastime, I got mine, you got yers, if mine happens to be annoying the Ice Queen then I'm sorry, but I gotta get my kicks somewhere,"

"Understood," Fraser replied although he really didn't understand what Stan was talking about, Americans as a rule normally had a strange sense of humour.

"Benny, we're sorry about that, it would appear that Stan doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut," Ray spoke to Fraser but shot a glare at Stan in his rear-view mirror.

"Hey," Stan protested, only to be interrupted by Ray giving Fraser the low-down on their latest case, a local politician had been receiving hate mail, it was a high profile case, so high up people were on Welsh's ass about it, that meant that Welsh was on their ass about it. Ray really hated cases like these, he wanted to go and actually help people, get drug dealers off of the streets, arrest murderers, not baby-sit some over paid bureaucrat. Fraser, of course, listened politely to all of the details concerning the case, not that they had a lot; Alderman Selby had received several letters over the past few weeks leading up to the elections, the usual threatening things. Did he know of anyone in particular have a grudge against him? Well he's a politician, so probably half of the city, well they really don't have enough time to question all of those suspects.

"Hmmm," Fraser muttered deep in thought.

"What the hell does dat mean Fraser?" Stan demanded irritated, "Speak English, not Canadian."

"Stan, most Canadians do speak English, and those that do not speak French, many speak both languages, they are bilingual Stan, although, there is not an independent language for Canada, so I cannot speak in Canadian you see Stan, because it does not technically exist as a separate and..."

"Fraser I did not want the lecture," Stan wailed from the back seat. Ray smirked quietly to himself, it wasn't long ago that that kind of exchange between Stan and Fraser would make him feel jealous and excluded, that was until he and Stan discovered some things that they had in common, quite a lot of things Ray thought with a sinful grin, no that he could tell the Mountie that, no way, Fraser thinks that they'd just managed to put their differences behind them and act mature, neither Ray nor Stan were going to correct him otherwise. They didn't like keeping things from Fraser, but they just couldn't imagine having that conversation with him in a sane universe, there may be a few things that Fraser didn't understand, homosexual sex was most likely one of them Ray presumed. They didn't think he'd treat them differently, or even be disgusted by them; in fact he'd probably be happy for them, that only made it worse somehow.

"Where are we going?" Fraser enquired.

"Were going to pay the alderman a quick visit buddy, thought you might like to tag along for the ride." Ray supplied.

"Thank you kindly,"

0o0o0

They stepped into a luxuriously decorated lobby while they waited for an escort into the alderman's office; security had been tightened since the beginning of the hate mail.

They were eventually led to the alderman, Ray thought it was just in time, Stan was getting impatient and his pacing and muttering about how he'd like to kill the alderman was beginning to get on his nerves.

The alderman was in his late fifties and had steel grey hair, and not much of it Ray thought maliciously. He was dressed in an expensive, well-tailored suit, that, at least Ray could appreciate. They all stood opposite the sitting alderman, since there was a lack of chairs.

"I'm Detective Vecchio, this is Detective Kowalski and Constable Fraser," Ray introduced.

"I'll never remember that, just ask your questions so I can get back to some real work," the alderman declared rudely.

"May I remind you that we are here because you asked us to be, and we are here to protect you, a fact that you at least be a little appreciative of." Stan stated sarcastically, Ray could almost see the involuntary twitching of his arm muscles as he tried desperately not to kick the alderman in the head.

"Who is your superior officer young man?" The alderman demanded from Stan.

"Lieutenant Welsh, I'm sure he'd be more than happy to listen to you whine about us, that is if he's got some free time between the murders and real crimes that he's solving,"

"Stan.." Ray warned,

"What is a Mountie doing in Chicago?" the alderman asked, dismissing Stan,

"Well, I first came to Chicago on the trial of the killers of my father, and for reasons that, well, don't need exploring at this juncture, I have remained, attached as liaison with the Canadian Consulate,"

"Very interesting," the alderman's tone indicated that he thought anything but that.

"Anyway, about the letters, how did they arrive here?"

"They were all sent via the normal mail system, apart from the last one, that was hand delivered,"

"Hmmm,"

"Fraser," Stan warned in a deadly voice.

"It's just that an escalation like that is typical, have they begun to be delivered closer together?"

"No, why, is that unusual?" Ray swore if he didn't know better, he'd say the alderman looked almost scared.

"What day do they normally arrived?" Ray asked.

"Tuesday, although the last one arrived on Monday,"

"Ahhh,"

"Fraser!" Stan hissed.

"Is that all you need?" the alderman dismissed by turning his swivel chair away from them,

"Sure, ya think of anything that may actually help us give us a call," Stan said as he dropped his card onto the desk. What they didn't see as they left the office was the alderman lifting the phone quickly and demanding to the person on the other end that those 'incompetent' cops were to take this seriously. Fraser, of course, thanks to his 'above, above average' hearing heard this conversation clearly as they waited to be escorted out of the building.

They strolled down the alley next to the office block to the Riv only to be met with a car speeding towards them; Fraser was the quickest of them to react, pushing them out of the way of the oncoming vehicle. The car screeched past, and Ray could see the driver and his accomplice both had masks on to hide their faces. The three of them turned and began sprinting in the other direction as it became apparent that the car was just turning around to try again.

"The alley's getting narrower," Fraser helpfully supplied

"We're not going to make it to the end," Ray, also helpfully inputted as they heard the roaring of the engine approaching them. They all sprinted up the nearest fire escape, they heard the screech of the brakes as the car halted abruptly and its occupants began chasing on foot. By the time they reached the roof the trio were all panting hard, and Dief, who had been waiting in the car had joined them. They only paused for a second before a growl from Dief warned them that the psychos that were trying to kill them were nearly there to try again. Ray began to wonder what could make this day any worse.

They ran across the roof to the shelter of an air conditioning vent that stuck out, they crouched behind it and scanned the roof, they couldn't see the assailants anywhere, but there were several other vents stuck out making it impossible to tell if they were on the roof or not. Dief woofed a quiet warning and they silently agreed they needed to search the roof to find them, so Stan could kick them in the head, Fraser disagreed with this, he said they needed to be arrested, but Stan was adamant, they could be arrested after being kicked in the head, that was the most he was willing to compromise.

Stan insisted that Ray go with Fraser to search and he'd take Dief, they'd go opposite ways and meet on the other side of the roof, hopefully with the criminals in handcuffs. Ray wasn't happy about leaving Stan only with the wolf, but he knew Stan would get funny if he said anything, he'd think he was belittling his abilities as an officer, Ray just couldn't help it if he worried, Stan had come to mean more to him than he'd wanted, he'd broken through all of his defences and somehow crawled inside his heart, of course he'd never tell Stan that, fucking a man is one thing, loving one is entirely different, although in his own way he thought Stan understands his feelings and returns them silently.

Both Chicago cops pulled their guns and set off in the opposite directions. Ray and Fraser quietly sprinted to the shelter of the next vent and peered around the edge, they still couldn't see or hear anything, they could see Stan crouched behind an identical vent to theirs, he spotted them and touched the side of his nose with his thumb, Ray returned the gesture, they heard Dief growl and saw Stan spin around and raise his gun into the face of one of the masked men, only to be hit on the head by a piece of two by four by the man that suddenly appeared behind him, they watched helplessly as they began to run over to their fallen partner, Stan was struggling to stay stood up, but managed to land a solid punch on the guy in front of him, dislodging his mask.

"You!" They heard Stan exclaim although Stan obscured the face of the assailant, the man turned and ran, pulling his overalls over his head.

The man behind Stan hit him again, harder this time; Ray winced at the loud clunking sound as the wood connected to his lovers head. This time Stan did go down, his sank limbless to the ground with a small grunt of pain.

"Stan!" Ray called out to him in desperation, seeing Stan attempting to get back up, he took off in pursuit of the men who dared do that to his lover and partner. But by the time he got down the fire escape the car had already sped off leaving the foul stench of burning rubber in the air. He climbed back up the stairs two at a time, desperate to be reassured that his lover was going to be fine, he would be, Stan had a hard head. He'd be fine, he always was. He was pleased to see that by the time he got back to his partners Stan was stood, holding on to Fraser's shoulder, a little pale and shaky, but he was stood, he'd be fine.

"You think you need to go to the hospital?" Ray asked concerned, knowing that Stan would say no instantly, one of those automatic response thingys.

"Huh?" Stan slurred confused.

"Hey man, are you ok?" he said as his took Stan's elbow and began to steer him back towards the fire escape, he figured a quick trip to the hospital would be a good idea, it had to be worse than they first thought if Stan hadn't refused outright.

"Where're we goin'?" Stan asked as they began to propel him over to the stairs.

"Hospital buddy, promise you won't have to stay too long,"

"Oh,"

Stan was unusually quiet as they went down the stairs, but both Fraser and Ray both thought that anyone who'd just been hit over the head twice had the right to a little peace and quiet. As they reached the bottom of the stairs Stan paled even more and dashed to a nearby conveniently located dumpster and proceeded to lose his lunch into it.

"You ok?" Ray asked in distress noting the glazed, confused look in his lovers beautiful blue eyes.

"Who are you?" Ray smiled, if Stan was up to pissing around then he can't be that bad.

"Good one buddy, I'm in hysterics, now lets go so we can get back quicker,"

"You in a circus?" Stan asked Fraser, Fraser shot Ray a worried glance; this didn't look so good.

"Stan, stop shitting us man, you've had your little joke, it was very funny, kudos for originality, but we've got work to do,"

"Where are we?" Stan seemed to take in his surroundings for the first time.

"Stan, you were hit on the head, do you remember that?" Ray asked in a soft voice. Stan shook his head, he looked confused and frightened and sort of lost, he began to look at his feet but his head sprang up to meet Ray's eyes again when Ray put his hands onto his shoulders.

"So you don't remember who the man in the mask was?" again Stan shook his head slowly as he looked slowly up and down the alley.

"Ray, perhaps the journey to the hospital would be good right about now," Ray felt himself numbly nodding in agreement. Between them they steered Stan into the back seat with Dief curled up protectively next to him. Stan was quiet the entire short journey to the hospital; Ray and Fraser were both quiet also, through worry and the fact that they weren't sure what to say.

As soon as they go to the hospital a young doctor saw them and promptly settled Stan onto one of the hospital beds that he hated so much, normally he'd be ranting and raving about being a waste of time and how long it would be before he could get out of this prison, although this Stan was compliant and pliable, this more than anything worried Ray.

"What's your name?" the doctor asked Stan, Ray saw the panicked look on his lovers expressive face as he struggled and failed to recall the tiny piece of information. Ray wished there was something to do for him, he then felt a stab of guilt as he realised that Stan shouldn't have been left alone, he should have been with him, he was his partner.

"Stanley Kowalski," Fraser helpfully informed the doctor.

"What happened?" The doctor asked them this time,

"He was hit on the head," Ray snapped. The doctor turned his attention back to Stan as he gently felt his head.

"I'm Doctor Mason, does anything else hurt?" Stan slowly shook his head again, although this movement has stopped by the doctor as he inspected the two gashes on the back of his head caused by the initial impact with the wood. "Ok, what I'm going to do is stitch up the two wounds, then we'll take you for a CAT scan, we'll know more when we get those results, are you experiencing any other symptoms like memory loss, double vision, nausea?"

"No,"

"He threw up afterwards," Ray added.

0o0o0

The doctor had asked them to leave as he sutured Stan head, Ray and Fraser stood nervously in the waiting area.

"You think he'll be ok?" Ray asked for the sixth time, and Fraser did not disappoint him, he repeated the very same reply,

"We'll know more when the results come back,"

"He's gotta be able to remember me, I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't, I can't lose him, I.." Ray realised what he was saying, and more importantly who he was saying it to and abruptly shut up.

"Ray, I do know about your relationship," Fraser quietly informed.

"You do?" Ray squeaked back.

"Yes, however I do not understand why you both feel like you couldn't confide in me, I thought we were all best friends,"

"We are," Ray quickly reassured.

"Have I done something to make you believe I would condone such a relationship?"

"No Benny, it wasn't you, it was us, hell it was too messy for even us to cope with, we didn't want to drag you into it as well,"

"I'm your friends, you wouldn't be dragging me into anything as you claim, that would be part of my duty as a friend to you, to both of you."

"I'm sorry buddy,"

"I would appreciate it however if you'd confide in me in such matters, you know it would be in confidence," Fraser paused, "not that it's any of my business of course, you are entitled to your privacy," Fraser quickly amended.

"Nah Fraser, you've got more than a right to know stuff like that, that also comes with the duty of being our friends, we should have shared it with you, well there never was an opportune time to bring it up you know, it wasn't very easy, I had no idea what to say 'hey buddy, I'm gay and so's Stan, want to be our best man?'" Fraser almost smiled at the absurdity of it and Ray was relieved that some of the tension had lifted. "How'd you know anyway?"

"You were different with each other, it was a drastic, but not unpleasant change from your usual squabbling, and I saw the way you looked at each other when you thought I wasn't looking, it was fairly obvious to anyone studying your behaviour Ray,"

"Shit, you serious? I thought we were discreet; oh man if this gets out at the precinct there'll be hell to pay. You don't think anyone else knows do you?"

"No Ray," Fraser reassured, "Like I said it was only obvious for those looking for it," Ray let out a sigh of relief and they went back to waiting.

0o0o0

It was nearly half an hour before they were allowed to see Stan again, by that time they had already done the CAT scan and they were waiting for the results, the doctor thought it would be a good idea for them to go and help Stan remember his life.

"How are you feeling Stan?" Fraser asked as they walked into the room. Stan shot Fraser a dirty look and Fraser instantly regretted his stupid question. Ray perched himself on the edge of Stan's bed and was pleased to see that he looked better, he wasn't as pale, the wounds on the back of his head looked a lot better, although they had had to shave off some of his lovers hair, Stan would normally have gone mad if anyone dared mess with his spikes Ray realised sadly.

"Who are you?" Stan asked them, "The doctor said you were cops,"

"That's right," Ray was pleased that Stan could at least remember new things; he was also pleased to have something to talk about.

"Am I a criminal?"

"No," both Fraser and Ray exclaimed simultaneously.

"Oh," Stan quietly replied obviously scared by their sudden vehement response.

"You are also a detective Stan," Fraser informed.

"You're a Mountie, right?"

"That's right yes Stan," Fraser beamed at him, Ray was happy to see his lover smile back at Fraser.

"Are you a Mountie too?" Ray's heart fell as he realised Stan was talking to him,

"No buddy, we're both American cops, right here in Chicago," They were interrupted at this point by the doctor returning, he looked happy and Ray took this as a good sign.

"Well it would appear that you have a very hard head, you've been very lucky, there is only a slight swelling on the brain this is putting pressure onto the part of your brain that stores memories, this swelling should go down and leave no long term side effects,"

"Ya mean I'll get my memory back," Stan asked excitedly.

"I cannot promise that, the brain is a very unpredictable part of the anatomy, there is no medical reason why you shouldn't regain your full memory, but like I said I cannot make any promises. I take it you have somewhere to stay," Stan looked up at Ray and Fraser.

"Don't worry I'll stay with him at his apartment until he gets better," Ray offered and Stan looked up at him gratefully.

The doctor gave Stan and him a whole list of what to look out for and whet medicine he should take when, if any of the symptoms were to present themselves they were to come straight back to the hospital, no matter how minor. He was also to come back for a check up in two days.

0o0o0

As they walked into the hustle and bustle of the bullpen Ray felt Stan suddenly walk a lot closer to him, Ray wished he'd thought to have left Stan in the car with Fraser while he went into the precinct to explain the situation to the lieutenant. But the doctor had said it would be good for him to see things that were familiar to him; they all stopped as Welsh came out of his office and headed straight for them.

"Where have you been? You were meant to be back hours ago, we have procedures for a reason and you are expected to follow them," he bellowed. Ray felt Stan side step so he was fully behind him, Ray was almost pleased that even though Stan couldn't remember him he still trusted him to protect him from what must seem like a raving lunatic.

"Sir, some people tried to kill us," Ray said taking a step forward.

"Who tried to kill you?" Welsh demanded,

"We don't know," Ray replied.

"Well didn't you see them?" Welsh bellowed.

" I didn't no, sir,"

"What is that supposed to mean? Constable did you see them?"

"Ah, no sir, I did not, however.."

"Kowalski, by my superior powers of deduction, I presume that, you, at least saw something," Welsh groused exasperated.

"I, uh, yes sir," Kowalski replies form behind Ray.

"Who were they?" Welsh enunciated each word carefully to the cowering detective, Welsh was confused, Kowalski was the first one to talk back and be disrespectful, despite the strangeness of the trio he genuinely liked all of them and they made a great team, they had the best arrest record in the whole precinct.

"Dunno," Stan's reply was so quiet that Welsh thought he'd imagined it, for the first time he actually looked at the detective, he noted the cuts on his head and his pale complexion.

"Leftenant, perhaps we could discuss this in your office?" Fraser tried.

"I guess you lot have a lot of explaining to do," Welsh grumbled as he turned back towards his office.

0o0o0

"Sir, it would appear that Stan has amnesia," Fraser enlightened.

"No kidding Sherlock," Welsh groaned, "What did the doctors say?"

"He'll be fine, but they don't know when or if he'll get his memory back. It's exactly the same as when Frase had it,"

"Inspector Thatcher has been on the phone several times wondering where you are, not that she put it that politely, I think Turnball let the kettle boil for too long and it exploded,"

"Oh dear,"

"She also said something about the CPD threatening the Canadian population, although I think that can wait for another time," Welsh said sending a sympathetic glance to the youngest detective, he didn't look so good, he was studying the floor intently, "Kowalski," Stan's head snapped up at the sound of his name, "I don't want to see you in here for at least a week, ok?"

"Ok,"

"Come on Frase I'll drop you off at the consulate on the way to Stan's apartment, don't want the Dragon Lady to have a hernia do we?"

They all walked out of Welsh's office.

"You ok Stan? Do you want to look around? It may help," Ray asked quietly against the hustle and bustle.

"Sure, if ya think it might help,"

"Good Frase will show you around, I'll go clear some stuff up with Welsh, case loads and that crap,"

Fraser reintroduced him to the duck boys and Francesca, Fraser was pleased to find that they were all nice to him, Stan hadn't exactly been overly nice to them recently in fact he'd played some rather nasty practical jokes on the duck boys involving a trout a mousetrap and some itching powder, not all at the same time mind you, although Heuy and Dewey had retaliated in an equally childish manner. They'd made it up to Detective Milner's desk when Frannie called Fraser away to take a phone call from an irate Inspector Thatcher.

"Stan, how are you feeling, I wished I'd been told sooner, you shouldn't have to have gone to hospital alone,"

"I wasn't alone I had Detective Vecchio and Constable Fraser with me," Stan replied.

"I don't mean that kind of alone, I mean alone alone," Ryan replied as he put one hand gently onto Stan's arm.

"There's a difference?" Stan questioned confused, staring at the alien hand resting on his arm.

"Course there's a difference," Ryan chuckled throatily as he began to slowly caress Stan's arm.

"You're gay?" Stan asked uncertainly,

"Enough name calling, that's like the pot calling the kettle black. You're my pot,"

"Excuse me?"

"It hurts so much that you don't remember me," Ryan feigned a hurt expression, while all the time he was thinking what Stan would look like naked, well if he played this right, he may get a chance to find out. "Come here," Ryan suddenly said, dragging Stan with him before he had the chance to protest, pulling him into the very closet that Stan, Ray and Fraser had shared many strategy meetings. He dragged the door shut and turned expectantly to Stan.

"What?" Stan asked in a pitifully small voice, Ryan almost felt guilty about taking advantage of him while he was so vulnerable //almost//. Ryan wrapped his arms around the trembling man, pulling him into a tight embrace, telling himself that's all he would do for now, in the precinct, but having the man he wanted ever since the first time he saw him so close in his arms, he could feel the blood in his body heading due south, to other more important parts of his anatomy. Stan whimpered in confusion as Ryan ground his erection into the Stan's hip, Ryan, mistaking the sound for one of desire not terror got more adventurous, his tongue tracing the line of Stan's jaw, finally he reached Stan's mouth and took him roughly, his tongue thrusting itself demandingly into Stan's mouth, Stan stood, paralysed with fear as he stupidly let the man do whatever he liked to his body. Ryan's hands were all over him, they navigated themselves to Stan's crotch and groaned in frustration as he mauled Stan's flaccid penis through the fabric of his jeans.

"Must be the medication they've got you on."

"What?" Stan repeated, he didn't know what he'd done but Ryan seemed angry with him, he didn't want to make him mad at him, he'd let him do whatever he wanted.

"My limp little pot,"

"Oh," Stan ducked his head in embarrassment.

"Never mind, we can still have fun, right?" Before Stan could protest he once again found himself being kissed painfully.

0o0o0

"Fraser, where's Stan?" Fraser turned his wide, guilty eyes to Ray.

"It, would appear that I, ah, oh dear, misplaced him," the Mountie stuttered.

"How can you misplace him? Fraser? Fraser?"

"I was on the phone, I only let myself be distracted for a minute, and when I'd turned around he was gone,"

"Gone where Fraser?"

"I don't know," Ray's head sprang up in inspiration,

"Dief! Dief, find Stan, if you do I'll buy you a donut," Dief appeared out of nowhere at the mention of donut, deaf my ass thought Ray, but Dief had a goal in mind as he quickly followed the scent of his pack mate to the supply closet. Ray and Fraser walked up to the door, "You're sure?" Ray asked the wolf and Dief woofed in affirmation. Ray quietly slid the door open to discover that Milner jerk with his hands all over his lover, Ray saw red, well that was an understatement, he saw a dozen different shades of red; crimson, magenta....Fraser could probably tell him more, but at that moment he didn't really care. He roughly pulled Milner away from Stan and socked him in the jaw, then in the stomach, "Leave him alone, if I ever see you near him again I will kill you, understand asshole?"

"Geeze Vecchio maybe it's time you got some, you tight arsed bastard," Ray's answer to this was to hit Milner again, who, to Ray's amusement fell on to the floor. Ray turned his attention back to Stan who was looking at the floor sheepishly, Stan couldn't believe it, he'd been making people mad at him all day, and he didn't know what he'd done wrong, first Welsh, then Ryan, now Ray, it must be really confusing trying to be this Stan guy.

"Let's get out of here," Ray ground out, barely suppressing his temper, he definitely didn't want to hit Stan, none of this was his fault, he couldn't help it if he was, well, extremely susceptible to suggestions at the moment, could he?

"I'm sorry," Stan said in a quiet voice.

"For what?" Ray asked, Ray could see first the shock on his lover's face, then the confusion, he had no idea what he was sorry for, he just wanted to make him feel better, he should have told Stan in the beginning that their partnership went further than normal partnerships, but he didn't want to put ant extra pressure on him. Now he bitterly wished he'd told him, he thought it was bad seeing your lover being hit on the head by some wood, well that was nothing compared to seeing him in the arms of another man, Ray felt as if he was the one who'd been hit with the wood, only this wood was pointed and it was shoved straight through his heart, he felt sorry for vampires if this was how it felt.

"Don't worry I'm not mad at you," Ray put Stan at ease, "but you've got to promise me something, don't trust anything anyone says about you until you get your memory back."

"'Kay," Stan instantly agreed, trying to make him happy again Ray thought angrily.

0o0o0

Ray strode out to the Riv, leaving a shamefaced looking Fraser and Stan to follow with Dief at their heels. They all clambered in and drove in silence to the consulate, when they got there Fraser suggested that they bring Stan in to have a look around, they had spent a lot of time there so it may help, Ray was reluctant, he wanted to get Stan home, where he was safe, he could do with a rest as well, hell they all could. But seeing as they were here and Fraser was desperately trying to make up for the fact that he'd lost his lover Ray conceded and they all trooped into the foyer, for yet another run-in with Hurricane Thatcher.

"About time Constable, when I said you had a lunch hour I meant just that, not a lunch four and a half hours, am I making myself clear," the Dragon Lady hissed in her most venomous, icy voice. Ray felt Stan once again cower behind him, he couldn't wait to have the old Stan back, Stan wasn't afraid to stand up to Thatcher or Welsh, or say no to things he didn't want, he didn't care that much about what people thought of him, and that was usually why people liked him, unless you were one of those ones who Stan didn't like and he went out of his way to make you miserable, Ray thought back to that afternoon with Thatcher and smiled sadly, it seemed like such a long time ago now. "Detective Kowalski," Thatcher turned her attention to the cowering detective, "how nice of you to stop by," Thatcher's tone was deadly, daring him to talk back the way he had earlier, "I told your lieutenant about the rather nasty threats you paid me earlier, I take it you haven't seen him, otherwise I would have thought you'd be doing paperwork." Kowalski sank back further behind Ray, Ray thought he'd probably bolt any second now and run, Thatcher had that effect on people sometimes, although Ray had hoped he'd stand up to her.

"Inspector, may I remind you that it is not a good idea to alienate the CPD, you don't know when you might need us," Ray stepped in to defend Stan.

"I can't think of a single reason that I would need an incompetent bunch of donut gorging, coffee guzzling idiots, unless I was thinking about setting up a circus, then I could use you in the freak show," the inspector smiled sweetly,

"That's funny Inspector, I thought you already ran a circus," Stan would have been proud of him, hopefully one day he'd be able to appreciate it, "No offence Frase," Ray apologised to his friend.

"None taken,"

0o0o0

By the time they'd got to Stan's apartment Ray had filled him in on the reasons for Thatcher's hatred towards him, Ray was pleased that Stan actually found this amusing. Ray let himself into the apartment with the key Stan had given him and they walked inside, Stan stood at the door,

"Why don't you sit down?" Ray asked him, "Or are you tired, would you rather lie down for a while,"

"I thought we were going to my place?"

"This is your place,"

"How come you've got a key? How come we never stopped anywhere to pick up clothes for you?" Ray actually smiled at this, Stan was still as observant as ever and he'd obviously listened to Ray advice about not trusting anyone, even if it did include him, but Stan didn't normally listen to him, hell Stan didn't normally listen to anyone.

"I stay over a lot," Ray stalled, "It's handy to have a spare key to your partners place for when stuff like this happens,"

"Oh," Stan studied him suspiciously, Ray felt nervous, what if Stan didn't trust him, just like he'd told him not to, he may never trust him again. Stan, coming to a decision smiled brightly at him and moved past him into the kitchen, Ray felt his heart flip at the sweet little smile, he also felt something else flip, but he could not, would not do anything about that right now, it wouldn't be fair to Stan, he only just trusted him, he didn't want to change that again too quickly.

Stan stood dejectedly in the middle of the kitchen after methodically searching every cupboard and the fridge for food, he came up with a packet of smarties and some congealed milk.

"Maybe I'll just go to bed," Stan sighed, Ray couldn't help himself, seeing Stan looking so lost and helpless he pulled him into a tight hug, it was supposed to be a buddy buddy type one, purely plutonic, but being so close to Stan, parts of him started to wake up that had no business waking up in a friendly hug. Of course Stan would have to be as observant as ever and it didn't take too long for him to realise that Ray was hard, his head whipped up in surprise, his eyes like large round saucers or shock.

"We're...?" Ray didn't see the point in lying about it after being asked directly, besides he was too aroused now to lie convincingly, he wasn't normally this responsive to a hug, but the thought of losing Stan and the desperate need to reclaim him from that bastard Milner probably had a lot to do with it.

"Yeah," Ray replied softly, hoping that he wouldn't scare him away, although he was too late to react as Stan pulled out of his arms and raced off around the apartment, "Stan, look, wait, I don't want anything but if it makes you uncomfortable I could ask Fraser to stay here with you, but I'm telling you the truth, I'd never lie to you, I love you," Ray clamped his mouth shut, although it was true, they had never said that aloud to each other it was also the last thing Stan needed to hear right now, he didn't need to feel guilty about hurting him, Stan just needed to concentrate on getting better, and if Ray was going to make that harder for him, he would leave, simple as that, he just wanted his Stan back, and if leaving got him back quicker, then he would leave. Ray reluctantly followed Stan into his bedroom, shocked to find Stan rummaging around in his underwear drawer.

"These yours?" Stan asked throwing him a pair of his silk boxers,

"Yeah, they're mine, why?"

"Well I listened to you earlier, 'bout not trusting people, so I figured I had to find some evidence, I don't think I'd leave just anyone's boxers in my underwear drawer, also there's two suits that I know I'd never wear, also Two toothbrushes, although there is only one razor, that confused me a little,"

"You're lazy you use and electric one it's in your top bedside drawer," Ray informed, "So you believe me?"

"Look me in the eye and tell me that again," Stan ordered walking over to stand directly in Ray's face,

"I love you," Ray croaked, once again too aware of the nearness of Stan's body, this was going to be a long night.

"I believe ya, and I think I love ya too,"

"You remember that," Ray asked excitedly,

"Not so much remember, but I dunno it's like an instinct or summit I guess, you were the only one I felt safe with, you were the one I thought I could trust, strange eh?"

"I guess some things are harder to forget than others right?"

0o0o0

They stayed up late into the night, Ray telling Stan as much as he could about his life, he talked about his parents, the GTO, the Stella and him and Fraser. He told him about their relationship and how they first got together he wasn't sure whether to miss out the fact that they used to hate each other, but added it in anyway, Stan needed to know everything, keeping secrets from him wouldn't do either of them any good. Eventually Stan got up and yawned, Ray noted he looked a lot better, he had colour in his cheeks again and was a lot more relaxed than he'd seen him since being hit on the head. Stan stretched his arms over his head and let out another jaw cracking yawn, every muscle was outlined by the thin fabric of his tee shirt being pulled taut.

"You need some sleep?" Ray asked, although he already knew the answer, he couldn't help feeling disappointed that he wouldn't get to spend much more time with Stan, plus the couch didn't really look that comfortable.

"Yeah that'd be good, what 'bout you?"

"I'm whacked too, definitely time for some sleep," They both slowly walked into the bedroom, Stan busied himself brushing his teeth and Ray started to get out an extra blanket and pillow.

"T'ain't dat cold," Stan said around a mouthful of toothpaste.

"What?" Ray asked as Stan spat into the sink.

"I said, it. ain't. dat. cold,"

"You want me to sleep without a blanket?" Ray was tired and confused, what the hell was Stan talking about?

"Is there something wrong with my duvet?"

"Your duvet is fine Stan, why?" Ray asked in a tone that a father would use on a child that continually tests his patience.

"You're not going to sleep with me?" Stan asked in a sad voice and shot him a look that put Benny's big innocent Mountie look to shame.

"I don't think that's a good idea do you?"

"Why not?" Stan shot him 'the look' again and Ray knew he was powerless to resist, he carefully replaced the blanket and pillow, brushed his own teeth and followed Stan to the bed, Stan was just stood there, looking at the bed, Ray for a terrible second thought that he'd changed his mind, he could deal with abstinence of Stan, but Stan going hot and cold on him, he could not deal with.

"What's wrong?" Ray asked him as softly as he could, he didn't want to pressure Stan into it, he wanted Stan to always have an 'out' if he needed it.

"Which side of the bed is mine?" he asked cheekily as he turned around and graced Ray with a brilliant smile that was reminiscent of the 'old' Stan, Ray couldn't help himself, he'd been so controlled all day, so good, even after that shit with Milner, he never took any of it out on Stan, he'd tried to protect him from Welsh and the Dragon Lady, but suddenly in the face of this smiling Stan, that reminded him so much of his Stan, all of his self control and restraint took a decidedly quick movement out of the window, dropping six stories where it was pulverised to death.

Ray enveloped him in a tight hug, breathing deeply Stan's scent that still smelt like him. Before Ray knew what he was doing he was slowly kissing and licking Stan's neck as he pushed them both down onto the bed, Ray straddling Stan, trying to cover him entirely with his body. Stan let out a contented sigh from underneath him, Ray knew in his heart what he was doing was wrong, wrong in every sense of the word, but his body didn't agree with him, and right now Ray wasn't thinking with his brain, other parts of his anatomy had confiscated his controls.

Ray quickly divested Stan of his black tee shirt and jockeys that he was wearing. Stan didn't look scared or even unsure as he had looked with Milner, the was writhing and moaning underneath him, Ray decided now was not the time for teasing Stan, so he kissed a trail of butterfly kisses along his torso until he reached his partner's groin, Stan made a little needy, desperate groan in the back of his throat which quickly turned into a shriek of pleasure as Ray engulfed the head of his penis with his mouth. It wasn't long until Ray could tell his lover was close, he could feel Stan's body tense up as he began a garbled warning,

"Hey, Ray, Stop...I'm, uh, I'm gonna..." Stan panted,

"Ray waited until his lover was totally spent before he reluctantly removed his mouth, knowing that the sensation that had once been highly pleasurable for Stan would now hurt his sensitised cock. Stan sank boneless onto the mattress panting deeply, Ray crawled back up his lover's body and kissed him solidly on the mouth, Ray deepened the kiss as his own need began to make new, urgent demands. Ray quickly removed his own clothes and then stilled, unsure of how to proceed, surely he couldn't do what they normally did, could he? That would probably scare Stan half to death.

"What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" Stan asked worriedly in a small voice, Ray looked down into those scared pale blue eyes that he adored so much and cursed himself for making Stan scared again.

"No," Ray quickly reassured, but hen realised that maybe that needed a little more explanation when Stan changed his scared look for a confused one, "I just don't know, well, what.." Ray couldn't believe he'd just sucked this guy's cock and now he couldn't even speak maturely about sex.

"Whaddaya want?" Stan asked huskily, picking up on the message in Ray's cryptic monologue. Ray knew what he wanted, but that didn't help matters, he didn't know if this Stan could give him what he wanted. Ray froze as Stan climbed out form under him, he'd gone too far, he'd actually scared him away, but then Stan returned pressing a tube of lubricant into his palm.

"How did you..?"

"Found it in the drawer when I was looking for my razor, I presumed it was there because we use it, right?"

"You're still a great detective Stan," Ray smiled as Stan blushed, "but are you sure you want this?"

"I trust you," Stan replied simply, but those small three words, not the three words people normally want to hear, but to Ray they were the sweetest thing that Stan could have said and it warmed him, "How'd you want me?" These words had an entirely different effect on Ray, they reminded him of his own desire and need. Ray positioned Stan on his back on the bed, Stan looked up at him doubtfully.

"It'll work," Ray indignantly defended his personal choice of positions. He then lifted Stan's legs over his shoulders and was pleased that Stan couldn't forget how to be flexible. He spread the lubricant on his fingers and gently slid them over Stan's exposed opening. He felt Stan jump suddenly at the unexpected sensation. He looked worriedly up into Stan's face.

"S'cold,"

"Sorry," Ray smiled warmly as he noticed his partners renewed arousal at the tiny caress. He then gently slid his fingers into Stan's tight opening and smiled even broader as Stan closed his eyes in pleasure at the sensation. Ray increased the tempo of his finger fucking and introduced a third to the pair that were already in his lover's ass. Stan hiked his hips up, giving Ray an easier angle of entry. Ray removed his fingers and slowly replaced them with his cock. Stan grunted in approval at the change, Ray slowly began to thrust into Stan at the reaffirmation that he was ok. Ray was so close, he could feel Stan was as well again, his hips took on a life of their own and sped up, eliciting a happy moan from Stan, Ray could feel the impending rush as he thrust one more time, in his post coital haze he vaguely remembered Stan coming as well, spilling his hot seed onto their stomachs.

Ray, panting hard, did his best to clear up the mess using a discarded tee shirt and shifted position so Stan was on top of him, his legs splayed to either side of Ray's hips, his head resting on his chest, Ray smiled contently as Stan eyes closed slowly as he sank into a deep sleep, he suddenly felt a stab of guilt, what he did was wrong, of course he knew that, but what he did could almost be classed as cheating on Stan, the man he had just fucked was not his lover, it was Stan, but it wasn't Stan, Ray realised he wasn't making too much sense as he felt his own heavy lidded eyes close as he joined Stan in deep slumber.

0o0o0

Ray woke up early to an empty bed, Ray pulled on some underwear and ventured out into the living room to find Stan sat on the sofa drinking coffee, looking over the case files Ray had brought home with them yesterday. For a minute Ray thought that he had got his memory back, but scraped that idea as Stan turned around and gave him a small uncertain smile, Ray smiled back, hiding his disappointment that Stan still couldn't remember him and Stan quickly smiled a real smile back.

"What are you doing?" Ray asked him as he sat down next to him.

"Reading, there's coffee in the pot if you want some, it's still hot." Ray quickly grabbed himself a cup then rejoined Stan.

"Solved it yet?" Ray asked indicating to the file.

"It doesn't make any sense," Stan started, "Why would someone sending death threats to alderman Selby try to kill us, what would they gain from it? Also there has been no escalation in the violence or regularity of the letters, you would expect them to get worse and more frequent as time went on, especially with the election coming up. The letters arrived on Tuesday, which would mean that they were posted on Monday, probably after writing them on Sunday."

"That's very interesting, but it doesn't help us,"

"No it doesn't,"

"Let's give it a rest, yeah?"

"Sure," Stan agreed flipping on the TV using the remote,

"Wait!" Ray ordered as Stan flipped past the news channel, the alderman was there with his family talking about the horrors of the evils of society sending him threatening letters and injuring cops, if he was elected he'd change that, make Chicago safe for children and women to walk the street at night.

"Slimy bastard," Ray groused.

"Any publicity is good publicity,"

"What did you say?"

"I said any.."

"It was him!" Ray exclaimed, pointing excitedly at the image on the screen.

"Huh?"

"You said yourself, any publicity is good publicity, and that is one hell of a lot of publicity! You recognised the guy, when you saw him, you recognised him,"

"That could have been anyone, I probably know a lot of people," Stan replied doubtfully. Someone knocking on the door interrupted Ray. He went to answer it to find a bright red Mountie on the other side.

"I know who it was," the Mountie blurted, "Good morning Ray, Stan, how are you feeling?" he added belatedly.

"Fine,"

"Who did what Frase?"

"It was alderman Selby, Ray,"

"We know," Fraser did a double take, looking slightly put out; he obviously didn't like other people stepping on his toes in the brainy department Ray thought happily, "How'd you know?"

"Well I heard the alderman on the phone after we left his office yesterday, he sounded annoyed, at first I suspected he had carried out his threat to complain to leftenant Welsh about Stan, although when I spoke to him earlier he said he had not received a phone call from the alderman, I then did some checking around, the alderman only ever has Sundays off, perfect for writing the letter late on Sunday night so it will arrive early on Tuesday, except for the last letter, that was hand delivered on the Monday because the alderman was at a rally all weekend. An escalation like that would be normal, however the content doesn't get more threatening or the periods between letters get less, so this kind of sudden escalation is unusual. He tried too hard to keep them regular and perfect, he doesn't have the same mentally unstable hatred a real perpetrator would have to drive them, he did it almost mechanically if you will, not emotionally."

"Mentally unstable, my ass, he tried to kill me,"

"Ah, yes, I believe he never actually intended to do any serious damage,"

"You said he hit me on the head,"

"Yes,"

"With a plank of wood,"

"Yes,"

"So what constitutes as serious harm in your vocabulary?"

"Oh," Fraser paused, then proven wrong he changed the subject, "how did you know alderman Selby was responsible?" Ray realising how pathetic their theory was to Fraser's decided to bow out.

"I don't think we need to explore that at this juncture, do you?" the Mountie gave him a confused smile.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Fraser suddenly asked taking in Ray and Stan's state of undress, Ray only in his boxers with Stan's cum dried over his belly, Stan in his jockeys and tee shirt, the black one they had used to try and clean up with, it had streaks of dried cum, forming a white crazy pattern over the front of it.

"Uh, no Benton Buddy, I just gotta go shower, make yourself at home and then we'll go nail the bastard." Fraser stood stiffly, as if on guard duty in the middle of the room, Stan looked at him warily then retreated into the bedroom to get changed.

0o0o0

They all piled into the alderman's office half an hour later.

"You are under arrest, anything you say or do, will be used against you in a court of law, you don't have any rights scumbag, I took them away the moment you hit my partner with a stick," Ray growled as he advanced on the alderman.

"You don't have any evidence," The aldermen smugly boasted, "I'll be out in twenty four hours," Ray paused, they didn't really have any evidence, but surely they could collect that later, right?

"That is where you may he wrong, that discolouration on your cheek and the slight swelling of your upper lip looks remarkably like a bruise, no matter how hard you tried to cover it up. A bruise that could have been caused by a punch to the face," Fraser stated.

"I walked into a door,"

"We have an eye witness," Fraser tried again,

"Who, him?" the alderman stalked over to Stan, "He can't even remember his own name, let alone my face," he chuckled, that's when he made his first mistake, he grabbed Stan by the shoulders and shook him violently and pushed him to the floor before any of the others had a chance to react. Stan's head connected to the hardwood floor with a loud thud, Ray quickly handcuffed the alderman.

"Well that's assaulting a police officer to start with we'll see what else we can add when we get to the precinct," Ray snarled dangerously.

"Ray, hold that bastard still while I kick him in the head,"

"Stan?"

"The one and only, I've got the worst fucking headache though, got any aspirin?" the lovers smiled brilliantly at each other and Ray felt as if he was falling in love again.

0o0o0

After dropping the alderman off at the station with a nice list of crimes to be charged for and a quick visit to the hospital the trio sat once again in Stan's apartment eating pizza with Dief at their feet being for a slice.

"I let the Ice Queen yell at me?" Stan repeated disbelievingly,

"Yeah you did," Ray agreed,

"Just wait till I see her next," Stan grinned evilly, Ray happily enclosed his lover's hand in his and Fraser smiled at them. Ray was pleased, he was truly happy everything was back to normal. Everything was perfect. He looked deep into Stan's eyes and saw the never spoken three little words. Everything was more then perfect.

The END

- Man my fingers ache, no rude jokes you dirty minded peeps. This was actually only supposed to be a short story, but I guess that's what extreme boredom does to you.