The standard disclaimer applies. All errors are my own. All comments, criticism and feedback are welcome at: tuktoyaktuk@hotmail.com
by Hsu-Lyn Yap
"Geez, Benny! That's the third person you are throwing money away on today. If you are feeling like Santa, how about helping me purchase that lighter I was telling you about this morning." Ray shook his head in disgust as he waited for Fraser to catch up with him.
"Sorry to keep you waiting, Ray. The man was wet and I had given him some money to buy an umbrella. It's raining." He said unnecessarily.
"I know it's raining. Do you think I'm standing here with an umbrella as a fashion statement?" Ray rolled his eyes in exasperation. "And that man did not want to buy an umbrella. He wanted to buy a drink."
"But that is assuming the worst of him, Ray." Fraser told him as they got into the car.
"No, that is called being realistic, Benny. You saw what he was, a bum. He had alcohol on his breath and is probably pickled in the stuff! He's not going to worry about a little thing like rain, and an umbrella."
"And to prove my point, there's your friend now." Ray gave a triumphant smile as they drove past the unkempt man who was weaving from side to side as he gulped down a mouthful of cheap wine from an obviously new bottle.
"Stop the car, Ray." Fraser said suddenly, drawing a surprised look.
"I'm not going to stop the car, Fraser. If I do, you are going to do something silly, I bet, that's going to get us both in trouble. The last time you asked me to stop the car, I got run over."
Fraser did not say anything in reply, but simply put his hand on the car door, making as if to open it, just as he had done previously. It was a trick that always worked as far as Ray was concerned.
"Alright, already!" Ray grumbled, pulling to the side of the road. "You are incorrigible, Fraser! Not only do you pose a threat to my car, you pose a threat to me! You nearly get me drowned, you nearly get me blown up, you blow my car up...."
"Thank you kindly, Ray." Fraser paused to interrupt his tirade, before he got out of the car with an umbrella, which he proceed to give to the man he had just helped purchase a bottle of wine.
"And that was *my* umbrella, that you just donated to that man!" Ray stared in disbelief at Fraser who had re-entered the car.
"He needs it more than you do, Ray." Fraser shrugged.
"He needs it more than *I* do?!" Ray stared out of the car window at the man who was now in possession of a nearly new umbrella, and a half-empty bottle of wine, all courtesy of Constable Benton Fraser. Ray drew a deep breath, trying to calm himself, but failed.
"Benny," Ray rarely called Fraser 'Benny' when he was angry, but this time, he was not angry. He was furious! This had to be the limit. It had not been a good day. Ray never liked it when it rained. It made him moody. Fraser would probably point out that he was moody whether or not it rained, but rain just seemed to make it worse.
That morning, he had found himself saddled with 3 new cases, all requiring the expertise of Elaine, who just happened to be off sick. A morning spent in front of the computer had done nothing to sweeten his temper. Later, he had found someone who had an original 1971 Buick Riviera car lighter for sale. The only problem was that he had exceeded his overdraft limit for that month, which meant that the lighter was not to be part of the car's accessories, which was incomplete as it was. Then, he had had to wait in the rain each of the three times Fraser had stopped to give money to people asking him for it, citing excuses only Fraser would believe. To top it all, that was *his* umbrella that Fraser had given away!
"Benny," he repeated through gritted teeth, as he pulled away from the kerb with a screech of his tyres. Fraser reached out instinctively for the dashboard to steady himself as Ray plunged into the traffic in his usual erratic way.
"Ray, this reminds me of a story I was told when I was very young." He interrupted just as Ray was going to berate him.
Ray ground his teeth in frustration and tried to ignore Fraser's 'stories'. He was more than familiar with them by now.
"I don't care about the story, Benny. The point is that you just had to ask me, and I might have let you have the umbrella."
"You would?" Fraser looked over at him in surprise, momentarily distracted from recalling the story he was about to tell.
"No, I would have said no. But the point is that you just had to ask." Ray said. "But I bet that had I said no, you would have given it away anyway, wouldn't you, Fraser?" he sighed, fully expecting the answer.
"Yes, I would, Ray, because deep inside, I know you would have wanted him to have it."
"But I did not, Fraser!" Ray protested. "It's just like you to be taken in by the story of the man wanting to buy an umbrella, when all he wanted was money to buy himself a drink. And when you see that he did not buy an umbrella, you proceed to give him one, which happens to belong to me. That's not how it operates, Benny."
"I should have given him an umbrella instead of the money?" Fraser looked perfectly innocent as he said it.
"No need to get sarcastic, Benny." Ray scowled at the driving rain beating against the windshield.
"I wasn't being sarcastic, Ray."
"Oh yes, you were. You look all innocent, but you are actually being sarcastic." Ray raised an eyebrow. "I'm onto you, Benny."
Fraser chose to ignore that comment and changed the subject, causing Ray to give a knowing grin.
"This reminds me of a story I was told as a child." Fraser began, even as Ray sighed and settled himself to listen to yet another of Benny's innumerable Inuit stories, all with morals, and all of which bore him to death!
"There was a young Inuit hunter who had just killed a caribou and was skinning it, preparing to take it home to feed his family. As he was cutting it up, he saw another young man coming towards him. His clothes were torn and he was freezing from the cold. He took him into his igloo, gave him warm fur clothes, shoes and food. The next morning, when he awoke, he realised that the other man was gone, with his furs and half the freshly skinned caribou. He never saw that man again."
"And so he cursed in all the Inuit words he knew and made up, called on the polar bears to have the man for dinner, made sure he would never catch another caribou or seal and went home, colder, poorer by half a caribou and a much wiser man." Ray concluded. "It just says what I have been trying to tell you all along, Fraser. Don't get taken in by people. They don't thank you for it, and it doesn't pay to be generous. Guess you needed an Inuit story to drive home the point, huh?"
"No," Fraser looked confused. "The point of the story is that he knew he had helped the man by providing him with the furs and food. It would have been what he would have given him anyway, had he seen him off the next morning. And in doing so, he had probably saved a man's life. It is hard to survive in the tundra without warm furs and food."
"I think my explanation makes more sense. I think the other guy was just being ungrateful and a common thief." Ray frowned at him disbelievingly. "So, you are trying to tell me that like that poor sucker in your story, I would have wanted that man to have my umbrella . So, instead of confirming it, you just went ahead and gave it to him anyway?"
"Well, yes, Ray."
"Oh, well." Ray sighed. "No use talking about that now. Bet it keeps him drier than I'll be when I get out of this car."
A silence fell over the occupants of the car, as they pulled up in front of Benny's apartment.
"Would you like to come in, Ray?" Fraser asked in his usual polite manner.
"And get myself drenched in this downpour without an umbrella? No thanks, Benny. I'll pass."
"Right. Thanks for the ride, Ray." Fraser opened the car door, and hesitating a moment, closed it again.
"Oh, I forgot." He made a big show of remembering what he had forgotten, much to Ray's amusement.
"You always were a bad liar, Benny." He laughed as Fraser pulled a small package from his pocket. "What's that?"
"Something I...er...thought you might like." Fraser looked uncomfortable. "I have no use for it anyway, and I knew that you, well...um...here." for once, Fraser was at a loss for words as he simply held out the package to Ray.
Ray looked suspicious as he took it and carefully opened it, wondering what it might be. At least he knew that Benny wasn't one for practical jokes, so he was safe in that field. But he never knew. This could be a follow up to his Inuit story. An Inuit idea of a practical joke? The idea intrigued him. He had to ask Benny about that one day.
For the moment, all he could do was stare. There, in the palm of his hand was a classic 1971 Buick Riviera car lighter, polished till it shone. A dazzling grin split his face as he looked first at the gift, then at a smiling Benny.
"Geez Benny, I...I don't know what to say! Geez... thanks!" he finally managed to blurt out as he slid the lighter into the empty space on the dashboard, that had just been waiting for that one accessory. The excited grin never left his face, and if anything, it widened.
Benny grinned back at him. Sometimes, it *did* pay to be generous.
THE END
Hsu-Lyn Yap copyright 1997
tuktoyaktuk@hotmail.com