WORLD'S SHORTEST DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don't sue.
EXPLANATION: Based on two sentences, spoken by Fraser in the pilot of "due South:"
"He can't hear you --- he's deaf. He pulled me out of Prince Rupert Sound once, and his eardrums burst from the cold."
This is a "Diefenbaker tale." :) Enjoy.
RATING: PG
WARNINGS: There is some fowl language, including the F-word. There is some violence. And since I could not find Prince Rupert Sound on any map, I had to make up where it is. If anyone is familiar with it, please forgive my ignorance and feel free to tell me where you've found it.
As always, all comments, questions, otters and fuzzy huskies
are welcome! mailto:kcabou@hotmail.com Thank you kindly!
by Kiki Cabou
The wind blew snow in his eyes, and it was a crisp,
-28 degrees Celsius. Nice day. The man pulled his scarf over his
nose and mouth to keep the cold out and lowered his Stetson down, almost
over his ice-blue eyes, with a gloved hand. Having successfully made
a slit to see through, he stopped squinting, only to get
a panorama of white. White ground, a flurry of white in the air,
and white trees, painted that color by ice. The wind was mournful. It
was noon.
The man had been walking for some time. He re-shouldered his heavy day pack as he finished his sweep of the area, and he was tired. Another day of waiting and watching for his intended prey. Another day of nothing. Another gruesome find, this time right at the lodge's door. He finally stopped, took one last look around through his slit, and, unable to identify even the hand in front of his face, gave up with a sigh and began to walk back in what he hoped was the direction of the station.
The wolf was scavenging along the bank. He'd been
following the carribou trail all morning, but had only seen their droppings.
He knew that locating the depositors of those droppings couldn't have
been that hard --- he was a wolf, after all, and
knew this sort of stuff --- but he hadn't seen a single furry
arctic deer all morning. It was frustrating, and he was exhausted. He'd
hardly eaten in the last week. Winter here was tough enough, but taking
care of Misty's kids while she was away was an added
challenge. Almost everything he'd brought back had gone to them.
He explained to himself for the three millionth time that
they were just pups, good ones, at that, that they needed
the nourishment more than he did, that Misty would rip him apart
if anything happened to them, and ordered his own selfish stomach to
stop growling. But the fact that he could hear it was unsettling. He
always hated the noise it made, not to mention the uncomfortable, squirming
feeling he always got; the squeezing and expanding of
the organ, the spastic flip-flopping, and the little involuntary
ripples of almost-gas that blurped through his belly. Hunger pangs were
hell. Speaking of which, where the hell had all the carribou gone? He
didn't have a clue. It was like they had vanished into
the snow.
He was lean --- too lean, for this time of year. His fur was still spotless and white, but thinning from the lack of food. His mouth was dry, but it didn't matter. The pups needed meat. He sighed an irritated, hungry wolf-sigh and pressed on.
The man turned on his radio. At first it was all
static, but after a minute, it cleared.
"Hello?" the man said. "Hello, base?"
"This is base. Copy. Over."
"Base, this is Fraser. I've finished my sweep
of the area, and I'm sorry to say I have nothing to report. Over."
"Yeah, I'm sorry too. Copy."
"Steve? Is that you? Over."
"Yeah, it's me. Is it cold out there?"
Fraser stood still in the middle of the flurrying
snow for a second, before it cleared momentarily, leaving him
caked in it.
"Ah, it's a bit nippy. Still not over Ottawa,
are you, eh? Over."
"Oh, you're a riot. And no, I can't wait to
get out of here. Now get your northerly ass back here before you
catch pneumonia. Don't want you to be sick on your birthday, now. Over."
"Okay. Oh, and Steve? My northerly ass would
need to head southwest, correct?"
"Yes, Mr. I-know-this-place-like-the-back-of-my-hand,
that's correct. Jeez! C'mon, hurry up. I don't want you getting
shot by some idiot with an uzi. Over."
"Well, he's not shooting people, Steve.
He's poaching carribou. Over."
"Fraser?"
"Yes?"
"Shut the hell up and get back here. Now. Over
and out."
The walkie talkie broke off into a static crackle.
Fraser sighed, took out his compass, and began to head back to
the R.C.M.P. outpost, about fifty klicks southwest from his position.
He knew that his temporary partner, Constable Steven "Sparky"
Briggs, was gruff, but he understood that it was the other man's
way of looking out for him and didn't fight it. Long-time friends, they'd
gone to high school together at a military academy up north, had entered
Regina Depot together and graduated in the same class.
Steve of the red hair and emerald eyes, of the fiery wit
and equally fiery temper. Fraser of the black hair and clear
blue eyes, of the subtle wit and long fuse. They tempered each
other. And while Steve was only here for a few weeks, as a chance to
"get away from it all" and leave his beat in Ottawa
behind for a little bit, Fraser was happy to have him. Writing
letters just wasn't the same as having the actual person around
to tell you to shut the hell up. *No sir, not at all.* He smiled.
He started walking faster, a little more sure of himself. Steve's jab, despite its intent, was accurate --- he really did know the area like the back of his hand. The lodge was, after all, ninety klicks away from his home town of Tuktoyaktuk, and his daily patrol over the ruthless arctic terrain took several crazy turns. Walking became snowmobiling to town, which became riding in a car through the streets, which became walking again, but he didn't mind. It was home. People still needed help. And he was there, tall and bundled in his furry outerwear, proud to be of service.
The wolf wasn't having much success. All he'd been
able to find were some hardy berries on the bank. He'd eaten them all,
his concern for himself finally overpowering any fathering
instincts. After walking some more, he stopped looking and stared out
at the horizon of water to the north and ate some snow. He
was in a winter wonderland. Perfectly camouflaged by his fur and
not moving much anyway, he would have been able to pick off some
old, weak carribou like nobody's business, had there been any.
He stopped staring and kept following the trail,
safe in the knowledge that no one from the nearby village would
bother him. Tuktoyaktuk was home to a small number of humans that mostly
kept to themselves and didn't harm the local wildlife;
unless of course if he counted his uncle Skipper, who'd gotten
greedy and clumsy and was shot trying to raid someone's food bin
in the middle of the night. Poor Skipper was a wall-cover, now.
He tried not to think about it.
He stood on the bank and looked again, desperately
whining and looking for some sign of life. The large body of water to
the east of Tuktoyaktuk had no name. However, it fed right
into the Beaufort Sea, and this orphaned pool of blue and gray
was kindly cared for by the local population, as was anything
within the three hundred klick radius surrounding their town.
The Inuit of the region had their own name for it, which the Mounties
of the area (one excepted) couldn't pronounce, so the Redcoats
had nicknamed it "Prince Rupert Sound."
The wolf gazed hard and long over the Sound and wondered
how in the hell he was going to find meat this time. Or if he
was going to find anything this time. His stomach growled
again, despite the berries, and suddenly he felt nauseous, followed by
a desperate urge to take a crap. He hurried off into the surrounding
woods to take care of business, dizzy, and not really thinking
about where he was going. Anything was better than doing it out
in the open on the riverbank. There was absolutely no privacy
out there! *What would the squirrels think?* As he made his way
through the woods, he realized that his state must have been caused by
the berries --- they had to have been mildly toxic to be so
hardy as to survive this weather. He chastised himself for his
foolishness and was thankful that he hadn't brought the fruit
back to the cubs --- they might have died.
As he hunted around, looking for a suitable spot, he almost laughed at the irony. Here he was, starving to death and having to expel the first thing he'd eaten that day. It must have been Nature's version of a cosmic joke.
Fraser was feeling like an idiot. Not just an idiot, an
idiot all alone in the middle of nowhere. He knew he had read
his compass correctly, but the snow was blinding and his instincts told
him that he'd been going the wrong way for quite a while,
now. But he hadn't listened to them. He also hadn't seen any lights,
any familiar land, any lodge, any civilization for hours, and
worst of all, he'd lost radio contact with Steve. Steve, who was
the only other guy on duty until six o'clock, when the new shift
would get in.
He found the beginnings of a forest and took shelter from
the driving wind behind a large, sturdy tree. He sat down,
curled his legs up to his chest miserably and looked at his watch. Four
o'clock. The sun would be setting soon, and then he'd really be in trouble.
Darkness meant no light to see by, which suddenly, he realized, meant
being blind and utterly lost. Out here, that
meant death. And for the first time in a long time, Constable
Benton Fraser, R.C.M.P., was honestly scared shitless. He knew
that life in this hostile country was already a gamble, but to
cast the die himself, and not in his favor, was a thin stake of
ice-knowledge that chilled him to the bone. He'd have no one to
blame but himself if he died.
He knew he had to keep moving --- the temperatures
would dip even lower at night than during the day. Standing still was
death. He knew he would have to find some recognizable geographical feature
of the area. Getting lost was death. He knew he would
have to find someone to talk to, even if it was an imaginary friend,
or the forest, or something. Being alone was death.
Also, there was a criminal on the loose. An insane
gamesman who was shooting carribou for sport and leaving their
bloody bodies near the R.C.M.P. lodge, taunting the local Mounties. A
murderer, in Fraser's eyes. A man who was scaring off the remaining carribou,
starving the wolf population and the locals, as well.
A man who killed for the killing, and nothing more. A wastrel
with an enormous ego and a gun to match. A devil who would be
caught and imprisoned for his crime. Fraser fingered his own Smith and
Wesson, remembering Steve's simple advice if he saw the perpetrator ---
"No hesitation, man. Blow him away first." Because
out here, even a minor wound was death.
So. His objectives were: living, making it back, and catching the poacher if he saw him. In that order. It sounded simple enough. Nothing he couldn't handle, right? He'd been doing this for nine years, after all. He stood up, hearing his knees crack from the cold. He bundled his scarf tighter around his face, covering his ears even more, his mouth and nose, and stuffing the ends into his jacket. If nothing else, his clothing would protect him. He shouldered his pack again and uselessly brushed the snow off of himself, just to keep his arms moving. He would fight on, get back, and maybe even get his man. Yes, this time, he was sure. He started walking in the direction he thought was west.
The wolf had found the perfect spot, and was just
getting ready to do his business, when one step changed his entire life.
*CLAPCHOMP!*
He let out a wail of agony as the steel jaw trap,
brilliantly hidden in the snow, ambushed its prey, sharp fangs
tightly gripping the leg belonging to the foot that had carelessly stepped
in it. His. The blood was flowing fast and red down his
right hind leg. Crying out, he fumbled for control over his body, only
to discover, to his horror, he was urinating and loosing
his bowels all over the place. He was too weak and frightened
to stop it, and finally collapsed on his side, covered in his
own filth, leg twisted in the metal jaws of death, yelping pathetically.
*The cubs are a zillion miles to the north. They're
so small, so strong. I never saw such hope for our kind! I'll
never see them again! Misty'll come back and have to feed her
children herself, and then I'll have no chance with her, no matter how
much she likes me, or vice versa. Hell, her mate's gone! That bastard
left her in the lurch. But if I don't make it back at
all
she needs someone who can provide, dammit! Not someone who's
dead! Mom, Dad --- I know you're gone, too. But I don't
want to join you. I can't join you. Not now. Not now!*
The agony of his thoughts and the blood running down his leg pushed his yell to new decibels. A long, continuous howl rose up from within him and spread over the area in a wave as the sun began to set.
Fraser cursed himself for getting so disoriented.
He realized where he was, now. He was in the forest right near
Prince Rupert Sound, at least seventy five klicks due east of
the lodge. He'd completely wandered in the wrong direction, but
he wasn't about to blame it on the conditions.
"Boy, am I an idiot. I wonder why the radio
isn't working? Oh, well, no matter. I'll just have to make camp
here. I won't be able to make it back before nightfall."
He sighed and set about looking for a suitable place to
camp, when he heard it. A howl. The cry of a wounded animal.
*No, scratch that. The cry of a REALLY wounded animal.* He'd never heard
anything so loud or resoundingly human in his entire life.
It sounded like a wolf --- sort of. There was a bit of dog in
the call, too. And it continued, only breaking off momentarily
and then starting up again. Nothing was answering it. The creature sounded
desperate.
Fraser immediately shouldered his day pack and crept through the forest, searching for the source of the noise. He had to move fast --- it was approaching sunset, and the available light was dwindling.
Still lying on his side, the wolf kept calling out.
Humans could only hear his howl, but every other living thing
nearby could hear his words.
"Please! Somebody help me! MISTY!! Anybody!
Can anyone hear me! Oh no please no I'm going to die out here
don't let me die I love you Misty AWHOOOOOOOOO!"
He was panting from the effort, and the world was
swimming before his eyes. There was a large pool of blood under
his leg, and his breaths came painfully, like razor cuts. It was
difficult to think. The cold was trying to swallow him. There
was frost on his eyelashes, frost on his panting tongue, frost
on his fur
And then he heard it. A swishing of branches. A crackling
of twigs. He was terrified. Perhaps the human (for it had to have been
a human) who'd set the trap was coming to take a look at
his catch. He would kill him on the spot, with his metal cylinders that
spewed out smoke and death. This was it. He was fearful and
still, but he couldn't contain the cry.
But as the human came crashing through the trees
and into the clearing where the dying wolf lay, the snared animal managed
to weakly look up and recognized him. It was no vicious
hunter. It was not the one who had set the trap. It was Blue Glass Eyes,
the one who occasionally fed the village dogs, sometimes
mistaking him for a dog and feeding him, too. The one with the
funny hat. The one with the ever-warm hands. He hadn't seen him
in weeks, but he remembered him. If nothing else, it would be
good to die in his arms.
"Rowrrrlll," he said weakly.
Blue Glass Eyes approached him and knelt, beholding
a tattered, crying mass of wide, frightened eyes and fur and teeth, stained
with blood, feces, and snow.
"Oh, dear."
Something about the look in the animal's eyes held
him. He had to do something. He wended his way over to the trap,
and, unafraid, put a gloved hand on the wolf's head and patted
him still. The wolf, for his part, could do nothing but quiet,
so he stopped the noise altogether and began to just breathe.
Wild things, from wolves to carribou to ground squirrels and birds, had
a way of calming when Fraser was around. It was something
indefinable about the man that assisted everything he came in
contact with.
He gripped both ends of the steel jaw trap and yanked it
open. A reflex action kicked in and the wolf kicked his leg
out of it. The trap clapped shut on nothing and the Mountie tossed it
aside. Still bleeding, the wolf tried to stand. He was a mess. He wobbled
on all four feet for only a moment, allowing Fraser
to see the fact that his ribs were showing, before he fell over
on his side again and pawed weakly at the air.
Fraser watched the pathetic scene. *He certainly
has spirit. Maybe if I---*
Before the wolf properly knew what was happening,
there was something tight encircling his leg, and he could feel
sharp sticks of pain as it was maneuvered into alignment against
something rough. His shoulders slumped and he fell into complete
unconsciousness.
Fraser had stopped the bleeding. Noticing the animal was
out like a light, he reached into his first aid kit again.
The trap had broken the leg, and as he'd suspected, nicked a major artery.
Pressure had done the trick, but now stitches would have
to do the rest, as well as a bandage and splint. He grabbed a
sterile wipe and got the area clean and free of fecal matter before treating
it. Then he took snow and cleaned the fur. By the time
he was finished, his body was aching from squatting so long, and
it was snowing heavily again, but his charge was clean.
He quickly packed the kit away, picked up the wolf,
and laid the animal down on a tarp he'd spread on the ground ---
the bottom of his tent. He set up the roof by hanging a rope between
two trees and slinging another tarp over them. He fastened it
edge to edge with the tarp on the ground, cleared the snow from
the floor and attached the two end triangles to make a tight prism. The
tent was strong enough for a night, at least, and clean and
dry. Exhausted and unsure of why he'd even followed the call in
the first place, Fraser spread one of his blankets over the wolf, who
was now asleep and breathing deeply.
As he curled up in his own sleeping bag, he watched
in amazement as his own arm, which he was not aware of having
a mind of its own until now, reached over to the wolf and pulled
the sleeping creature close to keep it warm. Fraser smiled as
he gently scratched the wolf behind the ears. He understood now
why he'd come. The two slept dreamlessly until morning.
When dawn broke, the storm outside had abated, and
the Mountie woke to find a pink tongue licking him. He instinctively
scrunched his face up and finally pushed the tongue away and opened his
eyes. The wolf was staring at him, licking his chops and yawning. He
had both his front paws on Fraser's chest and was wagging his
tail.
"Good morning," he said, scratching the
wolf behind the ears. "Did you sleep well?"
"Rowrff."
"Good. Well, listen. I don't have any food,
so here's what I'll do. I'll break camp," he said as he sat
up, "and get as far to the west as I can until I'm back in
the radio range of the lodge. Then I'll send for a snowmobile
transport. Hopefully, they're looking for me by now."
"Rrrrff."
He began to pack up and started to take down the
tent.
"Anyhow, I'd best be going. And I think you
ought to know, you're in no condition to stay here by yourself."
"Grrrowff!!"
"Heavens, you're grumpy! You have to learn not
to take it personally. It's nothing against your virility or anything
like that."
"Grr."
"Yes. 'Oh.' In any case, would you care to come along?
I won't force you, but I must tell you that your chances
of surviving out here with that leg are very slim."
The wolf just looked at him, and down at his leg,
which was bandaged and splinted. He was leaning more on the other three
than that one.
"And there's a poacher on the loose."
The wolf was at the door of the tent in a blink.
He wagged his tail and panted his request to get out of there.
The word "poacher" was synonymous with the word "death,"
right up there with "hunter" and "extreme cold."
Going to the world of men would be different, he knew that, but
it was nothing he hadn't seen before. Besides, he was with Blue
Glass Eyes. The human who appeared to understand what he said.
The human who saw fit to save him and help him. *The most competent being
alive,* he decided, watching him work.
Fraser finished packing up. They walked for hours,
until finally the wolf's strength gave out him again and Fraser
picked him up, holding him as a sagging, furry, slightly acrid-smelling,
skinny mass over one shoulder, like a sack of potatoes. After
another few hours, the Mountie decided to use the radio.
"Hello?"
"*KKKK* *KKKK*"
"Hello?"
"*KKKK---Fraser? Is that you---KKKK?"
"Yes! It's me! Over!"
His heart skipped a beat and he began to move faster. The
lodge was still a long way away.
"Fraser, it's Barry! Stay put!"
"Understood! Over."
Barry was screaming over the wind where Fraser was.
"Listen, Fraser, a search team went out looking for you last night,
but no one could find you! Lemme tell you, we all thought
you were dead! Steve was pretty torn up! But thank God for small
favors, eh? I'll send a snowmobile! What's your position? Over."
Fraser gave it and Barry signed out. A few minutes later, Fraser put the wolf down in the snow and began to wave his arms, hailing the approaching snowmobile with an ecstatic grin.
Back at the lodge, the other men on duty, and Steve, who
wasn't, were gathered around the fire. They listened as Fraser, who'd
gotten the chair, for once, thanked them for the rescue
and explained what had happened. It was a long story. The thick,
plaid quilt around his shoulders kept the heat in, and he was
finally feeling warm again when he finished.
"Hell of a way to spend your birthday, eh?" Steve
said. "What are you now, eighty nine?"
The other guys laughed. Fraser laughed, too.
"Thirty four. But at least I gave that wolf
a hand," he said, pointing at the said creature, sleeping
in front of the fire, with only his muzzle poking out of the blankets
that were covering him. The men had done a good job of caring
for him.
"Wolf?" said Barry. "Hell, Fraze,
you blind or something? That ain't no wolf! That's a husky! I've
seen him a couple of times around town. I think he's putting the
moves on Bob's lead dog."
"Misty?"
"Yeah! She's already had a litter by some wolf
or something, but he hasn't been around for months. I suspect
somebody shot him. Guess this guy figured it was safe to try his
luck. Now don't get me wrong, we always need sled dogs around
here, but if that critter knocks her up, Bob's gonna be pissed,
'cuz he'll be short a dog for a while."
"Well, animals are animals. There's not much
we can do. But as to this creature being a husky, I don't believe it.
As far as I'm concerned, he was out in the wild, and, judging by the
consistency of his stools, and the disarray of the area,
I think he was trying to hold something in to regurgitate to pups. Wolves
do that. Dogs don't. That's all I know."
Everyone was looking at him strangely. He pulled
the blanket off from around his shoulders and handed it to Steve. He
stood up.
"In any case, does he have a name? I'd like
to know it."
"Nope, everybody just calls him No Name,"
Barry responded.
"Well, he's not strong enough to be on his own
yet. He'll need a few days. Can he stay here?"
Most of the men responded with "Oh yes of course"s
and "I don't mind"s.
Steve simply said, "Yup."
"Good. Then when he's better, he'll go back
to the wild."
The others nodded and everybody went about their
business. Steve and Fraser sat down next to the wolf. Fraser patted him
on the head and his friend examined the animal's teeth gently.
"This guy's been eating meat. I think you're
right, man."
"Perhaps. All I know is, he needs more than
he's gotten recently."
"Why'd you save him? I mean, these things kill
carribou."
"Only the old and the weak. They keep the herds strong
--- they have a lot of sense. They're graceful, important
animals, Steve."
"I guess. But why did you help this one?"
"I suppose," the dark haired man replied,
"because somehow
I knew him. I wouldn't have left
him there for anything."
The two locked eyes for a moment. Steve nodded and
stood up to stretch.
"Well, I have some things to attend to, and
so do you. When he wakes up, we can get something for him to eat."
"That's most kind of you."
The redhead waved him off and went to go file some
papers. Fraser scratched the wolf one more time and left to get
some work done, too. The wolf continued to doze, pretending he
hadn't heard anything. The thought of being out in the wild again after
this comfort of a warm room wasn't so thrilling. Maybe being a sled dog
wouldn't be so bad, contrary to what his mother, a
husky, had said to him. She told him about her daring escape from a sled
team to mate in the wild with his father, a wolf. She'd
hated her life in the world of men, and had strongly impressed
that hatred and fear upon her only surviving son from her first
litter. "Human" was a dirty word.
It took him a long time to get up the guts to go
into town. But when he did go, he didn't see bloodthirsty monsters waiting
to shackle and beat him. He saw little children in the
streets, who would shriek with joy when they saw him and pet him. Then
something wild would spring up within him and he would consider running,
but their doe eyes and cute, little runny noses would
banish the thought immediately, and he was content to have his
tail grabbed.
He decided, despite his mother's harried warnings
and anger, that humans were all right, as animals went. Even trappers,
men from the Yukon who wore warm, furry everything, sporting long beards
and hair in every bodily location imaginable, were okay,
because they respected the land. But not hunters. They were a
different species altogether. They were men who carried big guns
and killed things for sport. They were cruel and didn't know why. They
were what his mother thought all humans were. But she'd kept the name
they'd given her, despite herself --- Rhea.
He still remembered that day when he was just a pup. He'd
woken up excited, because he was six months old today, and
his mother was going to go through with the ceremony of wolf culture
and officially give him his name. He was curious as to what it
was. But when he fully came around, he was alone and the den was
cold. He stumbled outside just a little bit, wondering where his
mother had gone. Last night she was there, and this morning she
wasn't. He looked around for a while, until suddenly, he heard
her calling over the hills. It was a chilling howl, and it seemed to
be made of one word:
"KAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!!" she cried, shouting his
father's name, Kass, over and over again.
Without a thought, he ran out of the den and into
the deep snow. He growled a puppy growl and fought his way through the
powder on fuzzy little legs. His ears pricked up, following
the sound until, after what seemed like ages, he reached his mother.
She was crying as only a creature who has suddenly found itself
completely alone cries; with shock, with anger, and with no tears. She
saw him.
"Look what those bastards did to your father!"
she shouted, in a rage.
He was almost too scared to look, but, morbidly fascinated,
he did. His father was stretched out at his full length, strung
up on a line by his hind legs. A pool of blood was collecting
under him. Nearby, smoke rippled up from a temporary house. He
stood behind a tree as everything seemed to happen in slow motion. His
mother, in her grief, had stumbled out into the open.
"Oh, Kass! If I can't be with you, tell me what I can
do to help!" she cried, unaware that everything she
said would only be understood by her son, not the dead wolf, and
not the
*BANG*
*BANG*
*BANG*
Hunters. The wolf cub watched, too stunned to speak
or cry out, as the unseen killer, hearing his mother's howl and
loud barking, took her for a wolf too, and opened fire. The first two
bullets ripped through her shoulder and belly, spraying blood everywhere.
The last hit her cleanly in the chest and dropped
her like a stone.
He stood stock still for a moment. He could hear
the killer approaching, but he didn't know what to do. His mother did,
though. With her last dying breath and eyes glazing, she
turned her lolling head weakly in his direction and gave him not
a name, but an excellent piece of advice.
"Run, honey! Run! Ohh
"
She died as he turned around, and he didn't dare disobey her. He ran, on and on, into the forest, as fast as he could. He didn't even want to know what they would do to his mother and father. He didn't want to think about it. He just wanted to get the hell out of that clearing! When he finally stopped, he sat down on his furry little haunches and howled out his sadness and loss to the woods, not stopping until he was exhausted.
Suddenly, though, he felt warm hands patting his
head and someone making a "Shhh" noise at him. He opened his
eyes. He'd pawed the blankets off himself, and realized that
he'd actually been howling in his sleep. Feeling foolish for the
third time that day, he looked up and took in Glass Blue Eyes,
the man he'd heard the others call "Fraser." Fraser
just had a hand on his forehead. The wolf immediately stopped
the noise, blinked, and licked his chops.
"Good boy. Good boy," Fraser said. "Are you
hungry?"
Contrary to popular opinion, most canines understand humans
better than most humans think. This wolf was no exception. He made some
happy growling noises, tried to stand, licked his
chops again, and wagged his tail. The splint on his leg was holding.
"I think that means 'yes,'" Steve said,
entering with a bowl of meaty dog chow. "Let's see if he'll
eat some of this."
The wolf dug in with relish, but remembered to eat
slowly, because he hadn't exactly eaten his fill that week. But
suddenly, it hit him.
*Oh, no! The cubs! Oh, wait a minute, I can still
make it! Yesss!*
In three bites, he emptied the bowl as Fraser and
Steve stared open-mouthed. Then he bolted out the door into the
snow before the men could stop him. Steve put his hands on his
hips.
"Well, jeez! That's gratitude for 'ya!"
"Calm down, Steve. I think I know where he's
going," Fraser said, pulling on his heavy coat and gloves.
He ran out the door after the wolf.
"HE?" Steve replied incredulously. But out of curiosity, he pulled on his stuff and followed.
The two men were eventually reduced to following
the wolf's tracks, but they quickly found him. He was inside an
old barn, about a klick from the station, and three cute pups
were playing with each other in quarter-full grain bin. They ran
up to him, and Fraser and Steve watched as the wolf regurgitated
the food he'd just eaten into each of their mouths. With gleeful
little barks and yips, they went merrily on their way, chewing
and swallowing the chunks of dog food. The wolf, seeing the men,
stood up and wagged his tail.
Fraser looked at Steve a bit smugly. "See, I
told Barry he was a wolf."
"Well, he still doesn't look like one."
"Yes, but he must have been RAISED as one, or
else he wouldn't be doing that. He's a wolf."
"Whoopee. He just ate into our precious dog
food supply."
But the wolf, sensing near-animosity, walked over
to them, albeit limping, and panted at them in a friendly manner. The
cubs sidled up to him, seeking the protection of his three
good legs, and stared at the men, who looked back. Fraser started to
smile at the sight.
"Oh, no! Goddammit! They're doing it! Shield
your eyes, Fraser! Don't look at 'em!" Steve said, covering
his own eyes and Fraser's, and backing them both away.
"Doing what?" Fraser asked, blindly stumbling
backwards.
"The look! They're giving you the 'I want a
home for the winter look!' Aaah! Pull too strong! Must get out
of here! Noooo!"
Steve released Fraser, turned and jumped into the
grain bin. The other Mountie laughed. "No one says you have
to take them, Steve! I'll give them a place to stay."
Steve popped up, his hair covered in alfalfa. "WHAT?
Fraser, we can't share the station with four wolf thingies! It's
crowded enough with all of us as it is!"
"Oh, but come on! They're friendly. And when
they need to go, they'll go. They're wild animals, not pets. Besides,
this one is injured."
Steve sighed and fell back into the grain. "I'll be
in here if you change your mind."
"I won't, but thanks anyway. I'll see you back at the station. C'mon, you guys!" Fraser hailed the wolf and the cubs, and they followed him back to the station house.
The cubs and wolf ended up sticking around for five
days, until the cut on adult's leg was fully healed and his strength
was back. On his last night, the Mounties of the lodge, having
grown quite fond of him, Fraser included, decided to name him.
The wolf was overjoyed at the prospect. He'd never had one before. He
had to wait a while, though. It was Saturday night, and after an hour
of most of them getting drunk and Fraser mutely staring
off into space, no one had come up with any good ideas, until
finally
"Hey!" Steve suggested. "Okay. Fraser, you
found him, you name him."
Everyone seemed to agree with that, but Fraser was
having trouble coming up with a name. So he took a good, long
look at the animal, who was sitting politely on his haunches,
listening to every word, and hoping for an interesting moniker.
* "Wind Chaser," or maybe "Sly," or something like
that, would be nice,* he thought.
"Diefenbaker," Fraser said with decision.
*WHAT?!*
The other Mounties started howling with laughter.
"Diefenbaker! Yeah, that's a good one! He looks just like
him!" someone said, and they kept giggling, faces red with
drink and amusement.
"Fraser, what the hell kind of name is that
for a wolf?" Steve said, laughing despite himself. He'd taken a
liking to the critter too, and hated to see it saddled with
such a stupid name.
"Well, he needs one, it can be shortened to
'Dief,' and it has an interesting ring to it. It's musical. And
it's different. Like him."
The others stared at him for a second like he was
nuts, before returning to their guffaws and knee-slapping. One
guy was laughing so hard that he was finding it difficult to breathe.
But Diefenbaker, newly christened, was fairly pleased, given the
circumstances. He realized the compliments in what Fraser was
saying. Besides, "Dief" sounded much better than "Sly."
He let out a happy bark to let the humans know he approved, and
Fraser patted his head.
An hour later, the local doctor came by on request,
because all of their handmade splints had begun to break on Diefenbaker's
leg. He told the Mounties that the leg would need a cast, but
otherwise he'd be able to run around as usual. Fraser held him
still and Dief growled as the doctor packed the leg in plaster,
and a few minutes later, Fraser and the others released him and
the cubs back out into the wild. After three months, they could
catch him again and remove the cast.
Fraser stood at the door of the lodge and watched
the four of them run off into the night, back to the old barn,
and wondered if he would ever see Dief again. He seemed to be
okay with the cold --- not terribly happy, but not particularly
fazed. His thoughts kept drifting back to the poacher, though.
He was still out there --- they were getting two carribou carcasses,
horribly mutilated, flung at their door every day now. It was
intensifying, as were the snowy nights. Some back-up from Inuvik
had been called in. The area around the lodge and near Tuktoyaktuk was
being fully scanned, but so far, no one had picked up anything. No signs.
The search was getting frustrating. And perhaps even
more frustrating, no one could catch the person in the act of
leaving the bodies.
As he stood there, he wondered if perhaps the lunatic was hiding somewhere else. Every time the carribou had been found, it had been snowing. So the snow could have hidden snowmobile tracks and footprints. There was a definite possibility that whoever was doing it was off by himself in the wilderness. He kept pondering until the cold forced him back inside.
A week passed, of scans, and gruesome discoveries,
and no interception. Even the constant surveillance by the Mounties couldn't
catch the perpetrator. But Fraser wasn't on the same
page as everyone else, who was bitching in the squad room about
the frustrating aspects of the case. He was sitting alone, in
his chair at his desk, wondering about the trap.
His mind was racing, in an attempt to remember its
details. He remembered its large steel jaws, and the chain, and
*Wait a minute. That was the startling feature about it. The jaws were
huge, much larger than was needed for what it caught. That's why it broke
Dief's leg. My God. How could I have been so blind?
That trap was set for a carribou! Prince Rupert Sound!*
"Prince Rupert Sound!" he blurted out loudly,
startling the shit out of everybody. Barry spilled coffee on himself
and cursed. Steve flung his papers all over the place in a spastic fit.
Joel tripped and fell over.
"W-What?" Steve said.
"Prince Rupert Sound! The trap that caught Dief last
week was set for a carribou! Right in the forest around the
Sound! Nobody's looked there. That's probably where the poacher
is. I say we form teams and go looking right now, before another
animal gets killed needlessly."
The others looked at each other, with half-closed
eyes and raised eyebrows, the epitome of "Yeah, right." Fraser
was prone to some pretty crazy ideas, and everyone knew
it, but this one had to be the craziest. Besides, Barry wasn't
interested in listening to the guy who'd just made him stain his
pants, and he was the sergeant. The big man. The one in charge.
Everyone else in the squad was still a constable.
"Look, Fraser, I uh, I appreciate your input,
but let's not get carried away, here. So you found a carribou
trap. It's no big deal. Anybody could have set it."
" 'No big deal?' Sir, with all due respect
"
"That's enough, Fraser. The answer is no. I've
spent too much of our valuable time and money chasing this guy.
We'll look around this area for a few more days, and then that's
it."
"We're just going to let him go free?"
"We don't even know if it's a 'him!' Now, Constable,
I understand the kinship you have with this area, being born around here
and everything, but they're just carribou! This isn't a murder investigation!"
"No, it isn't! But it WILL be once someone starves
to death! For heavens sakes, sir, the people around here rely
on the carribou! The wolves rely on the carribou! The whole AREA
relies on the carribou! If they go, it's only a question of who's going
to follow first!"
Barry hung his head with a sigh. He liked Fraser,
he really did. And he knew, deep down, that the man was right,
as usual. So he gave in.
"All right. I'll dispatch you and three other
people. You can go take a look around the Sound. Report back every hour.
I'll make sure you guys get the long-range radios. You have twenty four
hours to find something. If you don't, the investigation, as far as we're
concerned, is officially closed. Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir. Thank you kindly."
"You're welcome. Who do you want to go with
you? And you have to exclude me. I have to stay here."
"Ah, yes. Well, let's see." He turned to
the others. "Um, Steve, Joel, and Harper. I mean, if all
of you are willing."
They had already been nodding at his hypothesis, chorused "Oh yeah," "Sure thing," etc. and started to get their gear on. Arctic gear is pretty heavy stuff --- warm long underwear, very thick socks, water-proof outer-garments, heavy jackets and gloves, strong boots, wool mufflers, and of course, the arctic beaverskin Mountie cap, with the flaps pulled down over the ears and tied under the chin. Taken all around, it's at least ten pounds of clothing. It took them about a half an hour to dress.
Soon they were whizzing over the terrain on a pair
of two-man snowmobiles, making their way to the Sound. Steve drove, and
Fraser sat behind him. Joel and Harper were on the other one. Unbeknownst
to them, Dief heard them leave and decided to follow. He wasn't that
speedy, with one of his legs in that annoying cast, but he kept pushing.
The pups were asleep, and Misty would be
there in the morning. Time for satisfying his curiosity. He limped after
the snowmobile tracks. It was starting to snow again. But
the cold was refreshing. He felt his body growing harder. He
felt the weather toughen the skin on his chest as he drove on.
The men burrowed through the forest until it thinned near
the banks, and Fraser got off of the vehicle. He drew his
weapon, cocked and ready in one hand. Steve nodded and turned
on his lantern. The other two men did the same. One had the firepower,
the other had the light. They settled down under the cover of
some trees and set up their base camp, a small tent, and covered
the snowmobiles with fallen debris. They'd be impossible to see.
It was starting to snow harder. Fraser made a note of their position
and quietly radioed it in to Barry. They were ready, their bodies set
taut as bowstrings in their places, waiting for the slightest movement.
It was eleven o'clock. Fraser realized for a moment
how insane this was, staking out a riverbank. But lives were in
jeopardy, and his hunches were rarely wrong. This was his home
turf, and he knew it better than anyone else on the team.
It was 11:16 when the twig snapped. Fraser's sensitive hearing
picked it up before the others, and he silently ordered
them quiet. All the lights in the tent went off. The men shut
up, hardly breathing until they heard what Fraser had a few moments before.
Footsteps crunching through the snow. Human footsteps.
And since all the trappers were required to let the R.C.M.P. know where
they were, and no one had radioed this in as their general
position, it had to be their man. Or something else. The footsteps approached
the tent, thoroughly camouflaged by fallen snow and
leaves and what not. The men inside were silent as death. They
had no idea what they were going to run into.
The footsteps passed the tent, and everyone breathed a quiet
sigh of relief. Fraser felt his weapon, nodded at everybody else, and
stepped out into the night.
And walked right into the poacher.
Who happened to be startled out of his wits at bumping into
another human being. He took off like a crazed lunatic, yelling and screaming,
waving his weapon, swearing, and running like the
devil.
"In the name of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police!
I order you to stop!" Fraser hollered at him, but it was
too late.
The poacher already a good ten yards on him, and was widening the gap. Fraser muttered and ran into the tent. Steve handed him a flashlight and he took off after the poacher. Steve and the others got up and ran off after him, taking their flashlights and guns, sighing and wondering how they always managed to get suckered in by this guy.
It was a wild and crazy night. The Mounties were
here, the poacher was there
and no one was getting much
of a glimpse of each other. Fraser was running himself ragged,
and realized, to his horror, that at six o'clock in the morning,
after hours of running around in the dark, stumbling over things
and hearing lots of gunshots, that he was exhausted and completely alone.
He couldn't give away his position by yelling, because
he didn't know if the poacher was alive or not, but he had no
idea where anyone else was.
Dief, meanwhile, was about a klick away from the
riverbank.
Fraser looked around desperately, getting his bearings as
the sun began to rise. He did the only thing that made sense
to him at the time --- he moved toward the water. At least he
would get a better perspective on things. There'd been an awful
lot of ammunition exchanges last night. None of it had come from
his gun and none of it had ended up near him, but still, it was
hard to tell if anyone had been hit. Or worse, if everyone had
been hit. He edged his way into the thinning foliage around the
riverbank, and prayed his friends weren't dead.
A sigh escaped him as he leaned up against a tree,
but the familiar crunch of footsteps caused him to look to his
left. He saw the poacher, equally dazed and tired, stumble out
of the woods. Quietly, the Mountie drew his weapon. He would get
the bastard this time.
Dief was half a klick away.
Boldly, Fraser ducked out from his cover. Putting
his sharpshooting skills to good use, he fired once, knocking
the gun out of the poacher's hand. He edged toward him, gun ready.
"You son of a bitch!" the man shouted at
him, holding his whiplashed wrist. "What the hell do you
think you're doing, shooting at me? This is my land! I can do
what I want here! You can't do this to me!"
"Wrong!" Fraser shouted back. "This
is MY land! And MY home! And for the past month, you've been wreaking
havoc on the lives of everyone in this area! So you have two choices,
sir! Surrender peacefully, or DIE!"
The words were meant to scare him. Fraser wasn't
about to shoot anybody. Fortunately, the tactic worked, and the
perpetrator raised his hands. Cautiously, the Mountie approached, gun
still up. He got around behind him.
"Good choice," he said, in a much quieter
tone.
Unfortunately, that was all he got out. In the midst of
reaching for the handcuffs, he lowered the gun a little bit,
just enough for the perpetrator to backhand him in the face, knocking
him on his duff. The gun went flying. In a second, the poacher
was on top of the Mountie, and Fraser got to see the guy up close and
personal.
He looked like an ogre and smelled like a trapper,
not to mention the fact that his mental state was highly questionable.
His nose was crooked, and he had a few scars on his face from
fighting with large animals. One eye was a murky blue, but the
other was brown. His hair was shaved so close that it was bald
in places. He was also two heads taller than Fraser, and about
a hundred pounds heavier.
He successfully pinned the slim, lightweight Mountie down
in the snow and watched him grit his teeth, wriggle, and
squirm. He always loved this part of the kill the best. Putting
one huge hand on Fraser's neck to hold him, and pinning the officer's
legs down with his knees, he used the other hand to reach into
his pocket and pull out his bowie knife. He brandished it. Fraser's eyes
widened and he let out a choked scream.
"Errrraaaaugh!" the poacher hollered, as
he raised the knife to plunge it down into some vital organ.
But he didn't count on his adversary. One of his
knees slipped off of his prey, and Fraser took that half a moment to
fight dirty and knee his opponent in the groin. Needless to
say, the guy dropped the knife. Fraser grabbed it, rolled out
from under him, and picked up a gun. In mute terror he fired at
the guy, but all his weapon made was a *click-click* noise. He'd
picked up the hunter's gun --- which was conveniently empty.
"Darn it!" he said, turned, and threw the
gun out of the way.
Unfortunately, when he spun around, the hunter was
back up, holding the Smith and Wesson, which still had almost
a full clip in it. Fraser dove into the woods as the madman opened fire,
emptying the gun in his general direction, but missing by
a mile. With all the bullets on either side spent, all either
had were their bare hands. Then Fraser made an enormous mistake.
He stepped back out into the open without looking.
The poacher angrily pounced on him, and the two went flipping
around, each trying to wrestle the other to the ground.
Finally they made it to a standing position, and still trying
to best the other, managed to maneuver themselves dangerously
close to the icy edge of the bank. Fraser was clearly outmatched.
Dief burst through the clearing at the last second,
barking his head off, and almost got his human friend killed.
Poor Fraser turned and looked at him, quite distracted for a second.
The poacher however, did not, and took the opportunity to smack
the Mountie really hard across the face. Stunned at the blow,
Fraser hardly noticed his three groggy companions making their
way to the bank, pulling tranquilizer darts out of their behinds
and rubbing the sore areas.
But he DID notice when the poacher lifted his limp
body high above his balding, ugly head, and made to heave him
into Prince Rupert Sound. He reared back with an inhuman yell,
and there was nothing Fraser could do but what he did.
Grab his opponent's collar and hang on for dear life.
The poacher flung him into the icy waters of the
Sound, and gave a tremendous scream as he got dragged in after
his victim. The Mounties watched in horror as the surface of the
water became very still. Dief raised a howl. Steve grabbed his
radio.
"Barry! Mayday! Mayday! We've got an officer
in the Sound! Repeat! We've got an officer in the Sound! Fighting with
the perpetrator! Send help! Quick! I think the dumb fuck
is trying to drown Fraser! Over!"
"Copy, Steve! I'll send the air chopper! Now
you listen to me! You play the hero, and you're a dead man! Stay
with the other two! You fall in, your clothes will weigh you down and
you'll die! Is that understood?! Over!"
"Yes! Understood! Copy! Over!" He turned
the radio off. "Shit!!"
But suddenly, some bubbles appeared on the surface.
In an enormous splash of water, Fraser surfaced, gasping for air, fighting
furiously with the poacher. The large man had his hands
around Fraser's neck.
"Aye aye aye!" Dief barked, yipping crazily and
running along the bank.
This human had saved his life. It was only fair that he
should try and do the same. But what could one wolf do against freezing
water and an enormous man?
Fortunately, the latter problem solved itself. Dief
and Steve surveyed the scene frantically, each wanting to propel
himself into the water and help. Fraser was weakening, but the
poacher was freezing, barely moving. After a beat, he sank into
the water. Steve and Dief were both relieved, but then horrified
as Fraser began to lose consciousness, and sink as well, as if
he had some weight attached to his already heavy clothes, which,
having been ripped in the recent fray, were getting saturated
with the cold water.
"Fraser! NO!"
*No! Fraser, no! You can't --- I can't let this ---
Dammit! Hang on, man! I'm coming!*
Dief let out a wolf wail, ran back to give himself
a runway, then shot forward toward the bank as fast as he could,
bounding off of it, broken leg and all, with an acrobatic leap.
Steve and the others stood there, mortified, but he didn't notice. His
own howl roared in his ears, and he heard his mother's scream, his father's
last pathetic yip, and the squealing of the cubs.
Doing this for a human was treason, as far as he'd been told.
But it didn't matter. If he couldn't see this human alive again,
nothing would matter, anymore.
He hit the Sound with a slap and dove through the
surface, deep into the icy water. He held his breath and swam
around for a frantic moment, until he saw Fraser, about three
feet beneath the surface. The man's eyes were closed, and his
face was as ice-blue as the water. His body was limp, and there
were no bubbles coming out of his mouth. Then suddenly, he saw
the reason his friend was sinking. The dead poacher's body was
hooked to Fraser by the belt.
Nothing drove through him so strongly as to bite
that connecting loop and wriggle it loose, so he did. It came
apart in his jaws with a snap. The poacher was disconnected from
the Mountie, and his body kept sinking into the depths of the
Sound like a heavy stone. Dief was never so glad to see one human die
and one human live.
Fraser's body was now free to be pushed up to the
surface, and he started to nudge up against the man's back, but
for a moment, he had to stop. An awful pressure was building up
inside his head. He hadn't even considered the cold until now,
but realized that the cast on his leg was wet and ice-crusted,
that his limbs were shaking, and that his thoughts were becoming
fuzzy. Then suddenly, something exploded inside his skull in sweet release.
He drove on and pushed Fraser to the surface.
An explosion of ice, water, man and dog announced
that the divide between air and Sound was breached, and Dief blew out
a long-held breath. But instead of hearing the sky, the water, and the
noise of the humans on the bank, all he heard was silence. Even the howl
in his ears was gone. There was nothing left.
Steve saw Fraser surface just as the medical helicopter
landed. He and the others raised a cheer for the crew's arrival,
but more for Dief, who was dog paddling towards shore, dragging
Fraser by the collar like a rag, through the icy water. Steve
knelt on the bank and grabbed his friend. The paramedics laid
him on a blanket and started CPR, while the two other Mounties
helped a frosty Dief out of the Sound and began to rub him down
with a warm towel.
He was so excited by the rescue that for a few minutes he
just felt his heart beating and didn't realize what had happened. He
saw the paramedics cutting Fraser's shirt open, one pumping
on his chest and the other breathing into his mouth, but he couldn't
hear their conversation. He felt the wind in his face, but couldn't hear
it's whistle. And when Steve leaned in and said, maintaining eye contact,
"Good boy, Dief! Good boy!" it was all
he could do to try and respond with a yip, because he couldn't
hear him. He knew he was growling a "Yes," because he
felt it in his throat, but he couldn't hear it at all.
"Good wolf. Very good wolf," Steve mouthed at
him.
Dief ignored the terror of the silence, licked the
Mountie's face and ran over to see what the paramedics were doing. After
six minutes, Fraser was still down. But the paramedic blew
one more time, and Fraser sputtered to life, coughing and gagging on
an awful lot of water. One medic turned him on his side, and
he spit some of it onto the ground. Finally he coughed his airway completely
clear and was turned on his back. Steve and the others ran to join the
scene as one medic covered Fraser up to the neck
with a blanket and helped the other set him on a gurney and strap him
down. They started an i.v. and began to wheel him to the chopper. Dief
followed next to the gurney. Fraser turned his head weakly,
locked eyes with the wolf, and in an instant, judging from the
animal's still damp appearance, understood what had happened.
"Thank you," he mumbled, and passed out.
Dief, quite alarmed by this sudden turn his human had taken, uselessly barked. He felt someone patting him and looked up at Steve, read his lips and just caught the word, "Hospital."
Fraser spent a day and a half in the hospital recovering
from the strangulation attempt, the near drowning, and the hypothermia
from the cold water, but quickly returned to his post, with doctor's
orders to take it easy for a few days. He was perfectly willing
to do that, he decided, as he made the trek up on the back of
a snowmobile, bundled up and tired.
Dief also had a doctor's order of staying by the
fire for a little bit, and staying still, as the doctor had to
re-cast the leg. The old plaster had gotten way too damp in the
Sound to be of any use. But after telling the doctor that Dief
was a very polite creature, Steve mentioned the fact that he had
tried to call him when the animal wasn't looking at him, and he
didn't respond. The doctor noted that, got out his instrument,
and took a look in Dief's ears.
When Fraser arrived that evening, everyone was very
glad to see him, and immediately set up a place for him on the
sofa by the fire. But behind the happiness was an unreachable
melancholy, lurking just beneath the skin of their tired faces.
Fraser was puzzled about it until Steve finally told him. They
were sitting in front of the fire, and Steve had decided his hands were
fascinating. Fraser was exhausted and not prying by nature,
but he had to know.
"Steve, what's the matter with everybody?"
The other constable looked down into the flames before replying.
"Well, Fraser, it's like this. We've got a hero
on our hands."
Fraser stared at him, puzzled.
"Only problem is, he's deaf."
"Who are you talking about?"
Steve sighed. "Diefenbaker. After the accident, I tried
to call him when he wasn't looking at me, and he didn't
respond, so I had the doctor take a look at his ears."
Fraser was staring at the floor.
"He's absolutely deaf as a post, man. The doctor said
that his eardrums couldn't take the temperature in the Sound, and they
burst from the cold.
I asked the doc if he was
any good for a wild thing anymore, and he said no way. He said
ol' Dief wouldn't last five minutes out there alone and deaf.
I'm so sorry, Fraser. He obviously wanted to be your wolf, and
I think he's gonna have to be, now."
Fraser nodded. "Mm."
"So, what are you going to do?"
Fraser paused to consider.
"Well, I think I'll give him a place on the
sled team and a spot by my fire. He'll have plenty of friends
around here."
Steve was pleased, but began to laugh. "Fraser, I know
you'll take care of him. But how are you going to make
him understand you properly?"
The other man smiled, and his eyes caught the firelight
as Dief bounded into the room, wagging his tail crazily and jumping on
his human in excitement.
Fraser scratched his wolf behind the ears and said,
"Easy. I'll enunciate."
The End