Thanks to Anagi and LoydeH for their speedy betaing. :) I think this is the darkest piece of fic I ever wrote and my first piece with anything resembling slash, so comments would be welcome. Make that VERY welcome.

Warning: A hint of spoilers for Ladies Man, and it may or may not involve a major character's death, depending if I have any ideas for a sequel. And as I said, a VERY dark piece. And for those of you who don't really like slash, you might want to keep away tho I don't think there's really much of it here.

Rate: I have no idea, do you?? Hmm...maybe a PG-13 or R.

Disclaimers: Not mine, no money and if you do sue, all you'll get is a couple of CDs and a whole stack of Law books and notes. No point right?? :)

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In The Absence Of The Moon
By Eugenie Chua

A lone figure sat beside the window, observing the storm outside while an internal storm was raging in his own heart at the same time. There was supposed to be a full moon tonight, but the storm clouds must have curtained it. The soft melody of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata started to play in the background, filling the dark apartment with music that oddly fit the atmosphere. A song of a moon for a night without it.

In his mind's eye, he saw his life flash by. Events that had lead him to this point in a life that wasn't even his own to begin with, to this moment, alone in his apartment with his thoughts. Contemplating the purpose of life, of his life.

Why am I even here?! he found himself thinking. What am I doing? I used to know who I am, now I can't answer the question. Who am *I*?!

If he'd voiced out his thoughts, the last question would be a desperate plea for an answer. He didn't know who he was, he wasn't sure of anything anymore except that he was in love and he had nearly killed a person earlier that day.

Love. That was something he needed badly and it was the one thing that he did not have. He was in love with his friend, probably his best friend in his life, who was also his working partner. He had been for sometime. He'd finally told his friend the truth about his feelings, even though he didn't expect him to return his feelings, it still hurt to hear it for himself. The pain got worse as the weeks went by with both of them acting as if nothing out of the usual had happened.

He thought that he could get over it, that it would be less painful as time passed, that time would dull his senses and he could get on with his miserable life. But the truth could not be further from it. He could not do it. The pain got worse every time the pair of blue eyes looked in his direction, it got worse every time he smiled at him. Basically everything he did hurt him.

Life had stopped for him the day the words "I'm sorry" left those beautiful lips. And to think that he, a lifeless piece of shell, had nearly made someone pay the ultimate price for a crime she did not commit. . .

A bitter laugh escaped his lips while tears streamed down his cheeks.

He picked up a piece of glass near his feet, a result of his outburst earlier in the evening, looking into it, he found a stranger staring back. He closed his eyes, unwilling to look into those haunted eyes that reflected his soul.

Everything would be all right, he told himself. Everything would be all right.

When the music eventually ended, a flash of lightning lit up the apartment. Pieces of glass glittered on the carpeted floor, like the stars that were supposed to blanket the night sky, soaking in blood still dripping from the wrist of the limp form in the chair. . .

THE END